People Who Cater to their shitty partners

Who said it's about love? Divorce can be a powerful deterrent.

I've always assumed those people had shitty, emotionally abusive parents. They can't be with a partner who actually respects and appreciates them because they wouldn't know how to handle it.

They were very likely raised in a dysfunctional and abusive environment by toxic, needy parents whom they had to cater to in order to survive and also to minimize the abuse, and are programmed that way; to take care of the needs of others first and make their lives comfortable, even if its at their own expense. Its learned behavior. Years of repetition, which is a form of child abuse. So they don't know anything else. And as a result they have low self-esteem which leads to co-dependency, so there's that issue too.

Years ago I ended a relationship with my cousin because she catered to her mean, selfish, crazy bitch mother (my aunt) and by the time we turned 50 I could no longer deal with it any longer and cut her off permanently. She saw that it was causing me frustration and anxiety and she wouldn't listen to me that her parents did not give a shit about her and take my advice.

She just kept doing everything for them and getting used and abused on top of it and then she'd come crying to me. No thanks. I had enough of that insanity. My cousin is a nice person but she never really grew up because they held her back, not because she is disordered or mental. She should have cut them off when she was young, in her 20s or 30s. Fifty-something years old still catering to those nut cases and getting no appreciation for it. I had to let her go for my own sanity.

This has everything to do with us having a much smaller dating pool. Its the only reason nowadays I hate being gay. I cannot be with someone I am not attracted too physical. Sometimes you have to put up with shit. I even considered going back to women because of it, but i'm not emotionally into women.

My own personal relationship are too important to me to devote much energy to figuring out other people's. I think that is for the best. It's more than a little presumptuous to think you know anyone well enough to understand their relationships with others.

This is NOT "largely a frau phenomenon." It's a human phenomenon. It's very difficult to respect people who keep going back for more, but don't be a bigger dick about it than you have to be.

I have a friend who was once close to me and we're all pretty upset because it's like our friend group has lost him. His boyfriend won't publicly acknowledge him, cheats and allows my friend who makes less money to pay most of the bills. There were a few meltdowns where my friend reached out to his old group of friends because he caught his boyfriend cheating or talking to other guys but other than that he's abandoned everyone from his life. I really do think that's pretty sad that somebody gives up their whole life for another person who doesn't even appreciate it.