Chris Martin and Dakota Johnson broke up.

I didn't even know they were dating.

.....

Bland and Blander.

Hasn’t that girl seen enough marrying and divorcing and step parenting. Wtf was she doing with a 42 year old divorced father.

I'm in the minority, but I kind of like Dakota. She's genuinely awkward and sweet in interviews. Bland--yeah, a little. But she seems unusually down-to-earth to me for someone who was rated by celebrities. There's nothing remotely vapid about her, which I appreciate.

My condolences

I think Chris Martin's hot as fuck. Always have.

[Quote] I think Chris Martin's hot as fuck. Always have.

I think he looks cute now that he's not as skinny. And i like Coldplay.

Did Martin put on (much needed) weight after he ditched the bitch who barely eats, Goop?

Once she figured out she’d be spending all her vacations with goop doing couples’ vagina steaming, she hightailed it out of the relationship. Took her a while, but the girl is kinda slow.

[Quote] Once she figured out she’d be spending all her vacations with goop doing couples’ vagina steaming, she hightailed it out of the relationship.

😄

She's so boring. And I don't have a single bit of respect for him because he was married to that disgusting fucking moron paltrow

Can you imagine putting up with that dumb bitch paltrow?

Ditto r11. The four of them (Chris, Dakota, Goop and her new gay husband, Brad), are so aggressively boring and blah it actually angers me.

I bet they broke up because they were such boring people they bored each other into breaking up.

Chris is one of the ugliest men I've ever seen.

No break up because this was not a real relationship, much like his dalliance with Lawrence. Chris Martin is a gay man.

Oh please. You guys think EVERY MAN is gay. 🙄

Martin has come out several times. Bringing Noel Gallagher as his date to an award show, telling Howard Stern that "Gwyneth has been a great beard for me all these years", and then recently he said he spends most of his weekends on Grindr.

Also, Guy Berryman is gay as well.

Ever see Chris Martin dancing? NO straight man moves like that with that gay smile. Never mind his outfit - skin tight shirts and fluorescent sneakers.

Straight men dress like that these days.

I didn't know they were together, or I maybe I just forgot because they're both soo boring. I'm kind of surprised he's only 42 because it seems like he's been around for a really long time, and I knew Gwyneth had to be somewhat older than that (just looked it up and she's turning 47 this year).

Wow. I really don't care.

I fucked Chris after goop-steaming his manvag.

[quote] a shocking new report claims

Well that is just a little bit too dramatic.

I wanna fuck Martin so bad. Come to cock Chris. You know you want toooo

I also find Chris hot ever since he left Goop

Maybe he couldn't get it up any longer.

Her daddy Don was way hotter, actually he is still hotter than Chris Martin

Chris Martin = anemic bedwetter

Someone mentioned Guy Berryman showing up to a red carpet event with long female hair and a fucking sarong and sandals on many years ago. Essentially dressed as a woman.

There was a reason why when the band was launched the good looking bassist who all the girls loved was "married happily to his wife". They locked that up right away because he was the "cute" one in the band.

Is Dakota a lesbian? Based on her awkward looks and pictures from when she was a kid, I'm thinking the lack of boy attention turned her into her female friends and attracted to women.

I'm assuming she wasn't getting the boys lined up to take her out in high school.

Was it a conscious uncoupling?

Very very good description r27.

[quote]Was it a conscious uncoupling?

An unconscious coupling, I’d imagine.

She was OK, but I couldn't take the dumb fat skanky mother. Or the inexpressive grandma.

Big dick but as milquetoast as the day is long.

Eventually bores all his girlfriends into a permanent bed death.

I don't blame Dakota for jumping ship. It was a weird situation from the beginning, and Goop still has her claws in Martin playing the "we're great friends and spend a lot of time together!" shtick. Wasn't Dakota forced to have Thanksgiving with him at Goop's house? I wonder if she convinced to Dakota to do a vag steaming session.

[Quote] I wonder if she convinced to Dakota to do a vag steaming session.

Lol probably.

Does steamed vag really taste better?

R37 well I'm sure it's the healthier option.

Can you imagine how uncomfortable this was?

R39 I'd find a way to manage if it meant I got to spend time in the Maldives.

Are you kidding me R40? You couldn't pay me to go on a vacation anywhere in the world with Goop--you do realize that entering a foreign country with her would mean listening to hours of Goop extolling said countries' exotic cultures, and expounding her systematic list of every way in which they are superior to America--all whilst steaming her vag.

R41 is right. Can you imagine what poor Dakota was subjected to?

There is no doubt in my mind that Dakota broke this off because of Queen Goop's control over Chris. All of the press about Chris and Dakota's relationship has been told straight from the mouth of Goop, who has been gushing about how she loves Dakota and how she and Chris are still such good friends and she loves spending time with both of them and blah blah blah. Most reasonable people would be off-put by this level of passive-aggressive cuntery that only Le Goop is capable of.

R41 it's called selective hearing 😏

Goop is a sociopathic autocrat obsessed with selling her new-age image of a "modern family." Dakota didn't break up with Chris to get away from Chris, she did it to get away from Goop.

Dakota Johnson is the Average White Girl of her generation. Someday she will find her Prince Average White Guy and settle into weekly trips to church for the Daily Mail.

Sexit! Sad!

R4

[quote] someone who was rated (sic) by celebrities.

What? Her relatives are dead?

And also "to be related to..."

R46, you mean Armie Hammer?? Because he is heading for divorce.

I saw a photo of Martin looking very very happy after the breakup with whatsherface.

He looked just like that, only even happier, when he broke up with Goop. It was like an anvil had been taken off of his shoulders.

[Quote] Someday she will find her Prince Average White Guy and settle into weekly trips to church for the Daily Mail.

Kellan Lutz

This headline though

Dakota’s a pretty good actress outside of that 50 Shades nonsense. She was *great* in the Suspiria remake

I agree R53. I've never seen the 50 Shades crap, but I liked her in Suspiria and Bad Times at the El Royale.

I thought Suspiria was terrible

[quote]He looked just like that, only even happier, when he broke up with Goop. It was like an anvil had been taken off of his shoulders.

He had already given Alexa Chung a call at that point. Expect to see him with a new chick within a week. He wastes no time between women.

“Is Dakota a lesbian? Based on her awkward looks and pictures from when she was a kid, I'm thinking the lack of boy attention turned her into her female friends and attracted to women.

I'm assuming she wasn't getting the boys lined up to take her out in high school.”

💡So THAT’s how this gay thing works.

Yeah, the body language here looks *super* comfortable.🙄 I’m sure Gwyneth has nothing to do with this girl wanting to jump ship...

R54 you're not missing anything. Unless you're a huge fan of Dornan.

I fucking hated Suspiria. But she was ok in that. But Damn, what a horrible movie.

She was ok in How To Be Single. She definitely balanced Rebel Wilson out.

Are they back together ?

Aren't they back together? She's one of those actresses that mediocre and bland. Pretty forgettable. I enjoyed her mother more than her. But that is what we are going to get now. Lame ass kids from movie stars.