Let's be the original "Star Wars"!

I'm the Kessel Run, which the Millennium Falcon can complete in under twelve parsecs!

I'm the Stormtrooper who bumps his noggin while walking through an open hatch on the Death Star.

I'm Carrie Fisher's coke nail in Return of the Jedi.

This is just about the first "Star Wars" movie, r3.

I'm the skeletons of Luke's Aunt and Uncle that we see briefly when Luke returns home.

I'm C3PO's gayness, which can be, um... seen from space?

I’m Leia's fake British accent. I pop up from time to time.

r4 Literally not mentioned anywhere in OP's post.

I'm Aunt Beru's FABULOUS outer space kitchen, entirely made of white plastic!

[quote] Literally not mentioned anywhere in OP's post.

The title of the thread is "Let's be the original "Star Wars"!", which refers to the original film's title.

R8 knows neither the definition of "original" nor "literally."

Discuss.

I'm the blue milk. Now that you’ve seen where I come from, you probably don’t want me, do you?

I'm this baby Ewok. I was so young at the time...

I’m Episode I: The Phantom Menace, the original Star Wars from an in universe chronological perspective.

I'm the Millennium Falcon where Leia does lines while trading bong hits with Han.

I'm Obi Wan wondering if Luke is into older English gents.

[quote] I'm Obi Wan wondering if Luke is into older English gents.

He would’ve been into Moff Tarkin.

We’re the Tusken Raiders. Does it make us less or more scary to know that we used to anally rape Darth Vader's mother?

I'm Gold Five.

I’m Porkins, R18. I can smother you to death.

I’m Biggs. Look for me in the deleted scenes!

I'm the Tosche Station, get yer power converters here!

[quote]I'm Princess Leia's apparent lack of any emotional reaction after Grand Moff Tarkin blows up her entire home planet..

She was being stoic you Nitwit, she couldn't show any vulnerability.

She used a British accent when she was meeting with other officials. She largely didn’t use it for her interactions with the plebs.

I'm George Lucas's creepy female hairdo fetish.

I'm Wedge Antilles's reaction upon first seeing the Death Star: "Look at the size of that thing!"

Oddly enough, he uttered the same words the night before in Luke's bedroom at the rebel base!

I am Mos Eisley Spaceport, and you will "never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy".

I still use that line whenever I enter any bar on Castro street.

I'm Greedo, the green bounty hunter. I'm introduced and killed in one short scene.

I'm Chewbacca, AKA the Big Walking Carpet that always gets in everyone's way

I’m Episode IV...eventually

I'm the incredibly arch dialogue.

I’m the heroin droid Leia ordered.

She pretends to not know what I’m doing there and feigns distress in front of witnesses.

I'm NOT the droids you're looking for.

I'm the suggestion that Luke & Leia should get together.

I'm those creepy little Jawa eyes, that look like a car's cigarette lighter.

I'm Koo Stark, who can't wait to tell her friends about the silly space opera she's acting in, not realizing her role will be a trivial footnote after being left on the cutting room floor; and she'll soon be more known as the soft core porn actress getting shagged by Prince Andrew.

I'm the dianoga. Skywalker boys taste like trash.

I'm Ben Kenobi, who lies to Luke about his dad being killed by Darth Vader, because Lucas hasn't bothered to finish writing the trilogy yet... :/

I’m the tiny alien monster begging for his milk at the bar...

I'm the script that Harrison Ford hates.

I’m the closed/self-contained movie text that did not need a sequel, let alone a franchise.

What else? I'm the Force.

I'm the REAL Jabba The Hutt.

I'm Leia bigotry against Wookiees.

I’m Alec Guinness about to make my biggest payday and bring some bloody class to this sandpit

I'm the bra that Carrie Fisher wasn't allowed to wear!

Because George Lucas didn't think bras would work in space. No, really.

I am he old school effects......never to be seen again now because Lucas is fucking nuts

I am Han. I fucking shot first.

I'm Governor Tarkin's foul stench.

I'm the tiny wheeled robot that goes beep-blip-blooping my way through the Death Star until frightened away by Chewbacca. What did I do to him? The big bully.

I'm the incredible smell Leia discovered.

I’m THE TRAP!!!

You’re too early, R52.

He old

I'm the pilot who fired first at the Death Star and missed.

R50, you are a mouse droid, lol

LoL! :)

I'm the Sarlacc pit...I look like a giant vagina with teeth. I smell just as bad too.

I’m the insides of a Tauntaun. I smell bad, too.

I'm Luke, I'm alone in my bunk thinking about the things I'd do to Lea, though my feelings tell me it's wrong for some reason.

I'm Luke's girlfriend on Tattooine, whose role ended up on the cutting room floor, along with Biggs's.

My absence has been keenly felt over the decades, because without me Luke Skywalker seems to be the only male virgin in the entirety of popular culture. Because of that, the fandom is infested with horrible awkward on-the-spectrum male nerds who dream of superpowers and can't get a girlfriend because they're horrible people. The worship Luke, hate women, dark people, foreigners, and men who can pull girls, and have devoted their last four years to bashing Disney and everyone who had anything to do with the new Star Wars films. Just think, if I'd stayed in the film, they'd be somebody else's problem.