Can a fuckbuddy situation truly work out well?

As long as the one person who becomes overly attached isn't you, then what's the problem?

r1 it's worked out for me, OP.

Some context: we lived in the same city for about a year and fucked on a regular basis. Then four years ago I moved away for work. We see each other maybe 3-4 times a year to catch up (and fuck, of course). Neither of us is partnered but we both have sex with other guys.

I'm in my 30s; he's in his 60s. I don't know if the age difference matters (I've always been into older guys).

You never know when someone starts getting a little too attached, what could happen

I should add at r2 that we're incredibly sexually compatible, which has something to do with it as well.

I have one. We don't get to see each other all that often, but it's always great when we do.

I have the caveat that we've both acknowledged that if our circumstances were different, we might have upgraded the label. But being what they are, we're both mature enough to know that it is what is.

Good for you, R2 and R5. I'm envious, seriously. I really want that situation also, OP.

Full disclosure: He and I met on Scruff, and then really clicked at our first encounter. So don't dismiss the apps out of hand.

I've had other regular things, but none seemed to understand that I enjoy putting equal emphasis on the "friends" and the "benefits."

Yes, if he's got a big one

R2 daddy issues

Maybe. I had one for about six months. The best, most int MSW sex I’ve ever had. Ended when he found a boyfriend. I was growing too attached. I’m 20 years older than he is so it was the inevitable outcome.

I have another that I’ve had for the past 2.5 years. Was a neighbor so we used to get together 1-2 week. He moved so now we only see each other once a month. Genuinely like each other and WhatsApp at least once a week to check in.

So sometimes no, sometimes yes.

R10 here. Typo above should have written “most intense sex”. And I don’t think it will ever be matched. We just clicked sexually even though he was not my usual type. He was blind and hairy and I generally like dark hair and smooth. But damn that boy was amazing.

Was your Master of Social Work sex with a blind or a blonde man?

I'm sorry, I'm terrible.

I've spent the last 6 years sucking off a married 40 year old straight guy. He's got an 8 inch cock and he comes in my mouth every time. Sometimes my breath stinks for days afterwards. His wife refused to go down on him because of the smell lol.

R13 parts of that sounded hot. But, ya know, brushing your teeth and using mouthwash would solve part of that problem.

Straight🤣. Yeh Jan @R13

I have been in a FB situation for 3 years. The guy is otherwise attached and we are not in communication between encounters at all. I can't call him or text. I thought that sucked at first, but it's fine: He wants to preserve his primary relationship, and I'm not interested in stealing him, even if I could. The 'no call' situation, I found, works both ways: If I'm busy or otherwise unavailable when he calls, I just don't answer. No wheedling; no prying into what I'm doing, or who I'm with. Because of all these boundaries, the sex stays fresh and we stay together. He is one sexi papi! I am pretty much done with longterm relationships where living together is involved, so this suits me. I get my needs met and have the rest of my time to do what I want.

R16 you are an on call cumdump.

R15 =A sexless cunt nobody wants.

No straight guys gonna stick his dick inside you unless he's the boogeyman,or if you're lucky a Trump supporter.

I want what R16 has - seriously NO obligations, just fuck whenever the timing works out. I have other stuff to do.

@R13 is triggered by the truth 😂😂 old grizzly ho. You’re blowing a closer case you fool because no straight dick would go near your nasty mouth 💩

^^Closet case

R20 / R15 - you seem oddly obsessed with person at R13

R5 / r12. You’re not terrible. I’m a terrible typist on my phone with autocorrect.

He is blond, not blind. With enough blond hair on his ass you could practically braid it. So not my physical ideal. But we ended up having such a passionate connection sexually that I ended up finding him incredibly hot.

Funny enough, I have an MSW so i guess it could have been called Master of Social Work sex. But like most social workers, I’m emotionally fucked up enough to have fallen for someone I really was never going to be able to keep. 9 months after he told me we’d have to stop having sex because he was going to be exclusive with some other guy, I still find myself looking at his pics once or twice a month and longing.

Yes it can OP I have several going. Some have turned into friends as well as FB, we respect each other's boundaries. I will say it's nice to have these kind of secret relationships and have someone to text with and just talk about things. It's truly a 21st century dynamic. We check in with each other a couple times a week and have no secrets. In some ways I feel closer to them than I do to my "mainstream" friends. I don't even know how to label it. We share a lot without any baggage if that makes any sense.

You'll reap what you sow.

Thank you for coming to the church picnic, r25

I've had several over the years. They all worked until they didn't. My last two cut me off within a week of each other. They both found guys they were seriously interested in and neither wanted to mess things up with their new boyfriends. They were both cool about it and I understood.

It can work, OP!

About 15 years ago I received a message on one of the gay social sites - clearly before apps were a thing. We both liked what we saw, based on our profiles were sexually compatible, so we decided to meet for a coffee, see if we clicked. We did. What started for us as just a hook-up moved pretty quickly to FWBs. He’s been in an open relationship the whole time; I’ve been partnered and single throughout. I’ve met his partner, vacationed with them, gone out with just the partner. He’s met my BFs when I was partnered, four of us gone out. I can honestly say he is much more than just an FWB - he’s really one of my best friends. We talk most days, bitching about work, other life nonsense. We both lost parents this past year and were there for each other. We can and do just hang out w/o sex - and we’ve gone long stretches without too. But when we are having sex, gotta say it’s hot AF. There’s the comfort, familiarity of each other, the fact we get each other’s little kinks, are fairly spontaneous in bed keep it hot.

It’s nice to have hot sex, have a conversation after, then send him on his way, knowing we’ll be same as we’ve always bern.

Good luck finding your FWB, OP!!

Seems like a lot of Sanders supporters on here recently

I've had a few, but the longest lasted ten years. Unbelievable sex, but he would have been terrible as a steady relationship. Neither of us pretended otherwise. We'd hook up every couple of months, spend a weekend together, and then go our separate ways again. It ended because he spiraled out of control with alcohol and drug issues. He ended up dying at 39, which is sad because we used to joke that we'd still be FBs when we were in the nursing home. It is possible, but you need to be honest with yourself and each other.

I've had a few. My first was best friends with an ex, they lived together. When I broke up, because we'd known each other we were friends first, because I'd hung out at my ex's and then we fucked. It wouldn't have been right to date, because he was still living with my ex, so we just settled for the FWB tag. Sex was the best, he is seriously hung and the friendship is great.

My second fuckbuddy was a really sweet guy. Energetic, confident and assertive. We didn't date because we each had relationships, but my god when we got together the sex was fabulous. We'd call and text most days to talk about stuff. I spoke to him on a Sunday night, we made plans to meet up the following weekend. My fone went off on the Monday evening and it was his mum calling, he had been staying with her after breaking his leg, to tell me that he had killed himself that morning. Neither she, nor I, had any idea that he was considering doing that. He seemed happy at home and on the phone with me. It was completely out of the blue. He was amazing, a real friend and lover.

My final fuckbuddy is still with me after 10 years. I had arranged a 4 way with my fuckbuddy above and another couple, but my buddy above had a cold, so couldn't make it. I was enroute to the couple's on my own, when they called to say would I pick up another guy and bring him, which I did. It was the guy I picked up, who became my fuckbuddy. He is gorgeous, we call and text each week. I would have him as my boyfriend, but he lives in a far away city. We've holidayed together loads of times. I've fucked him in loads of situations, loads of places, we've had lots of fun and still going strong. He has a boyfriend now, so I respect that, but when he's single again, his relationship is on its last legs, then we'll fuck.

I've had a great time will all 3. Only the last one have I had ever wanted as a boyfriend. I've never told him because I don't want to ruin our beautiful relationship already.

It's called having a straight married man to fool around with. It'll never evolve more than FWB.

I think if you set the right boundaries, it truly can work out for all parties.

I’ve had several such situations. We were friends besides being FBs, but if the moment was right and no other opportunity presented itself, we’d have sex.

That's a good arrangement to have R34

[quote] I keep thinking one of the people involved would start to become attached.

I don’t see that as a problem as long as the other one blocked it. I was the one in the relationship who was able to coldly but truthfully tell the other that a romantic relationship was never going to happen and let them deal with it.

I had one on and off for 15 years.

Nothing stays the same forever. And like any other relationship people evolve in different directions erasing the original boundaries of the relationship. Some fuckbuddy relationships end, because one guy moves away. Others end, because one brings too much emotional baggage into it all of a sudden and the other guy isn't ready (and never will be ready) for that.

LTR Fuckbuddies happen when there is nothing but sexual fireworks between the two but otherwise you both know it's never going to go beyond that. But extraordinary sexual compatibility is nothing to be taken lightly it's a rare rare thing of beauty.

Just one?

Are you new to being gay?

One time I had 6 on hand. Yes, I was a whore darling.

If it isn't working, it just ends. That's the beauty of it.

"I'd love to find a fuckbuddy - a truly 'no-strings attached' situation."

There are always strings but no one has the balls to admit it.

In the past I had a couple where we had good sexual chemistry and liked each other, but trying to make it a legit relationship would never have worked for various reasons, mostly having to do with where we were in life at that moment, who our friends were, etc.

That said, you need to make sure you are both on the same page.

Too often, one party would really like the relationship to go beyond just FWB and that can lead to issues.

There are always strings attached Op.

Thank you Captain Obvious.

You're welcome Captain Crotchrot.

Should a fuckbuddy ever stay the night?

Yes, for weekend marathon sex.

I have lived in my current city for over 20 years. I have a few fuckbuddies I met way back then and we STILL get together now and then and fuck. I have an apartment in another country and have fuck buddies there, too.

I couldn't imagine anything more ordinary, yet some of you seem to feel such arrangements are very extraordinary, in a good way or bad way. Whatever.

I do think that there is a spectrum of Fuckbuddism.

There are those where it's just sex. Others have an emotional attachment. Others, one craves a deeper relationship etc.

Do you have any interest in a long term relationship with anyone, considering how old you are now R51? I always wonder what the long term goal is of someone who fucks around a lot

Hookers and Instahos are not considered fuck buddies, you cosmopolitan twit @R51.

My fuckbuddy currently has a boyfriend, but I know that once he's single again, we'll be hard at it again.

R53 I am R51. I had a 10 year relationship in this location. It was exclusive for a few years and then open and I took up again with some fuck buddies I knew before. I don't think I want another relation. The 10 year came after other relationships, each of a few years. I am not the whore of Babylon just because I have some fuckbuddies in my dotage. Some I only see 1x a month. Some I only see 4x a year! I'd say I was a quite slutty 30-40 yo.

R54 I'm not paying. Are you? I was able to keep fuck buddies after 50 because I don't mind fucking guys my age! We kind of got old together. Lots of guys stop fucking their age in their 40s. I see FBs around - I knew when they were young studs, now they are middle age or mature and lie about their age and won't fuck their contemporaries. Needless to say, they are no longer my fuckbuddies. They are the ones who need to start hiring the whores in their 50s, 60s. Delusion. It will get them hurt, or killed. I've seen it happen. MURDER.

I've always enjoyed excellent relations with my fuckbuddies. I find that their availability may be erratic, they are always there.

I had a regular fuck buddy for about eight years. He was a firefighter, I a cop. We met via Craigslist and discovered that we casually knew each other professionally. We were both into the same fetish. Both of us were heterosexually married. We saw each other at either his place or mine every couple of months, and it never got old. The funny thing was, we'd see each other at fires or accidents to which we'd mutually responded, and it was always just casual recognition—"Hi." "How's it going?"

He moved up in his profession and got a job with the US Forest Service, transferring out of the area a few years ago. If you're reading this, Mark, I miss ya!

—R

Do your wives know about your special friendship R59?

Not if he's a Republican senator.

Well, he did say he was a cop and they tend to be Trumpers.

[quote]Do your wives know about your special friendship [R59]?

Nope.

[quote]Well, he did say he was a cop and they tend to be Trumpers.

Even though this happened before Trump, we were both outspoken liberals. Politically, neither one of us was popular in that regard in our respective departments.

[quote] Full disclosure: He and I met on Scruff, and then really clicked at our first encounter. So don't dismiss the apps out of hand.

I think only old people who came out in the 60s and 70s and cruised parks and restrooms look down on apps. I've never had a boyfriend I didn't meet on an app, and my last relationship lasted 4 years.

I'm in a fuckbuddy situation right now and I think we might even upgrade to dating. He's filming so he gets tested literally every day. We meet once a week, well this week we met twice already.

I think men cheating on their wives with other guys are the most despicable people around. Grow some fucking balls and be free and stop treating your partner like garbage, this isn't Iran, you have no excuse to be like this.

r65 has stated her boundaries. I love how she inflicts her Moral Majority views on others without having a clue as to circumstances.

Maybe you should inform your wives that their entire marriages are built on a lie.

The cop said he WAS married, not currently married

If he started when he WAS married it's still selfish.

Maybe it was in 1972 in Oklahoma or something like that. Unacceptable now, understandable then

Actually Craigslist suggests it was in modern times, so yeah, it's unacceptable

Seriously are all cops sleazy hypocritical douchebags?

God, what sanctimonious saps!

[quote] so yeah, it's unacceptable

What does that even mean? So unacceptable that you're run to your rooftop and scream out, "Mary!"

Op, these usually end in murder

[quote] has stated her boundaries. I love how she inflicts her Moral Majority views on others without having a clue as to circumstances.

Please tell me what circumstances in 2020 justifies a person living in America to get married to a woman and lie to his teeth?

You're just a psychopath if you think there's any justification for that, you deserve to be outed by your wives on social media, I've seen this before and it is entertaining.

I miss my fuckbuddy.

R77 That's the thing with fuckbuddies. They wax and wane. But the happy memories of assignations past and future rendezvous are exciting.

COVID has really played hell with my ability of see mine. He wanted to hang out, together, in daylight a few months ago, but didn't want me back to his place. Then a week or two ago, he was around the corner from my apartment picking up food and sent me a text saying "Wanna make out while I wait?" so we sat doing that for fifteen minutes while they got his order together.

If he wasn't a good soul, it would probably annoy me, but he is, so...

That's sweet R79.

I think with the advances in testing and vaccines you should be riding him again, soon enough.

When, at what point, does a fuckbuddy become someone you're dating, or a bf?

never. that's when you fuck it up.

The problem is one often falls emotionally for the other and things fall apart quickly

Have been in one, now, for about 4 + years. He is married. He asked me from the get-go to never call him or text him. Fine. So it's all pretty much whenever HE wants to have sex. But on the other hand, if he calls me, and I don't feel like seeing him, I just don't answer. And I never explain why I don't answer. Just 'not available'. Period. The end. It has worked out fine and it keeps things interesting and fresh. We're not teenagers, and have no need to stay constantly online with each other, or sexting, or whatever. God forbid. I was seeing a couple other people for some periods of time, but that has stopped because of stupid things the two did and, well, Covid 19. If things continue to worsen with Covid, I won't even see my regular guy for a while. It's not looking good. But mutual, unspoken respect for each other's boundaries and lives is critical to making it work, I'd say.

Fucking a married man isn't really the same as having a fuck buddy.

Most of the time, a fb situation works perfectly if boundaries are stated and understood. However, every so often feelings get caught, boundaries must be explained again, and you cut them off from the D.

If you end up with someone who catches feelings, don't continue sleeping with them. Those bitches can go from a simple crush to full on stalker mode real fast.

[quote]you cut them off from the D.

Yeah, that's what I'm looking for, getting "cut off from the D." What a guy, r86.

[quote] Fucking a married man isn't really the same as having a fuck buddy.

Um, sure it can be

[quote] When, at what point, does a fuckbuddy become someone you're dating, or a bf?

Never. YOU might regard him as a boyfriend at some point, but he'll still be fucking someone else.

I have successfully managed to have 4 fuck buddies over the past few years and recently caught feelings, strong feelings, for one of them which has caused me tremendous heartache. It was my fault this happened, he did not lead me on, but now I cannot just be a fuck buddy with him and need to pretty much cut off all contact which is very difficult for me because he still wants to be friendly and continue to meet up sometimes.

I am trying to cut him out of my life completely and focusing on the non emotional pleasures of just having sex.

Oh gosh R90 that's so sad.

I really like one of my fuckbuddies, that I've had for 10 years now. He's had a couple of relationships, but they always fall apart, so I know that if I were to date him, it would go tits up, so I'm happy with the furtive 'up to much?' texts when he's single. We have amazing sex and I love him to bits, but will never tell him, ever.

Years ago, I had a FB I was falling for. I absolutely LOVED his calm personality and the sex was magical.

The problem was he was married to another man (before gay marriage was even legal) and he was a slut--so I knew there was be no romantic future for us.

At that time, I met another great guy, so I made the decision to stop seeing the first FB altogether. I am now married to the second guy,

The weird thing is, a few years back, I went to see a Bway show, and a few rows in front of me was that FB and his hubby. He didn't see me, but I suddenly got a wave of feelings come flooding into me...and I welcomed it.

[Quote] I am trying to cut him out of my life completely and focusing on the non emotional pleasures of just having sex.

That took me by surprise. I thought you were going to say the emotional pleasures of not having sex. Not judging.

R90. Still have other fuck buddies available, just will be very careful going forward, and yes always safe sex and regular STD testing for all of those pearl clutchers out there.

Is a fuckbuddy pretty much a gay thing? Should I sign as Rose?

Yes you should.

I don't know about others, but I had multiple fuckbuddies at the same time. I think that also differentiates them.

I am a married man and had another married fuck buddy for almost 15 years. We were exclusive so there was no danger of disease. We got together about once a month in a cheap motel. We were very sexually compatible. Fucking like fiends for a few hours then we would both go home to the wife and kids. We did manage to get out of town about once a year for a weekend. He died a few years back, miss him terribly at times. I know I will never replace him. Now I just settle for the occasional blow job from guys I meet on Scruff. I never see the same guy twice.

R97, how many bathhouse visits between FB visits?

Having had both single and married men as fuckbuddies, I've often thought your beautiful relationship with yours r97 was ideal for married men. I'm very happy for you that you had your friend.

I thought it was sweet too.

sex buddies are a way to reduce the cost nd risk of getting to know someone sexually, someone who would not normally e on your. menu. This is going to sound more cynical and sad to certain to people, that I experience it.

You can have a couple week to a couple years of "relations" with someone much poor than yourself, or much richer, or much dumber or much sarter. Or much better looking, or really quite a dog. If you are a goody two shoes you can have. relation with a wanton slut. and so on and so on. I was surprised the very divers pulling power I had in my 30s and 40s - the sweet spot. From circus carnies to jet setting suave European movers and shakers. About five years ago this stunning and very shady young north african would contact me in the middle of the night to come over to fuck. I was 50 ish and he was banned by my friends for being such a klepto when they fucked with him but I always went to his place. We have a couple years of great fun. He would never have been possible as a real boyfriend, nor I with him, so we had fuckbuddy rules and that was nice. It worked.

are you drunk?

You're a true piece of shit R47 for dragging your poor wife into your secret sex life, just divorce the poor woman and let her find someone that truly loves her.

Sorry that was for R97 who's still a sack of shit.

I've no huge problems with married fuckbuddies like I have with the gay married.

R102 good guess but no I just couldn't see well when I typed that!

You all know neither party in r97 were exclusive, right? Or maybe the whole post is just Brokeback Mountain fanfic.

You guys are sad. I was just telling you about my experience.. Your reaction is to shit on my memory. Must be hard going through life with such bitterness and hate.

Well said R108.

None of our business to pass judgement on your sexual preclivities. None of our business.

I think the the thing with having fuckbuddies is you can sample a wide range of tottie too. A muscle boy here, a twunk there, a daddy somewhere else, so meeting your diverse sexual needs.

R90 I dont meant to scold but have you ever thought to be direct with your crush, I mean FB, and tell him directly “no more.” That way he wouldn’t contact you and try to be friendly. If you told him truthfully, he might even be able to respect that more and definitely not contact you again.

I suggest this because I feel like I’m in the position of your fuckbuddy you describe. We met while I was on holiday and abroad and now wild coincidence has brought him to my home state. I thought we’d be seeing more of each other, but after our first reunion I’ve gotten the sense that he’s pulling back to protect his feelings. Since I went into this based on really amazing sex, I’d be fine if that’s the case, it would just be helpful to hear him say it so I can move on.

R90 here. He has gotten the message and we have left it that we will wait until after the new year and see where things stand. I mentioned he did nothing wrong and if I can figure out my feelings and accept what cannot be, he and I both would like to still meet from time to time, but not right now and he has been good so far this week about not texting. This is on me to figure out which I will try to do.

What a sad state of affairs.

I didn't know what a fuck buddy was the first time I fell hard for a guy.

But apparently that all I was.

R110, let me see if I'm understanding you. You want to break up with a FB because he likes you too much, presumably because you have "really amazing sex"? I would love to meet someone with whom I could have really amazing sex. The rest of it could work itself out. I really don't get it.

Do any of you do other stuff with your fuckbuddies, or just fuck?

I've been away on holiday with at least two of mine, and have been to social events.

Another one, it's just sex. He or I will send a booty text and that's it.

A fuck buddy is a totally open relationship with no romantic entanglements. Sometimes you can do other things outside of sex. That is the buddy part of it.

More FWB than FB. He lived pretty far away and, IMO, it was clearly NSA. (Sorry for all the acronyms.)

Anyway, he was coming to my town and I told him that I met someone and, basically, wanted to be monogamous with the new guy. FWB said that he had been seeing someone else the entire time we'd been FWB. He was *hurt* and wanted to hurt me. Really surprising & immature behavior.

We call them as we see them R108. Sorry if the truth hurts, perhaps you should retire to a safe space.

R118 — You really do seem to be a total asshole.

R90 / R111 good for you! I admire your directness and ownership of the predicament. I’d say that no matter which you choose, the way you present yourself, you’re going to end up alright.maybe not perfect, but alright. So I hope the pressure is off you as you ponder what to do.

R114, the sex is amazing, and he is a cutie. He would fit right into my life, as well as my husband’s (yes, I left out that complication), but rest assured, we wouldn’t be posting any shit like “This is how we throuple!” But we’re not the one extending the arm to keep us at length, he is. And I think that’s because he wants to stay fully emotionally committed to his partner, with whom he has an open relationship. My husband and I both understand and respect that, but don’t know that is exactly the case because he’s only seemingly slowly withdrawing.

I hope there will be no condemnations or pearl clutching over this drama, given this is a thread about fuckbuddies, but then again it’s DL. Either way, that’s the state of affairs at this time.

But the person who's lying about their sexuality and screwing around behind their spouse's back isn't an asshole?! God the moral and ethical twisting it takes to justify and excuse that is something that even Trump couldn't do.

Frau, begone!

I suppose the fact that a man would rather stay married to a woman than come out as a gay man shows how superior pussy is. If gay men support that, then so be it.

HA! Societal norms would have nothing to do with that...

Sorry a man would rather spend his life with a woman...

Sure, frau with huge, deformed areolas.

What's the difference between a Friend With Benefits and a Fuckbuddy?

FuckBuddy starts out with sex and stays mostly to sex, Friend with Benefits starts out as friends frist, overall not much of a difference.

Thank you for that a R128.

I'm definitely in the Fuckbuddy camp then.

Fuckbuddy: Someone with whom you strictly have sex. No friendship, no phone conversations, no hanging out together and talking about jobs, families, politics, etc. It's just a quick text ("Hey, free tonight?"), get together, fuck, and you're done. Rinse, repeat over however long (months, years?) that it's mutually convenient for both of you.

FWB: Someone with whom you have an actual friendship, meaning you actually like each other as people, know something about each other's lives, get together, hang out, go to the movies, the theater, dinner, maybe even travel together. But in addition to all of that, you also fuck, maybe not every time you see each other, perhaps only when it's convenient, but it's an ongoing part of your relationship and it works for both of you at least for the time being (i.e., until one of you chooses to pursue a permanent relationship with someone else).

Oh I'm back in the FWB camp now then lol

Just until some one gets the CLAP.

Has anyone ever eventually had a fuckbuddy turn into a bf or husband. I'm aware that we can't get knocked up like any scullery maid and force the hand of the master of the house.

It's not happened to me R133.

Mine are just my fuckbuddies with friendship attached.