Martha Stewart

If you ever saw her mother on Martha's old show, you'd know you'd have to be a tough bitch to survive that.

Speaking of which, Martha's daughter doesn't seem like a pushover either.

Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman's got to hold on to.

Gruff and crafty.

Yeah she's a tough bitch, a liberal though, even though a lot of people think she's a Republican. Not at all, she's a staunch Dem.

She might serve a respectable candlelight supper.

Even if she doesn't use Royal Doulton with the hand painted periwinkles. But then again, not everyone can do so.

She’s a hardened criminal who’s done time.

She hangs out with Snoop.

We haven't heard about this old cunt in a while!

Several years ago I was watching one of her shows where she was making a Christmas wreath. She was sitting outside on a picnic table making the wreath. Next to her was some QUEEN making a wreath too. The QUEEN had on work gloves while Martha made her wreath RAW without gloves.

Kmart blue light special, anyone?

She'll cut a bitch

OP, she is a gruff woman and that's a GOOD thing.

Not at all - If Martha was Mark we would all be praising his business acumen and toughness. Because she is a woman she is a cunt, gruff, and aloof.

Or because she's gruff, she's sort of iconic, R11. Stop being so damn offended over everything.

Do yourself a favor — go back and find the articles about her in Spy Magazine.

My favorite is how she put the chicks in a garbage bag and ran them over with her car.

Polish peasant. Don't fuck with her.

Martha as a model.

Stunning.

Martha as Betty Draper.

She's one tough Polack, that's for sure. Growing up in New Jersey as part of a big Polish family with modest means, and a no-nonsense mother, made her invincible to setbacks like a bitter divorce and the humiliation of going to prison.

She looked very stiff as a model

I admire her strive towards perfectionism.

In prison she made Mama Morton look Like 🧚 Tinkerbell.

[quote] She's kind of a gruff woman, isn't she? There's nothing too dainty about her.

Shut your mouth or I will come over there and stab you with a lovely hand carved, artisan crafted knife. Then I will carve you up and arrange you in my beautiful garden and turn you into compost

It will not be the first or the last time that I cut a bitch either. Jail does NOT scare me

She demands perfection and I think it's to be admired. I'm so jealous of and in love with her gay sidekick, Thomas Joseph.

[quote] Polish peasant. Don't fuck with her.

I can see her yanking potatoes on the farm and swilling glasses of vodka with the best of 'em.

I love her show with Snoop

Are they stoned here? I say yes. It just makes sense to get high before a food show, especially when you're Martha Stewart.

^She seems stoned to me.

Her professional perfectionist act is all for TV. The bitch is actually slovenly in her home life. Her daughter wrote in a book that she pees with the bathroom door open and she doesn't decorate for holidays. She has the lights turned off so kids don't ever come over on Halloween..

She really lets her weight go and she balloons to over 200lbs sometimes. She is only disciplined for TV and can put on the perfect New England housewife act. I don't think she is as disciplined or tough as Joan Crawford or Madonna. She was put in prison because of misogyny because in 2008 male bankers stole billions and no one got punished.

R28, more please! More more more!!!!

[quote] Her daughter wrote in a book that she pees with the bathroom door open and she doesn't decorate for holidays. She has the lights turned off so kids don't ever come over on Halloween..

This is hilarious.

Martha Stewart wasn't jailed because of her insider trading. She was jailed because she lied about it to the Feds.

She chose to end the appeals of her conviction because it was killing the value of her company.

I love everything about Martha. I'll give her credit, she will keep at something until she gets it perfect. Many of her recipes are family traditions now.

I don't care if she shits with the door open. She can do no wrong in my book.

In her daughters book she wrote that Martha has signs on all her door that guests have to take their shoes off but she said Martha's dogs "piss and shit all over her floors" . So any guests in Martha Stewart's house would have to walk on shitty and pissy rugs with their socked feet. She has 4 dogs so that's alot of shit and piss.

Her daughter also said that she had to wrap her own Christmas presents. Martha would hand them to her and say here wrap this but don't look inside. Her professional perfectionist persona is all an act. I'm sure on TV Martha would be all snotty about wrapping presents oh so perfectly and putting the perfect bow on them. But in real life she doesn't give a shit and can't be bothered.

[quote] She chose to end the appeals of her conviction because it was killing the value of her company

They put her in jail. So appealing would have been a moot point and would have just left her open for more private things about her being exposed

She didn't want to be like Johnny Depp. Everyone has forgotten about his marriage to Amber, but he's bringing it all up. All he's insuring is that the people who missed the drama the first time, get to find out all about him this time. The past is best left in the past. The old royal adage, Never complain, never explain is good advice for johnny and Martha. She's recovered and thrived. Him, that's to be determined. But he's becoming a mess to the studios. They don't like or need messy

The thing is, Martha can wrap a gift perfectly. Whether she chooses to do it in her private life is different.

Plus, the daughter us a useless and bitter cunt. That show she had with the fat frau was cringeworthy. She makes Melissa Rivers looks good.

R35, sounds like Martha's daughter is somewhat Christina Crawford-ish?

"Hey! Hey, slut!

I'm sending a letter to your parents! I'm telling 'em you're a whore!"

Just wait until the Alexis's kids write a book about her. Martha has nothing on her bitch of a daughter

I feel bad that Martha has such a cunt for a daughter

I like her more now that she’s dropped the “fine country lady” act and is letting her Polish thug peasant roots hang out. She’s more fun this way.

[quote] Not at all - If Martha was Mark we would all be praising his business acumen and toughness. Because she is a woman she is a cunt, gruff, and aloof.

If she’d married a rich man (or multiple), wore pretty clothes and sat on her ass all day; she would be a Datalounge icon.

I don’t like the fact that she’s WASP-passing.

Hey Martha, drop the “Stewart” and get a new stage name. I recommend Martha Moronstromo.

I bet she would win in a fistfight against Rachael Ray.

^^^

"C" Fight! "C" Fight!

I think Rosie was the only person to visit her in prison.

I can't think of many negatives to say about Stewart. She is a great success, very gay-friendly, a liberal and caring individual and both a damn good cook and decorator to boot. I like her. There are far more worthy targets of negativity (particularly these days, good grief...).

Fat old bulldyke

The Martha you see on TV is a far cry from the real Martha in private. She's a well known bigot and racist. Prone to calling Hispanics "wetbacks", to their faces no less, when she gets mad at them. No, she's not a dainty person. She's a nasty low class broad with money.

If you look at Martha in the OP's photo she really does look just like common Appalachia trailer trash. She's got those inbred looking squinty eyes and the flat round face. She looks like she was raised in a holler outside Charlottesville, WV.

Wow the gay sidekick is hot I want him to wreck my insides. She looks good when all made up for TV though.

Tori Spelling said Martha basically ignored her when the cameras stopped rolling when she was a guest on her show.

R50 bleughh when he opens his mouth Judy Garlands purse falls out. Pass

[quote] Tori Spelling said Martha basically ignored her when the cameras stopped rolling

As one should when it comes to Tori Spelling.

Yes, the sidekick is handsome, but dear God when he speaks it's the biggest dick wilter ever.

[quote] her Polish thug peasant roots hang out

This is probably how Martha would look like if her family had never emigrated from Poland.

I almost worked for her when I didn’t get the job my friends said you dodged a bullet. The turnover rate at her company is very high.

I remember reading somewhere, maybe in her potboiler bio Just Desserts, that she would say “look at my gay boys!” and make mincing gestures when gay men on her staff were around. She rose to fame partially through theft, nicking ideas from other crafters and cooks. That was a long time ago; maybe jail mellowed her her.

She was close buddies with Babs.....still?

(they were 'insider-trading' buddies in the 1990s but only Martha got popped for it!)

In prison her nick name was, "Whisker Biscuit."

R48 where on earth?

People like r48 get upset when someone says they like some celebrity they want to bash, so they invent heinous things the celebrity has supposedly done to upset the person who just praised them.

In longer threads this will escalate into a hilarious string of lies.

You place a premium on "daintiness," OP? Are you my grandmother?

I like how Martha handles such a strongly obnoxious character such as Wendy Williams. Entertaining to see how these two navigate one another.

[R49] there’s no such place as Charlottesville WVa. Charlottesville is in Virginia and is the home of UVA and Monticello. It’s not hillbilly holler. MS looks more Slav than Anglo redneck anyway.

She's a tough broad, and good on her. Truly a self-made success.

Martha Stewart is taller than Alex Trebek, and therefore superior to him.

r48 that is not true. She has been portrayed as a mean racist cunt but when people actually investigate these stories they find them false (there was one about an incident where Martha verbally assaulted a worker for a greenhouse - but when they called the greenhouse they found out the story was completely made up).

Ok, now that Wendy, Rosie and Rachael have all been mentioned, it's trivia time. Today Wendy Williams and Rachael Ray use the same double studio that was used by Rosie and Martha in the 90s. Wendy has Rosie's old studio and Rachael occupies Martha's.

r67 Ruth, I always enjoy your contributions. You know things I'm glad you share with us. I'm glad you didn't listen to that cunt who said he was tired of your "Ruth Madoff shtick." Long may you run.

Martha is more MASCULINE than that QUEEN Thomas Joseph.

When she lived in CT and on her way "up" there were a many, many stories of people who had been wronged by her. She allegedly would raid shops for stuff she wanted to use on her shows - and be mentioned on her show but then would never pay the shopkeepers. A photographer made a scheduled visit to her Turkey Hill home and had to bring her baby (in a car seat). Martha kept her waiting at the gate and then told her the baby wasn't welcome. She screwed her landscaper out of $56,000. The Adams House on Long Lots Road launched her magazine and she used the church rectory across the street for an event - the church never got paid for the space as agreed to. The stories go on and on. Anyone you met in the area in business had a story about Martha. What was impressive was her taking the art of homemaking and making it into a one-time billion dollar business. And her earlier shows filmed at Turkey Hill - it didn't matter what was being demonstrated - she could do it inside or outside. She is like the bitch on a soap - you want to hate her and you do, but you can't look away.

Sorry - not the rectory - the church hall

I give her credit for being driven, doing time and building an empire out of nothing. I’m always going to be a fan. She’s no more or less a sociopath than people I work with.

Thomas Joseph, however, is totally adorable, r69. I wonder whether I could say the same about you. Or whether I'd like your ganache.

I guess you never read the articles years ago when she was still living in the Turkey Hill Rd. house. A neighbor was having some work done and Martha was incensed at all the commotion. When an Hispanic worker dared to pull his truck into her driveway to back out and head the other way she ran out cursing and screaming at him saying "I'm sick and fucking tired of all you fucking wetbacks causing all this commotion and driving on my property". The driver was interviewed by several sources. But it now appears all of those reports have been scrubbed from the internet. I'm sure Martha's people made sure of that.

At least Martha Stewart doesn't FAWN over her FAGGOTS the CHUBBY CONTESSA does.

the WAY the CHUBBY CONTESSA does.

Go back to bed r75

The gardener is no slouch either - Ryan

At least the gay boys he appear with Martha don't seem so bitchy compared to the ones who appeared on the Barefoot Contessa.

It's also well known (and has been repeatedly reported by friends) that Martha ruined her marriage because she was fucking around on her husband, who by all reports was and is a good man.

One of her own brothers has commented in the past about what a bitch she is.

the gay boys THAT appear with Martha.

Some of her lightness and humor left after the prison saga. I think she's bitter about that, esp. since it was politically motivated.

I've met her twice, had lunch with her and her team at her office, and have met Thomas Joseph and Kevin Sharkey, two of her gay boys. Martha is kind, articulate, and exactly the same on and off camera. Thomas was nice and is incredibly cute. Kevin is the opposite.

“Stewart, Martha. Unpleasant personality. Said to have a taste for much younger men. Bisexual, and likes group sex. Tax-dodger. Inside trader.”

Martha likes some BBC too.

[quote]the gay boys THAT appear with Martha.

r81 The gay boys WHO appear with Martha.

Warm-up comedian Joey Kola opened for Rosie, Martha and now Rachel.

Cybill Shepard was the perfect actress to play her in terms of looks and bitchiness.

R80 Andy was fucking Martha's assistant Robin while they were married, so I don't think he can claim moral high ground re: screwing around.

Her office used to be in one of my favorite big buildings in Manhattan, the Starrett Lehigh Building. It's a monster of a building.

She scares me to death...reminds me of Beverly Sutphin!

Thomas Joseph is Fabulous!

We would love to scream and dish with her!

Martha Inc full movie is on YouTube - here's a little snippet. 00:14 mark - you just know this is her to a T - hahaha

[quote] Cybill Shepard was the perfect actress to play her in terms of looks and bitchiness.

That was a hilarious movie! The only time I liked Cybill in anything.

All of the gossip is fun, she might be monster behind the scenes but who cares? He work speaks for itself. Personally, I prefer her snobby "fine country lady" act more than the new more "accessible" Martha. I understand that she has to dumb things down for today's audiences, but was much more interesting before.

Excuse the typos!

A lot of her recipes have mediocre or low review ratings. I wonder why because some of them sound good? Is Rachael Ray using bots to downvote her recipes?

Ever see the "Whatever, Martha!" show with her daughter and friend talking shit about Martha as they watch random segments from her show? Amusing. Full episodes on YouTube.

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Yes, r98. It always cracked me up that Alexis married at City Hall in a grey suit. I mean, your mother is Mothra Stewart - you could have the prettiest wedding possible. But that’s the way it goes.

R99, Martha is looking a little hefty there.

Don't like her, too many Eastern Europeans in the West anyways.

R102 As a gay son (Born in the good ol USA), loved immensely and supported actively by my Eastern European immigrant family--I am offended!! I realize this is also the top 1% of family situations (that's even being generous) and I am very lucky for this!!

Martha was a brilliant business woman, especially pertaining to her daily 1990s television show. What the show actually was - a daily half hour commercial promoting all the cookware, appliances, and ingredients she used, etc. Her magazine tied into this scheme as well. The manufacturers of all the shit she used on her show and likewise advertised in her magazine paid for it all. Therefore, all the money she made via the show and the magazine was straight profit for her - she didn't pay for the show's production - THEY DID!

Okay, um, I hate typing this, but... does Thomas Joseph have to wear ankle weights so he doesn't just float away? An old expression, but that man is light in his loafers.

From the moment he starts speaking in that video for a hybrid chocolate ganache tart? Gurl!

If I had an emotional support dog, r105, I'd sic him on your ass. Because that's about what you deserve, you fucking cunt.

And my emotional support dog would be a German Shepherd.

[quote]The gardener is no slouch either - Ryan

He's no P. Allen Bottom.

I like her persona, but I wouldn't want to work for her. I swear by her mahogany fried chicken. Whenever I make it, I get rave reviews.

On the topic of her daughter trash-talking her, didn't Martha steal the daughter's boyfriend? Did the trash-talking happen before or after?

I met her once, at Macy’s. She was very nice, she asked me if I liked to bake.

I like her voice. She narrates her own audiobook, The Martha Rules.

I bet her pussy has teeth

R73- I make Almond Torte and it's FABULOUS!

I’m embarrassed to say this, but Martha popped my cherry on cooking classic holiday dishes. She taught me how to do an excellent and unforgettable Thanksgiving Turkey and Stuffing. My first turkey was pretty as a picture, I’ve never cooked a more beautiful bird than that very first one, but they always come out looking incredible and tasting wonderful too. She got me into collecting dishes, and yellow-ware in particular. Also some American folk craft work too.

She taught me about reinventing Americana furnishings and decor, a post-modern approach to designing your home (thom filicia helped me expand this idea even further). She also taught me how to tightly fold a fitted sheet — well, I kind of get this, it’s still very tricky to execute, but she indeed cracked the code on a neatly folded fitted sheet. She can do this fold!!!! I’ve watched her do it!!!

Basically, she reminded a whole generation of working women (who never experienced domestic life) that they could actually be bitchy by outdoing each other in the domestic/entertaining arena. Women cunting on each other through their one-ups is an art form that goes back thousands of years. This was a cultural phenomenon whereby women created their own caste system using the domestic arts. The caste you are born in is reflected in your domestic skills. It is very rare for a woman to move up in the caste without proving her superior domestic and hostessing skills. Martha understood this feminine caste system, and showed women ways to assert their dominance over other women.

You had me until your last paragraph R113. She’s a genius because she reminded women of how to assert dominance over other women?

I’ve heard more than once that her recipes are not the most dependable. Ina’s are, so are Nigella’s, or so I’ve heard. Every one of Ina’s recipes I’ve tried has turned out great. Never tried Mar-Mar’s.

[quote]Her daughter also said that she had to wrap her own Christmas presents. Martha would hand them to her and say here wrap this but don't look inside.

That's my gal!

Whatever, Martha (the show with Alexis and her friend bashing Martha) is pretty entertaining. The are quite the duo—Alexis is an icy, withholding and sarcastic, while her sidekick is warm, loud and effusive. Well, they *were* quite the duo. Apparently they had an ugly falling out but were bound by a book deal and had to do media appearances together. It got pretty awkward...

I adore Martha. The daughter is a cunt, and unfortunately will not be able to continue the Martha brand.

I love Alexis because she is a cunt.

Alexis didn't earn her cuntdom. She's a lucky bitch.

^^^ Yeah, well, SOME of us are entirely self-made women!

Sorry Melissa, you may be rich but you are fug! Time for another procedure.

R108, the trash-talking is done rather tongue-in-cheek. I recall that on one episode of the show, Martha's daughter somehow got on the topic of people bad mouthing her mother. She and her friend went back and forth about the issue, and then Alexis gave a light-hearted warning to the public at large by saying "Be careful what you say to me about my mother. I'll have to beat you up!"

She's a Polak from New jersey. What the fuck can you expect?

Jacs Halt, from the Aussie prison drama Wentworth was based on Martha.

The whole Martha/Snoop Dog association greatly reduced her image in my opinion. Appearing on low brow celebrity roasts with everyone talking like drunk sailors didn't help either. Whoever made the decision for her to start doing that, I'm sure to make her more attractive to the lower classes, was a fool. All it did was make her look like common white trash who'd lucked into some money. Little more than a lotto winner.

R106, T-R-I-G-G-E-R-E-D. Beware.

I'd love a PBS program where cooking show/lifestyle hosts arrive, "unannounced" at another's home for a p-a-r-t-y!!!!

For example, P. Allen Smith sees an airport van moving up his driveway and (gasp! get the smelling salts!) tumbling out in emasse, - trying to keep from laughing, but a little worse for the Lydia-provided wine - are Martha Stewart, Lydia Bastianich, Ming, Chris Kimball, Joanne Weir, and Thomas Joseph (MB's faithful companion).

Hilarity, cooking, uprooting fresh veg from Allen's many beds o' greens, more wine, furniture moving, table setting, wine, arguing (w Kimball being kicked out onto the porch to eat alone) ensues.

Limited run series.

[quote]The driver was interviewed by several sources. But it now appears all of those reports have been scrubbed from the internet. I'm sure Martha's people made sure of that.

Doubtful it was true. That great now-deleted thread of things that had been wiped from the internet proved that things mostly AREN'T completely wiped.

And you'll remember the prosecutor at her trial (James Comey, oddly enough) tried to attack her character, but was infamously unable to find anything more than her complaint about the Merrill Lynch hold music. No harassment, no racist threats, just a diva complaint about being on hold.

That's enough to make her a DL Cunt Icon.

pollack

R129 is fondly thinking of his favorite fish.

Or is favorite director.

[quote]I met her once, at Macy’s. She was very nice, she asked me if I liked to bake.

She obviously noticed that you looked like you'd just smelled freshly-baked cookies.

No r114, she’s a genius because she taught women to get back in touch with their domestic roots, and to take fierce pride in their skill set.

The caste system is something women have done to themselves for eons. Sorry if my writing was unclear, I did a poor job. I don’t worship women tearing each down — but I DO worship a handmade cranberry wreath (created by piercing a cranberry with a toothpick, then carefully inserting the toothpick into your Joanne 18” foam wreath form) that will only last for a day after eight hours of labor. Any woman/man who has the determination to make one for so little enjoyment deserves to be elevated if only for their stoicism while crafting.

Watch that clip at R62 with Martha and Wendy Williams, you'll see how damn great she is at her job.

Watch how she conducts her self: warm engaging but she also keeps Williams at arm's length. It's fascinating.. She is so smooth.

Note how she asks questions of Wendy , how she keep things moving. She's suddenly host of the show rather than Williams.

I love how she deals with Williams for mentioning her age. She giggles and at the same time scolds. And adds: "I don't want to be my age". It's very cool. And watch how she changes the subject.

DL HOMOS could you be attracted to someone like Thomas Joseph? He's certainly cute but he does have a MAJOR GAY ACCENT.

I am, r135.

I was looking for dramatic examples of MS crafting projects that are sheer hell which require a PhD. I found this video which has an annoying voiceover, but there are a couple of gems in it....particularly about GOOP.

A middle-class Polish girl from NJ playing the society WASP and pulling it off.

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Martha Stewart **shakes head** always goin' over to coloreds....

....

r142 You know Snoop loves playing with those old white tits.

R143- NOT tits. Snoop loves playing with them old white TITTIES.

One year, she recommended using tulle for Christmas wrapping. Genius!

r145 Yes, Walmart will sell you 40 yards for $10.00.

I’m still chuckling over her making her daughter wrap the gifts she bought for her.

[quote]r19 She looked very stiff as a model

Now, you can just fucking fuck RIGHT off!

NO ONE wore hooded zebra print lounging pajamas or terry cloth ponchos like Martha!

R145, hopefully you can use it for toilet paper and clean that dirty hole.

[quote]r28 Her professional perfectionist act is all for TV. The bitch is actually slovenly in her home life. Her daughter wrote in a book that she pees with the bathroom door open and she doesn't decorate for holidays.

R149, R145 isn't Aaron Shcock.

I love Amy Sedaris mocking her when she's a guest - -

R152, that was actually funny

MARTHA: I don't live alone! I have five cats and three dogs, twenty five red canaries - -

AMY: (looks shocked) Oh! One of [italic]those[/italic] people. And who's your doctor?

^

^^ hahahahahahahaha............

This woman needs to run for office, why isn't she?

When I was a kid my mom had us make those cranberry wreaths for our front doors. It was a fun crafting activity and I felt so fancy making them.

I wouldn't fuck with Martha. She has hands hereditarily engineered for yanking turnips and rolling pierogies. I bet she could cut a bitch.

And she knows how to use a blowtorch.

And she'll plow a Chevy Suburban through your front door. Or was that Betty Broderick? Same difference....

Has Martha sucked Snoop's BBC?

A very smart, savvy, and successful bitch.

Cookware & Bakeware

Clothing

Gardening Tools & Products

Home Decor

We should all be such a bitch!

She has the face of a Polish peasant.

Martha looks fabulous @ age 77!

She made a remarkable comeback without skipping a beat. They loved her in prison, she was royalty. And she's still going strong.

Rachael Ray should be taking notes.

I met her about 20 years ago at a book signing and we chatted a bit - absolutely stunning in person then and dressed and coiffed so elegantly.

R166, I agree - she photographs well, but in person Martha is a stunning woman, especially for her age. She's had almost no cosmetic surgery but her skincare regimen budget could finance a small African country. But she truly is beautiful in person and of course carries herself beautifully.

And then there was that time Marcella Hazan appeared on Martha's show and contradicting poor Martha and bossing her around the kitchen.

[quote] She has the face of a Polish peasant.

The ethnic slurs weren't cute now were they funny the first 50 times they were posted. Can we give it rest.

[quote]r168 that time Marcella Hazan appeared on Martha's show, contradicting poor Martha and bossing her around

How did Marcella get out [italic]alive??

R168 That is the best Martha segment of all time. It's the only time I have ever seen Martha rattled. You can see she had great respect and admiration for Marcella...sort of in awe... but Marcella wasn't interested in doing a pleasant chatty TV show, she just wanted to cook and get the food out and wanted Martha out of the way.

Yeah, well who is dead?

[quote]She's had almost no cosmetic surgery but her skincare regimen budget could finance a small African country.

Way to rub it in.

What r33 and r104 said.

I was unemployed for a spell in the late 90s. I had, of course, heard of Stewart, but hadn't watched her "Living" show. Home during the day, I turned on the plug-in drug and was hooked from the first show I watched.

This is weird to try to describe but, watching her show, I felt flattered. I felt flattered because Stewart's demeanor and low calm voice conveyed that she took it as a matter of course that I lived an upper middle class life; that I'd have the time and desire to, create, say, a Halloween Wreath made of large orange, amber, and rust colored leaves and potpourri and placed on my door with little ghosts and goblins scattered within it.

"Living" was pure fraugasm porn and, oh, did I love it.

Could she have kicked Lauren Bacall's ass in a fight?

Della, you write well. I had a similar experienced, circa 1994-95. Martha calmed me and made me crave order and discipline.

"calmed me" perfectly describes her effect r176.

Her real aesthetic is nothing like what she sells. She's into contemporary everything.

Her nephew, Chris Herbert, is a lovely gay opera singer. I went to Yale with him.

For decades, I've had recurring dream/nightmares where I work for Martha. They're exhausting, stressful, delicious, and strangely erotic.

I love the way Martha dresses, especially when she's going out. Rarely wears a print.

[quote]r175 Could she have kicked Lauren Bacall's ass in a fight?

Yes, because Bacall was most often drunk.

Her High Point was 98% Kahlua...

[quote]I love the way Martha dresses, especially when she's going out. Rarely wears a print.

My favorite bitchy Martha line was when a guest (I think it was Amy Sedaris) on her show wearing a flouncy frilly dress and Martha commented: "I would look so ridiculous wearing that"

*was on her show

I loved when she used to have children assist her in crafting activities and she had a total Joan Crawford vibe of “mine is better than yours” when comparing her finished product to that of a seven year old.

"Martha does everything better. No matter what it may be, Martha does it better. Someone once told her that she went to Oingo Boingo for vacation. Martha's immediate response? OH! IIIIIIIII've been to Oingo Boingo FOUR TIME!"

And so it goes....

Martha is very competitive and a perfectionist. She had a bartender on her old show, who was demonstrating how to mix a drink with a shaker. She didn't get it a first and he wanted to move on. Martha was not having it- she insisted until she could do it herself.

For some reason I like the fact that Martha Stewart is NOT good at faking being cheerful. Like Paula Zahn-I couldn't stand her CONSTANT smiling and forced cheerfulness.

[quote]For some reason I like the fact that Martha Stewart is NOT good at faking being cheerful.

I agree. I like when her bitchy, bossy, snobby, perfectionist side is on display. For TV it's refreshing.

[quote] Martha is very competitive and a perfectionist.

Which is why that Marcella Hazan clip is hilarious. Marcella is like "who is this Ho and why is she trying to participate in my food demo?"

She's the type of gal who if you said Anal? She'd be like LET'S GO!

Marcella Hazan did the whole segment like she was dying for a cigarette. Love her.

I enjoy salivating while watching her baking episodes.

Martha and Sharon Patrick were an extraordinarily dynamic business duo. Money fell from the skies.

There was a segment where Marfa was making a croquembouche with Julia Child. Marfa just HAD to show up Julia.

[quote]Marcella Hazan did the whole segment like she was dying for a cigarette.

She probably was.

Marcella seemed senile on that ep. Martha was licking her ass

MARTHA SHTEWART!

"And for GOD'S sake, did I not ask for MERLOT?!"

[quote] This is weird to try to describe but, watching her show, I felt flattered. I felt flattered because Stewart's demeanor and low calm voice conveyed that she took it as a matter of course that I lived an upper middle class life; that I'd have the time and desire to, create, say, a Halloween Wreath made of large orange, amber, and rust colored leaves and potpourri and placed on my door with little ghosts and goblins scattered within it.

[quote] Della, you write well. I had a similar experienced, circa 1994-95. Martha calmed me and made me crave order and discipline.

She always reminds me of a very strict school teacher, who you love and respect. Because you understand that her push for greatness is how she shows love and respect.

Ina Garten has a very different demeanor but she has a similar calming affect.

I don't think Martha was trying to show up Julia- I remember that segment. She was one of her idols and was starstruck like anyone would be. Just like a young chef or cook might be with Martha today.

[quote] Martha was licking her ass

R197, Martha was showing deference, as one should when it comes to hosting a nearly 90-year old woman who is considered the class of Italian cuisine and is a guest on your show.

Martha has the eyes of a psychopath.

Marcella was only 80 when she filmed that- she just looked 90.

Her own kid hates her. Martha had to buy her a multi-million dollar co-op in Manhattan to shut her up.

Martha is an odious, crooked old bitch.

I'd suck off her gardener. But, that's what gardeners are for...

You have to admire a woman who can gleefully kill a chicken with her bare hands, disembowel it, stuff it, and then roast it.

^ That's how my great Grandma had to do it. Farm people.

Given insider knowledge, it's funny that others find Martha "calming".

As someone with ties to her, she is anything but.

Imperious, insecure (hence the perfection front), and inauthentic. When on, she is - or was - a fantastic actress, either in front of the camera or outside its purview interacting with the Little People, her fans.

Forgive me if I'm not stanning her. There's just so much one can see behind the camera - or closed doors - and remain true to themselves.

R208, I'd bet she could do that but now she just makes her underlings do it and then takes credit for it.

It is of the utmost importance to clean and store your tools to keep them in the best possible condition and for handy reference later.

Always found her sexy.

OP, you are clueless:

She is a self-made goddess

Does Martha's pussy stink?

She really looks like a crude old peasant.

But you see in dealing with me, the relatives didn't know that they were dealing with a staunch character and I tell you if there's anything worse than dealing with a staunch woman... S-T-A-U-N-C-H. There's nothing worse, I'm telling you.

....

She's looking very ugly now.

She has impeccable vaginal and anal hygiene, using only the finest artisan bidet, with water sourced from the Swiss Alps

He is gayer than a basket of kittens!

R210. Brent

Martha is so evil and badass she got R28 redtagged!

Martha Stewart is an insufferable Polish cleaning woman with slightly more ambition.