The strangest person you've ever had sex with

The Greys in the flying saucer with the anal probe and all. Just weird.

^ Minnie

A Greek flight attendant I met on a flight from Athens to London. He kept calling out "Mama, mama," while he fucked me.

A bloke who wanted me to piss in a wine glass so he could drink it while he bathed me. He would then rim me for an hour. He also wanted me to cane him hard and shit in his mouth. When he asked me and I refused he then said ‘ Well, I already have a Guardsman who will do that’.

He was a punter when I was selling it years ago. That kind of put me off him as a client. He wasn’t happy when I called it off.

He was something high up in the United Nations.

Bump to track if anyone describes me.

[quote] He was something high up in the United Nations.

That makes complete sense!

I federal agent. He was hot as fuck. Married. Identified as straight. Muscular as hell. And a total bottom. He came over a number of times, but, once, I pulled out a bottle of poppers which I bought on Amazon -- so they were legal of sorts -- and he freaked! He started screaming How dare I pull out a controlled substance in front of a federal agent, etc. I explained that they were legal, but he was having none of it. He even threatened to arrest me, but he was afraid I would out him. That was the last time I ever saw him. I admit his alpha agent shit scared the crap out of me at that moment. I've never seen anyone go into a rage like that.

A friend was taken home by a London bloke and his flat was entirely covered in clear plastic doilies. Even the stove was covered in a plastic sheet. He said they sat on the sofa, which naturally was also covered in clear plastic, and every tiny movement caused endless crinkley squeaking. He was trying to imagine what this bloke’s dust-phobic mother must have been like. They never got to sex, as it was so off-putting. It was a dainty English lower-middle class experience on steriods.

I ended up at a hoarder's apartment once after last call. I went to the bathroom and saw a snakeskin on the ground.

He said, "Oh yeah, I have a python around here somewhere."

It wasn't a euphemism, although he was hung like a horse.

LOL R9!

A guy was very aggressively kissing and grinding against me (in a bathhouse) and saying, "I want to be the best you've ever had!" over and over.

He was among the worst I'd ever had but I still think about that with a smile, even 20 years later

[quotes]saying, "I want to be the best you've ever had!" over and over.

Sounds like the poster Mrs Patrick Campbell.

I met a guy one night when I was in Columbus, OH. The next morning he yelled at me for knocking over his boxed Judy Garland Wizard of Oz Barbie. He kept it on his nightstand. He wouldn't cum because he said not cumming gave him some power Madonna had. He seemed fine at 2 AM when I was super drunk.

[quote]He wouldn't cum because he said not cumming gave him some power Madonna had.

He clearly needs to go over to Madge's place and give her a jizz top up!

Someone I met was taken home by a Hanna Barbera cartoonist. The whole place was smothered in cartoon wallpaper etc. He said that when the guy came he shouted Yubba-dubba-do. Only beaten by a Japanese man another friend took home who when he came spurted haiku: "Ah! Ah! Sunshine through thundercloud!"

I went home with a guy who had a very sterile, extremely air-conditioned apartment, He asked me to take a very cold shower with him. Then I found out he was an undertaker.

[quote] Perhaps he was preparing you for a viewing.

There's a young guy who works as an undertaker who visits our local gay bar. I don't know if he helps himself to the onsite cosmetics, but he looks utterly embalmed: his pale face has the wan, sheeny waxy look of a three-day old corpse.

Just as pedophiles and pederasts gravitate to school teaching, a psychiatrist told me that necrophiliacs gravitate to working in embalming. After all, who else would want the job. The thought of being fingered after death I think would be rather nice. Going out on a high so to speak.

My former boss was a gay, formal funeral director named David. He was from Arizona and in Arizona all funeral directors have to be licensed to sell real estate(plots). His claim to fame was that he once outbid Cindy McCain to win a large painting of a rooster.

I've had sex with a lot of guys. By a lot I mean over 100. The only one I could think of that would be interesting to write about was a guy who I thought was 100% straight and was in the process of getting divorced when we started to hand out. He didn't know I was gay, or maybe he did but it was never discussed. One day we were playing foosball at my house and after one game he said, out of the blue, that the loser of the next game would get fucked by the winner. I thought he was kidding. He lost (maybe intentionally) and without missing a beat he said to get the lube. He then pulled down his pants and underwear and got down on all fours and I fucked him. He didn't want his cock sucked or kissing, he just wanted to get fucked. From then when we got together I would fuck him, he didn't want to kiss, just to get fucked. We eventually sucked cock, but that was his limit. He still dated women and eventually remarried.

Always the ones who had very specific requests.

One wanted me to wear a white wife beater tank top and/or white undershirt with food stains on it. I just.....I get most fetishes but to be so specific.....lost me, mentally and sexually!

Oh, and mentioned elsewhere here before, but the dude that was very short, and told me in the midst of making out that he wanted to mount my shoulders and ride me like a horse. I was almost on board with putting him on my shoulders until I realized it wasn't just a fun size thing with him, but......rather, he wanted me to 'neigh' and other such things. I abruptly ended the evening.

After reading these responses, I am not sure if I need to get out more or not...

[quote] I've had sex with a lot of guys. By a lot I mean over 100.

That's a weekend for me!

The guy who had a kind of epileptic fit when he came. Suddenly he was like a giant benzadrined spider, limbs flailing everywhere. He almost took my eye out with a toe. "Oh that happens every time", he said afterwards. Thanks for the warning. I've had lovely sex with a spastic, and it was nothing like that.

I also remember the eighteen yer old who drove an ice cream van. He really delivered! He had the most delicious sweetest precum, which came in spurts at remarkably regular 5 minute intervals. He could do this all night. Ah youth! Another guy had precum that just flowed like a tap. Fabulous and unforgettable if you love being slimed from top to toe. And who doesn't.

One wanted me to wear a white wife beater tank top and/or white undershirt with food stains on it. When he came, he yelled out "Stellaaaaaa!"

Fixed it for you.

Someone I picked up in WeHo and took home with me to Santa Monica. I didn't mind giving him a ride home the next day, but he really didn't want to leave. I finally had to force him out, bribing him with cigarettes.

R24 Hahah

His initials are DJT. He was repulsive but I had to get pregnant so he would marry me. Now I just threaten to send his tax returns to Congress if he touches me.

and we have a winner

There was the shlubby nerd with a vampire fetish who wanted me to bite him during sex and I mean really bite him needless to say that didn't last long.

Trixie and the Bonnie Hunt lover

A gentlemen I met at the gym in NY.

I saw him naked and was intrigued. His bush covered his penis completely.

Hot body, great bottom and the one incher emerged while I was fucking him and he came an enormous load without touching himself. Very hot, we kept it up for years.

I dated a lad once and when we had sex he never said a word or made a sound. I could fuck him as hard as I like and he never made a peep.

One time I was banging him harder than a Salvation Army drum and he was laying there not making a sound, I was wondering if he had died, so I said "Are you ok?" And he said he was fine and he was enjoying it, so I said "Well you could show some appreciation!" That was the last time I fucked him. He was very odd. Bizarrely we had exactly the same birthday too.

Hubby and I picked up a waiter once and took him back to our place. He was a great kisser, good body, but he was probably two inches completely hard. Fine, just go with it, so I started to play with his ass. He stopped me saying that he wasn't a bottom. I was like WTF?

I had sex with a college guy who walked with a limp.

My first boyfriend and I took home a barman once for a 3 way. His nickname we discovered later was Pissing Tommy.

Anyway, we get home, have great sex, fall asleep. Wake up in the morning to a pool and I mean a pool of urine soaking the bed.

We discovered the hard way, where he got his nickname from.

[quote]"Well you could show some appreciation!"

Perhaps he was a philosopher.

Don't ask.

Don't ask me, either.

I mentioned the thread to a friend and he said a rentboy told him that one client made him get on fours, placed a sheepskin over him, and asked him to make baa-ing noises while he got fucked.

Client sounds like a New Zealander.

When I was about 20 I had a major crush on a carpenter named Dan who was in his early 30s. We'd drive up into the hills in his Mustang and drink beer. Then we'd make out—I guess you could call it. Dan was very into kissing, which suited me fine, but he wasn't into sex, [italic]per se.[/italic] No BJs or butt-fuckery. We'd lay a blanket on the ground, lie down, and get naked from the waist down. Then I'd jack him off with my right hand while inserting my left middle finger up his butt. After he'd cum, he'd have another beer, then do the same thing to me. It was nice, but I could have done without the finger-up-the-butt thing. This went on about once a week for over a year, and the moves were always exactly the same.

So why did I put up with it? I was in [italic]luhhvvve.[/italic] And he did have a really nice ass.

I’m wondering how stranger the responses would be if this was a predominately Brit or German forum.

Tom Cruise. He was jumping up and down the couch the whole time with a wide grin on his face.

Kory Desoto

MY first boyfriend...right out of the Marines in the 70's - we also never had sex...just made out a lot and we actually slept together WITH OUR CLOTHES ON...I'm guessing he's a woman now (seriously)

[quote] rather, he wanted me to 'neigh'

And this is why one should never read DL at work

I used to hookup with a guy (initially via Craigslist). All I wanted was to suck off a hot straight guy. This guy had an incredible body, giant dick - just what I wanted. He asked if, when he came over, I'd keep it dark, and he would be wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap. Ooookay, sure. So, he did. I sucked him off, it was just what I wanted. He asked if it could be a regular thing. Sure! Each time, same thing - door unlocked, dark apartment, him with sunglasses/baseball cap. After a few times, I could tell he looked somewhat familiar. I finally figured out it was a sexy TV newscaster from our station - married with several kids, and always at big city events, etc. Sadly he transferred to an even larger market. I've emailed him maybe twice the last few years to see if he was ever back in town, but no response. I've watched him a few times on his current station - still damn hot.

One drunken night I went home with a cute twink. When we were getting ready to fuck he said "do it hard and call me fairy boy really mean the whole time." I think I called him that once at first, and then he also just kept reminding me to call him that. I couldn't keep it up - the name calling, as well as my dick. So, I had to ask him to stop. Very strange guy.

I met this Hispanic guy in Central Park who looked like he could have been cast in the early "Latino Fan Club" movies: Tall, dark, shaggy beard, and rather skinny. He just started chatting me up as I sat on a bench near the reservoir and said he wanted to get together with me. I could tell he had some type of learning disability: not mentally ill or anything like that, but slow and child-like and enthusiastic about wanting to get together. We went to my place and he wanted to kiss before we took off our clothes. I could tell he was nervous but wanted to please me (like an anxious, overly happy child would), and before he began to strip, warned me that he was very well endowed but wouldn't try to fuck me because he was scared of hurting me internally. He said he just liked to get sucked very slowly, but to be careful of his foreskin because the glans was very tight around his head and it hurt him if it was pulled on too fast or too tightly. Indeed, he was massive (possibly 12'), and his foreskin was as he described it to be. He laid on top of me as his dick got fully hard and grinded himself on my leg and chest, then turned over and reminded me to be gentle as I went down on him. It was very sweet the way he just fawned on me for the way I engulfed him, patting my hair and telling me how beautiful I was. Even though he was huge, there was something about the way his cock was shaped that it made it easy to deep throat him which turned him on even more.

After he came, he just held onto me for an hour but said he had to be home by 10. I had a feeling he may have been in a shelter. He said his phone wasn't working and he didn't know when he could afford to get another one, and wished that there was a way for us to keep in touch. I saw him about a year later on the train panhandling, but as the train was very crowded, he didn't notice me, and as I was with a friend, I didn't want to have to explain who he was and how we had met. I basically had mixed reactions to the situation, having thought that he was being sincere, but also afraid that he was just looking for someone to crash with, and in New York, we have enough issues without having to worry about how to get rid of a hanger-on who doesn't want to go away. I still would jerk off on occasion thinking about the one hot experience I had with him, and hoped that he was OK.

", not ', for R48. I'm not that talented!

What market is your news guy now in, R46?

please say NYC and Lonnie Quinn

[quote]What market is your news guy now in, [R46]?

And was he into fisting?

Just asking for a friend.

R47 reminds me of a friend’s lookup with an asian boy, who provided his address online and said the door would be open. So my friend drives up to this substantial house in the middle of the night, front door wide open, and wanders around in the dark, goes upstairs, and in one of the bedrooms finds the guy lying face down naked like a murder scene. Except he was waiting to be fucked. Is totally silent throughout, so could well have been a corpse if he hadn’t been so warm.

A couple micropenises. That's all.

R48, that is the most depressing story I have read in a long time. I wonder how you can get aroused while remembering that guy, because what you have written about the little peek that you got into his life has brought tears to my eyes. What a terribly sad situation 😭

Great sex with an 83 year old guy, former lumberjack. Still muscled; fucked like a rabbit.

Gross fat guy, tiniest lil cock, forced me to make eye contact as he came by holding my face, and whooped the loudest, most ridiculous out of control cringey orgasm bellow for way too long... yuck! Lol

Why were you hooking up with him?

a girl’s gotta eat, r58.

I’d want it to be at the Ritz after that!

[quote]A bloke who wanted me to piss in a wine glass so he could drink it while he bathed me. He would then rim me for an hour. He also wanted me to cane him hard and shit in his mouth. When he asked me and I refused he then said ‘ Well, I already have a Guardsman who will do that’.

[quote]He was a punter when I was selling it years ago. That kind of put me off him as a client. He wasn’t happy when I called it off.

[quote]He was something high up in the United Nations.

And which country was he from?

An Israeli who was a hardcore racist and couldn't stop complaining about the Arabs and Palestinians.

Necrophiliac hookup at a bathhouse wanted me to remain as still as possible.

An older guy who I sucked off a few times when I was in my teens. He was around 50, I think - but looked a little older. He was also a smoker, asthmatic, obese, and had probably the smallest cock I've ever had in my mouth. He also had an oxygen tank in his living room, although (thankfully) he never needed to use it when I was visiting. He was a sweet guy, I guess. But Jesus Christ, I look back at that period with a strange revulsion and puzzlement. He wasn't remotely attractive, and for the life of me I can't imagine why I kept going back or what I thought I was getting out of it.

At least it imbued me with a sense of compassion for those who do foolish and ill-advised things when they're horny.

Back in the Yahoo chat room days, I chatted with a really frum guy from Ocean Parkway. Really frum.

He invited me to his home for sex. I thought it would be transgressive and hot. Well, it was transgressive, alright. But not in any way hot. Just so not hot.

DAAAAT's DA SUCK JOB

(yes, that was me it happened to)

I went to JERSEY with this hot guy I knew on and off, one Sunday afternoon because he wanted me to see “his place”....I reluctantly went because he was insistent. Long story short, we were fooling around on his bed when a mentally challenged relative (cousin, uncle, I dunno) threw the door open, screaming, and attacked me ....thinking I was beating the guy up. the guy was humiliated...and I was freaked OUT

20 yrs ago when I used to drive to gay bar I.n Venice on Main Street I stopped by the beach before going home. It was dark not pitch black out I met guy . He was very attractive had sort of a collegiate look with a V-neck sweater and khakis we started talking for about an hour I invited him back to my place when I open the door to my place it was all filled with smoke I realized I left my oven on I rushed made sure there was no fire. I turned around I had turned on all my lights I looked at that guy and noticed that he had grime all over him .he was homeless. I made the excuse of the oven etc. and he said he would get a ride back to the beach .well I saw him for another month or two living in the houses across from me that hadbeen abandoned because they were going to build a new wing to the hospital down the street .he would be coming in and out of the house it’s like it was no big deal. Never said hello

Hooked up with a hot, clean cut, college guy in his hotel room after a night of clubbing. He was blowing me in the bed and I felt that incredible urge to pee (we were drinking beer all night). I told him I have to pee. He said, "go ahead." I said, "okay, I'll be right back." He held me down as I was getting up and repeated, "go ahead." I finally got what he was getting at. I chuckled and told him I REALLY had to pee. He said, "just go" and I did. It was one of those epic pisses where you stand at the toilet emptying your bladder, pause for a beat, then release yet another stream. He never took my dick out of his mouth and didn't spill a drop. I stayed the night and went to breakfast with him in the morning. Cutest and nicest dude ever. It goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover.

Ewwwwww @ R69.

Oh I almost forgot this one. So a few years back around 2009 I was downscaling and I moved out rented my house out got apartment. The cable guy came one day very very hot Latino. He did not say much. As he was leaving I gave my number and said stop by sometime we will get a drink I never thought he would respond. Five minutes later I got a call . He briefly said can I come back? Well he wanted to suck me . But then he licked up my cum on my stomach which grossed me out

R71 Yuck! Don't ruin the cable guy fantasy for us!

R67 That's funny.

R69 ‘s story is very hot.

What is hot about drinking piss?

My grandpa

Almost nothing interesting except... the one guy who I met at a bar, tall, dark, very good-looking, wasn't sure why he'd be so interested in me. We went back to my place and I told him to get comfortable and I'd get us something to drink or smoke. Left the room. When I came back, he'd taken his prosthetic leg off. It was resting on the floor. I didn't behave as well as I should have, perhaps -- I just found it so odd that I couldn't get aroused. We ended up just talking for a while ( he lost the leg in a train accident) and he left.

The handsome, bearded Canadian man who took me home from the Toolbox in Toronto, made out with me and then....told me his fetish was to ride piggyback on another man's back.

The guy who wanted me to wear stained white T-shirts and stained (!) tighty whities to our second fuck session.

The hot older man who, in the midst of fucking me, kept saying, "Woo, I wish you had tits!"

Oh and this one . So los ang had Afamous male hooker bar. I met a real New York guido. Brought him back home. We are both nude he was so hot . Like a gangster . Black greased back hair. But in bed suddenly he covers his chess like he has breasts and whines like a woman. Oh god oh god I want your cock. I thought he was joking he started talking like a girl like a little girl almost it was such a turn off I had to just end it of course I still had to pay it was really freaky

OMG R7 got to fuck Stan Smith! I am SO envious!

Can some translate R79 into English?

A 6’8” Ukrainian man. Every time I smell The cologne cool water I think of him.

You sound really vain, R77.

R1, I dated someone who was in cos-playing that whole scenario in the “bedroom” (a flying saucer, when the mood struck).

It was funny AF. We had so much fun doing that, because we couldn’t stop laughing, yet we’re intent on the follow through, because we became highly creative.

Good times. Great, actually. And also, my weirdest person to date, as well as simultaneously, the most awesome.

Weird can be good.

I met this incredible "competitive bodybuilder, straight escort -personal trainer" on line one night after moving to new city. We had a GREAT hookup (I have a foot fetish and his feet are amazing). I called him again a couple weeks later to come over. He said,along with the foot worship, If I could cross dress, he could get hard enough to fuck me. I have NEVER cross-dressed, never thought about it, never entered my mind. I'm told I'm handsome, I'm masculine and hit gym regularly. BUT, I did ! He fucked the hell outta me and stayed till 12 noon the next day. Now this is our lil 'routine' and we've become friends outside of 'business'.

Hot, R85!

A Hasidic Jew named Ronnie at the Russian Baths on 10th st.

He was a handsome 40-something and while we made out intensely he suddenly pushed me away saying I was Satan.

[quote]An Israeli who was a hardcore racist and couldn't stop complaining about the Arabs and Palestinians.

Redundant.

My grandpa and four of his food stamp friends.

[quote] He was a handsome 40-something and while we made out intensely he suddenly pushed me away saying I was Satan.

Ooh, been there a few times (metaphorically speaking).

Blew a beautiful Latino guy who got very guilty after and told me I was a sinner. Then a few minutes later he wanted it again. LOL!

While out for a bike red one day, I met an extremely good-looking young man of around 25, sitting on a low wall. In chatting him up, it was quite apparent that young Mark had an extremely low intellect. He wasn't full-on retarded, but was able to live by himself in the community and hold down a job at Target. He looked like a masculine combination of Martin Milner and a young Glen Campbell. He didn't consider himself to be gay, but was very happy to meet guys with whom he could do "naked things."

I invited him to my house and we talked about the "naked things." Mark said he enjoyed having his dick sucked, and that he liked doing that to other guys as well. He'd only taken a dick up his butt "a couple of times," adding that it hurt too much to be enjoyable. Despite that, he said he was willing to try that again, as he liked having his ass played with.

After some hot and heavy foreplay and fingering, i suggested that Mark let me try to fuck him, to which he was agreeable. I suggested that he might like to clean out first. I went into the bathroom and filled my enema bag about half full of warm water,then returned to the bedroom. When Mark saw it, he became very distressed, saying he didn't want an enema. I patiently explained to him why it was a necessary procedure, but he only became more agitated. Apparently, he'd had enemas forced on him when he was a child, and he hated them. I was able to calm him down, and he eventually allowed me to give it to him—but only because he was recognizing me as the dominant figure. He actually cried a little bit at the beginning, but I turned it into an enjoyable experience for him, and toward the end, I think he was actually enjoying it. The whole experience really was like dealing with a fully grown child.

As with the other times he'd tried taking it up the butt, he was in actual pain as my dick went into him, so I called it off—which his other partners hadn't done They'd gone through to conclusion, even though poor Mark hadn't enjoyed it at all.

I'd see Mark around town every once in a while, but we never connected again. Even though he was a very willing participant, I felt I was maybe taking advantage of his easygoing, slow-witted nature.

R91 is a sexual predator!

[quote][R91] is a sexual predator!

Why do you say that?

Runty ugly circus carney with mega cock.

WOW. R91 is the unreliable narrator.

R81 it would not matter what language it was in.. a moron like you should just stay off the computor. It will only frustrate your very limited brain power

[quote]You sound really vain, [R77].

That word doesn’t mean what you think it does.

R71, you are not down-scaling if you're still laying out $100 a month for fucking cable teevee. Ugh.

I was wondering about that, too R97

R61 - he was English.

Met a guy online in the late 90s. He had a dry, dark sense of humor and we got along great in the chat rooms. I finally asked if we could meet up sometime, and he agreed. I figured it would be a hookup, possibly leading to a FWB sort of thing. He asked me to come to his house.

Before anything else, he was around the same age as me. Maybe early 20s. At most he was 27 or 28.

He meets me in the parking lot and we walk to his apartment. When he opens the door, I notice a smell that can't be described as anything but stale. Almost a pure lack of smell. The first thing I notice when I go in is all his furniture is covered in plastic. He had curio cabinets with collectible plates and spoons in them. It looked like an old lady lived there.

He shows me his computer. It is ancient. This is the 90s, and by that time Windows PCs were common, so seeing someone with a machine that looked like a commodore 64 was odd.

We talk for a bit then he takes me to the bedroom. Two twin beds, each with a hand knitted blanket on top. He proceeds to get naked and lay his clothes carefully on one of the beds and motions for me to do the same. As I undress, he pulls back the blanket on the other bed and reveals, you guessed it, that it too is covered in plastic. He motions for me to lay down with him and we end up having pretty good sex. He was blonde, a nice slim body, and a big uncut dick.

When we finish he insists we go in the bathroom and shower immediately. Once showered, he asks me to leave and says it isn't personal, but he only let's people inside his house for very short periods of time. We talked from time to time after that, but never hooked up again.

Found out later his mother had passed away the year before and he refused to change anything about the house after her death. It was like time stood still within the house. He stopped logging in a few months after our hookup and no one really knows what happened.

I used to be a drunk and one night I woke up to a chunky Asian slobbering all over my dick. I immediately got up and ran out of the Motel 6 room we somehow ended up in.

r100 Well that's no excuse.

I brought a guy home from the bar and he had a foot long penis. I was so flustered that he got dressed and went home. I’d see him around town, this was Berkeley in the 1980’s and he was in a relationship shortly after our encounter.

R71 How is that gross? I don't get it.

I had sex with a guy with one testicle … twice.

I went home with a guy who I met in a bar. A co-op on the smart east side. He opened the door, switched on the light, and the place lighted up brighter than day.

When I stepped in, there were floor to ceiling glass curio cabinets on every wall, a glass topped coffee table, glass occasional tables and some smaller glass cabinets, each piece illuminated throughout with its own lighting. All of it was filled with cut crystal. Vases. Bowls. Candle sticks. Sculpture. At least 100 pieces on display in this overly lighted room.

I must have reacted visiblyas the guy said, "Oh, I know. But I just love Lalique."

I fucked him and got out.

I met a guy in Riverside Park years ago - black, thin, big dick. After we had sex I noticed something odd about his abdomen - but didn't really want to ask. Afterwards we went to eat and he suddenly announced he had to go home and "empty his stomach" because his original stomach had been removed and replaced with something plastic, so he was unable to digest food normally. All his nutrition was given intravenously, so any food he ate needed to be removed from his plastic stomach since he could not digest it.

A Filipino.

R108 you win so far.

R108 WTF?! Why would you bother eating?

Uh, wow R101. You're lucky he let you leave. You were about to become a statistic.

The guy can taste food, obviously. And wants to participate in the social moment. It's a tragic story. Like Henry in AI.

When I was in college, there was one gay bar in town. It was a mix of everything, university student, factory workers, old men. There was one extremely good looking guy that was always there. He always was with the same friends, very shy, quiet. Turns out he was very limited in terms of intelligence and conversational skills. But he was gorgeous. I never heard of him tricking with anyone. One night he sat next to me at the bar and we tried to carry on a conversation. He didn't know much about any topic - movies, current events, music. At the end of the night he asked me if I wanted to go to his place. I thought, OK - he was drop dead gorgeous, why not? Sex consisted of him lying on his stomach, and not moving a muscle. No movement, no kissing, no passion, no interest. He just lay there and did nothing - I fucked him and left. He was the worst lay I ever had. Fast forward 5 years, and a good college friend and I were talking about the worst sex we ever had -- turns out we both tricked with this same guy and both had the same experience. It was like fucking a corpse.

I guess God had a sense of humour when making that one.

Not person but donkey. Not usual nice donkey. Was angry donkey. In Tijuana. After that weekend I say: no more donkey!

R46, I live in LA and I had a similar experience. Did he move to Los Angeles?

R114 He may have been autistic.

Omg, I'm such a vain ex-whore. I'm reading these stories waiting to see who's writing about me.

I dated a guy whose dick was almost 8 inches, but when the doctor circumcised him, he did something wrong and it left a piercing like a Prince Albert. In fact, he could put a ring through it. Weird.

I dated a guy with a cock about half the size of my thumb when flaccid or erect. But god, he was an incredible fuck. And a great kisser. He could cum while getting fucked, without touching himself. And do this multiple times. But I never saw such a small cock. He was not self conscious about it, however.

[quote]I met a guy one night when I was in Columbus, OH.

That is all you needed to say.

I met a very good looking guy at a bar in Boston (dear departed Napoleon's). I thought he was out of my league but we had a nice conversation and I thought that a date would be the upshot but he invited me back to his place. He knew the bartenders and I sort of did so he seemed OK. We went to his place and he asked if he could try something with me. Uh. . . sure? He had a great body and I was getting really hot. He brought out this length of chain--not like 2' or 3', but like 20'. that you'd use to pull up a tree stump. He wanted to get coiled up in it and make out (naked). Uh. . . OK. At one point there was so much chain on me that I couldn't move and I freaked a little. He came on the chains and cleaned it off and put it away. I wonder what his downstairs neighbors thought he was dragging. He was not dangerous, and I never saw him again at that bar or anywhere. I always wondered what he saw in me (outgoing, but kind of a square) that made him think I was chain-worthy.

Then there was the guy who played piano in the nude for over four hours. . .

I fucked a man with a large body frame. He was very sweet and had a handsome face. His home was filled with dolls. Dolls were everywhere, on shelves, on tables, on floors, in every room. Mostly, they were female dolls, replicas of Scarlett O’Hara, old movie stars, Franklin Mint items etc. It was in December, so naturally all the decorations and trees were displayed. It so was bizarre; it reminded me of a John Waters movie.

I fucked him in his bedroom, which had a Christmas tree. Afterwards, he wanted to see me again, but I declined. He was lonely and wanted companionship. To me, it was a one night stand. We chatted about 10 minutes afterwards and I left into the chilly December night.

I met a man who was handicapped, and used a wheel chair. I met him in his apartment. Before hand, he told me he has a cat. He said the cat had a keen awareness. If his cat didn’t like you, he wasn’t interested. He was serious. Anyway, the cat liked me, but I was allergic to it. I sneezed, my eyes were watery, etc. I wasn’t attracted to the man, there was no chemistry. Well, the more I sneezed, the less he liked me. I exited the scene, sneezing and blowing my nose. As I walked to the car, I was relieved.

The cat was right.

I was cruising the men's room at the Indiana Memorial Union and the guy in the stall next to me passed a note. We wrote back and forth for a few minutes, saying what we were looking for. The last he passed back to me said to come to his room (the IMU had hotel-like rooms), gave me the number, and told me to wait five minutes before leaving the restroom so as not to be conspicuous. I did so.

A few minutes later, I knocked on the door and heard him say, Come in. I did. He had a handsome face and nice arms, and he was in the bed covered up to his chest. I stripped down and pulled back the sheet to dive in and ... he had no legs or genitalia. Like, nothing but pinkish skin with indentations from where his prosthetic lower limbs were.

I had written that all I wanted to do was suck dick.

Technically, no sex. Sue me.

I was cruising the men's room at the Indiana Memorial Union and the guy in the stall next to me passed a note. We wrote back and forth for a few minutes, saying what we were looking for. The last he passed back to me said to come to his room (the IMU had hotel-like rooms), gave me the number, and told me to wait five minutes before leaving the restroom so as not to be conspicuous. I did so.

A few minutes later, I knocked on the door and heard him say, Come in. I did. He had a handsome face and nice arms, and he was in the bed covered up to his chest. I stripped down and pulled back the sheet to dive in and ... he had no legs or genitalia. Like, nothing but pinkish skin with indentations from where his prosthetic lower limbs were.

I had written that all I wanted to do was suck dick.

Technically, no sex. Sue me.

One afternoon I was blowing cocks at a rest stop glory hole on I84. This really big fat pretty cock came through the hole and I was going to town. He whispered let's meet in the handicapped stall. Nobody had come in for 45 minutes so I figured why not. Oh never mind, you all know how this sordid tale goes.

I met a teacher, who was out of town, and was staying in a nice hotel. He was at an education seminar, in the hotel and stayed in one of the rooms. The year was 2001. I went to the hotel lobby and I waited for him as I wasn’t sure what he looked like. Anyway, dozens of other teachers were in the lobby. He saw me, but avoided me because other teachers were around. I saw him roaming around, but I wasn’t sure if it was him.

When the lobby was empty, he approached me. He was had a very masculine appeal. He wasn’t conveniently handsome, but was ruggedly sexy, in a way. We snuck into his room, we kissed and it was instant chemistry. We had sex and it was incredibly hot.

He wanted to take it further, but he was married and lived quite a distance away. I declined because I didn’t like sneaking around, as if he was ashamed. I sensed he wanted me on the side, as a boyfriend. I just left an extremely toxic relationship and to paraphrase Alma in “Hud”, I already did time with one cold hearted bastard. I didn’t want another one. He said we had an intense attraction, and that was true. He was disappointed, but I was too wounded from the last relationship to take it further.

Oh dear if that's what you considered the strangest guy you ever hooked up with you must be very sheltered dear.

WTF was strange about that hookup or that man, R129?

I met a very hot Danish guy at a bar near Grand Central who was in town working with the NFL. Huge handsome football player type. He was staying at the Yale club so we went back to his room and had sex. Hung like a horse. Then he slapped me in the middle of passion. It was a total surprise as he was very sweet but got a bit rough. I went to use the bathroom and he had a full white fluffy onesie like a child's sleeper hanging over the shower. Mind you this guy was about 6’5” and very masculine and built so the thought of him in that made me laugh. It looked like an Easter Bunny get up. Needless to say, I got out of there as fast as possible. He started to drunk call me from Denmark from his parents farm and cry on the phone like a little boy in the middle of the night for like a year at random times saying that he missed me. The whole thing creeped me out. Like John Wayne Gayce creepy.

Bunny Bixler and I were in the semifinals, the very semifinals......of the Ping-Pong tournament at the club.

And this ghastly thing happened. We were both playing way over our heads and the score was 29-28. We had this terrific volley... ...and I stepped back to get this really terrific shot. And I stepped on the Ping-Pong ball. I just squashed it to bits. And then Bunny and I ran to the closet to get another ball. And in the closet was a man. A handsome negro man. In flagrante delicto. He had a huge heavy black pipe in his hands. But it wasn't a pipe. Imagine? Well, it was ghastly.

R133. It wasn't too ghastly.

The grammar on this thread is atrocious.

R135, demerits to you for your pedestrian and clichéd use of the word "atrocious."

In my late 20s I messed around with this skinny French guy a couple times. He was cute and the sex was mediocre. The thing is he turned into a crazy stalker from hell. He wouldn't leave me alone. He would call me non-stop and when I stopped taking his calls, he'd find me at work. It was so off-putting. I wasn't scared of him or anything for doing this but was EXTREMELY annoyed. Eventually he went back to France. I found him online a few years ago and I was surprised how much he bulked up into a major hottie. My first thought was "why'd I let this one go?" Then I remembered what a psycho he was.

Years ago when I was young and slutty, I brought a guy home who looked normal. Decent face, thin, somewhat charming. We made out for awhile, and he took off my shirt. Fine. I reached to take off his shirt. He pulled away. I noticed under his sweater he had what felt like a very thick t-shirt. As he’s taking off his own shirt, he says, “I have to tell you something.” Well, that’s never good news. He said, “I used to be fat, like very, very fat.” I nodded. He continued, “I had gastric bypass. Twice. So, I have a scar and some... extra skin.”

He takes off his shirt. And then he takes off the compression t-shirt. It was A LOT of extra skin. Enough to build an extra person. I was disgusted. I tried to politely end it. I had no connection with this man. I just wanted to fuck somebody, but, not somebody who looked like he was wearing drapery made of flesh. He begged me—begged—to suck my dick. So, being the nice bloke I am, I let him even though I had to do some creative fantasizing to stay hard. He swallowed, thanked me, stuffed his flesh into his various garments and left.

What followed was three years of him stalking me, even calling my office pretending to be family to find out where I was if I was out of town. He would show up in other cities. I finally got rid of him.

[quote] I finally got rid of him.

Where's the body buried?

Out of town, r139.

When I was 19 I hooked up with this guy that was in his late 30s He was incredibly good looking and masculine as fuck. The sex was absolutely mind blowing… Of course for me I didn't have much to compare it to. I think of him often tbh. The sad part of the story is he was married and had kids… I didn’t find out till he killed himself by driving his car over a cliff. We lived in a small town so it was all over the news. I had absolutely no idea he was living a double life. 10 years later I ran into his son. I remember what he looked like from the newspaper article. He is a spitting image of his father. I remember walking back to my car crying .. literally sobbing.

[quote] I could tell he had some type of learning disability: not mentally ill or anything like that, but slow and child-like and enthusiastic about wanting to get together. We went to my place and he wanted to kiss before we took off our clothes.

Don't you know it's bad luck to invite retarded people into your home?

Sorry in advance for the length.

Mid-1990's, online text-BBS. Massive userbase and lots of gay guys to interact with. We used to send photos to each other via snail mail. Started chatting with a guy in Fargo (I was in LA). I was going to be in Iowa and Minnesota and he said he was going to be in Minneapolis at the same time. I suggested we meet in person, and we had exchanged pictures. TGIFridays in downtown Minneapolis Friday at 7:30 for dinner, but we would meet at the bar.

A couple months earlier, I managed to break both legs at the same time. I was in casts for eight weeks and in a wheelchair. Then these velcro and plastic things called CAM Walkers. This trip was the second week that I was free from both, but I limped badly.

I was running a bit late and needed to pee badly. So I walked through the bar straight to the men's room, but I saw him sitting at the bar with a drink. He looked exactly like his picture. I was so nervous and excited that he was not a catfish. I walked up to him, say down for a minute, and there was instant chemistry. I could not believe I was going to get laid; it had been months!

We asked the bartender if we could get a table and he called the hostess over. She led the way with me right behind her, Fargo go behind me. I turned to say something to him and he was hobbling with his arms flailing, practically crab walking. My face turned bright red and I was furious. That motherfucker was mocking me. He sat at the table first. I stood there and lit into him, reminding him that I had broken both legs and was ten days out of a wheelchair, and that he was a piece of shit for making fun of me.

Tears started welling up in Fargo's eyes and he started blathering that he was not making fun of me, but that he has cerebral palsy and that is his normal gait, please not to ditch him because of his CP, since it has happened to him so many times in the past, etc. etc. Of course I felt like shit then, but it did not last long. We got on famously, went to a couple bars, and fucked our brains out that night.