Eurovision Song Contest 2019, Part Dois

First thread:

The jury dress rehearsal just began 15 minutes ago. You can watch the press watching it on various livestreams:

I think Portugal has its chances because they are in the first semifinal, but i still didn't get the hype of that performance

This video of Conan and Joao dancing to Fuego on yesterday's "orange" carpet is everything!

I think Conan's going to bomb in the televote hard, and it'll be obvious to everyone in hindsight why that was so.

r2 That's such a more informative stream than the other one with the three dudes, who just talk about their donations.

R5 In defense of those other guys, they already livestreamed the previous rehearsal today so they're probably a bit bored watching it again so soon again.

Damn, Tamata brought some serious pyro with her. That actually looks scary a bit.

Yuck, sounds like the Hungarian gypsy guy is performing barefoot. Bitch, you're no Sandie Shaw!

After having watched that stream, I'm rooting for Australia, Greece, Cyprus, Iceland, and Estonia. Only really excited about seeing Australia.

Man, what a weak semi this is.

Sometimes it's difficult to know what it's going to work with televote. I still remember that stupid Russian song with the grandmas doing amazing on televote. Eurovision is a freak show and sometimes the music is the less important thing.

I know some eurofans hated it and with time i get a little tired of Sobral's attitude, but Portugal winning was refreshing because for once it was about the song and not about the staging

[quote]because for once it was about the song and not about the staging

And it's going to happen again this year, calling it right now.

Parts of tonight's performances have leaked and the camera work doesn't really look THAT bad. Greece looks especially fabulous and I imagine she won tonight's jury vote (her or Australia).

And this is actually shaping out to be a very strong semi-final. I think the only three songs we can safely rule out from qualifying are Montenegro, Finland and San Marino. The rest all have either good stagings, good vocal performances or both and are in the running to go through.

I take it back - even San Marino might magically make it through somehow with them having the coveted closing spot, though it's highly unlikely. I like daddy Serhat but watching him clown around right after the magnificent Greek performance feels very anticlimatic.

I took such a dump on Heidke when I first heard her song but now I'm obsessed. Though most of the voting audience will have heard it for the first time tomorrow as well so they might have the same WTF reaction I had. Growers, not showers, probably fare better in this competition for that exact reason. Still can't wrap my head around Conan's song, even after all this time.

Has Mahmood's fiancé been benched back in Italy? Preparing their little nest for the litter of kids sure to follow in the near future? The other guy in this shot from earlier today is the director of his music video.

R10 this incredibly boring song is a favorite to win?

r14 It is! Which one is more to your liking?

R15 Italian song is so much better. This tear jerking crap has nothing to do with ESC.

r16 Are they really that different from each other? They're both more intimate and quieter than most of the other songs.

The Dutch song is much showier - that chorus was clearly written to showcase Duncan's vocal skills. I much prefer the subtler and trendier Italian song but I think Duncan's song and his performance will be a bit more memorable for first time listeners/viewers on Saturday night. Plus Duncan will have the advantage of performing his song twice, as opposed to Mahmood. I think that automatic qualification for the Big Five almost works against them sometimes.

Damn, look at this shot! Perhaps she could pull off what Estonia couldn't last year?

I enjoyed reading this vocal assessment of last night's jury show. Seems like San Marino, Estonia, Montenegro, and Finland have the weakest singers. It's going to be fun cringing tonight.

[bold]For Host Countries, Eurovision Is a Financial Gamble[/bold]

[quote]Israel is the first country in the contest's 64-year history to fail to financially support the event, said Eldad Koblenz, the CEO of the Israeli Broadcasting Corporation. Governments traditionally give anywhere from 30 percent to full financing for the contest, Koblenz said. But about two-thirds of this year's budget of $33.5 million are government subsidies in the form of a loan from the network that will need to be repaid in 15 years.

[quote]"This entire process felt strange," Koblenz said. "We are fully financing this one-night event with a budget intended to support our original programming for the upcoming decade."

[quote]Much like the Olympics, making money off the song contest has often proved to be a challenge for host countries. Portuguese broadcaster RTP reportedly lost about $4.5 million after hosting last year in Lisbon, as ticket sales, advertiser revenue and sponsorship failed to match or exceed its investment. Stockholm reported that Eurovision tourism brought in about $27 million in revenue when the Swedes hosted in 2016, with Eurovision 2013 in Malmö, Sweden, netting $25 million.

Something interesting might get revealed tomorrow?

R22 Many people think that's going to be a fake press conference that has something to do with that Netflix film. Maybe they plan to film some scenes for it. Rumor has it that they already filmed some in the arena yesterday,

r23 Oh, of course, that makes more sense. Yeah, they filmed a fake Russian song in the arena yesterday.

I know something has been signed recently as regards to the American version of this competition, but that was just barely above a letter of intent. Basically, they'll pay some producers to brainstorm how to approach this.

Eurovision Asia Song Contest is supposed to finally happen in December, after being in preparation for what seems like eons. I still wouldn't be surprised if the whole thing gets canceled for lack of interest even before that.

r25 Love Australia's thirsty ass double-teaming two regions. I expect the Chinese to be doing the most, just like in the Olympics. It'll be interesting to see how many tune in.

The cutest moment from last night's jury show - the contestants were hold hostage in the green room long into the night, because there were some serious technical issues with Israeli guy's performance and Spain also performed twice. Zena from Belarus fell asleep and woke up only when she was called as one of the fake qualifiers.

r27 I'd like to take a nap in his lap as well.

R28 #MeToo

I can't believe we haven't discussed the Belarussian dancers in the previous thread yet. Someone needs to track down the left side dancer's instagram.

The Spaniards are just the handsomest. Is that a wireless camera in his hand at one point? Is that going to be plugged into the main feed?

R30 I think the feed will be shown on the LED screens behind him.

Perhaps that wasn't a joke after all? We'll see tomorrow.

[quote]Aftonbladet reports that American Song Contest is to be launched in 2021, with a press conference to reveal more tomorrow.

We must also brace ourselves for what is probably going to be one of the cringiest Eurovision moments ever tonight - SPOILERS ALERT - while Dana International will be lip-synching to Bruno Mars' "Just the Way You Are" they're gonna do one of those stupid Kiss Cams, like the ones they have in the US at sports events. Some of the couples shown will be straight ones which means they're probably planted there by the producers (I don't think there are normally any straight couples in attendance at Eurovision).

That poster in this year's Eurovision thread who easily gets triggered by manifestations of heterosexual love better not click on the pic below (or watch the kiss cam segment tonight).

r33 Why is she lip syncing to Bruno? Just do the fucking Diva remix spiel and be done with it.

[quote]That poster in this year's Eurovision thread who easily gets triggered by manifestations of heterosexual love better not click on the pic below (or watch the kiss cam segment tonight).

Too late, bitch; the offending shot is in the preview image and is now seared into my brain permanently. To be honest, I'm creeped out by PDA in general so that will be painful for me regardless of the couples taking part. Why, just why? Some American things should never, ever be transplanted anywhere else, with this one being chief among them. So you're engaging in the biological function of breeding, congrats and good for you. Why not show a shot of someone drinking or taking a dump, then? Let's maybe focus on the talent instead?

Anyway, I'll stop railing now. I'll have the last laugh when Slovenia's entry crashes and burns, just like Spain's last year. And I'll have another laugh when those two bitches break up and he starts fucking dudes, which is another inevitability.

Currently cleansing my palate for tonight's semi by listening to this gorgeous song. Goosebumps every time that spoken intro starts. I've decided I prefer this, Ultimo, and Loredana's song to Soldi. But it is what it is.

Crap, I admit only the US came to my mind as well when I read the news at r32.

So it wouldn't be a competition between the US states, but between the countries of the Americas. That makes a tonne more sense and I feel so foolish now.

Live in 30 mins.

Starts in half an hour. The unofficial Discord server seems so inane and wholesome, I might stick with Reddit and DL.

According to an American viewer on Reddit, this Swedish online stream should apparently be available in the US as well, no proxy required. We'll see.

R34 She'll be lip-synching to her own shitty version of the song (which was awful enough to begin with).

I absolutely love the anemic kids from Slovenia but something tells me they'll be this year's shock non-qualifiers. Their song is just a bit too esoteric for Eurovision and they're performing early on in the show which is like a kiss of death for songs like theirs. I think that little strumpet from Belarus or the Estonian guy will qualify instead.

I also love how frank they are in interviews. In one of them they said they hate how fake most of the people attending Eurovison seem. They said they hate people who come up to them just so they can take selfie with them and tell them that "YOUR SONG IS THE BEST ONE THIS YEAR!" and then just move to the next artist and repeat the exercise.

[quote]She'll be lip-synching to her own shitty version of the song (which was awful enough to begin with).

Oh, god, even worse! So I'm assuming they'll dredge her ass up for the second semi and the Grand Final as well? And she'll perform Diva at the final?

I have no idea why they chose that song for her to perform because it literally has nothing to do with Eurovision. Some are afraid the whole thing is becoming a bit too Americanized, with stupid stuff like that Kiss Cam, Bruno Mars covers and Miss Ciccone apearing (of course the last thing hasn't been confirmed yet).

In my opinion The Netherlands and Italy are by far the best songs in terms of quality and it should slay on juries votes.

Televote is always a mystery but i expect both to do well too, but probably Russia will win the televote. Sergey is amazing by i don't want Russia to host again

Here it goes

I missed the opening jingle (the best part of the whole thing!) because I went on one last toilet break, so my entire evening is ruined now.

Like always they play last year’s winner. Not my favorite. But at least it began. Tel Aviv

What a provocative outfit she wears! You go girl!

That touching intro with the young Netta made me tear up. MARY!

How the fuck did this win last year?! Definitely the worst Eurovision winning song of the last 15 years, along with Russia 2008 and Azerbaijan 2011.

But the good thing about Fuego not winning is that Eurovison isn't held in Cyprus this year. The organization in Israel seems very hectic but I think those lazy Cypriots would be even worse hosts.

The host in the left must be family

r51 He is, we've discussed him in the first thread. Both he and his partner have hot Instas.

R51 He sure is (picture with his bf below). He also decided to donate his Eurovison salary to some LGBT Youth organization. He said Israel doesn't offer enough financial support to organizations like that one so he'll be happy to give his earnings from this job to them, since they come straight from the state funds.

And gurl is turning 40 in less than a month. Fuck, he looks amazing for his age!

Thanks for the info. R52 and R53 lovely thing to do

Yikes, Tamata sounded pretty awful. She can definitely sing but that isn't a very easy track to pull off live, especially while dancing. Fuego this sure ain't!

She sounds amazing in this short clip where she, Oto Nemsadze and his group of undertakers sang some folk Georgian song.

r55 Yup, she didn't sound great there at all. Pretty out of breath by the end.

Montenegro is garbage on just about every level imaginable.

What the fuck was that dance move they did in the end all about?

Finland surely has sent some bad songs to ESC over the years and this is no exception. Darude could have done much better. But the first semi-final has many poor songs and that gives Finland a little chance. But I am ashamed how bad the song is.

Who are the funniest on Twitter re Eurovision? I enjoy Daz Gale and Jonathan Harvey’s tweets but happy to add on some more.

Rejman can't fucking carry a note, it's embarrassing. I totally feel for you, r59.

My condolances to R59, because this really is awful. I absolutely love the Finnish music scene (and Pekka Streng is probably my all-time favorite singer, God rest his soul). I imagine serious musicians in Finland stay as far away from Eurovision as possible.

*condolences

r60 I'm waiting for the American showbiz gays to chime in on Twitter on Sunday. They're the most hysterical of them all, although they usually don't bother with the semis.

Polish dresses and song have been approved by Polish right wing government.

I'm not sure what to think about the Polish wenches. I love that there's at least one folk song in this year's Eurovision but unfortunately it's not a particulary good one.

I had no idea Israel had such countryside?

But, R64, where can us Yanks watch it if it’s no longer being shown on Logo?

I like Slovenia. Maybe because the rest has been crap. But I like this one.

r68 Try the link at r39.

R67 They probably annexed it from some neighbouring country.

Oh no, the anemic Slovenian girl sounds nervous as hell and can't hold her notes very well. I can't see them qualifying anymore.

Literally speak the same language as this bitch and can hardly make out what's she singing. Make it stahp already!

Why is an all-white boy band named "Lake Malawi" anyway? Has that mystery been solved at all?

Maybe that annoying "My Heritage" sponsor told them they have some African blood in them.

All the music is playback, no need for the instruments on stage but nice try cuties

Still no clue as to where he cribbed that English accent from.

She's been asked about that damn Fuego song for the millionth time now, give it a rest already.

Looking back

Finland had a great song two years ago and the juries screwed them

Hungary is surprisingly good, even if those floating heads behind him are creepy a bit. But I think Joci is in danger with his feet exposed like that - Madonna might go all Medellin on him (if she actually appears on Saturday) and try to suck his toes!

This is too low-energy for the Eurovision and exactly the way Soldi is going to play on Sunday.

R79 Was that Blackbird? I loved that song. I think Slovenia will be this year's Blackbird.

I'm loving these dancing postcards. So much more modern that the usual syrupy crap.

Zena is the youngest contestant this year and is dressed the sluttiest. That's just wrong.

Generic crap from Belarus. And sung badly, at that.

R83 I think 2014 had the best postcards, the ones where contestants were creating their country's flags out of different things.

R82 It was, strong song

I have always had a thing to Slavic melancholy. This has it. But why sing a part in English?

I can't stand the Serbian singer's awful posture and that leg thing she's doing - it's very "Angelina Jolie at the 2012 Oscars". And the song is a typical Balkans ballad we've heard dozens of times before.

And that last name that was displayed is not her name anymore because she got married a few weeks ago to this hunky pilot, who never seems to go anywhere without his sunglasses (he even wore those glasses during their wedding dance!). She's Nevena Ivanovic now, not Nevena Bozovic.

Serbia's is my favourite so far.

r89 That douche is really rocking the Keith Urban wig.

The lower notes are barely audible. Come on, Belgian twink, you can do better than that!

Eliot must be nervous. His notes don’t fly.

Fuck, the audience is completely dead. What a fiasco. Poor, poor twink.

The Arab dancers in Georgia's postcard were hot to death.

I'm shocked to see how unattractive those Georgian guys all are. Georgia has probably the most beautiful men out of all the countries I've visited so far but I couldn't spot a single cute one on that stage. But I still enjoyed that little trip into the pits of hell with them. I can see this being a shock qualifier.

Open your jars of vegemite - Australia is up next!

Here we go with the biggest spectacle of the evening, Australia!

R82: Yes, Blackbird was the kind of song a decent jury should vote to get some quality on the final, but for some reason they thought two good songs were too much and decided to vote for Portugal and skip Finland, and adding salt to the injury was the fact that televote put Finland top 10

Australia gave show and she has wide range but the song has too many elements. But will get to the final. What a show!

I know that Eurovision is huge in Oz but do people there actually watch it live? It's 6 AM in Sydney right now.

r101 They do or it wouldn't have been huge in the first place. It was the big viewership that got them invited, after all.

Here's Hatari's singer before Hatari, looking like an average nerd. What a difference a latex costume makes!

This is going to bomb so hard in the televote, they're going to be crying tonight.

I can actually see this doing well in the televote, especially because it's the only rock song this year.

Victor Crone is Swedish and has participated Melodifestivalen, Swedish national final of ESC.

Wow, Estonia finally got that storm CGI effect right. They had some major issues with it during the rehearsals.

But I don't like the inclusion of pre-recorded stuff like that in the performances. I don't mind smaller optical camera effects like slow-mo, shaking the cam or some animation (like the one Bulgaria had in 2017 and Italy in 2015) but putting recorded parts in there feels like cheating the audience in front of TVs a bit.

Oh, here we go with the Portuguese freakshow.

Why is the Portuguese stage so badly lit?

I doubt it, televote tend to focus in flashy acts, i still remember when The wolves of the sea end higher than Senhora do Mar (one of the best songs ever on eurovision).

Europeans (specially eastern europeans) have no taste

Conan explained in some interview that his green outfit is supposed to symbolize a praying mantis!

R110 I adore Senhora do Mar! But it's strange how it finished second in its semi-final and then only 13th in the Final. It's like Norway last year - he won the semi-final and then finished 15th overall.

Yaasss, Miss Duska nailed that high note!

It's not that surprising, on the semifinal there weren't so many neighbours to vote.

Senhora do mar should have been top 5 if there were jury votes that year

But I hate that chicken-like sound the backing vocalists let out at the end. A tribute to Netta?

Who did Serhat blow to get the closing spot of the semi-final (which many countries would kill for). This trolling schtick of San Marino is getting a bit old.

Serhat can't fucking sing for shit, I'm sorry.

The San Marino song is shit.

Half the population of San Marino on the stage right now.

Looking back when BBC made an effort. After playing Alex in Aspects of Love in West End and Broadway Michael Ball performed and came 2nd after Ireland’s Why Me

I felt bad for the hot blond dancer who was dancing his (no doubt perfect) ass off.

Why Me?

R121 lol I noticed him, too. He made the best he could with his beautiful butt. I don’t think it was enough.

Here comes the Kiss Cam!

C’mon ICELAND!!!!

San Marino has a good song but Serhat can't sing.

LOL at the grumpy old guy they showed right after one of the kisses.

Is dana cgi

Okay, the first two couples being featured on the kiss cam has mellowed my opposition to it a bit. That was cute.

*the first two couples being GUYS, I meant

It's so obvious those str8 couples are plants. There's no way the cameraman would be able to locate a heterosexual couple in that pool of queens just like that.

The kiss cam still wasn't as nauseating as this 2017 moment:

One-minute entries from the Big 5 coming up?

Oh, no, I see now it's just a dancing collage.

So, who do we think is qualifying?

I think Cyprus, Australia, Iceland, Greece, the Czech Republic, Hungary and Serbia are definitely going through.

The remaining three are more difficut to pick. I'm gonna go with Portugal, Poland and Estonia.

Come on Iceland! (and Portugal)

r135 Pretty much agree with your picks there.

Though why do you think Hungary is going through?

R137 Because he already did well two years ago with a song that was inferior to this one.

But it looks like the UK isn't voting tonight which makes the fate of Poland a little less certain.

I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that Georgia and Slovenia make it somehow. I think at least one of them could make it.

I wonder who will turn on the waterworks after not qualifying tonight. It's always sad to see the artist crying, even those whose songs I hated - it must be terrible knowing that you brought shame to your entire country.

These sad pics of poor Moran Mazor continue to haunt me:

Germany's Levina in 2017 was a sad sight as well:

And poor Anna Bergendahl in 2010, the only Swdish act in history who failed to qualify!

Australia-fantastic staging but there's no song there, she's just chirping and squeaking.

r140 Oh, give me a break! Even Nancy Kerrigan took her knee bashing more gracefully than that. It's just a singing competition, at the end of the day.

Israeli ‘songstress’ Dana International still looks like a man.

R143, LOL...the staging was amazing...and you’re right about the singing.

This was just delightful. And hot!

Finalists may surprise many because they were only handful of decent songs. People may not want to spend money voting. Some songs might get forward with low voting numbers. Of course 50% comes from national juries.

LOL are they actually shilling a DVD of the Eurovision? What is this - 2003?

Brazilian flag in the background had me confused for a second there.

r149 This is VERY IMPORTANT information for the euro gays watching this, believe me.

Not only has Spain fun song the singer has nice abs!

They're embarrassing him with this shitless pic but his tits look great so he shouldn't feel bad.

Bilal looks slightly less scary without those hideous glasses he usually wears.

Kobi is so fucking pretty. He's got a very feline-like facial structure, but he's very telegenic. And I actually like the revamped version of his song they released last week. They made some last minute changes to it to make it sound a bit less dated. I had it on repeat today.

Lol at the Icelandic slave waving the pride flag in the background.

The Israeli song makes me feel like I'm strolling through the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin again. So fucking depressing.

Yawn, here's that annoying Norwegian troll again.

He recently had a very serious talk with Hatari:

Belarus, WTF?!

R159 Slutpop genre always does well in Eurovison.

YAS, Australia, my favourite!

Greece, Serbia, Cyprus, Belarus, Estonia, Czech Republic...

San Marino?! I knew that closing spot could do wonders.

Iceland!!

Yasssss, zombie kids made it!

Oh shit, that means Portgual is out :(

SAY NANANANANANANNA HAHAHAHAHAHA

Fuck those zombie kids, I'm so pissed right now.

No Portugal...

[quote] Victor Crone is Swedish and has participated Melodifestivalen, Swedish national final of ESC

Makes sense - Estonians are generally not as hot as the Swedes. Surprised he’s representing Estonia.

Portugal should get some American expat to represent them next time.

It's sad to see trash like Belarus, San Marino, Estonia and Cyprus making it through with Portugal and Hungary staying behind.

San Marino sucks ass but at least we'll get another look at that blond dancer and his ass.

I also feel sorry for the poor Belgian twink. Imagine having your dreams crushed like this at such young age.

Crushed? He got more PR exposure out of this than he could have hoped for.

r173 I mean, it's not like he doesn't understand why he didn't qualify, he did see the replay of his performance. There was a chain of bad decisions back home that led him to Tel Aviv.

[quote] Makes sense - Estonians are generally not as hot as the Swedes. Surprised he’s representing Estonia.

Are you kidding me?! I believe Estonia is the country with the highest percentage of blue-eyed people in the world (I believe it's 89%). That alone makes Estonian men stand out for me more.

how the hell did San Marino get through?

I wanted Portugal instead of that boring Sloevnia

I didn't say I liked the Belgian performance, I just said it's sad to see a kid like that not making it to the grand final, especially when a few much worse acts made it.

r177 You can thank the breeders for that; apparently merely holding hands on stage is enough to put you through.

And I can't stand her - she looked so over everything when they announced she got through. Can someone give her an iron supplement or something?

Let's not forget that Serhat is Turkish and he even sang a part of his song in Turkish. Maybe it was the Turkish diaspora that helped him.

I think the countries of the second semifinal will slay in the final like it happened with the ones of the first last year.

This semi was trash, and some of the worst even made the final

Second semi is going to be a bloodbath, this one was garbage.

R179 That doesn't make much sense because the Slovenian song is a very acquired taste and not very mainstream. I don't think the breeders usually go for music like that.

She looks virginal, that why they went for her.

Like a virginal vampire.

Thanks, R39 and R70, the link worked great! And apparently the BBC4 satellite feed in the UK had a glitch in the final moments and the Swedish feed was perfect.

Speaking of Swedes...Victor Crone. Oh My God. What about that video package of him on the beach? Such beautiful feet. What I wouldn’t give...

That cute gay Israeli co-host wouldn’t mind a fourple with those boys from the Czech Republic, would he?

Thanks again, R39 and R70!

R184 Didn't virgins go out of style with the Vestals?

r185 I'm glad it worked! Though I heard the Swedish commentator was super chatty tonight, so that must have sucked occasionally.

[quote]Speaking of Swedes...Victor Crone. Oh My God. What about that video package of him on the beach? Such beautiful feet. What I wouldn’t give...

He's so gorgeous but he seems like one of those men who are acutely aware of their beauty and actively use it to get what and where they want in life., which is off-putting to me. He's so low-energy and was pretty much coasting on the strength of his face in his performance.

Slovenia had the "oh, this one is not bad" factor.

Madonna has reportedly just landed in Israel to take the haggling over money for her performance into her own gloved hands. It could all go to shit still but I hope it doesn't and that we get both Maluma's toes and "Like A Prayer" on Sunday. Wouldn't that be nice?

I hope she brought Maluma along now that poor Joci has been eliminated. But the more I think about her, the less excited I am about her performance.

I heard Celine Dion was that billionare's second option, in case Madonna said no. That would actually be a much better choice - she's a Eurovision winner and unlike Madonna she has a great sense of humour.

r191 Well, you just about ruined Sunday for me with that Céline Dion scoop. Maybe next year? Does the Netherlands have charitable millionaires who would be willing to burn cash on foreign divas?

R188, I think you’ve got Victor down to a tee. It sort of confirmed that sense of entitlement when he was announced as a finalist and he had that look of “well, of COURSE, I’m in, why the fuck wasn’t I announced FIRST!”

Still, those feet...

r193 Those beautiful feet...

I believe they'll replay the same postcards on Sunday so be sure you catch his again.

You know I will, R194!

She honestly scares me a little.

I totally picture myself ending up as that grumpy old guy they showed after the hot couple kissed in a couple of decades, turning up my nose at those whippersnappers and their shameless public display of lust.

r197 A DLer right there. Twitter fame came fast at him tonight and he'll live forever in meme form now.

The Slovenian zombie chick is not hiding the fact that she's not enjoying the whole Eurovision experience. I think they went to their national selection only to get some free promotion and never expected to actually walk away with the whole thing. Just look at their reaction after their names were pulled out of the envelope. They look almost unhappy they won (the guy even more so).

They do also seem a bit snobbish at times, talking about how they don't want to be labeled as "Eurovision musicians" after this whole thing.

Betting odds (favorites)

1. Netherlands

2. Sweden

3. Australia

4. Russia

5. France

[quote]They look almost unhappy they won (the guy even more so).

r199 Not surprised. The bearding contract probably only covered that one evening. Poor guy.

Welp, I just learned the Grand Final is this SATURDAY, not Sunday, after parroting that misinformation for I don't know how many times. Sorry, everyone!

I'm thankful it won't clash with the GoT finale.

But wait, aren't Jews prohibited from working on Saturdays? Or is that just the orthodox strain?

lol. SLovenia just said how shitty the questions at press conference are

The Eurovision subreddit is an actual Serhat cult at this point and every reaction to the semifinal results from every homo with daddy issues I've seen on YouTube is that of sheer ecstasy.

I'll have what he's having, is what I'm trying to say here...

Zombie girl saying that the air-condition is killing her was cute but that comment from Gasper at the press conference was totally unnecessary. I still admire them for not pretending to have sickly sweet personalities but some things are better left unsaid and there's a difference between being honest and being rude. It's not like the other artists find those same tired questions interesting, they just happen to be more polite.

Here's a video of a nicer Eurovision contestant: slightly tipsy Miss Duska tearing up over Conan not qualifying. She's such a (forgive me for a corny expression) cutie pie. I watched some interviews with her and she seems incredibly gracious and down to earth.

And Tulia is coming after all the kurwas who failed to vote for them.

....

Aren't these kids getting paid/sponsored to perform? Why act like that? Funny how it's the straight ones acting like drama queens.

I hope Assi Azar pulls this exact same shit with Mahmood tomorrow, and that he uses a photo of him arguing with his boyfriend out in the street.

Could someone explain OP’s clip? That looks too intentional to be a fall but too improbable to be a dance move. The swaying fringe makes it mire hypnotic, and I cant stop staring. Please contextualize.

r211 That was from a performance at their national selection back in Portugal and I'm pretty sure it was intentional. It does look like it could go either way, doesn't it? Very hypnotic gif.

I do know that same dancer slipped once during rehearsals in Tel Aviv but that wasn't shown.

Thank you R212. I found the full performance and posted a separate thread. I have so many questions.

We have a touchdown! Madonna has arrived to Israel and apparently already had her first rehearsal behind closed doors today. She also had everyone kicked out of the arena during her rehearsal.

Is Maluma with her, though? It must kill her to know that everyone is going nuts for her gay sidepiece, not her.

[quote]She also had everyone kicked out of the arena during her rehearsal.

Naturally. I wonder if that truck driver who got crushed to death on stage in a work accident this morning was setting up her staging.

[quote] I wonder if that truck driver who got crushed to death on stage in a work accident this morning was setting up her staging.

That was so tragic. And what makes it even sadder is that the guy was 66 and just one year away from retirement.

I swore I'll never bet on Eurovision again after losing some money back in 2017 but I just put 30 pounds on Jurijus Veklenko qualifying - he's second to last in the odds right now so if he goes through I'll make a nice profit of 75 pounds.

Here are two things that convinced me that he's qualifying - Estonia qualifying yesterday showed that people really like average pop songs with minimalistic stagings, sung by handsome singers. Jurijus won't even have any fancy CGI effects like the one Estonia had but here's where my second point comes in - four of the five countries that traditionally give Lithuania the most points will be voting in the semi final tomorrow (the UK, Ireland, Latvia and Norway) so he can probably count on plenty of support from there. I know it will be a very difficult semi final to advance from but the Lithuanian diaspora has done wonders in the past and got some even worse songs through.

I managed to track down Serhat's fantastic blond dancer some of us noticed last night. He reminds me a bit of Alec Nysten aka The Honey Badger. Hope he does a collab with Michael Lucas, who is no doubt in town right now, shooting hot vids left and right.

[quote]and just one year away from retirement.

OMG! Just awful.

[bold]EBU signs agreement to develop Eurovision Song Contest in USA[/bold]

[quote]The goal is for the very first American Song Contest to be ready to air in 2021, with First Gentleman Chasten Buttigieg in attendance to declare the contest open.

[quote]The team behind The American Song Contest project includes some of Europe's most experienced TV producers. Anders Lenhoff and Peter Settman will be joined by Christer Björkman and Ola Melzig who have worked on over 20 ESCs between them. Brain Academy, a part of Nordic Entertainment Group (NENT) will develop, manage and coordinate the project for the US market in cooperation with the EBU.

Okay, I might have tinkered with that first quote a little. But seriously, if that happened, the Gay Agenda would be done and dusted.

Victor Crone doesn't come across as arrogant or entitled in the interviews I've seen on YouTube. He admits he lacks confidence and meditates to settle his nerves.

Have you all seen Maxxy Rainbow and her bad wigs? She tries so hard.

R200: france? seriously? What's wrong with the world. That song is pure crap and he is a mediocre singer, if a gay arab do well he must be Mahmood.

Anyway, last year they were top 3 (with a far better song) and didn't even end in the top 10

Of the reactions to the semi results I've seen, this cutie has stuck with me the most. I just want to adopt him and then EAT him. He couldn't be more adorable if he tried.

r220 The nerves could explain the entitled vibe I got off him. But how does someone who looks like him lack confidence, Jesus Christ.

r221 The French kid is selling a story and he's marketing his ass off, despite being a lousy singer. That's more than you can say for the UK entry who - just like every year - looks like he doesn't quite understand why he's there.

Of course he's going to bomb spectacularly. But the bitch looks and behaves as if he's owning the narrative right now, so this'll be a nice launching pad for whatever he wants to do next.

R222, I think he lacks confidence because, despite his good looks, he knows he's kind of boring. I like him though. He's got a nice voice, just forgettable songs.

[quote]So far the song contest will only feature the United States, but they are open for other countries to take part as the concept grows. The show producers believe starting with one country makes things a lot more feasible: it’s easier to have one country at launch, as dealing with multiple countries may be what is delaying the Eurovision Asia concept.

I want to watch this so bad, and I want to watch it NOW!

This version of Arcade sounds so good.

r226 I posted it at r10 when it came out on Monday and someone crapped on it, saying it's too sad for Eurovision. Sadness aside, I think his vocals are just perfect there. He's the best vocalist this year in my mind, hands down.

Robed monks spotted on Madonna's stage. So she's doing the Met Gala thing she did last year. Makes sense.

R228 Her performance is excellent time for late night snack.

R223: Well french are very good at that, no matter how crappy it's a song (a film, a book) they are able to convince you it's the best thing ever.

Yes, the UK guy is the opposite, but he is a far better singer no matter what.

Eurovision needs to do something to try to balance the semifinals, the last two years all the decent songs were in one of the semis

Will those delightful people at r2 do a livestream for tonight's jury show as well?

Eurgh, I kinda hate myself for not going in cold like in the previous years. I checked in a month in advance and now I have to know every fucking detail about everyone. It's like crack and I totally understand those Eurovision gays now who obsess over this stuff all year long. I'll probably end up at a Grand Final five years from now...

Saw that Assi and his gorgeous hubby Alberto are both following Johan, the blond dancer for San Marino. Something tells me a threeway will happen in the wee hours of Sunday morning.

[quote]Yes, the UK guy is the opposite, but he is a far better singer no matter what.

Of course he's a far better singer but he's a nothingburger when it comes to personality. I'm barely aware he's even there.

I agree about the semis being unbalanced but there's no way you could pre-judge the quality of the songs in advance (even roughly), before the juries and the audience have their say.

r232 Damn, both following him definitely didn't happen by accident. Bitches know what they want and they're gonna get it. Nothing like exotic white flesh to celebrate a successful hosting gig, I always say.

R233: True, but not all the personality in the world can compensate bad vocals (he improved but he is far from the best singers in the competition) and bad song

Roi has a nice message but in the end it's a bad song.

I agree that sometimes juries and televote surprise you (generally for the worst) but here we are not talking about a song or two. Even the songs with less possibilities to pass on the second semifinal would have a chance on semi 1, and of course two or three of the ones that'll be eliminated would pass the first semi without trouble.

Last year the winner of the second semi ended very far from the top 10, and the second totally flopped on televote.

Maybe Australia has a chance of ending top 10, but i think the rest will flop in the final. Cyprus only chances (even with the bad vocals) is that Switzerland and Malta end being eliminated in their semi (and i wouldn't be that surprised if Switzerland ends being eliminated)

Russia could join Eurovision Asia along with Turkey.

r235 I get all that but drawing randomly is still the fairest way to go. You get a better spot in some years than in others, just like in real life. Saying one semi is unbalanced is a judgment call made in hindsight, and the organisers have to be completely objective here. There's very little chance that the lowest-scoring songs at the cutoff point in each semi would go on to win the Grand Final, anyway.

The Big 5 and the hosting country automatically qualifying, and not all countries being allowed to vote at both semis fucks up the system much more, I think.

R236: Maybe Turkey, but there's no way Russia will do it.

They love eurovision, they even love to talk trash about eurovision (their polititians do it a lot) but they know they will be totally ignored if they don't participate. IN most countries there won't be any mourning if Russia stops to participate, apart of their neighbours nobody missed them in 2017

R231 I actually envy you. I think it's more fun to watch the show if you don't know much about the songs and the show in advance. If you watch all of the livestreams from the rehearsals and know all of the songs by heart the live show just isn't as interesting to watch.

But at the same time those livestreams are so much fun to watch and full of funny and awkward moments. I was watching the ESCunited livestream from the first rehearsal today and there was a hilarious moment when some very rude Isreali journalist interrupted those two guys and started asking them really bizarre questions in broken English ("What do you think about the freakshow from Iceland?") One of the guys was answering her questions while the other was rolling his eyes next to him. Their recollection of that interview right after it was hilarious too. Someone in livechat identified that woman as being some nationalistic Israeli reporter.

If anyone is interested, the awkward interview starts at the 3:23:20 mark.

Bad news about our queen Srbuk from Hayastan - apparently she had some serious technical issues during her jury performance and even took out her in-ear monitor while singing. If there really was a technical issue she'll probably be allowed to repeat the performance at the end but I still feel so bad for her.

r239 I'm watching their jury reactions on delay now and want to eat the face off the guy in the middle.

When Srbuk had the earpiece problem, one of them said the juries are treating this as a rehearsal anyway. So are the jury scores today just provisional and they watch the semi again with the rest of us, and adjust their scores?

R241 I caught that remark too and this certainly isn't a rehearsal - the juries are sitting at the seats of their national broadcasters right now watching this and scoring it. Maybe he was trying to say that the juries saw she has obvious problems and treated the rest of her performance as a rehearsal.

Srbuk is so unlucky because she had similar problems at the Eurovision concert in Amsterdam too and seemed very angry at the end of the song. And that was just some silly concert in front of a few screaming queens so I can't imagine how frustrated and pissed off she must be right now. Maybe she's being sabotaged by Azerbaijan LOL

I've now watched three different livestreams where people all commented on how beautiful and pearly white Jonida Maliqi's teeth are. I can't wait to see that for myself tomorrow night to see if it's true because I absolutely love people with flawless teeth.

Everyone and their grandpa in the press centre were throwing their jockstraps at Hänni so I can't wait to see him perform tomorrow.

r244 Veneers, fake tits... she's all fake. But she draped herself in a pride flag so I guess I like her.

Apparently Jonida's eagle has returned but it's just on a LED screen in the background and it's not the same one that scared the shit out of everyone in the press center during the first rehearsals. Watching people reacting to that CGI eagle (which suddenly popped out of nowhere and looked terribly fake) was hilarious. It's just sad we'll never get to see what it looked like.

Here's hottie Jack from wiwibloggs reacting to it:

And the ESCunited guys' reaction:

The press centre being completely dead during Russia's performance (and not in a good way) made me so happy. I need to see that fucker bomb.

R248 What do you think of this conspiracy theory: some people think that Russia is definitely winning on Saturday night because there's no way a star of Sergey Vyacheslavovich's stature would return so soon to Eurovision if he wasn't absolutely sure in winning. And since his song and staging leave much to be desired, some people now think that Russia has already secured their victory by other means (₽ ₽ ₽) and that they're already secretly planning a 2020 Eurovision in St. Petersburg.

Anyway, here's a one minute clip of the Dutch performance. This actually works better on screen than Soldi does:

Holy crap, I've just seen the leaked Croatian performance. That has to be the kitschiest and most over-the-top staging this year (and I mean this as a compliment). Those ripped shirtless angels had me drooling all over my laptop keyboard. I don't think it will qualify (because the song still sucks big time) but I wouldn't be surprised if it does.

r249 I don't believe that for a second. It's just his ego and Russia's immense thirst that have brought him to Tel Aviv. He ain't winning shit. And if he does, I'm legit skipping the show next year.

r250 Oh, boy, that sure is A LOT. I cringed when the guys on the livestream said the gay angels were now painted in gold. And they still don't know how to dress his figure properly. He looks like a fucking pear!

R248: Most of the guys covering eurovision seem to love Sergey (and i think he was the first russian singer not being booed in a long time when he performed in 2016).

But i don't think Russia has a chance. Maybe they will win on televote, but if You are the only one did not that well with juries Scream has no chances to do better. He will end top 5 for sure, but i don't think he'll win.

Of course Eurovision sometimes has wicked ways.

I remember 2002 where a song that was on the last positions on the odds won (great staging, awful song), or the next year where Belgium was the biggest candidate to end with zero votes and ended second only a point behind Turkey (and ahead Tatu).

There are big faves that flop hard, like France some years ago, or even Kate Ryan and Dj Bobo being eliminated in the semifinals.

But in recent years all winners were between the big favourites

This twitter account has clips from many of tonight's performances (the way they're actually gonna look on TV).

I can't believe how underwhelming Italy looks. It just doesn't translate well to TV and those dancers are totally redundant. On the other hand, I'm actually slowly starting to get winner vibes from the Netherlands.

Well, Italy had some problems with the staging two years ago when they were the big favourites. For some reason the performance fell flat (even with that they ended sixth).

There's a spanish tv channel that use Arcade on their promos for some weeks, so for some casual spanish viewers The Netherlands will be more familiar than they think when they will watch the show

Has any reporter asked the German sapphic schwestern what their song is [italic]actually[/italic] about, at the end of the day? I still don't understand and I was even more confused after watching the official music video. Love the subtle shade by the livestream guy: "The harmonies are nice"

But damn, that sentence at the end: "Stay true to yourself... and to your sisters" just about killed me. The cringiest thing I've heard in a while, but then again I avoid the green room chats and interviews in general, so I'm sure there were way worse things said in the past week.

[quote] But damn, that sentence at the end: "Stay true to yourself... and to your sisters" just about killed me.

That's nothing compared to the even cringier line they used at the end of their second rehearsal: "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my sis!" They used it after all three of their run throughs so I'm pretty sure they were going to use it during the actual performance as well, but I'm glad someone talked them out of it.

And unfortunately they got rid of the stock lesbian imagery. Too bad, I was looking forward to having a good laugh over those pics on Saturday.

[quote]"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my sis!"

W-T-F?! Seriously, they need to cut this shit out immediately. Just pick either the lesbionic or the sisterly vibe - this straddling of both at the same time turns my stomach. And that's coming from someone who very much enjoys watching gay incest porn.

I think that line was supposed to be a reference to Spice Girls' "Wannabe". But it just felt out of place and like the cringiest cringe that ever cringed. I think Daddy Serhat and lesbionic Kraut Sistahs are going to fight for the last place this year.

So it looks like Srbuk didn't perform again. I think we won't see Hayastan qualifying, unfortunately. Here's hoping that the jurors realized she had some difficulties and gave her some pity points.

during Dana's "kiss cams", when the 2 men kissed, the Belarus commentator on their national TV said ""Oh, my goodness! Maybe we'd better not watch!".

r259 Deplorable but not surprising. I was wondering how many countries showed that segment and how many had the commercials on at the time.

[bold]Eurovision 2019: Belarus TV host's homophobic remarks condemned[/bold]

[quote]Yavhen Perlin was providing live commentary during the semi-finals on 14 May, when a "kiss-cam" zoomed into affectionate couples during the performance by Israel's transgender pop diva Dana International. "They are sending the kiss-cam across the hall! Let's see what we get!" Mr Perlin said.

[quote]But after the first couple caught by the camera appeared to be two men kissing, the presenter reacted: "Oh, my goodness! Maybe we'd better not watch!" When the camera moved on to a man and a woman having a smooch, he added, with a sense of relief: "Ok, so far so good!" But a few seconds later, another male couple were shown kissing, at which point the presenter exclaimed: "Oh, come on!" He went on to say that he hoped the cameramen will "finally find some cool couples" in the audience.

[quote]As Dana International was performing Bruno Mars's song Just The Way You Are, the Belarusian presenter remarked: "Dana is singing that love has no religion, no boundaries, no racial or any other limits. But you know, I want values to preserve their value, so that love remains love."

As the great Anjelica Huston remarked recently, "You get the face you deserve - have you seen him recently?" Well, I see him in this photo and he looks like a fucking pig, so that's definitely true.

The funniest thing about this Belarus thing is that one of the queeniest guy to ever grace the Eurovision stage came from there:

Czech Hunter 108, Debt Dandy 46, and Dirty Scout 25.

R250 over the top staging and hot shirtless guys are pure Eurovision

But is the camp intentional? I can only get off on it if I know for certain it's not.

The Azeri special efect that everyone is talking about. Is it me or does this actually look fucking awful? This performance must be the most overhyped right now along with the French one.

r266 Looks cheap and awful. From what I've seen of his jury performance, his staging in general looks kitchy to me. I know he'll qualify and he should, but that's about where it stops.

I think the Moldovan hologram looks cooler. Moldova really threw everything but the kitchen sink in their staging this year.

Could barely fall asleep last night as Australia's "hihihihihi" kept repeating in my head.

r268 That looks way cooler, although I can't for the life of me recall what her song sounds like. Not a good sign.

I've seen the Armenian TV clip from last night and it did not look good. Srbuk actually didn't sound bad and I didn't notice her having any technical issues - I think all that pointing to her ears, which some people interpreted as her trying to say she's having earpiece issues, was just part of her choreography. But the staging is a big letdown - she looks a bit awkward wandering around that big stage all alone for 3 minutes and some of her moves look a bit clunky. But I do love the very last shot, where she lets out an angry scream, sassily turns around and walks away.

I'm afraid we can forget about Hayastan qualifying tonight...Which makes me very depressed, because she's still so much better than all of the crap that is guaranteed to go through.

I don't have much hope for the Norwegian song. I don't think we will go through to the final, but I hope I'm wrong.

I know it will be a difficult semi-final to go through (perhaps even the most difficult one since the semi-finals were introduced) but I totally think Norway will make it because they did a great job at the jury show last night. I know the juries usually don't go for schlager-y songs like that one but they really sounded amazing yesterday and I think the juries respected that. I'll definitely keep my fingers crossed for them.

I was wondering when the Norwegian DLer was going to chime in. Tommy has such a sweet voice, I can't wait to hear him tonight.

R273 It seems to me that DL Eurovision threads bring the same small group of people together each year - there's the Norwegian guy from Porsgrunn, the Finn, the Slovenian guy who likes his barely legal twinks, the Spanish guy and a few others.

I think only The Netherlands, Russia, Azerbaijan and Sweden are sure shots on this semifinal

r274 So true! And also the Italian guy who gets really emotionally attached to the Italian entry every year, regardless of how much it sucks. And the Austrian guy with the same problem.

[quote]the Slovenian guy who likes his barely legal twinks

Jesus, that makes me sound [italic]really[/italic] bad but to be fair, Eurovision and only Eurovision brings that out in me. I'm very much into normally-aged Latinos otherwise. That's exactly why Mahmood and the gay host are my favourite ones this year, and all the rest come a distant second.

I think we're heading to Amsterdam next year. The only country which might endanger Duncan's victory is Sweden.

R276: The italian entries rarely suck, they are by far the best country since they return

Still don't understand Sweden's appeal and I get more confused the more I listen to the song. It would make more sense to me as a trio of fabulous female singers, but the male lead singer is such a non-entity on the stage, he just loses me.

r278 Clocked the Italian! Well, that offensive oriental song counts for two full years of suckage, that's how much it sucked.

To be honest i'm a little bit tired of how overrated is sweden on eurovision, but after a not so great first listen the truth is Too late for love is a good song

R279: That song has absolutely nothing of offenssive, it mocked people who deserved to be mocked. It was a funny and catchy song

R274. Yes, I agree. And I'm the Swiss guy who bitches every year that participating countries should be obliged to sing in their native language. Still makes me crazy.

Too Late For Love feels so generic and overly-polished and that is not what gospel-ish music like that should feel like. I think those black mamas should push Lundvik into the fan pit and continue the song without him. It would be a bit more tolerable in that case.

And Lundvik has already been inducted into my "Most Punchable Eurovision Face Hall of Fame", where other artists such as Basim, Alexander Rybak, Isis Gee and Jacques Houdek already reside.

Who's that in the pic?

r280 Oh, I do love you! Knew exactly which button I needed to push and I just couldn't help myself. You can rest in the knowledge that I'm rooting for Mahmood this year, even though I'm iffy on the staging and don't think I should be lectured on pride by someone in a glass closet.

r281 So you're not pleased with Hänni, then? But how can that be? Everyone loves Hänni!

r283 American singer Tamara Gee, née Isis.

R283 Miss Isis Gee, the scary American frau who sang for Poland about a decade ago. She's like every possible American cliché rolled into one: blinding bleached teeth, platinum blonde hair, fake tan and a pair of oversized plastic bolt-ons (and I'm sure she has an annoying vocal fry as well).

You must also check out her Wikipedia page, which has obviously been written by Miss Gee herself (she now goes by the name Tamara Gee). It's mentioned at least 6 different times that her voice has been compared to Celine Dion's in this article.

[quote]And Lundvik has already been inducted into my "Most Punchable Eurovision Face Hall of Fame", where other artists such as Basim, Alexander Rybak, Isis Gee and Jacques Houdek already reside.

That is a supremely strong Backpfeifengesicht lineup. Good job!

Miss Gee recently had her tits enlarged yet again. She's starting to look like an Eastern European porn star.

The Netherlands and Sweden should be two sure one into the final. Less than two hours to show time.

Rooting for The Netherlands, Norway, Ireland, Switzerland, Malta, Azerbaijan, and Macedonia tonight, in that order. Don't care about the rest.

Poor Jurij and his chemsex song. The press centre was so quiet yesterday during the jury show because everyone agrees it's the most generic Eurovision schlock ever.

I’m a New Yorker who championed Francesco Gabbani’s song a few years ago. I thought it was far better than that derivative, saccharin piece of shit by that Portuguese creep. I still do.

For the person upthread asking about who to follow on Twitter during Eurovision, I quite like the TV writer Chris Schleicher. In general, not just during the Grand Final. As for his top song picks, well, it's pretty much what you'd expect from an L.A. homo. Good taste in men, though.

[quote]I’m a New Yorker

Oh?

[quote]who championed Francesco Gabbani’s song a few years ago.

Oh, no.

[quote]Madonna to perform new single 'Future' with Quavo

So instead of Maluma, we're getting this douche? Well, that's just great.

Madonna even had the nerve to kick that annoying Christer Björkman (the contest's producer) out of the hall while rehearsing. Just for that the old hag will always have my respect.

Gay kiss cam repeated in case some deplorable missed it, good!

Assi looking positively radiant after his San Marino facial...

First from the 2nd semi

Flawless vocals but the shirtless gay dancers from the music video are where?!

The Irish chick looks scary.

The Irish songstress is a bit of a space cadet, isn't she? Nice voice, though, but pretty one-note.

That sand gimmick looks silly, because it's not even done live - that thing we see in the background has been prerecorded and the sand lady only fakes it.

I can't believe the Moldovan singer is 27. She has nasolabial folds of a 45-year old.

But I'm impressed by how good her English pronunciation is because she doesn't even speak English. Other artists who have to travel around with interpreters this year are Joci, Chingiz and Srbuk (but Srbuk did say that she started taking English lessons 4 months ago).

I wish Moldova would have had little more variations in its song. She had voice for it.

R296, that San Marino dancer is only good as a cum depot. I gather Assi and Alberto are lining him up for a party following the final, where he will be paid a handsome sum to get fucked by the singer from Spain whilst blowing Victor Crone. And of course at least 50 of the Israeli velvet mafia will be in attendance to enjoy the spectacle.

Gays in Tel Aviv scream when Swiss hottie entered.

HÄNNI !!!

[quote]But I'm impressed by how good her English pronunciation is because she doesn't even speak English.

Yes, that is genuinely amazing.

The Swiss twink looks so tiny. I think I read somewhere he's 165 cm tall.

Such a sexist song but it makes me dance so what can I do?

That female dancer behind Luca with the scary grin on her face already danced with Eleni last year.

Remember me?

The gays in the audience couldn't believe what just happened, such is the power of Hänni.

Latvia’s song would be suitable for a bar in Riga. Nice but not the right arena. R311 Hänni sold it to those gays in front. Those places are sold to people who are part of ESC fan club.

r304 You took me THERE with that description!

I can't believe EBU allowed them to film the Romanian postcard on Golan Heights.

Israel has mountains and snow?!

Those flamethrowers are completely out of pace, Romania.

*place, even

Romania’s singer is from Quebec. Will she follow Céline’s footsteps? I doubt it. I remember Céline’s performance in 1988 and thoughts who is she? What a voice!

One of Romania's dancers...

R315 Golan Heights are Syrian territory that has been occupied by Israel since 1967.

The Romanian singer looked so pretty on the orange carpet. It's a shame she always looks so scary onstage.

Thanks, R313!

Sweden! Always one of the favorite. The singer wrote UK’s song, too. Sweden always sends top songs,

What schlock this is. And why did it take half a song for those ladies to join him?

Swedish songs usually appeal to people with very lowbrow taste. I made my mom (who's a typical middle-aged frau with horrible taste in music) listen to some of this year's songs a few days ago and she said the Swedish song is the only one she liked.

She's like Paul the Octupus of Eurovision because her favorites always end in top 3 so I'm afraid that annoying negro might actually win.

Maybe she (Austria) could have tried an octave lower?

Austria's is too intense and breathy for Eurovision.

Holy shit, did you hear her MURDER that one note just now?!

I can see Austria as one of the shock qualifiers.

Topless golden male dancers with wings! The singer is good and deserved better song and better stylist.

Roko has all the potential to make a cute twink but that haircut and outfit make him look like a middle-aged lesbian.

Gay angels are looking... cummy. As in, covered in cum.

Malta had a nice postcard. She's a bit flat on the lower notes, though.

Wow, the Maltese staging was pure eye-candy. It's just a shame they didn't go with some more experienced singer because Michaela didn't really look relaxed on that stage and she looks like the kind of a person who'd be more fit to sing ballads. If some better singer performed that song with staging like that they'd actually have a chance to win this whole thing.

And another sad thing about Malta was Miss Destiny Chukunyere, who provided backvocals for her. This girl sounds like young Aretha Franklin (and she already won the Junior Eurovision a few years ago) so to have someone like her providing backvocals hidden somewhere in the backstage for Michaela (who is a far inferior singer) just seems wrong.

Damn, Jurij jumped from a plane for his postcard? I like him so much but his song sucks.

Next hot one, Juru. I couldn’t choose who I would take to my bed but I wouldn’t send him away from my door. Wide range in vocals.

I actually liked Lithuania and its simple staging (and I'm not saying that just because I have 30 bucks riding on him qualifying). Can you imagine a country like Azerbaijan staging a song called "Run with the Lions"? They'd probably have their singer running away from CGI lion holograms on the stage.

Jurijus' face was more than enough to keep me entertained for 3 minutes.

Hate him, hate the song, and hate the steppe he rode out of. Go home already, you thirsty bitch.

Russia, can one forget the politics and enjoy the song? Sergey has good voice and the song is well produced.

That water cabin part of the Russian performance looks unintentionally hilarious. He looks like a mental institution patient they are giving a shock cold shower to.

Israel has waterfalls?!

R339 continues, so difficult to like Russia because I hate the politics of the country. Sorry, I can’t. But it will get to the final and will get lots of votes from Eastern Europe.

I can definitely see now why Jonida's teeth made such an impression on everyone during the rehearsals. You almost need sunglasses to look at her mouth.

She probably won't qualify but damn, what a set of pipes on that one! And I fucking love the sound of Albanian langauge.

That last note in the Albanian song sounded a bit odd.

The lovely Tom next!

Norway has parts in its song which are close to Finland’s song from few years ago.

The Norwegian chick's singing of that intro has improved so much since their national selection, good for her.

Tom's femmy voice makes me so happy. That stag in the back looked gorgeous.

Yaaaaassss, KeiiNO slayed! I'll throw a major bitch fit if this doesn't go through.

R346 You're probably talking about Saara Aalto's song from last year. The choruses do sound very similar.

Winner next!

Norway is good!

The Netherlands, might win this year. Big favorite. I like this a lot. And next cute singer.

R349 Yes. I forgot it was last year.

Holland feels super boring after that bop from Norway.

I can see Holland winning but the song is just a bit too meh for me. And that lamp looked like something that came from IKEA. It reminded me of Valentina Monetta's lamp from 2013 (which actually was bought in IKEA).

Super Important Song from Macedonia.

Former Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia has the most boring song this year. But I'm sure the juries will eat this shit up, with its female empowerment message.

I still can't decide if I find the Dutch guy cute or not.

He said in an interview that he was often bullied as a kid because he was fat, freckled and wore braces.

Azerbaijan never shies away from sex appeal. Shameless selling. Hot singers big show sell well.

Chingiz looks so hot but that's pretty much the only likeable thing about the Azerbaijan this year.

I'm glad he got rid of that gross mane he was sporting in the past.

The Azerbaijani guy would be a killer entry if he could dance.

Oh, boy, they showed the worse notes for Albania's entry just now.

Anyone brave enough to post his predictions?

I'm going with: Switzerland, Sweden, Austria, Malta, Lithuania, Russia, Norway, the Netherlands, Former Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, Azerbaijan

I think Romania will sneak in too (thanks to its diaspora) but I'm not sure whose place she'll take (I sure hope it won't be a country like Norway).

Is Lior Suchard the Israeli Derren Brown or something? I stan a scamming queen.

Vote for Lithuania, bitches. If I lose those 30 pounds I'll have to survive on nothing but ramen noodles and water until my next paycheck rolls in.

Already jealous of the guy who will get to console Jurij after tonight's disappointment.

I want to know about previous set fixtures bought at Ikea.

Ha, Assi used the Insta photo I posted at r13 for Mahmood!

Italian song doesn’t seem to work on stage at all. Who chose his shirt?

Michael Rice's accent sounds pretty grating.

Poor English lad out of tune off key.

WIkipedia says he's from Durham. That makes sense - Brit accents from those parts are pretty awful.

Michael RIce was pretty shit in that clip, actually, and he usually sounds amazing.

r369 He apparently changes the shirt for every performance in Tel Aviv so he'll wear something else on Saturday. It did look very heavy and stiff with that gold splurged over it.

FFYROM's first qualification since 2012. I'm kind of happy for them.

So weird, starting with Macedonia like that.

Duncan!

Sofia Vergara of Albania is in too!

Albania, a shocking qualifier.

Sweden, gross.

DENMARK?! No fucking way. People who voted for that twee shit deserve to die a painful death.

So glad the Viking trio got in.

Azeri guy showing off his guns, he's so fucking dumb but I love him.

Denmark, WTF?!

Munchkin from Switzerland is in too.

Hot guys in the final. R381 great arms as Swedish guy

OF COURSE Hänni's magic butt got through.

It was so sad to see Srbuk on the verge of tears just now.

Nooooooo, Lithuania is out! MY MONEY!!! You can't even rely on Lithuania's once mighty diaspora these days.

Denmark is tonight's San Marino. That ugly figure-skating bitch took Austria and Armenia's place.

The two Norwegian guys look like such fun. The Russian guy is all alone on the stage because no one likes him. The curse of the striving necrotic narcissist, I suppose.

r387 Armenia, maybe, but Austria? No, she botched that song almost as bad as the Albanian singer.

I'm very happy for Norway, and very sad for Armenia (in my opinion way better than any of the songs of the first semifinal).

I'm not too fond of the swiss song but they deserved to qualify after so many years of dissapointments. But with Cyprus, Switzerland and Malta probably two and maybe the three are going to flop in the final.

I still don't understand the appeal of Denmark, it's a cute song but in this semifinal she should have been eliminated

Denmark has one of those "normal" songs that the normies love so much. But yes, it's an outrage that it's qualified.

That Danish cunt's song felt more suited for a Junior Eurovison.

Did the cameraman really have to show us teary-eyed Srbuk? That sight made me seriously depressed - it was just shocking to see someone who looks so badass and powerful on the stage in such a fragile state. I haven't been this upset by someone not qualifying ever since the Montenegrin astrounauts failed to go through to the final in 2013.

I see exactly three reasons why this one qualified: the L.A. veneers, the left tit, and the right tit. She looks like a porn star and straight guys want to motorboat that shit BAD.

Jonida should give the Danish cunt her dentist's phone number. I'd gladly take Jonida's veneers over Leonora's jacked up teeth anytime.

Why did the audience go WOAH when Hänni first came onto the stage? Did all that deep red come as a shock to their system or was it something else? Were they blinded by his charisma? Seemed weird.

r394 Aww, I like her janky teeth. So much more character in them than in Jonida's standard-order chompers. It's her dead eyes that get to me, though.

Lucca and Tommy sitting together at the presser. 😍

I think we underestimated Jonida's chances of qualification because we didn't understand the lyrics of her song - her song is all about calling the Albanians who live scattered across the world back home (its title actually means "Return to the Land").

I'm sure it really struck a chord with the Albanian diaspora and made even the Shqips who usually don't pick up the phone and vote do so.

Was it the first time Duncan said he was bisexual openly?

The garish Balmain whore on Sergey's right... Who is she? Where did you find her?!

r398 Watching the presser on mute as it's too cringe for me. Did someone really ask him about that? But yeah, he's mentioned it before.

Prepare for the inevitable Jacques Houdek annual FB meltdown - Roko already spoke up about having some serious problems with fog machine during his performance, which left out so much smoke it was literally suffocating him at the beginning of his performance.

Here's the comparison between yesterday's jury show and tonight's performance. Something definitely didn't look right tonight.

r400 Yes, it's the lack of fog at the start that did it! Ooh, how I hate that bitch Houdek.

That reminds me of Nina Sublatti's smoke machine back in 2015, which went bonkers and accidentally let out so much fog it made her almost invisible in wide shots.

R399 The presser didn't ask him but he said he wanted to use Eurovision as opportunity to present himself to the people that he wasn't just a songwriter and that he was bisexual.

R401 You got it wrong - the screencap above is from yesterday's show and the one below is from tonight. The problem today is that there was TOO MUCH smoke.

R399 Philipp Kirkorov

[quote][R399] Philipp Kirkorov

and on his left Katerina Orlova, head of the Russian delegation

r405 Thanks! So fab. Can he be Jon Ola Sand's successor? Serious question.

Kirkorov with his BFF.

Why didn't they paint the Croatian angels all in gold? Like I've said upthread, those random splotches just look like dried crusty semen to me. Though I'm sure the angels are being Ubered to Assi's residence as I type, along with Jurij, so no tears from them tonight.

r408 I stan a quisling queen!

I wouldn't be surprised if Russkies actually think Kirkorov is straight. They've been brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is something that exists only in the west, while queeny East European guys are only "artistic" a bit (or still looking for the right girl). That's why Russians and Ukrainians find local drag queens like Verka Serduchka hilarious but others like Conchita Wurst gross.

R409 I agree, that make-up did look weird. And it looks even stranger when viewed from up-close.

r410 Wow, you aren't joking, that sucks even from up-close. They should've just stopped at the golden foundation. Which itself didn't translate at all on TV, by the way.

A loveable oaf.

The staging for the Croatian staging was ludicrous but I actually liked the song itself over most of the others. And, yeah, the song from North Macedonia is a bit too smug but the melody is OK and the singer was very good. Not a fan of the Netherlands or Swedish entries-both completely derivative and tuneless.

I'm so happy the Norwegian song made it to the final.

R414 Congratulations! Norway remains the only Scandinavian country which sends decent songs to Eurovision from time to time.

Here's the running order of the songs for tomorrow's grand final. Poor Malta has been sacrificed for the opening slot, while Miki will expectedly be closing the show. Sergey Vyacheslavovich and his plexiglass shower cabin will be on as #5, meaning no one will remember that shitty song anymore by the end of the show.

R415 Thanks :) It's Norwegian Constitution Day today too, so this was good news. Gratulerer med dagen 🇳🇴

I'm a Francophile but that French song makes me wanna barf

The Norwegian and the Dutch songs are the only ones I've rewatched multiple times since last night and I can't believe I missed Tom botching one of the lines. Nerves? Oh, and I've rewatched the Austrian one as well, but only because I couldn't believe how badly she ruined that one note.

Biggest shock of the evening for me? Honestly, it might have been seeing Michael Rice murder his song in the prerecorded bit from the rehearsals. What the hell happened there?

R415: Five is not a bad position to sing, one and two are like the kiss of death and the best positions are 12 and 13.

I think The Netherlands has the potential to be an european hit if it wins

Australia is second to last, is that a good spot?

r420 Yes, a very good spot! Anything around the middle and then towards the end has a good chance of leaving an impression on people.

Victor Crone just posted a video on Instagram singing on his guitar crosslegged with bare feet. Jesus, he’s got beautiful feet.

Which doesn't mean at all the song is going to have a good reception, but yes, it's better than the first spots.

I still remember Amaia when they told her they will sing the second, she described it very well when she said Shit

I'm just so delighted that the Albanian porn star who ruined her own song last night got the death spot. She sacrificed her tits so that the others could live.

R416 Never heard of that holiday before so I did a quick online research on it:

[quote] After the Napoleonic Wars, the defeated Denmark-Norway (the countries were part of the same union at the time, and were also known as Oldeburg Monarchy) was to cede Norway to Sweden. Rather than allow that to happen, Norway declared themselves an independent kingdom through their Constitution in 1814.

Whew, you Norgies really dodged a bullet there, didn't you? Imagine being ceded to a country that keeps sending crap like John Lundvik to Eurovision... Now I feel like celebrating that holiday too, because if that thing hadn't happened back in 1814 we probably wouldn't have the chance to admire these three at this year's Eurovision:

This made me chuckle. Anyone know why Duncan was dressed so plainly, like a pensioner? You can go for understated and let the song speak for itself AND still wear something more stylish and suited to the event.

In unrelated news, I wish the Swiss song were more bisexual in nature so I could stan it harder. My inner feminist keeps shaking his head every time I start dancing to that song.

Is the guy who composed/sings the Swedish entry and wrote the UK entry an American?

R426: The comment is very unfortunate because the truth is Australia needs all that staging to hide the fact that the song is terribly bad while the Netherlands has a great song and doesn't need to focus in anything else

r427 He's Swedish. Born in London and adopted by Swedish parents when he was a week old.

His full name is John Hassim Lundvik.

Anemic kids from Slovenia held an emergency press conference yesterday, where they apologized for their press conference rudeness and said they were misunderstood. I'm afraid these two won't remember this Eurovision in a very positive way.

r428 I know, the meme falls apart the more you think about it. Like someone upthread observed, she basically has four songs stitched together, and badly at that. It's hardly a song in my mind.

The Netherlands now stands a 47% winning chance in the betting odds. I'm sorry, but this is getting ridiculous because even though it's a good song it doesn't really stand out THAT much. Even Loreen and Lena (who everyone knew were gonna be surefire winners) didn't fare this well with the bookies.

r431 That essay of an apology made me laugh, it was so predictable and inevitable. I do get depressed reading the comments back home, with people saying they're the most "normal" act in this whole "freakshow". As if normalcy is the highest of virtues in life. They will never understand the fabulousness of Eurovision - of having all these diverse acts coming together just to have some mindless fun and celebrate our differences and laugh at ourselves. Oh, well.

R433: I totally disagree,. In my opinion is one of the best songs in recent years and has a lot of potential to become a huge hit

R435 That's never gonna happen. Arcade isn't exactly the kind of song mainstream radio stations in Europe go for.

When I first listened to Arcade, it reminded of Billie Eilish's lovely. While it probably won't be played as much as the upbeat counterpart, I think it has it market on the radio.

*its

Oh, but this video is just hysterical. And I actually thought it was real until Croatia's entry.

I don’t get it. I just don’t think the Dutch entry is all that special. It sounds like a million other songs.

Duncan Lawrence is gross and his song is boring. Hatari is Eurovision 2019.

It's Duncan LAURENCE. But I actually prefer his birth name, which is Duncan de Moor.

R441 Apparently Hatari got quite a few booes in the arena the other night. One reporter said that German Eurovision fans seemed particulary hostile to the song. I'm not saying that the Germans (with their love for schlager music) reflect the average person's musical tastes but I still think it's a much too divisive song to finish anywhere near the top. I hope I'm wrong.

In what way is Duncan "gross"? I don't think his song is anything special, but it's still in my Top 5. I always adjust my faves based on the venue I'd like to see the competition take place next year, so this year my final ranking looks like this:

Australia* > Italy > Iceland > Norway > The Netherlands > Switzerland > Spain

*Competition would take place in the second-placed country, so Italy. If Italy is unable or unwilling, it would probably take place in Germany, which is also nice.

We pray for Italia organizing again. LAst time it was such a epic fail that we love to remember

In other news from Tel Aviv, witnesses report that Miss Hassani seems to have a bit of a crush on Mahmood and is acting like a silly smitten schoolgirl around him.

These two both seem like bossy bottoms to me so I'm not sure things would ever work out between them.

Are you referring to Gabbani’s song, R445? It was NOT an epic fail, it just peaked too soon.

R445 I think he was referring to the hot mess that the Eurovision 1991 contest held in Rome was. The one held in Yugoslavia a year earlier wasn't much better.

I love how r445 was probably referring to the 1991 Eurovision competition in Rome and yet r447 - yet again - made it all about that awful song. That's so hilarious to me.

I never get tired of watching the opening number (which was Spain) from the 1990 Eurovision. That was a technical screw-up of epic proportions.

r446 Everyone wants to fuck him. He must be exuding some serious sexual magnetism in person because the livestream guys in the press centre yesterday seemed smitten with him, and one of them looked like a schoolgirl after Mahmood finished his performance.

We'll see if the straight masses fall for his enchanting hole tomorrow as well.

R449, STFU. It was a good song. It was a favorite going into the competition. That ended up backfiring on it. Go jjerk off to your iPad pic of the Swiss kid, hon, there’s a good boy.

Holland has a good song but Spain has a party song, funny and simple. I like both.

r452 Twas deplorable, appropriating garbaggio. And it was probably you who got mad when I called the song racist during the Grand Final that year here on DL. You told me that the gorilla wasn't racist, when I wasn't even talking about the gorilla, which was my favourite part about that damn trainwreck. One of my all-time favourite DL moments, for sure.

The closer we get to the main event, the higher the passions and the tensions. It's exactly what makes this time so fun for me; all the people who take their national entries super seriously. Like Oscar season, only more nationalistic and closer to home.

Looks like the security in Israel isn't really all that it's cracked up to be. I hope this means there's still a chance we'll get to see any stage invasions this year too. Those are always so much fun.

r455 Heard about that on the livestream.

[quote]According to the eyewitnesses the security personnel was of the impression that the men had ”taken a wrong turn” after what they called ”a misunderstanding”.

Yeah, I squeeze through openings in chained fences all the time when I take a wrong turn as well, sure.

Does anyone know if the non-qualifying acts and their delegations return home immediately after the semis, or do they stay in the host city with the finalists?

I know I've joked about Jurij's song being about PnP but I pulled up its lyrics earlier today and it struck me that it's actually a powerful song about homosexual love in an unaccepting place. As such, it (or rather its remixed dance version) should be treated as a gay anthem, imho.

R457 I think most of them head straight back home. Remember, that's the taxpayers' money they're spending and I doubt people back home would be amused by admiring their instagram antics even after failing to reach the final.

But I see Mr Veklenko obviously doesn't have such reservations. I just hope he didn't forget his sunscreen because those Baltic boys and their delicate pale skin tend to burn to a crisp in the sun. People who watched his rehearsals on livestreams actually commented that he was getting more and more tanned by each rehearsal.

Switzerland is currently leading but the Netherlands is catching up on iTunes.

R436: Arcade is exactly the kind of song that european radios will air right now. It's the same type of song Someone you loved me is which is a huge success in UK and in other european countries

R443: In my opinion the bad reactions to Hatari had more to do with their comments about Israel governments. The style is not exactly eurovisive, but neither was Hungary last year

It was published that the difference between the 10th and the 11th in the second semifinal was just one point. Seven of the ten countries were in the top 10 of juries and televote

r458 The sunscreen was not strong enough, apparently.

[quote]Remember, that's the taxpayers' money they're spending and I doubt people back home would be amused by admiring their instagram antics even after failing to reach the final.

Hadn't even thought about that. Of course, then it does make much more sense for them to fuck off back home immediately, preferably under the cover of darkness because they've let down their country. Except Azerbaijan, that is. They don't give a shit about no stinkin' public financial accountability. "Audit? Never heard of her."

R459 I see the Swedish and French songs have charted in Mauritius, of all places. Where the hell did that come from? Do those dodos watch Eurovision too?

r460 But why would the German fans get upset with Hatari's comments about Israel? Okay, yes, I know how Israel happened, but do young German gays really give a shit about that now ancient covfefe still?

Agree with you that the Dutch song has underrated radio potential and shouldn't be dismissed on that front.

I think Germany is the big favourite to end last.

i was watching a poll on a spnaish newspaper and here the faves are The Netherlands, Switzerland, Italy, Sweden and Norway. Of course the spanish jury will vote whatever they feel, because they are known for their random votes and to avoid voting for winners a lot of times. Anyway i think spanish 12 points will go to Italy (it won't be the first time)

Can whoever is styling Michael Rice stop with the super fitted jeans already? So unflattering. It's even worse from the side.

He is a little chubby but not bad looking. He would look way better with a different style

I find the British guy very cute but he does seem to suffer from a pretty extreme case of knock-knees.

Miss Wurst has arrived, looking butcher than ever.

Bookies right now are asking themselves whether Switzerland or the Netherlands won the televote.

R462 I guess to be 100th on Mauritius iTunes is enough to have 2 buyers?

The scariest moment from last night's show. She went full 'tard there for a few seconds.

R468: Conchita is a drag queen and if you want to look femenine you don't let a beard grow

R471: At least she seems happy (in an akward way) which is way better than the dullness of the Slovenian duo (they could watch all the stage burn without moving a muscle of their faces)

I honestly don't even like thinking about the two Slovenian zombies too much because even the sight of them is so unsettling. Hopefully we never see or hear from them again after this. I mean, he's still invited to my cock if/when he inevitably switches teams. He's kinda cute but Morticia is sapping the life force right out of him.

Heard Serhat singing during the rehearsal earlier and he sounded like an actual singer? So I don't know what happened on Tuesday when he basically spoke the lyrics. I want to see him in full trolling glory tomorrow, even though I'm still pissed that he's qualified.

Stop picking on those poor kids - they're anemic, for Christ's sake (and probably also slightly autistic).

I still find them adorable, in all their rudeness and awkwardness (but I sure as hell wouldn't want to know them in real life).

But I'd love to know Miss Alexandra Rotan of KeiiNO. I want her to be my fag hag! And God knows she could use a few extra gays in her life, to help her with her often misguided fashion choices. It seems to me that Tom isn't much of a help in that department.

R473: I thought i was the only one that found him cute, he is strangely handsome

r475 She looks like she's walking on her stumps there. Love Tom but he's too basic to be of much help. And I don't know why he isn't posting anything from Tel Aviv on his Insta.

The cute guy who delivered the fake Austrian votes tonight has quite a potty mouth. I hope he won't try to pull the same stunt tomorrow as well.

The host's reply to his f-bomb was also funny:

[quote] Thank you Philipp, I guess we won't be seeing you tomorrow.

By the way, the winner of the fake voting tonight was [drumroll please] DENMARK! I guess we're going to Kobenhavn again next year, bitches!

Leonora's stand-in was almost as scary as the real one is.

I hope Norway's technical difficulties during the jury show don't cost them too many points.

Serhat sounded shit again. Better than on Tuesday, but worse than earlier today.

Let's hope Australia flops in the final! Why does Australia even get to compete.

We do this drill every year: because they tuned into the show so many times through the years and in such high numbers, that they got invited to take part. Never understood the Australia hatred; it's just a fun little competition. The more, the merrier!

I'm so glad to hear Italy's staging (mainly the dancing) and camerawork have been polished because that was pretty atrosh up to this point. And I was so happy he extended and used the Adele cow voice on that "solo ora so cosa SEEEEI" line. That was my very first suggestion when I first heard his song months ago. It's the most orgasmic part of the song to me, and he'd be nuts not to lean into it more.

Just because the Aussies have enjoyed it in their multitudes from their couches didn’t entitle them to take part, though. It’s called EUROVISION. Yeah, yeah, I think Israel should never have been allowed to participate, either. I know it’s because they’re a member of the European Broadcast Union but still.

It didn't entitle them, hence the invitation extended from the EBU in the spirit of camaraderie and cooperation. Armenia lies in Western Asia and also takes part.

Everyone has fun so what's the harm, exactly?

Israel is a member of most European sports federations and regularly participates in European championships so I don't find it odd at all. Morocco and Lebanon were also allowed to participate in ESC.

Speaking of the 1990 ESC, I reenacted Tajci's routine at my high school reunion last June.

[quote]Speaking of the 1990 ESC, I reenacted Tajci's routine at my high school reunion last June.

r486 How fabulous. I remember doing that shit all the time as a gayling, years after it was performed at Eurovision.

I remember when Pete Waterman picked that as his favourite Eurovision song that year. Probably thinking: "Hmmm, Sonia could do wonders with this!"

For the shitshow that Rome ESC 1991 was, I will always remember it fondly for giving us this brilliant song. Somebody should be tried for crimes against humanity for declaring that Swedish frau cow the winner.

R480 Norwegian delegation made two requests to repeat the performance, both of them denied by the EBU. It was just a blink-and-you-miss-it technical glitch, but still - can you imagine something like that happening to those Swedish fuckers? They'd be granted another performance without even having to ask for it. Oh, why do these technical mishaps always have to happen to my favorites - first it was Srbuk and now KeiiNO.

And the smoke machine had another Nina Sublatti moment during the Serbian performance and oversmoked her a bit. That machine must have something against Ex-Yu performers this year - first it nearly suffocated Roko the other night and then Nevena.

Nice to see Tajci has so many fans around here but unfortunately she's turned into a religious nut after moving to the US. Her bloody website is even called iDoBelieve.com

r491 I can't fucking believe that. Scammed her way right into the US, the deplorable cunt. But she lives in Nashville now so it's not all paradise. I suspect her husband who died two years ago was her meal ticket and now that's gone.

Since we're discussing religious nuts, Israeli rabbis aren't happy about Eurovision desecrating the Shabbat. The chief rabbi now want shabbat to be extended for 20 minutes tonight, to make up for that unspeakable desceration.

[quote] “Due to the great desecration that will take place on the upcoming Sabbath because of the Eurovision song contest, I ask each and every person to refrain from doing work 10 minutes before lighting candles and ten minutes after the end of the Sabbath,” Lau said in a lecture in the central city of Modiin.

r493 I knew that was a thing but thought it lasted all day. At least there's some sanity in the comments section, so that was nice to see.

But you gotta love how inventive the Jews are when it comes to tricking the Shabbat laws. Shabbat elevators are an especially ingenious invention.

I can't remember anymore which singer exactly said that in an interview but one of the contestants of the 1999 Eurovision in Jerusalem said that their hotel room was located on the highest floor of the buiding and that it took them forever to reach the ground with those elevators on the shabbat.

Only 4.5 hours to go! EUPHORIAAAAA!

I learned today that there's an actual term for the condition that's slowly starting to creep over me even before the Grand Final: PDE - Post-Eurovision Depression. I shouldn't have gotten so involved, but I've got no one but myself (and the enabling OP) to blame.

The Belarus jury has been dismissed for the Grand FInal because they were naughty and released their Tuesday's semi-final points. This is going to hurt Russia the most, right? Perfect.

R498 Belarus usually gives Russia 12 pts.

[quote]An aggregated result approved by the auditors will be used in order to determine to whom the Belarusian votes will be allocated.

Complicated but I guess there's no other way to get those points.

I bet Måns says this to every foreign journo and hopes no one will do a supercut of him lying to everyone's face.

But if he seriously prefers the Slovenian entry to friggin' Soldi, then he's an actual homophobe, sorry not sorry.

Is that a Slovenian journalist he was talking to? He probably told the BBC guys the same thing, that the British song is his favorite, the KAN guys that the Israeli song is his favorite, the RTÉ guys that the Irish chick is his favorite and so on. Those guys really like to kiss the media's ass.

I was once reading a funny blog written by two Eurovision bloggers who said they had a nice drink with a TV commentator from some country and said to him that the song from his country was a favorite of theirs, which made that guy almost jumping for joy (in reality they absolutely hated that particular song and they used it for toilet/snack breaks during the rehearsals). And a few hours later that same commentator bumped into those two bloggers, just as they were sneaking out of the arena before the rehearsals for that song began and the poor commentator guy had a really disappointed look on his face - he realized he was being lied to. The way that article was written was really funny.

But if you're from Slovenia you'll probably be interested to hear that Hatari named "Laibach" as one of the groups/people that inspired their performance. The whole list of people they named was:

[quote] Noam Chomsky, Naomi Klein, Ragnar Kjartansson, Theresa May, Laibach, Rage Against The Machine, Spice Girls, Donald Trump

Knowing the Belarus jury votes - Czech Republic, Estonia, Georgia, I'm ready for a big disappointment tonight.

My heart is hoping for an upset tonight but my brain keeps bringing up the betting odds. Not gonna lie, I'm going to be a bit deflated if the Dutch win, even though I quite like their song.

r503 Lol at Trump and May. Those two inspired the lyrics, I'm sure.

I lost my faith in the national juries a few years ago when that video of the Russian jury came out. No one even paid attention to the jury show that was being broadcasted on the TV for them, they were all busy doing other stuff and scrolling through their phones. And when the Armenian song came on one of the jurors said something like: "I'm giving them 12 points, because my husband's Armenian". So much for professionalism...

Is the Norgie guy still with us? I have a question for him about these fabulous outfits. I presume the skirt-like thing Fred is wearing is a Sami folk costume but what about the other two - which region do those costumes come from?

r506 That's only to be expected from that shithole but I was disappointed to learn something similar about the Spanish jury recently. They allegedly don't like giving high scores to the favourite to win even if that entry is technically the best. Very unprofessional.

The Norgie guy better avert his gaze during the German entry. I know from my Gentleman Jack thread that he's quite squamish when it comes to lesbians on TV. Or maybe just lesbians on HBO? I don't know, that distinction kinda got lost in all the shouting.

But incestuous lesbian sisters trigger me as well, so we'll be having the vapours together this one evening at least.

So many of my favourites in one photo.

Christ, this last hour and a half is going to fucking DRAG, isn't it?

Hänni's epic crow's feet remind me not to miss out on my glycolic acid routine, regardless of how long into the night the Grand Final will go.

So it's between Netherlands and Switzerland? No one else has a chance?

R512 Australia still second in the odds, I think, just ahead of Switzerland

I hate Russia's song but I'm stunned it's behind Switzerland in the odds. Must be a small difference, right?

Norgie must still be getting over the Constitution Day hangover in his bed. And he probably knows that there are enough people in this thread stanning for KeiiNO, so he can afford to arrive a little late.

I'm going to be heartbroken when Bilal inevitably bombs. And then I'm going to cackle my ass off. Because I contain multitudes.

Jealous, bitches?

I hate to sound like a mean girl but I don't like how the media is shoving all these fat girls down out throats: Bilal's ballerina this year, Netta last year, Chrissy Metz, Tess Holliday etc.

I have nothing against fat people but I'm not fine with celebrating obesity like that, because it's just not healthy to be fat or to even send out a message that it's OK to be. I know some people gain weight because of certain medical conditions but in most cases being fat is a personal choice.

r517 Totally agree. Body positivity is nice and all but we're literally celebrating a serious health condition here. You can accept yourself as you are and then work on your body further based on that self-acceptance. After all, if you love your body so much, shouldn't you want only the best for it? And speaking of...

I'm seeing people posting all these huge snack platters on social media for their Eurovision viewing parties and my inner DLer is like "Enjoy being FAT, bitch!"

In addition to that Swedish stream posted at r39, the German stream on Eurovision.de apparently works for Americans as well. So you can give that one a try and see which one you prefer quality- and commentary-wise.

The opening and the interval act are apparently AMAZING so be sure not to take toilet breaks at that time. I for one have my trusted pee bottle on standby.

The livestream guys are saying the Belarusian jury votes are going to be aggregated from the Belarusian jury votes of previous years. So Russia should be fine, I guess. Bummer.

R520 Madonna amazing?

r521 No, not Madonna; the acts that Israel has prepared. They haven't seen Madonna's rehearsal to be able to judge its quality.

R522 okay. I’m sure those are performances are great.

More info from my country’s public tv broadcasting this: Show will open with airplane where last year’s winner will bring those who perform in today’s final. During break four famous ECS competitor’s including Måns will perform each other’s songs.

R501: Well, at least Netta is consistent with loving the Spanish song

Showtime!

Flag ceremony? What is this, the fucking Olympics?

Dana!

Given the reaction on tiunes it seems Switzerland is going to do well on televote (which should mean Cyprus and Malta tank), curiously i think the juries will go for Malta (juries love Malta) and not for Switzerland

I don't know how old people in this thread are but I have a question for possible older gentlemen - when did Eurovision start to become so closely associated with the gay community? Was it with Dana winning in 1998 or even before that?

The Dutch guy in his sad drab outfit again.

Norway!

No one cheered for Iceland, fuck.

R527: You must be kidding, people love flags on eurovision , in 2015 you can barely watch the singers between an ocean of flags

r530 Interesting question. I'd like to know that as well.

R530 I guess it depends on country. I live in Scandinavia and here it has always been also family thing. Families sat in front of tv set watching ESC every year.

Estonia has the ugliest flag. Why the fuck would anyone put black on a flag?

[quote] I live in Scandinavia and here it has always been also family thing. Families sat in front of tv set watching ESC every year.

People who think this is a family show are in for a shock tonight when Hatari comes on:

Everyone freaking out because Euron of GoT was shown in that montage.

Can't believe how much money Malta spent on advertising this song on the web. Imagine not caring about public finances like that?

r537 That's going to be amazing and Klemens nailed the vocals yesterday.

Okay but this is low-key an amazing song, right?

Those ads for Malta were super annoying but I LOVED that! I'm glad Michaela managed to pull through that performance because Malta had some serious technical issues with that video wall - they did their first rehearsal with the video wall, the second one without it (because it was causing them too much problems) and then they decided to go with the wall again.

Each artist can have an additional rehearsal if they're having issues like that (and many countries asked for those this year) but they can have no more than one, because that would give them unfair advantage over the others. But that rule doesn't apply to the technical team so those guys had to do some serious overtime on the Maltese number, using a stand-in for Michaela.

Kobi Marimi's LED screens were also causing many problems (as recently as yesterday) so I really hope they'll get them to work properly today.

2 the spot of death. Nobody won singing in the second spot, and in the last years nobody was even top 20

Get your sunglasses out - Miss Jonida and her shiny veneers are up next!

Jonida is at her tittiest right now; it's all downhill in her life from here.

She sounds on point and isn't butchering the song like at the semis.

Please tell me the Shawn Mendes look-alike in the presentational film is legal.

Ouch, Miss Albania hit another bum note. Nice tits, though.

Yasss, she sounded amazing. It's a shame the producers sacrificed two great songs like that to open the show.

Boy band

Cute BelAmi boys!

Czech Republic has cute twinks

so far SOOOOO boring

Sorry, I just cannot with the Czech guy's accent during the spoken part. The only song that makes me cringe.

Daddies will vote

r550 Have you seen their porn? VERY prolific gays over there.

[quote] Christer Björkman and Jon Ola Sand deciding the running order for every country besides NL and Sweden

Oh, here we go with the German "sisters". This should be something...

are they really sisters?

R557 They're more of a "scissor sisters".

These lesbian sistahs are the worst thing to come from Vaterland since Henry Kissinger.

I can't wait to see which cheesy line they're using at the end of the song tonight.

This should be called "Cysters" to be more in touch with what's happening in the American drag world right now. Just because.

r559 They stopped with those lines during rehearsals so we'll see if they say anything tonight.

First no stock lesbian pics and now no cringe-y lines? Damn, that was anticlimactic.

honestly so far everyone is terribly basic

At least they were awake while performing, as opposed to the chick from malta

Now preparing for the American gays on Twitter to have their jockstraps thoroughly soaked by Sergey.

Hate him.

this russian guy looks exactly like a gay basher

Come on, SEgey is a nice guy and a great singer (but this is not You are the only one by any means)

A performance engineered to within an inch of its life. Nothing natural about this whatsoever.

Short pause now to bring on the Danish cunt's giant chair.

Russia might be on top 5 with votes from east

The song is pretty meh but at least it's better than Australia.

I think he'll do ok with juries and very very well with televote, top 5 for sure

Gaultier - a French Jew to spice things up, sure, okay.

Denmark might be one of the surprises tonight

Didn't Gaultier develop a crush on the Ukrainian twink from last year? I wonder how that love story ended.

WTF IS THIS DENMARK FUCKERY

Sergei will get some votes for being a hottie.

Was I hallucinating or did I actually hear a line sung in Danish in Leonora's song? Congrats to the creepy Dane bitch, that's the first time Danish has been heard on Eurovision stage in more than two decades. But it's still sad there's one Danish line in a song from Denmark, which is mostly in English and French.

What’s the singing style on this Danish bitch called? It’s the same one you occasionally hear on US TV commercials. So damn cutesy.

Denmark's is cotton candy made into a song.

Now delicious butt of back up dancer

Serhat cult going into overdrive right now. Just you wait to hear this crap, people.

THE SAN MARINO DADDY AGAIN!

San Marino: trolling Europe since 301 A.D.

Oh, shit, he's speaking the lyrics again and it's even WORSE than during the semi!

Say Na na na na...

what screams more EUROTRASH than a San Marino Barry White?

That blond twink dancer is so going to be the cream in the Assi/Albert Oreo sandwich all night tonight.

I'm starting to buy into that conspiracy theory surrounding the qualification of the dreadful Sanmarinese song: according to it the EBU made that song go to the finals to discourage San Marino from leaving the contest and enourage more of the microstates to join in the near future.

I actually wouldn't be surprised if that turned out to be true. There was also something fishy about their 2014 qualification and I'm saying this as a huge Valentina Monetta fan.

P.S. Someone mentioned on the livestream the other day that Queen Valentina's house is listed on Airbnb. Wouldn't it be awesome to sleep in those sacred chambers? Unfortunately I haven't managed to track down the listing yet.

Like I've mentioned upthread, @cschleichsrun is hysterical on Twitter right now.

[quote]San Marino is singing at a vocal register that could make a bridge collapse.

why "North Makedonia"? What happened to the southern part?

Greece

Someone open 2nd part?

Southern Macedonia lies in Greece.

This North Macedonia singer is easily the best of the competition and the song isn’t bad. At least it’s distinctive. The mawkish projections suck, though,

Part # 3

Bajour!

Macedonia pushing those emotional buttons now.

r592 I'm sure the OP of this one is on it.

R588: To be fair, San Marino is always near to qualify, unlike Andorra they don't flop hard on the semis (most of the time)

Muriel, close down this thread!

Cute Assi to close out the thread.

r590 renamed in feb 2019

close this down Muriel