How to deal with a smarmy, entitled coworker

[quote]How to deal with a smarmy, entitled coworker

You pretend like they don't exist. It drives them insane.

I've been trying that r1

Is it considered unprofessional to not say “good morning” to coworkers you don’t care for

Burn his house down.

Take a shit in her coffee cup.

r4 = Alex Forrest

You could also sell him photocopies of his own business card for $50 a box.

Avoidance at all costs. No eye contact. Act as if they don't exist. Monitor your Facebook, instagram, etc. Lock them up, they stalk and worm their way into your business. Be careful, they're very destructive, and you won't even realize it's happening.

I agree. The silent treatment is the best with that type. Also, take if from me. if he ever addresses you directly, don't acknowledge him right away. Look him face to face then silently scan your eyes down to his feet, then back up to his eyes and respond nonchalantly but with a perplexed look on your face , "I'm sorry, what?". That will let him know you have minimal interest in anything he has to say.

I agree with R9. Make them feel like they're unimportant to you, insignificant. Like they're just not worth paying attention to or listening to. The best thing you can do is let them find someone else as a target.

Thank you R9. That may be the best bit of advice of ever gotten off DL. Works for any number of situations

Thanks r9. That's brilliant!

You're getting a lot of passive-aggressive advice that will make coworker angry and vindictive. Well, more so. Be a Vulcan. No emotion, nothing triggering like looking him up and down.

The silent treatment and dirty looks of disdain are silly, and make you look awful. Try killing him with kindness instead. Show him that nothing he says or does affects you negatively at all :) He'll hate that more than being deliberately snubbed.

r14 that won't with him. He takes advantage of people who are nice to him.

You might be surprised OP. He may end up becoming your best friend. Some people need to be put down in subtle ways for them to wake up to the fact that they need to change their M/O.

I have to work with someone like this. Even those this person isn't my boss, he sure acts like it. My work doesn't intersect with his, yet he's constantly trying to tell me how to do it properly. But the worst thing is when he's in a "mood" and continuously contradicts himself. He says "A", then just to get along, I say "A"---at which point he'll say, "No, that's B".

He keeps saying he wants to retire and I can't wait until he makes good on that promise.

R9 is one of those bitchy gays only other bitchy gays think find interesting.

I’m an attorney and these types are par for the course in my profession. Ever since Day 1 of law school.

I agree with the poster that there is a lot of passive aggressive advice being thrown out.

That only fuels them because 1) they know they are “winning” (even if that’s not what you want to call it) by getting to you and 2) they will push for further winning (just because they know you won’t say anything) . The “I’m sorry did you say something” advice works to a certain degree... if you do not come back off like little insecure bitch, which unfortunately most do.

What works best for me is to treat them like I would anyone. Right and times, wrong at times. Praise at times, criticize at times. You are their equal, nothing less, nothing more, nothing to prove. You will have to be strategic, however. Pick and chose your battles doing both until you are comfortable doing both.

This is hard if you despise them with every fiber of your being, but it is truly the only professional way to handle things - in your eyes, in your colleagues’ eyes, and most importantly in their eyes.

Anything else and you are just another bitch that they got whipped - especially if you throw a bitch fit.

R18 is one of those only moderately literate gays who really should learn how to proof read.

[quote][R18] is one of those only moderately literate gays who really should learn how to proof read

I rest my case.

R19 one last thing, the pretend they don’t exist advice is also easily a weapon for them

“I asked so and so about their thoughts, and he didn’t say anything”

“So and so what do you think of that”

“(Behring your back) You know Bob, was so and so even at the same meeting we were? Not a peep when I mentioned my great idea.”

Believe me you will end up being caught off guard, and even more importantly, being caught as an insecure little bitch.

Ignoring works in public settings where you have no commitment (bars, transport, parties). At your job, not so much.

I agree with some of the posters above. Doing anything passive aggressive or something that he perceives as threatening, will only backfire on you.

You'll piss him off because he isn't, "winning," and in order to "win," he'll go behind your back and find a way to get rid of you. People like this don't like to be fucked with and will make sure they fuck you harder.

At the very most, just be ambivalent towards him.

[quote] I rest my case.

Well, at least you got that one out correctly. Good job!

See, I believe positive reinforcement can be the best thing. Well for some.

R24, your own post at R20 now applies to you.

[QUOTE]Ignoring works in public settings where you have no commitment (bars, transport, parties). At your job, not so much.

^^THIS^^

A smarmy entitled BOSS is an issue.

A coworker should just be ruthlessly ignored.

Ignoring them causes the pain but doesn't help you win.

I think r19 has the best advice. “Grey rock”, neutral, slow to react, no big reactions. Redirect their attention.