How many of your gay friends have gotten married since 2015?

I'm not looking for a husband. My life is not validated by signing letters of fake commitment, or ploys of having a desperate-for-attention wedding.

Pretty much what R1 said. I'm in a long-term relationship, and it's going fine. What would change if we got married? We already have each other as our beneficiaries.

What on earth would change when you get this husband, that you can't do right now?

Friends?

Just one. Former bf married his new beau. They seem happy. To each his own.

Married with kids. Two sets. It’s as though disposable income and hedonism gets old at 40.

90% of my gay friends. It’s ridiculous. I always hated weddings - and I ended up having to go to like 8 in 2 years. Ugh. Why? The whole point of being gay is not being trapped in a legal contract.

Been together 20 years and have no desire to get married - and in fact it scares me because 30% of the LT couples I know who got married ended up getting separated or divorced. It’s like the death knell for a relationship.

Just do wills, power of attorney, necessary requirements.p. But marriage wraps up a bunch of legal and non-legal issues that have nothing to do with a relationship as I define it,

Just 5 pairs. Three of them are over 50 and have been together over 20+ years.

Just one couple my age (mid 30s).

Friends?

R1, writing from the groovy Sixties.

Far out!

R3: Social Security, pension, or disability payments as a survivor's benefit, for starters, some even after (God forbid) you get divorced. Likewise, a share of the marital property.

Potential tax savings and the ability to gift monies to each with limited tax consequences.

No bullshit from hospitals, extended care or nursing facilities or (God forbid) jail about decision making or visiting.

The right to inherit when a spouse dies. No grabby/hateful family can attempt to claim a place in line ahead of you by contesting the will.

Right (standing) to sue for a spouse's wrongful death or loss of consortium.

Wills, an advanced care directive, and a power of attorney for each other certainly help a lot, but they do not offer all the benefits (or obligations) of marriage. For instance, try to use that advanced care directive or power of attorney written in, say, New York State when your spouse is in a Florida hospital.

R11, so basically it boils down to money. Got it.

Just as the will, PoA, and advanced care directives do - it means the decisions you made (about health care, medical and financial decision-making, and the distribution of any assets you have) are carried out the way you wanted them made by your spouse, not a court or some stranger appointed by a judge or a relative who you haven't spoken to in years. It assures that your wishes, whether about money or treatment or the continuation or cessation of medical care are followed.

Money is a part of it either way.

I've lived with my partner for almost 20 years and have no desire to get married. We have paperwork in place for the things that matter. We're poor and own nothing, and there are only negatives to legally connecting our finances. If there any financial benefit to it, I could see making our partnership legal, but I never had the romantic mindset about marriage that some of you have.

I only know one pair who got married and now they’re running for President.

My partner and I got married for the pragmatic reasons described at R11. We did the legal ceremony privately and had a small dinner for our immediate families mostly because they wanted one. Interestingly, straight people have been far more happy and supportive of our marriage than the LGBT community, where we've gotten very unenthusiastic congratulations, confusion, and generally weird reactions. I guess there's still a lot of hangups around marriage among gays and lesbians.

Pre-gay marriage I had a friend with a partner who had been together 35 plus years.

When my friend's partner was dying in the hospital the partner's family refused to let him be with him while he was sick and passing away. I would not be surprised if there are still such hateful families around and avoiding that by getting married is a good idea. That and honoring and celebrating a lifelong commitment two people have made to each other.

The question is, "How many of your gay friends have gotten married since 2015?" My answer is, one couple.

There are at least 1000 legal rights ties specifically to marriage, the most important being money transfer and health proxy rights.

Some of those can be mimicked with legal paper work like will/trust, health proxy, etc but those cost money and may be challenged in court.

Marriage rights are rarely successfully challenged.

The Reptilians are using Texas as a laboratory to figure out how to get rid of same sex marriage. Or at least how to ignore it.

I am 53 and none of my contemporary gay friends are married. Many are in stable, long-term relationships but none have tied the knot. I know several younger gay couples who are married, but have been since before 2015 when it was legal in some states but not yet Federal. I know several old lesbian couples and one gal pal who has been married and divorced 3x.

Make sure your gay friends get a prenup if they are headed for wedding bells.

I'm 29 and I have a couple dozen gay friends, several of which I keep any regular contact.

While I know many in long relationships, almost none are officiated married.

My partner and I have been in a relationship through almost all of my 20s, we just slow to commit for several reasons (good enough and bad). If we're together still into my 30s I'll see almost no reason to not marry though.

We'd want a ceremony with some close people but not a large expensive one with everyone. In fact my partner has been complaining about his family member's extravagant one's cost. For guests I'd lean towards dedicated friends, and he'd probably only invite family who are explicitly supportive (and/or his closest).

But yeah its in the cards, but still not any time soon.

R18, I only know one gay couple who's married since 2015. However I lived in California before leaving the US, so most of the ones who wanted to get married did so before then.

I only know one other couple who got married. I got married last year after 25 years. Big prenup: he's a spender; I'm a saver - his lawyers tried to talk him out of it, the idiots. We live apart as he's not allowed in the country. We speak on WhatsApp and he tries to tell me what to do with the flowers in the yard. As for the trees, I have am about to lose a sixth due to ganoderma, alas.

Think carefully before you do it. My now-husband decided to start his own business, and we file separately. This puts us in a more complicated tax situation and my taxes would be hell of a lot lower if I were single.

Everything would be simpler if I were single.

A start-up usually has losses R26. What are you talking?

I laugh at the guys who got married and are now divorced. They're as miserable as the straights now. And half as rich.

R27 He’s not losing money, schmuck.

R29 You're the chipmunk: you didn't get it.

It was always about money and legal issues. The legal argument for gay marriage was that so many rights for partners go with the word "Married" that cannot happen automatically without it. Horrible to contemplate the number of gay partners who have been refused admittance to the ICU to say goodbye to their partners, who have lost out on property to family members who hadn't spoken to the deceased in decades, who have lost pensions, and SS, who have been kicked out of homes they had lived in for decades, etc etc. Of course, for people with sufficient means, lawyers can take care of the majority of that, but then, why not get married and save the cost of the lawyer?

It's not just about money. There is also the reaffirmation of commitment. And just because we can, now, get married to each other. R31 is right in many ways esp, "Horrible to contemplate the number of gay partners who have been refused admittance to the ICU to say goodbye to their partners."

36, I'm married. about 1/2 of my gay friends group is married

Get married, guys.

I’m 34 and half my friends (gay or straight are married). I didn’t want to get married in my 20s and would joke I’d only do it for the money. Now I’m in my 30s in a happy committed relationship and wanna do it when I’m 40 for the money. Also, in my career, single people rarely get promotions. Still don’t believe in marriage in that dopy way though. If my current relationship ends, then I’d probably go back to not caring as much.

Ugh - a lot of people buying into the myth of marriage. Marriage is such a 17th century property- rights, child-rearing, inheritance antiquated concept. Do what you want via lawyers - keep the government out of it. And take care of yourself - don’t get stuck in the fantasy that someone else is the answer.

R36 Nobody else is the answer, but they can be a help sometimes.

R29 And again, moron you have poor reading comprehension. I make 3 times what he does. He’s not losing money on his business.

Jesus what’s wrong with you?

R38 No one understands your situation. Sorry from DL. Bye.