The effect of beauty

I get it, OP, and I'm with you. There's a guy at my gym who's beautiful (non-bulky military-looking guy), but I can tell he's probably a jerk, so I just look and enjoy that way.

I've often found that they're jerks too. Or is it just wishful thinking on my part? I can be a jerk and I've known homely straight guys who were pretty arrogant jerks who felt attractive women owed them something when they didn't have anything going for them.

At least he wasn't super nice, op.

Gorgeous people with a good heart piss me off.

I guess people usually assume beautiful people are narcissists. My friend is stunningly gorgeous and he always laments that men find him unapproachable. I can't understand why because he's always smiling and laughing and has the biggest heart in the world. Maybe they just assume he's going to be an asshole.

Then again, I also think the word narcissist is thrown around too much. I guess because we have a true one in the White House at the moment. Taking selfies and talking of one's accomplishments (if still humble and recognizing one's flaws as well) isn't inherently narcissistic. It's when people have no hearts or empathy that it becomes true narcissism. We all have narcissistic traits, but most of us also have empathy. It's the ones that don't who need to worry about.

Why does ever other HOMO on DL describe some guy their attracted to as not GORGEOUS but DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. It makes you sound bi-polar.

I meant they're NOT their

Being single for decades is also a factor.

Beauty is power and it always has been. Young and beautiful women have a lot of power, unfortunately it does not last much. Men age into something almost equally attractive; women lose all their power.

I'm in my fifties and remember a time when it was still possible to meet and befriend men who were beautiful but didn't know it. Nowadays, everybody seems to know their assets and sort people accordingly, usually by those who offer a "supportive" role. Smart are they, however, who understand modesty. A powerful hand.

The power of beauty transcends our vain theories; even babies are attracted to beautiful people.

When I was 3 I had a beauioful teacher whom I adored. On the other hand, when the ugly teacher tried to touch me, I immediately started to scream.

I HOPE you are very young, OP. Because the degree of physical attractiveness is directly correlative with the likelihood that the person is an asshole. I am NOT impressed by looks because I am older and my libido is not the same as when I was 20. I don't think with my dick anymore. Thank GOD. When I meet a very handsome man, I am immediately wary. I am never intimidated. I just wait to see when they will start saying assholish things. THAT is the "effect of beauty" on me . There is a meme that "one good thing about getting older is that you can tell someone is an asshole before they even open their mouth." Not 100% true 100% of the time. But more likely true than not. Sounds like you just need to get laid more, OP.

This is an Americanism, IMO. I've met gorgeous people in other countries who are humble, down to earth, and kind. That combination seems to be a rarity here.

Beautiful on the outside, ugly on the inside.

OP, do you know his name or do you have any pics or social media of him? I hate it when people are described as 'gorgeous' with no evidence backing this up.

R4 Show me this friend of yours. A name? Pics? Social media? Don't leave me hanging.

Ugly on the outside and inside.

R15 stop trying to be a whore

[quote] Why does ever other HOMO on DL describe some guy their attracted to as not GORGEOUS but DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. It makes you sound bi-polar.

Why would bi=polar people talk like that particularly?

R17 When someone says that they or a friend are drop-dead gorgeous or stunningly handsome I demand to see evidence. Pics or liar.

Watch these alleged drop dead gorgeous stunningly handsome guys to be thin lipped WASPy types

R19 Do you have to be so literal-minded? Can you think in the abstract, manage a concept? Don't bother answering. I don't care.

Glad I'm attracted to average looking guys.

R21, R19 is the same guy that demanded I post a link to the pictures of the perfect instagram couple I was talking about on another thread. When I said I respected their privacy and didn't want to expose them, he said I was lying and that they didn't exist. He is a small-minded simpleton.

R21 It's just that when y'all describe a guy like this I picture in my mind a Sex God-like Adonis that will make me cum, so I'm too curious and have to see what he looks like.

Did all the sharp, witty gay men leave DL? I mean, what IS THIS?

This must be an American thing. The hottest people I know are from other countries and they're very nice.

I read here in DL that even the most gorgeous men only have about a 2.5 year span... then the beauty drops off. I was a stunner in my 30’s and after a cycle of steroids, and some dramatic hair and clothing styling I- bloomed- i became a bartender in a club and had my body and face plastered everywhere one summer. I also felt the bloom come off the rose (I’m 50 this year) so I know both sides of this phenomenon. When I was gorgeous I could turn every head in the room and pull three guys off the dance floor to have an orgy. I was a crazy club kid and beauty makes people stupid and tongue tied. It also helped that I kept a mystique going, never sleeping around in my hometown, but always going to NYC to have fun.

One night I had a great conversation and the guy came out and said, “wow I never expected you to be so down to Earth”. People generate their own ideas about what beautiful people are/should be like but that’s not really true.

So now when I see a gorgeous guy, I give him the benefit of the doubt and that yeah, he has an expiration date too.

Interesting R27. Any old pics to share with us?

R28 Some people are more genetically blessed than others. There's the potential for gorgeous guys to age very well onto their death bed if they have the genes and lifestyle.

Beautiful Men who won the genetic lottery.

Do you think most of them are assholes?

R20 why would you assume that?

Models are very hit or miss. Some have shitty lifestyles so they age like cow juice (see David Gandy), some have facial features that won't look good as they get older (too thin lips, eagle nose, etc.)

R33 Experience here.

There are limits to what beautiful people can do. No one will take someone gorgeous completely seriously. It can distract from the job at hand. It can have unintended consequences. My friend Joey was a sweetheart, but when we would go out, he’d say how he was attracted to one guy and was making eyes at him all night flirting- but when he finally came up and talked to him discovered that it was just an excuse for trying to talk to me.

I was heartbroken for him that night and our friendship was never the same after that.

[Quote] Do you think most of them are assholes?

Yes, people who are hungry are typically assholes.

There was a photo shoot for the entire bar staff but much the film was overexposed. The photographer had taken dozens of photos of me and for months, every time I opened the local gay magazine there I was, a full page ad of me staring back. Not every week but most of them. As flattering as it was, it was also unnerving after awhile because the young gays and staff copped an attitude. The only people that would come up to me were the elder gays because they had nothing to lose and yes, I made a lot of money bartending that year but was glad it was over when I quit.

Having lived in Los Angeles where beautiful people are a dime a dozen, the effect of beauty is very limited.

Besides what's been said above about the narcissism and self-entitledness, being around so many good-looking people banking on their looks teaches you they get some things in life easier than others - but even that's limited. There's always someone better looking, someone younger, someone taller, someone fitter, someone who got more money off their looks, someone who got more opportunities off their looks, someone whose embroiled in drama over someone over their looks.

It's all really petty and you realize it's the same crap most people deal with, but at the same time aren't beautiful people supposed to be immune to that stuff?

Oh and looks do fade faster than anyone wants to admit. And in LALA, they are a bitch to maintain.

I turn heads. Girls constantly swoon. Str8 men say things like "youre a f8ne lookin man"... yet gay guys arent interested. Weirdly enough, overly drunk guys say Wow and grope me and that (it doesnt bither me)... but most regular guys wont date me. Ive had nice guys say im out of their league andcrefuse me. But oddly enough, v good looking guys scare ne...id never approach one And they generally want a totally different TYPE to me. They might admit im handsome(thats my main compliment..rarely Hot or Sexy(except from girls).... youd think i was actially Quasi modo the lack of guys i get. Yet guys will stare...ill get the hottest guys from abroad on scruff saying WOW when i send a pic...yet many ignore or say Not my type. I see them all looking when im in a bar..but no attractive guy says hi..ever. . i cant figure it out..... I am shy. But even in apps like grindr, goodlookers are rarely into me. So does it all come down to TYPE. Afterall we can all tell a beautiful woman but we dont wanna shag her. Im so confused.

R40 Are you the same person here?

https://www.datalounge.com/thread/23478566-who-s-the-drop-dead-gorgeous-dler-s-here-

I vaguely know this handsome guy in my city over 20 years. He's tall with a cleft chin with an 'aristocratic bump' in his nose (just like the young Robert Taylor had).

He's a little thicker now but still handsome. I can get the courage to speak with him now at the bars.

And I have to say that he is still handsome but he's never developed any social skills. He has always relied on the worship from others.

There was the time I picked up a young guy and took him home because he had a beautiful ass. It turned out he had been stalking me because the magazine cover had the bar I worked at. After sex, he even pulled out the magazine! He had fallen head over heels with an IMAGE I portrayed and when I didn’t match up to his ideal he created in his head about me- he would gloss over the particulars or ignore them. This happened a lot. All I wanted was some ass that night, MARY!

R41 no....Why?

people cut a lot of slack for extremely beautiful men and women. Its always been that way. The comment about beautiful men still keeping some of that............... even when older is not true in the gay world. Once the looks go, its all over. Extremely beautiful gay men ALL know exactly their worth in the eyes of fellow gays..........straight men with incredible beauty maybe dont know their worth quite the same way. Women still expect a level of success, ambition, etc. Not so in the gay world.

Probaby a chunk of exrteremly beautiful gay men are assholes as they have learned to competely ignore and write off most men not of their caliber. However, have a little pity on them as being that beautiful is like beiing young and very rich and slowly day by day getting poorer. All too soon their main claim to fame (looks) are gone and a big chunk have nothing to fall back on as they age. Not a pretty sight and a rampant reality in the gay community.

What I mean by bipolar is: Everything is either FANTASTIC or TERRIBLE. Someone is either DROP DEAD GORGEOUS or FUCKING UGLY.

Most people GREATLY EXAGGERATE someones attractiveness or UN attractiveness.

I had a friend who described her girlfriends fiancee as GORGEOUS. I knew before I even met this guy that he wouldn't be GORGEOUS or BEAUTIFUL or PRETTY. When I finally met said fiancee I could say he was attractive. No more.

R44 Just curious, tone was similar to those two comments.

R45 Looks can be maintained for a long time depending on genes and lifestyle. I would say it's hard in the US because beauty-care is rather poor compared to other places, as well as more stress. For instance the sunscreens here aren't very effective at blocking UVA rays which lead to aging.

I don't know how to transfer a youtube video to DL. Can someone transfer the following youtube video to this thread: Farewell to Summer 2012 (Fun In Central Park3) . Some older overweight queen posted some videos of HOT guys in Central Park. My favorite is the guy in the green shorts.

r45 beauty might fade, but at least those men have the option of keeping a man for extended periods of time. A lot of guys want sex in the gay community, but I feel that everyone wants to love, or at least a chance at a relationship. Beautiful people never have to be alone and are given a shot at love. For me, that's the part of the equation that is frustrating.

r49 you add the video link from the youtube video's search bar (cut and paste the entire thing) to the "Web Site Link" line under the comment section. I'll try to find your vid.

P.S. That's also how you add pictures.

By link, I mean the www.youtube.... part not the youtube search bar.

Here is teh vid, thanks for the suggestion!

Thank you R50!

It must be difficult for beautiful people to grow old.

I prefer this video, they all seem mean, but hot.

People think that just because you're beautiful and popular, life is easy and fun. No one understood: I had feelings too. I die knowing no one knew the real me.

R54- Those guys remind of the FRAT BOY types you see at Fraternityx.com

r56, you mean them crackheads at FraternityX?

Tall with good looks and popular, self-employed with some success? Most people are going to think you're a whore, that you're leveraging your looks somehow. Whether you're 25 or 45. Being somewhat aloof becomes a defense mechanism if you're an introvert or serious-minded, and you can guess what the boys at the bars or on Grindr think of that :(

On youtube there is an interview with Angie Dickinson where she says it was wonderful being beautiful when she was young. No false modestly which would be pointless. And she says now she's old but it was great while it lasted. She's not happy about being old but is pretty much matter of fact about it.

R58 How do you know that a lot of people will assume that? I thin it's more on an individual basis. I don't think anybody will see Orlando Baronne as a 'whore' when they look at him.

It has been my experience that the opposite is true, that unattractive people are usually horrible and think beautiful people get everything handed to them.

The actress Loretta Young said, "Beauty will open the door for you - but after the first 5 minutes you're on your own".

But that 5 minutes is crucial. It gets your foot in the door.

R63 In other words, you have to have something else going for you than just beauty - a personality and some talent. Beauty alone will rarely do it.

Not every beauty knows it or is confident.

Ruslana was the most beautiful girl in the world and still unhappy

R4

They might be intimidated by him.

Most times very good looking people have no personality because they don't have to develop one to be attractive to people. Some of the most attractive people I know aren't good looking, they have attractive personalities that they have created to be attractive to people, and it works. They are charming and magnetic, and aesthetically ugly. I also know a lot of beautiful looking men who are such bores, no sense of humour with banal personalities. They've relied on their looks far too long to attract people and now they're aging, they're not so good looking and they're bores, so no one goes near them.

"The Effect of Beauty . . . "

At the lovely age of 22, it won an Oscar for me, my dahlings -

Two words - Matt Bomer. I don't think I've ever seen a more beautiful man in my life. Yet, he's SO boring on stage, screen, and interviews.

I really do think that beauty is great and all, but you have to bring something else to the table or you'll be left out in the cold once those looks fade. Look at all those sad starlets who were big in their 20's and 30's, but got awful plastic surgery to stay looking young and, now, the only roles they can get are rich society matrons or faded movie stars. They don't look young. They look like women who have had a lot of plastic surgery.

Lets be honest. There are beautiful people who have great personality and or talent. You just notice it more when a beautiful person doesn't have those things because it confirms your assumptions, and it also makes you feel better about not being physically beautiful.

There are also plenty of fuggos who are boring and or have shitty personalities. PLENTY. Get real.

It's rare for me to be affected by alleged beauty beyond mild irritation. I know I'm way outside of the norm on that and never talk about how I feel in real life. But I have never been "omg I have to fuck you right now" about anyone because of their looks. Never. Personality only, or charisma

OP's obviously homosexual friend is 'str8' only around OP!

It's worked well for me. I'm pretty much hollow but very handsome.

I think people that lose their beauty suddenly are the strongest people because yes, it’s intoxicating but I knew as I was going to age it would fade. As a bartender there were always younger guys sniffing around looking for my job and the manager would comment when bar sales were down. I shaved my head and it didn’t go over well with management because suddenly I looked like every other aging gay clone did in the 90’s (I rocked a surfer dude look).

I was a terrible flirt, dated a billionaire, traveled a lot and maxed out my beauty when I had it, whoring around with all sorts of guys. If you have it, USE it, because one day you’re invisible like all the other elder gays are. I was really nice to them back in the day because they were the only ones that cheered me on.

I've seen it both ways. The most beautiful man I had ever seen I got to bed down with him one night. He was an impossibly good looking pro athlete/model. I had seen him around town many times. Finally got the courage to hit on him online and he asked me over. Unfortunately the sex wasn't that great, It felt like I was taking an exam ("do this", "do that", "turn your head this way"). His personality was the complete opposite of the way he looked. I understood though and forgave him, there were a hundred gays plus even straight ones that would throw themselves at him in a minute.

The opposite is the best looking female I know. As beautiful a person on the inside as out. Blonde, extraordinarily physically delicate and feminine. She would effortlessly walk into a room and make every other woman look like a dog, so she could not trust many other women. But men would fall all over themselves with her charm... She also never had a bad word to say about anyone, and never complained. I also intimately saw the incredible lengths she had suffered to in her life, not that a person could tell from the outside.

Well, I dont want to brag, but I was deported from my own country because I was too good looking.

Yes beautiful people have it easy.

But it doesn't last long if they don't have a good personality. You'd be surprised by how quickly they lose their charm.

When I was younger, I'd only chase after the beautiful guys. I wasn't one of them but I was an extroverted and easy going top with a big dick, so it was easy for me to hit these guys up. Once I did, many would unload their problems on me. If I had been as beautiful as them, I don't think they would've opened up to me. They specifically did because I was less attractive (and because I had fucked them silly). After a while, beautiful guys lost their appeal to me though.

Now when I see them I think: -They are narcissistic. No matter how many abs they have, our how well sculpted their muscles are, they will never be satisfied with themselves. -They are horrible to eat with. You can't eat anything fun with them. You can't randomly try new cuisines. When you do eat with them, they'll talk about the right type of foods they eat all through the meal. They'll bad mouth everyone who doesn't eat like them in the most passive aggressive manners as well. -They are depressives and terribly insecure. They need to overcompensate for their unresolved issues and focusing on beauty if a very easy way to avoid their problems. The more perfect they come off at first, the more likely they have major issues waiting to come out on day 104 after a few too many drinks. While many are beautiful, guys don't hit on them. I did. And they would instantly assumes I was extremely confident for hitting on them. Usually I was just drunk haha. The more they derive their confidence from their looks, the more they become insecure about someone younger and better looking coming along.

With that said, when a guy is naturally beautiful, I go crazy. These guys usually fit this description: -In shape, but not perfect. They work out but have much more interesting things to take up their time. -If they are in "perfect" shape, it's not because they have a membership to equinox but because they are in a very competitive sport. That's a very important difference. The equinox ones will all be damaged on the inside, but the one in the very competitive sport, most likely isn't obsessed with his own looks. -They're not materialistic. Many "beautiful" people are desperate to cover themselves up in money. Expensive clothes, skin care regimes, etc. But non-materialistic beautiful people look best in a white shirt and blue jeans. -They don't know how attractive they are. This usually means they aren't in the "scene". Maybe they were once but aren't anymore. Beautiful people who chase the "scene" are generally toxic. -They've gone through hard times when they weren't able to rely on their looks. A prime example is guy who grew up unattractive, and then when older, they became attractive. They had to develop a personality and since they were once "ugly" they tend to be sympathetic and humble.

How old are you, Elder Sage?

I’m a guy and I have been frequently referred to as beautiful, very handsome, “looks like a movie star” by lots of random people since I was in my early 20’s (now 33). While I think people definitely go overboard in describing my looks, I can acknowledge that I’m attractive.

For a long time I was just awkward looking, very skinny, and wore glasses. In my early 20’s something changed and that’s when all the compliments started. I have a long and lean body, longer face shape, perfect skin, angular features. I take care of myself and eat an organic plant based diet.

Being attractive has its perks socially but professionally it makes no difference unless you’re in a client-facing/public-facing role, which I am not.

This thread is so useless without pics, names, social media.

I concur. Post pics. The DL's opinion of "beauty" always seems to be very subjective.

Use your imagination, stupid bitches

Words of wisdom

I was a beautiful boy so I was confident about my looks and really didn't think about it too much. Then I didn't realize it but through later adolescence my features grew larger, more ethnic and more unbalanced. I did not realize it until I started getting a lot of rejections. And then I looked at myself in the mirror and saw how plain I was, that I wouldn't be interested in me and it was devastating. I didn't have to look like Alain Delon but when you look closer to Tiny Tim why live?

R85 you look like Tiny Tim?

Kind of.

My condolences.

Yeah it's been pretty shitty and I'm a bit jealous of good looking people. I mean I don't begrudge them their attractive looks but hey why not me too? And the kicker is I have some very good looking cousins-straight- but no problem finding female companionship they're happy with.

R8 Evidence of good looking straight cousins...

So many self-described former great beauties on Datalounge!

R85, looking like Tiny Tim is brutal, I'm not gonna lie to you, but it could definitely be worse, so...there's that.

[quote]Words of wisdom

That's ironic, as she is usually much nicer to the better looking males on her show. Occasionally, she'll get a ten out of ten and be mean and catty to them. But a nice looking seven or eight and she's often nicer than pie. Studies show this happens often in court cases.

Speaking as someone from a beautiful though somewhat unhappy family, the conclusion i’ve drawn in that beauty will get you LISTENED to. People will stop and take in your question on the street, in the workplace, etc., while they might pass others by.

It does not guarantee success or spouses - those things require work. And personality, or ideas. And usually social skills. When you’re beautiful it doesn’t mean you get your way all the time - but at least your request will be heard. This is definite an advantage in life.

You can make a living or life based on your beauty, but you will only attract superficial (if not sleazy) people. Which will become tiresome before it runs dry.

Everyone has an expiration date. The lucky ones were hot when ripe.

I was hot for about 5 years--In my late 20's/early 30's and then it suddenly stopped. It was so mind-fucking for me that people wouldn't look at me any more.

The problem was I had wrapped up my self worth with the number of hot guys I slept with. I had to completely unwrap all that until I could stop equating my value with number of hot partners

I've been described as "cute" a lot. I'm very boy next door. Every now and then, I've gotten a "hot" (usually while in bed or right after sex or something like that), but I really don't think of myself as "hot." I have a decent body, but I don't work out every day or have huge pecs and massive arms and an 8 pack like a lot of other gay men. Sometimes, I feel like being cute is easier. Cute tends to age better than hot, so I'm happy with my lot in life.

R85 I condole you, but I have to say the concept of good-looking has widened considerably over the last ten years.

The advertising industry is now using models who are mix of good-looking and unusual-looking and ethnic-looking. Anything goes, now days.

7 replies in and still no names, pics, social media, nothing. What's the point? All this talk of 'beauty' and nobody is showing anything. Might as well talk to a wall.

97*

You're a dickpig, OP. But it's okay, we all are.

R4 Show us your friend

People will forgive lack of intelligence, bad manners, crude behaviour, and make allowances for good looking people. Prosecutors and defense attorneys know this very well and take it into account when facing a jury trial. Sad statement about human behaviour! It's been my experience that really attractive men aren't very good in bed as they feel their looks are enough! Ha!

R102-I've had sex with REALLY good looking guys that were very good in the sack. I had sex with an obese guy that was LOUSY in the sack.

Lol at those who claim good looking guys are bad at bed and just lay there...

If a good looking guy just lays there, it’s not cause he sucks at bed, it’s cause they’re horny but are embarrassed of hooking up with you. They want to get off but are not attracted enough to you to return the favor. I bet those guys are much more active when they think their partner is hot.

I had a bit of a slut phase in my early 20's and I was attractive. Maybe not the most gorgeous man on earth, but I was cute enough to attract some very gorgeous guys. Some of them were phenomenal in bed and some were truly awful. Trust me, it doesn't matter how great someone looks if they have no idea what they're doing. One of my favorite sexual partners was a guy who wasn't classically attractive at all, but he sure knew what he was doing.

I could have written R40 and I can't figure it out either.

Still no pics, links, images yet?