Are most gay men effeminate?

Look in the mirror, OP. You'll see the biggest, faggiest, nelliest cunt on the planet, someone who is in deep, deep denial.

Didn't Rock Hudson once say something about all gay men having a teenage girl named Debbie inside them?

Gurl

Just a selected few, OP. Which one is you?

I rarely see authentic masculinity in gay men. It’s superficial at best.

R6 Mayor Pete

Gay face for days r7

DLes frequently confuse having the surface elements of masculinity with being "masculine"

So they'll cite guys with super worked out gym bodies who wear "bro" style clothing (right down to the backwards baseball cap) but sound and act like Jack from Will and Grace as examples of "guys who say they're masculine but aren't"

That ignores all the "regular guy" gay men out there who don't look superstylish or super bro-ish and just sort of blend in.

A minority of gays for sure, and not visible because rarely found in any traditionally gay setting (gay bar, circuit party, etc.) but definitely exist.

The more closeted or bisexual, the more masculine

Hasn't it been showed that gay men have the feminite brains? Makes sense to me, since many guys have allot of the same hobbies as women and there super emotional like women. Some people say that gay men are women trapped inside mans bodies. I know this one gay guy in my town, he's a lawyer and a nota republic. He does allot of legal work in the town. He tries to cover it up and act all butch but I can see thru the act.

Seriously, allot?

I have seen masculine guys become observably effeminate after hanging around effeminate guys. Fem guys have very distinct mannerisms, language, styles, and interests, and gay male culture is thoroughly effeminate. A lot of gay men who come out immerse themselves in gay culture, which transmits effeminancy to them.

I'm offended.. There are tons of masculine gay guys. What a stereotype. Many of us are pure Masculine tops who never,blow,suck or swallow. They also never let anything up their bum.

Who cares about this topic. I just want to comment on the duck gif. That duck is SO CUTE. I've seen the video on youtube. CUTIE BABY NAPPING DUCK!

Birds of a feather flock together. The masculine bi and gay dudes usually hang out with straight guys and often do not even identify as gay. Fem and masc guys often clash, or simply lack enough in common to become close friends or buddies. So fem guys often are isolated among other nonmasculine males.

There used to be a gay bar in Salem,NY called Birds Of A Feather. What a fabulous name for a gay bar!

The irony of someone saying "what a FABULOUS name for a gay bar" on a thread about whether most gay men are effeminate is just so awesome.

A lot of gay men are neither effeminate nor masculine. Examples of this type would be Ted Schmidt on Queer As Folk as well as Michael Novotny.

Does Google Translate have an Imbecile>English setting? If so, I need it for the post at R11.

R12, English isn't r11's native language. You can tell by his rudimentary knowledge of its spelling and grammar.

Does any of this really matter? So many threads about some OP trying to put a group of people into boxes. Are Italians white, Arabs have big cocks, etc.

I think my partner and I fall in the “neither effeminate nor masculine “category. We live in a small town. Most of our friends are straight. We’re not into gay clubs or gay scenes. That could be a function of not having those venues available to us. We have gay friends but they don’t live in town...I wonder if we unconsciously queen it up when hang out with them?

F/F the OP

There's a gay bar a few towns over. I use to go there to try meet a masc bf, but I've gave up on that since most of the guys there are not masc. The only masc guys there was the go-go dancers, so I was greatful for them since it made going there not a huge waist of time. All in all, I've gave up on trying to find a masc bf because there just not out there.

Blame the stupid fucking tv shows that love to portray gay men as effeminate stereotypes.

True r26

Gay culture itself tries to portray gay men as innately effeminate, and a large percentage of gay men perpetuate the stigma by calling any gay or bi male by female pronouns or a “queen.” It’s wrong

MISGENDERING IS LITERAL VIOLENCE!!!!

Will and Grace. Will was not Richard Simmons effeminate. He was a CUDDLY GAY URBAN FAGGOT written for straight FRAUS to daydream about. Will was still a stereotype. The show itself was DESPERATE to please. I couldn't stand that woman with the Minnie Mouse voice.

R25- I used to go to a bar in Manhattan called The Works. The guys there were mostly yuppie/preppie types but most of them were straight sounding/looking.

Everyone thinks I'm straight and it pisses me off having to correct them all the time.

[quote] The masculine bi and gay dudes usually hang out with straight guys and often do not even identify as gay.

These days even straight guys don't act stereotypically masculine.

The openly gay ones are

I've noticed young straight guys are much femme now. It's hard to tell who likes the peen anymore.

Not really l

I don’t believe in labels.

Masculine and feminine are meaningless distinctions designed by bigots to tear gay men apart.

[quote]Didn't Rock Hudson once say something about all gay men having a teenage girl named Debbie inside them?

Most gay men would rather have Debbie’s barely legal brother Biff.

Palm Springs sounds horrible

I think all men display feminine qualities, not just gay men. We Gays are so self-focused, it isn't surprising this question is being asked. If there appears to be a higher percentage among gay men, I believe it is due to nurture rather than nature and the pure enjoyment of "camp" among groups of gay men. But in general mixed company, I don't think more gay men are feminine acting than among straight men.

Some fem qualities like compassion and philanthropy are accepted. But others like Catiness and diva worship are not

The key is OP’s use of “them”. A typical cunty frau shitposting to start trouble.

The issue is that fem guys are disproportionately more likely to come out than masculine gay and bi guys. As such, they control the public perception of what it means to be a gay guy. It masculine gay and bi guys would come out, the image of gay men would change.

The ones that are "showcased" by other gay people generally are, as well as the ones who have to throw themselves in front of every camera in sight.

by other people*

R41 You are so right. There's plenty of straight guys who are more fem than lots of gay guys. Worst thing for any guy though is to pretend something you're not. It magnifies what the person is trying to cover. Fuck em! Be yourself. I love "real" people.

[quote]Hasn't it been showed that gay men have the feminite brains?

No, there's no such thing.

[quote]It masculine gay and bi guys would come out, the image of gay men would change.

The onus is on them to do so, then.

I'm gay and have seen it all, and I've been around long enough and met many, many men who identify as gay or bi to conclude that gay men who were born gay, even the most masculine ones, have some sort of quality, label it "feminine" or whatever, that gives them away. Sometimes the quality if subtle, sometimes not, but it is there and detectable, at least to me. I also think there is a small subset of gay men who were not necessarily born gay, but formed an attraction to men based on circumstances early in life (molestation, absentee father, etc.). There's sort of identity dysphoria going on there, I believe. It's not PC to posit that, I realize. Those guys are probably inherently straight and may even identify as bi. They tend to blend in with straight guys and have no discernible qualities that give away their sexual preference. Just an old gay guy's take on other gay men.

R50 = troll or old man who thinks all gay men are just like him. "Only the go-go dancers were "masc" enough for me"

Fucked.

And you believe in the "brain" bullshit.

And no one is born gay or straight, they just develop. And all babies have the same brains at birth unless they have some kind of mental defect.

The men that believe that gay men aren't masc are basically no attractive enough to have them want to associate with them. They also nitpick when they know a guy is gay and ignore shit when they know a guy is straight.

".... all gay men having a teenage girl named Debbie inside them?"

I don't know, but he had a 20-something girl named Debbie inside of him (strap-on).

And let's be real: Datalounge is Ground Zero for the whole "you don't swoon over Cher!! Turn in your gay card!" "Well smell her!" "Every 'masc' guy turns out to be a femme bottom, they're all pretending" calling other men "she" and "her" culture of effeminate gays.

In other words, OP, this is probably not the best place to ask your question.

It’s very rare that I’ve ever met a gay guy who I couldn’t tell was he was gay before he told me. Perhaps I have strong gaydar, but most gay guys really aren’t as “masc” as they think they are.

I agree with the above poster who said people adopt the behavior of those they hang around. If a gay man is a scene queen, whose social network largely consists of other out gay guys, the chances that he won’t exhibit any stereotypically gay mannerisms are very low.

There’s a wealth of undeniable evidence that sexual orientation is largely determined prenatally, and that early hormone exposure can have a big impact on fetal brain development. Hence, the explanation for why many gay men are gay—they have feminized brains.

This is also why the number of bottoms greatly exceeds that of tops in the gay world. It’s because the natural inclination of a “sexually feminized” brain is to be penetrated. I do believe many, if not most of these men would have been much happier as women, or even trans, but will never transition because of the emotional and physical challenges, stigma, and uncertainty of whether they’d be passable or not.

I personally am not attracted to most gay men. Even the ones who look “masc” have that ubiquitous, whiny gay voice and it just ruins it for me. If the choice is date a queen or be single, I’d rather be single my entire life.

R55 is one of those posts where the guys starts off sane and you're thinking "okay, maybe..." and then it just veers right off a cliff into Crazy Town.

What’s so crazy about what I wrote, R56? Most gay men if they are being completely, totally 100% honest with themselves would have been happier to be born female. Just look at how most gay men act.

Equating being penetrated with being female is the root cause of much sexism and homophobia.

[quote]they have feminized brains

There's no such thing as a "feminized brain".

[quote]If the choice is date a queen or be single, I’d rather be single my entire life.

You ARE a queen. It's blatently obvious. The invention of the "feminized brain" is like you trying to find an excuse for your own femininity.

blatantly*

Man, R55 sounds like a real prize. Maybe he's the one that wishes he was born female.

I believe the feminized brain theory as well...and masculinized (if that's a word) brains for lesbians. The cause is probably a hormone imbalance in utero. A gay man's feminized brain is the reason he tends to share many hobbies and interests traditionally held by straight women, and why he may have the stereotypical effeminate gestures and "gay voice." But he also has testosterone, which fuels his libido. I realize gay men hate to hear these types of inconvenient truths, because they give the "trans" cause ammo. It's probably why so many gay men, especially on this board, are so transphobic.

If we're going to go the "brain" route, straight men have one side of the brain larger, straight women have the other side, and gay men have BOTH sides. So we have more brain. Not a "feminized" brain.

And gay men wouldn't be naturally like that because brain development happens over time and isn't determined by birth. The way people are treated because they are male and female determines what they are exposed to and how they develop. If gay men weren't treated like women then they wouldn't have any "female" habits. So the solution to that problem is to treat gay men like men because they are men i.e. adult humans with male reproductive systems.

[quote]The cause is probably a hormone imbalance in utero.

No the cause is the existence of more than one male for gay men and more than one female in existence for lesbians. It's the human condition, that's why no one will be able to "get rid of us".

Oh boy 🤦‍♂️

[quote]he's a lawyer and a [bold]nota republic[/bold]

How do you explain gay voice? That's not a learned trait.

Yeah it is.

[quote]The only masc guys there was the go-go dancer

Gurl.

The minute the word “masc” passes a guy’s lips, I roll my eyes and walk away.

[Quote]How do you explain gay voice? That's not a learned trait.

Oh, yes it is! I know of so many gay men who choose to talk that way, especially when they want to camp it up. After a while, you just begin to always speak that way, since all your other gay friends do. It becomes a badge of identity.

Why are the majority of people born right handed but then you have those people who are born left handed? Maybe trying to figure out why some people are born gay, when the masses are born heterosexual, is a question we will never have an answer to?

Why do fem guys get so upset with masc4masc preference. Shouldn’t the proper response be for fems to start a fem4fem movement?

I think that unattractive guys get upset with guys who they want to fuck for rejecting / ignoring them, R75. That's generally the issue, I think.

R55- Is full of shit. I have VERY GOOD gaydar but even I can't always tell if someone is gay. Sometimes there are gay guys who don't exhibit even slight nuances that would give them away. Even gay guys that look and sound totally straight in public might act GAY if they got drunk or at the proper gay venue e.g. a gay party or a bar/club.

Exactly man

R63 is a tranny!!

R75, I imagine it’s the same situation with butch gay women who are perturbed when a femme wants a femme. They feel rejected and angry.

Gay voice is clearly something some people are born with--we've all me kindergartners with effeminate mannerisms and obvious gay voice.

But for many other guys it's an affectation they put on when they come out, a way to fit in with other gay guys, many of whom were the ones born with gay voice.

Whether the latter group is just finally being true to who they are or are adapting to the group norm is anyone's guess.

^^we've all met kindergartners...

No, R75, the issue is that they have fetishized a rigid, cartoonish idea of masculinity and it colors their every interaction. It makes them insufferable to deal with in any way.

R75. You don’t see many profiles that say “femme only”. Some, but not many. You see way more for “masc only”.

Suggests that (a). There are masc gay men and (b) there’s not as much interest in femmes as they think

Fems know there any many people attracted to them, which is why they complain about the prevalence of masc4masc.

Is anybody else seeing this thread appear twice in a row on the main page?

R83, most aren’t looking for cartoonish masculinity or machismo. They are just looking for dudes that act like average, regular men. It’s moreso the lack of attraction to effeminate men who exhibit girlie traits and mannerisms. They just aren’t into guys who are into divas; identify and Mimick women; are sassy; and dress feminine.

R65, your argument that certain gay men develop effeminate traits because society treats gay men like women is unfounded and not at all in line with the most recent scientific findings on sexuality and brain physiology.

This isn’t to say that all gay men are effeminate. There is clearly a spectrum of gay men from screaming queen to hyper masculine, but the vast majority of gay men are more feminine than masculine, and the latest brain research proves that.

I mean just look at the topic of conversation in gay forums like this, versus forums where straight guys congregate. The topics of interest are completely different.

Bottom line there are differences between straight and gay mens brains and thats okay.

Reality Check #1: A good sized majority of the guys posting "masc4masc only" on apps are effeminate AF and hoping to attract a masculine guy.

Reality Check #2: A good sized majority of guys responding to "masc4masc only" profiles on apps are effeminate AF and hoping they can keep up their act long enough to trick the guy into hooking up with them.