Murderous bird kills Florida man

Give it a 🏆.

Only in Florida.

That bird is obviously full of rage. ANYONE could have seen this coming.

A murder most fowl.

Was bird high on bath salts? It's Florida, after all.

This was his OWN bird. Yikes! Was it a pit bird?

I don’t believe it

I saw one once in an Australian zoo. You can tell by their eyes that they have a bad attitude.

Leave the birds alone. They're precious. The human isn't.

Kewl

Are they not dangerous when you don't fall because you stand a chance of running away?

[quote]A large, flightless bird native to Australia and New Guinea killed its Florida owner when it attacked him after he fell, authorities said Saturday...The San Diego Zoo's website calls cassowaries the world's most dangerous bird with a four-inch, dagger-like claw on each foot. 'The cassowary can slice open any predator or potential threat with a single swift kick...To get the mandatory permit, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission requires cassowary owners to have 'substantial experience' and meet specific cage requirements, spokeswoman Karen Parker told the newspaper.

Seems to me that everything is operating as nature intended.

Great, I live in Alachua County, I hope there aren't lose ones running about.

The Cassowary

Good

I would've thought an ostrich. I've never heard of this thing.

R13

I kind of assumed that the entire herd escaped after he died.

lol,r4

Film at eleven.

It’s basically a velociraptor. And we know how the whole “let’s bring back dinosaurs” thing works out....

It is a wild bird with wild instincts. When the guy fell, it may have startled the bird and instincts took over.

Republican?

[quote] murderous bird

Redundant. Birds are fucking evil. I've seen birds do things too grotesque for horror movies.

But today I encountered a giant, lonesome, ailing duck in a parking lot and tried to save its life. It was suicidally wandering and slumping down into the path of oncoming cars. I called a half dozen animal rescue places and NONE OF THEM ANSWERED. Eventually, I called the Sheriff and the copceptionist tried to tell me it was probably nesting. Bitch, that bird is not nesting on the asphalt in front of a shuttered Toys R Us. Later, I had to get food for my cat because she eats every day and I asked the take my money lady if she knew anybody who might be able to help the woozy hobo duck and we got to talking and based on my description of it she thought it was some weird mutant hybrid duck because "people do that".

Only a good bird can stop a bad bird.

This was a hit job, and I know who called it in.

Most Australian wildlife is surly and doesn’t wanna be your friend. And cassowaries are the worst - freaking huge, dinosaur survivors - and they shouldn’t be kept except maybe in large wildlife reserves, with animal handlers who are professionals and know what they are doing. But everyone thinks they know better... blah!

[quote] Are they not dangerous when you don't fall because you stand a chance of running away?

According to Wikipedia, they can run up to 30 miles per hour.

[quote] Cassowaries have three-toed feet with sharp claws. The second toe, the inner one in the medial position, sports a dagger-like claw that can be 125 mm (5 in) long.[20] This claw is particularly fearsome since cassowaries sometimes kick humans and animals with their enormously powerful legs. Additionally, this claw is tipped in a lethal poison, unique to the Cassowary. Cassowaries can run at up to 50 km/h (30 mph) through the dense forest and can jump up to 1.5 m (5 ft). They are good swimmers, crossing wide rivers and swimming in the sea.[17]

What was the attraction in keeping one?

R14 that's great. Do you think the two guys fucked later?

Like the python "pet" owners who kept useless Pythons until they became annoying then released them to wreck a gorgeous ecosystem. His heard should be slaughtered, now. Sociopaths don't need such monsters as garden decoration.

Your heard should be slaughtered

Florida Man needed to die anyway.

Agree R20, that's obviously a dinosaur. It's terrifying.

R27: Their claws are tipped with poison, too? Fuck that! He should have left that shit in Australia where it belongs.

[quote]I hope there aren't lose ones running about.

Congrats on reversing one of the most prevalent word misuses on the internet.

Big birds freak me out. Anything bigger than a robin and I get freaked out.

Big bird stood his ground, Florida man should have fallen somewhere else

R36 For you

CASSOWARY 2020

lol, r39.

There are reasons biological species evolved in separate locations. This is exhibit "A" for one of those reasons.

I think the bird is cute. I’d adopt him.

R41, I have some sunglasses and a tutu all picked out for that little featherbaby. He'd probably just lick you to death. So cute. #AdoptDontShop

Did he fall? Or...was he pushed?

So you’re suggesting a bird mafia hit, Mr. Parrot?

I saw one of these when I was in Queensland, they are huge frightening things, I can't believe that Americans keep them as pets.

I think your the cause of all this. I think you’re evil!

EVIL!!!!!!

Shoo in for this year’s Darwin Award!

[quote] I can't believe that Americans keep them as pets.

Americans don't. Psycho Floridians do. I don't even think most states would allow someone to own such an animal.

But does the bird have a soul?

Let's each of us sponsor such birds and populae FLoride with a view to culling it's human population.

[quote] What should we do about the murder bird?

Let bygones be bygones.

Let the Crowening begin!

R38 its neck and waddle resembles the dick and nutsack of the average DLer after vigorous cockring usage

[quote]I asked the take my money lady

Is anyone going to teach R23 the word "cashier"?

Was the guy a Trump supporter because that will heavily influence my opinion.

Peckerwood pecked. Casso-unwary. Emu-gency.

Every time I see or hear the word "murderous," in my head, I always finish it with "fatty on the lam."

The one at r38 might be the reincarnation of Bette Davis.

Never trust a bird. Remember Canuck, the crow who stole the knife from a crime scene?

The 9 most dangerous birds:

1.Cassowaries

2.Ostriches

3.Canada Geese

4.Seagulls

5.Owls

6.Hawks and Falcons

7.Eagles

8.Vultures

9.Rheas

I think you might take the rest of the day and go home and, uh, well... take care of yourself, Cassie.

This is like a horror movie.

Couldn't have happened in a nicer state.

I'm surprised to see Canada Geese on the list at R60. They are big, and of course a parent would do whatever it considered necessary to protect its babies (which is true of all creatures) -- but they're not aggressive by nature. There are lots of them all over parks and schoolyards and golf courses in my city, and they're very used to people and bikes and cars and dogs -- I've seen them defend goslings by running toward someone who got too close (neck outstretched, hissing), but the intruder has always stopped and I've never seen a goose proceed after that, or actually attack. I've walked up to a group of goslings and the adults do pay attention, but I move slowly and stop at a distance that seems comfortable for them. I love watching them in the spring when the babies are born, both parents herding them around in long caravans -- fascinating, beautiful creatures.

I'm surprised swans weren't on that list. My grandmother used to tell us horror stories about them. Stories about children's and old ladies' fingers being bitten off, and EATEN!

She also said said many old villages would use swans instead of ducks in their ponds because swans tasted horrible, unlike ducks, and all that duck fat, that residents felt they were entitled to. In one instance, a town mayor was found to be the main recipient of the free roasting fowl.

R62 That was terrifying

Yikes R62, that clip looks like something from Jurassic Park.

I'm with you, R65, swans can be extremely aggressive and territorial. An adult mute swan can injure you pretty badly. BTDT, when working with injured waterfowl. We had to use baffle boards to protect us when working around the bigger geese and swans.

I worked with rheas for over 10 years and found them pretty placid and very easy to work with, like emus. Ostrich are pretty dangerous, and cassowaries the worst.

This guy may have been an experienced bird breeder (questionable though, it's not smart to run chickens in with your exotic birds), but he was an accident waiting to happen if he was in a pen with a cassowary with no backup or protection.

The bird was being a normal cassowary, what would be the point of euthanasia if the owner took unnecessary risks? I vote for the bird!

This is definitely a cassowary fell. If only he hadn't fallen...

Can we get a flock of them to terrorize Mar-a-Lago?

I once had an encounter with ostrich - a zoo or something - and it just stared at me in a way that made me realize I had to leave. Even though I knew it couldn't reach me.

Send a couple of cassowaries to Mar-a-Lago. Trump is spending the weekend there.

I saw a few of those down under. Didn’t realize my life was in danger.

The bird is cute and a precious not so little citizen,

Florida Man meets Florida Bird.

Only in Florida....

R72, see R70.

FFS it was TWO above yours. Don’t you read the fucking thread? Idiot.

Saw video of some guys walking on the beach and the fucking bird confronts they. That damned thing looks like something out of a Jurassic Park movie. It is beautiful in a very terrifying way, and the legs and feet are murderously strong.

I told you I was hardcore.

[quote]Saw video of some guys walking on the beach and the fucking bird confronts the[m].

Wait, so these things are flying around Florida? I thought they were only in zoos and shit.

Fuck that! I don’t even like those geese from up north.

I think the video was of some beach in Australia or NEw Zealand. Not sure. But not Florida. The guy who got killed was keeping one as a pet.

R65's video was scary AF - especially when it returned after being distracted!!!

[quote] I don’t even like those geese from up north.

You're wrong about Canada Geese, R80. They're big, but otherwise nothing like Cassowaries.

....

How does a Canadian Goose rank higher on the danger scale than an Owl, Eagle, Hawk, or any large predator bird?

Was the cassowary an emotional support animal?

[quote]How does a Canadian Goose rank higher on the danger scale than an Owl, Eagle, Hawk, or any large predator bird?

It might be because Canadian Geese tend to share the same public spaces as humans. Raptors on the other hand tend to perch upon high and carefully select their prey on the ground. Whenever I've seen hawks they're usually hanging on lampposts and the owls just hoot and keep to themselves in trees.

Ah, I knew it had to be a cassowary. Those things are vicious.

Have yourself a cassowary xmas...

I have never heard of those things before. They don't even look real. But they a re scary as hell,and I can see how they would just slice someone open with their talons. That beak looks pretty dangerous too. I guess if it really did come after you there's no way you could outrun it.

The best thing you can do with any animal, cassowary for example, is to make a very loud noise unfamiliar to them sounded when they least expected. They do not like to be frightened by anything unpleasantly loud or unexpected and will retreat from you.

If you’re camping in grizzly bear territory bang a metal pot with a big metal spoon to scare off bears in North America and scream like a banshee. In cassowary country I’d suggest keeping an air horn or two at hand. Just stop in your tracks, turn around to face the cassowary and use the air horn.

‘...and sounded when they least expect it.’

I was talking about mammal and birds only.

Why do DLers insist on saying Canadian goose ? It's Canada Goose now and forever and I'm unanimous in that !

The Emu is just as bad. Those birds can jump and wound you with a lethal knifing.

Leave it alone. The guy should have known what he was getting into and we've been destroying birds' habitat.

I'd love to see Brian Fellow report on this. Or have a cassowary as his guest.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

The Avian Uprising is underway. This is all Mittens Romney's fault for trying to send Big Bird to the unemployment line.

I can't remember if it's the Cassowary or the Emu but one of them attacks by kicking and their legs and feet are strong enough to literally disembowel a person.

We hope the innocent pheasants were not harmed!

[quote]Why do DLers insist on saying Canadian goose ? It's Canada Goose now and forever and I'm unanimous in that !

If only you could be as passionate about correct punctuation.

They are so beautiful.

We had ample warning.

It’s both, r99. They’re both Jurassic monsters that will slash your sorry mammal ass without pity.

....

Looking for a guard bird? The murder bird can be yours!