Let’s be a weight loss program/book in the 80s or 90s

I’m low fat but loaded with sugar and salt.

Yum!

I’m black coffee and I’m just as popular as ever.

I’m recipe cards for easy reference.

(I’m color-coded, too!)

I’m Valerie Bertinelli posing for before and after pictures to be airbrushed later.

I'm the bald chick asking you to stop the insanity

I'm aerobics! With enough hard work, your body could look aa good as mine.

I'm the cinnamon bun you wanted, but the Asparagus Chicken Medley that you just took the cover off, and are reheating in the microwave.

I'm the low-fat Snackwells, low-fat chemical laden salad dressings, and diet sodas being pushed on consumers. I have no taste, nutrition, nor satisfying "mouth feel." Dieters will ask how they can ruin a chocolate cookie.

I'm also dried prunes and figs sold as a substitute for butter in baked goods. I am not edible.

I’m Ayds! Briefly available at drugstores, but quickly to disappear when nobody likes being asked “Excuse me, but do you have Ayds?”

R9, Recall at the time my mother saying if you ate a piece of candy 1/2 hour before dinner that it would spoil your appetite. Was that the theory behind Ayds? Did it actually work?

I'm eating "lite" with pasta salads and ricecakes!

I'm the car wreck that is the Susan Powter "Stop the Insanity!" infomercial that you cannot stop watching at 3:00 AM.

R11, My BF at the time used to call rice cakes miniature frisbees. They tasted like cardboard, and then they became artificially flavored. Rycrisp tasted better.

I’m carnation slender bars.

I'm the Richard Simmons "Deal-A-Meal" deck, which involved moving color-coded cards in a plastic wallet every time you took a goddamn bite of anything.

I'm Figurines, the tasteless lunch substitute that's supposed to be paired with black coffee to get those pounds off quick quick quick!

"With a calorie rate/Of 138 a baaaaar ... "

I am the chocolate shakes in cans that you "substituted" for breakfast or lunch. Help me here, cannot remember the product name. You were always hungry, though.

The bald chick - Susan Powter. I think. What a piece of work she was!

R17 Slim-Fast? They still sell that toxic waste. It was like Love Canal in a can.

I'm Dexatrim promoted by the father in Eight is Enough. Initially I was pictured with a plate of spaghetti & 2 small meatballs and a salad for dinner. That's when pasta was being pushed because it was so low fat.

I'm the broiled hamburger from the Tuesday menu of The Scarsdale Diet book.

R17, and I’m the “sensible dinner” you eat after drinking shakes for breakfast and lunch!

Never understood how anyone could stomach those diet shakes. Just the smell was revolting.

Had a roommate who got talked into buying Jenny Craig. Bird-like portions, nothing was really edible. Diet "counselors" who were high-pressure sales people. Spurred on a whole range of less expensive frozen diet TV dinners.

Of course back then no one talked about the calories in alcohol.

I'm Weight Watchers.

My goal is to have a high turn over of failed dieters who will keep coming back year after year.

We're like drug dealers; we always get you on the come back.

I'm the diet scale encouraging the obese to weigh every single bite of food before consuming it.

I am tic tac the 2 calorie, terrible tasting, artificially sweet, chemical-laden, breath mint. My ads convince those that eat rival brands are wasting an incredible number of calories per mint.

I am also the mint-flavored toothpicks, the ultimate in low-cal breath fresheners.

Leg Warmers!