I'm a Pulled Pork Banh Mi with Pseriously Psycho Psaigon Psauce.
Let's be a Guy Fieri restaurant!
|by Anonymous||reply 136||05/15/2019|
I’m an egg
|by Anonymous||reply 1||04/09/2019|
I hate him almost as much as I do Trump.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||04/09/2019|
|by Anonymous||reply 3||04/09/2019|
I'm Chipotle-Lime Dynamite Egg Rolls With Molé-Ginger Dippin' Sauce.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||04/09/2019|
I'm Watermelon Margarita. I taste like a lethal combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde.
I'm also plain, limp, unsalted squid rings served with some sweet sludge which are supposed to be Awesomely Good Rhode Island Calamari.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||04/09/2019|
WWs for everyone. I laughed out loud. Is it just that easy?
|by Anonymous||reply 6||04/10/2019|
|by Anonymous||reply 7||04/10/2019|
I'm Guy's Smash Mouth cocktail: one part Clairol Frost & Tip lightening solution to two parts Drakkar Noir and Massengill Extra-Strength Vinegar & Water, served in a glass rimmed with ground puka shells.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||04/10/2019|
I'm a Deep Fried Mac and Cheese Poke Bowl garnished with Outrageous Truffle Oil Sriracha.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||04/10/2019|
I'm a Car Bomb Mint Mudslide, with Jameson, white and green creme de menthe, chocolate vodka, Kahlua and mint chocolate chip ice cream, served in a schooner with crushed mint Oreo rim.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||04/10/2019|
All he ever does is stand there and watch other people cook food and then eat it. He's a totally useless waste of space.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||04/10/2019|
I’m the very strong smell of feet in the appetizers
|by Anonymous||reply 12||04/10/2019|
His face reminds me of a cockroach.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||04/10/2019|
I'm totally into guys who look and act like him (yeah yeah, I know) and yet he skeeves me out.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||04/10/2019|
[quote]His face reminds me of a cockroach.
That's really insulting!
|by Anonymous||reply 15||04/10/2019|
Heart attack is #3 on the menu.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||04/10/2019|
We’re the seed oils he fries everything in.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||04/10/2019|
I'm the smell, evoking odors of a Penn Station bathroom.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||04/10/2019|
I'm the classy Viking appliances
|by Anonymous||reply 19||04/10/2019|
I'm the grease
|by Anonymous||reply 20||04/10/2019|
I'm the Donkey Sauce.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||04/10/2019|
I'm the deafening noise
|by Anonymous||reply 22||04/10/2019|
We're Sam & Ella.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||04/10/2019|
I'm the dirty bleached spiky hair you see when Fieri drops by.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||04/10/2019|
I'm the fart gas saturating the cushioned seats in the dining room.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||04/10/2019|
I am the very tasteless bowling shirts he wears.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||04/10/2019|
R15 Sorry. It's just something about him, that reminds me twitching feelers and wiggling mandible bits.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||04/10/2019|
I'm a venison burger topped with applewood bacon, cheddar, feta, blue cheese coleslaw, banana pepper rings and "rockin' guac," served with a "dipper" of Guy's special Awesome Sauce.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||04/10/2019|
|by Anonymous||reply 29||04/10/2019|
I'm the burgeoning suicide stats in Flavortown.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||04/10/2019|
One of my favorite lines from Oh Hello was when they dubbed the Times Square restaurant "Guy Fieri's Great American Garbage Fire."
|by Anonymous||reply 31||04/11/2019|
I’m the permanent vinegar smell that permeates everything because I, the owner, am a TOTAL DOUCHE.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||04/11/2019|
I’m Guy Ferry. Google me.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||04/11/2019|
We’re the rapidly rising insulin levels with every bite.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||04/11/2019|
I’m the dessert menu. Anyone up for “Guy’s Cheesecake Challenge”? It’s “a mountain of cheesecake topped with pretzels, potato chips and hot fudge”.
No thank you.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||04/11/2019|
R35 I thought you were joking but, no, it's a real thing at his Vegas restaurant
|by Anonymous||reply 36||04/11/2019|
The microscope slide embedded in the cheesecake is a thoughtful touch. The coroner will want a sample.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||04/11/2019|
I'm the nauseated viewer for Food Network where he's on constantly much to my general irritation.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||04/11/2019|
I'm one of the dimwitted morons all over the country who flock to his shitty choke and puke restaurants because we stupidly think he's a celebrity and we consider the food this smelly hog serves is good food.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||04/11/2019|
I’m the pepperoni lasagna-pizza mashup breaded, deep fried and covered in donkey sauce? Down to Flavor Town!
|by Anonymous||reply 40||04/11/2019|
Never watched his show but this thread is gold!
|by Anonymous||reply 41||04/11/2019|
I'm the elegant bracelet from the Guy Fieri Signature Collection sold in the gift shop
|by Anonymous||reply 42||04/11/2019|
r41 indeed. I'm saving this topic's URL to post in the "how can I lose weight fast?" threads for fasting inspiration.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||04/11/2019|
I'm the frozen box of Crispy Cheeseburger Ravioli Bites sold in the gift shop so that you can take a little bit of Flavortown home with you
|by Anonymous||reply 44||04/11/2019|
I never watch the Food Network, but now I realize the origin of so much weird/terrible bar food in the last ten years.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||04/11/2019|
I like his Diner, Drive ins and Dives show. Found some good places to eat from it.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||04/11/2019|
I'm the pair of 300-pound tourists in MAGA hats wedging our way through the door of his Times Square shithole. We just toured Trump Tower and all that walking has made us super hungry. We'll be ordering the Prima Donna Pork-Belly Po-boys with Cajun Molasses Ketchup Gravy. And we will eat everything on our plates.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||04/11/2019|
I am the apostrophe. I will be replacing the letter "G" throughout the menu in order to lend the restaurant some down-home plain-talkin' atmosphere. I will sooth the 300-pound tourists' fears that they may actually have to act as if they have ever left their beloved livin' rooms and make anyone with an ounce of dignity feel like killin' themselves.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||04/11/2019|
I am Smothered. You know that little cartoon about not drowning your food they used to play on Saturday morning? I am the opposite of that.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||04/11/2019|
I’m pig boys weenie that he keeps grabbing while he cooks.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||04/11/2019|
I am the customer who mistakes Guy F. for Colin Farrell, and nearly die of shock at his obesity.
|by Anonymous||reply 51||04/11/2019|
I’m all the viewers that wants Guy to no longer be on the Food Network 24/7.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||04/11/2019|
I'm the Bacon Mac-N-Cheese Burger you eat right before you die of a heart attack
|by Anonymous||reply 53||04/11/2019|
I’m the trashcan nachos slithering off the plate then off the table on to your lap and finally the floor.
|by Anonymous||reply 54||04/11/2019|
I’m the resident cardiologist, because at Guy’s, we care.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||04/11/2019|
I want someone to photoshop a dick in his mouth using the pic at R28
|by Anonymous||reply 56||04/11/2019|
Does he still travel with his screaming slap- fighting hair dresser?
|by Anonymous||reply 57||04/11/2019|
Sorry to break it to you, R47, but his restaurant at Times Square is no more. They'll probably have to salt the ground and bring Native American shamans to smudge it before anything else can go in there.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||04/11/2019|
R58 Another reason to hate the Kushner family who owns the spot. According to the Washington Post, a restaurant has to pull in in excess of $25 million a year to be profitable in that spot. I don't see how the restaurant that replaced Guy Fieri's restaurant, The Ribbon, is going to be able to pull in enough money to pay the rent.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||04/11/2019|
This review incinerated him.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||04/11/2019|
Does he serve that shit in hats and shoes and shovels like them fancy eatin’ places do?
Cuz if so, then he should use toilet seat covers as napkins cuz that’s all that swill is worthy of.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||04/11/2019|
He looks like a fatted pig sweating before slaughter.
|by Anonymous||reply 62||04/11/2019|
The thing is, as much as I enjoyed that review, nobody who reads NYT restaurant reviews was going to eat at that slophole in the first place. And the people who would are not exactly NYT readership. Guy Fiery and his ilk are the reason why Food network is unwatchable these days (HGTV are guilty of the same charges.)
|by Anonymous||reply 63||04/11/2019|
I'm the finest ingredients Sysco has to offer.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||04/11/2019|
I'm Guy back in the kitchen molesting the asparagus
|by Anonymous||reply 65||04/11/2019|
I'm the complementary Flowmaster thrown in with dinner parties of 8 or more people.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||04/11/2019|
I'm the Crappetizer Combo: Dorito Crusted Melty Mozzarella Logs, Double D Lettuce Cups with Jicama Poutine and Maple Glazed Chicken Shrapnel, Pumpkin Spice Hummus with Cajun Crostini for dippin', Wicked Kosher Twice-Fried Char Siu Matzo Balls, Viagra-Infused Bacon-Wrapped Bacon, and Guy-talian Gnarly Gnocchi with Shart Aioli.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||04/11/2019|
[quote]Double D Lettuce Cups with Jicama Poutine and Maple Glazed Chicken Shrapnel, Pumpkin Spice Hummus with Cajun Crostini for dippin'
I love you, r67.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||04/11/2019|
I'm the gent's room.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||04/11/2019|
I'm "fusion." I used to be fun and clever and interesting until Guy discovered me.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||04/11/2019|
|by Anonymous||reply 71||04/11/2019|
I'm the loaded viccysuave soup with applewood bacon crumbles and a donkey sauce swirl
|by Anonymous||reply 72||04/11/2019|
I'm the Sassy Molassy Poo-teeni topped with Shredded Texan Beef Jerky with the side of Five Star Assburner Red Sauce onion rings.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||04/11/2019|
r8 That was a masterpiece. Truly.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||04/11/2019|
|by Anonymous||reply 75||04/11/2019|
This is both stomach churning and hilarious great thread
|by Anonymous||reply 76||04/11/2019|
I'm the Glopsloptious Gummy Berry Goodnight Kiss Frozen Parfait Sour Pucker Surprise, served in a sundae glass and drizzled with ice cold Mocha Maple Syrup and paired with a dish of Deep Fried Guinness-Battered Oreos.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||04/11/2019|
|by Anonymous||reply 78||04/11/2019|
I will be the vomit in the parking lot.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||04/12/2019|
R75 made me laugh out loud.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||04/12/2019|
Im his Orchestral level.
|by Anonymous||reply 81||04/12/2019|
I’m actual food. You might as well cook me at home for all they charge for this overpriced greasy carby shit. You’re why the rest of the world rightly hates white people.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||04/12/2019|
I'm the roughed-up hairdresser.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||04/12/2019|
I'm before fame and fortune.
|by Anonymous||reply 84||04/12/2019|
I'm the food that looks great but tastes like shit.
|by Anonymous||reply 85||04/12/2019|
I'm the Awesomely Authentic Taste of New York: The Cronut Cocktail! Vanilla-adjacent vodka, honey, cream cheese and melted butter garnished with sprinkles, nitro pills and a cake pop swizzle stick. Served in a jelly-rimmed mug suitable for cradling. (Mugs available in the gift shop!)
|by Anonymous||reply 86||04/12/2019|
Isn’t that how they make the pumpkin hummus, R69?
|by Anonymous||reply 87||04/12/2019|
I'm a Big Phat Phuck who is the walking equivalent of a Dump Cake.
|by Anonymous||reply 88||04/12/2019|
Posted sans comment mostly because it’s too early in the morning to be witty.
|by Anonymous||reply 89||04/12/2019|
[quote]I'm the food that looks great
I think you have Despairtown confused with a fancy restaurant like Applebee's.
|by Anonymous||reply 90||04/12/2019|
I’m the overpriced hype, just like the fat man himself.
|by Anonymous||reply 91||04/12/2019|
I'm the cocaine that isn't helping him lose weight for some reason.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||04/12/2019|
Hi ! I'm the Deep-Fried Sausage-Coated Caramel-Popcorn Ball with Jalapeno-Cheddar Pretzel Breadcrumb Stuffing served with a Tankard of Pig Milk Gravy. For dippin'.
Otherwise known as "the reason."
|by Anonymous||reply 93||04/12/2019|
I cant stand to see him eat. everytime he takes a mouthful I imagine his arteries clogging up a little bit more. He isnt going to live to old age...........
|by Anonymous||reply 94||04/12/2019|
I don't know whether to sue or take notes.
|by Anonymous||reply 95||04/14/2019|
R95 how about both.
|by Anonymous||reply 96||04/14/2019|
I'm the poorly dressed, wide-eyed, exurban family of five delighting in our sophisticated foray into Flavortown.
|by Anonymous||reply 97||04/14/2019|
I'm his children Hunter, Catcher, Ryder, Banger, and Dumper.
|by Anonymous||reply 98||04/14/2019|
I'm the "Coated in Panko Crumbs, Aged Parmigiano-Reggiano, Brittany Sea Salt and Sumatran Pink Peppercorns, and then Twice-Deep-Fried in Duck Fat, Served with a Worcestershire-and-Ghost-Pepper Dipping Sauce, Guy's Weddings and Funerals Special....
|by Anonymous||reply 99||04/14/2019|
I'm the sweat dripping off his brow onto your food as he examines it before it gores out to you.
|by Anonymous||reply 100||04/14/2019|
|by Anonymous||reply 101||04/14/2019|
I'm his Grindr account: "Masc. btm daddy seeks well-endowed top twink, 18 - 21".
|by Anonymous||reply 102||04/14/2019|
I am the vomit in the parking lot.
|by Anonymous||reply 103||04/14/2019|
I'm his real name, Gaylord Ponsonby Ferry III, abandoned and hidden away as part of a larger quest for a more masculine persona.
|by Anonymous||reply 104||04/14/2019|
I'm the gunts on the customers, getting guntier.
|by Anonymous||reply 105||04/14/2019|
I'm leafy green vegetables. I don't know why I'm here.
|by Anonymous||reply 106||04/14/2019|
 to provide a bed for the bowl full of Tuna-Turkey Taco Testosterone Fantastic Fish Fondue, of course!
|by Anonymous||reply 107||04/14/2019|
Can I substitute the Fully Loaded Bratwurst French Fry Nachos for that green stuff? But go light on the Old Bay...I don't like spicy food.
|by Anonymous||reply 108||04/14/2019|
*I* am the vomit in the parking lot.
|by Anonymous||reply 109||04/14/2019|
I'm the inspector from the health dept. giving the restaurant an F which is not on the rating chart because the filth is off the charts.
|by Anonymous||reply 110||04/15/2019|
He reviewed a great little hole-in-the wall seafood restaurant on his “Diners....” show and now the place gets crammed full with overweight tourists and I can’t go anymore.
|by Anonymous||reply 111||04/15/2019|
I am the teen who stole Guy's stinky fart infused Lamborghini.
|by Anonymous||reply 112||04/15/2019|
...of course he has a Lamborghini...
|by Anonymous||reply 113||04/15/2019|
...and rough trade...
|by Anonymous||reply 114||04/15/2019|
I'm a datalounger who needs a laugh and hopes this thread will come back from the dead.
|by Anonymous||reply 115||05/13/2019|
I’m the rampant, usually drunken sexual harassment that he and his managers inflict on low-level kitchen and dining room employees.
|by Anonymous||reply 116||05/13/2019|
I'm Guys neck I have been hiding under his chins for at least a decade and I won't be seen ever again.
|by Anonymous||reply 117||05/13/2019|
This is funniest thread in ages. I'm not a foodie, so can't contribute. But thanks guys!
|by Anonymous||reply 118||05/13/2019|
[quote]needs a laugh and hopes this thread will come back from the dead.
That's what Guy's girlfriend said about his penis.
|by Anonymous||reply 119||05/13/2019|
I'm ketchup. I'm a vegetable.
|by Anonymous||reply 120||05/14/2019|
I'm gravy. I'm a beverage.
|by Anonymous||reply 121||05/14/2019|
Gee, the kid who stole the car is really good looking. Alas, seems like a sociopath.
|by Anonymous||reply 122||05/14/2019|
I'm the bits of ABC red hots in your bowl of Guy Fuego's 12 alarm chili that fell into the pot while he was muching away over the stock pot on a taping of "Triple D".
|by Anonymous||reply 123||05/14/2019|
We're the billion empty calories, who finally found a home.
|by Anonymous||reply 124||05/14/2019|
I'm the live electric lamp socket that does his hair.
|by Anonymous||reply 125||05/14/2019|
I'm a dogeared copy of Kitchen Confidential. I'm the employee handbook.
|by Anonymous||reply 126||05/14/2019|
I'm pancake syrup. I'm a post-prandial.
|by Anonymous||reply 127||05/14/2019|
I am the amount of punching that his face sings out for.
|by Anonymous||reply 128||05/14/2019|
I am the process known as "congealing".
|by Anonymous||reply 129||05/14/2019|
I’m the Etheleyne Glycol 4-alarm smoke’n lava margarita cooler!
|by Anonymous||reply 130||05/14/2019|
I'm all the food that fell off his face and down the inside of Guys shirt, 2 days later I will still be there since he never changed his clothes.
|by Anonymous||reply 131||05/15/2019|
Love this thread!.
|by Anonymous||reply 132||05/15/2019|
Cannot stand him and they keep giving him new programs...ugh
|by Anonymous||reply 133||05/15/2019|
I'm just shocked that dirty looking pig's fame hasn't failed by now. I guess it's yet another demonstration of what lowbrow tastes so many Americans have.
|by Anonymous||reply 134||05/15/2019|
I'm Guy's eyes. Due to a regrettable combination of fatness and genetics I resemble the slots in a piggy bank. Which I technically am.
|by Anonymous||reply 135||05/15/2019|
I'm Guy's underpants
|by Anonymous||reply 136||05/15/2019|