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Aging gays

What are the signs you notice that remind you that you're getting older?

by Anonymousreply 48210 hours ago

I keep having birthdays!

by Anonymousreply 104/09/2019

White hair obviously. Wanting to go to sleep early.

a few wrinkles, but not too bad

by Anonymousreply 204/09/2019

I no longer think about sex all the time

by Anonymousreply 304/09/2019

I can sit through a 14-hour documentary about the Roosevelts, and not want it to end.

by Anonymousreply 404/09/2019

I couldn't care less about cute little pop singers like Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, etc., anymore.

by Anonymousreply 504/09/2019

I gag at the thought of drinking Tequila and reach for my Maalox.

by Anonymousreply 604/09/2019

I have no time to waste on silly, petty arguments.

by Anonymousreply 704/09/2019

Gray hair. Seriously. I think I'm at the end of coloring it.

by Anonymousreply 804/09/2019

Can't remember if I've brushed my teeth or not.

by Anonymousreply 904/09/2019

When I drink too much, I’m exhausted and run down for a good week.

by Anonymousreply 1004/09/2019

R9 If your toothbrush is wet then you've recently brushed your teeth.

by Anonymousreply 1104/09/2019

Roller coasters give me a headache.

by Anonymousreply 1204/09/2019

Today's music is so loud!! (I sound like my parents)

by Anonymousreply 1304/09/2019

Big thick wiry white hairs in my eyebrows. It's like fishing line.

And along with that, the realization that manicured eyebrows make me look like a post menopausal woman - in my case, Mom.

by Anonymousreply 1404/09/2019

Whenever I rent a car in a different city, I find a radio station I like the music on.

Inevitably it will be some version of WLITE

by Anonymousreply 1504/09/2019

hairy ears are a daily struggle

by Anonymousreply 1604/09/2019

I don't tolerate crazy people anymore

by Anonymousreply 1704/09/2019

THe TV remote is so fucking confusing. I just want Off. On. Change Channel

by Anonymousreply 1804/09/2019

Creaky knees.

by Anonymousreply 1904/09/2019

From age comes the wisdom that you never pass up a good opportunity to hit a pissatorium.

by Anonymousreply 2004/09/2019

People in their 20s look SO young to me.

by Anonymousreply 2104/09/2019

Reminding myself to stand and sit erect,and not letting my head and neck jut forward when walking.

by Anonymousreply 2204/09/2019

When I hear younger people's stupid conversation

by Anonymousreply 2304/09/2019

Drinking isn't fun anymore, it just makes you feel tired.

If you happen to have too much to drink, it takes two whole days until you feel normal again.

by Anonymousreply 2404/09/2019

The fact that I’m sitting here reading Datalounge with my reading glasses. Ugh.

by Anonymousreply 2504/09/2019

Yes you do, r7, don’t lie.

by Anonymousreply 2604/09/2019

When the most important thing I have to worry about every day is what time I'm going to take my mid day nap, I knew I was officially old.

by Anonymousreply 2704/09/2019

Fucking ear hair

by Anonymousreply 2804/09/2019

Jesus r28. You’re not the first person (at all) to mention this. Is this what I have to look forward to, looking like I’m wearing earmuffs all the time?

by Anonymousreply 2904/09/2019

It won't be like that R29. You'll just suddenly notice a strange wild hair growing out of places on your ears that hair never grew before. Many times you won't notice it until it's an inch long. And it'll be a thick hair. I notice when I get one it will have a very shallow root and will pop out with just a tug. They'll grow from the rim of the ear or the ear lobe.

by Anonymousreply 3004/09/2019

Oh yeah, and they tend to grow VERY fast.

by Anonymousreply 3104/09/2019

It's easier when ear hair turns silver because others can't see it from a distance. On the other hand, silver ear hair.

by Anonymousreply 3204/09/2019

I fart alot and I just dont care

by Anonymousreply 3304/09/2019

I've been a bottom for most of my life. I assume my ass has become loose like those older guys I used to fuck when I was younger.

by Anonymousreply 3404/09/2019

Hand wrinkles.

by Anonymousreply 3504/09/2019

I now like to go bed when it's dark outside. Television is boring, same story line just with different costumes from those at The Old Vic. Everybody mumbles.

by Anonymousreply 3604/09/2019

The pointing and the laughing.

by Anonymousreply 3704/09/2019

More conscious of potential dangers and the finiteness of life.

Reduced stamina in both physical and mental exercise.

Would kill for the body and hair that I was unsatisfied with at age 25.

Gray hairs.

by Anonymousreply 3804/09/2019

Realising I am a good person and not giving a Fuck what people think of me anymore..... it's very liberating.

by Anonymousreply 3904/09/2019

Yes, one good thing about getting older is that you don't bother with so much stupid bullshit you thought was so important when you were younger. And you don't let crazy people or people who are really not good for you into your life. So that's one thing.

I had two very dysfunctional relationships when I was younger, and if I met either one of those guys today, I wouldn't even waste my time. You get a sense that "life is too short" when you're past a certain age and you just don't concern yourself with a lot of things you know aren't good for you.

by Anonymousreply 4004/09/2019

I always wanted to be liked and to have lots of friends. Then one day I realised they were not my friends and I dropped them all and have never regretted it and my only regret is I didn't do it sooner.

by Anonymousreply 4104/09/2019

If you are fit and healthy ageing is brilliant as you lose all of your neurosis and worries about yourself and really start enjoying the time you have left.

by Anonymousreply 4204/09/2019

You find yourself and your peers talking about retirement, superannuation and how expensive things are. Your fashion and diet obsessed fag hags hit menopause and on come the weight in a matter of months, never to depart.

by Anonymousreply 4304/09/2019

You are completely invisible to everybody under 40.

by Anonymousreply 4404/09/2019

Why should that be an issue, R44?

by Anonymousreply 4504/09/2019

I've not had sex in more than a year.

by Anonymousreply 4604/09/2019

[Quote]People in their 20s look SO young to me.

I've got you beat, r21. People in their [bold]30s[/bold] look young to me. It makes me laugh when they reminisce about "the old days" (which for them are the early 2000s).

by Anonymousreply 4704/09/2019

[quote]People in their 20s look SO young to me.

Actually, I think it's the complete opposite, when I was younger we actually looked our actual ages. These days, teenage girls wear so much makeup they look like street hookers.

As for 30 somethings, ever look at the NY Times wedding announcements? Those are the oldest looking 30+ years olds I've ever seen in my life. There was one couple who looked to be at least 45, they were both in their early 30s! Even the gay couples look much older than their stated ages. much

More like people in their 20s ACT much younger! They act like whiny teenagers.

by Anonymousreply 4804/09/2019

I've got you beat, R47-People in their early 40's seem young to me.

by Anonymousreply 4904/09/2019

Everyone already said most of the major ones. I'll add this - as I've been going through my closet & trying to clean things up. Most of my clothes are from 2006! And I don't have a clue if any of it is in-style or hideous because it looked good in 2006. I moved, changed jobs, and met a ton of new people in 2006 - so around that time, I bought tons of clothes.

I also still think the clothing style from my high school years was the best - and I will never back down from this! I was so comfortable in flannel shirts and "rugby shirts" that would, today, be XXXL size (was a L back then). I haaate the tight clothes, spandex in everything, clothes out now. And pants that are super tapered that hipsters started wearing & now everyone does. I suppose it would look ridiculous on me anyway. I can't decide if I should try to stay up to date with clothes or if that would look even worse.

by Anonymousreply 5004/09/2019

I'd like to get through one whole day without feeling tired, until bedtime.

by Anonymousreply 5104/09/2019

I've been tired ALL DAY EVERY DAY for at least 3 YEARS.

by Anonymousreply 5204/09/2019

I can't smoke pot two nights in a row anymore. I just turned 49 last week, and my body just can't handle it; I feel dehydrated and fatigued for a few days afterwards, can't think very clearly, and become susceptible to colds/infections more easily. I'm going to give once every weekend a try, and if that's too much, maybe only every other weekend.

I wouldn't even bother with pot anymore, except I can't enjoy sex without it. If I'm not high, giving a blowjob is like sucking on a dildo to me. :(

by Anonymousreply 5304/09/2019

When I get together with friends we talk about our medications and aches and pains. We used to talk about hot sex. Gray pubic hairs.

by Anonymousreply 5404/09/2019

every time I bend over to pick something up I fart. I suppose I should just be glad the old hole is still tight enough.

by Anonymousreply 5504/09/2019

I also can't remember the source of where I heard something. I remember the facts - but where it came from is sometimes lost on me. I usually am good at attributing jokes though.

These days, with so much information on tons of websites and tv channels, youtube channels, netflix, etc...constantly flying in your face at 100x the rate of the past, I think it would be more common in all age groups. I wonder if it has been studied.

by Anonymousreply 5604/09/2019

Noice. I love silence. Clubs are out of question because of the heavy noice. I travel a lot and few years ago spent all nights partying. Now I find myself in my hotel room planning next day thinking I should go out but I am sleepy and the bed is nice. Sad. I have also began to hire escorts because that way I still get hot young guys and without hours of trying to find someone I could tolerate. These are things I couldn’t imagine five years ago.

by Anonymousreply 5704/09/2019

When I get together with friends the retirement conversation comes up - as in when are you going to retire. I don't want to retire because I know the next conversations will be about who just died. The last year or so when I read or see someone has passed I start doing the math. I don't like being this way. I worked hard my whole life and I am lucky to have a job that I still enjoy but I want to be able to enjoy the fruits of my labor - but how do you enjoy what you know will be the last act? I get very weepy when I am by myself thinking about it all.

by Anonymousreply 5804/09/2019

^ have begun, couldn’t have imagined

by Anonymousreply 5904/09/2019

The mere thought of going out for a night of drinking and bar-hopping makes you feel tired. That used to be a favorite activity, but now the appeal is just GONE.

by Anonymousreply 6004/09/2019

Being able to say whatever I want, whenever I want, and wherever I want, and getting away with it. And yes, I have sense enough to know when it's better to just keep my mouth shut.

by Anonymousreply 6104/09/2019

I'm another one who would need at least two days to recover from an all-night-bender. I used to be able to drink profusely until the wee hours, sleep most of it off, and then wake up in the early afternoon with only a slight hangover that would be easily eliminated with coffee, toast-eggs-and-bacon, and a nice poop and shower. Then I would go out drinking again that evening!

Those days are over. The last time I had a bender was this past New Year's Eve, and I thought I would die the following day. I was achy all over, with a headache that wouldn't quit, eyes I could barely keep open, and an insatiable desire for ice-cold water. I must've drunken two full pitchers of water that day. The second day was better, but I was still lethargic, thirsty, and unable to concentrate on anything. I finally fully recovered the morning of the third day. I decided right then and there that I'd never drink like that again.

by Anonymousreply 6204/09/2019

My used condoms have wrinkles.

by Anonymousreply 6304/09/2019

Friends are just ...gone. This is more of a big city phenomenon, I think. I live in NYC and all of my close friends from my 20s and early 30s have long since moved away. A couple have died. I still have one or two around - but I see them once a month at best.

It's weird though - I feel like a stranger in my own city.

Also, I used to want to take over the world when I was young. Now? I just want another another cookie before bed. I have almost no ambition left above and beyond keeping my career going and generating some money.

I don't want to wish my life away, but part of me is looking forward to being too old for people to expect much from me.

by Anonymousreply 6404/09/2019

Getting doughy.

by Anonymousreply 6504/09/2019

R63, oh, honey, that’s not the only thing you have that has wrinkles. We agreed not to tell you, though.

by Anonymousreply 6604/09/2019

Stopped dying my hair recently and went out and bought hair clippers then shaved most of it off. I feel much better as I was always trying to hide the grey and I got depressed if my hair looked a mess. So I am saving a lot of money and no more trips to the barbershop. Have met a number of friends who have not even noticed that the dark hair has gone. Aging is not as bad as people say, its all about your state of Heath and your state of mind.

by Anonymousreply 6704/09/2019

June Allyson is now my favorite actress.

by Anonymousreply 6804/09/2019

Realizing I am older than a lot of actors who I could swear were older than me.

by Anonymousreply 6904/09/2019

Hearing songs from high school on the oldies station. Yikes!

by Anonymousreply 7004/09/2019

EVERYONE looks absurd in skinny jeans!

by Anonymousreply 7104/09/2019

Your body starts to creak like your house.

by Anonymousreply 7204/09/2019

Something hurts for no damn reason ... so you ignore it, and usually it goes away because it's just an aging ache.

But you know that --one day-- it will be a harbinger of something serious.

by Anonymousreply 7304/09/2019

For today's hipsters, everything old is new again.

Tell me this photo doesn't look current. It was taken in 1964.

The clothing styles of the young woman and the young man, who just passed, LSD researcher Ralph Metzner, looks like so many hipsters walking around in Brooklyn! Especially the young woman.

by Anonymousreply 7404/09/2019

Ooops, I forgot to add...the woman above is married to Robert Thurman and is Uma's mother. She was formerly married to Timothy Leary, who is also in the photo. Nena had four children with Robert Thurman.

by Anonymousreply 7504/09/2019

I despise social media and stupid reality shows and talk shows and they all the people enraptured with such things are trash!

by Anonymousreply 7604/09/2019

True r73. When I used to get some ache or pain, my first thought was "oh, I must've slept wrong." I'm now at an age where my first thought is "omg, could it be cancer!?"

by Anonymousreply 7704/09/2019

When I reach for my contact lenses and just say "Fuck It" and put on the glasses because it's easier. (I am not a candidate for Lasik).

Ear, nose, and back hair.

When it gets dark at 7 and I can't wait until 10 so I can go to bed - and then waking up at 3 a.m. to pee.

by Anonymousreply 7804/09/2019

You can watch episodes of Last of the Summer WIne and find it funny. Howard is my favorite.

by Anonymousreply 7904/09/2019

You think current pop music is absolute garbage and you wonder how anyone can listen to it.

by Anonymousreply 8004/09/2019

No sex drive anymore.

by Anonymousreply 8104/09/2019

Have ear hair already, been almost a year since I’ve had sex (I’m also getting pickier and pickier with age - I’m also in LA where everyone thinks they are a 10), starting to get one or two wild eyebrow hairs. Head hair thinning. Only thing that is good is that I’m in better shape than I was ten years ago...FWIW (and only straight guys seem to notice) :-/.

by Anonymousreply 8204/09/2019

I can't eat fast food anymore - always makes me sick. The ear hair thing has really kicked into high gear this past year (I'm 49). I feel like I have to monitor my ear hair every 3-4 days now.

I hate driving at night - that never bothered me years ago, but the reduced vision just bugs the shit out of me and makes me nervous.

I think I'm getting cheaper as I get older. I eat out a lot and the prices vs. cost of ingredients is starting to get on my nerves. There's so much overpriced stuff on menus now - $8 for a handful of grilled brussel sprouts with parmesan cheese is an outrage. (ingredients are maybe 40 cents). I never cared much before, but now it's ruining my good time.

by Anonymousreply 8304/09/2019

Prostate cancer at age 60. Now 72.

by Anonymousreply 8404/09/2019

You look forward to having a bowel movement.

by Anonymousreply 8504/09/2019

I have stopped being impressed by restaurants. I always hear about the newest place that does amazing things.

It’s all bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 8604/09/2019

You forget that you read a thread on this exact subject a few months ago and another one a few months before that.

And also, like someone above said, the contact lenses become a bother and so you wear the old man glasses.

And - you see old men on Scruff and then notice that they’re two years younger than you.

by Anonymousreply 8704/09/2019

[quote] I must've drunken two full pitchers of water that day.

You must have water on the brain.

by Anonymousreply 8804/09/2019

R18: I've been the InfoTech/InfoSec field for 25+ years so things like remotes and things don't confuse me.

My favorite story though - the spouse was in the hospital. They were wigging out about his blood pressure and one night I noticed when they came in to have the machine do his BP the disastolic number was 68. Asked a nurse about it next day and was told I was probably getting it confused with pulse rate. Really?

Well never lie to someone in I.T./I.S. - because I then said to myself, the machine has to be simple enough for non-technologists to use it. So I found the logging tab went in and sure as shit, 114/68 BP reading at 2AM the night before. I told this to the doctor - he laughed when I told him. But he agreed, never assume the patients spouse doesn't know about tech.

by Anonymousreply 8904/09/2019

For me its the drinking thing and pot. Just like people upthread, if I drink the after effects are BRUTAL. The worst headache and nausea. Pot dehydrates me so bad and I drink 4 liters of water a day. It's bad. Can't smoke at night. Always a slight headache when I wake up and extreme dry mouth. Starting to get grey hair in my beard this year. I just turned 38. I'm shookith. This all just changed in the last two years.

by Anonymousreply 9004/09/2019

When I feel a fart coming on I run to the toilet because I am never sure what is going to come out.

by Anonymousreply 9104/09/2019

Wow. Most of these postings I could have written. Good to know at 65 that I'm not alone. Thankfully I'm in good health, don't have any prescriptions to worry about, can still cum once or twice a day if I'm up to it and enjoy making new friends. Though some days I prefer to be alone and watch old TV shows and movies, but I get restless and have to get outside or do something where I can be around friends or be productive in some way. To think that I now have no desire to go out to clubs and stay out late drinking. What a relief!

by Anonymousreply 9204/09/2019

Damn, 90% of the above plus I never leave the house unless I have to. I hate driving at night or in really sunny conditions. I've gotten some seniors discounts even though I'm not officially a senior.

by Anonymousreply 9304/09/2019

The drinking seems to be a theme here. I honestly don't know how I used to do it! When I think back on how much I was able to put away and still be functional and go to work the next day, it amazes me. I could drink hard liquor half the night, and in the morning I could get up and go to work like nothing happened. It I tried to drink like that now, I wouldn't be able to leave my house the next day!

And I don't miss it either. I still have a couple drinks here and there, but the thought of getting shitfaced holds no appeal for me anymore.

by Anonymousreply 9404/09/2019

I was born at 40 so lost interest in current music at the age of 12 a very long time ago. Always loved old movies and was creaming over Follies as a boy. Always hated too much noise in bars and discos and drinking too much.

So what's really killing me is getting senior discounts and not even asking. I started being sirred at about my late 40s but this senior thing which is fairly recent has thrown me for a loop. I was always the youngest in a group and then things suddenly turned and I became the oldest.

by Anonymousreply 9504/09/2019

I think rap music rots the brain.

by Anonymousreply 9604/09/2019

Knees and back aches from simple ordinary things, not from happy fun times.

by Anonymousreply 9704/09/2019

Two times in the last month I was carrying a package out of a store and someone asked me if I needed help with it. It's nice to know there are helpful people about in today's world, but a bit embarrassing that my age is showing. I wasn't struggling, I swear!

by Anonymousreply 9804/09/2019

Balls hanging to about mid-thigh on a warm day.

by Anonymousreply 9904/09/2019

You can gain weight in five minutes but as far as losing weight goes, you'd have a better chance of Chris Evans presenting hole in your living room.

by Anonymousreply 10004/09/2019

My memory and my joints. Both are going. Oh and no I don't smoke joints that affect my memory.

by Anonymousreply 10104/09/2019

I get the senior discount automatically now too!

These skinny jeans and muscle tees don’t fool anyone.

by Anonymousreply 10204/09/2019

[quote]I was always the youngest in a group and then things suddenly turned and I became the oldest.

That's happening to me now, and it's hard to take.

by Anonymousreply 10304/09/2019

I’ve quit being surprised when young people don’t know my cultural touchstones.

Who’s Ann Margaret? Elvis, maybe I’ve heard of him, not sure. Who was Burt Reynolds? Absolutely no one from old Hollywood.

by Anonymousreply 10404/09/2019

When furniture attacks.

by Anonymousreply 10504/09/2019

When my prolapse wouldn’t push back in.

by Anonymousreply 10604/09/2019

When candidates for the next presidential election are younger than you.

by Anonymousreply 10704/09/2019

When MeTV is your go to channel

by Anonymousreply 10804/09/2019

Not long ago, I fell down, and couldn't get up. My neighbor had to come by, and pick my (naked, shivering) ass off the floor. Most of the time, that wouldn't have bothered me (much),. I'm a little white guy, and my neighbor is tall, black and strong. He didn't get offended seeing me naked. But I hated being helpless like I was. He still calls me pretty much every day to make sure I'm okay. I'm lucky to have neighbors who care for me, but I wish I didn't have to depend on them.

by Anonymousreply 10904/09/2019

Yes and I love CoziTv and Antennae TV and all off brand over the air channels.

Looking at you, Grit and Bounce and Comet and Laff and H&I

by Anonymousreply 11004/09/2019

For the life of me, I really don't get Twitter's purpose (and I work for a B2B software company in Los Angeles.)

by Anonymousreply 11104/09/2019

r111 I think the world would be better off without Twitter. I hate it.

by Anonymousreply 11204/09/2019

Having sex with strangers. I used to love being a big slut, but after being with the same guy for 9 years, I'm too old to go out there and cruise guys for sex again. It's all too much work.

by Anonymousreply 11304/09/2019

Peeing multiple times during the night.

by Anonymousreply 11404/09/2019

When I watch the Country Music Awards

by Anonymousreply 11504/09/2019

I’m 40. I went for a brisk walk, maybe 2 to 3 miles, and when I finish - my body aches. Lower back, joints, hips?? legs,… All of the pain. I used to be able to walk and feel absolutely Nada.

by Anonymousreply 11604/09/2019

When you're standing in the checkout line, you have no idea who the fuck half the people on the magazine covers are anymore. And you couldn't care less.

by Anonymousreply 11704/09/2019

I don't understand Twitter and replied to Facebook like I was on DL. I got such surprising comments that I was afraid the police were coming as I believed my "friends" would report me as a pervert. I deleted all my comments and have been afraid to comment on Facebook ever again.

by Anonymousreply 11804/09/2019

My 41 years old work collegue has a 26 years old bf. They have been together for 2-3 years and started dating when he was just 23. The boy just finished college and is currently looking for his first job. We often have 10-12h work days and I'm always looking forward to a relaxed evening, weekend or vacation with my partner. He usually spends all his free time in the gym and often goes clubbing on the weekends with his boy. Also basically has to pay for all dinners, activities and vacations since the parents still support the bf financially. It must be fun to fuck a twentysomething stud, but I'm really glad that my partner and I have the same interests, he can pay for his own meals, rent and vacations and I don't have to spend every single minute in the gym to stay in shape. Also don't have to be embarrassed when using my reading glasses at a restaurant to read the menu. Not wanting to the deal with the drama and life circumstances of a twenty something boy makes me officially old I guess.

by Anonymousreply 11904/09/2019

I never go shopping anymore, I have two of everything ever made. Now I spend more time discarding "treasures" I never needed in the first place. Dollar wise, I probably have two retirement accounts worth of things that I simply couldn't do without, way back when. I still find packages that I never bothered to open, hidden away in a closet or in a storage bin. I have to watch my eating, as I get nauseated if I overdo it. This, of course, makes me worry about pancreatic cancer. I have to be careful about the way I lie down or I can't catch my breath, which actually scares me. It's just one wonderful event after another.

by Anonymousreply 12004/09/2019

I hear the distant path, calling me back to myself.

by Anonymousreply 12104/09/2019

I have to let it linger. I have to. I have to. I have to let it linger.

by Anonymousreply 12204/09/2019

When I ask for directions to the hospital, I get directions to the cemetery.

by Anonymousreply 12304/09/2019

I started going to Vegas for the shows

by Anonymousreply 12404/09/2019

lol I'm going to vegas for a show at the end of the month, r124.

by Anonymousreply 12504/09/2019

You get fat from reading a menu.

Gaining weight takes 5 minutes.

Losing weight takes 5 months.

(Liposuction only takes a few hours though...)

by Anonymousreply 12604/09/2019

I'm still in love with the college friend I fell in love with 20 years ago. Dark, handsome, fit, sensitive.

Other guys warned me he was straight but liked to tease guy guys.

I've never connected with anyone, gay or straight, as much as him. Nothing remotely physical happened, but we were best friends for a year.

He makes six figures now and has a wife and kids in the Midwest. We're still friends on social media. I just messaged him tonight, alone in my NYC apartment, saying hey.

by Anonymousreply 12704/09/2019

Holy shit - r127 - I have the same weird thing & he was the same kind of guy with gay guys (mostly me - I don't think everyone else was as open about it back then). We also got along so well, I'd sit in his dorm room every night for hours talking to him. I cannot find a damn thing about him except his bar registration. He's completely off all social media. The last I saw of him was in 2003 in NYC. And we're in the reverse. He's licensed in / living in NY and I am in the midwest. I emailed his work email years ago, but it either went to spam or he decided not to reply (which was somewhat unlike him but maybe he moved past the whole thing). I am so curious what he looks like... probably bald given the early pattern that started in law school.

by Anonymousreply 12804/09/2019

R116 wow I am 43 and can walk two hours or more and never have any of that happen.

by Anonymousreply 12904/09/2019

I have one like that, too, r127 r128. I thought we were going to the chapel when we graduated. Instead, I moved away, and he married a woman. He would seek me out over the years to implore me to consider being his...male equivalent of a mistress, I guess is the best thing to call it. I was not interested.

I emailed him maybe ten years ago, but never heard back.

by Anonymousreply 13004/09/2019

I don't respond to as many DL threads as I used to.

by Anonymousreply 13104/09/2019

I'm only 41 but pay for sex on occasion. It depresses me. I don't think I'm bad looking but I feel that I'm invisible these days on the gay scene. Guys aren't interested anymore, even at a sauna. When you can't get laid at a sauna you know it's over. I used to get a fair amount of attention. Sometimes it depresses me and i get suicidal thoughts. But i guess its how it is. Gay men are cold.

by Anonymousreply 13204/09/2019

I remember that when our friendship was developing, thinking, this is how it's supposed to be, this is how my father met my mother, and how so many great creative couples met — in college.

We were both raised serious Catholic boys. In college, we were in writing seminars together. Although he was quite a hetero lothario, he sought me out, striking up a friendship, showing up outside my apartment for "advice." Even after I submitted stories about being gay.

It seems ridiculous now. Today, we would've been able to explore "heteroflexibility" and maybe kiss each other. But in 1996, I couldn't even address the fact that I was attracted to him, even when we went out drinking. Instead, 20 years later, I still love him and wonder what his lips would taste like.

by Anonymousreply 13304/09/2019

I understand why bi guys end up with women now. At least that gives them some stability and comfort in their lives as they age. We gays mostly end up alone. It doesn't always get better, that campaign was bullshit. It's a lonely life as a gay man. Fun in your 20s but that's it really. Most gay guys also have emotional problems as a result.

by Anonymousreply 13404/09/2019

Being with a guy for 20 years and when you look at him you still love him as much as you did then, but when he looks at you, all he sees is an old man he's no longer attracted to.

by Anonymousreply 13504/09/2019

R135 doesn't that happen with straight people, too?

by Anonymousreply 13604/09/2019

When I started preferring a nice dinner with close friends and conversations over wine over bar-hopping.

by Anonymousreply 13704/09/2019

It's sad.

by Anonymousreply 13804/09/2019

[quote] Big thick wiry white hairs in my eyebrows. It's like fishing line.

[quote] And along with that, the realization that manicured eyebrows make me look like a post menopausal woman - in my case, Mom.

For eyebrows, there's some middle ground between long fishing line and post-menopausal woman. Just get out a fine-tooth comb and scissors and clip those eyebrows.

by Anonymousreply 13904/09/2019

Reason.

Truth.

Integrity.

Thoughtfulness.

But, who am I kidding, right? What does any of that even mean?

by Anonymousreply 14004/09/2019

well, smell r89! she found the “logging” tab!

by Anonymousreply 14104/10/2019

My partner and I used to have hot passionate sex now we're just friends, no sex.

by Anonymousreply 14204/10/2019

Younger gays, this thread is your future.

by Anonymousreply 14304/10/2019

Decreased stamina and less restful sleep.

by Anonymousreply 14404/10/2019

Over hearing young people having conversations and bothered they use the word fuck too much.

by Anonymousreply 14504/10/2019

Spending the weekend doing nothing but lying on the couch and watching Netflix sounds like absolute heaven.

by Anonymousreply 14604/10/2019

The luxury, after leaving a career, that there are some days when you don't have to do damn thing if you don't want to.

by Anonymousreply 14704/10/2019

you don't need signs of aging other than coming to the DL and reading threads.

by Anonymousreply 14804/10/2019

Limp dick

by Anonymousreply 14904/10/2019

I love all you bitches on this thread! We all have the same issues. It’s amazing.

Special hugs coming to r132! We love you.

by Anonymousreply 15004/10/2019

Not having to bathe for months at a time! Heaven

by Anonymousreply 15104/10/2019

r151 misread OP's thread. This is not Aging homeless.

by Anonymousreply 15204/10/2019

Realizing my best times are behind me. I used to look forward to the future. I also dread Christmas.

by Anonymousreply 15304/10/2019

[quote]Over hearing young people having conversations and bothered they use the word fuck too much.

Reading aging gays' posts on Datalounge and being bothered that they type "over hearing" instead of "overhearing."

No, wait. That has bothered me at every age.

by Anonymousreply 15404/10/2019

[quote]I also dread Christmas.

I have always dreaded Xmas as an adult.

by Anonymousreply 15504/10/2019

R155 - Thank you. I used to get excited about buying my family gifts, trimming a tree, putting up lights. Now I just don’t participate at all. And I hate those damn Salvation Army donation seekers in front of the store.

by Anonymousreply 15604/10/2019

[quote]And I hate those damn Salvation Army donation seekers in front of the store.

I am purposely surly with them. I try to avoid my regular chain supermarket from Thanksgiving to Christmas.

by Anonymousreply 15704/10/2019

i'm 55 and I swear half my metabolism is geared toward ear hair growth. The other half of my metabolism is for converting all food and drink to gas.

by Anonymousreply 15804/10/2019

r153, don't be discouraged. all of us are only on this planet for a short period of time. live life today and don't look back and dwell on what you do not have. today is a gift. sunshine is a gift. oxygen is a gift. nature is a gift. enjoy it and know that you are apart of life at any age.

by Anonymousreply 15904/10/2019

Stuart Smalley at r159!

I’m kidding. Hell, I even gave r132 hugs!

by Anonymousreply 16004/10/2019

New York Times begins to look either misguided or biased, instead of insightful and enlightening.

by Anonymousreply 16104/10/2019

My 20's, 30's and 40's were great. As I got toward 50 all the fun started, the hearing loss the right leg just going out from under me. Nobody warned me about this stuff. One warning I did get - you'll bleed from both ends - not me but the spouse who's 9 years younger than me.

The hearing thing - all a result of me having ear infections as a kid. Apparently scar tissue retracts the eardrums. I went through all sorts of tests and a visit to a doctor I'd been seeing for allergies was the factor that brought it to focus. The Ear and Nose folks couldn't figure it out and chalked it up to Menieres Syndrome. The allergy doc - he mentioned the ear infections and was the one who looked in my ears and said "Your eardrums are retracting." I thanked him for being the one who figured out the issue.

by Anonymousreply 16204/10/2019

Having no desire to interact with younger gay men because they will never understand what the 80s and early 90s were like for our generation. That also applies generally to straight people . The drinking issue is so relatable too. I'm 62 and up until about a year ago could go out with friends and spend hours eating and drinking especially in the summer. Then one day I woke up and felt AWFUL and decided I had to change. That was only part of the problem though. The other is that people expect you one to keep the party rolling and when you abdicate that role they don't quite get why.

by Anonymousreply 16304/10/2019

Will be 60 at the end of the year. Yes, the nose hair, ear hair and graying pubes started at the age of 50, but I manage to keep up with the ear hair, nose hair and straying eyebrow wires. I'm noticing the occasional aches and pains from seemingly no injuries. Going to clubs and staying out really late ended years ago. Too much drama in that realm. Still, hanging out with friends a little younger than me keeps me from feeling old. As does listening to new music, usually considered alternative or underground. Trying not to dress in frumpy clothing by wearing classic cut items. Yeah, I'm old, but I'm fighting it.

by Anonymousreply 16404/10/2019

I check the obits every day, mainly to make sure I'm not listed.

by Anonymousreply 16504/10/2019

All of the physical stuff as stated above. But what has surprised me most is how many of my peers haven't become sage and wise, but rather ramp up their childishness and get into silly arguments. Maybe it's an onset of dementia.

by Anonymousreply 16604/10/2019

R161, what the fuck does that have to do with anything? And from a garbage right-wing site like "Virginia Patriot 1776"?

by Anonymousreply 16704/10/2019

One drink gives me a hangover for 2-3 days

by Anonymousreply 16804/10/2019

Eat one bag of chips and you gain 2 lbs.

by Anonymousreply 16904/10/2019

I love talking to my gay friends who are my age (50). Our interests are so different from when we were younger; the conversations are deeper

by Anonymousreply 17004/10/2019

When you have to go to the bathroom, you have to go RIGHT NOW!

by Anonymousreply 17104/10/2019

Especially at 3:17 AM, r171. What a pisser.

by Anonymousreply 17204/10/2019

I will now blow just about anybody. When I was 23, I was oh so selective. Now I see it as paying it forward for my own dotage.

by Anonymousreply 17304/10/2019

[quote] every time I bend over to pick something up I fart.

Great heavens! Is r55 the only one?

by Anonymousreply 17404/10/2019

You look forward to going to bed early.

by Anonymousreply 17504/10/2019

Remember that after 40 it's never just gas.

by Anonymousreply 17604/10/2019

Cherry angioma, skin tags, seborrheic keratosis, and liver spots.

by Anonymousreply 17704/10/2019

This.

by Anonymousreply 17804/10/2019

You lie in bed and things hurt. For no particular reason.

by Anonymousreply 17904/10/2019

I find myself watching the Weather Channel for hours.

by Anonymousreply 18004/10/2019

[quote]You lie in bed and things hurt. For no particular reason.

I’m just grateful when I’m in bed I can feel anything, hurting or otherwise.

by Anonymousreply 18104/10/2019

I started drinking decaf and using less salt: blood pressure.

by Anonymousreply 18204/10/2019

For those of us born in the 40s, and even 50s, there were some scary and desperate times trying to hook up with another gay in our youth. Now in our 70s, there are some scary and desperate times trying to navigate perhaps the last decade of our lives. Hopefully, most of us more than made up for it during the middle years, giving us plenty of memories to ponder.

Aches and pains are a reminder we are still alive. Deal with them.

by Anonymousreply 18304/10/2019

The funny thing is the pain I don't get that and I'm in my 50's now.

by Anonymousreply 18404/10/2019

On the bright side us oldsters will be gone when Earth becomes WaterWorld.

by Anonymousreply 18504/10/2019

I am enjoying reading the comments here. I’ll be 50 next year and I’m grateful to be alive because I’ve lost several friends my age. I don’t feel like I’ll live to be 90 and that’s ok with me. But I would like another 25 years!

by Anonymousreply 18604/10/2019

My dick seems to be getting smaller but my foreskin seems to be getting longer.

by Anonymousreply 18704/10/2019

Do dicks shrink when one gets older? A fuckbuddy commented mine seemed smaller. Maybe I need to exercise it more?

by Anonymousreply 18804/10/2019

R188 Do cardio to keep blood pumping.

by Anonymousreply 18904/10/2019

I love everyone on this thread and am grateful for all the replies.

by Anonymousreply 19004/10/2019

Every time you have an ache or a pain you think "cancer!"

Every time your bladder or bowel habits are off you think "cancer!"

Every time you feel tired or lethargic for more than 24 hours you think "cancer!"

by Anonymousreply 19104/10/2019

[quote]I can sit through a 14-hour documentary about the Roosevelts, and not want it to end.

But how many bathroom breaks?

by Anonymousreply 19204/10/2019

Cute young guys always think you're straight because they aren't attracted to you.

by Anonymousreply 19304/10/2019

While perusing the obituaries I'll see one with a photo of a real old fart then I'll read it and learn he's younger than I am.

by Anonymousreply 19404/10/2019

My under eye bags never go away no matter how thin I am.

by Anonymousreply 19504/10/2019

I considered the Times a joke a million years ago when I would read Walter Kerr and Clive Barnes. They were dreadful. This was the best the Times could do when it came to serious theater criticism? The paper always seemed a farce to me. Yeah I know people hold up Kerr as some sort of paragon but I thought he was a shitty writer when I was a kid. And hiring Barnes was total insanity. Who was that obese balletomane blowing?

by Anonymousreply 19604/10/2019

Posting in the wrong threads time and time again.

by Anonymousreply 19704/10/2019

When in a public place and you see a pathetic old man across the way- and then you realize.........its your reflection .....

I dream of sleeping a full 8 hour stint

Was told the shoulder injury is just the normal progression of joint deterioration...

Ive just had my 3rd heart attack....

by Anonymousreply 19804/10/2019

I was always a fast walker now everyone passes me.

by Anonymousreply 19904/11/2019

Being ignore on Grindr

by Anonymousreply 20004/11/2019

Oh, and R18 just leaves the volume control set to LOUD.

by Anonymousreply 20104/11/2019

I'm losing my eyesight, so I don't care that there are bags under them

by Anonymousreply 20204/11/2019

Karma isn’t fast enough. Fact is when karma comes I might be dead.

by Anonymousreply 20304/11/2019

When you get cataracts everyone looks like their photoshopped, filtered profile pix.

by Anonymousreply 20404/11/2019

Reading glasses. Reduced sex drive.

by Anonymousreply 20504/11/2019

Perusing a menu and dismissing menu items I at one time loved because they are not good for my health, digestion and new food allergies.

by Anonymousreply 20604/11/2019

Thinning hair, thinning lips, bushy eyebrows, hairy nose and ears.

In other words, losing hair where it counts and growing hair where it's unwanted. Gaining fat where you don't want it and losing it where you do.

by Anonymousreply 20704/11/2019

Having to thoroughly shake my penis out after urinating, lest I dribble pee into my underpants, thereby creating a visible wet spot on my crotch.

by Anonymousreply 20804/11/2019

Watching my parents get old. I’m “only” 38, but my parents had me young and are in their early 60’s now. Dad just had a hip replacement, mom is getting a mastectomy. They’ve always looked good, but are now really starting to look their age. Up until recently, I always saw my parents as young and vibrant as they were when i was growing up, and now I look at my dad and see his father, my grandfather. And i see myself and I see... my dad.

by Anonymousreply 20904/11/2019

Wanting to eat dinner at 4pm.

by Anonymousreply 21004/11/2019

I used to joke about people who got plastic surgery done and now I'm seriously considering getting my eye bags reduced.

by Anonymousreply 21104/11/2019

R209, I hear you.

Mom recently went to visit my brother in another state. He called me and said, “When did Mom get [italic]old[/italic]?”

by Anonymousreply 21204/11/2019

I bought a bedside urinal because I hate getting up and going to the toilet at 3:00 AM.

by Anonymousreply 21304/11/2019

I keep embalming fluid close by my nightstand so it's ready to insert!

by Anonymousreply 21404/11/2019

i feel i missed out on Nipsey Hussle while he was alive, and well...don't give a shit.

by Anonymousreply 21504/11/2019

I need to take a nap in the afternoon.

by Anonymousreply 21604/11/2019

Knees and tendons not so good. I can walk 20 miles a week and love doing it, make sure to have good shoes, but goddamn my knees and Achilles tendons feel it.

Memory can be disturbing. If I have to remember a part number, something like 86160-AC150, that I read off the part, type in to search for it, there's no small chance I 'll transpose at least a couple numbers. About a month ago I saw a screaming deal on some shoes that are more for summer, at least not shoes I needed to wear right after I got 'em. Earlier this week I was looking for something, came across those shoes, thought, "Oh yeah. I bought these, didn't I?"

by Anonymousreply 21704/11/2019

I turned into my dad.

by Anonymousreply 21804/11/2019

Maybe some of it's me being grouchier, people getting slimier and sloppier or maybe it's part of the ebb and flow and I've had an unusual run of bad experiences in recent times, but it feels like service and integrity at locally owned businesses is appreciably worse than it's been in years and decades past.

I mean, fast, sloppy haircut; pants left too long when hemmed; mechanic quoting ludicrous prices for parts; car stereo guy padding the labor time by about 100%; silly prices for utterly mediocre "farm-to-fork" food; etc.

I used to get all that shit at corporate-owned chain stores; it's depressing to feel like it's the new normal.

by Anonymousreply 21904/11/2019

I can deal with top of the head hair loss/thinning, but I used to have hairy, muscular legs. Now almost all the hair is gone.

by Anonymousreply 22004/11/2019

We are all getting older and must learn to embrace it. I was always a night owl and would party till dawn. Now I prefer to have dinner with friends and enjoy conversations. I was always able to eat what I like and stay slim, now I have to watch my weight and diet. I have lost most of my once great hair and have recently shaved it all off and actually feel better for it. I was full of insecurities about myself when I was younger and even though I am older I am much happier with who I am now and no longer care what people think of me. Getting old can be bad for some people, but if you learn to embrace and enjoy life it can be fun.

by Anonymousreply 22104/11/2019

Amazing thread. Early 60s here and relate to much if not all of what’s already been said.

This was my cold-water-in-the-face moment. I was trying on clothes in a fitting room at Macy’s. Since it had a three-way mirror, I was curious to see what my body really looked like. (Now I understand it was not curiosity but masochism.)

I stripped. Completely. Turned one way then another. I suppose when I’m dressed I still look reasonably slim and trim. (Call me delusional.) But naked in that mirror? Everything sagged. Every last part of my body was soft, limp, saggy. Hideous.

You know how shocked people are by hearing their voices played back to them. “That’s how I sound?” they ask. Well, that was my reaction looking at myself in the mirror. Do I really look like that?

by Anonymousreply 22204/11/2019

r222 Awwww...

by Anonymousreply 22304/11/2019

R222 Work out at home with some weights just 3 times a week and you will soon see your wobbly bitts firming up. 60 is not old these days and your body will firm up faster than you think.

by Anonymousreply 22404/11/2019

Agree R224 - you need weights pronto. Won't take more than 2 months or so.

by Anonymousreply 22504/11/2019

Multiple twinks contact me looking for Daddy

by Anonymousreply 22604/11/2019

R226 - same here. Most on Grindr reply to me with offers of sex for $$$.

by Anonymousreply 22704/11/2019

Another sign is realizing how frightfully old your older siblings and cousins now look, and then saying to yourself "My God, am I THAT close to looking like THEM?

by Anonymousreply 22804/11/2019

When I'm naked in the bathroom, I try my damndest to avoid looking at my body in the mirror. Similar to r222.

by Anonymousreply 22904/11/2019

Having the body of an old sphinx cat despite weight training.

I can finally see my abs because of a recent manic phase, but the skin looks....droopy around them.

Also, I’ve had to avoid whitewall sneakers because they make me feel like it’s 1983 again.

Also, I do not have to assure too many straight guys they are “safe” from my homosexual proclivities anymore.

by Anonymousreply 23004/11/2019

When I got a prescription to Viagra, I knew I was “mature.”

by Anonymousreply 23104/11/2019

When I walk by a plate glass shop window I look at my refection and am shocked that I look so old. Nothing helps to make me look better.

by Anonymousreply 23204/11/2019

I feel like a pervert when I walk thru Abercrombie and Fitch at the mall. I can’t help myself though, there’s a lot of eye candy in there.

by Anonymousreply 23304/11/2019

Last night I was at the Parker Palm Springs - wanted to stop by for a pre-Coachella cocktail before this weekends madness, don't you know. I was with my nephew, his girlfriend and other bright and pretty young things. We were all so smart and cool. The cocktails were endless and the conversation delicious. Oh, the fun I had.

Today my nephew posted a group photo, and I thought "what is that great glob of potato and lard" in the middle?

by Anonymousreply 23404/11/2019

Your last drops because of gravity

by Anonymousreply 23504/11/2019

That should say your ass drops due to gravity

by Anonymousreply 23604/11/2019

Kevin Spacey won't shove his hand down your pants

by Anonymousreply 23704/11/2019

You can't squat without farting.

by Anonymousreply 23804/11/2019

You pout as you put away your turtleneck sweaters and base layers.

Sun’s out. Ropey neck’s out.

by Anonymousreply 23904/11/2019

During my bathroom reno I installed a 7' x 3' mirror opposite the glass-doored shower, which is my impartial reminder to keep lifting weights.

It's also my memento mori.

by Anonymousreply 24004/11/2019

Mirrors lie, R222. Mirrors lie!!!

by Anonymousreply 24104/11/2019

Cannot read the font size/lettering on the spine of a compact disc

by Anonymousreply 24204/12/2019

I can’t name any social media “influencers” nor do I care to know who they are.

by Anonymousreply 24304/12/2019

I have no idea who any of the guest judges are on Drag Race most weeks.

by Anonymousreply 24404/12/2019

I'm playing it safe. Just read through the Brett Somers thread and remembered every name mentioned. Many were the Match Game panelists. I'm finished trying to remember all these new people on TV, never mind all the You Tube "celebrities."

by Anonymousreply 24504/12/2019

My husband and I use to have wonderful sex and go to sleep cuddling every night. Now, we take turns going to bed early cause the late one has to listen to the other snore all night long. However, the late one gets dibs on the bed for a nap the next day.

Holidays come so often these days. Seems like Christmas was only a few months ago. We used to love putting up decorations and having parties. Now, we avoid everyone during the holidays and tell each other 'Merry Christmas' while watching COZI TV and Hallmark movies.

I am 6'4" and 180lbs but have poo-pot belly that looks like the baby of Chrissy Metz. It won't go away even if I eat nothing. Hubby eats anything and looks like Dom DeLuise...always.

We have let all our friends go. They seem so boring and trite these days. We believe we have become mystics and don't need to talk to communicate. Besides, everyone mumbles ~ people, tv, even the dog.

by Anonymousreply 24604/12/2019

All my good friends have died. However, I still talk to them and I swear they reply.

by Anonymousreply 24704/12/2019

r242, what’s a compact disc spine?

by Anonymousreply 24804/13/2019

R246, I love you guys. You sound great!

by Anonymousreply 24904/13/2019

R247 I do the same thing, I talk to the deceased, my first partner and my parents, I feel they are listening.

by Anonymousreply 25004/13/2019

That's sweet R246. My husband and I exchange grunts as we pass in the hallway. It's nice.

by Anonymousreply 25104/13/2019

We used to love entertaining. No more. It takes all our energy to make a Blue Apron meal at night.

by Anonymousreply 25204/13/2019

I’m totally alone. I ordered two chicken dinners to get a whole chicken at a steakhouse. I ordered a 2nd drink and desert so I would appear I’m not by myself.

by Anonymousreply 25304/13/2019

65 yrs old and my dick doesn't go up anymore. It's either age or the anti-depressant and diabetes meds. I get depressed because of it so thank god I have anti-depressants.

by Anonymousreply 25404/13/2019

I'm constantly raging at websites that use that faded out font that I simply can't read. Who the fuck ever thought that would be a good font to use? I want them dead! I've had to put the Windows 10 magnifier icon in my taskbar, set on full page, because I have to use it so much.

by Anonymousreply 25504/13/2019

To quote the great Sarah Palin: All of 'em!

by Anonymousreply 25604/13/2019

With prostate surgery, one's penis recedes into one's body cavity a distance equal to the length of the removed prostate. Suddenly one has foreskin again and if the prostate was really big, a very short penis. Doctors never tell you this before surgery and deny it happens when you question them after surgery. Well, they are in the slice and dice business so it might be bad for business.

by Anonymousreply 25704/13/2019

I'm in my mid 50's, and one of my parents, as well as a great many friends and colleague's parents are dying.

Not feeling refreshed from sleeping. But then, even as a kid, I rarely did. Naps are my saviours. Other than that, I'm holding up pretty well.

by Anonymousreply 25804/13/2019

For those who've lost interest in sex, how are you now keeping busy?

by Anonymousreply 25904/13/2019

At 56 my life is a testament to my friends that didn't live through the AIDS crisis. I live each day lucky to be alive.

by Anonymousreply 26004/13/2019

The one silver lining to my decrepitude even with gray hair is that I still get hit on by guys. Too bad for them there won't be none. But still.

by Anonymousreply 26104/13/2019

R248 Thanks for caring / enclosed should contain more than you'll care to know re CD spines...(hint: they are like spines on a book...)

by Anonymousreply 26204/13/2019

A bit late, but thanks for the support/comments/suggestions/empathy.

R241, I’m especially grateful for your, ahem, clarification.

by Anonymousreply 26304/13/2019

[quote] R259 For those who've lost interest in sex, how are you now keeping busy?

Eating, Drinking, Murder She Wrote, Porn.

by Anonymousreply 26404/13/2019

In that order?! That’s heresy!

Murder, She Wrote should ALWAYS come first!

by Anonymousreply 26504/13/2019

My students protesting that knowing the difference between East and West Berlin was a "random" detail "literally" no one in the world knew or cared about.

by Anonymousreply 26604/13/2019

Also: that not even their moms knew who the president was at the very end of WWII.

by Anonymousreply 26704/13/2019

I never had in luck with sex so you can’t miss what you never had. I do miss really good porn like there was in the 80s.

What streaming has Murder She Wrote ?

by Anonymousreply 26804/13/2019

[quote] What streaming has Murder She Wrote?

COSI TV

by Anonymousreply 26904/13/2019

I’m sorry you had to deal with that stupidity, r266 r267.

I think my head would explode.

by Anonymousreply 27004/13/2019

I have very mixed feelings about getting older.

by Anonymousreply 27104/13/2019

[quote]Cannot read the font size/lettering on the spine of a compact disc

You could have just said "still use compact discs," R242.

by Anonymousreply 27204/13/2019

Wow, I’m really surprised by a lot of your comments. A lot of you guys are so young to have these kinds of problems/issues. This is a sincere question. Did you just abuse yourselves when you were younger? I’m by no means a prude or a health nut or have great genes in my family history, but at 67 y/o I still have hard ones every morning, work out everyday. Just got back from a vacation where my partner and I walked a minimum of 6 miles everyday. I’m nothing special. Never smoked, only drank when I went out and usually got a good buzz. Really didn’t do many drugs. Kinda watched my diet but nothing religious. Only meds I take is 10mg lisinopril for blood pressure but it’s more of a prophylactic than a real necessity. With that said, hair growing out of the ears, gray pubes and those ever present wrinkles don’t stop no matter what you do.

by Anonymousreply 27304/13/2019

I did online jigsaw puzzles for 3 hours today while lying back in an easy chair with my feet on a hassock. And was perfectly content.

Here, try it. You might like it.

by Anonymousreply 27404/13/2019

I forget that including lots of specifics in my made up stories exposes my bs to others.

You know, 6 miles, 67 years, every day....

Oh, and I forgot that thing about protesting too much.

Just let it suffice to say that I now feel better about myself.

by Anonymousreply 27504/13/2019

I spend hours looking for good porn. Reruns aren’t as good.

by Anonymousreply 27604/13/2019

Re: penis shortening after cancerous prostate removal. They told me that I'd lose perhaps 1cm, or less than half an inch. Lost a full inch but perhaps a quarter inch has returned. A straight hockey buddy whom I've seen naked many times over the years lost much more, like two or three inches (he was impressively endowed five years ago) and it seems not to have returned in the least. Makes him like everybody else now.

by Anonymousreply 27704/13/2019

I'm gonna be 35 soon...still look great but my desire and stamina are waning.

The heavy drinking I can no longer do. I have switched over to wine instead of hard liquor.

Working long days is starting to wear thin on me....when I get home I just want to sleep.....going out with friends is now a dreaded chore.

I am no longer a people pleaser, if you hate me...who cares. Love to say no to things I don't want to genuinely care to do.

I don't know how my mom did it....she had me at 40....she's now 74. My dad is 79. They are pretty healthy...because the stay active... exercise and eat healthy and laugh and have a big circle of friends and neighbors.

I have always been attracted to older guys....still am.

The oldest guy I'm friends with is 88!!!....he does not look it....he can pass for 65....his secret? Healthy eating and exercise....no drinking or smoking.

My last boyfriend was 59....hairy dirty blonde German descent....always horny.

I'm in bed right now (just woke from a nap) as I type this debating whether to go out tonight with my best friend....dinner and drinks.

by Anonymousreply 27804/13/2019

35? GRRRRRRRRRRRRT

by Anonymousreply 27904/13/2019

Family holidays are not the same. My parents and aunts and uncles are dead. The two that are left are too decrepit for get together. My siblings have their own families and grand kids and no longer invite me to holidays except for Christmas Day. After the elders died I began to feel like a satellite circling at a distance to my siblings' families. It was a hard transition and to cope I emotionally distanced myself from them. For a long times I've been closer to friends than to family, but now they're moving away and dying off.

by Anonymousreply 28004/13/2019

Oh honey, r278, if you're feeling old at 35, you're on the fast track to caftans.

by Anonymousreply 28104/13/2019

[quote]I am no longer a people pleaser, if you hate me...who cares

This is the best part of getting older. You get to a DILLIGAF point and don’t care what other people think.

by Anonymousreply 28204/14/2019

I didn't expect to feel this old at 50. I'll be 51 on the 17th of April and when I wake up in the morning I'm walking (shuffling) like an old man until I get warmed up. Plus, when I sit for long periods of time it's the same thing. I feel like I might be getting arthritis in my goddam feet too! I've been a gym bunny my whole life and have run TWELVE marathons since I was 35. To look at me I'm in phenomenal shape, but the "aches and pains" are really getting to me. Is this fucking normal at 51????

by Anonymousreply 28304/14/2019

All that running has damaged your joints, r283.

by Anonymousreply 28404/14/2019

R284 beat me to it.

by Anonymousreply 28504/14/2019

Dry winter skin, especially on the back.

Cracked fingertips, again in winter months

Curling toenails

Thinning skin on forearms

Insidious anosmia and phantosmia

by Anonymousreply 28604/14/2019

R280, I've gone through the same process. I wish I had some sage advice.

by Anonymousreply 28704/14/2019

I have one old friend about 400 miles away. All the others have moved to box-city. Fortunately, I have a brother and two sisters remaining and my mother who is now 98, in good health but uses a walker. I'm 77 so the signs of getting old are common occurrences in my daily life. I'm fighting a losing battle with prostate cancer too. I apologize for the complaining, as I actually have better than a lot of people my age and younger.

by Anonymousreply 28804/14/2019

[quote]I apologize for the complaining,

When you complain about something, then you can apologize. I didn’t see any complaints in your post, just relaying of information.

In addition to your friend 400 miles away, you’ve got tons of friends right here at your fingertips, also.

by Anonymousreply 28904/14/2019

My hands have recently become SO SENSITIVE to the cold. Even when the temperature is a mildly cold 39 degrees outside I have to put gloves on when I go on my daily 2.1 mile walk.

by Anonymousreply 29004/14/2019

[quote]I have to put gloves on when I go on my daily 2.1 mile walk.

You're okay if you limit it to 1.9, though?

by Anonymousreply 29104/14/2019

[quote]a mildly cold 39 degrees

honey, 69°F is cold to me, and i’m only 42.

by Anonymousreply 29204/14/2019

I have prostate cancer. I've been getting hormone treatments for four years because prostate cancer feeds on testosterone. My genitals have been decimated, my sex drive is non-existent but my romantic life with my husband has never been better.

by Anonymousreply 29304/14/2019

RE: What are the signs you notice that remind you that you're getting older?

My knees...

by Anonymousreply 29404/14/2019

I once measured the distance of my walk by setting the trip meter in my car back to zero. That is the approximate distance of the route that I walk.

by Anonymousreply 29504/14/2019

R292-I can't stand HOT weather. I don't like the temperature going above 65 degrees. I should move to San Francisco. It rarely gets hot there and it NEVER gets cold (less than 40 degrees)

by Anonymousreply 29604/14/2019

Funny thread. Today I just realized that I was 25 years older than a 30 year old and mayor Pete was born the year I graduated high school. Yeehaw!!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 29704/14/2019

Some might have gone with "approximate 2 mile walk," r295.

by Anonymousreply 29804/14/2019

I used to love being outside in bitterly cold weather, but always hated the heat. Now I'm at the point I yearn for the summer and stay inside as much as possible during the cold months. I just can't take the cold. I think my blood must have thinned down to water consistency. Although I do still love to have the heat go off at 10pm in the cold months because i like to sleep in a cold room under the electric blanket. Then the heat comes back on automatically at 5am.

The skin on my arms and the tops of my hands has turned into crepe paper. And don't even get me started on the liver spots.

by Anonymousreply 29904/14/2019

When I started hating cold weather!

by Anonymousreply 30004/14/2019

I trimmed the ear and nose hairs and put some face cream on my turkey neck before getting on here today--even though you can't see me. It makes me feel better! R293 that's what we like to hear...old age and its infirmities not slowing down the love with your husband. A real soldier, you are. Best wishes on managing your health.

I used to laugh when I knew my parents' friends by what ailed them. "She's the one with the new hip." "He's got cancer." Now it's my friends who I refer to with what's slowing them down. What's slowing me down at the moment is my surgeon as I wait for him to speed up the process to get my right knee replaced. I had to take a leave of absence from work, the pain and limping had gotten so bad a few weeks ago. Until he gets me walking and back to work, I won't be able to pay the bill for what Medicare doesn't cover.

Reading this thread over the past week has not only made my downtime go faster, but it has brought us together due to the commonalities of old age that we share. How many times have you thought when reading, "Boy, you're not the only one."

Better we laugh about our situation than cry. Some of us have had it worse than others: coming out, facing rejection and even ridicule, and not necessarily being felt equal among others. But we have shown resilience and made it this far. We can and will make it to the finish line with the strength we've always had.

by Anonymousreply 30104/14/2019

Such a sad thread. I hope i die before 60

by Anonymousreply 30204/14/2019

At what age does old man smell begin to set in?

by Anonymousreply 30304/14/2019

R303 For some of us, maybe not until we're dead. I think it happens for some, once they're retired, and don't go to work every day. They decide that it isn't important anymore to shower every day. Perhaps as dementia sets in, they don't remember when the last time was that they showered. If the beard stubble and crustiness around the mouth and ears don't register, then that's when it really begins to stink.

by Anonymousreply 30404/14/2019

It’s nest smell. Some don’t ventilate well at home and it’s as if they off-gas in public. Like carpet.

by Anonymousreply 30504/14/2019

I agree R305. And I forgot to include R304 that if they're not showering, there's a good chance they're not changing their clothes, either.

by Anonymousreply 30604/14/2019

The weirdest thing-You see someone that you think of as older than you as if you're only 30 still-and this 43 year old man is actually TEN years younger than you!

by Anonymousreply 30704/14/2019

Good point R307 as I do know what you mean. My brain thinks it is 30 years younger than my body and expects me to do things that I'm no longer able to do. I believe this age difference relates to how old we feel, which seems to signal what state of health we are in. If you feel young, you're most apt to view others from your perceived age. Congratulations, youngster.

by Anonymousreply 30804/14/2019

An above poster mentioned the Ken Burns documentary series on the Roosevelts, I also loved it. I could've easily watched another 14 hours on the Roosevelts, fascinating stuff.

by Anonymousreply 30904/14/2019

I'm 53 now-DEFINITELY eldergay-Though inside I still feel 30 as I posted before. When I was 21 years old in 1987 PBS broadcast Upstairs Downstairs. I was too young to watch in the 1970's. I LOVED the series. The characters became SO important to me. Upstairs Downstairs is definitely the type of British drama elder gays would love. But I was a gayling then and LOVED it.

by Anonymousreply 31004/14/2019

I was telling someone the other day that I still feel like I'm the same person I was when I was 16. He told me, "Yeah, you were born an old man."

by Anonymousreply 31104/14/2019

As I get older I've become a homebody, on nice days I don't mind staying in now. When I was younger I always wanted to go out and enjoy the day.

by Anonymousreply 312Last Monday at 2:35 AM

I got 5 gray hairs. 😭

by Anonymousreply 313Last Monday at 6:47 AM

Most HOMOS find that the worst thing about aging is becoming invisible to the HOT ,GOOD LOOKING guys.

by Anonymousreply 314Last Monday at 6:48 AM

I used to watch [italic]All in the Family[/italic] (in repeats) as a kid. Archie was always an old man to me.

Recently I found out that Carroll O’Connor was 48 when he started that series. I’m 47!

by Anonymousreply 315Last Monday at 6:59 AM

Yes. But Archie Bunker looked about 62/63.

by Anonymousreply 316Last Monday at 7:02 AM

Confusion about time. "Was that twenty years ago - or thirty years ago?" - that sort of thing.

People born in 1991 are HOW OLD now?

and more - "I've lived in this house HOW LONG?"

Seeing people you remember as young adults die of old age.

Middle age is strange. You're neither young nor old. In a way I'm ready to be old now. Live the life of a retiree.

by Anonymousreply 317Last Monday at 7:29 AM

Actually, I've found being old is kinda fun. I drive my convertible with the roof down on cloudy days. I wear my kilt to go for a walk along the ocean even if it's not Robbie Burns Day or NYE. Nobody cares because you're pretty much a) invisible or b) old enough not to be questioned.

Recently painted my doors, window trim and garage doors an eggplant colour to go against the weathered cedar shingles of the house. My neighbour asked if it was a good idea re: resale but I told him that it will look great with the lavender foundation plantings and yellow and white flowers that are perennials in my yard. Besides, when this place gets sold I'll presumably be dead and won't care about the money.

by Anonymousreply 318Last Monday at 8:08 AM

That’s my point, r316. But I don’t see myself that way.

by Anonymousreply 319Last Monday at 8:48 AM

I still put two spaces after a period.

by Anonymousreply 320Last Monday at 8:53 AM

I need more than two spaces that’s for sure.

Oh, you meant the punctuation. Carry on.

by Anonymousreply 321Last Monday at 8:55 AM

I still use checks.

And unlike many of you, I have the money to make sure they never bounce!

by Anonymousreply 322Last Monday at 8:58 AM

Belching and farting are no longer voluntary bodily functions.

by Anonymousreply 323Last Monday at 9:30 AM

How is belching different from burping?

by Anonymousreply 324Last Monday at 9:37 AM

MY EYES!! MY EYES!!

Within the last 6 months, it seems my eyes have turned into buttholes. Sort of a slit with wrinkled skin around them.

What the fuck is this fuckery?

by Anonymousreply 325Last Monday at 9:46 AM

Just wait until you have macular degeneration and slowly go blind.

by Anonymousreply 326Last Monday at 9:48 AM

R325 It's a natural prophylactic against photophobia. When you block out the light you don't wince at the sun.

by Anonymousreply 327Last Monday at 9:49 AM

Over the years the people I have liked have died or disappeared from my life. I haven't made a new friend in years.

by Anonymousreply 328Last Monday at 10:08 AM

over the last 4 years 3 close friends have died, they are irreplaceable.

by Anonymousreply 329Last Monday at 11:26 AM

[quote]My brain thinks it is 30 years younger than my body...

When I was in my 20s, my dad told me that his biggest challenge was realizing that the way he viewed himself was out of sync with the way his life actually was. He said it was if someone had taken a picture of him 25 years before, and permanently implanted that picture in his brain. He found it challenging not to live as though the picture was the reality. He told me this as a warning to what I would face later in life. I always remembered his advice. He was absolutely right.

So gaylings, when you see an eldergay acting as if he were a younger person, understand that he's probably being fooled by his mental version of himself - unable to reconcile with the reality of his current situation. That's sad, not funny.

by Anonymousreply 330Last Monday at 11:39 AM

And, R315, Ed Asner was in his early 40s when the Mary Tyler Moore Show premiered!

by Anonymousreply 331Last Monday at 12:32 PM

I think one reason most gay men think they look young for their age is that their concept of what 40 and 50 year olds look like was defined by what that age looked like when they were young, Forty and Fifty doesn’t look the same as it did in the 70s and 80s.

by Anonymousreply 332Last Monday at 12:42 PM

I said this in an another thread. In the movie MARTY(1955) Marty's mother and aunt are only in their 50's and they already act like OLD WOMAN.

by Anonymousreply 333Last Monday at 12:52 PM

[quote] 65 yrs old and my dick doesn't go up anymore. It's either age or the anti-depressant and diabetes meds

Even with cialis?

by Anonymousreply 334Last Monday at 5:09 PM

Exactly r332. How many people in their early 40s look like Carol O'Connor or Ed Asner today? And not just celebrities, regular people in their 40s don't look like that.

by Anonymousreply 335Last Monday at 5:12 PM

I had an embarrassing portent of incontinence to come. Let's say it was a bit more than "touch the cloth" as enshrined in Peepshow, for those who are fans among us.

I suppose an active life as a bottom may have had something to do with it but I couldn't make it to the commode in time.

Does anyone know if Kegel exercises will tighten my anal sphincter?

by Anonymousreply 336Last Monday at 5:17 PM

I'm sitting here thinking that when they cast actors for older parts, they have to be straight. It's because the gay genes keep us looking younger. Sorry O'Connor and Asner... Shoot, when I was in my 40s I was still passing for in my 30s. Weren't you?

by Anonymousreply 337Last Monday at 5:20 PM

Oh R336 how I relate to you ! Ive been doing anal kegel exercises since I was a young queen and some old tranny told me men loved to feel it around their cocks plus itll help you stay tight.I never stopped doing them though at 58 its been years since I had a good fuck. recently i was out with a friend and as we were walking back to the car and without even a twinge,out it came .Thats the second time in recent years thats happened so I cant help but think getting fucked 1000s of times now has a price to be paid. So no,I dont think kegel made a rats ass bit of difference in the long run.

by Anonymousreply 338Last Monday at 5:24 PM

I'm TIRED ALL DAY EVERY DAY. Even on a Saturday when I get a good nap in the late afternoon all I feel is LESS tired.

by Anonymousreply 339Last Monday at 5:27 PM

R339, have you tipped over a store display lately?

by Anonymousreply 340Last Monday at 7:30 PM

What does that mean?

by Anonymousreply 341Last Monday at 7:33 PM

R337, I looked 40 at 16.

by Anonymousreply 342Last Monday at 7:35 PM

R273. For those of us who where drunk and stoned for most of the 70's, I must say you must have been the boring nurd on the couch who never spoke and was the designated driver for the rest of us.

by Anonymousreply 343Last Monday at 7:42 PM

[quote]ust wait until you have macular degeneration and slowly go blind.

I've got a type of MD but if you get shots in the eye you can stave off the blindness and even improve your vision a bit.

It used to be hopeless (my poor father had it) but Boomers started doing their own research and hassling the medical powers that be to up their game and now at least there's some hope.

Stephen King has MD and I think he uses part of his wealth for MD research.

by Anonymousreply 344Last Monday at 8:05 PM

My dad had the "wet" kind and there was nothing to be done. He went through several yttrium laser sessions, but they were just making him blind faster,

by Anonymousreply 345Last Tuesday at 2:18 AM

R339, see a doctor.

I’m not being snarky. We all get more tired and welcome naps, but it’s not normal to be tired all the time.

by Anonymousreply 346Last Tuesday at 4:53 AM

[quote] ... so I cant help but think getting fucked 1000s of times now has a price to be paid. So no,I dont think kegel made a rats ass bit of difference in the long run.

That's dismaying r338. Must I look forward to a life in Depends?

by Anonymousreply 347Last Tuesday at 8:29 AM

^^^ Was it being fucked a lot or fisted a lot? That might make a difference.

by Anonymousreply 348Last Tuesday at 10:18 AM

Can't speak for r338 but I've never been fisted.

by Anonymousreply 349Last Tuesday at 10:22 AM

Can I just talk about the invisibility thing mentioned by a few people in here? It's so real... like science fiction actually is occurring. I rarely go to gay bars anymore, but I went this weekend because I had some friends around who I usually don't see. I am 40, which isn't that old- right? Especially considering this thread is largely 50+ from what I see here. But, here's how the night went. Most of the night, we were in Barracuda in NYC - and I literally couldn't make eye contact with anyone. I just wasn't visible in there. And it gets worse. I was sitting with my friends towards the back, and when I tried to get to the bar to get a drink - nobody would budge 1 inch to let me through. I tried 5 different angles (and 2 occasions) - and there was no chance. I'm 6' tall and thin - so it wasn't that complicated to move. They literally wouldn't even look at me... and the bar has plenty of 30+. I don't know wtf was happening.

So, my younger, much better looking friend then tried to get to the bar, and he cut through the crowd like a hot knife through butter in seconds. I followed him, since he cleared the path. Everyone looked at him, acknowledged his presence visually, and moved aside (still barely looking at me, if at all).

I don't know if it is just an age thing. I think it's a looks thing too... it just started happening in the last few years in the rare occasions I go to bars. It's not just the immovable people - it's really the "no eye-contact whatsoever" thing that freaks me out at first. The complete wall of immovable people felt like sci fi... like I wasn't even there.

I'm probably overreacting, but the whole weekend of socializing with them just made me feel old as fuck. We were friends since our late 20s & this night was certainly not the "old days." If I was walking to the bar through a crowd back then, I'd be saying hi & people would be turning and saying hi. When I said "excuse me" they'd actually hear it...this is just a tiny thing but it was a fucked up night that reminded me I am just done basically.

by Anonymousreply 350Last Tuesday at 11:26 AM

R350 - I feel your pain! I too am in my 40s and occasionally like to be social at a gay bar. I simply changed where I go (to a piano bar) and now get plenty of attention. I know it’s silly and meaningless but I still get a kick out of it!

by Anonymousreply 351Last Tuesday at 11:34 AM

Thanks R351 - it happened in Side Track too, in Chicago - which was even more bizarre. They have a giant mirror by the coat check & I literally had to look at myself to make sure I was actually there. I don't know why I am so sensitive to this, but I guess I am. My favorite bar is the George in Dublin (in terms of friendly guys - and everyone will chat with you) but the last time I was there - it was similar too. But that bar changed a lot since the really fun days before apps & people staring at their phones. There are a lot of factors going on.

I've been to a few piano bars and people are certainly more willing to talk and they actually do see me. I guess I just graduated to the next level at this point . I've stayed out of the 20-something places since I was 25 practically (that's old for those bars). But now I'm too old for the lounge type places? wtf? Anyway, I'll shut up about it. People have had it worse. I haven't had cancer or friends die (well, one did from an overdose around 42)... so it could be a lot worse. I prefer to be alone & in quieter places anyway. Maybe part of it is me too.

by Anonymousreply 352Last Tuesday at 11:39 AM

R350 The same reason I stopped going to clubs. Bars are better. But I have hired escort few times and been happy with it. No long nights in a place nobody will even look at me. When I have been with an escort going out to have a beer is easier. I have no need to find anyone and I am relaxed. I usually choose bars. Gay clubs are the worst. Those who are young today will find out it later and then it is their time to complain.

by Anonymousreply 353Last Tuesday at 1:04 PM

Recently went on a cruise with a large group of gay guys. There was a large contingent of guys who I guessed were in their early-to-mid fifties. Still fit and good-looking, and full of life. The fun ones.

I learned later that most were in their early-to-mid sixties. Given that information, they looked GREAT!

by Anonymousreply 354Last Tuesday at 1:11 PM

R353 - they will just go to a bar with you? Do they charge the same $200-300 / hr to go out to the bar? Do you end up having sex with them or is it just for a hot date situation in the bars?

by Anonymousreply 355Last Tuesday at 1:27 PM

R336- R347. Nope,never been fisted,but I truly couldnt tell you how many times I was fucked.

by Anonymousreply 356Last Tuesday at 1:48 PM

R355 I hire an escort for sex and then going out by myself is easier because there is no pressure to find anyone. I surely won’t spend money to hire a guy for a drink in a bar.

by Anonymousreply 357Last Tuesday at 1:53 PM

Oh - yea that makes sense. there are escorts that offer the "date experience" - so i wasn't sure if you were referring to that. Other ones probably can't handle having conversation.

by Anonymousreply 358Last Tuesday at 2:56 PM

My allergies have gotten worse, along with my allergic asthma. What was once an occasional issue is much more often, it's hard to breath. My body creates massive amounts of mucus. It's a problem. Thank a God I quit smoking years ago, I think 20 additional years of smoking and I'd be on oxygen.

by Anonymousreply 359Last Tuesday at 3:06 PM

OP? Every gay is an "aging gay." No one is not aging. Everyone is always aging. Time does not stand still for anyone.

by Anonymousreply 360Last Tuesday at 3:09 PM

Noise. I'm more conscious of loud music and people who have loud mouths.

by Anonymousreply 361Last Tuesday at 3:12 PM

I was in Zabar's in NYC earlier today and I could see someones eyes following me for 1 or 2 seconds. I'll take it. I'm NO SPRING CHICKEN at 53. The guy who was staring at me was probably about 66 years old. But I'll take anyone noticing me nowadays.

by Anonymousreply 362Last Tuesday at 3:14 PM

r359 i feel you on that. i smoked too much weed in my 20s and 30s and i’m paying for it now.

by Anonymousreply 363Last Tuesday at 4:20 PM

I’ve experienced the invisibility thing but not just in bars. I’ve always wanted to see how invisible by trying to open the register or take money out of the tip jar. I bet I would get noticed then.

Maybe not though. I’m sure no one would be able to describe me to the cops. Ha Ha!

by Anonymousreply 364Last Tuesday at 4:28 PM

How old are you?

by Anonymousreply 365Last Tuesday at 4:33 PM

R352, I must be doing something right because when I, at 61, no less, was at Sidetrack last fall I got plenty of attention, including that of one guy who, with his friend, was cruising me and, looking me up and down, eventually gushed, "You are cuuuute."

by Anonymousreply 366Last Tuesday at 4:50 PM

^ I might not be being cute.

by Anonymousreply 367Last Tuesday at 4:55 PM

To paraphrase WC Fields "Cute young guys are like elephants to me. I like to look at 'em but I wouldn't want to own one."

by Anonymousreply 368Last Tuesday at 7:16 PM

R349, Double penetrated?

by Anonymousreply 369Last Tuesday at 8:49 PM

Yes r369 one time.

by Anonymousreply 370Last Wednesday at 12:33 AM

[quote]No one is not aging. Everyone is always aging. Time does not stand still for anyone.

Bullshit.

by Anonymousreply 371Last Wednesday at 3:58 AM

I just turned 50 and I get cruised more now than at 25 or 30. I am not saying I look anywhere near those ages, but I think if you reach a certain age and still have most of your hair, most of it is not grey, you have less than 2 chins, minimal sun/smoke damage and your body has not gone to complete shit, you're okay. Of course you need to be somewhat good looking to start, but at 30 I was just one of the pack. At 50 I stand out more in my age group.

by Anonymousreply 372Last Wednesday at 9:31 AM

One word - colonoscopy.

by Anonymousreply 373Last Wednesday at 10:32 AM

^^^ if they would only give you a happy ending with that, it could be a more memorable experience.

by Anonymousreply 374Last Wednesday at 11:09 AM

You're asleep through the colonoscopy, r374, so all you'd feel is your sticky hospital gown when you're done.

by Anonymousreply 375Last Wednesday at 11:15 AM

R374 and r375 are why I come to Datalounge day after day!

by Anonymousreply 376Last Wednesday at 11:17 AM

After my last colonoscopy, the happy ending was getting told I don't have to come back for 10 years. Odds are, I'll have died by then.

by Anonymousreply 377Last Wednesday at 5:50 PM

Almost all of your teachers from school are now dead.

by Anonymousreply 378Last Wednesday at 8:39 PM

All the people in your life and everyone you knew when you were young are one-by-one replaced during your lifetime by a whole different set of people by the time you’re very old. Two groups of people. Mostly older than you when you’re a kid. And a second group, mostly younger than you by the time you die. Including other, high-profile people like celebrities and TV people. These people are also switched out during your lifetime.

by Anonymousreply 379Last Wednesday at 9:19 PM

Looking at all the stressed workers going off and coming home. They'll never know what it was like to have your own office, where you could shut the fucking door. They'll never know what it was like never to have diabolical HR instead a Personal Officer everyone used to ignore and mock. They'll never know what it was like to work in an environment where you could say anything you liked without second guessing it. We had the last and best of it.

by Anonymousreply 380Last Wednesday at 9:36 PM

R380 Your last sentence is very accurate. The Electronics Age was blooming and jobs and new careers advanced our prosperity. There was a TV and fridge in every home. More and more driveways had two cars in them. Education was affordable, just like houses. We grew up with fewer fears after World War II and the Korean War. We had more than anyone had before us. And without the massive credit card debts! We trusted and believed in others, moreso than today. My first pass to Disneyland (1957) cost $5.75. We were a bright generation, eager to impress the world.

by Anonymousreply 381Last Thursday at 6:23 PM

R379 I think about that from time to time. A celeb or distant family member (there aren't many left) will die, and it'll feel like another little bit of me is gone from the world. It's a weird feeling sometimes.

by Anonymousreply 382Last Thursday at 6:26 PM

People only bought what they could afford, or pay off in installments within a reasonable amount of time. They didn't go into massive debt because they just HAD to have a shit-ton of material things they didn't really need in the first place.

by Anonymousreply 383Last Thursday at 6:33 PM

Our parents, teachers and even some of our peers instilled a lot of positive ideas in us as well as a laundry list of expectations. Looking back we appeared to be wholesome and innocent, even if we didn't stay that way. But we were groomed to be good citizens and men of good character. To this day, I tell people that the two most important things I have is my word and my integrity, and I expect to take them to the grave with me intact.

by Anonymousreply 384Last Thursday at 6:49 PM

less patience with stupid/slow/inconsiderate people - which seem to make up 99% of the population

by Anonymousreply 385Last Thursday at 6:53 PM

skin texture changes.

by Anonymousreply 386Last Thursday at 7:02 PM

Turkey necks

by Anonymousreply 387Last Thursday at 7:15 PM

[quote]Looking at all the stressed workers going off and coming home . . . We had the last and best of it.

Great post, R380! A couple of years ago, my next-door neighbour and I (both retired now) were discussing how lucky we were to have worked - and stopped working - when we did. We both felt as if we'd spent the final years going faster and faster to outrun the nastiness nipping at our heels. I can't imagine having to adjust to a new workplace where you might not even have a desk to call your own.

So, in that respect, I guess it's good to be old. What's a little joint pain compared to having every last atom of dignity squeezed out of you?

by Anonymousreply 388Last Thursday at 7:24 PM

Workplaces are horrible now. Just horrible.

by Anonymousreply 389Last Thursday at 7:44 PM

R382 Agreed.

Simply put, the death of the relative closest to you is a dismal reminder that we are not too far behind.

by Anonymousreply 390Last Thursday at 7:49 PM

Going to the grocery store. Too many choices. I have my list all planned. Then I walk into the store and feel like a deer in the headlights. Years ago, there would have only been a few choices for each item. Not today where there are dozens of choices for most items. Today, what would have been a 15 minute trip 20 years ago, took me four hours ~ $350 dollars.

by Anonymousreply 391Last Thursday at 8:18 PM

Are you depressed, r391? That's one of the first signs for me. I remember the first time. I needed shampoo and went to the store, but I just couldn't make up my mind, so I went home. I don't know if I didn't take a shower or just used soap.

by Anonymousreply 392Last Thursday at 11:24 PM

There are advantages to being invisible. You can check out hot guys in complete detail without being busted. VPL - you could practically draw it with your eyeballs, and the person showing it wouldn't even notice......although, as you passed, he might say to his friend, "did you just feel a little gust of wind?" Staring at a guy's ass as he's walking in front of you? No problem. People in your vicinity just assume you have cataracts.

I was in NYC last November. Getting ready to change floors as I was transferring to another subway, I was given a heavy-duty cruise - such as I haven't experienced in a decade. I was so surprised and stunned, I almost dropped a package I was carrying.

The most scary part is walking downtown and seeing your father (who's been dead for 10 years) time and time again......spooky........even more spooky when you realize you've been seeing your own reflection in show doors and mirrors.

by Anonymousreply 393Last Friday at 12:36 AM

Your parents, aunts & uncles start passing away, it makes you feel old and makes you confront your own morality and the knowledge you time here is getting shorter.

by Anonymousreply 394Last Friday at 2:55 AM

I'm 56 and have rheumatoid arthritis and cataracts. Am i totally fucked already. I have little pain now and the cataracts can be fixed. But I fear that I'll be living in a world of pain. Should I get a gun for later on already?

by Anonymousreply 395Last Friday at 3:28 AM

r395, smoke copious amounts of pot, silly!

by Anonymousreply 396Last Friday at 4:49 AM

Looking at this video, and realizing that it's from forty years ago, and that the young adults interviewed are now senior citizens. To me, this just doesn't seem to be that long ago, but it truly is.

by Anonymousreply 397Last Friday at 5:08 AM

Cute, youthful chipmunk cheeks have turned into jowls.

by Anonymousreply 398Last Friday at 5:12 AM

I'm way over 60 but I don't think of myself as old. Came from a huge family, all the aunts and uncles and several from my own generation have died. Gone. Finis! But I do feel fear, just sad that I've lost a part of my family history. I am active. Very active. I am on several non profit boards, I am always taking a class here and there to learn something. The key is to feed your mind! And to keep learning and growing and never lose your curiosity. Then you will never grow old. You have health issues? Me too. Heart, lungs, old bones, etc. But I walk 3 miles every damned day and I take my meds, and I eat healthy. I mean, ETF else can you do, right? I intend to squeeze every single bit of enjoyment I can out of my life. Tomorrow is promised to no one. I may not be able to do everything I want, but I'm going to try to do everything I can. Enjoy your life! Some people are already dead and don't know it. They have allowed their minds to atrophy.

by Anonymousreply 399Last Friday at 5:58 AM

I posted a photograph online that I'd taken in New York in 1979 as a teenager - I wanted to see if anyone knew the location.

The amount of messages I got! People saying they weren't born yet, but how fascinating! - how it captured a long gone era etc...

I posted a few more and they were featured on websites!

In my mind New York still looks like this.

by Anonymousreply 400Last Friday at 6:09 AM

R400, hmmm, here's my guess: 1st avenue in the 70s?

by Anonymousreply 401Last Friday at 6:16 AM

Or 2nd Avenue looking downtown?

by Anonymousreply 402Last Friday at 6:20 AM

R391 has a point. There are literally about five flavors of VANILLA ice cream, including homemade, country, vanilla bean, extra-creamy, natural. It's insane. Chips, too – the choices used to be potato chips, corn chips, pretzels or Cheetos, take your pick. Now it's an entire aisle. Exhausting.

by Anonymousreply 403Last Friday at 6:24 AM

[quote]Or 2nd Avenue looking downtown?

Yes. That.

@ 58th St.

by Anonymousreply 404Last Friday at 6:29 AM

Oh, my, r404. That's the second random NY street photo I've IDed today. The first was in James Cusati Moyer's IG stories (I'll let you guess where it is rather than telling you).

by Anonymousreply 405Last Friday at 6:32 AM

That's MUCH harder, R405.

Or do you mean the second pic?

I'd say Park Avenue in the 70s..pic # 2

First one probably the West Village.

by Anonymousreply 406Last Friday at 6:39 AM

It's the second pic, r406, to which I refer. And no, it's not Park Avenue. It is in the Village, though.

by Anonymousreply 407Last Friday at 6:41 AM

I'll have another look.

Fifth Ave - somewhere around 10th St?

Where's this? (another of mine from '79)

by Anonymousreply 408Last Friday at 6:43 AM

R408 Fifth Avenue at 11th. 43 Fifth is on the left, 41 Fifth is on the right.

Is the new pic @ r408 Third Avenue? First?

by Anonymousreply 409Last Friday at 6:46 AM

[quote][R408] Fifth Avenue at 11th. 43 Fifth is on the left, 41 Fifth is on the right.

I was pretty close. I think I deserve some sort of recognition.

[quote]Is the new pic @ [R408] Third Avenue? First?

Neither of those.

by Anonymousreply 410Last Friday at 6:49 AM

Also taking into account I haven't even been to NY in almost 20 years.

by Anonymousreply 411Last Friday at 6:50 AM

I haven't lived there in 40.

Is the new pic 6th Avenue below Central Park South?

by Anonymousreply 412Last Friday at 6:53 AM

[quote]I haven't lived there in 40.

Are you the Unmarried Woman Troll?

by Anonymousreply 413Last Friday at 6:57 AM

[quote]Is the new pic 6th Avenue below Central Park South?

No, WAY OFF!

by Anonymousreply 414Last Friday at 6:58 AM

I still use my AOL email account. When anyone I’ve only communicated with through email meets me, they all say they thought I was ancient.

by Anonymousreply 415Last Friday at 7:00 AM

I am, r413.

by Anonymousreply 416Last Friday at 7:02 AM

R414, is the background downtown or uptown?

Also, that is an avenue, isn't it? Or is it a street?

by Anonymousreply 417Last Friday at 7:04 AM

[quote]I am, [R413].—Dah-dah-dah-daddah-DAHHHHHH.

I'm quite good at picking you out from the crowd (odd, I keep asking for recognition)

Hope you're well.

by Anonymousreply 418Last Friday at 7:06 AM

And I hope you are well, r418.

I'm taking a painting class this year, and I'm making like Jenkins.

by Anonymousreply 419Last Friday at 7:08 AM

[quote][R414], is the background downtown or uptown? Also, that is an avenue, isn't it? Or is it a street?

CLUE >

by Anonymousreply 420Last Friday at 7:09 AM

[quote]I'm taking a painting class this year, and I'm making like Jenkins.

That's good.

What's that mean exactly?

by Anonymousreply 421Last Friday at 7:10 AM

r420 Amsterdam in the __s?

by Anonymousreply 422Last Friday at 7:14 AM

[quote]makes you confront your own morality

At least you’re honest.

by Anonymousreply 423Last Friday at 7:17 AM

[quote][R420] Amsterdam in the __s?

You're/were a downtown gurl - so of course this one's going to be tough.

But - you SHOULD know...(clue #1)

Here's another clue:

E.B.

by Anonymousreply 424Last Friday at 7:22 AM

I'm going to guess E.B. is Erica Benton, which would make this another shot of Second Avenue, as her building took up the entire block between Second and Third, and you said it wasn't Third. So it has to be second.

If this is not it, we can talk about clue #1 again.

by Anonymousreply 425Last Friday at 7:42 AM

In March 1979 my friend and I took Conrail in from the suburbs and spent the entire day in Manhattan on our own. We were only 13 years old. We had a good time though we didn't stray too far form Grand Central.

by Anonymousreply 426Last Friday at 7:46 AM

It's taken in front of her building, looking north

This is synchronicity - when I picked it out I had no idea who you were.

by Anonymousreply 427Last Friday at 7:46 AM

[quote]In March 1979 my friend and I took Conrail in from the suburbs and spent the entire day in Manhattan on our own. We were only 13 years old. We had a good time though we didn't stray too far form Grand Central.

Must have been fun, on your own.

by Anonymousreply 428Last Friday at 7:47 AM

Oh, good, r427. Thank you for the geographic adventure.

My rent was $432/mo. then.

by Anonymousreply 429Last Friday at 7:48 AM

[quote]My rent was $432/mo. then.

Where was this and for what sort of apartment?

by Anonymousreply 430Last Friday at 7:51 AM

[quote]In March 1979 my friend and I took Conrail in from the suburbs and spent the entire day in Manhattan on our own. We were only 13 years old

Did the grown-ups know?

by Anonymousreply 431Last Friday at 7:53 AM

r430 E. 10th between University and Broadway. A 1-BR in a renovated factory building. Not lofts, though. Apartments. It was nice.

by Anonymousreply 432Last Friday at 7:55 AM

Oh yes. My mother loved the city. She approved of us going in and spending the day there. She even came up with some suggestions. We went to the GM building where they had all of the new GM cars on display(the Apple Showroom is there now). We went to the Museum of Broadcasting and watched the February 1964 performance of The Beatles On the Ed Sullivan Show. We ate lunch at a place called The Hamburger Train. You had to walk down some steps to get to it. Even in 1979 the area around Grand Central was safe.

by Anonymousreply 433Last Friday at 10:14 AM

I'm r426 NOT r431 for the above post.

by Anonymousreply 434Last Friday at 10:15 AM

I'd never heard of The Hamburger Train - so I googled it.

There's a whole website dedicated to its memory.

by Anonymousreply 435Last Friday at 11:50 AM

The Hamburger Train in NYC - where R433 went in 1979

Clearly the invention of a model train fanatic.

by Anonymousreply 436Last Friday at 11:51 AM

[quote] We went to the GM building where they had all of the new GM cars on display(the Apple Showroom is there now). We went to Museum of Broadcasting and watched the February 1964 performance of The Beatles On the Ed Sullivan Show.

Those are exactly the kind of things I did when I was a visiting teen in NYC. I loved Museum of Broadcasting and was always going in there. But I'd go on to Hamburger Heaven afterwards.

Also, in the plaza beneath the GM building they had a place called the Autopub - you sat and had lunch in old cars.

by Anonymousreply 437Last Friday at 11:57 AM

As long as Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger are still alive, I feel young.

by Anonymousreply 438Last Friday at 1:16 PM

[quote]We went to the GM building where they had all of the new GM cars on display(the Apple Showroom is there now). We went to Museum of Broadcasting and watched the February 1964 performance of The Beatles On the Ed Sullivan Show.

The GM building was also called the General Odors Building because Revlon and Estee Lauder had their headquarters there. I worked for both companies. I worked on the 48th floor for Revlon, a few years later I worked for Estee Lauder on the 36th floor with an amazing view of all of Central Park and north past the George Washington bridge, on a clear day you could see Bear Mountain.

by Anonymousreply 439Last Friday at 1:25 PM

R439: years ago (1980s) I interviewed at Estee Lauder in the GM building for Estee's in house advertising department. I did not get the job - so what was the company like to work for? Did I dodge a bullet?

Was FAO Schwartz in the ground floor at the time?

On topic: my feet hurt.

by Anonymousreply 440Last Friday at 1:47 PM

R440 You did dodge a bullet I worked in Creative for Estee Lauder Cosmetics for a few years then moved to Aramis where I created packaging for La Mere, Aramis and Tommy Hifiger. It was like working in a shark tank I don't know how I survived. La Mere was garbage I know people on this board love it. After Lauder bought the brand they took out most of the exotic and expensive ingredients that created its reputation and replaced them with lesser ingredients, it's probably worse today.

by Anonymousreply 441Last Friday at 2:07 PM

[quote]Was FAO Schwartz in the ground floor at the time?

No, it was across the street.

by Anonymousreply 442Last Friday at 2:09 PM

It appears this thread has been hijacked.

by Anonymousreply 443Last Friday at 3:37 PM

I used to wake up in the morning with tons of energy now I need 2 large mugs of coffee to get me going in the morning.

by Anonymousreply 444Last Friday at 3:43 PM

My father told me about the cafe in the lower level of the GM building where they had cars on the ceiling or on the floor etc. That was what drew me to the GM building but we didn't eat there because I'd already eaten a nice lunch at The Hamburger Train-Which reminded me of that skit on Saturday Night Fever-Cheeseburger,Cheeseburger,Pepsi, NO COKE.

by Anonymousreply 445Last Friday at 7:25 PM

R445 Revlon had their company store in the basement you could get in if a Revlon employee gave you a pass. There were always long lines in front of the entrance.

by Anonymousreply 446Yesterday at 2:59 AM

This thread has fallen victim to aging; two old queens bantering back and forth like old people do in public posts on Facebook

by Anonymousreply 447Yesterday at 4:35 AM

WHAT’S THAT OP? SPEAK UP SONNY! WE CAN’T HEAR YOU YOUNG ‘UN!

by Anonymousreply 448Yesterday at 4:40 AM

[quote]Which reminded me of that skit on Saturday Night Fever-Cheeseburger,Cheeseburge - r,Pepsi, NO COKE.

Don't remember that at all.

by Anonymousreply 449Yesterday at 4:42 AM

Yes, r447. No one EVER bickered before the 21st century.

by Anonymousreply 450Yesterday at 4:42 AM

R447 hissing about "aging" and "old" on a thread that's about aging.

by Anonymousreply 451Yesterday at 4:44 AM

The Saturday Night Fever skit is from ca. 1979-John Belushi plays a waitercook at a Greek Diner. All they serve is Pepsi and Cheeseburgers NEVER COKE. Lorraine Newman plays the waitress.

by Anonymousreply 452Yesterday at 4:46 AM

I had a friend who would work SNL skits into every conversation he ever had. "No Coke, Pepsi" and "it's a dessert topping and a floor wax" were his two favorites.

Hi, Kevin.

by Anonymousreply 453Yesterday at 4:49 AM

My Hell's Kitchen apartment, rented in 1980, was $225 a month. It was a four room railroad flat. With two roommates, we each had the lowest rent in town. Not a lot of privacy, but tremendous financial freedom and that is what we all needed at 23 years of age.

I can't imagine what 47th Street between Ninth and Tenth Avenues would cost today. A lot more than $225, I'd wager.

by Anonymousreply 454Yesterday at 4:52 AM

R454 wasn’t hell’s kitchen very dangerous back then? And very Latin?

by Anonymousreply 455Yesterday at 4:53 AM

r454 A four-room railroad apartment in that location would rent for about $3000 per month today.

by Anonymousreply 456Yesterday at 4:54 AM

And railroad apartments were horrible - no windows in the middle rooms. Always hated them.

by Anonymousreply 457Yesterday at 4:55 AM

In 1980, Hell's Kitchen, west of Eighth Avenue, was still pretty much West Side Story. But I was never bothered on the street. Ninth Avenue was kept stable by an array of food businesses. And oh those beautiful sons at Poseidon Bakery!

Hell's Kitchenwas just starting to improve with young actors moving in for the low rent. Bit by bit, it got better, though friends would always admonish me to be careful going home. On or about the day in 1986 that the Javits Center opened, Hell's Kitchen was flooded with drug dealers and prostitutes. Literally, one morning the street was strewn with glassine envelopes and hookers and they did not leave for a long time. The cops taking protection money relocated them from that glorious jewel of commerce, sending them to Hell's Kitchen. It took a while for that to shake out.

by Anonymousreply 458Yesterday at 5:13 AM

How old are you, R457? Air shafts have been mandatory in NYC since the 1880's.

In my Hell's Kitchen tenement, we were very au courant. We had windows and an air shaft!

by Anonymousreply 459Yesterday at 5:19 AM

My first apt in NYC was in Washington Hts it.was a 1 br. on 112th & Broadway. It was $225 a month across the street was Toms Diner. The front of Toms Diner was used in Seinfeld.

by Anonymousreply 460Yesterday at 6:02 AM

That's Morningside Heights, r460.

by Anonymousreply 461Yesterday at 6:04 AM

That's correct R461 it's been a while since I've been there, my bad.

by Anonymousreply 462Yesterday at 6:06 AM

my pubes are course and wirey now. not nice and soft.

by Anonymousreply 463Yesterday at 6:23 AM

Do any of you take Metformin for its longevity/anti-aging properties? David Sinclair is on it.

by Anonymousreply 464Yesterday at 6:26 AM

metformin is for diabetes.

by Anonymousreply 465Yesterday at 6:28 AM

Yes, in context, r465. But do some new research on its other benefits.

by Anonymousreply 466Yesterday at 6:40 AM

Young people start to look even younger.

by Anonymousreply 467Yesterday at 6:47 AM

R458 Poseidon still has beautiful sons working there!

by Anonymousreply 468Yesterday at 6:54 AM

Celebrities who were SO YOUNG like Leonardo DeCaprio who are now OLDER than you think you still are.

by Anonymousreply 469Yesterday at 7:44 AM

Seeing kids who were severely mentally handicapped was very common. Not as common a sight anymore because of pre-natal testing. The pregnancies are terminated.

The numbers of Down Syndrome births and other births of babies with mental disabilities have declined so much that many group homes have closed.

by Anonymousreply 470Yesterday at 8:18 AM

R469 Since Titanic was released twenty-two years ago, it's not surprising that Leonardo DiCaprio is in his mid-forties.

by Anonymousreply 471Yesterday at 8:40 AM

It’s a relief to have a lower sex drive and realize there is so much more to appreciate and do in life. It’s so much more peaceful and need-free. I’ve had plenty of sex - and probably spent too much time and took too many risks because of it - so don’t feel at all sentimental about a waning sex drive.

Really the main negative is having death (re)appear regularly. After the AIDS crisis, had a nice 15-20 years where I learned to stop worrying/obsessing about death. Now it’s cancer and heart attacks - and the people dying are 50+ so it’s not as heart wrenching. But I realize this will be the way things go for the remainder - losing people one by one and waiting to see what hits me.

Feel like I’ve had a full life - and lived MUCH longer than I ever expected. So I’m grateful and ready. Still have a lot I want to do, but look at whatever is left as gravy.

by Anonymousreply 472Yesterday at 8:58 AM

r472-How old are you?

by Anonymousreply 473Yesterday at 9:02 AM

How can one prevent those hard yellow old man toenails that look like an exoskeleton?

by Anonymousreply 474Yesterday at 10:23 AM

I’m 55

by Anonymousreply 475Yesterday at 11:29 AM

R474 — Use a hammer.

by Anonymousreply 476a day ago

Seems like every celebrity has an autist kid.

by Anonymousreply 47720 hours ago

R474. Soak your feet. And go see a podiatrist regularly. It’s treatable.

by Anonymousreply 47818 hours ago

R280 [quote] Family holidays are not the same. My parents and aunts and uncles are dead. The two that are left are too decrepit for get together. My siblings have their own families and grand kids and no longer invite me to holidays except for Christmas Day. After the elders died I began to feel like a satellite circling at a distance to my siblings' families. It was a hard transition and to cope I emotionally distanced myself from them. For a long times I've been closer to friends than to family, but now they're moving away and dying off.

This was moving. And someone else upthread mentioned losing older relatives one by one. Feeling the loss of family foundations. Maybe parents have it easier, when they lose their older relatives, because they can attach to the younger generation coming up. But there's never a guarantee the younger generation will attach itself to you, either.

Love this thread.

by Anonymousreply 47918 hours ago

PS to r280

Go see the decrepit relatives anyway. You May be surprised how much you can learn from them. R479

by Anonymousreply 48018 hours ago

Agreed r480. I moved back to my hometown. I've discovered and rediscovered relatives. In every case it's a new relationship.

by Anonymousreply 48113 hours ago

Will someone please turn up the volume?

by Anonymousreply 48210 hours ago
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