Embarrassing restaurant moments

Why wouldn’t you have said fuck you and walked out then?

I would have asked him to produce in writing the restaurant’s policy for cell phone usage among patrons. Then I would have asked him to point out in that policy where it says specifically that you cannot use your phone.

I would then wait for him to get off work and beat the shit out of him.

My first trip in Europe, did not know that they wait until you completely finish your drink before they give you the check...

OP has no backbone. Walk out.

Cobia: black kingfish, black salmon, ling, lemonfish, crabeater, prodigal son and black bonito.

I've never heard of any of these as food.

In Italian, type "I'm using this phone to translate Italian into English ONLY. Capisce?" Then let him read what you typed.

Did you have the speaker on? If not, that seems insane.

Did you order cobia?

I am a spineless Australian and I should have walked out but it honestly didn’t occur to me, I sat there and suffered and only tipped the sommelier.

This actually occurred in 2008 but I had a flashback yesterday when I again encountered cobia on a menu.

Write a Yelp review.

R7, I didn’t order cobia. I had langoustine risotto followed by lamb with black olives and melon gelato. This I recall, LOL.

R9 I just checked TripAdvisor and happily the hotel has been rebranded!

WALKED OUT OF THE MEN"S HEAD WITH TRAIL OF TOILET PAPER STUCK IN MY TROSERS.A NICE YOUNG GENTLEMAN WALKED ME BACK AND HELPED GATHER IT ALL BACK.I THIBNK WE HAD CHEMISTRY AND THAT EASED MY EMBARRASMENT AS IT WAS A CLASSY PLACE. WAS CELEBRATING MOM"S 90TH. BLESS,BILL

I saw a homeless person in my restaurant experience at McDonald's. I felt embarrassed for the entire establishment. What is McDonald's coming to? One of the last bastions of WASPYness.

R11 WHY are you shouting? You most definitely are an Eldergay.

R13 is obviously a newbie.

Was he speaking French to the counterman, Little Glory at R12?

R14 I am, please educate me Eldergay

OP, you should've followed this frau's example, and explained your point of view quite sternly.

I’m a gastric bypass patient. I over ate once at an upscale restaurant and wound up puking on the table.

Why didn't the waiter explain what cobia is?

How lovely for the restaurant to have you barfing

Oh my R18 I feel bad for you!

Was there cheesecake?

R13, DLER BILL TAYLOR WRITES ALL HIS POSTS IN ALL CAPS. THAT’S JUST BILL FOR YOU.

Meanwhile I'm STILL waiting for my creme brûlée!

I ate too much.

R23 I love this wonderful community I have found. Filled with such interesting characters.

I was on a date when the other guy (who likely had taken pills prior to drinking at the restaurant) started slurring his words and shouting about how much he hated George Bush (it was a while ago - still a vivid memory). The seat I was in was impossible to get out of unless he moved because the place was so crowded.

I tried to get the check ASAP and get the hell out of there. Then, as we're walking out through the very crowded lobby, he continues yelling "I just don't think we have chemistry - you're a really nice guy - really nice - I just don't see it working - It's not you - it's just I don't think it'll work..." and I basically ran into the first cab I saw at lightning speed.

Buck wouldn't eat in restaurants.

R27 you sure you weren't on a date with Hillary?

Probably the time I ordered steak tartare as a teen and facing a place of raw mince meat adorned with chopped egg yolks. My pride prevented me from letting on to my family I had no idea what the fuck I ordered.

Where was this restaurant, OP? I want to eat there.

Praying for any moment..

The responses to OP is why I love Americans. You are so ballsy with your demands and threats to leave, I love it.

Handing the waiter 4 expired credit cards.

Somebody asked that waiter to speak to you. He would not have done this on his own.

I think there's more to this story.

OP, embarrassing for the waiter for not knowing something on the menu.

Ordering steak tartate and being presented with a plate of raw mince, chopped onions and an egg yolk.

It wasn't until cellphones had been popular for 5 years that my mother finally agreed to get one. In a restaurant, her phone rang. And rang. "What's that?" she yelled, looking around.

"It's your phone. ANSWER IT."

Everybody in the restaurant is now looking to see who this annoying person is who won't answer their phone.,

"OH!"

She gets all frazzled trying to get her purse off the back of her chair and knocks a glass of water onto the floor, where it splashes onto the legs of the people's at the next table. Now everyone is staring daggers at her.

She pulls out the phone, but before she answers it, "Where are my glasses? I have to put them on."

The hostess approaches our table.

"ANSWER THE DAMNED PHONE NOW" I hissed.

She answers the phone ad YELLS into it at the top of her lungs "HELLO! HELLO! WHO IS THIS? CAN I CALL YOU BACK? I'M IN A RESTAURANT! ....,,WHAT? .....WHO?"

I grabbed the phone out of her hand and said "She'll call you back" and wouldn't give it back to her until we were in tbe car.

[quote] Ordering steak tartate and being presented with a plate of raw mince, chopped onions and an egg yolk.

My mother went out years ago to a club with some people she was only slightly acquainted with. One of the women ordered halibut steak. When the waitress put the plate down she said, "No, no. This isn't mine. This is a fish. Take it back!"

I walked into a fancy bistro and ordered a cocktail from a man whom I thought was the bartender. He was the DJ. Everyone was staring at me.

Another time at a different restaurant, the waiter kept asking me how I wanted my clam chowder cooked. Huh? “Rare? Medium Rare?....” I was so confused. Finally, the clusrerfuck got so weird that my friend blurted out, “He’ll have it medium!!” I was mortified and confused until the waiter brought me a plate of lamb.

I once ate my sons who were baked in my pie.

I would side with the waiter on this. I don't want to be around a bunch of fucking karen's yapping away on their iphones, when I go out to eat.

r27, what a nightmare. I would have beat the shit out of his drunken ass for embarrassing me like that.

[Quote] The responses to OP is why I love Americans. You are so ballsy with your demands and threats to leave, I love it.

Amazing, isn't it? In Europe they laugh at you when you demand to see a manager or complain about something.

My friend was ultra pissed when a waitress "ignored" him for maybe 5mins at an expensive restaurant in SF. I didn't even realized bc it was so busy that evening. She actually told her manager and he came and apologized. The next day the owner called and apologized again and sent a $100 gift card. Try this in Europe....

My most embarrassing restaurant moment was in the early 00s. My brother was showing me some vacation photos on his laptop when the waitress suddenly appeared and accused us of stealing electricity and not asking for permission first. My brother - very embarrassed - claimed he did ask someone and the bitch actually asked ever staff member if he really did (he did not). So we stole electricity for maybe 1 cent or less and she did not get a tip. A different time.

I’m with R35 — someone, probably another diner, asked the waiter to say something to OP.

That’s still not as bad as something that happened to my partner. He was having dinner with a friend who suddenly, at the table, started vomiting uncontrollably. The restaurant staff brought over a bucket for him to spew into, it was so bad. And the two of them were seated near the front window, so passers-by could see this show. (And, after that, my mortified partner took the friend to the emergency room. It wasn’t the food; it was an extreme acid reflux attack).

I was on a date with my hot, funny new BF. We were at an upscale steakhouse. He reached for the ketchup bottle and started to vigorously shake it--at which point the cap flew off, followed by an explosion of ketchup. It went fucking everywhere--all over me, my date, neighboring diners... It looked like a bloodbath. You'd be amazed at how much ketchup can shoot out of a bottle under the right circumstances.

After the initial shock wore off, my date and I started laughing hysterically. My new beige sweater was ruined, as was his white dress shirt. We offered to pay for the replacement or cleaning of the other victims' damaged clothing, but everyone was very nice about it. The server actually apologized for giving us a bottle of ketchup with a loose cap.

I was having dinner with my family and kept making eye contact with someone at the bar nearby. My prime rib w/ au jus kicked in and I headed for the bathroom (there were a few individual ones). When I walked out, the guy was there, smiling. It quickly faded when he got a waft of my mini colonic. I don't know if he saw me head for the bathroom and was hoping for a quick hook up or was just waiting to use it. Dessert felt like an eternity.

[QUOTE] In Europe they laugh at you when you demand to see a manager or complain about something.

It builds character, you wimp.

[quote] It wasn't until cellphones had been popular for 5 years that my mother finally agreed to get one. In a restaurant, her phone rang.... "It's your phone. ANSWER IT." ... She gets all frazzled trying to get her purse off the back of her chair and knocks a glass of water onto the floor, where it splashes onto the legs of the people's at the next table. Now everyone is staring daggers at her.... "ANSWER THE DAMNED PHONE NOW" I hissed.

Kind of feel bad for Mom here. Sounds like she was reluctant to get a cell phone and was not used to being in public with the phone. I.e., wasn't reflexively turning off the ringer in restaurants, etc.

A guy I went on a date with had just gotten a prince albert a few days prior. He started bleeding shortly after we got seated. We promptly took off out of there - though we didn't dine & dash, the server hadn't even gotten to our table yet.

When I got my first smart phone I was sitting in a restaurant by myself enjoying a burger deluxe when I heard this loud noise. I kept looking around and noticed I was the only one who seemed to wonder what was going on. I finally asked a server if the place was on fire or something. A person at the next table told me it was my phone and to check it. It was a Amber alert. I had no idea my phone or any phone did that. Once I acknowledged the alert it stopped that horrible noise. About a month later at home it did the same noise for a flood warning. I tried to figure out how to make my phone stop getting any kind of alert. I live on the 8th floor of an apartment. The only flood I'm worried about is from the people who live above me. I won't be spotting any lost of kidnapped kids so unless the world is ending I don't want any alerts on my phone. I still have a smart phone and this one too does alerts and I have no idea how to stop it without it alerting me to texts. It seems if I turn off alerts every noise the phone makes turns off too, except for the phone ringing.

I still remember how embarrassed I was when I was told it was my phone and apparently the entire restaurant knew I was too stupid to know that.

How come no one else’s phones made Amber Alerts?

How come no one else’s phones made Amber Alerts?

This happened in 2008? Smart phones were quite new then, that would never happen today. You should have led with that information, OP. I feel betrayed.

I want to eat there. Too bad it's in O'Stralia.

I once neglected to ask my waiter what type of fish escolar was before ordering it. That was merely the beginning of my embarrassment.

I dislike looking at other people's screens anywhere. I'm so glad I'm old and won't have to put up with being social much longer. I'm retired, and no longer go out for lunch, something I used to enjoy when I first retired in the early '00s. One place I used to go, a place where you order, pay, and then sit down, became a cesspool of smartphone activity, mainly because most people sit by themselves. I simply can't stand the noise, in particular, and the visual isn't much better.

Not a restaurant story, but I was on the bus yesterday, and this woman was playing some noisemaking app at her baby. THANK GOD I had brought my earbuds and could listen to my own music, but what the fuck are these people thinking? PUT YOUR OWN FUCKING EARBUDS ON, YOU MISERABLE PIECES OF SHIT.

I have a fantasy of being called for jury duty, and the person on trial will be someone who killed someone else because they wouldn't stop using their speakerphone in public. There is not a way in the world I would vote to convict that killer. I would instead promote him as Citizen of the Year.

About 15 years ago, I was in a fancypants restaurant and ordered a pork chop. When they brought it out I noticed is was bright pink when I cut into it. I grew up in an era where Trichinella -- a parasite you could get from eating undercooked pork -- was a very real threat and any cut of pork had to be cooked all the way through so the meat was white with no pink showing. It was the equivalent of being served undercooked chicken - can you imagine cutting into and eating a bright pink chicken breast?! I sent it back and the chef came out to tell me pork should be served medium, and it loses all of its flavor and tenderness if it's over cooked. I said, well I can't eat it this way, can you please cook it all the way through. He went off in a huff and sent me back a completely charred pork chop. He ruined my meal and the whole experience. I never went back (and the restaurant closed a few years later) and I've never ordered pork out since then.

I was out to dinner with friends and intended to leave a $25 tip for a server -- a $20 bill and a $5 bill. In my semi-drunken haze I threw down the $5 and forgot the $20, so it basically amounted to a 4% tip. The server was so upset she chased after me in front of the entire restaurant. Mortifying.

Oh, eat it pink, r58. It's much better.

I would have jammed a breadstick in that asshole's eye and walked out.

r59 WTF? Tips are still voluntary, no?

Ostensibly, R62. Ironically, up to that point she’d been great, which was why I wanted to leave a good tip in the first place.

Tell him it’s Assistive technology under the American DisabyAct. any further comments, and you’ll file a federal complyagainst him personally with the Department of Justice Office of Civil Rights

I don't get R40. How do you confuse clam chowder and lamb?

I vomited in the toilet because I was wasted. It wasn't a club or dive bar, but a posh restaurant.

[quote]DisabyAct

[quote]complyagainst

The saywhat?

Good. Put your fucking phone away.

When I was a child, server brought our food and left two paper napkins, there were four of us. My father asked if we were suppose to tear them in half and share, when he could have just asked for more napkins, but then he rarely passed up an opportunity to be an asshole.

Sorry, your father was right and the server was an asshole.

r60=lesbian

The worst was when my parents ordered a quiche but pronounced it "quickie."

Most embarrassing moment? Going to the Olive Garden.

I knocked a woman's w ig off once and another time I set a women's hair afire.

Blind date set up by a straight girlfriend. The guy was cute but had atrocious table manners.When he blew his nose in the cloth napkin I stood up without saying a word,threw my share of the bill down on the table and walked out.

Was trying to order penne pasta at some hipster LA restaurant circa 1994.

I pronounced it “pen.”

I had a butt plug disappear all the way up my anus when I was having a delicious luncheon at the Four Seasons!

I turned to my dining companion and said, "ANNA! It happened AGAIN! I need you to go with me into the men's room to pull it out for me!"

"I don't get [R40]. How do you confuse clam chowder and lamb?"

The waiter apparently didn't hear me say "chowder" and misunderstood "clam" as"lamb."

What R1 said.

r74 what's with you and women's hair?

R74. That sounds like something from a John Waters movie.

Once I was having the chef's menu at a very fancy restaurant, so I didn't really know what each course would be. In the middle of it, I noticed a table near us were having a light-hearted small talk with the waiter about the interesting recipe of their course. So, unwisely inspired, when the waiter brought my next course, I just pointed at whatever on the side of the stone plate, spoke with studied casualness: "May I ask what this is?"

He said: "It's cabbage."

Why didn't you ask your waiter to translate? Take up an inordinate amount of time, force him to do his job.

Could have been worse, R30