Most embarrassing walk in?

Ha! Sorry for your pain, OP, but that's freaking hilarious.

When I was a teenager, I was sitting in the middle of my living room jerking off. I wasn't even thinking that our front door had one of those little slits of glass. All of a sudden I hear knocking, and look up to see my creepy neighbor knocking on the door and looking through the glass. He just says very non-chalantly "Hey man, stop for a second, can I use your dad's lawnmower?"

Fucking some guy's brains out on my living room couch. Both of us were naked. My neighbor opened my front door, walked in, saw what was happening, paused for a second, looked at me and said "Do you have any sugar?". I got up, went into my kitchen, poured some sugar into a cup, handed it to my neighbor, said "That enough?" My neighbor said, "Yes, that's fine. Thanx!" and walked out. Never mentioned it. Subsequently, I began locking my front door.

I was digging in my friend's purse once out of boredom. She was in the shower, and I didn't realize she had gotten out. I wasn't going to steal anything, but was being super nosey. I lied and told her I was looking for gum.

Wow, what an asshole thing to do R5.

I haven't read most of the posts on this thread, but one time not long after I left my husband because he married another woman, I was still working at my previous place of employment, though my position was tenuous because the head of HR was not at all compassionate about my lactose intolerance or what I thought was Crohn's disease, but turned out to be undiagnosed diverticulitis. On my way home I stopped at the local bodega to pick up some peanut butter. I came into the house, tossed off my blouse, unsnapped my bra, cracked open the jar of Jiff and rubbed some of it on...ahem...and called for my cat, Hermione...just as I was calling her name, the lights flew on and a bunch of people yelled 'Surprise!!!' Turns out my upstairs neighbour, who is a male nurse and also gay, who has the spare key to my apartment had planned a little surprise get together for me to cheer me up since he knew I was depressed. He invited my step-sister and two of my co-workers and his ex-life partner over and there they were staring and yelling 'Surprise' as I stood there with my top and bra off yelling for my cat with peanut butter on my...ahem...Suffice to say I was mortified and I suspect they had the wrong impression as to what I was trying to do with my cat.

A friend of mine was staying at my house while it was on the market. The agreement was he could stay there for free if he made sure it was "showable" at all times.

One day, he was totally naked and masturbating to "cum pig" porn on my 70" TV. A realtor came by with a married couple. They couldn't get the front door open, so came to the back of the house, only to see my friend, who had not even covered the french doors or windows, much less himself.

I was fucking my pillow with a makeshift condom made of toilet paper and tape (to catch the cum) when my mom walked in. She said sorry and I popped up and shut the door on her.

It was horrific. I was around 15 I think.

Taking an emergency shit in a back alley. All of a sudden headlights and a car. They saw me shitting. I didn’t stop either. I just kept in and they watched. I laughed so hard I almost fell down!

I love r5

I love r7.

R7 is kidding. It's an urban legend rejiggered.

I have walked in on two women taking a shit on toilets at parties.

My friend always tells a story about how he hosted a sex party at his house. The next morning he went to , leaving the sling, sex toys,, lube, used condoms, etc all over the living room. He gets a call from his parents saying they decided to come visit the city and went to his apartment to say hello. The super, who knew them from previous visits, let them in.

Omg, R14, this is why my parents do not have a key to my house.

[quote]I was once bent over, butt naked

When (and WHY) did "buck naked" morph into "butt naked?"

Same goes for "set foot in," which has been replaced by the nonsensical "step foot in."

R16 please remember where you are. We are informal here. This is not submitted as a dissertation, rather as informal dialogue between strangers. You'll be fine, sweetheart! We promise to check all things first before we submit these posts as formal proposals!

One time I was correcting someone on a trashy message board, completely ignoring the point of the thread, and someone with a real life showed up. Imagine my horror!

I was getting pounded in the a&@ by a hot Italian at a Paris New Years party in an upstairs room..the guy who walked in clearly wanted some of my a&# the rest of the party but the boyfriend was typical Italian jealous..very jealous!

in 6th grade my dad walked in on me sucking my best friend’s dick. he was not happy.

R20 - your best friend or your dad?

r21 all three of us, now that you mention it.

Did he cum?

R23 his dad or his friend?

r23 r24 neither

In my early teens, my parents, siblings and I lived across the street from our extended family. The big house across the way belonged to my mother's elderly parents. Their youngest child, my uncle, lived with them while going to college part time and working in one of the stores in the tourist area by the shore. He was in his early twenties, a bit of a surfer bum, and had this beautifully sculpted, yet lithe and hairless body--picture the bodies of professional divers.

Since we lived in a beach community he was usually shirtless, whether he was headed to or coming back from the beach or just working on his car in the driveway. Still seared into my mind are his luscious nipples, the color of caramel and the size of tablespoons, moving in the sun as he sweated over a motor or hosed down the pavement.

When I was fourteen I started sneaking into his room to steal his dirty underwear and inhale it while jacking off. It was a thrilling, furtive game--I would watch from my window for when he'd drive away to work or school, then tell my parents I was going to visit Grandma and Grandpa and walk across the street. I'd push open the crack in his door, my heart racing as I contemplated the mound of dirty clothes piled on his floor. I'd search for the ripest-smelling pair of briefs I could find, stuff them into my pocket and lock myself in the bathroom while suffocating myself with his smell. It was heaven.

One day, my grandparents were gone for the day, visiting friends a few towns over. I decided that I didn't want to pleasure myself in the bathroom--the toilet was small and cold--and recklessly decided to carry out my ritual on the living room sofa. With my uncle's taint draped over my nostrils, I was just about to bust when the lock on the front door jiggled and he walked in. He stared at me in disbelief, demanded to know what I was doing, then, when I only produced stunned silence, picked up a folder from the dining table, slammed the door shut and drove off.

He told my parents. I don't know if he told them I'd been sniffing his underwear, because my stepdad only talked to me about masturbation and respecting other people's homes. Actually, my uncle never spoke of it again, and I never noticed him treating me any differently. Now I wonder what he thought at the time and if we could laugh about it now.

[quote]This is not submitted as a dissertation, rather as informal dialogue between strangers.

That's what the semi-illiterates on here always say.

It was December i992, I was fucking my brother, and who should come in unexpectedly into our living room but our next door-neighbor, Dr. Maya Angelou!

I'll never forget: she was memorizing her big poem for inauguration day, and as she walked in, she was intoning, "A Rock,/ A River,/ A Tree/ Hosts to species long since departed,/ Marked the mastodon,/The dinosaur, who... OH MY GOD!!!"

[quote]in 6th grade my dad walked in on me sucking my best friend’s dick. he was not happy.

Would've been more fun if you'd been sucking HIS best friend's dick.

I love you, R28!

I walked in on my mom and her new boyfriend fucking side-to-side in the living room. I just stood there and watched the action until her new boyfriend saw me and got up and carried me out into the kitchen and cussed me out.

R31 You should have screamed at the top of your lungs: "WHORE!"

R32. She was a whore! Glad she died.

You don’t want to know.

I had just started a job with well known insurance company, and accidentally walked in on a board meeting that was running long. I impulsively yelled out "shit!" and shut the door. I had only been there a few weeks. Our marketing department had a meeting scheduled in that room directly afterwards. Apparently everyone else in our department knew not to go there just yet, except me. Thankfully my bosses and the CEO got a chuckle out of it.

What did you see, r35?

One day I was masturbating by thinking about DataLounge and I thought I heard some scampering above my head, so I looked up and there I saw Bai Ling, watching me from the top of my roof! I immediately ran outside but she clambered over the peak, and then disappeared on the other side.

Now she gathering sticks.

R36, nothing salacious, it's was just embarrassing to barge in on a board meeting.

R35 has led a sheltered life.

Oh. Okay, r38.

When I was 14 I was fervently masturbating in front of the bathroom mirror when a wrestling teammate of my brother barged in right when I was about to cum. He was about 17 and was, at first, a little embarrassed and apologized. After I finished up, he came up to me later that day and said that his own brother barged in on him as he was rubbing one out. He said that he hoped that I was able to finish up and that I looked liked I knew what I was doing.

I was once presenting hole to Father O’Malley when that whore Sister Eileen barged in.

R41 that sounds like the beginning of a very entertaining story.