Gay Marriage

liar

[quote] 60 to 70 % of friends I know who rushed to the altar

So, 2 couples?

Sounds like you're bitter about being single, doll. Any idea why that is?

Doesn't matter, OP. Gays deserve the right to get divorced same as straights.

[quote]Hate me if you want

Okay.

We'll "hate" you not because of your views on gay marriage but because you're one of the dumbest trolls on the Internet.

Dammit, R5, you took it RIGHT out from under me!!

Was going to post the same thing. Well, I’m going to anyway dammit. Lol.

[quote]Hate me if you want

OK.

for us after 18 years together, it was a business decision to marry, although in retrospect it has become so much more than that.

[quote] rural non urban area

as opposed to a rural urban area?

Freaks and flames. Fuck you OP. Go peddle this shit on Brietbart or the 700 Club. Muriel, ban this homophobic troll.

It's been my experience that most gay married couples are NOT rushing out to get a divorce - they're happy together.

Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?

Marriage is about money, so it's not like someone is going to disperse with half their financial livelihood easily.

Sigh.... I’m with OP. MOST, I said MOST not everyone I know has divorced except for a couple of lesbians. However, I do have a lesbian couple that divorced even though they took the turkey baster route.

The couples that I know that divorced were all under 40 and had only been together less than 5 years before marrying. It does seem like the older couples lasted longer because they were more settled. The same thing could be true of the straight couples I know who married late in life.

This just goes to show why if you are going to decide to be a gay, you should be ready to accept that you’re not supposed to marry or have kids. Gay people were meant for muti partner sex, to be florist, hairdressers and decorators. The sooner we as a community except that the better off we’ll be.

And the fat queens in rural areas need to be taken to special camps that can convert them back into real gays.

The majority of all marriages end in divorce. Period.

I have no expectation to ever get Gay married. Personally, I think it’s mostly for either of two cases: for very young people who are intent on building a life together. Particularly those cases where, for example, one dude works a lower-income but steady job, putting the other through med school, or law school. Later in life, he’ll benefit from his partner’s earlier support and sacrifice. That’s teamwork for a lifetime together. The other case is where there are children involved. That’s another type of teamwork for a lifetime.

But I think it’s not a good idea for two people who have built separate lives, and perhaps meet at age 40. If there’s a big income disparity, it’s a big risk that one party can lose a lifetime’s worth of effort in a breakup. I have a friend who’s a doctor and at age 60 married a young Brazilian guy, maybe about age 25-30. He took a big risk, but it seems to be working out ok.

There is a third case where marriage makes sense. If a couple has already been together for a while, I’m thinking about 5+ years or so, they might want to get married for all the legal benefits that it offers.

I had a boyfriend of almost 3 years that I lived with who turned into a duplicitous gold digger. I guess he always was, it was his nature, but I ignored it until it became too much. So, that’s my reference.

You know, OP, your anecdotes don't mean shit when you look at actual statistics. And since marriage equality has been around for such a short period of time, the statistics (which show that gays and straights marry and divorce at basically the same rate) aren't yet validated by actual data. That [italic]you[/italic] know three couples, two of which divorced, says more about [italic]you[/italic] than it does about them. Or us. Or reality.

But along comes this winner:

[quote]This just goes to show why if you are going to decide to be a gay, you should be ready to accept that you’re not supposed to marry or have kids. Gay people were meant for muti partner sex, to be florist, hairdressers and decorators. The sooner we as a community except that the better off we’ll be.

Which are you, R12? A florist, hairdresser or decorator? And how do you pronounce that in Russian?

A florist, hairdresser or decorator??? 😂😂😂😂😂

I was surprised how important the Gay marriage decision was to me.

As I wrote in R14, I have no expectation to ever get Gay married. But the fact that other’s can do so, legitimizes Gay relationships, legally. It recognizes Gay people in the eyes of the law and society. It is odd that one might not feel safe holding the hand of another guy while walking down the street, and yet you can get married! So, society will have to change, and the marriage decision is a big part of changing society to acknowledge that we are here. We are everywhere. It will take time, but it’s happening.

So, even though I will not marry, the marriage decision benefits me in ways that are intangible but real, and I am grateful for that!

OP you need statistics to back up your claim or are you just a lazy brainless troll.

In any given year, about 1% of the total number of registered same sex civil unions or legal marriages will wind up in divorce.

The same sex marriage divorce rate is about 50% lower on any given year when directly compared to the heterosexual divorce rate.

I have a cousin who divorced her lifetime marriage at about age 70. It shocked everybody. She just said that she “had had enough”. I guess of a lifetime of suffering. Getting married for companionship just doesn’t always work out.

I knew a Gay couple of about 5 years who then married, and started divorce proceedings immediately after the wedding. I guess it was too much change, too fast for them. My friend was mortified to have to announce the divorce and send the wedding gifts back and all.

R15 I forgot to say make up artist at the Estée Lauder counter! Oh and don’t forget cater waiter!!!!

Keep fuckin' that chicken, R12/R20.

So?

R22 sorry I almost forgot. I’m a choreographer!!

Why shouldn’t gay people be allowed to divorce? Couples divorce for different reasons, why should gay marriages be any different from heterosexual marriages?

I have to agree with OP just based on experience. Even long time gay couples I knew who got married had a 50/50 shot. And younger, shorter-term relationships less than that. And that includes those with kids - which really bothers me.

It’s weird - but made me think there is something about the presumptive “lock” on the relationship that feeds either complacency or resentment or a feeling of being trapped. Not sure what it is but I’ve now seen it happen so often, it has scared me away from wanting to get married. And I’ve been with my partner for 20 years. But I am honestly afraid that getting legally married will kill the relationship. I try to remind myself every day that the relationship is a choice I’m making today. It really helps take the pressure off and minimize issues of control or anger that may arise.

I’m really glad we got the marriage right. But I don’t think I believe in marriage. I think it’s a dated concept of legal obligations that can interfere with actual emotional and psychological interaction and growth.

I’m so glad I got my full complement of F&Fs back today for r12.

R25 Bingo! I feel the same way. It’s almost like the psychology of that commitment ruins the relationship.

Roughly 50% of straight marriages fail, but no one would ever call them a joke but maybe they should. The failure rate doesn't matter to those people in love and wanting to marry, they think it is real and have just as much right to give it a try as straight people. OP even if your rate is the real failure rate, that mean 30% have succeeded to this point and that right shouldn't be denied them because you think it is a joke.

Ha ha! I have to laugh at all of the gays who want to imitate the dumb straight people. Serves them right.

I hope they have to give half of their property to their now hated ex.

OP, we have been together 25 years and faithful. You are just bitter because you don't know any better!

AND..we are still a having hot sex because we know what turns each other on.

R30 oh yeah? Care to share?

[quote]Roughly 50% of straight marriages fail

It irks me that people keep blindly quoting that statistic. It’s outdated and the divorce rate has actually been declining in the US for a while. It’s at about 30% now.

It’s more of a social observation for me of people I know and other acquaintances. I don’t have the hard statistics that the one bitter queen is looking for.

God forbid you get into an accident or get sick, R29 and no one can come to your hospital room because they’re not your family.

I sincerely hope you never have to suffer that heartbreaking indignity as I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. ANYONE.

r34 it's called power of attorney. You don't need to be married to grant it to another person, who then has say so over your care after you become incapacitated. There is plenty of legal recourse to protect gay couples without getting married. I am not against it, Dumbledore bless them for going that route. Been with my partner for 20 years. We have no plans to get married. We each have a POA and living will. Each of us are named as others beneficiaries in case of death and both of us have wills. Marriage takes care of a lot of that but we don't plan on having kids so commitment is enough for us.

Here's my (very limited) anecdotal experience. I have two sets of friends who were together for a long time before they tied the knot. One couple is still together; the other would have been if not for the death of one of the men. And in doing volunteer tax preparation this year, I've worked with two same-sex couples (one gay, one lesbian) and both had been married for several years and seemed like they'd be going on forever. However, all eight of the people I've mentioned were over 45 when they got married.

My husband and I were together for 22 years when SCOTUS finally made it legal across the country. We married about 8 months later. We had a great wedding and reception. And 3.5 years later we are happier than ever. We didn't marry for monetary reasons, we have no children and we're neither ugly or overweight. Sorry you're so bitter, OP. Guessing that if anyone ever got down on one knee before you, you'd be running to the altar. Hope that happens for you anyway. It's kind of awesome.

^^And where was my invitation, bitch?

Everything anyone says here is purely anecdotal - gay marriage hasn’t been around long enough for any true quantitative study to have been done.

But since we’re sharing anecdotes, for me, within my circle of friends, since gay marriage was legalised, there’s been 11 marriages (2 for the same guy), and 2 divorces (that same guy, who curiously enough, in engaged again 🙄). Of the 9 couples I’ll count, all had been together for many, many years. The longest are now together 26 years, the shortest 9 years. All had sown their wild oats so to speak with different degrees of openness in their relationships. Only a couple of them maintain any sort of openness now, overwhelming majority went monogamous after marriage. There were different reasons for marrying - some were encouraged by their lawyer; some were active in campaigning for marriage equality; some were truly, madly in love. There are big income differences in 3 of those couples, but no gold diggers. As far as children, 3 couples have had children via surrogacy; 2 work in the city, but live in CT and Westchester, the other kept their place in the city, but have their family home out on LI.

At least anecdotally, gay marriage is no different from straight marriage it seems.

There is no one size fits all on marriage - gay or straight. To claim otherwise is just foolish.

R37 you sound so bitter!!

R39 that’s very interesting! Thank you for sharing that.

Agree, r41, that was a fun read.

Then again, UWS’r usually is a great contributor.

OP? Self-loathing much??

Cmon guys. Let’s not fight. We need to come together and unite. We’ve got to get that border closed before the super caravan reaches it.

Is it a Gay carivan?

Happily, happily married here.

I’ve been out of town this week with business, got home late yesterday to collapse. He took care of supper, pets, and only asked me to enjoy the wine and catch up on This Is Us.

After my mainly sleepless night (busy business brain) I got up early, dead-dog tired, to make him breakfast before his busy day today (real estate).

Our life would be the same with or without our marriage license. In my observation, gay people who marry do it with a little more gravity. Maybe because the right is so new it still seems like a privilege, not an expectation.

I would give the same advice to gay or straight - never before 30, at least 5 years together and never because you want a “dream” wedding.

Most of these guys are in open marriages anyway so the whole thing seems a bit pointless.

R48, how do you know what “most gays” in this country do or think? Are you a psychic or just a psycho?

First off Go fuck yourself R49 and try reading and bios on any social media platform where these married queens share every little detail of their lives.

We met in 2004. We married in 2014. We’re still together. I think the official marriage aspect has enhanced our partnership. I’m also well aware that a thing could happen in the future. But at this moment things are good and I hope they continue that way for the rest of my life...yes, my life:)

[quote]and try reading and bios on any social media platform where these married queens share every little detail of their lives.

So you’re getting your “data” from social media platforms?! The very thing that’s designed to scream “LOOK AT ME!!”? What about the millions who don’t post on social media?

Also, sex is only one aspect of any relationship and a healthy sex life—open relationship or not—is important. As long as both parties agree, what business would it be of yours what people do in their bedroom?

R50, any idea of the number of straight couples who are swingers?

[quote]Most of these guys are in open marriages anyway so the whole thing seems a bit pointless.

Meanwhile, straight married people are 1) in open marriages; or 2) cheat; and 3) divorce at an alarming rate... so gays shouldn't have the right to get married because they're honest with their betrothed?

это то, что говорит R48.

Nice, stable friends you have, OP.

Water

Did any of you who are married (or any of the couples you know) find any tax benefit (or other financial benefit) in marriage?

R56 absolutely got an advantage and we basically live off what many would consider a single person's income so with the double deduction , we live close to tax free. Most is Social Security and income off the sale of our house(tax free money) and then the remainder off IRA investments (retired here)

Actually r3 I am in a loving stable relationship, very happy, just telling my personal story.

If you don't want a gay marriage don't have one.

R52 Piss off you whore.

R39 Gay marriage is very different from straights, where you do not have an influx of queens rushing to the altar because of legislation, it is transparent and an effort to feed their egos to put them on a level above their other gays in their community.

The divorce rate of straight couples is around 50 percent I think. I was married for 5 years to another man and I have to tell you, my divorce was hell. I'm no different then any straight married and now divorced person with the same problems. In the end, money was the issue as it is with many married couples. I made the money, he spent it lol.

Bottom line, I would think 10 times before I would do again but Im very happy that marriage is now legal so everyone has equal rights. I know a lot of gay couples who have been with their partners for ever and those that should have never been married. But love is love and that just life.