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Let's be fraus shopping at Costco

I'm the mad shopping cart rush over to the sample station. They're handing out samples of lobster bisque!

by Anonymousreply 8604/14/2019

Excuse me. Where are the almonds?

by Anonymousreply 103/28/2019

Rebecca! Do you want to go in with me on a package of 20,000 Q-Tips?

by Anonymousreply 203/28/2019

I'm the matching Kirkland flannels she's buying for dad and son.

by Anonymousreply 303/28/2019

I'm the ginormous bottle of Sangria she's buying.

by Anonymousreply 403/28/2019

I'm the SUVs circling around the parking lot for the closest parking space.

by Anonymousreply 503/28/2019

I’m the dumb whore you encounter in every isle.

by Anonymousreply 603/28/2019

I'm the saved appetite for the sampling

by Anonymousreply 703/28/2019

I’m Kris and I’m a lesbian. I’m buying several large bottles of vodka to hide under my bed in hopes that my life partner Kim doesn’t find them.

by Anonymousreply 803/28/2019

Kris is in the Kirkland, long-sleeve flannel section, too.^^ She's stocking up for winter and buying some for Kim, too.

by Anonymousreply 903/28/2019

I'm Hot Costco Dad's sausage

by Anonymousreply 1003/28/2019

WAAHH!!! stinkly linky R10

by Anonymousreply 1103/28/2019

Here you go R11

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/03/28/watch-viral-video-of-hot-costco-dad-overjoyed-about-his-savings.html

I'm the single person, holding onto my nerves for dear life, trying with all my might, NOT to run over the people who stop in the middle of the crowded aisle to chat, eat samples, look around, etc.

by Anonymousreply 1203/28/2019

Dammit

by Anonymousreply 1303/28/2019

Dammit AGAIN.

Just google "hot Costco Dad"

by Anonymousreply 1403/28/2019

R14, lol. A+ for effort.

by Anonymousreply 1503/28/2019

I'm all of the raving over the bad Costco pizza.

by Anonymousreply 1603/28/2019

Thanks for all the efforts, R14. Costco dad is hot for daddy lovers, and everyone should see.

by Anonymousreply 1703/28/2019

Ohhhh let me Costco dad’s sweaty asshole. Yum!

by Anonymousreply 1803/28/2019

Swallow before shopping!

by Anonymousreply 1903/28/2019

"I'm the ginormous bottle of Sangria she's buying."

Ms. Frau is obviously not in any Costco in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

by Anonymousreply 2003/28/2019

R17 Him? DL Hot.

by Anonymousreply 2103/28/2019

Her?

by Anonymousreply 2203/28/2019

Looks like an 🥚.

by Anonymousreply 2303/28/2019

Overheard at a Rolling Stones concert: "Man, there's more 40-year old cleavage on display tonight than on any Saturday at Costco."

by Anonymousreply 2403/28/2019

I’m the black security guard at the door who asked me if I have a Costco card when I’m half way in the door and kicks me out when I said I don’t. I just wanted to eat free samples and get a churro. Never been stoped before. This sucks. (Happened last week, I was very high). Fuck you! Your just a Costco security guard, Costco security guard!

by Anonymousreply 2503/28/2019

I'm an Asian woman shopper. I might look tiny and demure, but I will fucking run you over with my cart without a thought if you are anywhere near something I want.

by Anonymousreply 2603/28/2019

I’m Chad. I work the sample table of frozen sirloin burgers on tooth picks. You can sirloin my burger any time chad. You timothee chalamet looking motherfucker

by Anonymousreply 2703/28/2019

A bit OT: my therapist gave me "homework" of going to Costco by myself, since I found the experience so overwhelming. It took some doing, but I managed. I still don't enjoy going there, but at least I am able to.

by Anonymousreply 2803/28/2019

[quote]…my therapist gave me "homework" of going to Costco by myself, since I found the experience so overwhelming…

I PREFER going to Costco by myself, as that way I don't have to continually watch that my partner isn't stuffing the cart with gallon containers of macadamia nuts or 48-packs of giant-sized Colgate toothpaste. He will buy anything if he thinks it's a bargain. I'm just the opposite, and won't get anything we don't actually need. Plus, there's this one Costco stock boy I get to ogle to my heart's content when I'm by myself.

by Anonymousreply 2903/28/2019

The odd obsession with middle aged, middle class, middle American women who are boring AF continues.

I can only assume it's because for many DLers, these women are somehow the competition, the female versions of themselves?

"Fraus" as a topic is easily one of DLs top 5

by Anonymousreply 3003/28/2019

I'll be Winter Storm Shaquan, sending droves of them to Costco in horrifying panic to stock up on a bunch of the same shi t they already have a plenty at home. I'm all anyone has been talking about for the past few days, and I take great pleasure in the secret that I'll leave just a coating behind in my wake!

Suckaaaaaaas!

by Anonymousreply 3103/28/2019

I'm the person observing the presence of 50 "butchers" and 0 employees that aren't working the cash or spreading cheese-based samples on crackers.

by Anonymousreply 3203/28/2019

I'm Mother Earth crying from the waste of all those plastic sample cups!

by Anonymousreply 3303/28/2019

I'm the person who has been somehow conned into thinking that they are spending less when they shop at Costco.

by Anonymousreply 3403/28/2019

R29: lol. It seems every Costco has at least a few young’uns bringing the pretty.

by Anonymousreply 3503/28/2019

Not your day with the links!

by Anonymousreply 3603/28/2019

We're the people blocking the aisles in order to feed on the food samples -

by Anonymousreply 3703/28/2019

I find the "meat men" hot. Love the portion sizes (wink, wink).

by Anonymousreply 3803/28/2019

I'm the three 100 pound pasta bags Joan just threw in the cart to feed all 2 of her homeschooled kids.

by Anonymousreply 3903/28/2019

You don’t need a Costco card to access the pharmacy. The guard was misinformed.

by Anonymousreply 4003/28/2019

I'm the tanker cars filled with corn syrup, petrochemicals and pesticides. I'll be making my way to Costco aisles near you, in one form or another.

by Anonymousreply 4103/28/2019

I'm the woman communicating with her over-compensating husband via walkie talkie while her brood treats her shopping cart like a mobile jungle gym.

by Anonymousreply 4203/28/2019

Thank you R17 and R14. I did my best with Hot Dad's Link.

by Anonymousreply 4303/28/2019

Ok probably true r30 but in fairness this thread is actually about Costco ...... which confirms your theory that these supposed frau-bashing posters are just a bunch of gay male fraus.

by Anonymousreply 4403/29/2019

I picked up a darling synthetic-blend blouse for a fraction of what it would have cost me at Marshall's. So I bought three, all different colors!

by Anonymousreply 4503/29/2019

I'm a 30ish space cadet frauette high on adderall and psych meds pushing her six year old daughter who's sits in the basket part of the shopping cart. She's pleasantly chirps asking her what she should buy for dinner pointing out and various frozen appetizers while the little girl seems uninterested and doesn't say much of anything.

by Anonymousreply 4603/29/2019

r24, maybe 20 years ago. Today at a Rolling Stones concert it would be 60 year old cleavage. Today's 40 year old cleavage would be at the Backstreet Boys reunion tour.

by Anonymousreply 4703/29/2019

I'm the "busy" frau who blindly shops thinking every thing at Costco is a steal. Even though it's not. But I pay to shop here so it must be a crazy deal. I mean look at the size of it! There's no way half of these things are actually cheaper in other stores. Even though they are. Bless this mess!

by Anonymousreply 4803/29/2019

I thought I was the only one suffering with anxiety at a crowded Costco. I have to shop super early.

by Anonymousreply 4903/29/2019

[quote] I’m the dumb whore you encounter in every isle.

Oh

Dear

by Anonymousreply 5003/29/2019

[quote] my therapist gave me "homework" of going to Costco by myself, since I found the experience so overwhelming.

What 8n the fuck is overwhelming about Costco unless you have dementia? It’s a place with parking lots, shopping carts and big food with pajamas, socks & marked down books.. What’s overwhelming about that?

by Anonymousreply 5103/29/2019

Oooh, r51, come sit by me!

by Anonymousreply 5203/29/2019

I’m...HER!!!

They are OUT of 6lb bags of Kirkland pistachios! Can you believe that?

Where’s the manager?

by Anonymousreply 5303/29/2019

Somebody who’s making fun of people in Costco had to go to a therapist because they were so psychologically overwhelmed by being in a Costco?

by Anonymousreply 5403/29/2019

i am that $60 saved by refusing to pay a store to actually shop there.

so, even tho am not shopping at costco: PFFT.

by Anonymousreply 5503/29/2019

I'm the bored employee half-assedly checking their receipt on their way out.

by Anonymousreply 5603/29/2019

I am a gay 24 year old dude and I fucking LOVE Costco

by Anonymousreply 5703/29/2019

Costcos always seem to have a lot of hot, young, dumb guys working there.

by Anonymousreply 5803/29/2019

I'm the box of Tampax Super Plus Tampons, 120 ct some fat frau cunt just dumped into her basket.

by Anonymousreply 5903/29/2019

R26 What state? I have had that happen several times at my Costco

by Anonymousreply 6003/29/2019

[Quote] What state? I have had that happen several times at my Costco

Alhambra, Ca. The worst!

by Anonymousreply 6103/29/2019

R53, is that Kate Gosselin's new look? God she must have needed Costco and its oversized packaging for her freakin brood.

by Anonymousreply 6203/29/2019

I'm a granny frau wearing capri jeans looking at the capris. My shins are very shiny.

by Anonymousreply 6303/29/2019

I am Debbie and I am trying to find Dr. Scholl's kiosk for orthotics. My feet have been hurting and my now retired husband needs them too when he's not watching Fox News.

by Anonymousreply 6403/29/2019

[quote]I’m the black security guard at the door who asked me if I have a Costco card when I’m half way in the door and kicks me out when I said I don’t. I just wanted to eat free samples and get a churro. Never been stoped before. This sucks. (Happened last week, I was very high). Fuck you! Your just a Costco security guard, Costco security guard!

Membership has its privileges, bitch!

by Anonymousreply 6503/29/2019

I made a special trip on one of my tender-to-the-touch days and was disappointed that Kirkland doesn't have anything to treat my fibro.

by Anonymousreply 6603/29/2019
by Anonymousreply 6703/29/2019
by Anonymousreply 6803/29/2019
by Anonymousreply 6903/29/2019

I'm the triple jumbo containers of Miralax in Kay's mobility scooter.... I know people think I can walk just fine, but between my lupus and my 1st grader's "B" on a spelling test, I just can't find the strength some days.

by Anonymousreply 7003/29/2019

I'm the Frau embarrassingly stocking up on the oversized big box of tampons.

by Anonymousreply 7104/10/2019

I’m fat.

by Anonymousreply 7204/10/2019

I live a couple of blocks from Costco. They have some unique things that aren't readily available elsewhere.

by Anonymousreply 7304/10/2019

they all move so fucking fast with those big carts at Costco. Those frau's are in a big hurry to buy their shit, get out and do more shit for themselves.

by Anonymousreply 7404/10/2019

I’m Jillian and I’m buying the non-GMO water bottles even though there is no such thing as Genetically Modified water. And I care about our planet, but not enough to stop buying a 36 pack of plastic water bottles to drink even tho I have safe water to drink from the tap and filtered water from the fridge.

by Anonymousreply 7504/10/2019

it is amazing how selfish people are in their daily life. i notice this when i'm in stores like Costco, Target, and Walmart. They are on a mad mission to get their shit, check out, and get the hell out of the store in record time. Off to the next selfish activity.

by Anonymousreply 7604/10/2019

I’m the 100 foot measuring tape Costco sells. The 300 pounders buy me when they go on a diet.

by Anonymousreply 7704/10/2019

[quote]I'm the box of Tampax Super Plus Tampons, 120 ct some fat frau cunt just dumped into her basket.

I am the abortion that R59's mother should have had.

by Anonymousreply 7804/10/2019

I'm the pick-your-ethnicity herd family shopping as a group. Each item is taken from the shelf, and all five of the adults commiserate on whether or not it's worth buying, as the six children run around like hellions.

by Anonymousreply 7904/10/2019

I'm getting a five-pack of cotton bikini briefs. I don't mind wearing my old ones with period stains but Trey says they skeeve him out.

by Anonymousreply 8004/10/2019

I am the Frau going to Sam's club because Costco is too mainstream and déclassé.

by Anonymousreply 8104/10/2019

I'm the frau attempting to stuff a 96-pack of Kirkland brand toilet paper into her shopping cart. It should last 5-7 days in my family frausehold.

by Anonymousreply 8204/10/2019

I'm the suburban gal on a weekday afternoon saving a few pennies with a bulk 100-pack of Always maxi-pads long super without wings.

by Anonymousreply 8304/14/2019

I'm the frau who sits in her gargantuan SUV after shopping.

I see all the other frazzled drivers stalking my space, but I don't care. I'm busy on Facebook Live telling everyone how awesome my shopping trip was, and how many of the hot dads there were checking out my skimpy top and super-cute shorty-shorts!!!

I'm so much more important than anyone who'd like to park and do their own shopping.

by Anonymousreply 8404/14/2019

I’m the cart left in the middle of frozen desserts while the Frau wanders off to look at frozen appetizers which is located in the next aisle. But she’s tired of pushing the cart and wants her hands free. So she’s left the half full cart - in the middle of the aisle. TEE HEE.

by Anonymousreply 8504/14/2019

Look at all these preservative and sodium filled crap I can nuke and feed to my family in 2 seconds and save some time for me.

by Anonymousreply 8604/14/2019
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