My landlord's cloddish son just moved into the apartment next door.

Throw gasoline on them and light a match.

"They tumble around wrestling or something" ...it's called sex grandpa.

Brucine. If the relatives don't get a full autopsy within the first 12-24 hours it won't be detectable.

[quote] "They tumble around wrestling or something" ...it's called sex grandpa.

No, for them it's foreplay. And afterplay and in-between-play. She'll be shrieking and laughing as he chases her around and suddenly there'll be a loud thud on the floor or against the wall. When she's not there he seems to grapple with his furniture instead.

The apartments have hardwood floors too, so it's extra loud.

The previous tenant was a light-footed middle aged woman who'd lived there longer than me. We hardly spoke and I don't know why she left. I miss her now!

You want to defuse the situation not escalate it, OP. And while I agree with R3, renal failure would be annoying, I think you may wish to consider that the clod is exercising and/or having sex. The appropriate response is to turn on loud porn and masturbate. If/when he gets quiet, so do you. He'll get the hint, and you'll get off. Later in the week, bring him some brownies and maybe he'll throw you against the wall.

How, OP? Just be yourself.

Just got noise canceling headphones. Problem solved

Oh and they’re not wrestling they’re doing the nasty

Hey OP, your new neighbors made a video. It explains a lot.

Place your speakers against the common wall between your units. Point them at clod's apartment.

Download Percy Faith's "Theme from A Summer Place". Play it on an endless repeat cycle.

Every so often, knock or pound really hard on their door or an outside wall at 3;30 am to scare the shit out f them

OP, has it occurred to you that being the building owner's son, he may be on a mission to get you to move out of your rent controlled apartment? Earphones and ear plugs at night are the way to go.

Slather your dick in ketchup and start screaming that your lover bit you. He probably won't care, but it sound fun to do!

Well you can can purchase transducers for pretty short money. Mount them to the wall and as another poster recommended play some raunchy porn. They're MUCH more effective than speakers and they direct the sound into the wall so in essence turns your walls into a great stereo system.

[quote] OP, has it occurred to you that being the building owner's son, he may be on a mission to get you to move out of your rent controlled apartment?

It has.

Thank you for the replies everyone, even the cunty ones.

OP, you have my sympathies. I had my share of lour upstairs neighbors in life. I learned that moving is the only solution. Loud people don't become quiet people. They can never admit that they are loud, therefore they do not believe their behavior at home needs modifying. These are the same people that talk loud in public, drive like assholes, put their feet up on the subway seat.

I'm learning that being on the top floor does not always guarantee quiet. I have a loud woman living below me now and I'm looking to move again.

Earplugs help, but I don't like the feeling of not hearing. And having the radio on can become tiring.

I can relate. The best thing to do is make more noise to cancel out his noise. Earplugs during sleep help, but only to a point.

Play this loudly at all hours, and they'll get the message.

Or grease, R1.

Thanks r8. BTW I love that video!

Now is as good time as ever to learn the harmonica.....at 3am next to a shared wall.

I really like "Theme from A Summer Place."

Stink bombs

Pour bleach on their stuff

Write on their car side mirror in a sharpie _ "I will fucking kill you if you don't be quiet."

If they have pets, take a picture. Print it out at home, and draw blood all over it, then return it with a caption "this is what happens to pets of neighbors who make noise."

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I’ll go over to the person’s house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I’m gone, but you know what I’ve left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says “You.” After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

Well, what strategy are you going to use?

I'm considering Brucine, suggested at r3.

Whete can I get that?

I'm actually in a similar situation where the nephew of the landlord moved in below me. I'm also in rent control (West Hollywood) and don't want to move. It's a very long long long story but basically after 4 month of living hell I complained to the property manager and he spoke with the landlords (they said they would address with him but suggestion I even call the police on him if his music got too loud). After that conversation, all was better (knocking on wood), however, he now set up equipment in his bedroom (assuming he has a pot farm there now) and I again contacted the property manager and they are today inspecting all apartments so they wouldn't know the complaint was coming from me.

You might want to try to talk to him first or leave a note but if all else fails take additional action. I, at one point, was going to report that the landlord was trying to push me out by putting a plant (his nephew) in the building to make it intolerable so I would move which is an illegal activity - go that route if you have too when all else fails.

I so know what you are going thru and hope all works out!! I just wish we could be more considerate and nice to each other!!!!!!!

Sometimes, if you approach the person in a friendly manner and inform them of your concerns, they may attempt to change their behavior. Sometimes.

But a lot of people are oblivious, rude cunts.

Thanks r26! Let us know what happens after the building inspection.

My SF rent-controlled apartment building is in month 3 of mandatory seismic retrofitting. Some days the noise is so bad I have to leave (I'm retired). I have the apartment right over the garage and entryway, and sometimes it feels like they're going to come right up through my floorboards (like right now as I type this). Things have fallen off shelves and pictures are often crooked on the wall after a day's work (they're here six days a week). Also, the contents of my storage bin in the basement are now in my living room as we all had to empty our bins. Can't use the washer and dryer in the basement either, so: laundromats, ugh. And I had to give up my garage parking space for the duration (street-sweeping days: also ugh). And it's no good complaining; the workmen are just doing their job, and this is a government-mandated project.

R29, you need to report to the City. That clearly seems against the law.

My story continues....

Okay, I got home from work and the noise was still coming thru my bedroom floor. I texted the property manager and he said it was a "whole thing" and he had to get the owners involved. Supposedly when they entered his apartment it was hot as hell, the bedroom door was locked with a plastic tarp stapled over the door. His roommate (and let me be clear these guys are straight and the nephew is a spoiled brat with a napeleon complex - he is not mentally stable and the drugs are making it worse). The nephew was not home when this happened but the roommate got him on speaker and he went ballistic. When the property mgr told the owners, they were like fuck him - this is how family treats us....hence maybe the same for you OP. So they are going back tomorrow and if the bedroom door isn't open knock it down - have the shit removed and he is out of there by May 1st. I'm actually working from home tomorrow so it's going to be interesting...

I live in a prime area of West Hollywood. My place is really really nice, been here for over 20 years - I would actually buy it if I could, that's why this is so upsetting and why I can so understand OP's story. We all need to be nicer and more considerate to each other....if I found out that I would doing something that was negatively impacting someone's life, I would be devastated and would do anything to make the issue better....

I had this happen once & asked the landlord for help 3 times. It was a barking dog situation. It would go on when the owner left in the morning, sometimes for hours. I think I was the only unit who could hear it because we were on the corner and next to the fire escape stairs. My landlord didn't do much except tell her about it...and then it helped for a few days and started again. Finally, I just left a (polite) note about it & the problem went away almost entirely. I also explained in the note that I sleep in the guest bedroom, which is where she kept the dog. I asked the LL to explain that but I doubt she did.

My neighbor in another building once told her opposite neighbor: "Hey - i don't mean to make this awkward but I can hear you guys - you know- at night" and then they were mortified and she never heard another peep out of them. That same neighbor also had stomping people above her & couldn't ever resolve things with them, however. So it depends on the person. The stomping people were rude about the whole thing, from what I remember ("we're not going to change our lives for her" kind of thing). I think she even offered to buy them an area rug.

^Thanks for the update! Tell us what happens tomorrow.

Meanwhile my next door oaf doesn't seem so bad after reading your story.

Especially for OP and R9

^^^^^^^^^ And R21

What a gorgeous instrumental piece.

Any updates for us, West Hollywood renter?

Go on

Thank you, r34-35!

Are you there, West Hollywood renter?

Did they find your neighbor's grow op?

Did Uncle Landlord give him notice?

Do you have peace yet?

You can politely end a talk with, “I mean, you don’t want everyone to hear every word you and your girlfriend say, do you? And every time you have sex?”

If you say it when both are there, the girl at least might be embarrassed.

Call the cops on them. Say they are large men of color who have been acting aggressively and threatening neighbors. Mention that you believe they are heavily armed so they should approach with extreme care. Of course the cops will come with weapons drawn. Sit back and watch the fun. Problem solved.

If they know that you're gay, you're screwed. They won't give a fuck.

I battled noise problems for 10 years in my Santa Monica rent control, and it was a nightmare. I finally moved to Colorado into a home on 1 acre....what a drastic change in quality of life. You are never aware of how this impacts your well being.... I hope you find a remedy and gain piece of mind based on the great suggestions on this thread. Wishing you peace and quiet!

The Clod has been away for a few days. It has been blissfully quiet.

Love this R34

Are you still alive West Hollywood? Did the druggie nephew find out you were the snitch? Update us, please.

Meanwhile, The Clod's gf hasn't been over in a while so I'm hoping they broke up. Now it's only him, flinging himself at his furniture and my wall.

Find the most repetitious thumping music of the disco era, put in on 10, then point your speakers towards his wall.

Then again, as someone pointed out, that turd might be living there and making noise on purpose they want YOU out.

Years ago, a friend had a similar situation in Manhattan, the new landlord wanted him out because he was paying only $200 for rent. The landlord had an empty warehoused apartment above my friend, he installed a super in there. He instructed the super to be extremely noisy. The super also planted crack vials in the various hallways, then accused the tenants of drug dealing!

The longtime tenants took the landlord to court. The landlord paid off some of the tenants to leave, he bought out some those morons for only $50,000. My friend is still in that apartment, he now pays $300! There are about four other original tenants in the eight tenant building.

I shall grit my teeth then, and hope to weedle something for me and mine out of The Clod's inheritance.

bump

You’re obviously drooling to fellate him, OP.

Post a gloryhole ad with their address and state all are welcome.

He's doing marching drills now.