The Trump Presidential Library

I liked the gold plated toilets ripped out of his apartment in Trump Tower when it was lost to NY State in an asset forfeiture action.

I liked the curtained off porno section. Pretty diverse selection of magazines and blu-ray.

It’s Central Park location is so convenient. Who knew New York would one day have a mirror gold Parthenon. And I don’t miss a third of the park. It needed that plaza and the turnstiles.

You mean the PRISON Library! "Lies My Father Told Me" by Fred Trump.

I went looking for a book on Jet skiing. Let me tell you I found something much different in the Watersports section.

There was a surprise visit from Mogul, the official White House dog.

Did anyone take The Wonderful World Of Russia ride?

Prison library. Yes!

Build the Trump Library, if there must be one, on Rikers Island. Just repaint the current buildings and call it done.

I've thought about this. lol. Can you imagine? It's hard enough to think of a "W" library. But Trump? Videos of his reality show? Pics of buildings he does not own but has conned into putting his name on. A compendium of his failed businesses- quite massive from casinos to airlines to clothing and wine... all failures. His children (all look like something is wrong with them except Ivanka who looks artificial- because she is.) Quotations from his speeches? It's mind boggling the imagine a library devoted to an incompetent, incurious, bigoted thug.

I have a feeling he will not have a library- unless he finances it. Perhaps it would be kind of like one of those creationism parks the X'tians build- you know, where humans ride dinos and Jesus is lily white etc.

The McDonald's franchise in the lobby was nice

R3 You do realize the Central Park is a temporary location the permanent location is at the sewage recycling plant out in Queens near where he grew up.

Tapes of his grab them by the pussy remarks.

I found the replica of his prison cell to be the highlight of my visit; that alone was worth the $.45 admission fee.

I was fascinated by the exhibit that showed how Ellis Island was changed into Trump Island. Great gift shop! I was never in a library that had one before!! I did enjoy buying a little piece of rock chipped from the Statue of Liberty. Only fifty bucks!

Ps: the toilets in the library involved buying a two dollar token.

I VEERED AWAY FROM THE PUSSY GRABBING EXHIBIT.

I liked the snack bar. It was convenient to have McDonalds, KFC and Burger King all in one place.

I enjoyed putting quarters in the orb to make it glow.

He's going to attach it to one of his hotels. If there even is one.

Yes, [R12], and my personal collection of pop-up books that go with them!

I loved the spray tan booth. And the Putin gloryhole was hot!

All gift shop, no library.

That chilling exhibit of Adderall containers and snorting paraphernalia.

I learned a lot from the Mail Order Brides from Eastern Europe exhibit. Was horrifying to learn they came over IN CHAINS!

^^ CHAIN OF FOOLS.

I would like to visit the umbrella exhibition.

It’s a shame he only made it three years. The actual handcuffs used to haul him out of the whitehouse were a sight to behold.

Word to the wise... TOTALLY worth paying extra for the FassPass to cut to the front of the 55 minute line waiting to snap selfies with the Eric and Don Jr. statues each standing over their own felled lion flanking the staircase to the main Liberry entrance.

Hint: Get a shot next the lions’ bellies!

If you look closely, you can see the outlines of Michael Cohen’s smushed face on Junior Mint’s lion and Eric’s lion has Roger Stone’s pointy ears poking through its rib cage.

Will there be a hairdressers/wig emporium there?

Yes, R28, but be prepared to pay extra for their extensions.

Premium Caged Brown Baby Hair woven in an almost human-like pattern and dyed, of course, to a lustrous soiled-diaper-urine yellow.

No visit is complete until you view the Bowling Green Massacre video. Quite moving.

On your way out be sure and stop by the Arcade Room featuring the Jim Acosta Dart Board.

My hands were so small compared to President Trump's lifelike animatronic figure!

The Twitter exhibit hall was wild. Just a large room filled with random words displayed on the walls. In the center of the room was an orange Trump mannequin sitting on a gold toilet holding an iPhone. The display was complete with sound effects. (I'll leave it at that.)

The "Are You Taller Than Barron Trump?" Display.

I got my elderly mom a dab of vaginal rejuvenation in the clinic there. A beautiful afternoon at the Trump Library and Surgical Suites! ****

I liked the ice cream parlor that sold only single scoops of ice cream

Trump Steak Shakes!

Kinda hard to find the books your looking for though, what with the Donnie Decimal System they got goin’.

The debate puppets. The reenactment of the "Because you'd be in jail" moment is priceless.

I enjoyed the fact that it was built in a swamp

The "Imitate First Lady Melania" Photo Trout Pout! Stand next to the life-size animatronic figure of America's Most Beautiful and Stylish First Lady!

The gift shop has a selection of Melanias used undies for sale, if you buy 3 you get one free.

Don't forge to visit the Moscow branch of the library.

There's a roped off section where you can get your picture taken with a cardboard cut out of Donald giving the thumbs up. You can also buy an autographed picture of him. It's the head shot he uses on twitter

The Hall of the Mrs. Trumps & Hookers was nice. The Stormy Daniel's mannequin was sensitively done. I liked the illuminated wall display of the payoff checks signed by Trump. The library designers are very talented and so good with materials.

There is a book you can buy in the gift shop, "The Collected Quotes of President Donald J. Trump." The entire book is filled with insightful and witty quotes he has never said. Most of them have been lifted from known quotes by other people.

The Melania-themed limerick in the bathroom was particularly inspired.

I loved that the TVs in the faux Oval Office were all tuned to the Gorilla Channel

I bought the green "I Really Don't Care, Do U?" poncho in the gift shop.

I'm still reading "Be Best" by Melania....fastinating!

I’m thinking what city would possibly want the library.

R50 Any city in a deep red state.

If you are in the book section of the gift shop and ask dicreetly the clerk behind the counter will sell you the 6 picture set of Trump with his favorite Russian hookers. The infamous pee photo is part of the set.

I enjoyed the orange spray tan machine, $10.00 buck a tan!

I enjoyed the pee on me exhibit, with the Russian Whores actually pissing on me.

I enjoyed Barron's crayon stick figure drawings.

I enjoyed the Arcade. I played "Lock Her Up!"; "Find the Emails!"; "You're the Puppet!"; and "Toss the Paper Towels!" That one was awesome! There were filled water buckets holding little Rican figures with out-stretched arms that you tried to catch your towels on! But it was more fun when you knocked them into the water!

The prizes were cool, too! I won a stuffed "Mikey the Rat" and an Old Lady in a Pants Suit puppet with a Bull's-eye on its back! I gave that prize to my older brother DJ. He laughed and said, "I love it!"

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The AstroTurf gardens were...green...ish.

I loved how you could get your named printed on a framed "Authentic Kenyan Birth Certificate"

I found the pink marble and gold plated everything else a bit over the top for my taste.

The kids thought the "show where Donald touched you" dolls were a hoot!

The gold-plated toilets were cool.

"I enjoyed the pee on me exhibit, with the Russian Whores actually pissing on me. "

The fact that it was an authentic bouncy house recreation of a Moscow Ritz hotel room made it extra fun!

Attached to the gift shop is a casino. Of course, all of the machines are rigged completely in the house's favor - you lose every time you play. There is an animatronic Donald at the exit proclaiming you a loser and a bad man as you leave.

The recreation of Times Square in the 70's, with the porn shops, porn movie theaters, and prostitutes was a real treat. They were playing Trump's Access Hollywood tape on a loop, and the smell of garbage and cigarette smoke mingled with stank was a great touch.

The gift shop has an adult section where I bought a instructional DVD where Melania hosts a lemon party. She gives great tips on how to keep your lunch down when fellating old men.

I liked the fake Time magazine cover that he photoshopped his face onto.

Did you see the Mannequin of Li'l Kim with his Trump wig on? Cute. And There was a full wall of floor to ceiling photographs of a bare chested Putin riding a horse....man, Trump loves him some Vlad, baby!

I understand that the current set of Fake Melania will become tour guides at the Presidential facility.

I liked the hologram of Joan Rivers in the casino.

R66 That is part of the set of framed pictures of DT accepting awards for the Nobel Peace Prize, The Sakharov Prize and the Wallenberg Prize and several others. We have photoshopped him in place of the real recipients. This is a limited edition collector set available only in the book store.

The kiddies loves the Whack-A-Palestinian game. Especially since they use real Palestinians.

Did anybody check out Ivanka's accessory and shoe store that was right next door? A lot of overpriced Louboutin knock-offs and they weren't even real leather.

I love you bitches.

The ambiance will be "old pee", like everything Trump. orangey metallic and acrid

My kids loved the Putin's Puppet Theater. And the Hall of Bankruptcies is enormous.

The marzipan Taj Mahal desserts were hard and rancid.

The mascots Bigly and Yuge scared my kids.

[quote]I found the pink marble and gold plated everything else a bit over the top for my taste.

Don't look closely at the gold plating it's actually plastic yellow chrome made to look like gold.

It will be a huge embarrassment. I hope they put Trump ‘s tweets and ghost written works in one room, and the rest of his administrations work elsewhere, since they ought to be in a completely differet leagues.

The shrine to Howard Rubinstein was a bit much.

Don't forget to stop at the Trump restaurant near the entrance it is decorated with logos from his favorite fast food joints. There is a special "High Tea" luncheon featuring a sample of his favorites, Taco Bowl, Double Cheese Burgers, KFC Mini buckets, and a large order of greasy fries. Instead of cups of coffee or tea you get a supersized diet drink of your choice.

I got lost in the "No Collusion" Hall of Smoke and Mirrors.

Trump, Kellyanne and Sarah each have there own Wheel of Lies you can spin. I got "because he loves this country" on the Kellyanne wheel.

The food at Hamberders and Covfefe snack shop was bad.

the Donny Two Scoops Ice Cream shop was fine. But you can only have one scoop.

I was bored by the Hall of Resignations.

The Ivanka and Jared Flee to Israel to Avoid Prosecution Ride was closed because of a government shutdown.

The "Donated by Vladimir Putin" plaque under the "Trump-Age Accelerates Democracy Extinction" exhibit raised my eyebrow.

Don't forget to indulge at the "omelette station" in the re-creation of the Mar-A-Lago Breakfast Room.

Required Dress Code: Shorts, tank tops, flip flops or Crocs.

I thought the “grab Ivanka’s intimate spaces” interactive exhibit was innovative, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

The opening hours are erratic.

We found one lady at the entrance, who had arrived bang on time, had been waiting 12 minutes before it opened.

I enjoyed the exhibit that lets you perform a similated lobotomy on Melania. It was kind of gross, but I was surprised how easy it is to sever the frontal lobe and create your very own stepford wife.

Between the Library and the parking lot is a 1583 foot corridor, " The Hall of 10,000 Lies", a chronological listing of every fib, half truth, exaggeration, baldfaced lie and misdirection uttered by the cheeto during his term of office...

I do think 10 golf linksssssss are excessive excessive.

Me and the kids really enjoyed the Hillary lost emails maze.

We enjoyed playing a game of football with the actual ball that was used in the Qatar World Cup Final

Qatar played Egypt in the 104 degree final with Qatar winning 10-0 in the final.

The animatronic pussy grabbing room was fun, even though Ann Coulter’s snatch was on the fritz. The Huckabeest’s made for the most satisfying grab. Odorrama cards were available for an extra charge.

It was a good idea to have Morgan Freeman reading Trump's tweets piped in. They seemed much less unhinged.

I can't wait for the Kellyanne Conway inaugural costume exhibit to open. It's going to be so inspiring. They've even purchased the actual Tales of the Darkside Crypt keeper to be the mannequin for it.

Don't forget to check out the bathrooms all the fixtures are gold plated (plastic made to look like gold) as are all the floor tiles, wall tiles and toilet stalls. In addition to the usual paper towels and tissues there are large cans of hairspray the same type DT uses but be careful it will color any hair no matter what the color to a cheap looking shade of brassy blond.

Was anyone else uncomfortable by seeing Barron so conspicuously covered up in plain view? Is the family ever going to acknowledge he’s there? If not, why don’t they just hide him away for good like the English royals do with the family members who embarrass them?

He will insist on Mein Kampf and that's about it.