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Let's be a cozy Friday night for a 50-something lesbian couple

I'm the vanilla candles and the Karla Bonoff cassette.

by Anonymousreply 18403/14/2019

I'm the sound of Kim's suburu rattling up the driveway.

by Anonymousreply 103/08/2019

I'm the amaranth tabbouleh.

by Anonymousreply 203/08/2019

I’m the hum of the mobility device zipping from room to room. Alternatively, I’m the click, click, click of the cane echoing across the vinyl flooring.

by Anonymousreply 303/08/2019

I'm the 6-pack of O'Doul's (because I'm supporting Kris' two-week sobriety anniversary.)

by Anonymousreply 403/08/2019

I'm Margaret, the new rescue cat.

by Anonymousreply 503/08/2019

I'm Kris' unfinished pottery project. (It's still on the dining table, goddamn it.)

by Anonymousreply 603/08/2019

I'm the couch dress we bought at the women's shelter thrift store last August.

by Anonymousreply 703/08/2019

I'm the over-sized softball jersey that is starting to feel snug.

by Anonymousreply 803/08/2019

I'm the bottle of Chardonnay Kris is opening in the kichen.

by Anonymousreply 903/08/2019

I'm the argument that will ensue a mere twenty minutes after the vanilla candles have been lit.

by Anonymousreply 1003/08/2019

I’m the bag of ice for Chris’ sore knees. I probably wouldn’t be needed if I lost at least 15 pounds.

by Anonymousreply 1103/08/2019

I'm their favorite episode of Xena that will be popped in the DVD player later.

by Anonymousreply 1203/08/2019

I'm the conference call with the sliding-scale counselor because "You fucking promised to work on this relationship, Kris."

by Anonymousreply 1303/08/2019

I'm Kris's nutty ex Beth Ann, peeking at them through the window

by Anonymousreply 1403/08/2019

I'm the new couple that's been married for a month.

One half of the couple was with her prior wife for 30 years, and she died of cancer in December. She couldn't be alone for more than 3 minutes, so here they are!

by Anonymousreply 1503/08/2019

I'm the missing keychain with 30 keys on it (that fell in between the cushions on the couch Kris found on Craigslist.)

by Anonymousreply 1603/08/2019

I'm the Trader Joes cinnamon streusel coffee cake.

by Anonymousreply 1703/08/2019

I'm the urn next to the front door. I contain the ashes of Kris' father.

by Anonymousreply 1803/08/2019

I'm Kris answering all the Wheel of Fortune questions before I even get a chance to goddamn look at them!

by Anonymousreply 1903/08/2019

I'm the AA meeting Kris seems hell-bent to blow off tonight.

by Anonymousreply 2003/08/2019

I'm Kris' first slurred word of the night.

by Anonymousreply 2103/08/2019

I'm the 1997 issue of "Scroll Saw, Woodworking & Crafts" next to the toilet.

by Anonymousreply 2203/08/2019

R2, errr. There was never any doubt in my mind that Shannon Miller would turn into the biggest frau who ever fraued.

by Anonymousreply 2303/08/2019

I'm the pager going off on Kris' workbelt.

by Anonymousreply 2403/08/2019

R3, that's not the only device humming tonight.

by Anonymousreply 2503/08/2019

We're catching up on The Crown tonight, and drinking beer and margaritas. We don't refer to ourselves as "I" and we only use "we" and "our" and the plural "you" for our pronouns. That way our gender identity is neutral.

by Anonymousreply 2603/08/2019

I'm the acoustic guitar by the pool table, missing the low E and G strings.

by Anonymousreply 2703/08/2019

I'm the pile of unpaid bills on the microwave that we won't even bother to look at until Kris gets her settlement.

by Anonymousreply 2803/08/2019

I am the sneaky call Kris makes to Pat, her ex.

by Anonymousreply 2903/08/2019

I'm the dry cleaning that Kris forgot to pick up...again!

by Anonymousreply 3003/08/2019

I'm the Walking Dead episodes we won't be bingeing because SOMEONE fucked up the TIVO. Again!

by Anonymousreply 3103/08/2019

I'm the snug camo sweatpants Kris wears to give her ass more symmetry.

by Anonymousreply 3203/08/2019

I'm the receipt from Home Depot still laying on the kitchen counter since yesterday.

by Anonymousreply 3303/08/2019

I'm the Shawn Colvin cd we put in after the cassette player jammed.

by Anonymousreply 3403/08/2019

I'm Kris, pretending I didn't drink 3/4 of the Chardonnay already, ignoring a call from my AA sponsor.

by Anonymousreply 3503/08/2019

I'm the TV in the living room. Shortly Kris and her babe will be snuggling with beers in hand, and watching me as LIFE BELOW ZERO comes on as they're fixated on Sue Aikens

by Anonymousreply 3603/08/2019

I'm the Pornhub app on Kris's phone, wisely set to the generic-looking icon/label option. Kim is only interested in woke, boring, "life-affirming" sex, but Kris is dying to spice things up and porn is her outlet for furtively blowing off steam.

Honestly, would it KILL Kim to at least try ass play or an honest-to-god orgy once in her life?

by Anonymousreply 3703/08/2019

I'm Bonnie Raitt, who has replaced Shawn Colvin on the cd player.

by Anonymousreply 3803/08/2019

I’m the strawberry lube that’s going to be poured over a frozen waffle in the morning. Hey, at least now I’m not going to waste.

by Anonymousreply 3903/08/2019

I'm the expired nutri-system food containers from that one time Liz tried to get in decent shape before the cruise.

by Anonymousreply 4003/08/2019

I am the boundaries

by Anonymousreply 4103/08/2019

I’m the signed copy of Carole King’s Tapestry hung proudly in an album frame purchased at IKEA.

by Anonymousreply 4203/08/2019

There are some keen observers of Human Nature on this thread...

by Anonymousreply 4303/08/2019

Kris, scanning through the TV channel guide, loudly blurts out "what the hell is this RuPaul's Drag Race? I was looking for NASCAR."

by Anonymousreply 4403/08/2019

I'm the 50-something gay guy (but looks like 25) who'll never have cozy evenings with anybody but his cat.

by Anonymousreply 4503/08/2019

Kris and I disagree on the top two women's college basketball teams. I say they are UCONN and Mississippi State. She says Baylor and Notre Dame.

by Anonymousreply 4603/08/2019

I'm the clueless but curious married lady from next door, dropping by to return Kris and Kim's dogeared copy of "The Enchanted Broccoli Forest"......

by Anonymousreply 4703/08/2019

I'm the one who thought naming a kid Lazer was a good idea.

by Anonymousreply 4803/08/2019

We're the cute gay couple across the street who received a gift bag of Dunkin' Donuts ground coffee from Kris and Kim last Christmas. We decided it was best not to reciprocate and develop the neighborly relationship.

by Anonymousreply 4903/08/2019

I'm the sex drawer, no one ever looks in me anymore.

by Anonymousreply 5003/08/2019

[quote]I'm the Pornhub app on Kris's phone, wisely set to the generic-looking icon/label option. Kim is only interested in woke, boring, "life-affirming" sex, but Kris is dying to spice things up and porn is her outlet for furtively blowing off steam.

[quote]Honestly, would it KILL Kim to at least try ass play or an honest-to-god orgy once in her life?

Do you even know any women, let alone lesbian ones?

by Anonymousreply 5103/08/2019

I'm the mechanical bull in the foyer.

by Anonymousreply 5203/08/2019

I'm the CPAP machine that's on its last legs.

by Anonymousreply 5303/08/2019

I'm the letters in a desk drawer from the gay males we helped through the scourge of the early AIDS crisis when no one else would that are occasionally taken out and read when we're feeling especially hopeless.

by Anonymousreply 5403/08/2019

This is the funniest shit I've read in a long time. Jesus.

by Anonymousreply 5503/08/2019

How can you people be so cruel.

by Anonymousreply 5603/08/2019

I'm telling you now.

by Anonymousreply 5703/08/2019

I'm the box of Chardonnay Kris is opening in the kitchen.

by Anonymousreply 5803/08/2019

I'm Robin Roberts tit in a jar. Nance-He stole it from the lab she worked in and gave to Kris last Christmas. Great conversation piece.

by Anonymousreply 5903/08/2019

I am the massive flea market complex. It's Saturday morning, and Kim & Kris will be visiting shortly after finishing breakfast at IHOP.

by Anonymousreply 6003/09/2019

I'm the deep regret Kris feels for falling off the wagon last night.

by Anonymousreply 6103/09/2019

I'm the day hike Kris promised to take with Kim today. But Kris' fibromyalgia is flaring up.

by Anonymousreply 6203/09/2019

I'm the pre-Grease Olivia Newton John album collection

by Anonymousreply 6303/09/2019

I’m the overbaked nutloaf picked at moved around my plate in an attempt to avoid offending Kris.

by Anonymousreply 6403/09/2019

I’m the call made to the Anti-Violence Project in the middle of the night after Kris battered her lover over the nutloaf dis.

by Anonymousreply 6503/09/2019

I'm the bar of Lava soap by the sink which Kris uses to wash her hands after giving the Subaru an oil change.

by Anonymousreply 6603/09/2019

Lot of psychopaths on this thread. Occasionally a funny comment, but most of these are only gratuitously mean and way off-base.

Do you know any lesbians, or do you just think they're all fat and unhappy, and that that's funny in itself?

Oh, for a classic Michfest-style thread instead. That was when creativity prevailed on DL.

by Anonymousreply 6703/09/2019

I’m the dusty piece of, now chipped, pottery purchased at Womencrafts in Provincetown.

by Anonymousreply 6803/09/2019

R67 - Leave. Now.

by Anonymousreply 6903/09/2019

Ooh, someone's angry that not everyone is on board for scattershot, humor-free slams.

"Let's be" threads are usually much more perceptive and funny than this dreck.

by Anonymousreply 7003/09/2019

I'm the Sarah Lawrence alumni monthly magazine on the IKEA coffee table being used as a coaster. Somewhere in the pile of other magazines is the Oberlin alum mag.

by Anonymousreply 7103/09/2019

R70 - I'm sure you're a lovely person.

But on behalf of everyone here, I want you to know that we're just not that into you.

by Anonymousreply 7203/09/2019

I'm the chain from the wallet Kris battered her with.

by Anonymousreply 7303/09/2019

I'm the emergency chocolate Kim hides in the laundry room.

by Anonymousreply 7403/09/2019

I'm the lesbians shrieking, "THATS NOT FUNNY" at this thread.

by Anonymousreply 7503/09/2019

I'm the meltdown Kris is having at the Starbucks drive-thru when they tell her they're not serving Pumpkin Spice lattes this time of year.

by Anonymousreply 7603/09/2019

I'm the animal hair covering every surface of the house and all of their clothes

by Anonymousreply 7703/09/2019

I'm the innocent request to watch the Monster Truck Rally on ESPN2 that caused the battering.

by Anonymousreply 7803/09/2019

I'm the pizza they'll end up ordering tonight when Kris fails to stop at the grocery store (because the Starbucks incident triggered her PTSD, and she barely had the energy to stop at Wendy's for a Frosty, much less shop for a week's worth of food.)

by Anonymousreply 7903/09/2019

NOT THE FACE KRIS NOT THE FACE!

by Anonymousreply 8003/09/2019

I'm the Anne Murray cassette Kris plays on her way home from Wendy's.

by Anonymousreply 8103/09/2019

I'm the hair-covered washcloth in the bathroom that will soak up Kim's tears (and a little bit of blood).

by Anonymousreply 8203/09/2019

I'm the confrontation in the driveway when Kris gets home and Kim demands an account of every minute of Kris' time away from her.

by Anonymousreply 8303/09/2019

I'm the Marlboro Lights Kim is smoking on the deck, trying to cool down after yet another argument.

by Anonymousreply 8403/09/2019

I'm the neighbor that just called the cops on these bitches. It's not the first time that I've had to do this.

by Anonymousreply 8503/09/2019

I'm Kris playing dumb when Kim asks if she picked up her pack of Kools.

by Anonymousreply 8603/09/2019

I'm Kim, logging on to the message board for crochet enthusiasts. I've been having an emotional affair with a woman from Saskatchewan on here for the past eight months.

by Anonymousreply 8703/09/2019

I'm the nuns habit on a hanger in Kris' closet. I had to be washed often after the Mistress of Novices taught me the joys of Sapphiric desire.

by Anonymousreply 8803/09/2019

I'm the big mess Kris makes when she accidentally kicks the cat's water bowl while making a beeline to the fridge for the bottle of Bartles & Jaymes she hid under the rhubarb in the crisper drawer.

by Anonymousreply 8903/09/2019

R89 😂

by Anonymousreply 9003/09/2019

The abusive relationship posts are especially telling since gay males are the most likely to be in an abusive relationship and lesbians the least likely.

by Anonymousreply 9103/09/2019

R91 died of lesbian bed death decades ago. She's like Miss Havisham in flannel.

by Anonymousreply 9203/09/2019

R91 W&W.

by Anonymousreply 9303/09/2019

Oops, meant R92. Brilliant.

by Anonymousreply 9403/09/2019

I'm the Amy! campaign pin that was left on the couch and poked Kris in the ass. That started everything on a bad note.

by Anonymousreply 9503/09/2019

I’m the black ceiling in the bedroom from cigarette smoke.

by Anonymousreply 9603/09/2019

I'm the 20 voicemail messages from Kris's mother. She needs to tell her about the birth of her latest grandchild. "YOU NIECE YOU SHOULD CARE!". That was a major trigger.

by Anonymousreply 9703/09/2019

I'm from the vegan co-op, my name tag says Moon. Anyway, I like when Kris comes in. She knows me and always smiles.

I like her vibe. Maybe I should bring over some gluten free muffins.

by Anonymousreply 9803/09/2019

I always love the lets be threads. Funny stuff with stereotype responses.

by Anonymousreply 9903/09/2019

I'm DAY ONE of Kris' new sobriety pledge. This time it's gonna stick.

by Anonymousreply 10003/09/2019

I’m MSNBC muted in the background. I’m on all day. Kris is apoplectic about this fake president!!!

by Anonymousreply 10103/09/2019

I'm the minority stress. I play a big part in Kris' under-achieving and her constant "bad choices". She isn't even aware I exist.

by Anonymousreply 10203/09/2019

I don't get why Kris thinks Rachael & Tommi-whatshername are better than Martha & Snoop.

by Anonymousreply 10303/09/2019

I'm the Beth Ditto poster thumbtacked above the toilet.

by Anonymousreply 10403/09/2019

I'm the nut loaf in freezer. Kim will bring me to the Al-anon potluck this Wednesday.

by Anonymousreply 10503/09/2019

I'm Kris saying, "Let's just finish up all the remaining alcohol in the house so it won't tempt me, and then I'll go clean tomorrow. I promise," as she pours from that bottle of cheap spumante Gretchen gave them for Solstice.

by Anonymousreply 10603/09/2019

I'm the endless processing.

by Anonymousreply 10703/09/2019

Laying on the coffee table, we are the three brochures from different campgrounds near the Smokey Mountains whereby Kim and Kris plan to spend a week for an early summer vacation.

by Anonymousreply 10803/09/2019

I'm Kim, purposely missing the ashtray, spilling ashes on the new FJÄLLBO coffee table from IKEA, triggering Kris' OCD from across the room.

by Anonymousreply 10903/09/2019

I'm Susan, Kim's lesbian social worker friend who has tried to convince Kim to leave Kris.

by Anonymousreply 11003/09/2019

I'm Kris' rape whistle that Kris is blowing at full volume as Kim continues to spill ash on their new coffee table.

by Anonymousreply 11103/09/2019

I'm the Vicodin from Kim's dental surgery last fall, that Kris has purloined. I go so well with Kris' coffee (well half Bailey's, let's face it) in a pottery mug from the crafts faire at the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival.

by Anonymousreply 11203/09/2019

I'm the old brochures for IVF, collecting dust in Kim's desk

by Anonymousreply 11303/09/2019

I’m Kris’s unused maxi pads under the bathroom sink since she’s been menopausal

by Anonymousreply 11403/09/2019

I'm Kris, swigging down the last of the spumante--straight from the bottle--while derisively reading outloud Kim's neglected New Year's resolutions (scribbled on the back of a Jenny Craig calorie chart.)

by Anonymousreply 11503/09/2019

I'm the chainsaw-art totem pole in the front yard.

by Anonymousreply 11603/09/2019

I’m the spray hose on the kitchen sink where Kim and Kris shampoo their cats.

by Anonymousreply 11703/09/2019

I'm the recovery worksheets passively aggressively posted to the fridge with the Rosie the Riveter magnet collection.

by Anonymousreply 11803/09/2019

I’m the flannel shirt in the closet that Kris’ first lover Janice gave to her at her first abortion rights march.

by Anonymousreply 11903/09/2019

I’m the MJ record We Are the World spinning thru Kris’ head as We are lesbines We are rug munchers We are butch dykes who work with power tools so let's start scissoring There's a choice we're making to eat beaver every night we'll strap it on and be the man in the 🏳️‍🌈community

by Anonymousreply 12003/09/2019

I'm the sudden urge to pop a packet of Orville Redenbacher!

by Anonymousreply 12103/09/2019

I'm Kris starting the Durflame log. I know it's going to send out tiny sparks to make little burn holes in Kim's new carpet. She should have consulted me on the color.

by Anonymousreply 12203/09/2019

I'm Jennifer, the 40ish built bottle blonde recent divorcee who works with Kim and has "experimented" and I'm dropping in to get a little closer to her.

I've brought a bottle of amber rum as well as a few bottles of sugar cane Coca Cola to keep Kris busy. I'll tell them the rum was a gift from my brother from his trip to Martinique or something. "Me? What do I know about licquor? Or should I say liqueur?" If Kim or, heaven forbid Kris, notices it's domestic, i'll roll my eyes and say something like, "men are such LIARS. Best thing I ever did was get divorced."

Come to think of it, I HOPE Kris notices. Then I can play dumb about booze again and kiss her ass playing up to her superior knowledge of all things spirits, the fucking drunk. I hope for a knowing, bewildered glance from Kim.

by Anonymousreply 12303/09/2019

An eleven year old is old enough to look after an eight year old all night. Right?

by Anonymousreply 12403/09/2019

I'm the CD of Yes I Am that Jennifer has been listening to in her LeBaron all week to build up the courage to come over tonight.

by Anonymousreply 12503/09/2019

I'm Melissa Etheridge, taking a crap on a Sisterhood is Powerful tee shirt under the futon in the guest /craft room. I'm a cat, not the actual singer! Brandi Carlile is asleep on the loom. Again, cat.

by Anonymousreply 12603/09/2019

I'm the cat hair in the salsa.

by Anonymousreply 12703/09/2019

I’m the Birkenstock’s that Kris slips on when she runs outside to smoke a cigarette.

by Anonymousreply 12803/09/2019

I'm the Trader Joe's black bean dip in the fridge with only a little bit of mold.

by Anonymousreply 12903/09/2019

127 and 129. I do not know why. But I just spit out my gin and tonic laughing. A long week I guess. But damn, that belly laugh was needed. Thank you. (Cat hair in the salsa......... fucking genius). Lol. Sorry. Carry on.

by Anonymousreply 13003/09/2019

I'm the $200.00 worth of losing scratchies Kim just through in the trash. Her dreams of getting out have died for another day.

by Anonymousreply 13103/09/2019

I'm Kim's ex (Mavonne) who just called to borrow money to replace the clutch on the Karmann Ghia they used to own together.

by Anonymousreply 13203/09/2019

I'm the dental implants Kim got a few years back, the same year she finally ditched the mullet.

Kris makes fun of the slight speech impediment I gave Kim and calls Kim "Clarice Starling" behind her back.

by Anonymousreply 13303/09/2019

What's with the shit music OP?

by Anonymousreply 13403/10/2019

Sorry, wrong thread

by Anonymousreply 13503/10/2019

I'm the Joan Armatrading cd Kris plays to drown out Kim when she goes on a rant demanding:

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me to change the time on the alarm clock! Now I missed the Skype session with my curling club. Jesus christ."

by Anonymousreply 13603/10/2019

I'm the wall clock over the dinette. Kris ordered me online.

by Anonymousreply 13703/10/2019

I'm Kris's first day of sobriety, for real this time. No more empty promises.

by Anonymousreply 13803/10/2019

I'm the Pumpkin Spice Coffee-Mate that Kim gives to Kris as a peace offering.

by Anonymousreply 13903/10/2019

I'm the undiagnosed borderline personality disorder.

by Anonymousreply 14003/10/2019

I'm the cat hair in the morning after omelette.

by Anonymousreply 14103/10/2019

I'm the kitchen counter on Saturday morning, after the latest Friday night blow-out argument.

Fuck you Kris, YOU can clean it up!

by Anonymousreply 14203/10/2019

I'm Kim, already trembling, when I think of the yearly effort to dye Easter Eggs.

by Anonymousreply 14303/10/2019

I'm the tea cozy Kris keeps trying to finish crocheting every time she gets drunk.

by Anonymousreply 14403/10/2019

I'm the clueless but curious lady from next door, popping by this morning to see what's going on. "Everything OK here? I heard crashing last night - it sounded like a homemade pottery mug being hurled through a stained glass window!"

by Anonymousreply 14503/10/2019

I'm a few drops of oil from the cats' sardine can added to the diffuser, to set the mood...

by Anonymousreply 14603/10/2019

OMG R146! You bitch! LOL!!!!

by Anonymousreply 14703/10/2019

I'm the Walgreens automated phone calls reminding Kris that her Lithium and Clonazepam prescriptions are ready.

by Anonymousreply 14803/10/2019

I'm an unused dental dam, gathering dust on the nightstand.

by Anonymousreply 14903/10/2019

We're Kim's co-workers. Monday morning, Kim will tell us that she and Kris had a quiet weekend. We don't believe her.

by Anonymousreply 15003/10/2019

I'm the CBD oil Kim has delivered to her P.O. box. It keeps her off the knife's edge.

by Anonymousreply 15103/10/2019

I'm the inevitable black eye.

by Anonymousreply 15203/10/2019

I’m Kim’s mom. I’m calling to let Kim know that her old high school sweetheart Brian will be in town next weekend to visit his parents. Oh and he just happens to be available. I know that if Kim just got it good from a man she’d leave this cold known as Kris and start giving me my damn grandchildren!!

by Anonymousreply 15303/10/2019

I’m the dream catcher hanging from the rear view mirror of the RV in the driveway which hasn’t been driven in years.

by Anonymousreply 15403/10/2019

I'm Kim's bra. I haven't been worn in six days because that's when she last left the house.

by Anonymousreply 15503/10/2019

[quote]I'm an unused dental dam...

I'm starting to think that many of you only know lesbians through things written by straight people or other gay men. Or, perhaps, considering this post, safe sex health pamphlets.

by Anonymousreply 15603/10/2019

I'm the safe sex pamphlet from 1983.

by Anonymousreply 15703/10/2019

I'm an unopened bottle of Chardonnay.

How long will I stay this way?

by Anonymousreply 15803/10/2019

I'm the fruit enfused, low impact weed in the vape for later in the evening.

by Anonymousreply 15903/10/2019

I’m Kris’ nail file. I want to make sure Kris doesn’t hurt Kim.

by Anonymousreply 16003/10/2019

I'm the scars that nobody sees.

by Anonymousreply 16103/10/2019

Hello All - We're the Joan Armatrading an KD Lang CDs.

by Anonymousreply 16203/10/2019

I'm the dog-eared paperback of Rubyfruit Jungle stashed on a bathroom shelf. Kim has been reading and re-reading me since 1988.

by Anonymousreply 16303/10/2019

I'm the turkey baster.

by Anonymousreply 16403/10/2019

We're Sharon and Jess. We've been arguing all afternoon about who gets to be the first to take this out on its initial run.

by Anonymousreply 16503/10/2019

I'm the vagina incense burner on the nightstand.

by Anonymousreply 16603/10/2019

I'm the Katherine Moennig fantasy they both hide.

by Anonymousreply 16703/10/2019

I'm Audre Lorde and I approve this evening at home.

by Anonymousreply 16803/11/2019

I'm Kim's compost bin made from reclaimed pallet wood.

by Anonymousreply 16903/11/2019

I'm the feather down vest Kim will be using as a pillow tonight while she sleeps on the couch. Kris will not give her a pillow from one of the upstairs bedrooms. Plus Kris has put up the pet gate at the top of the stairs. There will be no sneaking into the guest room.

by Anonymousreply 17003/11/2019

I’m Kris’ dirty used vibrator stuffed between the sofa cushions. She doesn’t know I’m here because she used me when she was drunk and passed out.

by Anonymousreply 17103/11/2019

I'm the moon cup that melted in the dishwasher even though I came with "hand wash only" instructions.

by Anonymousreply 17203/11/2019

I'm the massive dump Kris left in the toilet. She always forgets to flush me when she's reading Sports Illustrated on the crapper.

by Anonymousreply 17303/11/2019

R173, girls don't poo!

by Anonymousreply 17403/12/2019

I'm the weather-worn and faded rainbow flag limply hanging next to the front door.

by Anonymousreply 17503/12/2019

I’m the mosquito bite on top of the HRC tattoo that Kris is absentmindedly scratching. It’s better that the mosquito bit her there instead of the newly applied Taco Bell logo tattoo on the other calf.

by Anonymousreply 17603/12/2019

I'm the "Sorry We're Out Of Fucks" doormat on their front porch.

by Anonymousreply 17703/12/2019

What's Kate Moennig doing these days, btw? She looked like a user.

by Anonymousreply 17803/12/2019

Kris kept the doggy gate even though she brought kim's dalmatian puppy to the pound years ago.

by Anonymousreply 17903/12/2019

I'm the Cunt Coloring Book Kim gave Kris for Valentine's Day.

by Anonymousreply 18003/13/2019

r178 : she's been on Ray Donovan for years. Looking hot.

by Anonymousreply 18103/13/2019

I'm Kris singing in the shower the morning after "everybody's doing it doing it. picking their ass and chewing it chewing it" She knows it puts kym on edge.

by Anonymousreply 18203/13/2019

We’re the lawn chairs and cooler out by the porch! Pride season is coming up, and Kris & Kym can’t wait to pack us up into the Subaru Outlander and head down to the Asbury Park NJ Pride Festival, where Sophie B Hawkins will be performing on the main stage in the middle of a field. A blotchy, sunburned Kris will be about 7 Coors deep screaming along to “Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover” as Sophie looks out into the audience, locks eyes with a bleary, stumbling Kris and reevaluates her lot in life.

by Anonymousreply 18303/13/2019

I'm the first dance at the reception after Kris and Kim's commitment ceremony in 1994.

by Anonymousreply 18403/14/2019
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