I'm the vanilla candles and the Karla Bonoff cassette.
Let's be a cozy Friday night for a 50-something lesbian couple
|by Anonymous||reply 184||03/14/2019|
I'm the sound of Kim's suburu rattling up the driveway.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||03/08/2019|
I'm the amaranth tabbouleh.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||03/08/2019|
I’m the hum of the mobility device zipping from room to room. Alternatively, I’m the click, click, click of the cane echoing across the vinyl flooring.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||03/08/2019|
I'm the 6-pack of O'Doul's (because I'm supporting Kris' two-week sobriety anniversary.)
|by Anonymous||reply 4||03/08/2019|
I'm Margaret, the new rescue cat.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||03/08/2019|
I'm Kris' unfinished pottery project. (It's still on the dining table, goddamn it.)
|by Anonymous||reply 6||03/08/2019|
I'm the couch dress we bought at the women's shelter thrift store last August.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||03/08/2019|
I'm the over-sized softball jersey that is starting to feel snug.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||03/08/2019|
I'm the bottle of Chardonnay Kris is opening in the kichen.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||03/08/2019|
I'm the argument that will ensue a mere twenty minutes after the vanilla candles have been lit.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||03/08/2019|
I’m the bag of ice for Chris’ sore knees. I probably wouldn’t be needed if I lost at least 15 pounds.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||03/08/2019|
I'm their favorite episode of Xena that will be popped in the DVD player later.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||03/08/2019|
I'm the conference call with the sliding-scale counselor because "You fucking promised to work on this relationship, Kris."
|by Anonymous||reply 13||03/08/2019|
I'm Kris's nutty ex Beth Ann, peeking at them through the window
|by Anonymous||reply 14||03/08/2019|
I'm the new couple that's been married for a month.
One half of the couple was with her prior wife for 30 years, and she died of cancer in December. She couldn't be alone for more than 3 minutes, so here they are!
|by Anonymous||reply 15||03/08/2019|
I'm the missing keychain with 30 keys on it (that fell in between the cushions on the couch Kris found on Craigslist.)
|by Anonymous||reply 16||03/08/2019|
I'm the Trader Joes cinnamon streusel coffee cake.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||03/08/2019|
I'm the urn next to the front door. I contain the ashes of Kris' father.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||03/08/2019|
I'm Kris answering all the Wheel of Fortune questions before I even get a chance to goddamn look at them!
|by Anonymous||reply 19||03/08/2019|
I'm the AA meeting Kris seems hell-bent to blow off tonight.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||03/08/2019|
I'm Kris' first slurred word of the night.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||03/08/2019|
I'm the 1997 issue of "Scroll Saw, Woodworking & Crafts" next to the toilet.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||03/08/2019|
R2, errr. There was never any doubt in my mind that Shannon Miller would turn into the biggest frau who ever fraued.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||03/08/2019|
I'm the pager going off on Kris' workbelt.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||03/08/2019|
R3, that's not the only device humming tonight.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||03/08/2019|
We're catching up on The Crown tonight, and drinking beer and margaritas. We don't refer to ourselves as "I" and we only use "we" and "our" and the plural "you" for our pronouns. That way our gender identity is neutral.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||03/08/2019|
I'm the acoustic guitar by the pool table, missing the low E and G strings.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||03/08/2019|
I'm the pile of unpaid bills on the microwave that we won't even bother to look at until Kris gets her settlement.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||03/08/2019|
I am the sneaky call Kris makes to Pat, her ex.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||03/08/2019|
I'm the dry cleaning that Kris forgot to pick up...again!
|by Anonymous||reply 30||03/08/2019|
I'm the Walking Dead episodes we won't be bingeing because SOMEONE fucked up the TIVO. Again!
|by Anonymous||reply 31||03/08/2019|
I'm the snug camo sweatpants Kris wears to give her ass more symmetry.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||03/08/2019|
I'm the receipt from Home Depot still laying on the kitchen counter since yesterday.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||03/08/2019|
I'm the Shawn Colvin cd we put in after the cassette player jammed.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||03/08/2019|
I'm Kris, pretending I didn't drink 3/4 of the Chardonnay already, ignoring a call from my AA sponsor.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||03/08/2019|
I'm the TV in the living room. Shortly Kris and her babe will be snuggling with beers in hand, and watching me as LIFE BELOW ZERO comes on as they're fixated on Sue Aikens
|by Anonymous||reply 36||03/08/2019|
I'm the Pornhub app on Kris's phone, wisely set to the generic-looking icon/label option. Kim is only interested in woke, boring, "life-affirming" sex, but Kris is dying to spice things up and porn is her outlet for furtively blowing off steam.
Honestly, would it KILL Kim to at least try ass play or an honest-to-god orgy once in her life?
|by Anonymous||reply 37||03/08/2019|
I'm Bonnie Raitt, who has replaced Shawn Colvin on the cd player.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||03/08/2019|
I’m the strawberry lube that’s going to be poured over a frozen waffle in the morning. Hey, at least now I’m not going to waste.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||03/08/2019|
I'm the expired nutri-system food containers from that one time Liz tried to get in decent shape before the cruise.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||03/08/2019|
I am the boundaries
|by Anonymous||reply 41||03/08/2019|
I’m the signed copy of Carole King’s Tapestry hung proudly in an album frame purchased at IKEA.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||03/08/2019|
There are some keen observers of Human Nature on this thread...
|by Anonymous||reply 43||03/08/2019|
Kris, scanning through the TV channel guide, loudly blurts out "what the hell is this RuPaul's Drag Race? I was looking for NASCAR."
|by Anonymous||reply 44||03/08/2019|
I'm the 50-something gay guy (but looks like 25) who'll never have cozy evenings with anybody but his cat.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||03/08/2019|
Kris and I disagree on the top two women's college basketball teams. I say they are UCONN and Mississippi State. She says Baylor and Notre Dame.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||03/08/2019|
I'm the clueless but curious married lady from next door, dropping by to return Kris and Kim's dogeared copy of "The Enchanted Broccoli Forest"......
|by Anonymous||reply 47||03/08/2019|
I'm the one who thought naming a kid Lazer was a good idea.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||03/08/2019|
We're the cute gay couple across the street who received a gift bag of Dunkin' Donuts ground coffee from Kris and Kim last Christmas. We decided it was best not to reciprocate and develop the neighborly relationship.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||03/08/2019|
I'm the sex drawer, no one ever looks in me anymore.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||03/08/2019|
[quote]I'm the Pornhub app on Kris's phone, wisely set to the generic-looking icon/label option. Kim is only interested in woke, boring, "life-affirming" sex, but Kris is dying to spice things up and porn is her outlet for furtively blowing off steam.
[quote]Honestly, would it KILL Kim to at least try ass play or an honest-to-god orgy once in her life?
Do you even know any women, let alone lesbian ones?
|by Anonymous||reply 51||03/08/2019|
I'm the mechanical bull in the foyer.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||03/08/2019|
I'm the CPAP machine that's on its last legs.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||03/08/2019|
I'm the letters in a desk drawer from the gay males we helped through the scourge of the early AIDS crisis when no one else would that are occasionally taken out and read when we're feeling especially hopeless.
|by Anonymous||reply 54||03/08/2019|
This is the funniest shit I've read in a long time. Jesus.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||03/08/2019|
How can you people be so cruel.
|by Anonymous||reply 56||03/08/2019|
I'm telling you now.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||03/08/2019|
I'm the box of Chardonnay Kris is opening in the kitchen.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||03/08/2019|
I'm Robin Roberts tit in a jar. Nance-He stole it from the lab she worked in and gave to Kris last Christmas. Great conversation piece.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||03/08/2019|
I am the massive flea market complex. It's Saturday morning, and Kim & Kris will be visiting shortly after finishing breakfast at IHOP.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||03/09/2019|
I'm the deep regret Kris feels for falling off the wagon last night.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||03/09/2019|
I'm the day hike Kris promised to take with Kim today. But Kris' fibromyalgia is flaring up.
|by Anonymous||reply 62||03/09/2019|
I'm the pre-Grease Olivia Newton John album collection
|by Anonymous||reply 63||03/09/2019|
I’m the overbaked nutloaf picked at moved around my plate in an attempt to avoid offending Kris.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||03/09/2019|
I’m the call made to the Anti-Violence Project in the middle of the night after Kris battered her lover over the nutloaf dis.
|by Anonymous||reply 65||03/09/2019|
I'm the bar of Lava soap by the sink which Kris uses to wash her hands after giving the Subaru an oil change.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||03/09/2019|
Lot of psychopaths on this thread. Occasionally a funny comment, but most of these are only gratuitously mean and way off-base.
Do you know any lesbians, or do you just think they're all fat and unhappy, and that that's funny in itself?
Oh, for a classic Michfest-style thread instead. That was when creativity prevailed on DL.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||03/09/2019|
I’m the dusty piece of, now chipped, pottery purchased at Womencrafts in Provincetown.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||03/09/2019|
R67 - Leave. Now.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||03/09/2019|
Ooh, someone's angry that not everyone is on board for scattershot, humor-free slams.
"Let's be" threads are usually much more perceptive and funny than this dreck.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||03/09/2019|
I'm the Sarah Lawrence alumni monthly magazine on the IKEA coffee table being used as a coaster. Somewhere in the pile of other magazines is the Oberlin alum mag.
|by Anonymous||reply 71||03/09/2019|
R70 - I'm sure you're a lovely person.
But on behalf of everyone here, I want you to know that we're just not that into you.
|by Anonymous||reply 72||03/09/2019|
I'm the chain from the wallet Kris battered her with.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||03/09/2019|
I'm the emergency chocolate Kim hides in the laundry room.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||03/09/2019|
I'm the lesbians shrieking, "THATS NOT FUNNY" at this thread.
|by Anonymous||reply 75||03/09/2019|
I'm the meltdown Kris is having at the Starbucks drive-thru when they tell her they're not serving Pumpkin Spice lattes this time of year.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||03/09/2019|
I'm the animal hair covering every surface of the house and all of their clothes
|by Anonymous||reply 77||03/09/2019|
I'm the innocent request to watch the Monster Truck Rally on ESPN2 that caused the battering.
|by Anonymous||reply 78||03/09/2019|
I'm the pizza they'll end up ordering tonight when Kris fails to stop at the grocery store (because the Starbucks incident triggered her PTSD, and she barely had the energy to stop at Wendy's for a Frosty, much less shop for a week's worth of food.)
|by Anonymous||reply 79||03/09/2019|
NOT THE FACE KRIS NOT THE FACE!
|by Anonymous||reply 80||03/09/2019|
I'm the Anne Murray cassette Kris plays on her way home from Wendy's.
|by Anonymous||reply 81||03/09/2019|
I'm the hair-covered washcloth in the bathroom that will soak up Kim's tears (and a little bit of blood).
|by Anonymous||reply 82||03/09/2019|
I'm the confrontation in the driveway when Kris gets home and Kim demands an account of every minute of Kris' time away from her.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||03/09/2019|
I'm the Marlboro Lights Kim is smoking on the deck, trying to cool down after yet another argument.
|by Anonymous||reply 84||03/09/2019|
I'm the neighbor that just called the cops on these bitches. It's not the first time that I've had to do this.
|by Anonymous||reply 85||03/09/2019|
I'm Kris playing dumb when Kim asks if she picked up her pack of Kools.
|by Anonymous||reply 86||03/09/2019|
I'm Kim, logging on to the message board for crochet enthusiasts. I've been having an emotional affair with a woman from Saskatchewan on here for the past eight months.
|by Anonymous||reply 87||03/09/2019|
I'm the nuns habit on a hanger in Kris' closet. I had to be washed often after the Mistress of Novices taught me the joys of Sapphiric desire.
|by Anonymous||reply 88||03/09/2019|
I'm the big mess Kris makes when she accidentally kicks the cat's water bowl while making a beeline to the fridge for the bottle of Bartles & Jaymes she hid under the rhubarb in the crisper drawer.
|by Anonymous||reply 89||03/09/2019|
|by Anonymous||reply 90||03/09/2019|
The abusive relationship posts are especially telling since gay males are the most likely to be in an abusive relationship and lesbians the least likely.
|by Anonymous||reply 91||03/09/2019|
R91 died of lesbian bed death decades ago. She's like Miss Havisham in flannel.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||03/09/2019|
|by Anonymous||reply 93||03/09/2019|
Oops, meant R92. Brilliant.
|by Anonymous||reply 94||03/09/2019|
I'm the Amy! campaign pin that was left on the couch and poked Kris in the ass. That started everything on a bad note.
|by Anonymous||reply 95||03/09/2019|
I’m the black ceiling in the bedroom from cigarette smoke.
|by Anonymous||reply 96||03/09/2019|
I'm the 20 voicemail messages from Kris's mother. She needs to tell her about the birth of her latest grandchild. "YOU NIECE YOU SHOULD CARE!". That was a major trigger.
|by Anonymous||reply 97||03/09/2019|
I'm from the vegan co-op, my name tag says Moon. Anyway, I like when Kris comes in. She knows me and always smiles.
I like her vibe. Maybe I should bring over some gluten free muffins.
|by Anonymous||reply 98||03/09/2019|
I always love the lets be threads. Funny stuff with stereotype responses.
|by Anonymous||reply 99||03/09/2019|
I'm DAY ONE of Kris' new sobriety pledge. This time it's gonna stick.
|by Anonymous||reply 100||03/09/2019|
I’m MSNBC muted in the background. I’m on all day. Kris is apoplectic about this fake president!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 101||03/09/2019|
I'm the minority stress. I play a big part in Kris' under-achieving and her constant "bad choices". She isn't even aware I exist.
|by Anonymous||reply 102||03/09/2019|
I don't get why Kris thinks Rachael & Tommi-whatshername are better than Martha & Snoop.
|by Anonymous||reply 103||03/09/2019|
I'm the Beth Ditto poster thumbtacked above the toilet.
|by Anonymous||reply 104||03/09/2019|
I'm the nut loaf in freezer. Kim will bring me to the Al-anon potluck this Wednesday.
|by Anonymous||reply 105||03/09/2019|
I'm Kris saying, "Let's just finish up all the remaining alcohol in the house so it won't tempt me, and then I'll go clean tomorrow. I promise," as she pours from that bottle of cheap spumante Gretchen gave them for Solstice.
|by Anonymous||reply 106||03/09/2019|
I'm the endless processing.
|by Anonymous||reply 107||03/09/2019|
Laying on the coffee table, we are the three brochures from different campgrounds near the Smokey Mountains whereby Kim and Kris plan to spend a week for an early summer vacation.
|by Anonymous||reply 108||03/09/2019|
I'm Kim, purposely missing the ashtray, spilling ashes on the new FJÄLLBO coffee table from IKEA, triggering Kris' OCD from across the room.
|by Anonymous||reply 109||03/09/2019|
I'm Susan, Kim's lesbian social worker friend who has tried to convince Kim to leave Kris.
|by Anonymous||reply 110||03/09/2019|
I'm Kris' rape whistle that Kris is blowing at full volume as Kim continues to spill ash on their new coffee table.
|by Anonymous||reply 111||03/09/2019|
I'm the Vicodin from Kim's dental surgery last fall, that Kris has purloined. I go so well with Kris' coffee (well half Bailey's, let's face it) in a pottery mug from the crafts faire at the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival.
|by Anonymous||reply 112||03/09/2019|
I'm the old brochures for IVF, collecting dust in Kim's desk
|by Anonymous||reply 113||03/09/2019|
I’m Kris’s unused maxi pads under the bathroom sink since she’s been menopausal
|by Anonymous||reply 114||03/09/2019|
I'm Kris, swigging down the last of the spumante--straight from the bottle--while derisively reading outloud Kim's neglected New Year's resolutions (scribbled on the back of a Jenny Craig calorie chart.)
|by Anonymous||reply 115||03/09/2019|
I'm the chainsaw-art totem pole in the front yard.
|by Anonymous||reply 116||03/09/2019|
I’m the spray hose on the kitchen sink where Kim and Kris shampoo their cats.
|by Anonymous||reply 117||03/09/2019|
I'm the recovery worksheets passively aggressively posted to the fridge with the Rosie the Riveter magnet collection.
|by Anonymous||reply 118||03/09/2019|
I’m the flannel shirt in the closet that Kris’ first lover Janice gave to her at her first abortion rights march.
|by Anonymous||reply 119||03/09/2019|
I’m the MJ record We Are the World spinning thru Kris’ head as We are lesbines We are rug munchers We are butch dykes who work with power tools so let's start scissoring There's a choice we're making to eat beaver every night we'll strap it on and be the man in the 🏳️🌈community
|by Anonymous||reply 120||03/09/2019|
I'm the sudden urge to pop a packet of Orville Redenbacher!
|by Anonymous||reply 121||03/09/2019|
I'm Kris starting the Durflame log. I know it's going to send out tiny sparks to make little burn holes in Kim's new carpet. She should have consulted me on the color.
|by Anonymous||reply 122||03/09/2019|
I'm Jennifer, the 40ish built bottle blonde recent divorcee who works with Kim and has "experimented" and I'm dropping in to get a little closer to her.
I've brought a bottle of amber rum as well as a few bottles of sugar cane Coca Cola to keep Kris busy. I'll tell them the rum was a gift from my brother from his trip to Martinique or something. "Me? What do I know about licquor? Or should I say liqueur?" If Kim or, heaven forbid Kris, notices it's domestic, i'll roll my eyes and say something like, "men are such LIARS. Best thing I ever did was get divorced."
Come to think of it, I HOPE Kris notices. Then I can play dumb about booze again and kiss her ass playing up to her superior knowledge of all things spirits, the fucking drunk. I hope for a knowing, bewildered glance from Kim.
|by Anonymous||reply 123||03/09/2019|
An eleven year old is old enough to look after an eight year old all night. Right?
|by Anonymous||reply 124||03/09/2019|
I'm the CD of Yes I Am that Jennifer has been listening to in her LeBaron all week to build up the courage to come over tonight.
|by Anonymous||reply 125||03/09/2019|
I'm Melissa Etheridge, taking a crap on a Sisterhood is Powerful tee shirt under the futon in the guest /craft room. I'm a cat, not the actual singer! Brandi Carlile is asleep on the loom. Again, cat.
|by Anonymous||reply 126||03/09/2019|
I'm the cat hair in the salsa.
|by Anonymous||reply 127||03/09/2019|
I’m the Birkenstock’s that Kris slips on when she runs outside to smoke a cigarette.
|by Anonymous||reply 128||03/09/2019|
I'm the Trader Joe's black bean dip in the fridge with only a little bit of mold.
|by Anonymous||reply 129||03/09/2019|
127 and 129. I do not know why. But I just spit out my gin and tonic laughing. A long week I guess. But damn, that belly laugh was needed. Thank you. (Cat hair in the salsa......... fucking genius). Lol. Sorry. Carry on.
|by Anonymous||reply 130||03/09/2019|
I'm the $200.00 worth of losing scratchies Kim just through in the trash. Her dreams of getting out have died for another day.
|by Anonymous||reply 131||03/09/2019|
I'm Kim's ex (Mavonne) who just called to borrow money to replace the clutch on the Karmann Ghia they used to own together.
|by Anonymous||reply 132||03/09/2019|
I'm the dental implants Kim got a few years back, the same year she finally ditched the mullet.
Kris makes fun of the slight speech impediment I gave Kim and calls Kim "Clarice Starling" behind her back.
|by Anonymous||reply 133||03/09/2019|
What's with the shit music OP?
|by Anonymous||reply 134||03/10/2019|
Sorry, wrong thread
|by Anonymous||reply 135||03/10/2019|
I'm the Joan Armatrading cd Kris plays to drown out Kim when she goes on a rant demanding:
"Why the fuck didn't you tell me to change the time on the alarm clock! Now I missed the Skype session with my curling club. Jesus christ."
|by Anonymous||reply 136||03/10/2019|
I'm the wall clock over the dinette. Kris ordered me online.
|by Anonymous||reply 137||03/10/2019|
I'm Kris's first day of sobriety, for real this time. No more empty promises.
|by Anonymous||reply 138||03/10/2019|
I'm the Pumpkin Spice Coffee-Mate that Kim gives to Kris as a peace offering.
|by Anonymous||reply 139||03/10/2019|
I'm the undiagnosed borderline personality disorder.
|by Anonymous||reply 140||03/10/2019|
I'm the cat hair in the morning after omelette.
|by Anonymous||reply 141||03/10/2019|
I'm the kitchen counter on Saturday morning, after the latest Friday night blow-out argument.
Fuck you Kris, YOU can clean it up!
|by Anonymous||reply 142||03/10/2019|
I'm Kim, already trembling, when I think of the yearly effort to dye Easter Eggs.
|by Anonymous||reply 143||03/10/2019|
I'm the tea cozy Kris keeps trying to finish crocheting every time she gets drunk.
|by Anonymous||reply 144||03/10/2019|
I'm the clueless but curious lady from next door, popping by this morning to see what's going on. "Everything OK here? I heard crashing last night - it sounded like a homemade pottery mug being hurled through a stained glass window!"
|by Anonymous||reply 145||03/10/2019|
I'm a few drops of oil from the cats' sardine can added to the diffuser, to set the mood...
|by Anonymous||reply 146||03/10/2019|
OMG R146! You bitch! LOL!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 147||03/10/2019|
I'm the Walgreens automated phone calls reminding Kris that her Lithium and Clonazepam prescriptions are ready.
|by Anonymous||reply 148||03/10/2019|
I'm an unused dental dam, gathering dust on the nightstand.
|by Anonymous||reply 149||03/10/2019|
We're Kim's co-workers. Monday morning, Kim will tell us that she and Kris had a quiet weekend. We don't believe her.
|by Anonymous||reply 150||03/10/2019|
I'm the CBD oil Kim has delivered to her P.O. box. It keeps her off the knife's edge.
|by Anonymous||reply 151||03/10/2019|
I'm the inevitable black eye.
|by Anonymous||reply 152||03/10/2019|
I’m Kim’s mom. I’m calling to let Kim know that her old high school sweetheart Brian will be in town next weekend to visit his parents. Oh and he just happens to be available. I know that if Kim just got it good from a man she’d leave this cold known as Kris and start giving me my damn grandchildren!!
|by Anonymous||reply 153||03/10/2019|
I’m the dream catcher hanging from the rear view mirror of the RV in the driveway which hasn’t been driven in years.
|by Anonymous||reply 154||03/10/2019|
I'm Kim's bra. I haven't been worn in six days because that's when she last left the house.
|by Anonymous||reply 155||03/10/2019|
[quote]I'm an unused dental dam...
I'm starting to think that many of you only know lesbians through things written by straight people or other gay men. Or, perhaps, considering this post, safe sex health pamphlets.
|by Anonymous||reply 156||03/10/2019|
I'm the safe sex pamphlet from 1983.
|by Anonymous||reply 157||03/10/2019|
I'm an unopened bottle of Chardonnay.
How long will I stay this way?
|by Anonymous||reply 158||03/10/2019|
I'm the fruit enfused, low impact weed in the vape for later in the evening.
|by Anonymous||reply 159||03/10/2019|
I’m Kris’ nail file. I want to make sure Kris doesn’t hurt Kim.
|by Anonymous||reply 160||03/10/2019|
I'm the scars that nobody sees.
|by Anonymous||reply 161||03/10/2019|
Hello All - We're the Joan Armatrading an KD Lang CDs.
|by Anonymous||reply 162||03/10/2019|
I'm the dog-eared paperback of Rubyfruit Jungle stashed on a bathroom shelf. Kim has been reading and re-reading me since 1988.
|by Anonymous||reply 163||03/10/2019|
I'm the turkey baster.
|by Anonymous||reply 164||03/10/2019|
We're Sharon and Jess. We've been arguing all afternoon about who gets to be the first to take this out on its initial run.
|by Anonymous||reply 165||03/10/2019|
I'm the vagina incense burner on the nightstand.
|by Anonymous||reply 166||03/10/2019|
I'm the Katherine Moennig fantasy they both hide.
|by Anonymous||reply 167||03/10/2019|
I'm Audre Lorde and I approve this evening at home.
|by Anonymous||reply 168||03/11/2019|
I'm Kim's compost bin made from reclaimed pallet wood.
|by Anonymous||reply 169||03/11/2019|
I'm the feather down vest Kim will be using as a pillow tonight while she sleeps on the couch. Kris will not give her a pillow from one of the upstairs bedrooms. Plus Kris has put up the pet gate at the top of the stairs. There will be no sneaking into the guest room.
|by Anonymous||reply 170||03/11/2019|
I’m Kris’ dirty used vibrator stuffed between the sofa cushions. She doesn’t know I’m here because she used me when she was drunk and passed out.
|by Anonymous||reply 171||03/11/2019|
I'm the moon cup that melted in the dishwasher even though I came with "hand wash only" instructions.
|by Anonymous||reply 172||03/11/2019|
I'm the massive dump Kris left in the toilet. She always forgets to flush me when she's reading Sports Illustrated on the crapper.
|by Anonymous||reply 173||03/11/2019|
R173, girls don't poo!
|by Anonymous||reply 174||03/12/2019|
I'm the weather-worn and faded rainbow flag limply hanging next to the front door.
|by Anonymous||reply 175||03/12/2019|
I’m the mosquito bite on top of the HRC tattoo that Kris is absentmindedly scratching. It’s better that the mosquito bit her there instead of the newly applied Taco Bell logo tattoo on the other calf.
|by Anonymous||reply 176||03/12/2019|
I'm the "Sorry We're Out Of Fucks" doormat on their front porch.
|by Anonymous||reply 177||03/12/2019|
What's Kate Moennig doing these days, btw? She looked like a user.
|by Anonymous||reply 178||03/12/2019|
Kris kept the doggy gate even though she brought kim's dalmatian puppy to the pound years ago.
|by Anonymous||reply 179||03/12/2019|
I'm the Cunt Coloring Book Kim gave Kris for Valentine's Day.
|by Anonymous||reply 180||03/13/2019|
r178 : she's been on Ray Donovan for years. Looking hot.
|by Anonymous||reply 181||03/13/2019|
I'm Kris singing in the shower the morning after "everybody's doing it doing it. picking their ass and chewing it chewing it" She knows it puts kym on edge.
|by Anonymous||reply 182||03/13/2019|
We’re the lawn chairs and cooler out by the porch! Pride season is coming up, and Kris & Kym can’t wait to pack us up into the Subaru Outlander and head down to the Asbury Park NJ Pride Festival, where Sophie B Hawkins will be performing on the main stage in the middle of a field. A blotchy, sunburned Kris will be about 7 Coors deep screaming along to “Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover” as Sophie looks out into the audience, locks eyes with a bleary, stumbling Kris and reevaluates her lot in life.
|by Anonymous||reply 183||03/13/2019|
I'm the first dance at the reception after Kris and Kim's commitment ceremony in 1994.
|by Anonymous||reply 184||03/14/2019|