Advice: What would you do?

Obviously, stop jumping to every time the old farts have a meltdown.

Sounds look me the geezers need to butch up.

Cut off all contact.

Reverse mortages are rip offs, right? I wonder if they got duped and conned into one?

Distance myself emotionally. Open a Roth IRA and start saving. Learn from their mistakes, don't buy into their emotional blackmail. Help out when it's reasonable, do not give in to unreasonable demands.

R3, not always. It very much depends.

Frau, Op. What makes you or your friend think that her parents owe her or her offspring any inheritance?

parents should leave money to their children. Parents should have children only if they can take care of them. including financially.

Your friend is an adult, correct OP/R7? If so, then the parents' financial responsibility is over with. Your friend should worry about her own money and providing for her children herself instead of expecting her parents, who are obviously retired and on a fixed income to do so.

Sorry, her inlaws.

Personally, I don't respond to people who always have some sort of drama. Even if they are family. In fact, I distance myself from these folk and let them find someone else to address their needs. As for expecting anyone to leave money to their kids or grandchildren, never assume that you'll get any inheritance. (And I don't get what R7 wrote.)

If parents are not going to leave their estate to their own children, I would not join or stay in a family like this. This is not normal and is trouble. This is not good.

Die in a grease fire, OP/R11.

This is a gay board, not for frau shit.

Op here, one more thing. I have meet these people. My friend is blindsided and I am shocked too. They drive Mercedes. I know for a fact they told me they brought them outright. It was more like bragging about how wealthy they were. But sadly, they leased them while on a limited income. Leased Mercedes, reversed mortgages, no money, what kind of monsters are these people?

It is pretty shocking.

You do realize that us gays have family too. I have found that the LGBT community have a more diverse perspective allowing them to give expert advice.

Cut. Off. All. Ties.

OP, an inheritance is a gift, not a guarantee. Yes, most emotionally and financially healthy parents do hope to leave their assets to their children, but not all parents are emotionally and/or financially healthy, are they?

You were a fool not to take your financial well-being into your own hands from early adulthood onward. No one else is responsible for paying your way through life. R4 is correct: start maxing out both your IRA and your 401(k) or 403(b), and put any extra savings into a brokerage account. And stop whining on our forum.

My mother told my brother and I that we were on our own at 18. And we liked that.

Cut off all the drama is good advice. I think ensuring that the children love school and can ace university and grad school. A happy home, lots of reading, a good learning environment. No yelling and screaming, just happy rational thinking and speaking, lots of science. Lots of support.

Also, these kids need to be on family planning through grad school.

Realize that they have to cope with and overcome a lot, and in a horrible economy.

If their are a lot of nutters on your in law side, you have to insulate your kids from it all. Make sure you surround your kids with good and smart people. Make friends with the science teachers. Find a science club. These things. You need to set up your kids to succeed. You don't have the family or money to do this, so you have to do it socially, and through their schools.

Also, Magnet Schools. Public Schools that focus on kids with university minded parents.

Wealth in this country has always been built on inheritance. It's one of the ways that the past discrimination, like the Jim Crow laws, hurt black people in this country. When each generation has to start from zero, it's really hard to be socially mobile, something that America was built on. That loss of inter-generational transfer of wealth for anyone other than the super-wealthy is why the upcoming generations are doing worse and worse in comparison to previous generations.

You can't expect an inheritance for any number of reasons but inheriting something was more the norm in the past than it is nowadays. These reverse mortgages are going to surprise the next generation. We are going to see the entire accumulated wealth of the older generation, mostly the Boomers right now, transferred to the banking industry upon their deaths instead of to their children and grandchildren. The consequences of that will reverberate throughout society and for generations to come. Reverse mortgages should be illegal and there should be more help available to old people so they don't have to depend on these usurious bank frauds to keep from eating cat food or dying in abject poverty due to declining health.

R20, OP is a troll who has posted nearly half the replies in this thread, including talking to herself at R18 and R19.

However, you deserve W&W for that insightful and passionate response.

R16, What does being emotionally healthy have to do with leaving assets to their children?

You should do nothing, OP! These people aren't your relatives, and this is none of your business.

Just dont loan money to your shocked friend. She doesnt sound like a great risk, if she was counting on that inheritance.

Are the commenters here joking? I’m disturbed to read that so many people apparently feel like children should only take care of their parents in expectation of receiving a financial windfall upon their deaths. If your familial relationships are only financial relationships, then you may as well be a Trump.

R24 most of the replies on this thread are from the o p.

Is the op serious? I mean is it somehow your business what these people did with their house? They should have told you right away but it is still none of your business.

Most people never get a dime from their parents or grandparents. Most Americans are poor.

These people are monsters because they drive a mercedes and have a reverse mortgage? Mary, wtf is wrong with you- it's their life, and they can choose to mortgage THEIR property... omg such drama over THEIR lives.

This thread reads like a joke. A bad one.

If you do not want to take care of your children for your entire life, just don't have children. Who the fuck kicks their kids out by 18? How vile are people?