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Let's pretend we're items found in a Dolly Parton song

I'll be the state of Tennessee

by Anonymousreply 165March 31, 2019 5:37 PM

I"m a red-headed, man-stealing hussy.

by Anonymousreply 1February 28, 2019 5:14 PM

I'm hard candy.

by Anonymousreply 2February 28, 2019 5:17 PM

I'm a butterfly.

by Anonymousreply 3February 28, 2019 5:19 PM

I am "I," and I will always love you.

by Anonymousreply 4February 28, 2019 5:21 PM

I'm a coat of many colors

by Anonymousreply 5February 28, 2019 5:22 PM

I'm Little Andy

by Anonymousreply 6February 28, 2019 5:23 PM

I'm an island

by Anonymousreply 7February 28, 2019 5:24 PM

I’m her man.

by Anonymousreply 8February 28, 2019 5:26 PM

I'm more kitsch than a dozen roadside trailer parks.

by Anonymousreply 9February 28, 2019 5:26 PM

I'm the fingernails she used to compose "9to5"

by Anonymousreply 10February 28, 2019 5:29 PM

I'm money. There's never much of me, but there's always plenty of love to make up for it.

by Anonymousreply 11February 28, 2019 5:33 PM

R11 I'd rather be the money she has made from writing about not having money.

by Anonymousreply 12February 28, 2019 5:41 PM

I'm the ethereal voices of Emmylou and pre-Parkinson's Linda adding a bit of harmony all wrapped up in gingham and lace.

by Anonymousreply 13February 28, 2019 5:44 PM

I’m the cup of ambition.

by Anonymousreply 14February 28, 2019 6:10 PM

I’m Jolene. My voice is like summer rain.

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by Anonymousreply 15February 28, 2019 6:15 PM

I'm a lady mule skinner.

by Anonymousreply 16February 28, 2019 6:19 PM

I'm a body, looking better than I have a right to.

by Anonymousreply 17February 28, 2019 6:29 PM

Look , all DLers are a cup of ambition. Stupidest item ever in a song.

by Anonymousreply 18February 28, 2019 6:40 PM

I'm a bargain store.

by Anonymousreply 19February 28, 2019 7:21 PM

I'm Bittersweet memories

by Anonymousreply 20February 28, 2019 7:35 PM

I'm a banjo and a jug of applejack.

by Anonymousreply 21February 28, 2019 7:46 PM

I'm Dolly's musical quasi flirting and slightly naughty ad libs with Kenny, Vince and nearly every male duet partner...except for Porter. Their bickering during the fade outs was real.

by Anonymousreply 22February 28, 2019 7:58 PM

[quote]except for Porter. Their bickering during the fade outs was real.

Closet dykes can be nasty.

by Anonymousreply 23February 28, 2019 8:08 PM

I am a child.

And I have never survived to the end of a Dolly Parton song.

by Anonymousreply 24February 28, 2019 8:30 PM

This was a BORING thread. Shit!

by Anonymousreply 25February 28, 2019 9:08 PM

I’ll be the heartache.

by Anonymousreply 26February 28, 2019 9:28 PM

I'm flars otherwise known as flowers.

by Anonymousreply 27February 28, 2019 9:29 PM

I’m the yellow dress

by Anonymousreply 28February 28, 2019 9:30 PM

I'm an old flame holding a candle.

by Anonymousreply 29February 28, 2019 9:31 PM

I’m the stream in which Dolly and Kenny are islands. I’m also the Kenny Rogers Roasters that made him as big as one.

by Anonymousreply 30February 28, 2019 9:37 PM

I’m the boss who’s out to get her.

by Anonymousreply 31February 28, 2019 9:49 PM

I'm the pen of Donna Summer, writing Dolly that great divorce ballad that Dolly wish she'd written herself.

by Anonymousreply 32February 28, 2019 9:51 PM

I'm "Painted on Jeans"

by Anonymousreply 33February 28, 2019 9:54 PM

I'm "dinner on the ground".

Who needs plates when you're going to eat raw coon with your bare hands?

by Anonymousreply 34February 28, 2019 9:58 PM

R34 That is not what dinner on the ground means. The line is "Go to church on Sunday with dinner on the ground." It just means a church wide picnic held after Sunday morning services. Basically, an outdoor church pot-luck.

by Anonymousreply 35February 28, 2019 10:02 PM

I'm a Frederick's of Hollywood catalog, carelessly left lying around for eight year old Dolly to see and become corrupted for life.

by Anonymousreply 36February 28, 2019 10:04 PM

I’m the man in the high-heeled boots and the painted-on jeans. I’m decked out like a cowgirl’s dream, but I’m frustratingly indifferent to Dolly. She thinks it’s because I’ve got a mean streak a half a mile wide, but really its because I’m hoping to get plowed by a couple of cowboys in this honky took bathroom before the night is through. And that, Dolly, is why I came in here lookin’ like this.

by Anonymousreply 37February 28, 2019 10:06 PM

r35, I like my way better, churchfrau.

by Anonymousreply 38February 28, 2019 10:07 PM

I'm the hands that better keep off of the potential new boyfriend.

by Anonymousreply 39February 28, 2019 10:08 PM

I'm the trans lady in "Travelin' Through" whom Dolly doesn't judge.

by Anonymousreply 40February 28, 2019 10:09 PM

I'm the amber sunset glow, and I've died.

by Anonymousreply 41February 28, 2019 10:11 PM

OP is the lice she goes after with a fine tooth comb.

by Anonymousreply 42February 28, 2019 10:23 PM

I'm the crazy lady Dolly called "Mountain Angel." I'm so far gone, I run around the Tennessee hills wearing "not a stitch!"

by Anonymousreply 43February 28, 2019 10:30 PM

I'm a no good so-and-so

by Anonymousreply 44February 28, 2019 10:34 PM

I'm the code word for Judy Ogle's squirrel covers.

by Anonymousreply 45February 28, 2019 10:51 PM

I'm mumbo-jumbo-jive.

by Anonymousreply 46February 28, 2019 10:54 PM

I’m the pair of false eyelashes and a tube of cheap lipstick., a pair of worn out high-heel shoes and a dress—doesn’t fit.

by Anonymousreply 47March 1, 2019 12:14 AM

I'm lookin' better than a body has a right to

by Anonymousreply 48March 1, 2019 12:53 AM

I'm a pre-teen couple making out on a porch swing

by Anonymousreply 49March 1, 2019 3:29 AM

I'm a traveling salesman who was hoping for a mother-daughter three-way, but only got to boink each of 'em separately.

by Anonymousreply 50March 1, 2019 3:34 AM

I’m the firkd nearby.

by Anonymousreply 51March 1, 2019 3:39 AM

^field. I’m where the crickets sing

by Anonymousreply 52March 1, 2019 3:41 AM

I am the pathos that I was able to wring out of I Will Always Love You that Dolly couldn’t even imagine until I came along.

by Anonymousreply 53March 1, 2019 3:56 AM

I'm a broken heart with some missing parts.

by Anonymousreply 54March 1, 2019 1:01 PM

I'm words that wouldn't rhyme, were it not for Dolly's Southern accent, e.g. aint and can't (pronounced cayn't), etc.

by Anonymousreply 55March 1, 2019 1:51 PM

I'm the "Lyingest Lying Liar" T-shirt r54 threw on the floor before she sat down and typed her lies.

by Anonymousreply 56March 1, 2019 1:58 PM

I'm the cologne that cheating Dolly can't wear when she's with her married boyfriend.

by Anonymousreply 57March 1, 2019 2:34 PM

I'm the lightning that didn't strike twice, when Dolly and Kenny's second duet conked out on the charts.

by Anonymousreply 58March 1, 2019 2:52 PM

I'm the beauty beyond compare with flaming locks of auburn hair, wth ivory skin and eyes of emerald green...

I am Jolene!

by Anonymousreply 59March 1, 2019 3:15 PM

I'm the Secretary of the Harper Valley P.T.A., here to report that Mrs. Johnson is wearin' her dresses way too high. She's also been drinkin' and a runnin' round with men and goin' wild!

by Anonymousreply 60March 1, 2019 3:23 PM

I'm Dolly's early, proto-feminist sensibilities that resulted in strong, independent women songs like "Just Because I'm a Woman" "Just the Way I Am", and "Don't Let it Trouble Your Mind".

by Anonymousreply 61March 1, 2019 3:27 PM

I’m Little Tiny Tassletop. Dolly’s first song was about me.

by Anonymousreply 62March 1, 2019 3:43 PM

I'm the light of the moon glow.

by Anonymousreply 63March 1, 2019 4:29 PM

I'm hot as a pistol.

by Anonymousreply 64March 1, 2019 4:32 PM

Did Dolly write "Harper Valley PTA" for Jeannie C. Riley?

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by Anonymousreply 65March 1, 2019 4:47 PM

R65 it "Harper Valley" was written by the great Tom T. Hall.

by Anonymousreply 66March 1, 2019 4:55 PM

I'm a wildflower, and I don't care where I grow.

by Anonymousreply 67March 1, 2019 5:08 PM

I'm the publishing rights that Dolly will never let go of.

by Anonymousreply 68March 1, 2019 5:20 PM

R65 Yes it was written by Tom T. Hall and covered by many, my favorite being Dolly's.

Sidebar: Tammy Faye Bakker recorded a protest song to the tune of "Harper Valley PTA" in retaliation to the scandal in which she and husband Jim Bakker were involved in the late 1980s.

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by Anonymousreply 69March 1, 2019 5:32 PM

I'M TWO DOORS DOWN.

by Anonymousreply 70March 1, 2019 5:36 PM

I'm the altered lyrics to Dolly's cover of the Petula Clark classic "Downtown", presumably because producers figured most country fans wouldn't know what a "gentle Bossa Nova" is.

by Anonymousreply 71March 1, 2019 7:47 PM

I'm Daddy's moonshine still. I was good for nothin' but to break Mama's heart and to tear our home apart and make our lives a livin' hell.

by Anonymousreply 72March 1, 2019 8:07 PM

I'm the irresistible synths and buoyant Cyndi Lapuer-ish production on "Think About Love", which should have made the song explode as a big pop hit, but it never really crossed over beyond the country charts.

by Anonymousreply 73March 1, 2019 8:11 PM

I'm Smokey Robinson, wondering why Dolly and I couldn't have pooled our considerable talents and come up with something a bit more substantial than the idiotic duet we recorded together.

by Anonymousreply 74March 1, 2019 8:16 PM

You may be exciting, R70, but I’m also two doors down where we’re having our OWN party.

by Anonymousreply 75March 1, 2019 8:25 PM

I'm a pissant country place, and I got nothin' dirty going on.

by Anonymousreply 76March 1, 2019 8:57 PM

I'm a rhinestone studded suit and cowgirl high heel boots.

by Anonymousreply 77March 1, 2019 9:35 PM

I'm the sad, lonely, "going nowhere fast" vibe of "Single Bars and Single Women"

by Anonymousreply 78March 1, 2019 9:56 PM

I'm an Eagle when I fly.

by Anonymousreply 79March 2, 2019 2:19 AM

I'm the city of Dover holding daddy captive until the stillbirth of his baby

by Anonymousreply 80March 3, 2019 8:57 PM

I'm islands in the stream.

by Anonymousreply 81March 3, 2019 9:00 PM

I'm Jolene's double thick mascara.

by Anonymousreply 82March 3, 2019 9:04 PM

I'm the light on Jeannie's headstone.

by Anonymousreply 83March 3, 2019 9:06 PM

"Hey Jolene, I'm a big ol' star now! Drop by my mansion one day so I can properly snatch you bald-headed!"

by Anonymousreply 84March 3, 2019 9:47 PM

I'm a lonesome call of a whippoorwill.

by Anonymousreply 85March 4, 2019 12:23 AM

I'm the country fan who discovered Collective Soul as result of Dolly's cover of "Shine".

by Anonymousreply 86March 4, 2019 12:26 AM

I'm just a few old memories.

by Anonymousreply 87March 4, 2019 12:26 AM

I’m “Mama.”

by Anonymousreply 88March 4, 2019 12:28 AM

I'm two doors down.

by Anonymousreply 89March 4, 2019 12:37 AM

I'm the LSD Robert Plant must have taken to have given thumbs up to Dolly's bizarre cover of "Stairway to Heaven"

by Anonymousreply 90March 4, 2019 12:40 AM

I'm the guy that came again.....and here I go

by Anonymousreply 91March 4, 2019 2:10 AM

I'm the kidney stones she and Kenny are passing.

by Anonymousreply 92March 4, 2019 5:17 AM

R89, meet R70 and R75.

by Anonymousreply 93March 4, 2019 1:23 PM

I'm great balls!

by Anonymousreply 94March 4, 2019 1:31 PM

R93, I'm two doors down. And two posts later.

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by Anonymousreply 95March 4, 2019 1:33 PM

I'm Jolene's eyes of emerald green.

by Anonymousreply 96March 4, 2019 1:43 PM

R96, meet R59.

Jesus I hate repeats on these types of threads.

by Anonymousreply 97March 4, 2019 1:46 PM

[quote]Jesus I hate repeats on these types of threads.

R97, I am Jolene's eyes of emerald green.

Jesus, I hate people who whine about repeats on list threads. They are my least favorite DLers of all. Worse than racists and homophobes. Not everyone has your memory, Jolene. Even fewer of us give a fuck whether someone already posted something. Get the fuck over yourself, Controlene. It's going to happen.

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by Anonymousreply 98March 4, 2019 2:01 PM

For r97, an object of true derision and hatred.

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by Anonymousreply 99March 4, 2019 2:02 PM

I’m all Dolly’s songs rolled into one big fat, inspiring package.

by Anonymousreply 100March 4, 2019 2:22 PM

Just to further piss off R97, I'm Jolene's eyes of emerald green.

by Anonymousreply 101March 4, 2019 2:44 PM

Here's one for r97.

You're not worth two.

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by Anonymousreply 102March 4, 2019 2:45 PM

Not in the same thread, at least.

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by Anonymousreply 103March 4, 2019 2:46 PM

What r97 wishes he looked like.

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by Anonymousreply 104March 4, 2019 2:47 PM

I am a bad seed that fell by the way.

by Anonymousreply 105March 4, 2019 9:40 PM

I"m creepy old man who tries to seduce Dolly in the apple orchard.

by Anonymousreply 106March 4, 2019 9:58 PM

R98 You are my folk hero. Well done.

by Anonymousreply 107March 4, 2019 11:11 PM

They let you dream just to watch 'em shatter

You're just a step on the boss-man's ladder

But you got dreams he'll never take away

You're in the same boat with a lotta your friends

Waitin' for the day your ship'll come in

An' the tide's gonna turn and it's all gonna *roll* your way!

I am workin' 9 to 5, honey!

by Anonymousreply 108March 4, 2019 11:20 PM

I'm a woman's life that is likened to a bargain store.

This bargain store is open. COME INSIDE!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 109March 5, 2019 2:03 AM

I'm a box of Raisinettes and a red velvet theatre seat.

by Anonymousreply 110March 8, 2019 1:16 AM

I'm the Blue Ridge Mountains Boy.

by Anonymousreply 111March 8, 2019 1:19 AM

I'm a twenty acre farm with a shacky house and barn.

by Anonymousreply 112March 8, 2019 1:19 AM

I'm a tear-stained goodbye note.

by Anonymousreply 113March 8, 2019 1:20 AM

I'm the lonely coming down.

by Anonymousreply 114March 8, 2019 1:23 AM

I'm the violin Dolly played when her gal pal was complainin' about her life....

by Anonymousreply 115March 8, 2019 1:31 AM

I'm Joshua!

by Anonymousreply 116March 8, 2019 1:35 AM

I'm The Star Of The Show, and we sang a love song the day that we met. But if I don't star in your show, well I'm STILL a star and I can still grow.

R58 I love "Real Love"...not many others did at the time.

This thread would have been better had it been Let's Be The Worn Out Boob Jokes Dolly Parton Still Uses In Interview After Interview...In that I would have been Shock & Awe.

by Anonymousreply 117March 8, 2019 1:41 AM

R117, I'm "I don't know if I'm supportin' them or they're supportin' me."

by Anonymousreply 118March 8, 2019 1:54 AM

I'll be a new thread for an old spool.

by Anonymousreply 119March 8, 2019 2:13 AM

I'm laughin' and drinkin' and havin' a party.

by Anonymousreply 120March 8, 2019 2:29 AM

I'm Dr. Robert F. Thomas

by Anonymousreply 121March 8, 2019 2:35 AM

I’m the White Limozeen.

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by Anonymousreply 122March 8, 2019 2:36 AM

I'm a heart shaped locket.

by Anonymousreply 123March 8, 2019 2:47 AM

I'm some hard candy.

by Anonymousreply 124March 8, 2019 3:00 AM

I'm the gingerbread. Dolly ain't got none of me, so Sandy and Little Andy DIED.

by Anonymousreply 125March 8, 2019 5:53 AM

I'm Jolene's emerald eyes, just daring that "See" queen to complain about me.

by Anonymousreply 126March 8, 2019 8:09 AM

I"m a greasy spoon cafe.

by Anonymousreply 127March 8, 2019 7:26 PM

I'm the sweet baby Jesus.

by Anonymousreply 128March 12, 2019 12:30 AM

I'm what baby will be.

by Anonymousreply 129March 12, 2019 12:51 AM

I'm some guy's little finger with Dolly's heart wrapped around it.

by Anonymousreply 130March 12, 2019 5:56 AM

I’m an early 90s Whitney Houston being pitched I Will Always Love You over the phone by Kevin Costner as my girlfriend Robin spells out Dolly Parton has big titties with her tongue on my clit. Kevin takes my Oh God Yes, Yes Baby as my agreement to record the song, so I have to record it. It turns out to be the biggest hit of my career and the song I play on repeat with Robin and her tongue leave me a decade later

by Anonymousreply 131March 12, 2019 6:07 AM

[quote]Take that, Helen Reddy!

I got to join Jane and Lily at the Women’s March, so there!

by Anonymousreply 132March 12, 2019 2:42 PM

I'm jolene!

by Anonymousreply 133March 12, 2019 3:57 PM

I'm the red and white polka dotted blouse, knotted at the waist, and rhinestone-encrusted denim bell bottoms from the cover of the HERE YOU COME AGAIN album, which was Dolly's version of a Chanel suit.

by Anonymousreply 134March 12, 2019 10:07 PM

I’m the 9 to 5 job that we normal folks have to work.

by Anonymousreply 135March 12, 2019 10:28 PM

We are the mammaries that won’t be forgotten

by Anonymousreply 136March 12, 2019 10:30 PM

Thanks for the mammaries

by Anonymousreply 137March 12, 2019 10:33 PM

I am the Elite wigs. Sweet Lord, the wigs!

by Anonymousreply 138March 12, 2019 10:42 PM

I'm the mule.

by Anonymousreply 139March 12, 2019 10:50 PM

I'm a fine toothed comb.

by Anonymousreply 140March 12, 2019 10:53 PM

I'm an eagle when it flies

by Anonymousreply 141March 12, 2019 11:04 PM

I'm the first verse of the original version of "Two Doors Down" ("lying across my lonely bed in my lonely ol' apartment..") which was deleted from Dolly's rerecordong, leaving listeners to wonder why Dolly was so depressed. Did she just misplase her Zoloft?

by Anonymousreply 142March 13, 2019 3:46 AM

I’m her Dad’s sperm that created the beautiful, Dolly.

by Anonymousreply 143March 13, 2019 4:09 AM

I'm Daddy's workin' boots, and Mama's old black kettle.

by Anonymousreply 144March 13, 2019 5:21 AM

I'm the second door down.

by Anonymousreply 145March 13, 2019 5:28 AM

I'm the sexist asshole who thinks Dolly's mistakes are worse than his just because she's a woman.

by Anonymousreply 146March 13, 2019 6:24 AM

I'm Joshua, who's probably living alone in a shack by the railroad tracks for a reason. (I'm thinking alcoholism, schizophrenia, and a whole plethora of other mental health issues.)

by Anonymousreply 147March 14, 2019 3:13 PM

I'm Dolly, and I'll just break in here to say:

@DollyParton

Whenever I catch myself getting too nostalgic, well I just think about how heavy the wigs used to be!

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by Anonymousreply 148March 24, 2019 3:10 AM

I came in here looking like that

by Anonymousreply 149March 24, 2019 3:16 AM

I'm the mirror. Where Beauty Lives In Memory.

by Anonymousreply 150March 24, 2019 3:19 AM

I'm a golden ray of sunlight, a silver drop of dew, a soft, white floating cloud ailing cross the sky of blue, a yellow dandelion, a retty evergreen, and some red and orange flowers, growing wild along the stream.

by Anonymousreply 151March 24, 2019 3:33 AM

I'm Glenn Campbell laughing with Dolly about how nobody ever figured out I was singing all her old songs.

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by Anonymousreply 152March 24, 2019 3:54 AM

I’m your old flame that comes back to Haunt your new relationship.

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by Anonymousreply 153March 24, 2019 3:54 AM

I'm the surprisingly honest depiction of female sexuality stated politely and discreetly enough to sneak past the gatekeepers at country radio in 1972 in "Touch Your Woman"

by Anonymousreply 154March 24, 2019 6:45 PM

And I'm those same "gate keepers", three years later, reading all kinds of supposedly inappropriate implications in the lyrics of "The Bargain Store"

by Anonymousreply 155March 24, 2019 6:49 PM

I’m the patches on her britches.

by Anonymousreply 156March 24, 2019 8:01 PM

I'm candy wine (whatever the hell that is) which keeps one equally high as sweet summer loving.

by Anonymousreply 157March 25, 2019 2:24 AM

I'm promises that will never be.

by Anonymousreply 158March 25, 2019 1:53 PM

Why r149? Just why. That’s all I want to know.

I’ve seen you. You could stop traffic in a gunny sack!

by Anonymousreply 159March 26, 2019 11:24 AM

I'm the sweet tea being sipped while a-swingin' on the front porch while the crickets are a-chirping and the katydids are a-singing.

by Anonymousreply 160March 28, 2019 5:00 AM

I'm the clairvoyant baby the county took, cause my mama wasn't right in mind.

Just because a body's different Well, that don't make 'em mad Well, they've crucified a many For the special gifts they've had

by Anonymousreply 161March 28, 2019 5:11 AM

I'm the weird blugrassy cover of the Beatles' "Help", that was actually better than you thought it was going to be.

by Anonymousreply 162March 31, 2019 4:33 PM

I'm the country boy who married last October, after my last sweetheart ran off to New Orleans to work as a call girl.

by Anonymousreply 163March 31, 2019 4:35 PM

I'm the late John Denver, listening to "Early Morning Breeze" and thinking I could have written that song.

by Anonymousreply 164March 31, 2019 4:38 PM

I'm not the Dalai Lama.

by Anonymousreply 165March 31, 2019 5:37 PM
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