What naughty things did you do as a child?

Every post you make has the word “vile” in it.

Anal

It applies to many things.

Every school grade had a "Miss Priss Priss" who stuck her nose up in the air and acted like she was better than anybody else. They pretended to have manners and to be courteous, but there was a hint of the "bad seed" Rhoda behind their sparking smile. Nellie Olsen was "Little Mary Sunshine" in comparison to these sociopaths in skirts.

Picked on people who used the word "naughty."

What pure prissitude motivates someone who makes this word a regular part of her vocabulary? (You have to be a "her.")

OP is Rhoda.

[quote]Every school grade had a "Miss Priss Priss" who stuck her nose up in the air and acted like she was better than anybody else.

That definitely describes Charlotte. I seem to remember that her mother cut her hair short after that incident. I think she might have moved away after the school year because I didn’t see her anymore after that year.

Heartbreakingly, Stephen hated me after that. He called me psycho and threatened to beat me up. I was crushed, but I secretly hoped that he would beat me up. I still wanted his body on top of me.

R5, I am male.

I was on the grassy knoll.

You set a girl’s hair on fire and all that happened was that you were moved to a different class? Where did this happen? Belarus?

You should’ve been sent to a juvenile detention center.

I loved making ripping sounds with paper when girls in tight skirts or slacks would bend over. They would usually reach back to double check. Everybody laughed and they realize that they had been had.

I went to a catholic grade school, and for recess, the younger kids would play in the parking lot, but the 6th-8th graders would play up on a grass field that was a top of a hill behind the parking lot. There were a bunch of old tractor tires up there. We would occasionally roll them down the hill to hit the younger kids in the parking lot. Some of them would be playing ring around the rosie for example, and we'd nail them with a giant tire - they'd all run screaming.

running through fields of wheat

I blew every boy in my fourth-grade class. Oooooh, I was naughty!

There was one kid in our neighborhood that every one picked on - he was really short, frail and super nerdy. Once in a while when he would hang out with us, we would tie some fishing line to the back tire of his bike and then to a nearby tree. Then when we would all get on our bikes to go somewhere he would get yanked off his. Either that, or when we would play hide and go seek, and it was his turn to be it, we'd all just take off and leave and go play over someone else's house while he was counting down. He'd eventually track us down and start crying and screaming at us.

[quote]You set a girl’s hair on fire and all that happened was that you were moved to a different class? Where did this happen?

In his imagination. He's the same tedious troll who's always posting screeds about his evil sister and slutty niece.

I put a tack on teacher's chair. Somebody snitched on me.

[quote]You should’ve been sent to a juvenile detention center.

Oh, fuck you. It was just an innocent little row. Kids being kids. You sound like my sister, always going on about being molested. It was over 50 years ago! Get over it!

Besides, Charlotte was a little viper, like most females. They wiggle their tits and flash their beavers, and the men come running!

Truth be told, I’d do it again today!

[quote]It was over 50 years ago!

Yes, we realize that. 50 years ago is when you should have been sent to said juvenile detention center.

This OP is also the OP who wants to put a hit on his neighbor's cat for leaving pawprints on his car.

I called a funeral home from the school cafeteria:

ME: "I need to arrange a funeral for [MY TEACHER'S NAME]."

THEM: "And your name, ma'am?"

ME: "[MY TEACHER'S NAME]"

THEM: "Wait a minute. I thought that is who the funeral was for."

ME: "Yes, I hope to have it done by Saturday. Let me call you back when I'm sure."

Apparently, my teacher was the only person with her name in our town. And the police showed up at school that afternoon to check on her.

She did not see the humor in it.

That's because it wasn't funny, r21.

It was hilarious! I laughed my goddamn head off!

“I was an 8 year-old Misogynist!”

One summer while I was in Junior High, I blew a lot of the boys my age in my neighborhood.

I charged them 25 cents per bj and I always had change in my pocket.

I lasted about six weeks at a Catholic high school - gone before Halloween as a freshman. Me and my friend Patti used to launch the sugar cookies at lunch like Frisbee's so they'd explode when they hit the wall over the tables where the nuns sat and shower crumbs down on them and those huge headdress things they wore called habits.

After we got caught and punished we unplugged an ice cream freezer in the cafeteria on a Friday afternoon on our way home. They didn't notice until Monday. We never got caught for that but knew the place wasn't for us.

R25 ...and a smile on your face, one assumes...

“I was an angry, hairy, smelly butch lesbian!”

It really was strange that the little bitch Charlotte disappeared after that year. I’m sure she became a giant slut and got pregnant by a black man.

I tried to set my uncle’s house on fire

Maybe someone murdered her.

I wonder who.

R26 "And underneath her wimple, she had cookies in her hair...."

Not me, but some girl in my class got on the payphone in the hallway and dialed 911 and said to them "Help! I'm having a bad hair day!", then hung up. Needless to say the cops showed up and she got suspended. Not sure how they figured out it was her specifically. I guess someone ratter her out.

^^ ratted, sorry for the typo

I bet OP's friend Charlotte ratted her out

Charlotte was a WHORE.

She turned Stephen against me. He could have been my first love if it wasn’t for that little bitch.

Don't ask.

The first of many times my romantic interests were foiled by a female.

In high school, there was Dale. He was a gorgeous star football player and we were very much in love. Then there was Peggy. She inserted herself into our budding romance with her form-fitting sweaters and ample bosoms.

Dale was enamoured with her and I couldn’t understand why. One day, I espied them kissing under a 100-year old oak tree and was enraged.

I followed her home and then made nicey-nice. She had no idea I hated her. I asked about Dale. She gushed over him. I told her Dale wasn’t as nice as he seemed. He was all romantic in the beginning, but he had a wandering eye.

She evidently thought I was flirting. She beamed at me and said that she thought I wasn’t that kind of guy. I replied that I was a gentleman.

Suddenly, I had to know. What did Dale see in her? I knew he hadn’t had sex with her yet. When Peggy put her arms around my shoulders, I kissed her. Never so aroused, I tossed her onto the bed and ravished her! I knew Dale and I would never be intimate, but if he managed to bed Peggy, well...I’d been there first. So, in a way, we were intimate.

[quote] I espied them kissing under a 100-year old oak tree and was enraged.

Did you write this with a quill?

No, but I dialed your number just now with a pencil

R39 What did the 100-year old oak tree have to do with the story, it seemed integral in the plot and I kept waiting for it to come into play in the story?

Another one, though this was in high school in the very early 90's. My friend and I would buy this crap called "procaine" from GNC, which was basically powdered Novocaine, and mix it with crushed up caffeine tablets and sell it off to idiots at parties as coke. Though as karma works, I got screwed over as well with people selling me fake acid tabs - assholes just went to Kinko's and printed off a bunch of shit like teddy bears and smiley faces, cut them up, wrapped them in foil, and sold them off as hits.

R42

[quote] As I walked down the dewy glade, the 100-year old oak tree was a mere silhouette against the fiery glow of the slipping orb of sunlight. Against this dimming orange light, if you looked carefully, you could see Peggy's naked body swinging on a frayed rope, dangling from a sturdy, lower limb. By the time I reached my pink Pinto hatchback, the body had probably stopped this pendulumlike motion. But this was just a guess, as it was now quite dark.

Gotta agree with R1, OP.

In 6th grade , being the horny 11 year old that I was, I squeezed this boys crotch. Do you know what that same boy did to me. He squeezed my crotch. I did NOT mind him doing this.

In high school two friends and I got permission to go to the state library to do research, but really went to Denny's for breakfast and then to the circus where we yelled out about freeing the animals and stop animal abuse and were escorted off the premises.

That's not naughty, r47. That's good.

I set my 7th grade teachers house on fire.

In seventh grade. our surly French teacher became pregnant.

A friend had a machine that made embossed labels.

He printed out scores of them that said, "Miss Weinstein is Pregnant. Mr. Burke did it."

I helped him plaster the school with them.

Mr. Burke was our African American principal.

Miss Weinstein went on a rampage, trying to find out who had done it. She would stop class to interrogate people.

Claude Daigle.

Marry me, R11! I have visions of those truck tires mowing down the little kids like tenpins and I can't stop laughing.

What did she smell like OP?

Shit? Fish? Piss?