Let’s pretend we’re Jussie Smollett!!

I'm the salad that everyone forgets.

I'll be the word salad.

I'm the meat in the Nigerien brothers sandwich

I’ll be the blue cheese salad dressing packet from the salad that was left laying unused on Frank and Jussie’s kitchen counter!

I'll be the horribly tasteless, air filled Subway bread that everyone seems to forget is the real crime here.

I am all the jack asses who rush to defend this moron. Can't talk too much now cause our mouths are stuffed with crow.

I’m the letter from Subway offering a sponsorship.

I'm the inconsiderate surveillance camera pointed in the wrong direction

I'm his stretched out O ring that comes from being pounded on all fours by two Nigerians.

I’m the bitter disillusionment permeating from my pores as another hero turns out to have feet of clay.

I'm the Kamala Harris intern packing his things.

I’m the tears and regret.

I'm the magazine ruthlessly chopped up to make the crazy letter

I'm like, at first it was the thing of like, listen, if I tell the truth then that’s it because it’s the truth. Then it became a thing of, like, how can you doubt that? How can you not believe that? It’s the truth.

I'm the fictitious white dude who recognizes Smollett in the first place.

Im the actual hangmans noose that La Jussie will voluntarily be placing around his neck, before this is all over.

I'm the subconscious Narcissism. I'm the thing that dwarfed logic and reason. I'm the real fucking star of the faux outrage. ME BITCHES! It was all about ME!!!!

All my friends in school were white. I enjoyed being the exotic friend with a touch of oppression. And they enjoyed the rebellious cache of being seen with a minority.

I wore loose, floppy curls; white overalls; and said "Worrrd..." a lot.

I’m the big, black cock.

Muriel, enough with these gross threads. Have you actually read the stuff being typed in here? Jesus

Saving up the next trove of F&Fs..

I'm the small roles he'll have to beg and plead for in cheap made-for-TV movies and direct-to-DVD movies after Empire ends because nobody will want anything to do with him after this.

I'm one of his former English teachers, hanging my head in shame.

I'm the delightful hybrid of narcissistic and borderline personality disorders.

I'm Baron Munchausen.

I'm the general public, wondering who the hell this bloke is.

[quote]I’m the letter from Subway offering a sponsorship.

I’m Jared looking forward to my new cell mate.

I'm Jussie's mother who can't spell Jessie.

I'm the crafty beaver.

I'm the Subway server trying hard not to laugh as Jussie orders "Tuna"....

"I wanted to dry clothes!"

I'm Lizsha.

"Jooshie Shmollet."

I am the satisfied sum from those two hot guys..yummy...Gosh, I would love to have those handsome hunks in my bed!!!!!!

I'm Bea Arthur.

The cast and crew of Empire pay me to take a dump on the floor of Jussie's Dressing Room.

Can you ignorant bitches just stop using words you don’t understand, can’t spell or can’t use correctly?

1) cache - pronounced like cash

It’s a hiding place - or sometimes the stuff you put in the hiding place.

“I hope Peter doesn’t find the cache of amateur porn tapes I keep in the oven. Nah, he never cooks.”

2) caché - pronounced cah-SHAY

If you are not speaking French, you probably have no use for this word. It means hidden.

“La bague de mariage était cachée dans sa mussy lors du vol pour Addis-Abeba.”

3) cachet - if you’re American you can pronounce it ca-SHAY

It’s something intangible that attracts admiration, respect. It was also a popular cheap perfume back in the day.

“Ooh, you read the DataLounge? DataLoungers have cachet.”

“Oscar winner or not, Brie Larson lacks Hollywood cachet.”

“Cheryl splashed Cachet down there, to no avail.”

Uh-oh.

The smartest person in the room just logged In to DL.

I'm the grandiosity.

I'm the Netflix documentary about this case. In 2020 everyone will talk about me.

I'm the courier who no longer delivers EMPIRE scripts.

So what am I supposed to put in my cachet sachet, r34?

I'm the shirt the brothers ignore and never wear

I’m the bottle of pine sol that Jussie Smollett should have used on himself instead of bleach

I’m Tupac. Actually I am the gay Tupac.

Im Raven Symone, former BFF trying to figure out WTF is going on!

I'm the crazy conspiracy theorist who feels vindicated because of all this. I can be seen and heard saying "See? I told you crisis actors were real! Just look at the Jussie Smollett story."

I will try to figure out a way to use this incident as proof that the Sandy Hook Massacre, the Parkland shooting, and several other events were also fake in my next YouTube video.

R25 is right. I kept ignoring these threads cuz I thought it was just another weird DL fan frau obsession. The story is in insane though....now that I finally saw it on tv. I have (20?) threads to go read now. I still am early into this & cannot figure out wtf he was thinking or why he'd do this... but I have catching up to do.

I’m the scratch on Jussie’s cheek.

I'm his The Mighty Ducks co-star shaking my head in disbelief

R45 Come on over and dig in, because for the most part the Jussie threads are Frauen free. We had one show up last night, but she got shut down fast.

I was going to be Jussie's owie (I'm really some clotted ketchup) but r46 beat me to it.

Cashet sachet away.

I'm the pen being dragged furiously across multiple scripts in great haste, cutting Jusse's scenes

I’m Sara Gilbert and I’m offended they will not believe a gay black man. Well Sara, I’m a gay white man and I believe you are a moron.

I’m Cardi B and my Black History Month has been ruined.

I’m the projection

I’m Bayard Rustin doing twists and turns in my grave that would give Bart Conner a run for his money.

I'm R54 and I'm showing my age.

🏳️‍🌈👬🚫

I'm the LSA font who just discovered DL and as is as easy to recognize, and as laughably out of place, as a small-town tourist in Times Square. I'm here to school y'all about how Jussie is a civil rights hero and y'all racists better recognize.

I'm the phantom redneck the kooky neighbor saw.

Here he is! He can only be seen by the oppressed, the pure at heart, and those who "go hard against 45!" Cameras cannot capture him! Doubting his existence reveals you to be a deplorable! THE GHOST REDNECK!

I'm the acceptance speech for the Best Actor Oscar that Jussie has been rehearsing in a mirror since the day he mailed the poison-pen letter to himself.

I'd like to thank the members of the Academy . .

I'm the shady loitering redneck

I'm the viral video that never was. If only you had seen Jussie fight off two bodybuilders with one hand, you wouldn't be doubting him now!

I'm the embarrassed Empire writer who deleted his Twitter account after calling for the firing of our boo Rob

casting Nigerians as Trump supporters was a really bad idea.

I’m the magic of Clorox

R65 Thanks....now that song is going to be stuck in my head all day

I am the letter from Jared wondering when Jussie will be joining him.

Dammit foot Longs

I’m the denial. So much denial.

I'm his version of "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," sung the day they fire him from Empire.

I'll be the no-contest plea + rehab solution from 2007

I’m David W. Duclon, now retroactively relieved that short-lived 1990s sitcom of his I produced flopped. If they ever reboot [italic]Punky Brewster[/italic], which I also created, don’t expect a call to do a cameo.

I’m the inferiority complex

[quote] I’m the big, black cock.

Specifically Jussie's BBC

What about US?

R74 very nice but too bad it is attached to this weasel.

I don’t believe the size of his penis.

I'm Jussie Smollett proclaiming on his next GMA appearance, "I'm not just the gay Tupac, I'm also the gay Malcom X!"

R77 it isn’t his, it’s his brother’s

I am the "suddenly silent " black activists on Facebook and Twitter

I'm MAGA Country

[quote]I’m the bottle of pine sol that Jussie Smollett should have used on himself instead of bleach

Im the Pine Sol lady. Not even the power of Pine Sol can save Juicy now gurl!

I'm the felony disorderly contact charge.

I'm also the bond hearing scheduled for tomorrow at 1:30 PM

Disorderly CONDUCT. But contact might work too...

I’m Sara Gilbert and I’m an idiot.

I'm Tucker Carlson and I'll come up with something for my show.

I'm the total lack of shame.

I'm the horrible 90s sitcom that he starred in with his siblings.

Im the shit sandwich that Jussie will eventually have to eat when he mumbles out his apology and excuse.

I'm the post-conviction refusal to come clean and the insistence that "the real attackers are out there somewhere still," looking for people to throw nooses on for the love of Trump,