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Just watched the movie Closer, where Roberts plays a fading beauty competing against Portman

I used to like this movie but it has no replay value. It takes place over 4 years yet you never get that sense. Owen was the best of the 4, too bad his career went nowhere. Roberts was the weakest. Seemed she was phoning it in. Law was still hot and he and Natalie were ok as the leads. The fact his character could not get over Roberts sleeping with her ex was bogus. All I kept thinking about were Portman's and Roberts' banged up holes since Owen said he has 9 inches.

by Anonymousreply 54September 15, 2020 10:01 AM

I saw the Broadway production. The sexting scene was fun, but the rest so forgettable.

And the big reveal at the end was a snooze.

Never bothered with the movie after that.

by Anonymousreply 1February 16, 2019 12:43 PM

Was the reveal any different than the movie?

by Anonymousreply 2February 17, 2019 12:48 AM

The reveal in the play was (if I remember) that the young woman took her name from a cemetery monument and presumably had manufactured her whole personality and life story.

by Anonymousreply 3February 17, 2019 3:05 AM

That is what happened in the movie.

by Anonymousreply 4February 17, 2019 11:30 AM

I hated all of them. The clearest memory I have from this dud was when Clive Owen wanted to look at Portman's pussy when she was working in that dump of a strip club. She was wearing a cheap pink wig, and she showed it to him.

by Anonymousreply 5February 17, 2019 1:44 PM

R5 All lezzies spank off to that scene. Never been a hotter young beaver than Nat's.

by Anonymousreply 6February 17, 2019 2:01 PM

When did Clive Owen say he has 9”?

by Anonymousreply 7February 17, 2019 2:10 PM

R7 when he was online and calling himself The Sultan. Thought he was sexting JR but it was really JL.

by Anonymousreply 8February 17, 2019 2:19 PM

R8 that proves he was really gay. Jude Law too.

by Anonymousreply 9February 17, 2019 2:26 PM

[Quote] The clearest memory I have from this dud was when Clive Owen wanted to look at Portman's pussy when she was working in that dump of a strip club. She was wearing a cheap pink wig, and she showed it to him.

That's pretty much the only scene i can remember too. And then he asks for her name and she keeps giving him the same answer........??

by Anonymousreply 10February 17, 2019 9:55 PM

The Broadway cast was Natasha Richardson (JR role), Cairan Hinds (CO role), Rupert Graves (JL role), Anna Friel (NP role).

The stage cast was much better. The play itself is not so good, though, which is more obvious in the transfer to film.

by Anonymousreply 11February 17, 2019 10:45 PM

So weird how it is supposed to take place over 4 years yet nothing really changes in their appearance.

by Anonymousreply 12February 18, 2019 1:05 AM

Were any of the characters likable?

by Anonymousreply 13February 18, 2019 2:36 AM

all unlikeable. i watched only clive owen, didnt give a damn about the rest of the characters.

by Anonymousreply 14February 18, 2019 2:46 AM

Cate Blanchett was supposed to play Julia’s role, but she got pregnant

by Anonymousreply 15February 18, 2019 6:09 AM

I think Natalie Portman is wildly overrated. I wonder what happened to Clive Owen's career?

by Anonymousreply 16February 18, 2019 6:18 AM

R15 Yuck. I loathe Defecate Blandshit. Fucking cunt.

by Anonymousreply 17February 18, 2019 2:45 PM

I remember going to the cinema alone to see this one when I was 13. At first the woman at the ticket booth refused to sell me the ticket ("It's not a children's film, sweetheart!") but when I told her I'm on a mission to see as many Oscar-nominated movies before the ceremony as possible she softened up and sold me one. I kind of liked the film - it's very talky and pretentious, but the good performances manage to save it.

by Anonymousreply 18February 18, 2019 2:54 PM

Awwww.

by Anonymousreply 19February 22, 2019 3:49 PM

JUST TAKE MY PICTURE!

2004 was a big year for Natalie with Closer and Garden State. I remember when she and Clive both won Golden Globes for their performances, but ultimately lost to Cate Blanchett and Morgan Freeman respectively.

Anyone still listen to "The Blower's Daughter"?

by Anonymousreply 20February 22, 2019 4:26 PM

The Blower's Daughter is probably the worst song ever released. The worst voice ever and those bitches in the background are annoying as fuck.

by Anonymousreply 21February 22, 2019 4:54 PM

Total over hyped piece of shit with pretentious performances by everyone. Much like Roma is today.

by Anonymousreply 22February 22, 2019 4:59 PM

Big disappointment, huge waste of Mike Nichols's time and talent. Apparently he saw it as some sort of late companion piece to 'Carnal Knowledge.' I agree the sexting scene was droll, but given it was word-based that's faint praise.

I'll watch say 'Eyes Wide Shut' again sometimes, despite its similar disappointment, because Kubrick offers some sort of cinematic pleasure in each scene. 'Closer' though is a dud through and through.

by Anonymousreply 23February 22, 2019 5:27 PM

It was really bad. Especially Roberts and Law. Both were as boring as fuck.

by Anonymousreply 24February 23, 2019 1:39 AM

Totally unwatchable.

by Anonymousreply 25February 26, 2020 9:42 AM

[Quote] 2004 was a big year for Natalie with Closer and Garden State.

Talk about a vanity project for ZB 🙄

by Anonymousreply 26February 26, 2020 10:42 AM

[quote] JUST TAKE MY PICTURE!

Here you go.

The only question is whether Nat Portman had a convincing stripper body.

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by Anonymousreply 27September 10, 2020 6:39 AM

A side shot of Portman for Star Wars test shots. Note how the ass sticks out.

She has Matt Damon's ass, dammit. Look at that bubble in the profile shot!

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by Anonymousreply 28September 10, 2020 6:41 AM

The photographic evidence is real. That's Matt Damon's thick woman's ass on little Portman's body. Was this Mike Nichol's way of coming out? Did he pay Matt to dance? Is Matty wearing a blonde wig and lingerie, turning men on in a strip club?

This is worse than Portman claiming credit for Black Swan when a real ballerina did 90% of the dancing.

Why would a big star like Matt need to do this? Is it because he knows his ass is built for the stripper stage?!

Look at that womanly ass. That's Matt's ass, all the way.

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by Anonymousreply 29September 10, 2020 6:47 AM

That's a great cast, R11. Far more interesting choices than the movie.

by Anonymousreply 30September 10, 2020 7:03 AM

Yes. But those are actors. Mike Nichols and other Hollywood hacks cast from a casting list based on networking and Q Rating.

by Anonymousreply 31September 10, 2020 7:06 AM

I think Clive's problem is he doesn't have much range.

by Anonymousreply 32September 10, 2020 7:07 AM

CLOSER was originally a play. It sure felt like I was watching a play. In the play, Portman's character, Alice, dies in a car crash in New York, yet, at the film's end, she's walking down a crowded NYC street and being ogled by many men.

The song at the end is excruciating. It literally makes my ears bleed. The voice, the music, everything about that song is painful.

by Anonymousreply 33September 10, 2020 7:11 AM

Here's an excerpt from Portman on being terrorized by men, as a means of cashing in on MeToo Zeitgeist:

When you're a young woman in Hollywood, you're made aware of your sexuality at a very early age. It's something Natalie Portman knows all too well. In Portman's speech at the Women's March in Los Angeles, she talked about getting her first fan letter when she was 13, after starring in The Professional. It ended up being Portman's first experience with sexual harassment. As she explained the letter was a "rape" fantasy from an older man, but it didn't stop there. In reviews of The Professional, in which she teams up with a hitman to seek vengeance for her family, critics talked about her "budding breasts." A local radio station started a countdown until she would turn 18, "euphemistically the date that I would be legal to sleep with." ADVERTISEMENT

"I understood very quickly," Portman said, "even as a 13-year-old, that if I were to express myself sexually I would feel unsafe and that men would feel entitled to discuss and objectify my body to my great discomfort." To take back control of her body, Portman decided to take roles that strayed from any sexual content, not even kissing. She wore clothes that covered up her body both onscreen and off. She explained it was a way to "send my own message to the world that I'm someone worthy of safety and respect." She built a reputation that stressed how "bookish and serious" she was, which resulted in her earning a reputation for being "prudish, conservative, nerdy, serious." Of course, though, that didn't stop people from making "small comments about my body to more threatening deliberate statements," she said, it just "served to control my behavior through an environment of sexual terrorism."

*Good thing Natalie avoided sexualizing herself onscreen

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by Anonymousreply 34September 10, 2020 7:51 AM

Clive Owen was so smoldering hot back then. His body was near perfect and his dong intact. Wish he would appear more in erotic thriller.

by Anonymousreply 35September 10, 2020 7:52 AM

Get a load of Gertrude Snoddy @ r34!

by Anonymousreply 36September 10, 2020 8:56 AM

Say hi to Rose McGowan at R34, gurlzzzz.

by Anonymousreply 37September 10, 2020 8:59 AM

Get a load of Melania Trump, KKKlassy First Lady @ r34.

by Anonymousreply 38September 10, 2020 9:39 AM

R38, an example of an utterly witless dyke trying to be funny. It reads like incoherent nonsense that a 13-year old girl would write out on Instagram.

Of course.

by Anonymousreply 39September 10, 2020 7:23 PM

Or maybe R38 just had a stroke while typing. Either way, pathetic.

by Anonymousreply 40September 10, 2020 7:27 PM

Who has the better ass: McGowan or Portman?

McGowan in this post...

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by Anonymousreply 41September 10, 2020 7:29 PM

Portman.

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by Anonymousreply 42September 10, 2020 7:30 PM

McGowan.

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by Anonymousreply 43September 10, 2020 7:30 PM

Portman (with bonus Clive Owen!)

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by Anonymousreply 44September 10, 2020 7:34 PM

McGowan

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by Anonymousreply 45September 10, 2020 7:38 PM

I like how the asshole who jizzes himself slut shaming rape victims thinks "lesbian" is the ultimate insult.

I mean, I said "overcompensating for a tiny penis" as a joke but I guess it was a real thing.

by Anonymousreply 46September 12, 2020 4:18 AM

Clive Owen giving 9 inches of stiffness to Jude Law....now THAT would have been a movie

by Anonymousreply 47September 12, 2020 4:28 AM

Clive Owen oozed masculinity throughout the movie.

I saw it at a multiplex and snuck in to "Kinsey" afterwards.

by Anonymousreply 48September 12, 2020 6:54 AM

Admit it, you'd fuck me.

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by Anonymousreply 49September 12, 2020 3:00 PM

Clive and his wife.

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by Anonymousreply 50September 13, 2020 6:45 AM

R46, if having a small penis is such a problem, then what does it do to dykes psychologically to have no penis at all?

I asked you this question in another thread after you made the penis joke as some sort of defense of Amber Heard and her crew of man-hating grifter dykes. It's apparent that you can't follow your own logic to its logical conclusion: you have penis envy, judging by your obsession with dick references and the site you choose to share these feelings on.

I will admit that my cock shrivels each time I look at Io Tillet. You'd know this feeling, except you have nothing between your legs. Much like your ears, judging by your lack of wit @ R38.

by Anonymousreply 51September 15, 2020 9:51 AM

[quote] I like how the asshole who jizzes himself slut shaming rape victims thinks "lesbian" is the ultimate insult.

What rape victim are you referring to?

Oh. You believe that Natalie Portman making up stories about fan mail amounts to "rape". You're the definition of a psychotic lesbian, aka a misandrist: in your world if any woman gets any unwanted attention from a man, then that's somehow a "rape case". Thank you for confessing what a lunatic you are, dear.

This helps to explain the batshit replies you've provided @ R36, R38 (completely witless ranting) and R46 (consistently dull and illogical).

Keep the inanity coming, lunatic. You are beneath parody; another way of saying that you're a man-hating lesbian.

by Anonymousreply 52September 15, 2020 9:55 AM

r50, is that for real?

I just looked. It is real.

This woman always looked like she was bordering on fat. Get a load of those thick arms.

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by Anonymousreply 53September 15, 2020 9:59 AM

Another Portman ass shot.

This is from this year. Her ass is still thick.

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by Anonymousreply 54September 15, 2020 10:01 AM
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