Martha Stewart shows off her new basement storage-including a bucket marked 'enema kits'

yassss, kween.

Who the fuck would want a winter home in freezing cold Bedford, NY?

This woman is my inspiration.

I always suspected she was a bossy bottom. There's the proof.

so she's into anal. Who knew?

Martha got clean anal walls and she can take huge cock balls deep. Now picture that for the spank bank later tonight.

The label-making assistant can’t spell “specimen”...

I told you guys she was into bbc and anal, now we have proof.

I love how there is not one thing pertaining to her grandchildren in that write up. No bin labeled "grandkids toys" nothing. I adore Martha Stewart because she has never given a good God damn.

It's all about bossy bottom Martha. As it should be damnit!

She's aged wonderfully if you were to ask me. But, is she kinky with the enemas? What's really going on?

she uses enemas to lose weight

Dear Lord in Heaven!

I'm pretty sure she got addicted to enemas while in prison.

Her cows may get constipated once in a while

for the animals, you morons.

The close-up pic from Martha's blog. Head WILL roll for this

yikes. specimen collection stuff, too.

ew, martha.

Does she have a paid minion to perform the "specimen collection" procedure?

Does anyone really want to speculate about this? Ew ew ew.

The enema of my enema is my friend.

[quote]The 77-year-old shared images of the basement closet storage at her Winter Home in Bedford, New York,

Who the hell has a 'winter home' in New York? Rich people go to Florida or St Barts or some other warm place in the winter.

What "specimans" does Martha collect? Is she a stool fetishist?

brilliant, r19

I like her banana-yellow hair.

[Quote]Who the hell has a 'winter home' in New York? Rich people go to Florida or St Barts or some other warm place in the winter.

She probably has her Norman Rockwell type place for Thanksgiving and Xmas and then probably spends the rest of winter in your aforementioned warmer places.

"Martha Stewart couldn't be a bigger lesbian even if she did her whole show with a lady sitting on her face."

R20 - it's because her "farm" has many buildings - there is a "summer" house, the stables, the greenhouse, the "storage" shed (that is larger than the average home in the US, the equipment barn, the building for her fowl collection, and the building that houses two gigundo generators to power the whole place if she loses power. It's just a label for one of the structures on her 25 acres. She also owns large homes in Seal Harbor Maine and East Hampton, NY as well as 2 apartments in NYC.

R25 - I don't think so - remember Peter Bacanovic - the stock trader who was her "escort". It's pretty well documented the woman is a cougar - not sure what you call a septuagenarian cougar - but she's a whore darling.

I think Bacanovic was strictly a walker, r27.

Martha is 77. She is no stranger to home specimen collection. The enemas are just for fun, though.

She has a South African brand of tylenol.

No one could use this much stuff. This looks like the supplies for a studio or a photo shoot or something.

The Mail made it sound like the assistant was some kind of slave, that organizing a few bins was horrible labor. It's pretty easy work.

The selfish, greedy, anal retentive OCD bitch has too much money. She bought in bulk when she was under home detention because she couldn't leave the house. I guess she'll be looking for a new assistant now. Not surprised she has enemas, she's so full of shit.

Perhaps Martha needs some advice on how to deal with an incompetent assistant

[quote]it's because her "farm" has many buildings - there is a "summer" house, the stables, the greenhouse, the "storage" shed (that is larger than the average home in the US, the equipment barn, the building for her fowl collection, and the building that houses two gigundo generators to power the whole place if she loses power.

Is there a separate building for enemas?

A place for everything, and everything in its place.

Besides, who doesn't need a basket for their enema equipment?

Nobody needs to stockpile that much stuff. And it's not like this house is out in the wilderness either.

I would bet that most of this stuff is crap she’s gotten for free in the swag bags that stars get for showing up places. I have never see Martha with colored nails and she has always talked about how she doesn’t get them done because she gardens so much and they get ruined. Martha has always been the anti-Marie Kondo and definitely is the type to throw away something useful, probably a vestige of her humble beginnings.

*Not the type

That’s all a lot of shit stored in there. Nobody needs that many supplies.

She seems like a hoarder.

I am at work trying to stifle my laughter so hard I am part weeping, part wheezing. Just everything in this thread but most of all that this even happened.

I just want to keep tossing my salad.

She probably uses the enemas for weight control. That's such a "rich lady" thing to do.

I immediately noticed the misspelling of "specimen." Does that make me Queen of Datalounge?

When she lived in Westport just getting started local lore was that she would send her staff out to nearby purveyors (high end butchers, diaries, antique dealers, linen shops, etc) and they would basically raid the stores telling the shop owners to send her the bill and of course, they weren't paid. The items would be "used" for her "program". When they complained that they had't been paid, she would throw in their face they were getting free publicity. There are dozens of these types of stories - who knows if any of them are true but some of them came from people once or twice removed from her. There were some (not as many) equally flattering stories - she was at a book signing and a former catering customer came in (10-15 years after the event) and she remembered their name and what the event was and was quite gracious. The biggest takeaway from Martha is she managed to make home-keeping a one time billion dollar business. And when she had her early shows - whatever she was showing, she was able to do and demonstrate herself. It is was planting roses, she planted them. If it was painting a wicker chair, she painted the wicker chair.

Well organized harder. Nobody needs all those product in quantity. Plus they go off. And she has one foot in the grave. Nobody is ever going to use any of that shit. Why doesn't she give all that free shit away the day she gets it?

She's a hoarder.

Probably come from a lifetime of doing things up.

enema kits in swag bags, r37?

When you're old, you get constipated often. Hence JLC for that Activa.

Who knew MS was a prepper! If it all goes down I'll be sure to start walking due west, where I'll find a home filled with enough stockpiled pinecones and ribbons to keep me occupied for the rest of my lonely survivor life.

I almost wondered why Martha didn't just give all that surplus stuff away to friends and family, but then I remembered that Martha doesn't have any friends and she hates her family.

Maybe she could donate it all so the whole town of Bedford NY could have white teeth, smooth skin, shiny hair and clean, empty bowels.

[quote]Who knew MS was a prepper!

OMG is Martha the new Jim Jones?

She probably ends up having to throw away more of that stockpile then she uses.

Well, shit.

Aren't those containers inconvenient stacked like that? If she wanted something from the bottom one she needs to remove the top ones first. Well, her assistant.

Her assistant’s name is “Shqipe Berisha?” What kind of name is that??

Maybe there are a few typos? How do you pronounce Shqipe?

Apparently it’s Albanian.

R14, Uh, no. These are all her things.

I hope Siqipe is getting combat pay.

I wish Martha would post some of her douche recipes on her website. What do you think would be in them-- artisanal vinegar (emphasis on the -anal), organic, non-GMO rose hips?

Her BFF Snoop Dogg introduced her to Public Enema.

Always knew Martha was anal retentive.

She even has a small house only to store her basket collection. She is a high end hoarder...beautiful things and organized...but a ton of it.

Hoarder. Who needs a bid of each toiletry? that shit doesn't keep forever. Sun cream for example. 1 year maybe.

Martha is an insanely egotistic bitch. I watched her on the comedy roast of Bruce Willis and not for one instant did she stop mugging at/scrutinizing her ugly old face in the monitor. Why is the world the way it is? Because we fall for these fame and money whores and believe they are offering something valuable. We give them our money and acclaim. Suckers.

She’s not embarrassed.

She could assign a staff member to inventory and catalogue this stuff, then gradually donate it to charities like shelters for abused women, etc. within 6 months prior to its expiration dates. She'd make a good impression on the charities and the public, and would also be entitled to tax deductions for her donations.

This made me chuckle.

Pretty shameful. My Pinterest collection of home organizer porn is much disgraced by this amateur attempt, Martha.

She could sun dry the contents of her Limoges enema bowl and sell it as Martha Stewart curated manure

This reminds me of videos of Chris Watt’s basement and Shallamalangla’s obsessive compulsive behavior. Who copied who?

DL Queens whom do we like more, Martha or Ida?

I'm DEFINITELY on team Martha.

Ida Lupino?

R20- The NYT had an extensive article about Climate Change several months ago . It said that Buffalo New York would eventually have a climate similar to Arizona. I'm sure Bedford will have something akin to an Arizona climate too.

R20 summer and fall in Bedford are divine, though

Enemas. They’re a good thing.

R71, I had the same thought.