Nicholas Rock Johannsen On Why He Is Single

Is he part cat or something?

He’s single and staying that way because of those awful sideburns. Thread closed.

That thing may be young, rich, badass, heavily tattooed and educated, but handsome he is definitely not.

What exactly is this creature's claim to fame? Never heard of him, and I thank God for that.

A man that takes such care of his eyebrows could never be referred to as handsome

..I don't know her

Cos he’s fug. Those eyebrows my dears!

Plenty of guys are single, gay and straight. Sometimes it's okay, sometimes not. It is what it is. It's just kind of existing.

He looks like a baked potato with grill marks.

The picture explains why he is single

"Getting my shaved legs ready for fuck season."

"About to watch Boss Baby on my 85 inch TV on an otherwise rainy Friday night!"

There's a specific season for fucking?

This fucking guy... nice find OP I remember him.

An Absolutely Blinged Up Nicholas Rock Johannsen On His Way To Nobu Sushi in Malibu!

Who is he? An actor? A retired athlete?

"May not be the fanciest body wash out there but lately, i've been in love with this pear and aloe scented body wash by Dove. I loofah it allover my body even the bottoms of my feet and all between my asscrack. Makes me feel nice and fresh!"

"Love a nice ice cold Canada Dry Ginger Ale as our climate starts to warm up. Strangely, Ginger Ale makes my dick veinier I've noticed."

"Ladies! If your lazy, hairy ass boyfriend doesn't take care of his hygiene AND look and smell nice for you ALL the time, what does that say about YOU???!!! Get you a man whose big dick, waxed nutsac, armpits and asshole smells like coconut milk. That is all."

[quote]Who is he? An actor? A retired athlete?

He’s just a very bizarre wannabe/compulsive social media addict.

This scammer and hustler talks about putting cleaner up his ass crack. Please tell that princess that I can smell his asshole through the internet! That is how bad his asscrack sells.

She's the queen of TMI.

"If you're me, summertime in #socal simply means banging even more pussy and taking 2-3 showers a day to rinse off. That's why I just hit up my local Pottery Barn and bought this luxury extra large bath towel in my favorite shade of porcelain blue! It dries me off while pampering my smooth skin in an organic blend."

"Mondays don't suck when you wake up rich. (And a big thank you to my esthetician Pamela who drove from Studio City to my house in Irvine Cove on her day off yesterday to make sure my eyebrows are forever on point)"

"nut sac all smelling like fresh roses."

I wouldn't fuck that disgusting pig with someone else's cock.

It’s gotta be an act. Lol.

An Influencer for the taint & the coin purse?

Does this hideous delusional phaggo think sharing pictures of Walgreen's toiletries make hur an 'influencer?" Sadly laughbale. She has paunchy bloated drag queen face, and Zardoz hair.

This is fucking performance art, right? Where’s the art school kid following this jamook around with a camera and complete lack of self-awareness?

R23 Doesn't she mean mussy and puss-he? His own since the princess is most definitely a bottom.

But how did he get rich?

And why does he have Disney villain-ess eyebrows?

His BEARD!!!

You monsters, you maniacs... what have you done to his beard?!

I could not help but think of his similarity to Egg Fu from Wonder Woman comics back in the day. Except Egg Fu was more attractive.

Who is this?

He’s very quaint.

Googled him.

He's fat.

He's old. His beard is white. He dyes it.

He claims to own a casino in Las Vegas.

Probably an ex drug dealer.

It was nice of Nicholas Rock Johannsen to start a thread about himself on datalounge.

R38 You mean just like Ms Frankie Grande does?

People were talking about him on Twitter today, it took me the longest time to figure out that he claims to be straight.

Look at this shit!

Rich? His car in the videos isn't even a low level luxury car - the Armani Exchange tank, the christian audigier cap, the cholo eyebrows, living in Irvine. Maybe he's rich in his circle, but not LA rich.

As the old saying goes,"Fake it till you make it"

Wow, that Twitter thread is gold. Totally believable he pooped in his ex wife’s kitchen sink per court documents. They say his personal chef is actually his mother.😂

If he’s so rich why does he use such crap grooming products. This has to be a joke.

R45 I guess it's not a good idea to invite him over for dinner

Now that I've watched more of his videos, I'm definitely getting a Elliot Rodger vibe from him. The following creepy video shows him hanging out in the parking lot of Gold's Gym Venice Beach and making comments about people as they enter the gym.

Where is the story about shitting in his ex’s sink?

I love it when drug dealers are covered in cystic acne scars.

R49 From the Twitter thread linked above: "He was married to a woman who was previously Jeff Goldblum's fiance, but she cheated on him with an insurance agent once their pet grooming franchise started failing, so he broke into her house and shit in her sink. All of this info is available in actuals lawsuits." Here's the lawsuits (his real name according to the Twitter link is Aly Ashley Jash):

The pet grooming lawsuit:

The sink shittening:

So the "Rock's" real name is Ashley?

LOL

"In trying to figure out where his "money" comes from, I discovered that his parents tried to commit insurance fraud in the 80's after their furniture store suspiciously burned down. The Jash Family clearly rules."

The aforementioned Twitter thread about him. It's long but entertaining:

Excellent. Thank you r51, etc

I think we can safely assume now that his "personal chef" is his mom

OK, I have to say it...this guy is hot as fuck. I have pre cum in my shorts just looking at him.

Hi Ashley!

Well, he is wearing a v-neck caftan...

This thread has even more details

“Pat, I’d like to solve the puzzle please”

R51 sounds like a game of MadLibs.

Glad he tinted his truck windows so dark we can’t see his “balls getting motorboated” per r48’s video.

It seems like he disabled comments on his videos, such a shame.

Would you be surprised if I told you he was a Limp Bizkit fan?

The LadyKaKa7 YouTube account seems to be an old account of his

This is obviously before he swore off body hair

With the ex-wife

He’s so weird, wonder how she ended up with him.

I think I'm in love. I want his weird beard on my taint. We can ask his mom/personal chef for sushi after.

Go get him r71, he’s definitely available.