Are You A Gay Man With Mostly Straight Friends?

We have zero homosexual friends. Men (aka str8 guys) are are only friends. And they are real friends.

I am. straight guys are lower maintenance.

Yes, I am. I think it's just because I don't really care about my friends' sexualities and there's a higher chance that those you meet are straight.

Yeah. I made the greatest friendships of my life during high school and university when I was closeted and have kept them to this day now that I'm living as a mostly openly gay man. I've picked up a few gay buddies a long the way, but my closest friends remain my straight best friends from a while back.

A homosexual usually will not even speak to another homosexual unless she wants to have sex, either now or later. So they are like fish.

I generally gravitate toward straight males for friends. I came out to my entire fraternity and have never faced homophobia directly. I never understood why some gays only befriend women; I don't get along well with women despite trying.

Wow you guys are seriously delusional.

If most of your friends are straight, then that means you value straight people over gay people.

You have to ask yourself why that is.

My circle of friends went from 95% gay in my 20's to the inverse of 95% straight as I reach 60 - comprised of neighborhood friends, high school classmates and work colleagues from decades ago - no college friends strangely,

r7 is triggered!

Let's face it it's hard to stay friends with gay men when most are flaky as hell.

Yeah r7 it's not part of a conscious decision- my circle of friends just happen .. No quotas as to sex, color, or persuasion...

Most of my friends are straight, but my closets ones are gay. For the most part I find gay men irritating. immature and in an arrested state of development. The few gay friends I have are either lesbians or highly educated older men who don't adhere to the stereotypes. Too many gay men have made being gay the be all and end all of their existence. I identify more with my ethnic/cultural background much more so than my sexual orientation.

Meant to write closest, not closets.

R10 That pretty much sums it up.

Yes. Most of my friends are straight and bisexual men. Can't stand women or effeminate gays. There I said it.

R7 It's guys like you with your ghetto mentality that send me running away from the so called "community".

"[R7] It's guys like you with your ghetto mentality that send me running away from the so called "community".

Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. Or do. Who cares? I'm guessing you were nothing but a drain on our community in the first place.

I guess maybe we are better off without the straight-licking quisling types.

I bet some of you even make fun of Lindsey Graham. But you're basically him.

R17 It's fags like you that keep most gay men in the closet. Pathetic stupid stereotype.

Yes, there's more of them than of us.

"It's fags like you that keep most gay men in the closet. Pathetic stupid stereotype."

Well, I guess you were definitely triggered.

Yes, most of my friends are straight.

Why? Because most of the people I've encountered are straight. The majority of people on the planet are straight. It's as simple as that.

I know my reply runs counter to the intent of the thread (to bait people into talking about how much they hate fags and to congratulate themselves for how unfaggy they are, and it's been successful so far) but I'll go a little further.

One of my best friends is a really effeminate stereotypical gay guy, who is also my only gay friend. He is really funny (he was the class clown in college) and has been a great friend to me. Due to his job, he moved out of the country about a year ago, and he calls me all the time (at least once a week). When I was going through a tough time, he would pick up the tab at bars and restaurants and get Ubers for me. I'm extremely grateful for his friendship and, yeah, he's a "horrible, disgusting, effeminate fag."

95 percent of males are straight. I gravitate toward people with Similar values and interests, and it just so happens I have bonded with straight dudes. I don’t make friends based on sexual orientation

95% of males are str8??

R23, that is statistical consensus of modern research, if not somewhat higher

R15, I didn't realize there are so many triggered 'gays' who can't stand effeminate men. Why do you interact with them then? Oh, you mean you can't stand to see them off hear them? So, that effeminate man might be the best loyal, sweetest friend but you can't get past how they look of sound? Seems like you are doing the effeminate guy a huge favor by not interacting with them.

You don't like effeminacy in men or women, and you think you are ok. You don't have issues. You have the whole subscription. Good luck to you!.

All my friends are straight, I had four gay guys as friends and they all ended up being flaky jerks that couldn't be depended on or trusted at all.

[quote] there's a higher chance that those you meet are straight.

This right here. Most people you are going to meet are straight so statistically speaking you will have more straight male friends than gay male friends.

[quote] I had four gay guys as friends and they all ended up being flaky jerks that couldn't be depended on or trusted at all

Probably because that's the type of person you are.

The sexuality of those flaky friends is [bold]irrelevant[/bold], the type of person you gravitate towards is telling though...

Please fuck off R28, Oh and I wasn't the only person they screwed over so kindly take your judgments and your assumptions and shove them up your no doubt blasted ass I'm sure you'll have no problem getting them up there.

[quote]Oh and I wasn't the only person they screwed over so kindly take your judgments

Then, those people also had your problem R26.

I wasn't wrong. You come out very clearly.

Yes, It couldn't possibly their fault R30 I'm sure you have plenty of gay friends that no longer talk to you for the exact same reason.

I don't have friends these days but they used to all be straight.

I was in the closet in my teens and 20s, so all of my friends are straight.

I have one gay male Friend who is a basketball player. Otherwise, alll straight male friends

This thread has reminded me I don't have friends.

I've always been like this. I have gay friends but really get along better with straight men socially. Especially in work environments.

gay men cant have straight male friends as all straight men hate gay men

straight men are gay hating by definition

I love my straight bros, including my roommate.

I hate straight men, I wish we could gas them to death

That’s evil r40. Watch yourself

R41, straight men are responsible for most of the evils and tragedies in this world, so it makes sense that we should get rid of all of them for the common good. theyre irredeemable

Get help r42.

Most of my friends are straight. I'd like to have more gay friends, because I'm single. The more gay men you know, I believe, will increase my chances of meeting someone through them. I guess I could rely on my straight friends to introduce me to someone...

From my experience of gay dating APPs, R12 makes a valid point:

[quote] For the most part I find gay men irritating. immature and in an arrested state of development.

I'm in my mid-50s. I'm interested in guys around my age. Most guys my age on these apps act as if they are 18. They want to know straight off the bat what's the size of my cock, and if I'm a top or bottom. Whatever happened to "How do you do?"

r42, good luck when you find out what they think about you, that youre a "faggot", youre a traitor assimilationist

R45, you’re stuck in 1967, man. Sad...,

r46, my straight therapist told me that all straight men secretly hate gay men, then I stabbed him and almost killed him so I was in a psychiatric hospital for a year, now Im speaking truth and unmasking our enemies

My ex and I decided we'd be better off as friends but apparently to him being friends meant trying to talk me into a three-way with him and his new boyfriend every time we hung out.

Ummm ok

I wish Hitler had murdered millions of straight men instead of Jews, he wouldve been a hero, I guess Ill have to do it myself

Yeah, pretty much. Why? Because I discovered early on that the most judgemental men out there are gay men. Try being less than stellar-looking and fat when you're in your late teens, OP. My straight friends didn't give a shit.

True

straight men are a piece of shit, gay men are perfect

Yes, most of my friends are straight. I just know more of them. And, because of my age, the gay guys with whom I was friends back when I was younger have pretty much all died. One of my friends (straight, married guy) was asking why I had almost no gay friends my own age. When I explained the effect of AIDS on my generation, he was stunned. His eyes got moist, and he changed the subject.

I have a lot of str8 women friends. A few str8 male friends, but I value my gay male friends over all of them. But I've never been into the gay scene in any way and my gay friends aren't either.

But for some reason I can not fathom is why I fit in so well on DL. I mean If I've been here almost constantly for over ten years, I think I can confidently say I fit in.

Maybe it's the visuals. I don't present myself in a gay way. I'm too scruffy. Gays aren't as attracted to me as women seem to be and I'm rarely attracted to the "hawt guys" that DL seems to fawn all over. I stay well away from all that.

The Nelly SJW who has issues with other gay men having non gay friends is an obnoxious twat. Maybe one day he'll get over his bitterness.

straight men hate you faggots, dont you get it? thats what they truly think of you. stop being traitors to your community, they are our enemy, only have gay friends

You’re a loon r57.

Sorry OP, most of my friends are gay men.

If OP is a man he'll accept your apology.

straight men are by definition homophobic, transphobic and racist

Begone r61.

Well, we can definitely see what purpose THIS thread serves...

Str8 guys who are really str8 do NOT hate the sissy!

They actually welcome the presence of sissies because it means there will be more stinkfish available for themselves!

Str8 guys who hate sissies are actually sissies pretending to be str8!

(R50) Brilliant....by the way, do you want to kill your mother and father ?

Most of the younger straight guys I work with are not homophobic. I like some of the straight women, a couple of the lesbians and the most effiminate guy I work with is super smart and has a good heart. Flyoverville has some good people.

Who says “sissy” in 2019? 🙄

All my male friends are nongay. It’s just how I roll

Most of my mates are straight. I think it is simply the odds there are more straight men. I don't live in a gay neighbourhood, and when I was frequenting the pubs or music venues, they happen to be straight as well. I have gay male acquaintances, but have more gay women as close friends.

I like bros, so I naturally chill and quick it with straight and mostly straight dudes

If you're a gay man with no kids, having straight friends = a constant deluge of "well you don't have kids" remarks. I went off on one who was tired at 9:30 and was ending a zoom call. I asked him why he was so tired to which he replied "I got up at 6am. I have kids." to which I replied "I get up at 6am too and run 2 miles a day and I'm not tired." So obnoxious.

I have mostly straight friends because that's what the world is. I have some close lesbian and gay male friends as well. However, I have never been part of the "gay community" per se, because I am not attractive and they made it fairly clear they didn't want me around.

I try to take people as I find them. Most of my relationships are based on shared interests.

Your friend is correct. Having kids is itself a huge commitment and energy zapper. It’s nonstop vigilance and work.

R71 Lucky for me, most of mine also have no children. They either married too late in life, or otherwise they never wanted any, or their partners. Three have never married, nor have they impregnated any ladies.

Running two miles in the morning and having children are not equivalent, R71.

R72 I wasn't every gay man's cup of tea myself. Like you, my friendships evolved naturally on shared interests, work, or sport.

Precisely

For all the complaining you hear from certain types about “how the gay community is a sham! Gay guys are way more shallow and judgmental than Straight guys!” I know of way more platonic non-surface friendships between gay men who don’t find each other attractive than I do between straight men and women who don’t find each other attractive.

R75 digs through a purse at the checkout line.

+1 on R75

You were being a dick R71

You PLANNED to get up at 6AM and go for a run

He was likely woken from a sound sleep by a kid who wanted a diaper changed or someone to make breakfast or help putting together some Legos.

And I say this as someone who know the difference in how I feel when I get up at 6AM to go work out versus when the dog jumps on the bed to wake me up at 6AM because he's awake and wants to go for a walk. (And dogs are much less work than small children.)

Only for your boyfriend's phone number, R79.

Damn, that troll though. I don’t have a paid account and I can’t figure out how to block them.

R82 You can block peeps without being a contributor. Hit the circle with the line through the person... To the far right corner of their post.

Nope R80. His kids are 10 and12. A couple of Pop Tarts and bowls of cereal, then they're out the door until 3, which they then go to their rooms on their devices until dinner time.

Not sure why DLers have such a hard time distinguishing between "guys with effeminate characteristics" and "guys with effeminate interests"

There are plenty of guys who have gay voice/mannerisms who are not into RuPaul, women's fashion, shreiking "Yass Qweeen!!!" and the like.

And plenty of guys who have the aforementioned interests are not all that obviously gay

You just don't like the guy R85

Has nothing to do with his kids

^^R84

Wrong again. He's a good friend. I'm just tired of the "well you don't have kids" bullshit. It's passive aggressive to make you feel bad for not procreating while they vent their secret jealousy that you can still do whatever you want, when you want.

Sounds like you don't like him anymore R88

R88, My straight friends with kids have generally been frank about being frustrated about how parental obligations have cut into their social lives (which doesn't mean they don't love their kids). Have you considered just talking to him about it? He might appreciate having a chance to vent a bit, and this seems to be a taboo subject in much of modern culture (since children are supposed to be the best thing to ever happen to anyone ever).

R89, I just don't hear it from him. It's a common thing with other friends. Another one said I didn't have to worry about nut allergies because I don't have kids. Like I couldn't have one as an adult. Nonsense.

My two best male friends are gay. I've known them forever - one of them I went to school with and played with him when we were children. He's also my cousin. . The other I met shortly after graduation - we were both self-employed and sort of in the same line of work.

Female friends - two lesbians who are partners. A girl I went through school with who is now married with children. We were inseparable. I loved her like a sister and I still do. My partner's mother, who is 63 and looks like 45. Picture Madonna when she had dark hair, then add a little Courtney Love to the mix, and that's his mama.

Some friends I knew at university who went on to have children fairly quickly were overwhelmed and complained a lot, but others never seemed to. The ones who had regular sitters, or dropped them off at their grans, and had better family planning (not all back to back) were the non-complainers. It's easier being friends with these breeders now, as their children are all young adults now, and finished with their educations.

There are ten times as many straight people.

Love mixed friendships

A nice mix of both.

My gay friends are horribly sarcastic bitches, and I love them for it.

My straight friends are kind, gentle souls, not sassy or anything, but very reliable.

Yes. I came out late compared to many people so most gay groups were set. I have a lot of gay acquaintances but not a big infrastructure. Wish is was different but it's tricky making friends from middle age onward in any situation.

R7 - that is NOT what that means. It means that I value people who are my friends over people who are not my friends.

And yes, 95% of my friends are str8. Sexuality is not something I have in common with anyone except my spouse.

All my closest friends are gay men and a few gay women. I do have some hetero acquaintances, but they're mostly family or work-related and not people I'd consider interesting or fun to be around.

Lesbian here.

Most of my friends are straight--though I wish I had more lesbian friends. The lesbians I encounter are incredibly (and for no reason) judgmental and suspicious of new people. Most of my friends I've met through work.

^^I have to add: I'm not sure if this is a generational thing, but the lesbians I mentioned are in their mid-40s and older. The gay women I meet who are in their mid-30s and younger are so much friendlier and more normal.

Bro kiss

It's about evenly divided overall. Of the friends I now see regularly it's more straight men than gay men, but that owes something to geography — in part my newer, closer to hand friends tend more to be straight and my older friends at much greater distance tend more to be gay. I used to think that it was easier to make an immediate connection with other gay men, the sense of something shared. I see some truth in that still, certainly, but also the differences between gay men and straight men have narrowed, and even more so in some places (geography and time are at work together) where the one group doesn't hold out the other at a distance; there's no reason for gay men and straight men not to be friends, there's precent for it, it's past the point of a toke gay or a token straight friend, it's simply the expected reality among groups of friends.

How have any of you managed to be friends with straight guys? It was just never possible for me. I have so little in common with straight guys. I am not an athlete or sports enthusiast, and that's what straight guys bond over. I don't want to talk about women or straight sex. And I think straight guys are repulsed or intimidated by gay sexuality.

R104: My closest friends, and particularly my male friends, are from all over, from three continents anyway, and met at different times as adults. Maybe that eliminated some of the common ground that you describe of straight men. If my friends have more than a very passing interest in sports, or home-brewing, or or frat house interests, I'm not aware of it. I think it's different when you form your friendships as adults and everyone in the room didn't go the the same one or two schools. We bonded over shared interests, or over common friends and then found common interests of our own, or because, from our different backgrounds, we appreciate each other for a perspective and the ease of their company.

I can't say that there any things my straight male friends talk about or are interested in that is too far afield. We talk about sex, for instance, but not every time we see each other, and the mechanics of straight sex versus the mechanics of gay sex are a sideline to the conversation, if and when they arise.

It's not that strangely alien.

R104, to each their own, but are you stuck in a time warp wherein all gays are old world stereotypical? Many gay dudes love and play sports today.

⬆ this poster is such a homophobic piece of shit. Ugh

What’s homophobic about countering ridiculous, erroneous stereotypes about gay men, especially stereotypes that oppress and confine them In society?

By assuming that because someone doesn't like sports, they MUST be stuck in a "stereotypically gay time warp". Got it?

You just can't fucking help yourself with the blatant homophobia, can you. Fucking asshole.

My friends are 100% straight. Gay men are awful creatures: narcissistic, deceitful, dishonest, emotionally damaged and tragic. I’m lucky to have met my partner at 31 and we are extremely similar, and share our dislike for gay men.

R109, no. The poster didn’t merely state they don’t like sports, or can’t relate to straight men, but insisted that this is somehow definitive of being a gay man. That broad generalization about gay men is the problem here, not assertions about individual predilections.

No, the problem here is posters who are attracted to men, but are homophobic nonetheless.

You prove it time and time again. As do posters like R110. So keep going. It pleases me. You'll NEVER be straight or truly one of the bros. Ever.

Mostly gay and lesbian friends. Straight people are exhausting!

Yep. I have a few close gay friends, and many gay acquaintances, I don’t necessarily consider them “friends”, though. Most of my friends are, indeed, straight women and their husbands/boyfriends. My husband and I are usually two of the only gay people they hang out with. I honestly have never felt like it’s a strange thing in my social circle.

I cultivated straight friends that were a bit older than me. My former gay friends were exhausting, I had to live through their traumas of cheating bf's, no bf's, and those that were a couple had to live through their trials and tribulations (he did this, didn't do that). I'm a good listener, but it's much too much. Also as a child, I was solitary, had few friends.

All my male friends are straight. I just never meet gay guys I wanna know as more than an acquaintance. It might be self-hate, but Most millennial gay guys seem to only care about hookups, drag race and superheroes. I’m not into any of those things at this point.

Best friends

Are people really upvoting these homophobic posts?

R17 is a cunt.

R29 I'm guessing R28 is a female from the controlling and judgmental tone.

^so ass is probably not busted out--but I'm still on your side.

I so wish it were easier to obtain a 5150 for some of the people on this site (and I'm not talking about the ones who have straight friends)

I think as a gayling I expected being out and gay to be part of this great big fraternity, which doesn't really make sense on recollection. We all like cock so we should be best friends, but still. I trusted and felt betrayed at a very early age. I've really been able to get that trust back. I've stuck with straight friends, but they are all married and starting to have children so I screwed myself for not trying more. Or maybe I'm better off.

Hehe

The close friends I've had over the years have all been gay. For example, my best friend in college.

I'd like to meet straight guy friends, but I don't do the bro handshake or the male bonding stuff they like to do.

Try a sports bar

No friends. Family is all straight but might as well not have any.

Almost no gay single friends. I don't care for the single life although I am single. I have 3 or 4 gay married friends as couples . But, most of my friends are straight couples and divorced ones. There's less drama and more of a sense of continuity. But, I do get bored when they run on about their kids.

Kiss

So many gay men feel Like this about their straight bros

Husband and I have a few close gay couple friends. We don't have many single gay male friends. We also hang with straight married couples.

The less gay men in your life the better. I mean it, most are insufferable. There's a few exceptions.

So this has devolved into a place to post TikToks and IGs of young shirtless guys who are likely straight.

Very DL

If they are straight dudes seeking are with gay bros, it fits

Mixed orientation friends

This is me

I have a few gay friends, but only a couple who I'm close with. My closest guy friend is straight. We've known each other for over 25 years, and he's the one person I feel comfortable talking to about anything. He knows things that even my partner doesn't know. I have a few other straight guy friends that I enjoy hanging out with.

There have been a few gay guys over the years who I really liked and thought we could be good friends, but once they figured out I would never sleep with them, they lost interest.

I also have a lot of really good straight women friends. Not sure what that is. I know the DL hates women, but these women are true friends and have been there for me time and time again.

I don't have many lesbian friends. I know a lot of them who are casual friends, but any close friendships I had with any of them eventually petered out, due to their fibromyalgia or their tendency to stay at home watching BUFFY reruns all the time.

It’s easier to maintain a friendship when sex is not a possibility.

True

R126 You aren't expected to do any of that; just be yourself. I have an Italian friend (from Italy) who frequently kisses on the mouth. Another friend from S.Africa frequently squeezes and rubs shoulders, and I kiss one close friend on the forehead a lot. He's a bit of a hugger as well. No secret handshakes or fist bump required.

Stealth Bump Bitch thread going on here. R137, R139, R140. Short, low-effort replies after a thread has been dead for months are the giveaway.

R142, you’re the high-strung bossy busybody people dislike

We are an older couple (both on our 60s) and live in a rural area. The nearest person on Scruff is 16 miles away.

Most of the folks we hang with socially are straight. That is not because we are anti-gay, it's just we're reached a stage in our lives where friendships are not segregated based on gender, orientation, age, etc. What we all have in common is an appreciation and respect for each other

Interrogating your bros

i have a mixture.

It's good to have many straight friends as mixing with too many gays can give you unwanted affectations if your not careful.

Gays in a group can tend to mince it up and sound like a 1000 purses dropped out of their mouths.

You won't get away with that nonsense with your straight friends.

They'll keep you grounded and you will find you cant just talk about Madonna or whoever is her equivalent for today for 2 hours straight.

I'm about 50/50. I love effeminate gay men, but I share more interests with straight men

Yes OP, I'm a gay man with mostly straight friends (and many bi friends in straight relationships).

There are a whole host of reasons.

No. All of my friends are gay men and some lesbians. I do have some hetero acquaintances, but I find it really hard to empathize with/care about them.

It's a mix. There's one distinct social circle in my crowd of gay men who know each other and have for years, but overall my friendships are split bet gay/bi folks and straights.

I have some gay friends, but I find it really hard to relate to them in any way.

My straight friends have ALWAYS been WAY more supportive and caring and decent and dependable. The gay friends are all self-absorbed flakes and drama queens that don't really give a shit about me.

I also never cared about or related to reality TV, drag queens, or any of the utter crap that seems to absorb the attention of most gay men. My straight friends are all anything but shallow.

They're smart, fun, and funny, and they accept me for exactly who I am, whereas the gay friends all want to "take away my gay card" because I don't fit whatever stereotype they think it's important that I must fit in order to be "properly" gay.

The Gay "community" is anything but. It's fucking High School, and I HATED High School.

We have a healthy mix of friends, gay and straight.

So many of the gay men and gay couples I know seem to have straight friends on the basis of wanting to casually hang out with them.....and gay friends that they either fucked at some point or want to fuck in the future.

Sleepover

I do not enjoy the company of any gays I’ve ever met.

You know how bitchy fags can be.

Two of my best friends are straight women (who live abroad). I have several other close friends who are straight women. I don't seek them out. It's just who I feel comfortable around, have connections with, and am more myself. For a while, I prioritised having gay male friends over female friends, which, in retrospect, doesn't seem all that important now.

I have had a handful of close friendships with gay men. One I had to let go of after about 20 years. He was funny and interesting and we both had similar taste in film. We got into a lot of hijinks together. I looked past how dramatic and toxic he could be, because I got used to making myself small around him. When I got into my 40s, I realised I didn't have the energy to anymore, even though he was one of my few gay male friends, especially considering we had known each other for so long. I do miss him, but I don't think our friendship was built to last. I got along well with his partner and don't know how he tolerates begin in a relationship with him.

I have a bi-friend I've been friends with for more than a decade. We have both moved around the world separately. Sustaining a friendship under these circumstances is challenging, but I found that I was the one doing most of the heavy lifting. When I stopped, the friendship shifted to more of an acquaintanceship. This is fine, but I miss what we had. He met his partner a few years after we became friends. His partner makes a lot of money and my friend leads a different lifestyle now, which is fine. I'm not sure if it impacted our friendship, or we weren't built to last.

I have another gay friend of 15 years. We were casual friends at first because he went back and fourth between two countries. When I moved to his country (for unrelated reasons, though it was convenient I had a friend already when I came), we spent way more time together for a spell and then he drifted off for a bit. It seems to be a cycle with us, and I've just grown to accept it. I know he cares about me, and I appreciate the times we get together, but I try not to expect too much out of the friendship. He has been with his partner for a year longer than he has known me, and I think he's hilarious. I love spending time with the two of them.

I had a trainer a few years ago and we started hanging out. I'm not sure what happened. No connection? I was too boring? Frigid? No idea. I think he moved to Israel.

I'm in my late 40s now and it's difficult to make new friends. I certainly need to put more energy into it. I'll admit that. I've been going through some challenging times professional the last couple of years. Perhaps when that all finally gets resolved, I'll become more social, and get my confidence/mojo back and start acting like the old me.

No fraus, no gays, no trans. Straight guys can be assholes but are a lot less into manufacturing drama and unnecessary problems and conflicts, like the above categories. I do have to say they gossip equally, but it’s less conspiratorial. Most straight guys don’t care that much. Plus most gays only want to be friends if they want you sexually. Otherwise they ignore you.

I'm pretty surprised by the number of gay men here who claim to have mostly straight male friends. I didn't know that was a thing.

I did have one straight male friend in my early 20s for almost three years. We had great times together. I came out to him and he was cool with it. He was my best friend. He told me so, and I felt the same. And then he ghosted me (this was before social media, internet being a big part of our lives, etc) months later. He hurt me pretty badly. It took me years to get over the loss of our friendship. I did find him on FB and he accepted my friend request. He was married with kids. I eventually de-friended him because it was obvious the friendship was gone.

*I did find him on FB years later

For me they are easier. It’s more casual, and straight guys are more direct and you don’t have to second guess the meaning and intentions of what they do or say. Gays and fraus are always running some passive aggressive personal agenda to see what someone will stay or do—or do something to get a reaction. I’ve seen girls intentionally get low key guys so angry and frustrated with their games and badgering bullshit that the guys finally lose their temper and get mad. And then the female acts all scared and talks about “you make me feel unsafe”. Fuck off. Pussy can’t be worth all that suffering.

Maybe it's the women I attract into my life, but my female friends (best friends, close friends, casual friends) have been mostly drama-free, especially in their interactions with me.

The women you've met seem like cliches or out of a movie, R160.

: shrug :

My best friend is a straight guy, we've known each other since the first day of high school. I don't get along with others gay guys. I tried to have female friends but they were always acting mean to me...

Grindr Test

Cringe

Yes! I can't stand being around more than one gay guy at a time because in groups it inevitably devolves into a Yaaasss Queen/She, Her Nell fest, and I leave.

I’m much closer to my gay friends. I can speak to them without censoring myself. My straight friends are great, but there are parts of my life about which they would rather not hear.

If you are into other things and have common interests it doesn’t matter. Just like not all straight guys talk about hot chicks and pussy all the time, some gay guys don’t talk dick and hot guys all the time, either.

Precisely

When your straight bro goes to a gay club

Gays will rip apart people that are overweight, ugly, poor, or have no fashion sense.

Straight guys don't care as long as your not staring at their crotch 24/7 and are lusting after their dick.

I hate to say this but straight people = less drama.

Straight dudes generally are more chill, laid back, lowkey, which is my temperament

The word "dude" or "dudes" appears 5 times in this thread, so far (well, 7 counting this post).

For the sake of brevity I'll say that in my experience as a gay man, when you find a straight man who is open to being your friend you'll usually have found the best friend you'll ever have. A lifelong friend.

R173, from what far off land are you posting wherein the use of the ultracommon term “dude” is noteworthy.

All my good friends are straight. Gay men are too flaky to be real friends.

I vibe with conventionally masculine guys who are laid back and chill

Straight guys don’t sexualize their butts

R178, you must have never been on TikTok or Instagram. Or hung out with male fitness bros

[quote]Gays will rip apart people that are overweight, ugly, poor, or have no fashion sense.

The first people to comment when a woman is hired who isn't "up to their standards" will be the straight guys.

r180 But they usually just leave it at that, whereas gays take ripping people apart to the subatomic level.

[quote] Straight guys don’t sexualize their butts

But you certainly can.

What happens when your straight homies act Sus with you?

Mostly gay and a straight

I find straight men to be more harshly judgemental, and I don’t really get on with them much at all. The ones at work tend to ignore me, with one or two good exceptions. I’m not even a flaming queen, but I’m more comfortable in the presence of women and gay men.

This thread is like The Boys in the Band come to life. I have a mixed bag of friends but christ, some of you queens are so self loathing.

Seriously, R186.

I have gay and straight friends, male and female.

The repeating theme from posters here goes something like this: "Gay men are bitchy, effeminate, judgmental, shallow, flaky, passive aggressive, etc. But me, I'm a special exception among gay men. I'm not one of those annoying queen types who are everywhere. I'm a laid-back bro, so of course all my friends are straight."

If many of you view yourselves this way, then you represent the plenty of gay men who don't fit the negative and narrow gay stereotypes. You're really not that rare among the gay populace and you seem to imply that those who deviate from traditionally heteronormative behavior are worse and "straight acting" is automatically superior. I think that's a simplistic black-and-white way of thinking.

.,.,

I get along with gay men if they are chill, laid back, and nonstereotypical

R187, you can call it simplistic and black & white, but it's also correct. Sorry, not sorry.

Nobody likes shrill drama queen attention whores who constantly create drama and stress, and who constantly put others down.

Internalized homophobia is such a lazy response. Most friendships depend on the caliber of the individual or commonalities, not their sexual orientation. Being friends with one person over another primarily based on sexual orientation—or using that as determining factor—is just another form of prejudice. There are straight guys I’m not friends with because we either don’t have anything in common or the vibe isn’t there.

Most people here are not saying that they won’t be friends with gay guys, but rather they haven’t found strong friendships with other gay guys based on personal experience. I think straight guys tend to be less complicated, so it makes even easier to get along with, generally speaking.

The real test for me is whether they have your back behind your back, and also see you as their equal. I found most straight women don’t see gay men on the same level as straight men. Straight guys I’m not sure, but I don’t think they think that much and are cool as long as you aren’t a lot of drama or flirt with or hit on them. Respect is a two way street.

I think orientation and how you are tested superficially by others are good indicators, but someone being there for you in bad times—or saying something when the fag jokes start when you aren’t around—are better indicators.

I do wish I had more gay friends, but like many here, they usually want to be the only queen in the straight castle. I just don’t have the energy for cuntiness, and usually it comes from gay men or women.

*treated not tested

Bros

Yes. More straight than gay friends. Oddly, one has been sitting on the fence for years and pretends that he is completely straight. He thinks I don't know. It was kinda cute at first, then it got tiring, now it is exhausting.

Most of my gay friends have flaked away and disappeared. Fair-weather friends is putting it kindly. Only two have really stuck around.

My straight friends have stuck with me. Solid as a rock. For years and decades.

My straight friends are knowledgeable and supportive and accepting and totally cool.

Most guys are not straight.

If you have good male friends, it is not because heterosexual men are better than homosexual men. It's because you value good friendships.

My relationships with straight male friends are just less complicated than the ones with gay male friends.

Our friends are all straight. We've all been mates for decades. Them having kids has never changed our friendships.

Goals

Mostly straight, yes. Gay friends and acquaintances also weird out a lot by suddenly falling off the grid or your circle of friends' radar, moving away or never being heard from again, or else they come out of hiding once every so long often like homosexual cicadas.

I'm a lesbian with mostly straight friends. Even though I'm not high femme or anything, I don't do anything to make myself visibly look queer (eg that undercut haircut or pride clothes) and have been told I don't "look" lesbian or have lesbian mannerisms and that set off gaydars. I've found it easier to meet and make friends with straight people who share my interests. I was friends with a gay guy and his partner at one point, but we drifted when they moved to Australia.

Ally

Nice

When your bro is hot

At certain points in life, I have been.

And they're such fucking bitches when it comes to pussy. They're the flip-side of fraus.

No 205, you’re just misogynist

R206, not really. When they get to that sad point, I axtually root for the fraus over them.

[quote] "Yes, I am. I think it's just because I don't really care about my friends' sexualities and there's a higher chance that those you meet are straight."

Same, R3.

Besties

Not in your dreams. My best friends are all gay. There's a level of intimacy and inherent understanding with gay men that could never be attained with heterosexuals, men or women. I love gay men even when I can't stand them.

And that’s you, not everyone ⬆️

Besties

It’s rewarding

It's just basic math. 90 to 95% of people are straight so of course gay men/women are more likely to be friends with straight people.