Velvet Buzzsaw - Jake Gyllenhaal leads Netflix’s “satirical art horror”

On Rotten Tomatoes, the film holds an approval rating of 70% based on 46 reviews, and an average rating of 6.4/10.

Every new character introduced ups the ante on pretentious names.

Weirdos don't get dessert!

Jake and Rene together again. God, I love "Nightcrawler". Hope this is even half as good.

He'll never be President.

Here are the skin shots

It's EXACTS revenge, not [italic]enacts[/italic] revenge.

Ok but body

R8 wow I'm pleasantly surprised. I'm genuinely curious as to why he doesn't wear anything that shows his form. He usually dresses like he just woke up from a nap

Two things are absolutely inarguable: The man is hot. and he's a damned good actor. I've seen movies I'd never watch because he's in them. He makes stupid movie choices. I even liked Nocturnal Animals and didn't expect to. But when you tell me Gyllenhaal, Armie Hammer and Aaron Taylor-Johnson, are in it, I'm there. I think his biggest problem is that he runs away from his looks. He is always playing some jerk deliberately making himself look like an ass. He's too pretty to be an ass so it lacks authenticity.

Jake's naked ass... yum! But I wish we could have got to see more of Billy Magnussen. He hotter than Jake, with a better body. Why do they always give him such small parts?

R11 I prefer Jake.

If he doesn't show hole, it's a no.

Nice ass shot, very brief. Hot body too. Now, getting to the show, it was VERY weird and I absolutely loved it. It was a good caricature of the high end art world, with really funny spooky shit.

Bitch stole my act.

Rene Russo is terrific in this film. Unfortunately, she's the only terrific thing in it. The script is not very good, except for the withering asides it serves up about the art world. John malkovich's character could be removed entirely. It is nearly irrelevant to the plot. Jake Gyllenhaal lacks sufficient stature for the role he's trying to play. Malkovich would have been better.

The movie is a bit of a mess.

Renee Russo was fantastic. I've never thought about her one way or another but I really thought her performance was great.

Russo (along with Jake, actually) is one of the great mistakes in Academy history. She should have been up for Best Supporting for "Nightcrawler" for that dinner scene alone. And I love that she didn't fall into the trap of just making her a cold bitch. Excellent work.

(Russo really has become the best Model turned Actress in history and I hope she starts getting some love now that she is older. So underrated).

It’s not a good film and never overcomes the tropes of a moralistic slasher. But Rene is excellent and proves she is a great collaborator with her husband.

Does Jake have a sex scene with a guy r20?

No.

And there goes my interest in this movie.

I absolutely love Rene Russo in pretty much everything she does. I thought Nightcrawler was amazing. Velvet Buzzsaw, however, was very forgettable. I also liked Toni Collette. Great on-screen presence.

I've decided. Gilroy is a talented writer, but he is not a very good director.

He's not as talented as his brother Tony. Tony wrote Michael Clayton.

Jake’s body is ridiculous. He must be naturally really fit or work out like a fiend. It really didn’t fit the character but I’m not complaining.

R8, he looks bad there. At least 10 years older.

I have seen this movie. Jake's performance is a huge miss, for me. It's ripped from Carmen Ghia circa 1967, but not funny.

Who's the black artist? He's hot.

Daveed Digs of Hamilton

"The Square" Meets "American Horror Story." Its pretty much shite.

Jake's sex scenes were with the gal, not the guy. So much for "gender fluidity."

Jake’s obviously doing a cycle again, just like Zac Efron. Their bodies are totally incongruous with the characters they are playing and their narcissism is why they will never be taken seriously as actors.

Jake's haircut is the scariest part of the movie.

Jake was great in Nightcrawler this is the 2nd time he tried to repeat that type of performance ( remember that animal rights movie ) and failed big time. Rene and Jake’s too brief nude scenes are the only thing entertaining about this movie.

It does get better at the end with ever.... I don’t to spoil it. What happens to Jake’scharacter?

It's really not that good. I guess they had fun making it. But for me Tom Sturridge and John Malkovich were the best acting in the movie and the little girl who played Gretchen. Toni Colette was hammy to the nth degree. Renee Russo played another brittle schemer with a hint of desperation. There was no depth to any of the other characters. They were caricatures.

Is Tom Sturridge also in a play with Jake?

Yes.R38

Jake didn't really inhabit his character. Tom did.In the movie.

I like Tom Sturridge. Do they get naked together in the play?

Oh, I like Tom Sturridge too. I think he's a much better actor than Jake. Jake seems like he tries too hard. You can see him "acting." Tom is the real shit.

Yes Tom Sturridge seemed the only naturalistic portrayal.

If Jake is bi or gay, this performance was trolling. Gay or straight, it's a bad performance.

So I’m wondering is Jake’s body from steroids or HGH? I workout 6 days a week and do the keto diet and I don’t look like that and we are the same age. What’s he putting in his body? I would never use steroids but maybe I should consider HGH to get more definition like Jake?

r26 Michael Clayton is a very underrated movie. I thought it was absolutely brilliant, and I'm not even a big Clooney fan. Tilda deserved that Oscar.

Maybe you are not meant to have the same body, dear.

R44 Don't quote me on this, but whenever the male actors in the Marvel movies talk about how they get so defined, they talk about how they are super dehydrated the day before the scene. And they also have to shoot those scenes earlier into the filming process because they're never that toned by the end of the film. But my understanding of bodybuilding and definition is minimal at best.

I turned the movie off about half an hour in. It's a straight-to-tv C movie that Netflix seems to have cornered the market on.

Zawe Ashton is intriguing. She has a very deep, yet pleasant voice

Ashton played Vod in the U.K. comedy series Fresh Meat. She was great in that.

It was a fun and funny movie. I like how someone complains about the characters being caricatures.

Well, no shit Sherlock. Is "nuanced" really what you need from a comedy/horror farce?

Aren't you delicate.

It's basically just a re-imagining of And Then There Were None.

i understood it was meant to be black comedy but it was not funny

There was no tension. No sense of apprehension. The pace was not good.

It's about as memorable as a 1970s "Movie of the Week".

I got bored after 30 min. A silly idea for a horror movie. I hope Jake and Rene got paid a lot to do this dreck.

No explanation for why Sturridge plays his part with a South African accent. He's OK in the role, with a hideous squirrelly moustache to add "eccentricity."

Jake is gorgeous. I like the older Jake's face.

It’s a 1950s/60’s Roger Corman tribute. Everything that people seem to be disliking about this were hallmarks of his movies and seem to be intentional on the part of the creatives.

The pacing was way off to the point that it meandered. A movie like this should be pretty tight. And funnier. I did like the take on respecting a person's dying wishes.

R36 shows us the whole problem. The film is so poorly directed that we don't really know what happened to the leading character. Before each next gory murder there was a grievous lack of suspense building up. In every instance, there was enough information for the viewer to think, "Uhhhh... Don't go in there, don't do that." And then they did. And then it crept on to the next character

There was more actual suspense in Sharknado. Alfred Hitchcock is yawning in his grave.

It seems like nobody can make a decent thriller anymore, which is such a shame.

So, I gather from reading this thread that VB fails at being a comedy and at being a thriller, and at being a comedy thriller.

Velvet Sawing ZZZZZs.

One gets the feeling that another film was shot at the same time, and Jake was acting for that one, but all the scenes were cut and we got this one, that just plods on for like forever, wasting good actors and actresses. it comes off as writer and director being only vaguely familiar with contemporary art and intimidated by it, assuming the audience s even dumber, thus the gags straight out of 1970 or before. Malkovich's hefty bags of garbage mistaken for art! hahahahahaha! the corpse and blood are part of the exhibit. hahahahahaha! Lucy new how to send up pretentiousness.

If they couldn't build suspense they could have at least built up the comedy aspect. They failed.

Lucy knew

Toni Colette was excellent in a pointless role.

The black girl reminded me vaguely of Meghan Markle. Is that why I kept wanting something awful to happen to her?

Toni's wardrobe was mildly amusing. Toni isn't thin and they put her in these voluminous arty outfits that made her look like an elephant, and seemed like a snide remark on that type of art woman. In fact her character seemed to be more like 55.

Nightcrawler was an awesome film and this follow up by Dan Gilroy (Rene Russo’s husband) was somewhat of a letdown. I get what he was trying to do, but the tension and pacing that was present in Nightcrawler seems to have dissipated in Velvet Buzzsaw. I agree with others that Rene was the standout in this film. I hope that directors take note and cast her in more stuff. She’s just fantastic. Zawe Ashton, who found all the art, was poorly cast. A stronger actress was needed to play against Jake and Rene. Someone like Zoë Kravitz would have been fantastic, more of a “bad ass”. Loved Toni Collette, she never gives a bad performance and she really knows how to chew up the scenery.

Rene's house, though. I loved it.

The paintings were awful.

R71, that was the point. All the paintings were awful.

Another satire was that a dead "outsider" artist would be an instant contemporary art world darling, commanding museum and gallery wars, public acclaim, and millions of dollars. It was too preposterous thus satirized nothing.

Maybe they should have set this in the 60's and made it pulpier. Jake is the only one gay a pulpy performance.

who gay. hahah who gave

Tom Sturridge, John Malcovich, Renee, Jake all did pretty well. It's a shame the rest weren't given more to work with. I thought Gilroy had a great cast who did what they could with it.

Watched it last night, it was easy and moved well and Jake is fun. Gilroy always captures L.A. well but it's too bad it's a supernatural thing, wish it had been more about greed and humanity like "Nightcrawler" (what made "Nightcrawler" far scarier than this).

That black woman lead is good but, man, does she look and sound like Jaye Davidson. I kept waiting for the big reveal. I liked Jake with the glasses and his usual body language. Like Bale, he creates whole new characters with his speech patterns and frame which is cool. Russo was good but a little harder in this than I would've liked. Worth watching.

OMG R77 I thought the same thing!

Zoe Kravitz?! She is getting better, but there is a good reason why she got no awards love when Big. Little Lies was winning everything in sight. The lead was weird in that she was very uneven, but that might have been because of uneven script.

Dyer was surprisingly good becuase she sleepwalks through Stranger Things.

What happened to Jake at the end with the robot ( I missed what happened to Billy ) ? You think the robot is going to kill him there is a click noise then a silent pause. Renee gets a phone call seemingly about a death but I couldn’t understand if it was about the lead girl or Jake.

Jake was gay in movie had a live in lover but pursued lead girl whole movie.

Is Dyer the too skinny girl in Stranger Things ? She was good.

[quote]What happened to Jake at the end with the robot ( I missed what happened to Billy ) ?

Billy was pulled through the painting by the monkeys. Jake's neck was snapped by the robot.

[quote]Renee gets a phone call seemingly about a death but I couldn’t understand if it was about the lead girl or Jake.

Jake IIRC. There's no reason for anyone to think the lead woman was dead because she became part of the mural.

Was also fun to see something of a "Nightcrawler" ensemble. The boss who buys Lou Bloom's stolen goods makes a good appearance and, of course, Jake and Rene. Will have to look and see if there are more. You know the great Paxton would have had a role if we hadn't lost him.

Rene's house, though. I loved it.

Agree big time. Anyone know where it is? That view!

Jake and Tom in a movie together and then a play together? I guess they get along pretty well.

I found it an enjoyable movie to watch on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

You expect more. All it was is a dressed up slasher film.

Don't agree. I hate slasher films, definitely not in the same category.

I had fun with it. I love contemporary art and it was fun to see it (and art criticism) get dragged. Uber-hipster German(?) Gallery Artist Representative, Jon Dondon, meeting with veteran artist Piers (John Malkovich) to view his latest work, in studio. Dondon crouches before a pile of trash and garbage bags. “This. Is. Remarkable.”

Malkovich continues walking, over his shoulder, “it’s not art.” I laughed.

I thought the title barely had anything to do with the plot. It’s just the tattoo that ends up killing Rene at the end.

[quote]But Rene is excellent and proves she is a great collaborator with her husband.

I didn’t know she was married to Jake.

R89 you laughed? Well, a lid for every pot.

xox R63

It looked like Malibu. I’m sure it’s burned down by now.

The only remotely scary moment for me was when the hobot broke into a run at the end.

It could have been both silly and suspenseful, but it settled for all of the former and none of the latter.

Nowhere near the creep quality of Nightcrawler.

The cast didn’t really have anything beyond caricatures to play, but I liked everyone, especially Tom Sturridge looking sexy in that funny moustache. Russo was the most entertaining in the ensemble, but there was really no one to root for - more like wait for some unimaginative deaths of.

Hated it.

I don't think the movie was trying to be scary. The problem is, it wasn't funny or original, or remotely amusing, either.

Am I the only one who didn’t like Jake’ performance ?

R97 why didn't you like it? I thought it was pretty convincing.

Another movie where the "bi" character only fucks women. Snooze.

R96 I agree. The movie sucked. It had zero gay scenes. I don't count the one where Jake's character sits in a chair and his partner jumps in the pool naked. He didn't even look at him ffs. He was pining for his female love interest.

I didn't care for his mannerisms, trying to be a Gay person who is attracted to the girl. That walk at the very beginning, and I hated his hair. Hated it.

The show was amusing but anti-social and misanthropic without redeeming the chracters or developing the monster.

We get it. You hate the art industry.

I did like that it made fun of the pretentious bullshit that smothers the art world but there was no suspense at all.

What was the purpose of the Malkovich character?

I kept hoping he would end up being the “real killer.”

The deaths could have been executed with more wit and creativity. This movie would have been hilarious 30 years ago.

I thought Gyllenhaal’s lisping gay stereotype (I know, I know, the character’s bi) was completely wide of the mark and why they gave him that godawful wig to wear is beyond me. Actually, the whole film is way wide of the mark—it doesn’t work as comedy, as horror–comedy, as horror, as satire (it takes more than highly strung, nasty mincing art critics and fake South African accents to savage the art world), as homage to Corman (as someone upthread said), or as meta-art (if you take same of the shots as stills, they fairly accurately reproduce real works of art, like Jake sitting naked on the edge of the bed, his left knee knocking awkwardly against his right knee as a citation of one of the damned being dragged to hell in Michelangelo’s Last Judgment). The film’s just a huge, hot, steaming pile of garbage.

So Jake only fucks women ?? What a coward. He has done everything possible to distance himself from BBM ever since it came out.

Floplenhaal indeed.

The me the movie felt like it wanted to be the same for the art industry as what Altman's Prêt-à-Porter was for the fashion industry. Cynical satire, but - unlike Prêt-à-Porter - it kind of fell flat, because it wasn't satirical (or for a horror movie horrifying) enough.

It wasn't even satisfactory in the sense of giving the viewer satisfying death scenes (well, maybe except Gretchen, Toni Collette's character) for these unsympathetic characters.

It should have been an episode of The Twilight Zone.

Funny you should say that, r109.

"Night Gallery" had an episode that, as a kid, scared the wits out of me. Roddy MacDowell played the nephew of a wealthy old uncle that he kills to hurry along his inheritance. He starts to live in his old mansion and makes an enemy of the dead uncle's loyal butler.There is a painting on the wall of a cemetery and, every few days when he looks at it, it changes , shows a coffin, an open coffin, a zombie coming towards the house....

If I had directed this shit I would have had the robot catch Jake, rip his pants off, bend him over and fuck him raw

I don’t think Jake was wearing a wig. I have seen many bad wig movies this year that are Oscar contenders that is about the only good thing I can say about this movie it isn’t a bad wig movie.

Remember AHS last Jessica Lange season ? Murphy hired a bunch of circus freaks at the end all he had them do was being chased by a killer. That’s what this movie reminded me of.

It’s worth iwatching for the close up shot of Jake’s sexy feet.

I hate horror films but I watch this one for Queen Toni Collette as I watched both Krampus and Hereditary just for her.

(when the lawn sculpture fell...)

Lol r116

Watched it today. Jake's got a gorgeous body, and I was surprised that a straight man directed it, because of the lingering shirtless shots of Jake, Billy, and the two black guys. As for the story, not totally successful, but it was a okay way to spend a snowy Sunday afternoon.

I thought the black girl might be transgender. She looks so much like Jaye Davidson from The Crying Game and even has the deep voice.

^^^ oops, I didn't read the previous posts, so I am not alone in thinking that. (Out of curiosity, I googled her history to see if she was born a man)

"got bored after 30 min"

I gave up after 15. I usually like JG, but this is not one of his better performances, to say the least. And the rest of it didn't merit my time.

I thought it was a strange movie, sort of amusing. Reminded me of an old Twilight Episode or that other anthology horror series.

I thought the movie was a lot of fun. Not funny, but fun. Jake was great in this role — thoroughly convincing. Russo was strong, too. I don’t get the praise here for Tom S. He was pretty much just there for me.

What did you think about Jake in The Sisters Brothers ?He looked very handsome but whatever accent he was doing wasn’t working. He needs someone in his life to tell him the truth.

I thought the movie was sharp and funny but I lost interest once the horror started.

I got a bit over half way thru....banal.

What R123 said. Verbatim.

It’s hard to watch, joyless, no fun. I hate the flood of nihilistic dark entertainment on Netflix.

Okay Pollyanna r128. Golden Girls reruns are available for you enjoyment on some antique network.

Hey R129, F U C K Y O U ! ! !

Your opinions are uninspired, banal and oh-so-20th century r130.

Bea Arthur needs to step out of your tv and smother you under her caftan.

His chest hair and side nudity were enough for me to tune in. He showed ass. He's what 38? Why is it so many European men will do a nude scene but he's stopped doing it. After that cute little run, full backside exposed but covering his junk in that film with Anne H., he needs at least one long confident stride like Michael Fassbender did in shame. Even better if walked around with the "flopping-dick" walk. He can

Jake is better eye candy than he is an actor.

They have very good CGI now so dick size is not as reliable as it once was.

Does anyone remember JOOP for Men?

I remember the smell, r134. Is this where you meant to post it? Does Jake wear it in Velvet Buzzsaw?

Jake was late for an interview on WNYC radio last week and was flaky about it. No apologies. It was annoying.

Was good to see Lenora Crichlow in something so high profile. She was great in Sugar Rush.