Monaco - Anyone Been To This Shit Hole???

First bit of advice: don't drive fast on the roads.

Thoughts and Prayers

If you want people to respect you in Monaco you must a tiara at all times.

Drink a lot. I hope you don't have to pay to go to such a lame place.

How come Princess Grace and Prince Rainier were just Prince and Princess. Why no King and Queen?

Isn't that an old people vacation destination?

Yeah, OP, going to Monaco is a real fucking hardship. STFU.

I will get my fuck on in Paris for three days beforehand. Monaco seems like a monastery with roulette.

You're already a fuck.

Its a pleasant place, if its sunny and warm. Just enjoy the sea and the weather on someone else's dime. If you go in summer, go to Jimmy'z as anthropological field work and gaze upon truly high class whores.

Take a careless drive along the coast OP!

It's a Third World...sorry, DEVELOPING country.

Get your shots!!

A sunny place for shady people

It has kind of a scummy history, in that Grace & Ranier didn't really "fall in love". He had been advised to marry an American movie star to up tourism in his tiny principality. His first choice was Marilyn Monroe, but THAT didn't quite work out, so he settled for Grace Kelly.

She'd already fucked every actor in L.A. and on Broadway, and was ready to quit acting and settle down to a not-necessarily-romantic marriage. Her father was shocked when Ranier demanded a 1 million dollar dowary ... but Grace had warmed to the idea of becoming European royalty, so after a lot of grousing the check was written.

Their marriage was fairly unhappy and he started cheating on her immediately. She popped out her 3 kids fast and being a mom basically became her life.

She was pretty much Princess Frau.

Her Serene Frauness kept an apartment in Paris and had gentlemen callers.

Enough with the humble bragging. Your purpose was detectable a mile away (from the other side of Monaco) but then you had to add the Paris comment, depicting the most beautiful city in the world as an obligatory necessity for eventual survival in this horrible cruel cesspool of a life that has put Montecarlo in your path.

You’ll have the fucking French Riviera at your disposal and you expect us to believe that you’ll actually be miserable? Why don’t you just write “jealous, bitches?” and get it over with.

[quote]r15 Her Serene Frauness kept an apartment in Paris and had gentlemen callers.

But she was rather innerly miserable a good deal of the time. She never learned to speak French, so she was isolated and had few people to talk to in depth. She always felt resentment from the palace staff, who saw her as an interloper. Both daughters turned into rebelious whores that embarrased her. She'd never planned to give up acting forever. Her husband cheated on her routinely.

It wasn't really all that great, though she got some good jewelry.

R14, Wow. Never heard that version of the all American Princess fantasy tale. Why was there marriage so unhappy? Beginning to think all Royal men are bisexual compulsive cheaters. No wonder their kids are so messed up.

R18, in the immortal words of Chris Rock, "A man is only as faithful as his options."

True. Occasionally there are exceptions but not that many.

She was good with Hitchcock, but not so much with other directors.

O.P., if you can't locate a convenient grease fire, why not stand in front of that mirror sculpture and incinerate yourself? We'll wait.

What R16 said. I hope Princess Stéphanie is your Uber driver, cunt.

Why do posters consider Monaco a "trashy shit hole?" Doesn't it have beautiful beaches and low crime? How's the food? Must be lots of things to do besides throwing out your $$$ gambling & partying.

Besides Ringo and his wife (I don't even know if they're still there), what other famous people live in Monaco?

My sister has an apartment home in the same building Shirley Bassey lives in. She enjoys the weather and friends she has in her old age. She makes it sound quite nice.

I was in Monaco recently, R23. No beautiful beaches, but it is clean and safe. I seem to remember it being said that it has like 1 police officer for every 50 residents. Monaco is an example of a benevolent dictatorship. Residents are guaranteed jobs and places to live. But a long-day visit off of a cruise ship was enough for me.

R17, Grace spoke French.

While there, visit these two museums: The Oceanographic Museum and the Grimaldi Automobile Museum.

R5 They're not king and queen because Monaco is so TINY! But it could be worst, they could be duc and duchesse. The worst part is being surrounded by France, who beheaded their royals 200 years ago...

OP Monaco is fine, you will see some very expensive cars parked everywhere, the food is mostly italian or french, and they don't look at tourists like they're annoying like the parisians do (when visiting Paris, avoid peak hours with your huge luggage in public transport please, and on the escalator stick to the right if you don't want to climb it, thx)

Are you taking some time to visit the south of France as well?

I'll tell Edyth Van Hopper you'll be in town - she will be THRIILED to see you...

Impressionannant, non?

R5 and r29, Monaco is a principality and not a kingdom.

Hence, it is ruled by a Prince and not a King.

You'll be mistaken for the help, how are you at cleaning toilets?

Oh, well. THAT makes everything SO much clearer.

I've been there. It was nice. But my buddy and I were there on a Sunday. Nothing is open. We were so starving! We just sat on some hill. And get ready to climb and climb.

Travel the short ride to Cap d'Antibes and have breakfast or lunch at the Hotel du Cap Eden Roc. Take a copy of F Scott Fitzgerald's Tender is the Night to read. The opening passage takes place at the hotel.

Christ. Do people actually do stuff like that?

R5, because the princes of Monaco were vassals of the French king from the Middle Ages to the 19th century, then became a protectorate of the Kingdom of Sardinia, before becoming a protectorate of France. Monaco had always owed its sovereignty to larger powers.

Hey. Just bring a lot of cash and a tux and hang out at the casino.

I’ll answer for you OP. And I promise not to dredge up, like the fraus, their tedious old Grace anecdotes that they filched from the bios they bought at the op shop.

It *is* a shit hole of sorts. A complete police state if course, but there is actually quite a bit of crime, although they hush it up. A friend (beautiful rich blond) used to party with Albert before his marriage. He is nice but very weak. Prey to developers. After daddys death he bowed to their pressure and reversed the high rise ban. Which explains the hideous Tour Odeon and other shit for the russians and chinese who demand NEW. Which half explains why in recent years a lot of the old tatty charm has gone because SO many of the remaining villas have been bulldozed for second rate apartments — stratospherically priced. And there’s a shitload of building stock from the 50s & 60s that desperately needs renewing. Monaco actually has big problems. Problems with growth and sustainability etc. The marketing is wearing thin. Most people don’t tealise that Monacos rubbish incinerator is only metres from some of its most expensive real estate. While it is ulta filtered, billionaires are still breathing bad air. There’s the constant construction and traffic noise: the place is chewed up with cars. The Rock is lovely, but you can’t help think when there it would have been an infinitely better place in 1900. What surprises me about Monaco is how utterly awful most of the apartments are inside. Good taste really is rare there. Truly.

R40 no wonder Stephanie joined the circus.

OP = troll who is going nowhere, just sitting in his cube in NYC.

[quote][R5] They're not king and queen because Monaco is so TINY! But it could be worst, they could be duc and duchesse.

Size doesn’t matter in these things — Irish kings in the Middle Ages sometimes just ruled over a couple of hundred people and a few square miles. Naturally it depends instead on the position of the ruler in the medieval hierarchy. If you’re a prince, you can’t just say you’re a king because it’s grander.

[quote]The worst part is being surrounded by France, who beheaded their royals 200 years ago...

But then got them back again in 1814 (and yet again in 1815).

Why does Monaco still even exit?

You're just jealous because you don't have a coastline, San Marino.

Who needs a coastline when you can look like this instead

Astonishingly beautiful, R46.

OP is an asshole, Monaco is beautiful

Fun fact: Monaco derives its name from a cult title of Hercules, "Monoikos," the "alone-dweller." The myth was that he stayed there on his journeys.

The ONE night in his life Hercules spent alone.

Monaco: "A sunny place for shady people."

Apparently, OP is going to an alt-right conference there:

[quote] The progressives chose islam, which wants to kill us, and trans, which seeks to erase us. The left is not our friend.

Because I don't think Russian trolls would be meeting there.

R51 = party bore with every last tired quip on its lips.

Albert's destruction of the legendary art deco Sporting d'Hiver has really shitted off people in Monaco no end. It was utterly beyond belief. The building was looking tired inside, but could have been restored into something breathtaking. Instead, he allowed to be replaced with more crap apartments. This came on top of a wave of historic destructions in the principality that have continued. It's really really sad.

Pfft!

OP = very thinly disguised humblebrag

Most girls would give their eyes to see Monte!

Fanny Ardant was raised there.

I watched one of those ‘list of the richest European royal families’ YouTube videos which said that the Grimaldis are richer than the British Royal Family. And that Luxembourg and Liechtenstein are even richer! I guess that proves how lucrative banking (aka money laundering) really is.

The brother of one of my exes works there. In "banking". Good for him, I guess.

Watch this movie, OP.

The government's suoer shady. TONS of apartments shoved in cheek by jowl so rich crooks can claim residency, then funnel their blood money through there and not pay taxes.

OP's going to Monaco!

TRIP ADVISOR

[quote]“Overrated, high-class slum.” - 2 stars - I have been to Monte Carlo several times, first time was around 1975. At that time the buildings were classy architecture, and the atmosphere pleasant. The harbour was stuffed with beautiful sailing-yachts. Now cheap-looking close placed high-rise apartments catch the eye, the beautiful yachts has moved to St. Tropez, and Monte Carlo now has 1000 police-officers to guard or watch the 32.000 inhabitants. If you think rich people are awesome, go there. Otherwise find someplace better like classy Cannes, vivid Nice or St. Tropez. MonteCarlo now is a ridicoulous joke. Monaco's train station is situated in France, their vaudeville army is useless and they are protected by France - think about it. Not worth visiting anymore.

What happened to that male nurse who lit the penthouse on fire and killed his patient and another nurse?

as trashy as Dubai, but at least it's not full of islamic cunts (not yet)

Its been years, but I recall walking everywhere. The casino and hotel de paris are on the same higher level, then down to the water for a stroll along the yacht basin and up another hill to see the palace, which is tiny and disappointing. The cathedral is a few steps away. as is a cactus succulent garden. hop on a train to Cannes and Nice (beaches are rocks. I enjoyed a day trip to Eze, a little mountain village where they make perfume. We stayed at what was Leow's hotel - grand prix goes under it.

Eze is the poor man's Grasse

I prefer Monte Carlo.

U idiot. ^^

Now determine why, r69

^irony deprived

[quote]Most girls would give their eyes to see Monte!

I think it's a bit artificial....

I'm devoted to Monte

Nice attempt at a save, r71

Watch out for the succulents and cacti around the palace and gardens. Sometimes they break and squash people to death, horribly and painfully.

Prince Rainier started a land reclamation projects several years before his death. Fontvielle is made up from that - all that area used to be water.

I couldn't believe you were serious, R75, so I checked. Sorry for doubting you.

Yes the cacti are lethal, wile the high class call girls at Jimmy'z are simply dangerous and expensive.

R69, remember when pretentious dumb blonde Stephanie on Bob Newhart's show drug everyone off to Morocco, where she'd always wanted to go because the beach and the casinos and Princess Grace sounded so glamorous?

Monaco, or Old Kowloon?

r49 is Princess Tiny Meat

To Catch A Thief is a great old movie to watch.

I only hope the OP is attempting humor. I'll be she's never been out of Flyoverstan.

Be brave OP you'll make it through.

Knots Berry Farm for the 1%

[quote]Nice attempt at a save, [R71]

I’m not the person to whom you were speaking.

“Is This The Party To Whom I Am Speaking…?”

Darlings, everyone says Monaco is the Vegas of Europe, but it's really the Reno.

But just because it's tacky, it doesn't mean it isn't over-priced. Tasteful friends, get a gander at what's supposed to be the world's most expensive apartment.

Are there whores and low caliber people all over Monaco? To me that's what makes Vegas so charming.

Monaco is the Dubai of Europe.

Is Monaco the Vegas of France?

Is Monaco the Mycoplasma genitalium of venal fiscal paradises?

In their dreams!

Don't forget your bain de soleil for a St. Tropez tan.

Princess Grace drove her Rover 3500 off the Route de la Turbie (D37) in Cap d'Ail, just outside Monaco.

Françoise Dorléac lost control of her Renault 10 while exiting La Provençale (A8 autoroute) at the Villeneuve-Loubet offramp, enroute to Nice Airport.

Isadora Duncan's long silk scarf given by Mary Desti, Preston Sturges' mother, became entangled in the rear wheel spokes of an Amilcar CGSS she was riding on the Promenade des Anglais in Nice, and snapped her neck.

Death in the French Riviera...