Let's be an Ancient Roman gay orgy

I'm Amulius, a soldier removing his breastplate.

Another pointless porn thread. Yay.

I'm just here for the orgy videos

I'm the prudish Christians refusing to participate and then getting fed to the lions.

I'm the ubiquitous smegma

I'm this scene from Caligula.

And this one.

Can't be more pointless than your Gossip Girl thread, Cunt R2.

R2 Another pointless comment, yay. Then again, it is DL, so pointless is kind of the point.

Is OP’s life so empty that he actually has the time to sit around and come up with these ridiculata threads? Beyond annoying. Thread closed.

I'm the marble statues watching everything.

R10 Doesn't seem like your life is so full if you have time to snark in such a thread.

Yes, Gossip Girl discussion is more pointless than a thread about “I’m the bed in the porn”.

Grow up already.

Ignore R2/R10. He made a thread about liking Taco Bell. BLOCKED.

Liking Taco Bell is a better thread than “what are you in a gay porn scene”

Are you not like 60? Grow up

I'm the disgusting high priests that abused their power.

I'm the mulsum.

Was this the porn in R7 that Scott Bakula did after [italic]Quantum Leap[/italic]? Such a cuddler!

I'm the oysters eaten as an aphrodisiac.

I proudly display my preference for snails over oysters.

I'm the large marble phallus in the mens bath about to be used.

I'm the hairy bushes and curly manfros.

Senator Graham, don't you have things to do? Do you really have to time to start threads like this on DL?

I’m the extra virgin olive oil being used on the extra virgin holes

I'm the vomitorium used after you've swallowed too much cum.

I'm the headband on poor Proculus' head as he starts to realize what Caligula is about to do to him.

I'm the FATTIES being disinvited from the party

I'm the ripe lack of showering.

I'm the lead wine vessels everyone uses for their wine my lead leaches easily into the wine making everyone act a bit crazy and uninhibited.

Im olive oil. the lube of antiquity.

I’m the lack of surprise when a giant schlong is presented, because most Romans go commando.

I’m the communal sponge on a stick that you may use to clean your bum.

r29, ancient romans LIVED for taking baths! they were probably cleaner than you.

True R34

[quote]Another pointless porn thread. Yay.

I see the eunuch is here. Eunuch, bring me more wine!

I just cleaned out and pre-lubed. Who wants to fist me?

Porn is never pointless r2!

R38 it can be condensed into one thread. It’s pointless to make a new thread for each question, scene or porn star discovered.

I laughed for 5 minutes at R36.

[quote]Liking Taco Bell is a better thread than “what are you in a gay porn scene”

Debatable.

In Soviet Rome, “gay orgy” was when man secretly lie on woman and try to do sex.

Stillll waiting on the real orgy porn. C'mon.

I'm Nero's depravity.

I'm taking delight in all of the foreskin and none of the men being mutilated.

Except the Christians.

I'm taking delight in the Christians being thrown to the lions.

I’m Biggus Dickus.

I'm the flowy, Roman tunics everywhere.

It may be a gay orgy, but we should tap into all the experts when selecting the participants.

I'm the calamistrum being used for something other than curling hair.

I'm a strapping young shepherd, unused to decadent ways of the city...

It's all good, Bro!

Nips to the day.

We don't understand why no one is talking to us or buying us drinks. Hee!

I'm the special meat pie served up by master chef Titus Andronicus to Queen Tamara.

EPIC FAIL, op. EPIC.

I’m the cow udders, stuffed with meat , fruit, and spices and steamed to perfection. I’m the favorite snack and will be indulged after the orgy.

I'm looking for Greek bottoms not a Roman ones. Romans have cleaner assholes but Greeks make much better power bottoms.

r57 your post, in content and execution? yes. yes it is.

I have NEVER been a "Tammy."

I'm Priapus. You can touch me for good luck.

R62 Love this guy. He was sort of the cock Bogeyman back in the day. Cross him and find out that a cock really can be too big.

Yuck look at the size of that foreskin!!

Yum, all the more to suck!!

R57 This thread has a great potential. We haven't even mentioned The Satyricon of Petronius Arbiter, the Emperor Heliogabalus, Antinous and Christians dipped in pitch ( and set afire) to name a few. I'm not the OP.

I am a virginal servant who will have more seed in him by the end of the night than an entire vineyard

I'm the tintinnabulum hanging outside the door so that people in-the-know will know what's happening tonight.

R67 Oh yes, sore and just oozing in down your thighs.

I'm the brothel with a fresh crop of virgins I have a line outside my door of senators and other high ranking officials waiting for their turn.

I'm the tersorium (sponge on the stick) provided for those guests who don't want to use the edge of their togas.

R33 I stand corrected : I'm the second tersorium at the orgy. The crowd was so large that more than one had to be shared. Also, the dormice dipped in honey gave everyone the shits.

OP what’s source of your picture?

I'm the glirarium used to keep the edible dormice appetizers.

From a history of the Emperor Elagabalus (aka Heliogabalus) who prostituted himself all over Rome, even in his own palace:

[quote]Finally, he set aside a room in the palace and there committed his indecencies, always standing nude at the door of the room, as the harlots do, and shaking the curtain which hung from gold rings, while in a soft and melting voice he solicited the passers-by. There were, of course, men who had been specially instructed to play their part. For, as in other matters, so in this business, too, he had numerous agents who sought out those who could best please him by their foulness. He would collect money from his patrons and give himself airs over his gains; he would also dispute with his associates in this shameful occupation, claiming that he had more lovers than they and took in more money.

I shall be he.

I'm a haughty, decadent emperor of the tumultuous third century awaiting a fresh catamite, who will be brought in to me by hunky prætorian guards wearing gold underwear that I myself designed. Postquam puero illo functus ero, forsitan et cum prætoriis ipsis delecter, tempus enim fugit et multum quidem ante vincendum est quam ego vincar.

R76 I'm the guard on the left, hoping that this catamite will be enough to polish off the emperor's appetite, as he was the last one in the bin.

Also, I am the checkout girl at the slave market, vainly searching a slave for the barcode so I can scan him ... or maybe I just had a little too much opium this morning.

Funny R2 are you not responsible for starting this “post a photo of your favorite porn actor” thread? And also, gender does matter. Immensely.