Entraped and Blackmailed on Grindr - HELP ME

Girl, you in danger!

Seriously, call Grindr and present this case. The guy is probably not 18 or 16.

Good luck.

As you already know OP, It's a scam. Tell him to go piss up a tree. You've already reported it. The person behind this is in Russia or Nigeria. They have thousands of these same convos going on all the apps and sites. They won't miss you.

He now has my phone number and his texting me saying "Hello? Hello?" This is really freaking me out.

Punch and delete

Thanks for the advice, R2. I thought it was probably a scam. He is very persistent and will not let this go.

It’s absolutely a scam. Tell him you’ve contacted the police and your lawyer and any further communication will be through them.

Don't chase after risky barely legal jailbait. How old are you, should you really be trying to meet up with an 18 year old?

But anyway, I agree that this is probably just some scammer operation trying to get money.

Won't his text messages reveal that you were trying to confirm that he was 18? Or your text messages?

I'm being totally paranoid, right? I really have done nothing wrong here? He was scaring me and I'm very gullible unfortunately.

IIRC, the legal age in Massachusetts is 16. You should find out what it is for your state.

Then, tell him it’s 16 (true or not), and tell him you will have him arrested for blackmail, a felony, if he contacts you again.

16 year olds don't have big enough balls to attempt this (I'd imagine? Let's ask OP!)

Yes, R8. I very clearly texted, "Bring an ID so I can make sure that you are 18."

Go to the police. You have screenshots proving you were not paying for sex with a minor.

Just contact the police. You really didn't do anything wrong if you tried to confirm he was 18 and have texts to prove it. Putting the reason for the Paypal transaction was also smart. Handle this before he starts getting your family involved. I guarantee the person on the other end of that convo isn't 16 and he'll go down for blackmail.

Entraped?

At the very least, go to the Grammar Police ASAP!

Someone lying about their age does not protect you from statutory rape charges. Let's say this was a real 16 year old, who said he was 18 and showed up with a fake ID. If 16 is under the age of consent in OP's state, he is STILL liable for statutory rape charges regardless of the deception.

That is why chasing after jailbait really can land you in jail guys.

CALL THE POLICE, IDIOT.

When ents begin raping black mails via Grindr I begin to wonder what Buck would do.

OP, call a lawyer before calling the police. Even if you're 100% in the right, with pedo issues things can go downhill FAST and you can get steamrolled, costing you tons in lawyers fees to get back to where you should have been to begin with. This happened to a family member when I myself was a child and I will forever remember the whole circus (years long) that resulted from one deranged and completely unfounded accusation. I totally respect police officers and investigators, but with these kinds of things you've got to protect yourself first!

A Lyft? Couldn't you send a limo Mr. Singer?

Well now we know why Miss Lindsay's been in such a pissy mood lately.

Never happened. FAKE NEWS .

Methinks Mr. OP may be a tad embarrassed and ashamed. Either that or he's on the phone talking to a lawyer...on Grindr.

[quote]Someone lying about their age does not protect you from statutory rape charges.

No statutory rape without sex.

Of course I recognize OP did not have sex with this person, nor do I actually think there was ever a 16 year old involved in this situation. I was giving a warning r25.

You can pay for someone‘s uber using ur uber. Just put in their pickup address.

Glad I like men over 30.

I would call the police and teach this fucker a lesson about blackmailing people.

R20 is right. It doesn't matter that OP did nothing wrong and is in the right. If the scammer publicly accuses him of being a pedophile then OP's screwed.

OP, relax. Simply block him in every way you can. Make sure you hang on to the correspondence claiming he was18. You'll be fine.

Seriously. Don't let this prey on your mind, and don't give that fuckbag a cent.

Scammer operations don't "go public", that is just a scare tactic. They are criminals running an illegal blackmail ring. They just want to get people to give them money and move on to their next mark.

It sounds like a scam, OP.

So just how may times DID you see Call Me By Your Name?

0/10

Scam Alert! He's probably done this to a number of other guys as well. And I seriously doubt that he's 16 - likely quite a bit older.

Just let this run its course and ignore him.

Then go to the authorities.

You and Grindr would have the transcript of your requirements that he be 18 if this is true. So I don't know why you're worried.

Only if you're a closet case and you can't be involved with police in front of your wife or something would you worry.

Creepy

OP, do you usually pay for transportation for your hookups? Not having money to pay his own way is a huge red flag for most people. Too desperate.

Sounds like a typical Gen Zer.

Thank you for calming my nerves, everyone. This is very MARY, but I was in a cold sweaty panic when I thought this was actually real. I almost fell for one of those stupid IRS tax scams recently so I'm clearly the perfect mark for these people.

I did some research online and this particular scam/scenario is apparently very popular on Grindr.

if it goes public say you were hacked.

R39 glad you're not sweating it anymore.

I've gotten a ton of requests of have cyber sex via Tumblr. I always say "how old are you?" If they are evasive, or they even say 18 I block them. They're clearly 50 year old men trying to blackmail. Scumbags.

2/10

reddit.com/r/legaladvice

Let me guess...OP is a man of a particular age looking for the company of a hairless youth. Word of advice...hairless youths on dating apps usually want hairless youths on dating apps. Too good to be true is just that...

No one's gonna save you, you're in sorry shape.

Fight it all you want to, there's no way to escape!

I don't know if OP is real or not -- I kind of suspect not -- but if you are over the age of 20 and find yourself paying a broke teenager who is probably living at home with his parents to take a Lyft to your flat so he can show you his driver's license and prove he's legal, stop yourself. No good can come of it.

Seriously, R46.

I'd say call his bluff. Tell him you are turning all the correspondence over to the cops. That'll probably put a scare into him. Fact is he's probably a 45 year old morbidly obese walrus.

I know right..R46.!!!! OP is beyond dumb

Don't respond to him. Block his number, change your phone number and your email address, and set up a Google Voice account in the future for these trysts. If he tries to contact you in any way, flag it as spam. He will give up eventually. Save all the chats just in case he tries to escalate the situation. It's possible he is in China or Russia as has already been stated.

I got one of those "We hacked you and recorded you watching porn" extortion emails a few months ago at an old AOL account I keep around for signing into stuff online. I just deleted it; nothing further.

This sound familiar OP?

I still remember when a “friend” borrowed $40 from me, then ghosted me. I forgot the things people do for chump-change. I never even slept with him. It wasn’t an intimate relationship.

Later, he called me on two seperate occasions, looking for a place to stay, as he became homeless. Nope, sorry, boy!

He got married to a guy. I don’t suspect he has a bright future ahead.

R40 = Joy Reid

Stupid people's problem.

I would've cut off all contact the moment he asked for Lyft money. That would have been the deal breaker right there. I'm too damn greedy and poor to give up my money willy-nilly to every twink on Grindr. Even if it was legit, he might not even show up anyway. He could just take the money and spend it on cigarettes, McDonalds, or some other bullshit and then you'd have just wasted $21. You must be very desperate and lonely.

Yeah the needing Uber/Lyft money or cab fare would have stuck a fork in it for me too.

If anyone alludes to not having their own place or a car, I'm done. I've had guys say they can't host, but then when I say I can and their response is "I don't have a car either and would need a ride," I shut it down.

Don't want no scrubs...

why ANYONE would respond to a profile of an 18 year old is beyond me. grow the fuck up

Such a mature response, r58

"You can't cheat an honest man."

Someone who's so desperate to fuck a teenager* that he'll PayPal for a Lyft and provide his real name and home address is an easy mark.

*The only reason you care if he's "18," is so it won't be illegal.

So glad I'm not into twinks

I'll admit to sending an Uber to transport a hookup a few times when I was on biz trips. It always worked out great (they weren't escorts). However, they weren't minors either. I offered to do it especially when the guy had to rely on public transportation or my hotel parking was expensive or problematic. What the hell, I was horny and it makes things easier. Uber in some smaller cities can be very cheap.

Don't sweat it, OP. It's bullshit. He won't do anything, and even if he does, you've documented that you're keeping it above-board. Just take screenshots of everything, and if the authorities contact you, provide those. But don't say anything to the police, etc. without a lawyer, regardless of the strength of your evidence.

Have a great Monday, and don't sweat this.

Pay him and tip him and keep paying. It's better than winding up in Cell Block H

R58 is right and you know it r59. OP is no doubt well over double the age of 18 and should not be chasing after high school aged boys.

^ Paying him is akin to admitting to guilt. Don't give them any money.

File a police report to protect yourself and ask that this blackmail scam be investigated. If it's coming out of Nigeria, where many scams originate, there may not be anything LE here in the States can do but at least you've protected yourself. Save all of your screen shots and other proof. Print out hard copies if you can. Don't pay them anything. In fact, stop replying and end communication. I doubt the people involved in this (it's not one person) are 16, and are more likely twice that age. As far as your family if they are contacted don't go into detail. The less you say the better. Then, for the future, stop contacting 18 yr olds because as you've learned they might really be 16 posing as 18. It's just too risky. If you're really that into younger find someone older, like in their 20s. Just as good and not as risky. Stay away from teenagers.

I would not call the police. I would ignore scammer.

The world of the desperate homosexual is a strange and dangerous one.

You seem to have dodged the question of how old you are, OP.

Does anyone ever really ask Grindr dates to bring ID???

I had a stalking situation once from these dating apps. Thankfully, I didn't give him my real name. Giving your real name opens you up for all sorts of problems

Yep r69. Very noticeable how OP doesn't want to admit that.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Easy rule of thumb: if someone even looks young enough that you would need to ask for ID, stay away. Treat potential hookups like a convenience store clerk treats someone trying to buy cigarettes.

Thank god I'm into daddies. I don't have to deal with this nonsense.

It's probably a lesbian sous chef.

Did Mary OP at least obtain verificatia of scammer sizemeat?

You're going DOWN, OP. (And not in a good way.)

Unless you know someone prior, always meet strangers somewhere like a Starbucks or a store or busy public place the first time. Not everyone lies but most do.

Call me!

Assuming this is real, I believe the first mistake was PayPal-ing a supposedly broke 18 year old you met on a hook-up app Lyft money to come to your place. I wouldn't PayPal anyone I met on a hook-up app money to take a car to meet me, regardless of their age. Giant red flag. It should have been IGNORE BLOCK from that moment on.

I don't like young-looking guys so I've never run into these kinds of situations, but when I hear about them they always seems weird and scary. Or scams. I'm also surprised how lax the laws are state by state. Like, someone can just lie and claim they are of legal age, even show a fake ID, and then point the finger after the fact and the law takes the underage person's side? Is that how it works? It seems so.

Also, if this had happened to me I would have been sure it was a scam and I probably would have reported it to Grindr at the most, and then just ignored the person, even if they sent weird photos of my family's names on their computer screen using my PayPal email or whatever. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

And, you have to ask yourself if your family members DID get a weird email with photos of chats and stuff, from a supposed kid, saying you did this, how would they react? Despite the maybe not being out of the closet thing... couldn't they also think it was a scam? Depending how smart and savvy they were? Maybe I'm under-thinking that. But...

Remember that weird email scam from like 10 years ago that would hack your address book and send everyone an email from you saying you were trapped in a foreign country and lost your luggage and money and needed a wire transfer?

Call a criminal lawyer and get a recommendation - probably one that specializes in gay issues and has experience with entrapment. There used to be a few lawyers who would specialize in helping gay men who were caught in flagrante delicto by police, a la George Michael, or arrested for solicitation by propositioning an undercover police officer.

I agree with what some responses are -- get a jump on things by telling him that you've already told the police about the situation -- that this guy (or girl) is running a con. Chances are, they'll back down.

You could also tell him you know some who works in law enforcement, and that they've seen this kind of thing before, so you're not falling for it.

Unless you're blowing smoke up our asses, in which case you can go back under your bridge.

Block him on Grindr and from your phone and get on with your life. No real reason to even bother threatening him with cops and lawyers.

And in the future, gramps, if he's young enough that you need him to bring an ID, he's too young for you. And if he's broke enough to need carfare, move on.

[quote]I agree with what some responses are -- get a jump on things by telling him that you've already told the police about the situation -- that this guy (or girl) is running a con. Chances are, they'll back down.

And, if he's not running a con and reports OP to the police?

OP needs to get a clear picture of how the law in his jurisdiction will view this situation, not make guesses. Only then, can he make a fact-based and rational decision about the best course of action.

It probably is an attempt to scam money. But, these days, you have no idea how malicious someone might be.

You almost fell for a tax scam? OP, honey, just *how* incredibly fucking uselessly stupid are you? How have you made it to adulthood? We're all dying to know.

I'm 40. I usually go for older, sometimes much older, guys, but this 18-year-old was coming onto me really hard and I thought why not do everything once. I'm really not someone who normally goes after young twinks. That's never been my thing at all. I'm a very kind, normal, and nice person, and admittedly sometimes gullible and naive. Even though I now believe this was a scam, I am still shaken by the experience and although I know that I am a victim, there's a small part of me that is still afraid of being in trouble for something when, of course, I've done nothing wrong. I am starting to agree with everyone that this person was only posing as a 16-year-old and was probably much older.

I was thinking about Ann Dowd's performance in the movie "Compliance." If you're familiar with that movie, that is kind of how I feel now. Thank you for your answers in this thread. As well as that article that described exactly what happened to me. They have really helped calm me down. I'm thinking that I managed to get out of this exchange just before things progressed really badly.

I think I'm going to take a break from hook-up apps after this for awhile.

R85 Oh Mary, stop glorifying your whore behavior, you are no victim, you wanted young flesh against your sagging tits, and for that old men do pay. And FFS, if your trade needs to show I.D. it is a fucked up situation. Grody

OP, get legal representation beforehand if you go to the police.

R39, OP Lately I have done this when I get a "you have several tax fraud charges against you, call this number NOW before you are arrested at your place of employment. Law enforcement is on it's way." I call the number back and say "Yes, I have reported you to the IRS and law enforcement and they are on their way to arrest YOU for impersonating an IRS officer and/or a law enforcement officer and for attempted extortion." Without fail, they hang up before I can finish speaking. Stop being so gullible.

Your screenshots are proof of this person committing felony extortion. That’s a big deal. And if you’ve already reported the matter to Grindr and also blocked him on Grindr and your phone, I think you’ve done everything right. I don’t see a reason to get law enforcement involved.

This person is most likely well onto their next mark and are still quite surprised by how just far they got with you.

You should have proposed marriage.

R85 you got this... although, you should be shaken up at least a little by this situation. How can you not be... This is a great lesson and thread for those of us looking for hookups. I wish you peace.

R91 A warning for those who want to fuck barely legal babies.

[quote] I'm also surprised how lax the laws are state by state. Like, someone can just lie and claim they are of legal age, even show a fake ID, and then point the finger after the fact and the law takes the underage person's side? Is that how it works? It seems so.

Because anyone who wants to fuck someone young enough they'd have to show ID (often knowing the ID will be fake anyway) has basically outed himself as a pedo, or excuse me, a "hebe".

The cops and courts have seen ALL the excuses.

Your young man has arrived on your doorstep - he's waiting for you.

The problem is tis could happen to anyone and has little to do with the ages of the two involved. Anyone can grab your screen pics and threaten to send them to employers or parents (especially if you're not completely out).

I assumed this would be a thread about being anally violated by a Lord of the Rings character.

I'm sorely disappointed.

Are there any lawyers on here who know how this type of sting legitimately takes place? I'm actually a lawyer, but not in the criminal area, so this is interesting to me. I remember reading some articles not too long ago on some prostitution/underage sex rings in my city. I do know the state made several arrests (despite no sexual contact occurring, as it was the police posing as underage women and coaxing adult men to hotels and arresting them upon entering the room). Am I incorrect in stating that unless sex has actually occurred, a person can't be charged with statutory rape? Is there is an underlying crime for solicitation of a minor for sex? I'm a smart guy, but criminal law is way beyond my grasp.

Did OP say how the sex was?

Re: the underlying threat, I'm cautiously inclined to say that nothing of substance occurred to actually warrant any criminal prosecution. You talked to a guy who claimed he was 18. You expressly gave him money for a ride, and at no point did any exchange occur regarding payment for sex. There doesn't seem to be a criminal violation in that set of facts. Had an underage guy showed up and contact occurred, then there would be a problem.

Help me! I've been raped by an ent!

Oh the splinters! They hurt so bad!

Sending an underage guy pics! duh

I know a guy. Girl was 14. She said 18. He could prove it. Maybe his sentence may not as bad as it could have been, but jail time and a sex offender.

But was there sex involved in that case, R102? OP cut off all contact and never met up with this guy.

I feel like the fact that this guy is now blackmailing him is enough to call it a scam. Wouldn’t a person assume that you have made screenshots of all the threats they’ve made?

[quote]Am I incorrect in stating that unless sex has actually occurred, a person can't be charged with statutory rape?

Yes, but soliciting a minor for sex is also a crime, whether in person or not.

Sending the pics was a charge for like every one he sent.

He had a special cell and schedule for statuary rapists!

Google “Grindr blackmail scam.” This has become a common scam targeting the gay community. There was no minor. All they need is for you to think that you’re talking to a minor and then use that as their main basis for extorting you.

This wouldn't have happend on craigslist!

[quote]statuary rapists!

OUCH!

R97, how did you pass the bar?

R97, how did you pass the bar?

"He said he did not have money for a Lyft so I said that I would PayPal him Lyft fare."

I'm sorry, I can't stop laughing at this.

Watch the new Gillette commercial be the best man you can be.

I studied really hard and passed......? While I can appreciate the snark and from where it stems, most attorneys specialize in only a few, if not only one, particular field. They (normally) do not retain knowledge on laws irrelevant to their specialization. I'm simply curious if there are any criminal attorneys who have first-hand knowledge of such matters, not any attorney who may have some inkling simply because they passed a bar exam decades ago. If you do have such knowledge, feel free to answer as I would greatly appreciate it. If not, you're not really adding anything of worth to this discussion.

Youve done NOTHING wrong. Tell him to feck off as we Irish say. 🙄 Try to move on. Little prick.

Delete your grindr account and block the number? You haven't broken any law.

Just block any form of contact and change your phone number if that doesn’t work. Does the scammer know your address OP if you paid for him to get a Lyft to yours??

R119, he does have my address, unfortunately, but I haven’t heard anything from him since I blocked him on Grindr and reported him.

I know that I was dumb as shit here and luckily got out of this before things went to hell. But I appreciate the people on this thread who helped calm me down and we’re understand and weren’t complete assholes about the whole thing. I feel stupid and shaken enough as it is.

This is becoming a common scam that folks should look out for. Anyone can suddenly claim that they are underage midway through a conversation and trigger an extortion scheme. Just be careful.

Thanks, again.

Mainly,

I belong to a couple of gay guy FB groups where really young guys will post and it’s unbelievable how many guys hit them up.

Then every once in a while one of the older guys cries about getting snared like OP did.

All I have to say is thank the LORD for being able to block the teens.

How does one paypal Lyft fare? Did you use Paypal to pay his Lyft ride? Lyft uses an app that has to be paid directly.

If you did use paypal, he wouldn't know your name as the payment goes to Lyft, not to the rider.

This whole story smells fishy

[quote] He said he did not have money for a Lyft so I said that I would PayPal him Lyft fare. He provided me with an email address and then I sent him $21 and put in the description of the transaction "Lyft fare."

You can't pay Lyft in cash.

I PayPal’d him money directly for the Lyft. And put “Lyft fare” in the note of the transfer. I tried to just order the Lyft for him directly but he said he couldn’t give out his parents’ address. Yet, I idiotically gave him mine.

Listen, I’m really stupid here but this is something that actually happened. It’s not “fishy” or as EST.

I raped a statuTe

Still waiting for verificatia of scammer sizemeat.

Tough shit, Lindsey. You're going down. Again.

There is no minor. There never was a minor. This could be Trump’s proverbial 400-lb man on a bed somewhere. Or even a frau running a scam from her kitchen.

[quote]There is no minor. There never was a minor.

Yes, hon, we all figured that out long ago.

I wonder how the entrapper (sp?) manages to position themselves geographically near people they may be thousands of miles away from?

Is this E.S.T. still going?

[html removed][html removed][html removed][html removed]via me.me[html removed][html removed]

There's nothing new under the sun. Decades ago, my dad told me he picked up a young female hitchhiker. At one point during the ride, she told him that if he didn't give her money, she would claim he raped her. He was so angry he pulled the car over, reached across her, opened the door, and pushed her out of the car.

Sorry OP, I always wondering why all those hot 18 y/o where DMing in Grindr. Glad I never engaged. It sounds way too elaborate for a 16 y/o but maybe go to one of those lgbt .org for domestic violence and present the case. That may make u feel better. In NYC is one, its called AVP.

R134 I've noticed that myself. In my area there's been a sudden surge of "just joined" profiles of younger guys. In my area, that's unusual, it's sorta rural with no apartments or housing with lots of turnover. What's weird is that they don't appear to be robots, but actual profiles, of course with fake pictures.

You can Google this - four Aus teens were prosecuted for sexual extortion.

First things first, if I remember correctly, you can't even have a PayPal account if you are under 18... not even with parental permission. So, I'm assuming this is a big bunch of bullshit. He's probably over 18, but report his PayPal account anyway, and send them the screenshots. And let's say he does call your family... just play it cool, because more normal people wouldn't waste their time of day with some stranger saying crazy shit to them. Just calm down. Because if everything you say is true, you have proof that you weren't trying to hook up with a minor.

You were raped by an Ent?

Oh my god I finally just figured out from where all these Ent-raping/Splinter jokes stem. That's cute.

You'll wish you were never born! Blackmail, blackmail.

Dearest Eldergays

Everything you post on the internet, unless you are using the Tor browser, which none of you are as you don't know what that is, can be copied in a second and made into a permanent record, and your identity , address, workplace, and entire list of contacts are a doddle to find, or hack into. Got that? Those 'dating' apps are perfect for blackmailers who can exploit closeted guys and anyone who is into anything sexual they don't want their boss, mother, etc knowing about.

Please wise up. These are not private spaces.

Just send him on an all expense paid trip to Chuck-E-Cheese and be done with it

I recently discovered the site Fast People Search, which is both alarming and disturbing in the amount of personal information one is able to access either by a name, address or telephone number.

So OP have you learned how to properly spell that word now?

There’s a hookup app called Grizzly. Don’t sign up, it’s nothing but fake profiles.