Are you your parents favorite ?

[quote]I only recently found out through wills and such.

It took you until you were an adult to find this out?

I was everyone's favorite.

& yes, my brothers hate me and were THRILLED I began to find life so difficult when I became an adult.

**just want to add - the competition wasn't strong.

R1 I don’t wish bad things on my brother. It’s not really his fault. But at the same time I can’t bear to be close to him.

R3=op

Do parents favor the straight or gay offsprings ?

I think the youngest child tends to be the favorite, which can be both a blessing & a curse. I'm the youngest of three, this is how my parents would introduce us, even after we became adults: "This is our eldest son, this is our daughter, and this is the baby."

R6 But the oldest one was once the only child and the only one they loved. How could they abandon the oldest when the younger ones come along ?

In a fair world good parents love each and everyone equally.

Yeah, but they don’t. I learned to live with it. My bro had some tragedy in his life as an adult so it’s hard to resent him. That happened after our parents died, though. Anyway, he couldn’t help it if they liked him better.

My older brother was my mom’s favorite and it bothered me because I was the one who got good grades and stayed out of trouble.

R10 Maybe they didn’t think you need as much attention as your brother.

I was my Mom's favorite. My older brother was my Dad's favorite. I came out to my Mom over the phone, when I was 18. I was told there was a hysterical melt-down, with my parents accusing each other of playing favorites. My little sister overheard the argument, and was devastated that she wasn't either parents favorite. Later in life, my brother was largely absent, and I eventually became my Dad's favorite, too. I was a very devoted gay son. I looked out for my parents, and cared for them when they went downhill.

My father had little use for me, but my mother has a preference for me she tries to hide. I am more fun and less serious than my brother and sister.

Being a favorite is not necessarily a good thing. It creates an excessive dependence on being the favorite in all situations - which leads to low self esteem and neurotic behavior. You learn to depend on others high opinion of you - instead of developing a self worth independent of others opinions.

Our sister is daddy’s girl. Bitch!

There is seven of us. No question who was the favorites (three) as Mom always let us know who they were.

I'm my mother's favourite.

I’m probably my mom’s favorite, definitely not my dad’s. Actually it’s a good question who’s my dad’s. I’ll ask my mom next time I see her.

I was the favorite of my mother and father, I was also the favored by both sets of grandparents. I think that's why my older brother developed a huge inferiority complex

It’s bad parenting to have obvious favorites. It sets the stage for bad sibling relations after the parents are long dead and gone.

I was a scapegoat child to two separated parents. Imagine that, no relief from that dynamic, even on "weekend visitation" to my father's house. It has given me a sense of humour and the mother who didn't protect me after separating from my abusive father and instead seemed relieved that he had access to me to physically abuse instead of he, died of her hitherto "unknown" functional alcoholism at age 59.....on my birthday. I'm not too confident that she didn't wait to draw her last breath so that I wouldn't always think on her on my birthday, after not kicking the bucket three days before on the birthday that both my brother and daughter share.

I couldn't even have a sigh of relief mixed with "pathos". Mother even "got back" at me through her will, too. However, the perfect family that needed me to be gone to make it even more perfect is falling apart , my two siblings for my mother are messes, my own spoilt by my parents adult daughter who they turned against me is now out of my life until she decides to act right and I'm still standing . Finally at near fifty , confident in my "hard boundaries", sorting out my life in order to emigrate and live on a bit of land that I wisely bought in my father's home country. I won't wait for that one to die. He's too wicked not to live until near one hundred. My hate would be a waste of MY time alone.

R11 That’s true. Because my brother was such a handful for my mom I kept my head down and tried to stay clear of the drama.

Well they are all dead now so I guess I am the favorite. There was just me and my older brother, I never got in any type of trouble, the FBI came knocking on our front door for my brother when he was still a minor. My father got my brother a job working for a friends business, my brother got fired for stealing. Seemed like the cops were always after my brother for something, he was five years older and we were never close, so I really don't know what all he was into. Stealing, drugs, knocking up girls, dropped out of high school, kicked out of the army, couldn't keep a job and he eventually committed suicide. Only thing he ever did for my parents was give them grandchildren, something I didn't since I was gay and the idea of sex with a woman was, well disgusting. Think I win, but as someone said above the bar wasn't high, not nearly as high as my brother normally was. My mother always said she was glad I was born second she couldn't have handled my brother when she was older.

[quote]It’s bad parenting to have obvious favorites.

No kidding.

[quote] It sets the stage for bad sibling relations after the parents are long dead and gone.

Yes.

One thing that has worked for me being the favorite is that I didn't develop a jealous personality. It's just not part of my nature. Other problems, yes, plenty, but not that.

When I was a child, my brother was very clearly both parents' favorite, and it caused a rift between us that has not and will not heal. As we both became adults, my father began to realise the similarities we shared, and for the last decade he was alive, according to everyone around him, all he could talk about was me and the success I attained. However, both parents blamed each other for my homosexuality (although I never understood why my mother blamed my father), and I heard from both my brother and my sister that my father blamed my mother for ruining me on the whole concept of marriage. Fast forward to when gay marriage became possible, and my husband and I married but invited neither of our families, instead opting for a private and quiet JP ceremony.

I am the oldest of five, defiantly not the favorite, more likely the least favorite.

Out of 4 children in our family I was my mother's favorite, but I think it was because I had quite a few problems growing up and she was concerned about me. But she did love the other kids as well and didn't ignore them. She was a great Mom.

My Mimi (grandmother) was a real character. She loved me and my older brother but almost completely ignored my sister and younger brother.

On one of the last occasions that I saw her she walked right past my younger brother as though he didn't exist, came up to me and gave me a big hug. But hey, it's nice to be loved!

Fuck your Mimi, she sounds like a bitch.