Is there a correlation between a gay man’s income/wealth and coming out of the closet at a later age?

Totally unrelated but I'm starting to realize why the gay community thinks women don't like sex. Because of all the gay men who had wives and the wives never had a clue the sex lacked the spark.

but my earnings .... aren’t translating into gainful employment.

Interesting never thought about it.

He is 27 and divorced? Who is getting married that young these days?

Several surveys prove that most out LGBT people make significantly less money than their straight coworkers in the same jobs. We're also passed over for raises and promotions. "But I have a family!" is the excuse str8s use to give themselves more money.

Other surveys now claim the opposite, but I think it's biased, based on old surveys in "upscale" rags like Instinct.

Differing stats in this articles; lesbians make more!

This focuses on a few people who spent more with the 'gay lifestyle', plus long-term financial differences:

What r2 said. I read that sentence several times and it makes no sense.

I think we identified the reason you are struggling...

This is a great question, Op. All the men I know who came out late in life (aged 30 onward) are professionals like doctors, lawyers, company executives, etc

Should you have gotten a wife and perhaps have been paying child support to a kid you'll hardly ever see?

Gee, I don't know...

Datalounge please validate my self loathing.

If your partner came out at 27, he was not "established" - at least not professionally. A 27 year old is a 3d year associate getting no sleep (at least at a big law firm) and having no life. So no point in comparing yourself to that.

Rich guys fear they're have more to lose if they come out

You should ask his ex-wife how she feels about about him living a lie.

Really? You even have to ask?

Professionals may go further if they are “one of the guys” rather than coming out as gay

You failed up 1 step on the ladder. This is a recipe for permanent unhappiness. You don't really have what it takes to succeed as a professional. In fact you were born to be a sassy shop bottom and content in your modest lifestyle.

I know a lot of wealthy gay guys.

I make $30 million a year and I'm in the closet! I guess that proves your point!

R12 is correct. You guys are in your mid twenties. Neither of you are "established", you are at the beginning of your career.

don't think it's about money. who is afraid of fear, and who can overcome it?

OP, your question is too general.

I have found that many of my associates aged 55 and older are not tolerant or accepting and I think are privately likely to discriminate. Maybe that’s different for younger guys, I don’t know. In most cases, you will never know if you’ve been discriminated against - in pay raises, job assignments, training, and opportunity. You will not know.

There are a lot of degrees of “outness”. My advice is to be as “out” as you need to be, but beyond that, be conservative. Context matters, too. A hair stylist may flame away. A programmer is mostly free to express themselves. An Engineer might want to dial it way back. A finance guy may need to dial it all the way back. This is assuming you care about money and your career, vs. freedom of self expression.

If you’ve got a winning personality, or rare and extraordinary skills, then you have more options, too.

I started very young in the insurance business and I have been very successful. I am 65 (been in business 41 years) but only came out to trusted friends and family. I never wanted to come out because of how it would affect my agency. My father would have disowned me if I had come out while he was alive so that added to my issues. I have just decided that being single will be how it will be. I also worry about my inexperience in dating and the fact that I could probably be taken advantage of due to my financial standing. Wish things were different but I accept where I am at.

R11 NAILS IT. Nuff said.

R23, find someone of similar financial standing.

OP, no, you should not have stayed in the closet and married a woman. That sounds like a really shitty and stressful way to live (closeted man, married to a woman). You're still young. I really would not waste any more time wondering about this.