Let's be the secret gay wedding between Jim Nabors and Rock Hudson

I'm Rock's T cells. Plentiful and unsuspecting.

I am the bottom of the Pyle.

I'm Corporal Boyle, the only other gay cast member.

I'll be Paul Lynde, drunkenly singing The Indian Love Call off-key to the underage Taiwanese dishwasher, espied through the kitchen window.

I'm the set of steak knives sent by Doris Day, friend of the bride but "unable to attend."

I'm maid of honor Richard Chamberlain!

I’m Robert Reed. I’ve brought my beard as well as my gift: a box full of condoms. I know you’re married and so anything goes. But still ........

I'm Elizabeth Taylor and I love my Rock and I love my gays and I'm so gloriously drunk and stoned that I thought Rock said he was marrying Kim Novak.

Hee.

You FUCK Kim Novak, you don't MARRY Kim Novak.

Congratshumashions!

I'm Phyllis Gates, peeking over a hedge.

I honestly don't know if this all means my alimony checks stop, or what.

I am the uninterpretable Pillow Talk, reduced to moans and cushion biting.

I'm a tearful Wally Cox, happy for the pair, dreaming of Marlon coming back to me and me alone some fine day...

I'm Lee Remick. Stephen Sondheim brought me, but then he disappeared with Roddy McDowall.

I'm Judy.

Am I still alive when this allegedly took place?

Sorry, Jude. This was 1971. But Liza might have gatecrashed.

Lee, if this is pre-1980, I think Steve and Roddy disappeared only to play anagrams.

I'm the lovely candalabra sent by Liberace, unfortunately on tour.

I'm Tony Perkins, high as fuck on LSD.

We're Tab Hunter and Anthony Perkins' dates for the ceremony.

Lee Remick is a lovely girl (and so funny!), but why haven't any of us seen our guys in over 45 minutes?

We're old friends Debbie Reynolds and Agnes Moorehead.

It was so sweet of Rock to invite us, but what in the world is "scissoring"?

A lot of this humor seems to be going over our heads.

I'm Zsa Zsa Gabor. Security won't let me in and I'm about to slap someone.

I'm Rona Barrett and I'm going on the Irv Kupcinet show in Chicago and tell the world that this is not true, that it was all a lie spread by a group of "vicious homosexuals".

I'm the Jim Nabors portrait that hung on the wall of their bedroom where they consummated their marriage

I'm Joan Crawford, here with my escort, the up and coming young actor George Nader.

After the ceremony, I'll meet him in the darkened poolhouse to consummate our date.

Um, best knock before you go in the pool house, Miss Crawford.

I'm HOLLYWOOD CONFIDENTIAL, and I suspect there are philanderers and wife-swappers at this event!

If it’s a 70’s wedding then I’m the bottles of poppers given out as party favors.

It's ok to have a cup of R26's party favors, yes?

flood my hole, gomer

fill momma's thirsty mussy

thanks for your service

I'm a weeping Roman Gabriel in the back row thinking "It should have been me".

Miti Tuck

I told a friend that this never happened.

I'm Jim Nabors' career, and I'm going straight down the shitter.

My gift

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Many people knew Rock Hudson was queer way before the 1970s.

Many? Most. At least most of the movie going public who were not isolated church going housewives of Flyoveria.

My mother was mad for Rock Hudson, and she took me to see "Lover Come Back" when I was five. On the way home in the car she told me "he does not care for girls."

I’m the 10 year old who heard this rumor in the catholic schoolyard of a small town in Michigan. How it managed to get there in early 70’s I’ll never know.

Same here r37. My dad delivered beer to bars and would always tell the story of delivering beer to a queer bar and there was Jim and rock making out. This was in the Midwest, mid 70's. Wtf?

Rock always had young thangs. Your father was bullshitting you.

I'm the wedding registry in which a blushing groom has signed "Rock Pyle."

I'm Toppy Smelly. I bought some fried chicken for the bride, groom, and the bridesmaids.

I'm the official photograph.

I'm the giggling as the newlyweds bump pussies on their wedding night.

I’m Henry Wilson, who’ll be giving the bride away... just as soon as he figures out which one is the bride.

I'm Rock's REAL love interest.....a hot, younger blonde guy

Hi, Gays it’s me, Mary! Mary Wilson of the Supremes! I’ll show up to the opening of a supermarket, but I love you mo’s more than anything, thanks for keeping my career alive! Touch!

I'm a teenage Kevin Spacey, crashing the wedding

I'm Jim Nabors belting "The Impossible Dream", as I slid my country dick into Rock's bussy.

I'm Lee Majors. Did I have an affair with Rock before or after this wedding?

I’m my friend’s aunt, who swore that when she was a young phone operator she eavesdropped on a call between Rock and Jim where they were discussing their wedding plans.

I'm R51 and I am mad that R49 took my Lee Majors reference!

I'm the honeymoon tiff, after a bitter fight to be the bottom.

Congrats Boys!

I'm the Bridesmaids. We're all Rock's former tricks

Daisy chain after dessert! Exes only, please.

I'm their son, Rockpile.

I'm Rock, telling the people at the main table how hilarious it was to be gay, playing a straight man, playing to to be gay in "Pillow Talk", and Jim laughing WAY too loud.

I'm Carol Burnett and Jim told me if I didn't show up for this fucking farce, he would stop making the annual appearances on my television show. Oh, christ, Liz Taylor just puked on me and I'm going to have to wear the curtains for the rest of the event. Hey, that might work in a comedy sketch some time in the future.