Dionne Warwick in talks to host 91st Academy Awards

Lmao!!!!!

I have a better chance of hosting than she does. I’m a nobody from IL.

Girl, please. 3/4 of the room won't even know who you are.

And the remaining 1/4 will say, "Hunh? I thought she ws dead."

Better than my fat ass taking up 3/4 of the room, heifer.

Dionne Warwick wipes back to front.

Good evening, Academy members and people in TV land.

Re's not here but she is here.

Bitch, this is Hateretha from HEAVEN!! Don't make me swoop down and bitch slap your ass!!

On any given night, this old hag is in bed by 9:30PM and that's with the assistance of various, assorted uppers. How the hell is she going to last through a telecast that often runs past 11:30PM?

Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me... to host the Oscars.

Is this 1986? Way to stay current Oscars.

Will she smoke on stage?

Today (December 12) is Dionne's birthday, by the way.

She'll be able to announce the winners without opening the envelopes!

"And the winner is . . . Re Re Land."

Will there be any zombie movies nominated this year? Do any feature zombie Nippy?

Will Dionne be any good?

Alright, sit down, rollover, play dead, whatever trick it is you do Dionne.

Everyone here knows, Award Shows are my bag.

So move along. Shoo.

The Academy's greatest concern is the "missing 'E' controversy"

Just because she’s the same age as Oscar doesn’t mean she should host!

[quote] The Academy's greatest concern is the "missing 'E' controversy"

I thought Miss Warwick’s drug of choice was pot?

I hear she will be co hosting with Carot Top

I would pay cash money to watch the DL version of Dionne Warwick host the Oscars!

She can call the Psychic Friends Network to divine the winners!

R24, you obviously don’t have enough clairvoyance to find R14’s post.

Maybe, but I knew you'd just have to say something about it, R25.

Can she get released from her engagements at the Borgata?

She hosted Whitney's funeral, why not the Oscars?

I hope she hosted Miss Cleo's funeral too.

Dionne, please....walk on by. Please.

Darcel and the Solid Gold dancers could do the opening number!

Diana ish sho fabuloush, best to berry, but musht say Dionne got this! Diva! Happy to make appearansche. Merry Chrishtmas!

Is she still alive?

Do you know the way to the Oscar podium?

It would be epic... failure.

Get them coins Miss Warwick!

She'll do it for a case of Virginia Slims, a few puffy blunts and a gift certificate to the nearest Hair Cuttery.

"She can call the Psychic Friends Network to divine the winners!"

Or channel the celebrities shown in the 'In Memoriam Montage.'

It’s a shame when a classy singer turns into trash.

[quote]It’s a shame when a classy singer turns into trash.

Let’s not forget her performance in Rent-a-Cop which should have garnered her a Best Supporting Actress nomination for playing a high class madam!

Dionne looks fabulous and she's singing better than ever!

She looks like shit!!!

After party in San Jose...

My opening number will feature me in a nice warm bathtub, a reenactment of my sexy scene in SLAVES (1969). I will also be awarded a special Oscar for this groundbreaking role, well deserved 50 fucking years after the fact.

Janet Jackson will have nothing on me after this, censors gets ready!

R41 she really does!

Does Janet have a nickname? Tuckie perhaps?

Which post is harder to fill? Host of the Academy Awards or White House Chief-of-Staff?

IF YOU WANT A LESBIAN.

Dionne should get an Oscar for passing herself off as a lady all these years. Now that's acting.

I don’t see it happening….

What? Really?

I’m in talks to host next year.

Dionne looked better than Whitney.

Dionne Warwick has a warning for her audience. “I hope you came prepared for what Dionne has prepared,” she offers, before singing a note. “You’re going to be sitting there a long time.”

Initially, at least, you’re gripped by the fear that however long it is, it might be entirely taken up with her opening monologue, which goes on and on like the Yangtze, while a pianist plays gentle chords beneath it.

The between-song patter invariably begins with the words “you know” : “You know, when you’re a performer … ”, “you know, Bacharach and David … ” Band introductions last for about 18 months, and involve a precis of where every musician was born, has lived and is thinking about retiring to.

I have honed my hosting abilities at a series of world-class events held at none other than THE prestigious Borgata Casino and Hotel of Atlantic City, you plebes!

Sounds like this Oscar show could be the longest one yet.

She’ll host the oscars like trump is hosting my next Mary Kay party.

Hey, maybe they can pull the winner envelopes out of her nostrils...

It WOULD be different.

No night so long...

How about Dionne and Gladys?

R54, That's a common trick used by singers who can't sing anymore. Fill up the 90 minutes with lots of banal patter so you don't actually have to sing that much.

If they go with Dionne, then they've just about given up with the movie-going and pop culture public.

Dionne shiwick

R61 Sounds like Whitney on her last tour.

Well hussies, it looks like The Academy is going to have to cut me the check!

I will be busier than ever this awards season, as I will also be collecting my LIFETIME fucking Achievement Awards from the Grammys as well. Get like me hoes!

LOL, I'd pay to see it.

Weird choice, I thought they'd go for someone gay. Have they ever had an openly gay host? Don't tell me Ellen did it once.

CHRIS ROCK for the host, Please!

Does anyone here honestly believe Miss Warwick could go without some weed for the entire 3 1/2 - 4 length of the award program? Hell has a better chance of freezing over.

She’ll be fine as long as Patti caters the craft service

Will and Jada have been unusually quiet about this particular topic, the 'inequities' of the Oscars. Are they up to something?

I think OP has an overactive imagination.

Is she still on for this year?