Christmas in Honolulu/Oahu

Hawaii is very racist against white people and exceedingly homophobic. The food sucks and it’s ridiculously expensive, too. That said, it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world (esp Honolulu and the big island), so if you know these things going in you can have a great time. I hope you do.

I had a great time there in January. We expected to be treated strangely, but weren't.

LOTS of starchy foods. I confess the guava cake was good! Poi is ok.

R1 Fortunately, none of us is planning to attend a white power or gay pride rally while in Hawaii over Christmas, so the identity politics likely won’t come into play very much. Thanks!

Try the Poke (seasoned raw tuna or ahi). Just make sure it's fresh and from a reputable place.

Raw? Now I’m worried...

R4 Oh, I’m glad to see it isn’t made with vinegar...I will try it.

If you need to save money and your dad has a vet ID, try to get on one of the bases or go to one of the off base military housing gas stations to buy gas, It will be cheaper, but he will have to show his ID at the gas station first. I don't know if they accept vet IDs, but you can ask first. Gas In the city runs $3.39^

R1 is right. The Philippinos act like they own and run the island and the fat Samoans are openly homophobic and racist. HAOLE isn't a compliment.

We went and my son wiped out in a surfing contest, a massive spider invaded our hotel room and our three sons were tied up and held against their will by some freak.

Most of this is not encouraging.

Perhaps I should have known better than to ask for advice here.

:(

r9 Its not that bad. I doubt you will be spending much time interacting with the locals. Where is your hotel located and what are your plans for your stay? How many days?

I spent Christmas with family in Honolulu over a decade ago. It was great fun and wonderful to experience great weather instead of snow. As in most places, everything is closed on Christmas day. Plan to spend it at the beach and dining at your hotel.

Don't worry. You will be fine. We were treated well. We swam with spinner dolphins (at an extremely respectful distance), sea turtles. We swam with sharks. The last day we took a helicopter trip over the island. We were at Aulani's luau (yes, that is a Disney resort) but we were with family. It was fun.

R10 It’s in Oahu somewhere...I honestly have no more detail than that. My brother in law has OCD and he and my sister plan everything obsessively and I am laissez-faire about it. I am literslly going along for the ride because there is no point in causing tension by asking questions about their choices. Not on Christmas and not when the whole point is family bonding over our first holiday without my mom. This trip is very expensive for me as a city dweller with a single income as opposed to my dad with fixed retirement costs and my sister’s dual-income suburban lifestyle, and I have already seemingly rocked the boat a little by telling them I have to opt out of some of their excursions...on top of the flight and hotel costs, they’re tacking on hundreds of dollars almost every single day for outings and it’s honestly kind of freaking me out. As I said, my dad has wanted to go back since he was in the Navy, and so that is my justification for doing this but it is really going to hurt me financially and I am stressed about it but trying not to be a cheap asshole. So my approach is to try to be zen outwardly.

We’re going to be there for about a week and a half, from I think 12/21 until 12/30.

Tourist PSA - If you rent a convertible, lock your personal belongings in the trunk or a lockable glove box... better yet, take them with you.

OP, are you a gay guy. If so, the city has some fun bars.

R15 Yes, but I’m not going there to hook up with anyone.

OP, your sister is a cheap cunt. She should treat you to some of the things you can't afford.

R17 No, she’s not.

Yes, she is. If she knows you are being squeezed and doesn't care.

I opened this can of worms myself last year. We lost my mom over the holidays and I did not want to be in my parents’ house during Christmas this year. Our Ancestry DNA test revealed unexpected Swiss ancestry and so I tossed out an idea of going to see Christmas markets in Switzerland so we wouldn’t have to be home. Everyone said they loved the idea.

I was imagining a few days sitting around drinking mulled wine and looking at the Alps, maybe a train ride. Next thing I knew, my sis sent an itinerary for a two-week-long bus tour across Austria and Germany. It was lots of time and lots of money and not at all what I had in mind. When she pressed me for a response, I told her being trapped in a bus for two weeks with old people touring the Nazi hinterlands was not what I had in mind. Then I felt like a jerk.

Then my dad said Hawaii and everyone was like, OK. We can do that. And so it goes.

I am honestly looking forward to it. I am not a tropical island person AT ALL, but I do love nature and I am really excited that my dad will get to go back to one of the places he loved most. We all need a big distraction. It’s been the worst year on record for my family.

HI can be fun, especially with the resurgence in Tiki bars (hopefully you drink). And there are good restaurants as well. Check out sites like Chowhound, although it sounds like your sister has picked the dining already, and probably ordered your meals.

R21 She is not! I love my whole family. We’re just all very different. I am a gay city person on a limited budget who likes to go somewhere and wander around, and they’re suburban and beach people who have greater resources (or maybe are just less cheap) and like to schedule every hour of every day checking landmark sights off a to-do list. I think we actually offset one another pretty well, really, but I am an anxious person by nature and I do worry about the spending. But it’ll be fine. We will probably end up splitting up during some days and I will just wander around beaches or wherever while they do guided bus tours of landmarks and pineapple factories and stuff. Everyone is different!

You seem so sweet OP. I lost my mom last year two days before Christmas. Hope you and your family have a lovely time in HI.

Thank you, R23. <3

There are many options here. Try hiking up to Diamond Head or Koko Head (Obama did this one. However if you're in good shape, it'd be a few hours). Dine in many of the cheap local eateries (called Drive-ins) and the plate lunches are pretty filling - just starchy as previous poster stated. Shave ice, Leonard's malasadas are treats all near to Waikiki. Enjoy!

Caution: do everything you can to avoid work traffic! It's worse than L.A.!

R13 A whole week vacation? You lucky bastard!

Did your sister book you guys on one of those Booze cruises that go out along the shoreline at night? I always wanted to do that when I lived there, but I wasn't old enough.

The H3 used to be the fastest and least congested highway to go to the north shore, but the Like like highway and Pali highway have the most beautiful views.

Take a couple of long sleeve shirts, it gets chilly at night this time of year, especially along the shoreline.

Go to ABC stores for gifts to bring back. They are everywhere.

Even though OP was a cunt to me for merely telling the truth as someone who lived there, two more thoughts.

The macadamia nuts and Kona coffee are incredible. If you have time to go to Kona itself, do it. Surreal and very Carmel-ish in its way.

Also, the only place I’ve seen flagrant car theft out on the streets multiple times, in Downton Honolulu. Do NOT rent a car, especially if you are white. Uber only.

Thanks, R28. I love coffee and will be sure to fill my suitcase with some good stuff. :)

Bishop Museum is unbelievably cool if you want to find out more about the islands and people. This entire gallery is made of koa wood, and has ku gods and the fishhook the Hawaiians believe an ancient hero used to pull the islands off the seafloor.

Also in Honolulu, the Iolani Palace, America's only royal abode.

Cool, thanks, R30/31. We are all interested in the pre-US Hawaiian culture.

Also, musubi are a great snack and triangular versions are available everywhere.

Here you know that Christmas will be green and bright -- the sun to shine by day and all the stars by night.

Do they know you’re gay?

OP, post pics to DL of your whole fam in grass skirts & coconut shell tits, or this didnt happen.

Given your father's military background, you must go to my favorite hidden treasure museum, the US Army museum. Though your dad was in the Navy I'm sure everyone will enjoy it - - it's free, smack in the middle of Waikiki, usually empty of tourists, and adjacent to a beach frequented by military families. And of course, the Pearl Harbor Museums are interesting, powerfully sad, and 15 minutes from downtown Honolulu. Uber everywhere, and if excursioning to the lovely North Shore (the other side of the island is only a half hour away), the tacky Dole Pineapple Plantation is on the way and its fabulous gift shop is all you need to see, and it's great for souvenirs. And the luau at the lovely Disney resort is expensive but worth it. Aloha.

Visit Shangri La... Doris Duke’s spectacular house below Diamond Head.

An absolute must is to have sunset cocktails at “House Without a Key” at the Halekulani Hotel.

A super classy taste of old Hawaii before Waikiki became so crowded. The view of Diamond Head is picture postcard perfect and the hula dancing is beautiful and totally authentic, not some tacky show.

Also their Mai Tais are the best I’ve ever tasted and made with totally fresh juice and house made syrups, not the high fructose corn syrup and artificial flavors you get at so many other places in Hawaii these days.

A day on the North Shore is well worth the drive. It’s beautiful and watching the surfers at Pipeline, Sunset Beach, and Waimea Bay really is incredible. The waves in December will be huge.

If you are into christmas decorations, they are abundant. Drive through downtown Honolulu in the evening - it is really quite beautiful this time of year.

Definitely check to see if any of the hotels are offering local musician shows. Some incredibly talented people doing some incredibly wonderful music.

I can second the suggestions of Iolani Palace and Bishop Museum. Terrific places. Bishop Museum has a planetarium. Also, sunset drinks at the "High Calonic" and sunrise on Diamond Head (drive it don't hike it and lock your car). Honolulu has a very fun Christmas Day parade. It's a beautiful place and there ARE a lot of nice people. Enjoy.

Yes, all the rental cars have a Z as a first character on their license plates...so the thieves know who the tourists are.

Buy your booze at the ABC store too.

To be honest, I preferred your initial idea about Switzerland. The markets and atmosphere would be absolutely beautiful this time of year, plus you have a ancestral connection . I myself have always wanted to visit. Though I'm sure Hawaii will be nice too.

It's been a few years since I was there, but I used to love Helena's for Hawaiian food. Check their website as they have limited hours and only take cash. Everybody raves about Matsumoto in Haleiwa, but the best shave ice I found was at Waiola Store in Moiliili, which saves you a trip to the North Shore. Eggs 'n Things has great breakfasts, but it's very popular, so expect to wait. Alas, Hamburger Mary's is long gone.

Ala Moana Center used to be a great place to kill an afternoon (and check out the cute local boys) but it's been over-commercialized (who needs to go to Hawaii to shop at Bloomingdale's, Neiman-Marcus, Macy's, and Nordstrom?) although the Japanese department store Shirokiya was always interesting. It's been relocated since I was there and I have no idea if it's still worthwhile.

For some reason I always got a kick out of riding the little monorail at Pealridge Mall.

I'm as white as they come and I was always treated very nicely. I would go over for business a few times a year (and rent a car) and never had a problem. I also had no problem meeting local boys for sex, but as the song lyric goes, 'I was younger then'.

Some things that I would spend money to do if it were my first time in Honolulu would be Pearl Harbor, a luau (I've done the Paradise Cove luau a couple of times), and maybe the Polynesian Cultural Center. But there are lots of things to do that cost little or nothing. Iolani Palace is worth a visit. Definitely hike to the top of Diamond Head if you're up to it. Snorkel at Hanauma Bay. You can rent snorkel gear at Snorkel Bob's on Kapahulu Ave. Drive the Pali Highway to the Nuuanu Pali Lookout for an incredible view. Drive along the North Shore. Stop at Matsumoto's for shave ice and at the Dole Plantation for a pineapple whip and other pineapple treats. There's a fireworks show on Waikiki every Friday night. As R45 mentioned, Eggs 'n Things is good for breakfast, but crowded. They just opened another one in Ko Olina, but unless you're staying at one of the resorts out there you're better off trying the one in Waikiki. Shirokiya, the Japanese department store in Ala Moana, has a great food court with all kinds of Japanese food. La Mariana Sailing Club is a good tiki bar and restaurant.

[quote] I don't know if they accept vet IDs, but you can ask first. Gas In the city runs $3.39

What's a vet ID? You can't access military benefits (like buying gas on a base or shopping at the commissary/PX) unless your dad is active duty or retired military. Ordinary vets don't qualify.

Don't let your dad hook up with some pretty local or you will be witnessing your inheritance flying out the window. Keep him occupied and accompanied. Trust me on this.

Go to Lanikai Beach

Another vote for La Mariana Sailing Club! We ate there, fantastic food. Even drinks for sober bores, like me, were great. A relative took a picture right as we were driving away and it really looks like a postcard.

And now for some comic relief, Merry Christmas from Jordan Peele as Obama:

[quote] Also in Honolulu, the Iolani Palace, America's only royal abode

A few blocks away, you can tour the Honolulu City Christmas lights. It's a nice little stroll through the state capital and city hall areas, where you can get your holiday fix.

Your family should visit the Westin Moana Surfrider hotel for Christmas dinner.

It's right along Waikiki Beach, but it's a bit pricey. $120 per person.

But the view is spectacular and the food is really good.

The Kahala Resort also has a good buffet.

Whoever suggested Ala Moana mall was right.

It's an expansive shopping center with nearly 400 stores and shops, from major retail outlets to smaller specialty stores.

You could spend an entire day there, and just get lost in the shopping and the food.

I know op didn't want to go to a gay bar, but if you feel like having a drink with other gay people, there's a nice open air bar called Hula's.

It's across the street from the Honolulu Zoo, and it's very casual. Good for an afternoon cocktail.

Update from the OP...staying at Waikiki with a gorgeous view of the ocean and the tree canopy over the zoo. The weather is incredible, and everything has been lovely with one exception: my family pressured me to do a “circle bus tour” of Oahu yesterday and it was HELL. I was dreading it but went along for the ride because it was important to everyone. It was ten times worse than I worried. Nine hours inside a bus. A baby screeched the entire time. The driver SCREAMED factoids incessantly, often repeating himself just to have something to keep jabbering about. We’d stop, he’d tell us to take five minutes for photos and then yell at us to get in the bus. We have plenty of souvenir photos with ncie backdrops that could have been taken in a studio. Every stop all I wanted was to be outside experiencing the natural wonder—instead, nine hours inside a freezing tour bus with dualing baby shrieks/driver blabber over a loud speaker. If you come here, DO NOT DO IT.

I've been to four different Islands mainly for hiking but I didn't spend enough time on Oahu. Wouldn't mind going back. Hawaii is expensive especially after adding parking and resort fees.

Did you hike up Diamond Head, Op?

OP is you're that close to the zoo, you should really enjoy Hula's like r55 recommended. Great to just chill on nice afternoons, talk to random interesting people, have a drink, relax.

OP's too kind for DL.

True, R59, but I’m too kind for this world so watchagonnado? MELE KALIKIMAKA!!

R59 OP is a weakling who cannot say no. But be sure to check out your history how your government destroyed the Islands

[quote]…But be sure to check out your history how your government destroyed the Islands

It wasn't the government that destroyed the Islands, it was the fucking Samoans. They seemingly exist just to steal from other people and collect welfare. I lived in Honolulu for two years, and the only major problems I ever had were directly related to Samoans.

R62 Historically love, I mean the history, not your current racism

Hawaii, Kula. One day . . .

Same R64