Ramifications of medical leave

We need more details to judge the seriousness of your case. What is going on? Why are you on the verge of a breakdown?

Consider whether your career is more important to you than your health. I would choose health every time.

Do you see a therapist/psychiatrist? That is the obvious first step.

Why would a self imposed hospitalization hurt you? I believe medical records are required to be confidential unless there is some threat of a mental illness severe enough to potentially cause in grave injury to others.

At any rate, I'm really sorry you're going through this; I have had a close friend with a very rough family life who was suicidal and I know it was a difficult journey, but he painstakingly made his way back out. My thoughts are with you

Apply for FMLA and get the appropriate forms completed by your physician and submitted to your work place

Bad people may use any indication that you're mentally unstable or that your judgment shouldn't be trusted as a way to discredit you. But the possibility of that scenario arising requires that you survive this breakdown. In-patient observation isn't like a B&B where someone sits at your bed side and brings you cookies and talks with you about your feelings. You'll be surrounded by really really crazy people on a locked ward. Is that environment going to improve your mental health? They will keep you from killing yourself, while you're there, and if you need and want someone to stop you from being able to harm yourself, then you should go check in.

OP,

1. I'm very sorry that you're going through this.

2. Can you tell us a little more about what's going on in your life?

FMLA medical leave is your right and is confidential.

If you are thinking of harming yourself, call 911 or call a friend to take you to the ER.

If you need to talk it out please call 1 800 273 8255.

Take good care. Your life is worth living.

Do you have anxiety meds? (Or any kind of prescribed medication?) Are you taking them?

What's most important is that you get the support you need to get through this right now.

Don't worry about the what ifs, imaginary consequences or ramifications. They don't matter. Those things work themselves out.

What matters now is that you go get the support you want and need right now. You're doing the right thing OP and I'm rooting for you!

No one can make public your medical records while you are still alive. If they do, your law suit settlement will make your transition from working to retired very nice. HIPAA laws are not to be fucked with.

Do what is good for you OP. If you have the self awareness to know you need help, take that step. Maybe reach out to a Psychologist before committing yourself. Assuming you have insurance, most providers do cover a few visits relating to mental health.

I hope you feel better, and get back on track.

Do not do anything permanent to yourself, OP. You will be okay. You’ve made it this far, you can handle whatever situation you’re in, with some help. That’s why we have therapists.

If you need to take medical leave, then do it. Getting the nec help will put you in a much better position to save your career.

I wish there was a humane way for people to end their own life.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Who knows what wonders and happiness lay in your future…. Get the help you need. All medical records are confidential. Your employer will know as much or as little as you wish to divulge; however, know that you can take the time for medical leave and they will not be able to fire you under FMLA. Get better doll.

R13, are you the OP?

[quote]Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

🙄

R16, I’ve had family members commit suicide. The problems are always temporary ones that could have been solved.

That poster is completely correct r16.

Unless you have some incurable medical condition that is going to claim the rest of your days, suicide is absolutely a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[quote]I wish there was a humane way for people to end their own life.

Important to remember suicide isn't just a personal thing. It affects everyone around you, and they are left to pick up the pieces while you have just decided to run away.

R17, I am sorry.

R18, nicely put. Really compassionate.

As someone who used to work the disability realm...

HR will know exactly what you are out from based on the FMLA forms.

Some companies would automatically terminate employees once they hit their FMLA max. Some companies would wait until STD leave was exhausted. Depended on the company.

Some companies would terminate once FMLA max was hit, if the person was someone they wanted to get rid of anyway. We saw a lot of companies that were too chicken to fire someone and used pushing someone towards leave as a way to get them out.

Some companies if they like the person or if someone had terminal cancer/something horrible like ALS would take care of employees on leave for as long as possible.

I am not trying to scare you, but give you the low down on this stuff.

If you do have apprehensions about your employer, it might be a good idea to also talk to a lawyer as well.

I have seen if a company knows you have legal muscle behind you, they might not try something.

Take care of yourself OP and PROTECT yourself as well.

Your health is the most valuable and important thing you will ever have. Make that your priority.

OP, I’m so sorry you’re in such pain. Please, please reach out to others. I don’t want to minimize your concerns about your medical records, but - as others here have emphasized - you need to prioritize getting the help you need.

Other posters have given you good resources. Do you have a friend, a family member, a neighbor you could get in touch with now just to talk to and begin to ease your burden in the short term? I suspect people who know you would gladly listen - if only they had an idea of what you were going through. Pick up the phone and call someone.

Let us know how you are doing.

Literally, I have been you. Under FMLA they CANNOT ask you what your illness/issue is. All they need to know is that you are under medical care and you need the leave.

I send you support.

I knew someone who did it and she was not only demoted at her job,but ostracized. Her husband killed himself, she took a year off.Jobs aren't supposed too do that,but HR gets around it .An no she did not file a lawsuit.

Not much to offer you, OP, other than a big hug!

Forgive me if this sounds simplistic, but...when I was going through some very rough times a few years ago what worked for me was walking...I walked day and night, and it was wintertime and very cold...but it seemed to allow me to clear my head...and when I got home I was grateful to be warm and slept better because I exerted some energy. Eventually, my problems were resolved and I'm happier now.

As far as the job ramifications about taking medical leave, just do it if you need to; your mental health is the most important thing right now. Take care of yourself and try to stay strong. xo

[quote]I’m seriously considering just ending it.

No job is worth your life, OP. Get help now, the rest of it will get worked out later, one way or another.

I have been where you are. I had a good old fashioned nervous breakdown and all. Went out on FMLA. I had plenty of advocacy in helping me understand my rights. HOWEVER, jobs cannot be of concern when your health is at stake.

Love, just because you feel this way now, doesn't mean you always will. I PROMISE YOU it gets better. You are important.

As long as your employer is paying for your insurance...they can find out whatever information they want to know about your health.

That being said, you really need to get psychiatric help, whether inpatient or outpatient, if you are having a breakdown.

I would focus on getting your mental health under control right now, and worry about potential problems with your employer later on down the road.

I would strongly advise you to learn how to Meditate. It's often better than medication and leaves you with a feeling of peace and serenity.

Get to a therapist quick.

Get on anxiety meds quick.

Go on FMLA. Your therapist can be very discreet as to why you are on leave. Do not say it is for mental reasons. Say it is medical and that is all you can say. Be vague. Tell them you aren't sure but it is medical. If anyone finds out you are seeing a therapist, say it is a by product of a medical issue and they are treating that while they "figure out what is wrong" and go from there.

Take care of YOU first.

I am very sorry for your pain. I am sure you are suffering a lot. Seek help before you think of doing something else.

Hugs!

I've had 2 nervous breakdowns, got medical help, and worked through them - didn't take any time off work. Do what's best for you.

I'm R31. Again I cannot stress enough. Mental health is medical. Do not say the words mental health, though. You say medical because it is not lying. You tell them they are figuring out what is wrong with you but you need to see a therapist (IF they find out) because of the side effects of your medical condition. My friend had a gland issue which caused severe depression. I just wanted to be clearer.

What about just taking a long (as long as you can get away with) vacation at a retreat or somewhere peaceful, just to get away, gather yourself and get some perspective about how to move forward. Sometimes you just need some “me” time to sort yourself out. It’s hard to think clearly when you’re overwhelmed by stress. If you don’t work full time and can’t get time off, try streamlining every aspect of your life so that you have as much time for yourself as possible and the least stress. I know that sounds trite, like I don’t realize how serious your problem is, and you may be working very hard to make ends meet, but the small things really do add up.

Op we are here to help. You're not alone.

I don’t have a primary doctor since I switched insurance. There’s one assigned to me, but I’ve never seen him; it would be the first time going to him. I just took a Valium and am going to sleep, but tomorrow it will just happen again. If I feel like I’m going to flip out, do I go to the ER? Try to make a doctors appointment? What do I say? I don’t want to seem like I’m just looking for time off and be sent on my way. I really don’t think I can take this any more. I just want to die. I intentionally don’t have guns in the house because that’s how I’d do it if I ever got the nerve, but I recently started looking into getting one. Im scared. What doctor should I call?

Thanks for all the suggestions

What are you upset about? Describe how you feel out of control; what caused it?

The suicide prevention line can help. The ER will help, but in a way that can different than you expect. I went to the ER and told them I was in crisis and that I was fearful of harming myself. I was signed into care. The advocates at the therapeutic hospital advocated for me and directed what was sent to my work.

LITERALLY, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I now know I have depression amd must do certain things to stay safe. I had no idea. I am safe now. I am grateful.

You are not alone.

R32, just curious, did you just collapse one day into hysterics or was it gradual thing and one day you just realized you need to get help? For whatever reason, I always assume when someone says they've had a nervous breakdown that they had an uncontrollable sobbing type episode.

r36 If you can't wait, go to the ER. If you can, see that doctor and tell him the truth. Be honest. By all means, see someone certified and soon. So what if you need time off. Your doctor can make that happen. He can give you a medical leave. DO IT. In an emergency, ER. If you can hang on a day or for a few hours, make an appointment and tell them it is urgent (and not an emergency if it isn't at the time). All work has to know is your in the hospital.

OP: Nobody will think you are faking to get time off or get out of work. They will believe that you are in distress.

Some of the best people EVER have had this happen.

Please know you are cared for and get help.

Go to the ER tonight, OP

OP you DO need time off. That is obvious.

Being pushed to the edge has happened to everyone. You may need to be heavily medicated for awhile. Follow doctors orders. Please get help and go from there.

OP, NEVER even think about guns. Just put them out of your mind, pretend they were never invented and they don’t exist. Their only purpose is destruction. Their sale funds a cycle of violence. Once it is bought and brought out of the store, it could end up in many wrong hands through its(the firearm’s) lifetime.

No guns.

Violence of any kind, even to yourself, is not the answer. You were put here for a reason. Don’t throw that gift away.

Haven't seen your doctor yet? Now's the time - and in a hurry!! Please get the help that you need ASAP.

And always remember - this too shall pass. Now GO - and get help!

Sweetheart, you need someone to talk to badly. Get if all off your chest and a healing process will start to take place. Find the right person and OPEN your mouth and TALK!

Also OP: We have no idea what is on the other side. I wouldn’t be in a rush to get there. Life can be hard, but at least we have science, each other, knowledge. At least we know the gist of it. Why would going into the unknown be appealing? It’s bad enough here, who knows what shit they’ve got in store for us on the other side. *shudder*

I’ll take stress, depression and strife over “a tunnel of light”, “all knowing beings of light,” “an endless plain of light” (?! Uhh, no thanks for now!!)

Suicide isn't the answer - getting your life together is. One day you'll be glad you did!

Hey op- this actually happened to me 2 years ago ... around now actually. I was suffering from some pretty bad ptsd, and my pcp asked me to see a psychiatrist who was so worried about me that he kept trying to get me to go inpatient. My psychiatrist worked with my pcp, so most people at work just assumed I was having a medical procedure done and would be out for 8 weeks on FMLA. It probably kept me from ending it all... and things did turn around. I am so sorry that you are going this, but take the time you need. I will be rooting for you.

Yes, what 51 said! Same here! My doctor made it like I was doing surgery or something. My work didn't know.

No advice to give here mate, but take good care of yourself. Yes?

OP, I once worked in a really high stress job, and people got signed out all the time by doctors for 2-3 weeks on FMLA stress leave. It worked wonders. I highly recommend it.

OP, a poster above suggested you call a suicide hotline. Based on your last post, I think that’s a good move. I can see that your thoughts are still ranging all over the place. If you did call earlier but you’re still as desperate as before, call again. They can help you focus, help you decide what kind of help to get and how to get it. Please don’t do anything rash. Just call them now.

1 800 273 8255

I heard a trans woman give a talk who told us that a friend of hers sued her employee-sponsored health insurance company to provide gender surgery, and her employer never even found out about it. (Or knew that she was a trans person at all.)

The privacy laws are pretty strict.

OP, I hope you are getting help. We are all pulling for you.

Check in with us, OP. Did you go to the ER?

[quote]Consider whether your career is more important to you than your health. I would choose health every time.

If you have no money, you have no health.

[quote]I believe medical records are required to be confidential

HIPAA applies to medical providers only (it's an American thing, other countries will vary), your job won't qualify unless they self insure.

[quote]Apply for FMLA and get the appropriate forms completed by your physician and submitted to your work place

FMLA applies to business of 50 or more people. you have to work for the employer for 12 months (not necessarily consecutive), and have worked they have worked 1,250 hours for the employer during the 12 months immediately before the leave. This is a federal law that outlines minimum standards. Some states have looser standards for a state version of FMLA.

[quote]I heard a trans woman give a talk who told us that a friend of hers sued her employee-sponsored health insurance company to provide gender surgery, and her employer never even found out about it.

In a large business you're correct, but in small business it's easy to find out inadvertently. For business that offer insurance, if it's small enough, if they were to provide even a major heart attack, the insurance rate for everyone will go up, the next year. A gender reassignment in a small business would have a much larger effect.

You can then petition the insurance company to ask for a detail of the rise in rates and you will get a general listing of causes. It's not hard to figure out who had what, though it won't list the person just the procedures.

I've used FMLA to take care of my parents. It's a pretty easy process, but you do need a doctor's signature on the form. Talk to your HR people to get the appropriate forms.

Or, as you are having stress-related medical conditions, you may qualify for short-term medical leave. See what your employer offers and see a doctor.