Bottoms who need no preparation

They have self-lubricating holes, just like Momma.

I'm very envious

I’m vegan so always clean, no stink. Fully empty. Lol.

They are clean until they aren't. It's a crapshoot.

I get what you’re asking OP. I envy those guys. I have to douche 9 times and then I only have a 2 hour window of fuckability

r4 is a post crying out for a EST

We're vegan

Don't be disgusting OP.

I'm a vegan and I'm never clean. I am constantly shitting.

Vegan shit stinks too

I once dated a guy like that, OP.

No matter where or when, he was always DTF and totally clean. He was one of those bottoms who didn't need to/didn't want to cum either. Not sure that's relevant but maybe.

R11

Didn't Want to cum??????

Why?????

Quite common. I've met quite a few bottoms who did not want to cum.

Are you sure he wans't FTM R11?

The answer is health and steady bowel movements.

A fairy that flushes his guts out with water is as every bit as unhygienic as one who doesn't. Let's clear that up right now. It's mostly to make both parties feel better about themselves. Ask anyone that eats ass. It's all about timing no matter what. What is required, at least expected, before anal sex is a good washing of the exterior (shower) and general cleanliness. Don't worry about the insides.

The only time I would douche is if knew there was some tongue action involved because it's polite. Know what you're getting into. I've had some tops say they'd prefer I not wash or douche before they put their mouths on my anus. Gross, but if it floats your boat.

The importance of douching is as every bit exaggerated and stigma driven in the gay community as it is for women.

I’m vegan, and dump doesn’t stink.

Vegans have significant gas though.

R15, that is all misinformation. Clean out your skanky ass.

As a top, nothing is a bigger turn off than thrusting a few fingers up a guy's ass and feeling a butt full of turds.

Have some consideration. Empty it. Clean your butt.

R18 This is the type of top you want to avoid. The chauvinist idiot that doesn't realize that it's a cyclical process even though he has an asshole as well. I am one of the fabled bottoms OP mentioned that needs no preparation and I can tell you it's not true on it's premise. You just don't hear from us when we don't want to have sex or at a moment that would require douching.

If there's a turd up there, don't have sex. Health and a good diet makes sure everything moves through smoothly on time. Pressure from weirdos like R18 tricks you into thinking there's something wrong with your asshole if you're not ready to go 24/7.

I got self conscious with when I was with a top for several months but it turned out he couldn't tell the difference between when I douched or didn't because of my hygiene and diet. Don't have sex with nasty tops that make you feel gross like R18.

^ The vomit. I can't hold the vom...

Not me R18. Sorry. ☹️

R17 I mean. 🙁

I eat primarily vegetables and poo at least twice a day. All that fibre comes out of your ass. I don't see how vegans' shit is better.

My shit smells like roses so what is the problem?

Poo?

It’s poop. Or dump.

The poop threads are THE funniest threads on Datalounge. By far.

Pretty sure r18 is saying that if you're not ready to fuck, then don't fuck. Not sure where you're getting that he's saying you have to be completely empty at all times, r19. I think that's your insecurities at play.

Anyway, totally unrelated, but you are easily one of the least appealing people I have ever run into on DL, r19, so congratulations.

I think it has more to do with the colon producing a firm, compacted stool which eliminates quickly, easily and completely from the descending colon with no stragglers or residue. Overall this results in easier and healthier bowel movements with no straining and no sticky, mushy remainders breaking apart up inside the rectum and staying there during evacuation.

R27 You can't read, then. And I don't know you.

The secret to being clean as a whistle is healthy gut flora, also, OP. Take probiotics if you're having issues on top of a fiber rich diet and drinking the amount of water you should be. Over douching can inflame the bowels and lead to the messier situation you were hoping to avoid. When you douche, you only want to clean a couple inches anyway. This is what actual doctors recommend. You should not be removing stools from your rectum. Those come out naturally. R18 is having sex with constipated desperate queens and is himself a constipated desperate queen.

Have sex in your time, not his. You can increase the frequency of this with a better diet, hydration and wellness routine.

"The poop threads are THE funniest threads on Datalounge. By far."

You type scat.

LMAO^^

R28 Correct. Bulk forming laxatives, even ones marketed as natural, should be avoided though.

Please welcome to the stage: MOTILITY DYSFUNCTION

Psyllium husks daily for phantom shits.

No idea R12.

Was a FB situation but still. I would offer, I'd ask him if he wanted to jerk himself off, but he'd always say no.

At first I thought maybe he wasn't that into it, but he kept calling me, so that wasn't the case.

Not the first bottom I've encountered who just wants to get fucked or blow me and doesn't seem to care about an orgasm of their own.

Being plant based does make you gassy at first, but at least it's guaranteed to keep you regular. I hate to add onto the discussion of smell but I find eating any type of junk food/processed crap, even "vegan" such as oreos, will make my stool stink. Meat too because of the high sulfur content. On the other hand when I am actually eating healthy there is no smell... a healthy vegan/vegetarian diet without processed food goes a long way

I don’t eat oreos, R36.

Can’t stand douching and all the worries about being clean. As a result I just top. Love bottoms that seem to always be clean.

Everyone thinks their own shit duznt stink

My dump is green.

Experience bottom here. I eat a healthy diet that is high in fiber and I'm always ready to go. Clean diet = clean hole. End of thread.

R41 No, you're an unhygienic pig spreading disinfo. That poor top having to smash against your turds.

Come over and fuck me R42 and you'll see how clean I am. I have never had an accident or an oopsie.

I fill a water bottle, press it against my starfish and squeeze some water into my hole. It goes just deep enough up my ass to flush it out and Im able to take a cock while remaining nice and clean. I was taught this trick by a porn star friend in LA. You really don't want a lot of water up there because it can make fucking rather messy

R43 Aren't you ashamed of your reeking, undouched anus?

Come on over and fuck me R45 and you'll see. My hole is open and waiting.

R46 You're every bit as gross as R15. There is no such thing as a clean anus without saline solution and possibly some disinfectant. Clean out your skanky ass. As a top, nothing is a bigger turn off than thrusting a few fingers up a guy's ass and feeling a butt full of turds.

Have some consideration for the top.

[quote]As a top, nothing is a bigger turn off than thrusting a few fingers up a guy's ass and feeling a butt full of turds.

This wasn’t funny the first time you posted this.

Exactly, r48

As a gayling, I was advised by my eldergay mentor to not use the solution that comes in enema bottles, just use regular water instead. I never questioned his wisdom, but now, 30 years later (FUCK!), I wonder why he told me that. Thoughts?

A nice healthy bowel movement still needs a couple of internal rinses before anal sex to be clean.

I want every bottom to watch this video.

R51 False.

A cup of bleach and a wire brush does the trick for me!

Psyllium husks, twice a day, every day.

Metamucil saves on toilet paper as well!

I loved that guy at R53! Sorry he's had such bad luck. Its "low class" to have shit up in your anus LOL!

R53 Howard here is the kind of psychopathic top you want to avoid. Big closet case. He's says he's not gay because he does it with trannies exclusively now, but he just wants you to know how clean their assholes are in comparison to [other] gay men's. The douching and shaming thing is total bullshit.

R57 Yikes.

R53 He sounds like a douche.

He sounds like R18

Is Metamucil safe for you? I remember reading several years ago that it's not for some reason.

R52 All the tops I've been with have been secret coprophiles telling me my hole feels nice

When I smoked and drank lots of coffee I was always clean for my top to service me. I was very regular and did my business in the morning before taking a shower. Like clockwork. Now I don't smoke and only drink one cup of coffee every day. My regularity stopped. I even eat a lot of fiber, or at least try to. Now I have to douche before sex.

I don't know what changed, but up until my late 30s, I used to never give any thought to cleaning, and I can only think of three instances where it was unpleasant (and GURL was it ever!). I could wake up in the morning and the first thing I'd do was sit on my bf du jour's cock.

Now, happily married and in my 40s, I can't even think about bottoming unless I've had sufficient time to prepare. Spontaneous fucking is but just a memory for me.

All I want for Christmas if for these queens to have their self cleaning, minimal fecal matter containing assholes back

Ughh

What about the squatty potty?

I use "Get Regular" Yogi tea. It cleans you right out if you drink two tea bags at once the night before. Also Psyllium Husk Pills are a miracle. Then a few uses of the douche until the water is clean and I squirt just a tiny amount of all natural soap into the douche and presto I could ride a cock all night and actually enjoy it without fear or embarrassment. As a bottom, youd better be clean. As a top, I cant and wont deal with any funk, I mean none. Your ass needs to be squeaky clean.

One time I met the HOTTEST hairless little blond guy. I never eat ass but I went to town, eating and fingering his hole. I still fantasize about him. Another guy was a dude I barebacked in a park. I NEVER do that but man was it hot.

So please, douche, wash, eat fiber, wait an hour or two to see if you have any movement then go to town.

Good to see that No Joke Howard is still such an entertaining trainwreck, and that he's still pining for his Cambodian tranny ex.

this is why I have become Oral/hands only.

So Howard is bi?

Colonics for all bottoms this holiday season!!

Perhaps they are bidet owners and just need a quick once over and are good to go?

Christ what a repellent thread. Reinforces my conviction that arseholes are good for only one thing, and it isn’t sex.

Well since no one has mentioned it, Triphala is an Ayurvedic herb/supplement that I take for bowel health. It causes contractions that tone things down there and keep you regular. It also works very beneficially with probiotics. In fact I first learned about Triphala from studies that were done on fruit flies which showed that giving them Triphala along with probiotics increased their lifespan by 60%.

Yep^, R76. You’re correct.

[quote] As a bottom, youd better be clean. As a top, I cant and wont deal with any funk, I mean none. Your ass needs to be squeaky clean.

Agreed, R69

My gay GP says douching is really bad for you and may even increase your likelihood of contracting an STI if your partner has one. If you are too paranoid to bottom without douching you should abstain from receptive anal sex.

R70 no, now he's dating a 50 year old woman! Says it's the strongestbmost fulfilling connection he's had

I can’t believe there are people on this thread who literally think their shit doesn’t stink.

Stress is a huge contributor to digestive issues .

my BF and I eat super healthy, we don’t douche, are versatile and never had a bad experience. I can feel if there’s poop inside and if there is, i will go to the bathroom, shower and wash my hole with my finger/soap before any sexual activity m. My finger is never dirty, but I would be too scared to bottom that soon after having a bowel movement without testing it first. We both have BMs like clockwork... after breakfast/coffee, before showering.

R23 "I eat primarily vegetables and poo at least twice a day."

Myself, I prefer a steak and a baked potato but to each his own...

Hey, bitchezzzz! Drink a tablespoon of me every a.m., and you'll be shitting a sweater on the daily.

I’ve had IBS most of my adult years—the diarrhea kind unfortunately. So the idea of a rock hard turd is only a fantasy for me; douching is a requirement and should be a gay law.

I make sure my colostomy bags are emptied before fucking.

Dildos don't care about a little shit.

My ex was the bottom in our relationship, and when we first started having sex, he was frequently 'not clean'. It was a turn-off, of course. But since I never bottomed, I couldn't offer any advice. After several years, that problem went away: I never did know what had changed things. But once that changed, wow! he was just eager as can be to hop on my dick, and I was so grateful. On the other hand, it was several years after that that he got involved with another guy, then another. So, I guess being able to hop on a dick so easily opened to floodgates, so to speak. I still wish we were together. I love him like crazy.

[quote]Bottoms who need no preparation

HOES

They're whores, darling. Their bodies have adapted to their deviant lifestyle.

Bottoms who need no preparation are simply angels who managed to successfully cross to this dimension

I assume the bitches who say they need no preparation are getting nailed by 2 inch asian dicks.

The person telling you to drink laxative teas and squirt soap into your asshole before bottoming is an idiot. The person who believes him is even stupider.

News flash: my hole has a fucking day job. Bottoms should do everything they can to be clean and ready, but Im tired of the tops who cry and bitch on the rare occasion that things go awry. How about you be a fucking adult about it and gently suggest the bottom clean up in the shower? Have some respect and be nice about it.....just like we are when you can't get your dick hard and insist "this never happens". Well, yeah, it does, and its no big deal if its an occasional thing. We need bottoms and tops to fuck, right? So lets support each other's efforts to make it happen!

I'm pretty clean/regular and tried that psyllium husk. They made me feel like I had to shit all the time.

If you can’t put up with a little shit, you shouldn’t be gay.

You must remove the shit with quills, people! It is the only way!

Do we think this is possibly the only thread on the DL without Fraus and Lesbians?

R50 that is what I do... just water. I also agree with r64 that coffee kept things pretty clean, as it made me very very regular. I never smoked, but coffee was like clockwork.

R99 The self hating gay (and bi) men ignorant about the human body and the digestive process or that don't have anal sex at all but are chock-full of advice fulfill their role pretty well.

Douching can result in inflammation, bacterial infections, removal of healthy intestinal flora which can compromise the immune system, dryness which can lead to cuts during penetration, etc.. When it moves into enema territory the risk becomes sepsis. Never use laxatives, detergents or other irritants for anal sex. The people talking about consideration for the top while advising the self-harm practices above deserve never to be laid again in their lives.

Take a bath, clean the outside of the hole thoroughly and slightly inside (digitally), wax if it makes you feel better. If you're backed up, avoid sex. If you're constantly backed up, find the cause of the problem. Wear condoms. It's that simple.

R99, Hellooooo!

[quote]Douching can result in inflammation, bacterial infections, removal of healthy intestinal flora which can compromise the immune system, dryness which can lead to cuts during penetration

Are you talking about just plain water? How could plain water do all of that? Also, it's only going in the rectum, not much further - so what intestinal flora are being affected?

When I DON'T rinse out (before AND after) I have a weird uncomfortable feeling from the lube and I've noticed (who knows why) that it hurts more going in when I haven't cleaned out internally. Lack of lube probably leads to more cuts than flushing out feces stuck in your rectum.

R103 Yes, plain ol' tap water can cause irritation, bleeding and dryness. When you flush the cavity of any remnant particles, you're also flushing out all the good bacteria that your body needs. You should not have feces stuck in your rectum.

If you're more comfortable douching, do it. Just don't overdo it or feed into the myth that it's necessary for everyone.

This outlines some of the risks and emphasizes good external hygiene and diet.

Yeah, R104- because I’d take health advice from a DO.

(Physician who wasn’t smart enough to go to medical school)

I read it. It seems like he's mostly talking about overdoing it. Looking at my sex life, this is a problem I do not have.

I've had sex with hundreds of guys, and quite seriously, have never met anyone who douched. It must be an American thing. Americans are afraid of natural body functions and smells, aren't they. Sad.

I think it’s more a porn thing. I mean porn bottoms do it because they probably don’t get paid for brown outs.

It also staggers me that anyone could be bothered. The fuss! The time! There's more important things to do in life. Wipe your arse with a wet facecloth if you're fussy, but that's enough. Jesus. And for fucks sake, don't spoil it your natural man smell with perfume.

R105 Congratulations, you've made the stupidest post on this thread yet. I'll take the advice of this gay, board certified surgeon that reflects the medical community's consensus on the risk of douching vs. a queen with internalized homophobia telling you to take laxatives and shove a hose up your ass and/or decades of shame-based groupthink.

The DO comment was a bit odd... my primary is a DO and he has been really great. Even when I moved, I kept him and drive an hour to see him if I need to (which is rare anyway). Also, I had a 5 hour major surgery with a DO with excellent results, though he was a bit unavailable - as most MDs are too (I think you get 7 minutes on average these days).

Meh, I guess it depends on how often you bottlm. If your ass gets daily action you probably don't eat a lot and sre super thin. If I bottom, it's a several-day process where I don't eat much and drink a lot of water, followed by very little the day of the event and a good anal douching with warm water in one of those bulb things, three hours before the coupling so there's enough time for everything to, um, settle.

Guys who brag about never douching just don't eat very much (despite claims to the contrary).

Oh, and the few days before and the day of I will use a dildo to make sure everything is opened up and ready to go.

R112 will never be crowned Miss Spontaneity.

R112 I eat lavishly, drink coffee, tons of water, stay healthy except for smoking and never had a problem with any stragglers in the lower chamber or complaints. When I douche for anilingus, it's not a slurry that needs multiple rinses, either. Using laxatives, irritants like soap internally, and douching is going to give you more problems.

Shit comes out your ass. If you are planning on having a dick up it, maybe shower and just not eat a heavy meal.

It's just mind over fecal matter.

Lotsa fecalphobes here.

R116 You can eat a heavy meal, it's just the one you ate before being mistimed that's gonna give you a problem.

Avoid foods that cause an immediate evacuation...

R115 "eat lavishly" = Three lettuce leaves and sniffing a breath mint for dessert.

I think knowing the ages of these posters would help clear a few things up. The older you get, the worse your digestive system. I’m a handsome daddy top with a head full of hair and good financials so I keep a 20-something bottom and they have no problems with spontaneous sex.

Shit happens, who cares if it gets on your cock, it's great lube

R121 My life is gourmet, baby

This thread has me in hysterics. I'll just leave this here for all of you:

R122 I'm the one opposed to laxatives, soap up the sphincter, harmful advice and general shaming of bottoms. I'm 26 and have been with men of all ages. If and when my digestive system goes I still won't give a fuck about what an entitled chauvinist has to say about my hygiene regimen, which may very well change with time.

Dont get fucked if you're dirty. Dont top if your bottom is not prepped. That being said, Psyllium Husk pills clean you right out. I douche with a little bulb I bought at a sex shop. I use it 4 or more times sitting on the toilet until I'm clean. Then I shower. Sometimes you will get a movement down there later on so always give yourself time.

I find it laughable all these cunty queens saying they dont stink. Oh please. And for those of you saying this is all so gross--grow the fuck up.

R127 It's the vegans saying their shit doesn't stink. I know mine does, I also know there's no such thing as a perfectly "clean" anus. If there is, mine's pretty close.

r117 made me actually laugh out loud

129 posts and no one said "to make surprise anal easier"

You all are slipping.

It’s so awful when men are dirty down there. Thank heavens I don’t have that issue...

What’s that smell? Must be one of y’all...

r122 we're ALL handsome daddy tops with full heads of hair and good financials.

If you take an Immodium tablet earlier in the day, and then clean out, you're not going to have a problem for 24 hours.

Does Milk of Magnesia help?

This is true R132

It is my understanding that visiting DL daily can take at least 10 years off of one's age.

Is that accurate?

Dear Lord In Heaven!

[quote]You must remove the shit with quills, people! It is the only way!

r97 r98 Funny, Porcupine, that's the same thing Oscar Wilde said.

poop is natures lubricant, try to avoid chunky peanut butter if you can.

R101 had it summed up quite well.

R105 and R111 - excuse my ignorance - would you care to clarify what a DO is?

ima long time rimmer, they have to clean/douche before, no such thing as a clean hole w/o it …. trust.

DO = Osteopath. A doctor with an osteopathic degree as opposed to a doctor with a medical degree.

R138 I thought blood was nature's lubricant for anal sex.

[quote] If you take an Immodium tablet earlier in the day, and then clean out, you're not going to have a problem for 24 hours.

I do that too but with Pepto Bismol! I do it right before I clean out because I noticed it halts GI activity for several hours at least.

I rimmed 3 whores a day from the gaiety theatre when I was in nyc for vacanza. only got amoebas in my gut twice, purdy good for a decade... man I suckd a lot of fine ass. numbers has a lot of hot whores too....never got nuthin at hunters: drama old queens mostly

Thanks, R142. I’m not sure if we have those in Australia.

DO = Doggy Odor