Charging Your Relatives For Their Christmas Dinner

For $21 I could get a much better dinner than my mother could make.

We have huge Christmas dinners. 25 first cousins, a ton of 2nd cousins, boyfriends, friends. We all share the dinner expense, And each family is assigned part of the meal. And everybody brings beverages. But no one says everybody pay 21 dollars to so and so. Tacky. That's like having a cash bar at a wedding.

It should become a potluck with assigned dishes.

Why would one person want to do that much cooking, anyway??

Charging is tacky. But how many people are we talking about, OP? We had 9 people this year at Thanksgiving dinner, which is not huge but we still all contributed food for the meal.

You DO NOT CHARGE RELATIVES if you invite them for a meal. How absolutely crass & vulgar.

Tight old cunt. She clearly had to have a cesarean.

Perhaps the mum is in financial distress and cannot pull it off on her own. Sad, but could very well be the reason.

Then she shouldn't be hosting that many people. Some other family member should be inviting her over.

What kind of FUCKERY is this???!

The world is going STRAIGHT TO HELL.

[quote] That's like having a cash bar at a wedding.

Off-topic, but in the UK, cash bars at weddings are standard. Americans freak out over it.

Well, that's one good way to ensure that you'll end up being left in some shitty nursing home, alone and forgotten.

And 21 fucking bucks? Isn't that more than what most crappy buffets charge (it's been forever since I've eaten out)?

If it was $5 or $10 it would still be tacky as shit, but a little less preposterous.

That just HAS to be some yankee bitch ! A southern woman would die and go to hell before even thinking of charging her family for food.

Family dinners are supposed to even out. If everyone has everyone else over during the year then they've spent $21 on the Christmas hosts in advance, or something like that. It would be poor manners to keep count, of course, and good manners to just have your parents or siblings and their families over for dinner once in a while.

The fact that the daughter-in-law is going to her parents for Christmas rather than put up with this shit tells me that maybe that's not happening.

Hell, a southern woman would invite 2 people for dinner and have enough food to feed them all with leftovers for a week. Or as my grandfather used to say when he'd look over the bounty on the table "there's enough food here for a log rolling".

R10 Cash bar means my wedding present is smaller. Same if they require "black tie" for a tux. I take it off what I would have given them.

It’s nice to see granny living by the Christmas spirit!

Pathetic; she’s not a chef and her house isn’t a restaurant therefore paying is absurd.

Put it this way, does she expect a tip? Of course not; charging at all is just as absurd.

She might ask people to bring certain side dishes, desserts and/or drinks or even some main dish as a pot luck, but charging relatives is simply tacky.

Would Fanny Cradock ever pull a stunt such as this?

My family has always had a cash bar at weddings for a number of hours, followed by a cash-bar at a time when you just want the drunks to go home.

$21 bucks for some underdone turkey and Kraft Mac 'n' cheese?

Bite me.

Does the tacky, cheap cunt accept credit/debit or cash only?

R22, Cash or Bitcoin only.

OP, what's the rest of the story? You know there's more.

[quote]I saw this somewhere on the internet.

What more proof could anyone ask for?

If the Mother won't accept other people bringing food then it's really her problem.

If somebody felt inclined to pitch in towards groceries, that's a thoughtful thing to do, but it should always be voluntary.

I think the hostess, if she is short on funds, but likes to host, and has the space, and the family likes going, should quietly ask her GROWN KIDS for chucks of money. DUH

I think it's okay to ask guests to bring along a little food or drink.

See R28 for the correct answer.

The elderly hostess is obligated to prostitute herself in order to raise the needed money.

When Mom is on her deathbed I will charge her 21 bucks an hour for visits -- time and a half if she's hooked up to a catheter.

if she can't afford to feed her guests, she shouldn't host the damn dinner!

This Thanksgiving, for the first time I can remember, I had no invites. That actually didn't bother me at all. I saw my next-door and his wife welcoming all their kids and grandkids over for a big feast, and everyone was bringing various dishes. Later in the day, he called me and said they had had a great meal, and I wanted to bring me some of it to share with me. He said they had macaroni and cheese with lobster, chili, and sage stuffing that he knew I would love. I hate to reject hospitality, but I'm actually a little squeamish about eating food prepared by other people. Anyway, when he delivered the food, he gave me a big "Happy Thanksgiving, buddy!" and told me how much he loved me. Thanksgiving is about showing appreciation. Hopefully someone appreciates you, and hopefully, you appreciate other people. Money shouldn't be a part of it, unless you've decided to go out to a restaurant (which I've done before).

I meant the opposite:

My family has always had an OPEN bar at weddings for a number of hours, followed by a cash bar at a time when you just want the drunks to go home.

R34, are you the family golden retriever?

What really should happen is whoever has the best job in the family should underwrite the cost of the dinner by quietly writing the matriarch a check. It's only going to be a few hundred dollars...so no biggie.

If mom is on a fixed income and nobody else wants to host, it would be nice for some of her more prosperous children to give her a gift of cash "to help with the holiday expenses".

But not to specifically cover the one dinner, because then the temptation to think that means you get to tell everyone what to do would be too strong.

Charging a per-person fee is monumentally tasteless, and makes it obvious that the family dynamic is full of unexpressed resentments.

Bring Your Own Ramen.

If she provides the entire package, I don't see a problem with it. It's like we have done for years. Eat in a restaurant. So much easier.

r5 has it right.

And the mother, if this is true, is a cunt.

If she's cash strapped, guests should take up a collection for the. costs.

I cooked Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for relatives several times. I don't need paid. But I got tired of people eating and leaving, and just one other helping to clean-up. It is work all day.

I will bring prepared dishes elsewhere, help clean, but am not hosting again. Relatives can take advantage of generosity and show little appreciation.

Yep, totally a Yankee bitch. A southern woman would be aghast at the mere suggestion.

Isn’t this way the next generation is supposed to take the stewardship of the family holidays before granny is on a fixed income and going a little batty?

Agree with an earlier post: Potluck with assigned 'dishes.' Additionally, for those who don't RSVP for assigned dishes, but have indicated they plan to attend, THEY get to 'Do The Dishes' (clean the kitchen, every effin' part of it). Make this VERY clear: no vote, no discussion.

I have 4 siblings and all have kids, some of whom are married. All in we are 31 people. My brothers wife was tired of hosting thanksgiving after 30 years. I can't blame her. So I was volunteered. My sister flew in to help , one brother bought pies, one cheesecakes,and one wine. The 13 grown children who are all in their 20s and early 30s brought me some flowers and chocolates. We tried to doll put some sides to them but it didn't take. All in the meal cost about $1000, which my sister split thank God. I always host Christmas Eve but I'm catering that out and going with apps and a sliced ham. My parents died when we were young so my sisters and I have been cooking since out teens but the next generation is so entitled no one will step up and take over.

With her attitude, she might as well install a cash register at the dining room table.

Let's get real: if a pay-to-play is involved, then it is up to the eldest immediate children of the host to 'pass the hat.' Leave Mom out of it.

(She's suffered enough.)

Maybe she's hinted or directly asked for help but no one has. Even if they offered to buy the turkey and have her cook it it would be a relief. A good thanksgiving meal with app, desserts and wine for 10 will be about $500. People don't understand how much of a dent that can take in someone's bank account.

Christmas -- the time of year when you look around the table and wonder: how the hell am I related to these people.

[quote] Cash bar means my wedding present is smaller. Same if they require "black tie" for a tux. I take it off what I would have given them.

Just stay at home.

Mom should pay for the dinner and tell her guests that this is her gift to each of them.

She’s getting off cheap spending only $21 per person on her “gifts”.

Is Golden Corral open on Christmas:

My family has charged for years. We rotate and whoever hosts get the money to put on the dinner and therefore nobody has to bring anything, we charge $25 a head...we all,love it. There is about 35 of us

My family charges well, what's the big deal? We even get a discount if we pay in cash.

Could one do free range and organic for 25 a head? does that include Booze? seems lowball but maybe just a modest spread and people are happy.

OP, have you been reading Mumsnet again?

Or following Fox News?

I guess if you have a big family. 35 for dinner? I don’t think I’ve met 35 relatives in my lifetime and 95% of those are now dead anyway.

This is customary in Romani culture.

I have four sisters and a brother, our parents now deceased, and we have a big traditional Italian Christmas Eve seafood dinner, including King Crab legs, shrimp dishes, crab-stuffed mushroom, stuffed manicotti, eggplant, salads, desserts, etc.

It gets pretty pricey so of course we all chip in.

On Thanksgiving and Christmas Day, my partner, daughter and I go to his niece's family, and they provide the turkey and all the fixings, and of course they don't charge us anything; we bring the desserts.

[quote]I cooked Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for relatives several times. I don't need paid. But I got tired of people eating and leaving, and just one other helping to clean-up. It is work all day.

Maybe if you weren't a spineless doormat, you could've "gently suggested" (read: demanded) that others pitch in to clean up.

This year my sister brought and made the turkey at the Rents and everyone else brought side dishes. I have a big family and my brother, another sister, and I did all the dishes afterwards while the rest got to relax and talk. I only resent one B-I- L who brings nothing and helps no one. I think that's how most people do it right? Charging money is so weird. I think I'd skip it if that were the case or I'd show up already with a chip on my shoulder.

Jeebus.... That is beyond tacky. I never heard of that. As others have said, have everyone contribute a dish for the dinner... cutting expenses and the time for the host? Everyone make a side, someone bring a dessert, wine.. liquor, for example. Fa La La... real Christmas spirit.. haha.. Fuck that family gathering. Bah humbug.

[quote]I only resent one B-I- L who brings nothing and helps no one.

Is he an ex-B.I.L.? If not, then didin't his wife contribute to the food and/or cleanup?

And if not, again, why the fuck are so many DLers so goddamn spineless? (see R62 above) If someone's not pitching in, FUCKING TELL THEM TO, problem solved!

[quote],...but I'm actually a little squeamish about eating food prepared by other people.

I guess you never eat at restaurants.

Should a flat fee be charged or should they be charged by how much they consume? Have a scale handy in the foyer and weigh them before and after mealtime. Extra for alcohol, of course.

If one were to volunteer for garbage detail, might that not count as a qualifying contribution?

Dine N' Dash on that ho.

[quote]I saw this somewhere on the internet.

means 'it never happened.'