I quit Grindr last week

What STD did you get?

[quote] —Was it The AIDS?

AIDS is so 1997. I'm on prep girl, but I got the clap.

Because gay hookup apps are a sea of desperation and shameless self-promotion. There are rarely quality men there, just narcissists, sex addicts, and married/partnered/boyfriended men scouting the room for a better offer. Unless you’re one of the above, “quitting” Grindr should not be an issue. STDs are a perfectly logical outcome when you find your sex partners on these apps.

But everyone's on PrEP! Because they say they are, it must be true! Life is a banquet!

[Quote]I didn't miss it until today

MARY!

It's been one week.

The apps are very addicting and designed to keep you constantly refreshing. What if your neighbor with the six pack and the 11 inch cock is looking for YOU right now?

I am not sure why you are addicted. it is easy to live without.

Grinder is dark sided!

[quote] I am not sure why you are addicted. it is easy to live without.

Yes, because OP is alone with having this issue. You type fat R7.

R3 go back to your coma grandma

I still haven't "quit" Grindr (I should). Now that I'm in my 30s, the concept of casual sex just isn't all that interesting or exciting as it was in my 20s. I only go on every few weeks, but when I do I find myself wasting several hours interacting with men I'm ultimately not going to meet. Yeah, sex sounds nice, but I am not gonna venture out in midwestern winter temperatures to get off with a dude, whose pics are likely 5 years old and a crappy lay. Nor am I gonna wait 45 min to an hour for a guy to arrive at my place. I've said it before, and I will say it again, sex really isn't as great as we humans make it out to be and it's definitely not worth the hassle most of the time.

MY FRIENDS...HOW CAN I DOWNLOAD "GRINDER"...?? MY PHONE ONLY HAS A DIALER AND CALCULATOR.

BILL TAYLOR You’ll have to contact Grindr and ask for their source code. Now here’s the tricky part! You’re up for it! Use the phone to enter all the bits 16 at a time at time. There’s around 2 million lines of code and that’s 8 million bits so it’ll take you a while and you can’t make any mistakes. But, Persevere! Persevere!

OP, simply embrace your sluttery.

Grindr just enables sex addiction. You have one amazing encounter and spend the next year hoping to find someone that will give you the same thrill...but you rarely do

I quit when I met my partner. Now when friends with Grindr come over, we make them open the app so we can judge the nearby boys.

Hey, OP! I managed to quit. In fact, I’ve been so successful that I’ve already quit Grindr six times!

live the eldergay dream, OP. once upon a time, there was no Grindr. Get thee to a truckstop.

I quit Grindr because there's no one attractive around me, it's been awhile so i might see if anything has changed.

Grindr is a poor substitute for the Craigslist of yore, but the puritans in Congress did away with that. I'm tempted to go back to A4A, but it's not the same as it was 15 years ago either. Sigh......

A4A??

Adam4Adam

When the sex sites became popular almost all the bars closed. And suddenly guys weren't 'gay' anymore, but 'bi'.

I think #15 nails it: it's addictive just like gambling, food and dope. Gay men everywhere spending hours and hours of their lives tippy-tapping on their computers or Smartphones- hoping.

I don't think they can even have relationships anymore. They are addicted to the danger and excitement.

Well, R20, you're not the same as YOU were 15 years ago.

Can’t you guys meet people in the normal way? Why always with apps?

We desperate for people to like us so we’re always on Grindr

Good for you, OP. Work on yourself and venture out into the real world. If you want something different, you won't find it doing the same thing. Sign up for classes, go out more, be more extraverted, events, etc. The key is - PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE. Quality will never be found online.

Convenience - see America's skyrocketing obesity rates. Need I say more?

I used to have it in my iphone but it crashed and I decided not to install it again, I kept using it too much. I now only have it my ipad and look at it once a week or so and rarely act on it. Actually I have been doing better at the clubs.

[Quote]Actually I have been doing better at the clubs.

Me, too. Are clubs making a comeback in this regard?

R28, ditto. I keep getting hit on and see guys wanting to come up and say hi the more I become engaged with what's happening around me. And yes, the Grindr crowd is...special. And not in a good way. It is the bottom of the barrel.

R16 hasn’t quit.

I left two years ago. Just rejoined. I’m exceedingly direct in what appears to be a non-grindr sort of what about what I am and what I don’t want. Still in the fresh meat stage. Not fooled by it, and lots of offers, which is typical. One hyperintelligent conversation that resulted in swapping telephone numbers to meet. Probably for career mentoring which I’m happy to do.

Some things are more important than sex and if you ever claim I said that I’ll pretend I wasn’t paying attention.

I only just 'discovered' Grindr. I'm 55. I've been in a LTR for 29 years. Back when I was single, old fashioned cruising in parks and bars was the norm - and I loved it then, when I was young, hung and 21.

But nearly 30 years of monogamy has taken it's toll. I'm bored to tears with the sex. Love everything else about the relationship, but sexually just bored. Lately, I've been longingly remembering cruising and anonymous hook-ups. My husband and I jokingly tease each other about doing random boys who are "half your age," as if that were some kind of impossibility. I even began to think that my Bucket List would include having sex with someone 1/2 my age.

So out of curiosity a couple weeks ago I started looking at Grindr. Didn't take long to figure that out. 2nd day on it and I met up after work with a man my age, we had a quick rendezvous at his place. It wasn't great, but it was different and I enjoyed the quick anonymity about it.

Then a week later, I met up with a 24 year old. Hot and with a big uncut dick. It was a total Blow-N-Go ... and it was probably the best oral sex I've had in 30 years. We both got a decent work out and he came LOADS. And - I'm sure you've done the math - he was less than 1/2 my age. I was thrilled.

I've been euphoric ever since and don't feel like such a tired old Eldergay anymore. Tonight I chatted with and traded some real time pics with an 18 year old and while we didn't agree to meet, it was a hot little encounter.

So I'm old enough and not too stupid to see Grindr for what it is. And I'm gonna play just a little bit more with it before I just let it go and get back to my monogamous existence. But I have found that it has refreshed the batteries a little. I guess this is what modern day cruising is these days, and it kinda has the same old sense of danger and spontaneity as in the old days. I think gay life is better for that, frankly, but I'm also happy and thrilled to be married to a life-long partner.

Does your husband know R33?

I actually quit the other day. I'm 38 and not into younger guys but they're the only ones who wanted to hook up with me.

Call me up at your place. I can love you crazy.

In the heat you will understaaaaaaaand.

Danger and excitement, that’s what makes a lady

Find out what she wants in a maaaaaaan!

90 percent of the guys on grindr have gay voice, i miss craigslist.

Did you go on scruff or some other similar instead op?

I quit when every bottom on it decided that wanting to use condoms was a crazy and unreasonable request and also when the evil homophobic Chinese guys took over.

Grindr denizens are the lowest of the low: entitled rock stupid ugly twinks, catfishers and trannies. I use Grindr to troll people in my hometown. When I travel to major cities, like Chicago or NYC, then Grindr is useful for scoring dick.

Scruff has more high quality users. I’ve actually made some good friends off of that app.

R33, boo hoo, and what a selfish asshole you are. I guess you are unfamiliar with the truism, "You can't have your cake and eat it too."

I think it's pretty obvious from the post, although not explicitly stated, that you have somehow neglected to inform your partner of these extra-curricular activities, even though they are entirely his business. Coward. Your blithe, "bored to tears" sense of entitlement to this escapade is both repellent and misguided. And BTW, you should stop referring to your relationship as a monogamous one, because it isn't any longer. Lastly, good luck with that "I'm gonna play with it a little more before I just let it go" plan/resolve. Spoken like a true idiot of the self-indulging sort.

At 55 you should have a smarter head screwed into your shoulders, but then again there's nothing so fulfilling as trying to resurrect the feeling of being "young, hung and 21," right? ...What a jerk.

--Bump--

Wow. DL really has been taken over by priggs ... or millennials. Lighten up, R41.

R43, God forbid a millennial should be appalled at the thought of someone investing three decades of their life with someone and committing to monogamy (which, yes, takes work) only to discover his partner has decided to come up with his own set of self-indulgent rules and casually inventory the "hotness" of his new "freedom" on an Internet discussion board. I fail to see how that qualifies that dude (the millennial, not the douchebag) as being a prig. [And I suppose you will call me priggish for pointing out that prig is spelled with a single "p," not two.]

As far as the need to lighten up, if R33 can't stand the heat sent his way by R41, then he needs to stay out of the kitchen. Would you also suggest R41's partner "lighten up" about the situation when R41 graces him with a newly acquired STD (perhaps the same one the OP caught)?

The traditional gift for a 30th anniversary is pearl, so maybe R41 could say "Honey, in honor of our 30th, I have been swallowing tons of strangers' cum--which is beautifully pearlescent, after all--and it has allowed me to gift you with [insert STD here]. I didn't say anything about it before, Darling, because I wanted it to be a surprise. You deserve the best. ENJOY!"

I liked Datalounge when there were fewer judgemental cunts voicing their opinion. Just saying.

So that was what, five minutes after launch?

Grindr turned me into a Concerned Lesbian!

R45, spoken like someone who doesn't like to be "judged" himself, because he probably treats people shitty just like that 55 year old does, and doesn't like to be called out on it. Just sayin'.

[quote]And I suppose you will call me priggish for pointing out that prig is spelled with a single "p," not two.

Don't you just love it when holier-than-thou DL'ers make typos ... while calling out someone else's typo?

Oh, I get it - R41 / R44 / R48 just recently discovered that his long term boyfriend is still on Grindr.

R50. Lol. Or his wife!

R49, hey dunderhead, don't you just love it when morons try to say that it's rich "when holier-than-thou Dl'ers makes typos...while calling out someone else's typo" when in fact there's no typo in the "holier-than-thou's" post? Tsk, tsk, it's best that the feeble-minded don't attempt to play with irony when so ill-suited for it.

Shall I spell it out for you (no pun intended), since you are stupid enough not to realize that "prig" is correctly spelled with one "p" and "priggish" correctly with two? I guess that's too complicated for you to grasp without some help. Good luck studying for your GED. [You may now insert your foot into your mouth, or better yet, up your arse.]

you do realize you've typed 'p' instead of 'g', don't you?

R53, R52 has been so blinded by his own self-righteous rage that he has failed to see his own mistake. LOL

R52 good Lord, you need a handful of pills.

Lol at R45. You haven’t been here long, dear.

As an older man, I am surprised at how much 20-something dick I've been getting. And no, I'm not 'gen' - and have only been asked if I were once.

I'm kinda liking it!

I quit all the apps 6 months ago. Only miss it when I travel.

I'm a mature fellow how gets more 20 something dick than I can manage. My dance card is full. They often want to buy ME dinner. Some have asked how much I cost. I am also a European prince, and a professor of physics at CalTech, and I have a net worth of 10 million, and I speak Sanskrit and play the Cithare and viola and write operas and have a horse farm and organic garden. I appreciate fine cigars which I share with my young lovers.

This is all you need to know about Grindr.

OK, here it is.

Do colored people use this?

[DL Operational Question - Why is R23 comment greyed out / crossed out and "Troll 5393" in red amended to his post?]

Too many F&Fs.

I used Grindr a lot to hook up with guys upstate and in NYC in my late 30's and early 40's.

But now, well into my 40's, I look at Grindr and Scruff almost daily and have only met one person from Grindr, four years ago (and we only had a nice dinner date, no sex). Why use it all the time and never hook-up? Simply because it's so entertaining.

I live in a popular upstate NY town and it's always interesting to see who might be in town. Fresh faces. I'll send woofs to people and maybe flirt some in chat, send a few pics. But never with any promises to hook-up, I'm always honest. If they get too persistent I'll block them or just ghost them. If I run into one of these strangers locally in person, we might recognize one another and maybe nod hello or whatever and then go our separate ways because there's an unwritten rule that what happens on Grindr stays on Grindr. It's no big deal.

In addition, some of my friends in town use it like normal chat and will contact people to hang out as friends, like it's a social media app, not for sex.

Looking at it daily is just a nice diversion, fun, and can keep me informed about who's in town, what's going on. Many of my gay male friends all over the world have told me they use it in a similar way, mainly just for the entertainment of browsing the app itself.

You realize that you’re allowing yourself to be tracked by the Chinese and the president of Grindr is a communist homophobe?

The best of Grindr in LA: not knowing if you recognize someone from Grindr or their car commercial

deleted it years ago because all I encountered were bots and young guys kitting me up for money.

Grindr is owned by the Chinese who use it to gather personal data(and a possible hacking tool)and the head guy at Grindr doesn't like gay people.

I love you, r59.

That's a very trenchant observation R15.

I gave up Grindr when I realized that I was making it my activity for the evening rather than doing anything constructive. There was that once or twice you'd log on, find a hot guy within 15 minutes and have some great sex ... and other times you'd waste an entire evening talking to guys who would either flake, turn out to be fakes or similar.

Cost/benefit analysis was it just wasn't worth it. Though when I'm traveling it's still kind of fun, especially as a few times I've hooked up with guys staying in the same hotel as me.

Key is also to be smart about it. No barebacking, no rimming, no matter how much prep he says he's on. At least not on the first encounter.

What is the source of all this about the head of Grindr? Does anyone have an article they can share?

r69 Scruff is the better app but majority of all the younger guys still use Grindr. Also people on Scruff tend to be more selective.

I am a commuter into Washington DC by train daily, it's fun to see the nearby men on the train and trying to figure out who they are.

Yup R66. I agree - why anyone would use Grindr now is beyond me. I feel like it’s all very old or very young, low-quality guys. Haven’t used in years. Scruff ain’t that great either (at least in LA). Older methy looking dudes and sex addicts. It used to be a lot better (met my ex on it). Tinder seems to be the way to go now. At least people are putting their best foot forward. Funny to see the ones who can’t transition from the slutty Grindr profiles and try to do the same on tinder.

What is the source R72? GOOGLE IT. There are literally multiple articles in every major worldwide publication about how the Chinese president of Grindr is a homophobe and about how an oppressive regime is collecting personal and location info about gay men AROUND THE WORLD.

Gay men are so fucking stupid about sex. Grow up.

The Guardian

NY Times

NBC.

The only thing good about Grindr was the name and the logo.

In the 10011 zip code, it's the same 15 guys constantly.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

All of these apps have short lifespans. The period where there are a lot of hot guys and easy hookups is quickly followed by the period where it's flakes and fakes. The time frame for that also varies depending on where you are located.

Tinder is interesting but it's more like a dating app than a quick hookup app.

That was admittedly the only thing good about Grindr: when it worked right, you could log on and have a relatively hot guy on his knees sucking you off 15 minutes later. Even on CL of yore that was an hour's worth of exchanges.

R82 who cares about fraus being stabbed? This is a gay website...it’s not concerned with the safety of straight vagina bearers.

R84 It seems to be the focus of attention in another thread because of the person with the knife, the meth habit, and the God complex. Pay the fuck attention.

Snark all you want, R59. I posted what happens to be true for me. Sorry if you're not as fortunate.

Would you like an award R86? You’re an old whore. Congratulations.

R57, R86: So, um, tell us which one is you? Doing so would add to your cred. Or strip you of it, I guess.

If you'd rather not tell us, I imagine it'd be easy enough to inquire as to who's known for playing the cithare, has princely status, speaking Sanskrit, etc. With all those data points, it should be easy, if true.

Shall we start with a grad student in your department?

Clearly Grindr's usefulness is contingent upon where you live. I live in NYC and I use it very specifically and I am very direct. I only want my dick sucked and body contact. No fucking. Definitely no rimming.

It's rare that I don't find a hot guy who just wants to suck a nice dick without complications.

My rules are: clear face and body pics. Like real estate, guys only hide what they know won't close the deal. Full nude frontal and a clear face pic and a no drugs.

Anyone wavers on any of that and I move on immediately.

Sorry, R88. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

What is so hard to understand? I'm nearly 60. I've hooked up about 6 or 7 times on Grindr - and they've ALL been in their 20's.

What's not to enjoy about that?

I love older guys... but not slutty ones.

R89, you sound deadly terrible and boring

R89 sounds efficient

R89 sounds repulsive.

bump

Too much of our self worth comes from our success in attracting hookups.

Then you have sex and the thrill evaporates...until you have another hook up.

OP is just describing his addiction

[quote] In the 10011 zip code, it's the same 15 guys constantly.

That’s because in Chelsea, all the straights have moved in, kicking out the gays