Why I Answered My Dad’s Gay Sex Ad

Once he finished, I pretended I wanted to get on Instant Messenger. Instead, I downloaded a hacker program that secretly logged all encrypted keystrokes on our family computer. By the end of the week I’d gathered the passwords for everyone’s email accounts, including several with names like “Porndog” and “Horny69.”

With an eye on the door, I logged in. There were hundreds of emails from men with equally sexual screen names. Addresses and photos were being exchanged. Some of the boys looked my age. I was completely out of my depth. “Gay” was an insult people hurled in the hallways of my middle school — I didn’t realize there were actually men who liked having sex with other men, and I’d never have imagined my father was one of them.

I couldn’t reconcile this information with what I believed to be true about my family. It wasn’t my own deception, but it made my life and my identity feel like a lie. I was sitting in our family room with sunlight streaming through the windows and my childhood artwork decorating the walls, but I felt like a dark part of myself had been exposed. I was no longer living in a world where some of us were entitled to wag a finger of judgment.

It took hours, but I read every single email. When I was done I logged out of the account, deleted the hacker program and decided to pretend like it had never happened. I needed to believe the lie and continue being the smiling daughter of a godly man. To accept the truth was to lose everything I’d ever known and I was afraid of what I would be left with.

The years passed and I never said a word. I hid the secret inside of me but it began to take a toll. First there were blinding headaches so intense I’d be curled up on the bathroom floor, hugging the toilet. Mom took me to a doctor and he told me I had migraines. The next year I began to suffer from excruciating stomach pain that left me unable to eat. Mom took me to a doctor and he told me I had ulcers. After that, my hair began to fall out. My body turned against me and refused to give me my period. Every month my Mom would buy more tampons and I’d hide them in the bathroom cabinet with a year’s worth of unopened boxes. She eventually took me to another doctor and he told me I had depression. We stopped going to doctors.

Two days before I started my freshman year of college my car broke down on the side of the road. Mom was busy at a church fundraiser so Dad came to rescue me. We were rarely alone together but he was in a good mood and told jokes as we followed the tow truck. I remember feeling confused by how easily I could laugh aloud while simultaneously despising him. Until then I’d never acknowledged the source of these feelings, but the looming freedom of adulthood lured me into thinking it was finally safe. I decided I would tell my Mom that night.

I was the only one of my siblings still living at home. My brothers were either engaged or married, and starting their own families. I ate dinner with my parents, then they sat down to watch an episode of “24.” I knelt at the edge of the couch where my mom sat.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Wait for a commercial,” she said without looking up.

I told her it would take longer than a commercial.

“Then wait till the show is over.”

“Please,” I said. “It’s important.”

She finally looked away from the TV and a brief flicker of alarm crossed her face. Then she laughed.

“It can wait.”

I told her it couldn’t. I told her it was something that would ruin her life.

“You can ruin my life when this show is over.”

I went to my room and waited. Half an hour later she walked in and sat on my bed.

“Okay,” she said. “Ruin my life.”

I’d never seen my mom cry, but she was sobbing when I finished. I knew so little about this woman who’d spent the last eighteen years seeing to my every need. I had no understanding of who she’d been before she met my father. I worried I’d shattered her world and stolen her happiness, but it turned out she’d known he was gay since the second year of their marriage. She said she’d stayed “for the kids” and apologized that I’d found out the truth. She swore she hated him and planned to leave after my brother got married in a few months.

Then she told me I could never tell anyone about it.

“I will do whatever it takes to make you okay,” she said.

She suggested I delay my college enrollment and go stay with her cousin in Seattle. I was too numb to even think about it. I couldn’t believe I’d spent so many years keeping a secret when my Mom had known about it all along. That next day I packed everything into my repaired Honda Civic and moved into the college dorms.

When a week passed and I didn’t show up for family lunch on Sunday, Dad became suspicious. Mom told him everything and he demanded to speak with me. My phone would not stop ringing.

“Come home,” Mom pleaded. “We need to talk.”

I agreed to meet them at a local ice cream parlor where softball teams went after practice and small children smeared mint chocolate chip all over their faces. We sat on opposite sides of a vinyl booth while my Dad explained it all away.

“I hate myself for having done this to you,” he said with a practiced mix of shame and humility. “I should have killed myself a long time ago. I still pray for the courage to go through with it.”

His words were shocking and his eyes misty, but I could see a calculated coldness in them. He stayed quiet until I told him what he wanted to hear.

“No,” I said, “I don’t want you to kill yourself.”

His performance was so impressive I almost missed the part where he denied everything.

“You have to understand, it was only a passing thing. I’ve never acted on any of those thoughts. I am not…that way.”

He couldn’t even say it.

“Gay?” I asked.

Both my parents flinched.

“That’s a choice I would never make,” he snapped.

My Mom leaned forward like a Girl Scout closing a cookie sale.

“Does that answer everything for you?”

I nodded, not nearly as convincing a liar as my father. But apparently he wasn’t done.

“Only God in heaven knows why you saw what you did, but I’m sure he will use it for his good purpose, to bring the family closer to him.”

I turned to look out the window, saying nothing.

“So we’ll see you at family lunch next Sunday,” he finished.

When I didn’t show up as instructed, he launched a campaign of prayer against me.

“Dear Heavenly Father, our daughter is in such a rebellious phase…”

My brothers and sisters-in-law came to me on the sly, confused about why I’d become so “selfish.”

“I don’t know what more we could do for her,” my dad said. “We’ve given her everything. Perhaps we’ve spoiled her.”

Secretly, my mom continued telling me she planned to leave him after my brother’s wedding. Then autumn passed and a miracle occurred.

“He’s healed now,” she said. “He no longer struggles with…that.”

I tried to use the word “gay” again but she shushed me. I asked what word better described a man who snuck off to have sex with men while his wife and kids thought he was at work. This only made her angry.

“Your lack of forgiveness is very ugly.”

* * *

I decided I would prove it to her. Surely if she saw what I’d seen, she would have to face the truth. I began coming home to sleep in my old bed. I claimed I didn’t like living in the dorms when in reality I was sneaking into my dad’s office to go through his computer every night. I’d pore over his Internet history, documenting every sex chat room and adult hookup site. I was always careful to charge the laptop back to the same percentage it had been before I slid it back into his briefcase. After several weeks I’d compiled a spreadsheet full of recent activity. I showed it to my Mom, confident she would finally believe me.

“I don’t really understand how all of this works,” she said, puzzling over the timestamps and URLs. “I’ll ask your father about it later.”

He told her it was a misunderstanding, that I was clearly on a path of destruction. They decided to change the locks to their house.

* * *

A few months later my mom invited me over for lunch while Dad was on a business trip. I spent the entire afternoon listening to her lecture me on the importance of forgiveness. She said their marriage was stronger than ever. While she was in the bathroom I snuck into my old bedroom and cracked a window. It was just enough to keep it from latching but not enough for her to notice.

Later that night I parked at the end of their gravel road and walked the rest of the way in darkness. The house was silent as I slid the screen off the window and climbed through. I wasn’t sure when I’d have my next opportunity so I took screenshots of his entire image library and downloaded his emails to a flash drive. My friends texted me about going to a party but I didn’t have time to meet them — I was too busy guessing my dad’s password to Adult Friend Finder.

I took everything I’d found and finally told my brothers.

“Whoa,” one of them said. “I remember when I was nine and I said sailboats were gay. I wonder if that offended him.”

With my brothers and me on the same side, we called a big TV-style family meeting. I brought another spreadsheet I’d made to contrast his various trysts and online sexcapades with things like “this was the night we watched ‘White Christmas’” or “this was when he emailed me a Bible verse about the hardness of my heart.”

I thought I could persuade my mom by charting his exchange of dick pics next to her housework schedule. But it didn’t work.

“You are blinded by your own sin,” she said.

My father’s responses were even worse.

“I’ve touched the robe of Jesus. It doesn’t matter what you say, I’m healed. All you’re doing is trying to tempt me, but I’m stronger than that.”

He sent me long emails about how I was a tool of the devil. I pictured him with two computer screens open — one for looking up scripture, and another to Mapquest the location of his next bathroom rendezvous.

We were never going to have the cool kind of gay dad.

* * * I stopped speaking to both of my parents, but I didn’t stop trying to expose him. Every time he denied my accusations, I became more motivated to dig deeper. It angered me that a man like him could so easily hide within the walls of a church or a seemingly happy home.

My mom informed me they would no longer pay my tuition so I took out a semester’s worth of student loans. I promptly failed my classes because I was too busy scouring homosexual hookup sites in search of my father. I decided to drop out of college but I was too ashamed to tell my roommates, so I kept leaving my house at the same time every day. They thought I was going to class but I was really parked outside my dad’s office, trying to catch him in the act.

I became obsessed. I was afraid I’d only ever existed as part of his cover story, but I no longer feared what I’d be left with when his lie was exposed. I decided my new reason for existing was so I could rescue my mom.

I’d almost given up hope when I stumbled across an online persona known as “Kyle Big Guy.” There was no photo, but I could tell it was him by the way he wrote and his preference for younger men. His generous Christianity came across in his willingness to give blowjobs without need for reciprocity. To prove it was him, I responded to the ad. I told him I was a seventeen-year-old named Rex who was looking to hook up with an older man.

He responded almost immediately. I wondered whether he was e-mailing from the couch while my Mom folded his laundry. Either way, I was going to bust him. This was going to be my smoking gun.

The next afternoon I purchased a prepaid cell phone and asked a male friend to record a voicemail message I’d written out on a sticky note.

“Hey this is Rex, sorry I missed your call. Leave a message and I’ll get right back to you.”

He sounded nervous and confused. It was perfect.

I e-mailed the number to “Kyle” and told him to give me a call. Shortly after five p.m. the prepaid phone began to ring. I shrunk back on the couch, watching it vibrate on my coffee table. My Dad’s number lit up the caller ID as it rang six… seven…eight times.

The room was painfully silent until the phone buzzed with a notification. He’d left a voicemail.

“Hi Rex, this is Kyle. You don’t need to be nervous, I’ll make sure you have a good time.”

His voice sounded the same as when he led Bible studies or repeatedly proclaimed, hand over heart, “I’ve only ever had sex with your mother.”

He left instructions to meet him behind a sporting goods store at two p.m. the next day. I was scheduled to work so I called my two oldest brothers. They decided to show up and record everything. He bolted, they followed him, and he finally stopped, ready for the confrontation.

The camera rolled as they waited for something to happen. The low rumble of their car engines filled the silence until my dad finally rolled his window down. His face was calm and smug.

“I knew it was you,” he said with a smirk.

My brother reminded him he was there to have sex with a minor.

“Why does it give you such joy to believe I’m a monster?” my dad asked. “I came here because I knew you were trying to trap me. I would never actually do anything like this.”

They tried to tell him how stupid he sounded, but he held up his hand like a martyr.

“I’m not going to listen to all of this hatred. I’ve been forgiven and healed. You need to deal with your own sin.”

Later that night, we called my mom. She answered on the second ring, her voice cheerful and happy to hear from us. We told her what had happened.

“It must have been a misunderstanding,” she said.

I began to cry, I was so frustrated. There was no way she could explain away the voicemail and the video of her husband in that parking lot.

“You need to learn to forgive,” she said between long airy sighs.

“Please,” my brother said. “Just leave him. We can take care of you. You can see your grandkids again.”

The phone was silent for a moment, and then I heard the sound of the refrigerator opening.

“Listen,” she finally said. “Your father will be home soon and I need to get this bread in the oven.”

This was the last time I ever tried to convince my mom of anything. I’d become so obsessed with trying to save her that I’d almost lost myself.

Several years later my father was arrested for trying to have sex with an undercover police officer in a local park. The news ran his mug shot and he was forced to retire from his high-powered job. Only then was he willing to admit he “struggled with same sex attraction,” promptly leveraging it into a new platform for book sales. Mom continued to run his PR campaign and still smiles happily on the jacket cover next to the line that describes him as a proud father of five.

MARY!

To be honest, it reads like an EST.

The topic is very dramatic.....if it is someone's real story, it just seems odd that both parents would so tenaciously stick to their story/narrative even after so many times of being caught and confronted.

[quote]it just seems odd that both parents would so tenaciously stick to their story/narrative even after so many times of being caught and confronted.

R7, you have obviously never met anyone whose business is Jesus. They are worse than Amway sales reps. Jesus pushers will NEVER go off-brand. No matter what sex crimes they are caught committing, they are always "forgiven". They are holier than thou and will always stick to the message that fills their bank account.

She appears to be real. Here's a link to an Oprah article where she tells the same story.

I don’t get why this girl was so obsessed with trying to out her father. I mean I love pointing out the hypocrisy of the evangelical loonies but why didn’t she just cut him off? He and her mom were clearly a toxic lost cause.

There are many supposed Jesus loving dads like this all over the country.

Also: did thecbrothers cut the father off because he was gay? Is that the takeaway from them telling mom “you can see your grandkids again”? This seems really strange - is she on our side or theirs?

[quote]it just seems odd that both parents would so tenaciously stick to their story/narrative even after so many times of being caught and confronted.

Nobody does denial like a fundie closet case caught with their hand in the cookie jar, though deplorables run a close second.

Dear Lord in Heaven!

Number one: You are horrible.

Number two: Your father is horrible.

Number three: Your mother is horrible.

Number four: Apparently Jesus is horrible.

Number five: Rex is probably horrible.

[quote] There were hundreds of emails from men with equally sexual screen names. Addresses and photos were being exchanged. Some of the boys looked my age.

Oh, my.

Is the father a top or bottom?

R17, with screen names like PornDog and Horny69, it's a bit difficult to decipher. Could be a toss-up.

I wonder if any of those boys communicating with her dad were her classmates?

The brainwashing and the hypocrisy nearly pushed this girl over the edge, but they are good things to rail against.

The dad's a shameless cumsloppy bottom.

The mom is pathetic.

Cut or uncut?

Wow - somebody really has diahrea (sp?) of the mouth.

[quote]I promptly failed my classes because I was too busy scouring homosexual hookup sites in search of my father.

All of these people are messed up

The article says the dad would offer bj's without reciprocation--so bottom

The parents are pathetic.

But the daughter is a troll.

The parents ran an elaborate scam on the kids their whole lives. The kids need to cut all ties. The parents are toxic.

The Lord never gives you a dick you can't handle.

Isn't He good to us?

Praise God!

Do we have nudes of the Dad?

Is her father Erna?

r27 Would you feel the same way if the father was cheating on the mother with underage girls? I'm gay, but I'm trying to see the perspective from both sides. My brother married a woman who turned out to be cheating on him with another woman. I felt sorry for her, because her mother was a controlling bitch and practically forced the marriage, but I don't feel sorry for her because she ruined my brothers life. If she knew she was a lesbian, she should have stopped the relationship before they got married, or at least she could have told my brother that she thinks that she likes women, instead of stringing him along.

He should have had sex with his sons.

The daughter should have minded her own business, period. She snuck into her Dad's office and put a key logger on his system? Elaborate spread sheets of his images? Climbed through the window to do it after he changed the lock? Stalked him, for God's sake? That wouldn't have happened in a black household. She have gotten FUCKED UP the first time she tried/said anything and rightly so. This is the age we're living in now. No one has a right to reasonable privacy, and no on respects the idea of it. This same scenario could be played out in thousands of households, and you dudes who do casual hook-ups with married men know it. I'd like to know where the daughter lives, cause I'd like to kick her ass myself!

The problem is the father preached his whole life that being gay was evil. THAT was the disconnect that sent the daughter on this journey.

The father is a pathetic christian closet case looking for underage sex, he deserves every bit of shame and outing.

I wonder who the dad is? According to the author's background info, she was from Oklahoma. Dad was a PR man for a Fortune 500 firm and a Baptist preacher who wrote books about how to raise a Christian family. He was arrested somewhere, and the church kicked him out. Any clues?

-10/10. How do people read shit like that and not realize it's bullshit?

Per this Reddit page, dad appears to be a guy named Thom Hunter

This is his Facebook page. Gayface?

Here he is:

-100/100 for R38, who probably feels pretty stupid right now.

[quote]I'd like to know where the daughter lives, cause I'd like to kick her ass myself!

Per her bio info she lives in Denver. By all means go and get her. She's dealt with worse than you and lived to tell.

R38 = Thom Hunter.

Here's an old thread that mentions him

Was it colored boys too?

^ hahaha

It's the secrets and gaslighting which hurt the most.

Same as when a parent is discovered to be a gambler or druggie or criminal and then lies, lies, lies. Why wouldn't you end up hating them?

Jesus is as much of a cult as Scientology and Dolt 45. Once you've drunk the Kool Aid you believe anything they tell you, and it's a fix all for all of life's problems.

You're never wrong as long as you follow their rules, and if you slip up it's an instant get out of jail card as long as you keep supporting their institution. That's why they attract the worst kind of hypocrites.

FFS, you boneheads, "author's dad is a closeted gay man" is not the implausible part of the story.

I made it halfway thru Daddy's vid. Slimy. He needs to go away and shut up.

It does seem strange that she was so obsessed and was downloading all of his images. Does that include his own dick pics? Was she soliciting them when she was, "Rex?"

Ew. Did you see him? He's gross.

Wow, I really thought it was fiction as I was reading it. Not the child finding out her father was a hypocritical gay Christian, obviously, but just the OTT of it all. I mean, losing her hair because of it?

The mom is SERIOUSLY brainwashed. I'm glad the children were able to unite agains the parents, so it wasn't just the daughter by herself.

She was probably just disgusted by his hypocrisy R52.

My dad wasn't perfect but if I found out be was cruising for guys while married to my mother, I'd feel kind of bad that he hadn't lived the life he wanted, (but stlll kind of glad I existed all the same). However, if he'd been a repressive Christian cunt lecturing me and everyone else on how to live while giving hot young strangers blow jobs, you can bet your cute little arse I'd be out there calling him on it too.

Maybe not to this extent, but he'd be more than just praying the gay away at this point.

I wonder if he changed his name from Thomas Hunter to Thom Hunter so that people can't google his old sex arrest?

Per the old thread at R45, he claimed in 2009 that he wasn't actually looking for gay sex after having been arrested for soliciting an undercover police officer. Just like he did when he was exposed by his daughter. I wouldn't be surprised if his story is STILL, even after having been caught red-handed several times, that he has never gone so far as to stíck his dick in another man. That it's never gone beyond fantasy. It'll probably take a sex tape for him to fully own up, if that's even possible.

Again, I assert that the daughter should have minded her own business. It's fucking insane that she went to such lengths to out her own father. There's something else going on there. Obviously, the mother always KNEW! She not only disrespected her father, but her mother as well. She's horrid.

The daughter seems like a pretty cool person.

Oh dear, SUCH a long read, turning dreary midway through. Of course none of this is true or stimulating. Still, props for such tenacious writing. Flowery sexual fantasy by bad writers is always such a DL treat!

[quote] "Wow - somebody really has diahrea (sp?) of the mouth. —TLDR;"

Spelling guesses are unacceptable, R24, when you can take a second to Google a word and get it right.

tl;dr it all. Daughter seems like a psycho though. No one knows what's going on in someone else's marriage nor is it any of their business, even if it is their parents.

The daughter definitely has issues. I get being upset and wanting the truth... however, she already knew the truth. There was no need for her to "out" him, especially since her mother, after first being told, obviously didn't care. She tried how many times to convince her mother? At some point, you have to realize that the person is staying no matter what. They've obviously done the cost/benefit analysis and they've made up their mind.

How was this impacting her life?

She sounded as obsessed with her father as he was with dick.

And I don't care what anyone says, there's something wrong with you if you're looking at your dad's dick pics, even if, "for evidence."

Thom Hunter is pathetic shell of a man and is wife is a sad pushover.

Would you be saying that if it was a prominent Rethug bible thumper though, R57 If instead of becoming Trump's bitch, Sarah Huckabee found out her dad was picking up tricks (probably true and I'm calling it) and exposed him to the world.

We'd all be applauding her. Of course that's assuming we weren't secret Rethugs ourselves or Russian troll bots.

Once again the FB fraus have infested a DL thread and turned the guy with ABSOLUTELY NO redeeming qualities into the real victim and turned his daughter who blew the whistle on his phony Jeebus bullshit into the real villain. Congrats girls. Well done once again. Now fk off back to FB.

Her parents were the ones who kept pressuring her to forgive him after she stopped turning up to Sunday lunch, R62. Plus, at some point the dad started telling people she was having a mental breakdown.

I don't blame her for becoming so incensed about his hateful hypocrisy which probably coloured her enture upbringing, that she felt he needed to be taken down. I applaud her. These types of people need to be exposed at every turn.

[quote]Once again the FB fraus have infested a DL thread and turned the guy with ABSOLUTELY NO redeeming qualities into the real victim and turned his daughter who blew the whistle on his phony Jeebus bullshit into the real villain. Congrats girls. Well done once again. Now fk off back to FB.

That's because they wanna fuck the dad.

Bullshit R65, this isn't a poor closeted gay guy who couldn't be himself because of society. He literally lived his life aiding and abetting deplorable cunts (no doubt much like you) while being a hypocrite himself.

"Disrespected" her father, R57? Are you fucking joking? The guy is just a shell of a human being. He preached hate and alienated his children. He deserves nothing but scorn.

All of her four brothers seem to have sided with her against the parents . Wonderful.

Was she the Wrigleyville Cumdump?

If you spell your name "Thom," you might as well have it appliqued on a quilted pink handbag.

R66 yeah, I get that, but there's still something wrong with her for continuing to obsess over it and to go to the extremes she did. Her parents were shit and fucked up. Why did she still want to be a part of that? What did she think was going to happen?

Has she ever explained why she felt the need to do it? I'd be interested in hearing her analysis of what she was hoping to get out of it.

*even if the answer is as simple as she hated him and wanted to fuck his life up.

I love how she wrote his Christianity was evident when he had offered to give " BJs" without any reciprocation. Right. So giving he was.

He's terrible and i'm not sure the fruit falls far from the tree.

Her actions don't really make sense, and she seems the sort of self-righteous person who lacks the ability to reflect about herself. But then narcissistic parents tend to have BPD children.

It is kind of funny that people are holding her to a higher standard than the holier than thou hypocrite who raised her. Typical right wing whataboutism.

It still reads like an EST to me. I definitely agree there are MANY fundie men/couples like this, but I just don't believe this story unfolded as the author claims.

The small church we went to had a core of hard nosed fundamentalists in an otherwise liberal Protestant congregation. Waspy as the day is long.

The main guy of this group I found out later had a woman look after his elderly wife. But the arraingement was he could fuck her anytime in return for living there for free and getting paid a salary.

Christians. People wonder why.

Hah, daughter is awesome. Her mom should stop posting on DL.

My dad was the senior elder in the Jehovah's Witness church I grew up in. He fucked around on my mom their entire marriage, usually with women from the congregations, and my mom knew. It FINALLY caught up with him when one of the women confessed to the body of elders and he was excommunicated. He never would have owned up if that hadn't happened and when he told me about it he compared his plight to the King David and Bathsheba myth. He never said he was wrong for what he did, just that he got busted.

Dad is married to a woman and fucking underage boys on the side and you queens take HIS side?

That's the DL misogyny for ya.

I agree that mom knew all along, and was turning a blind eye, possibly in agreement. Therefore, the daughter was wrong to interfere beyond the first tell. I can appreciate where R57 is coming from because the daughter was on some personal crusade of her own. This has more to do with her than the mom. Let's hope she can maintain that self righteous sense of moral superiority should her own kid find her meth stash and take it to the cops because you know, it's just the eight thing to do.

Right thing to do.

Fuck off to anyone criticizing the daughter. She had every right to out him. He was PUBLICLY lying about his relationship with her, and therefore about her, to sell his family values bullshit. You can't use people that way then fall back on "none of your business."

And when the daughter even hinted at cutting them out of her life the father waged a "prayer campaign" against her and trash talked her to her siblings and other family members. She was just lucky that her siblings ended up supporting her. If you don't understand how much he put her at risk by doing that, then you don't understand these fundamentalist communities.

He'd really like you to know he's selling cars now.

Get a new car! And a handy jay, if you're cute.

If only Nora Ephron was alive to adapt this story to the big screen!

Op The story is interesting and all, but what made you decide to make a thread about a 3 year old story today on Datalounge? Can we assume you are the daughter or another pissed off family member? Perhaps you are one of the underage boys, now all grown up?

Don't worry Thom will burn in hell for his sins!

I don’t care about any of these people. I don’t have any empathy, sympathy or pity for them.

He sought out underaged boys? I’m glad he was exposed.

Buck never would cyberstalk his father and confront him presenting hole.

Oh, I can believe that both her parents were desperate to keep living a life of lies, because neither of them could see a way to start a new and honest life. The mother would rather put up with a cheating husband than start over as single when she's too old to establish a career or find another man, and the father would much rather keep the respect of his peers, his career, and his place in the community than live an honest life. I'm quite sure they could have lived in denial for the rest of his life and been grateful that they could keep the lies going, if he hadn't fucked up by doing something illegal.

It's odd that the daughter became so obsessed with unmasking him, usually children who figure out that their parents are living a life of lies become obsessed with just getting the fuck away, not destroying the lies. Did they raise her in a particularly judgemental, punishment-centric form of Christianity?

To be clear the questions I asked at r10 and r12 have nothing to do with r57. Fuck that guy

She wanted to take it further So she arranged a place to go To see if he Would fall for her incognito And when he laid eyes on her He got the feeling they had met before Uncanny how she Reminds him of his little lady Capacity to give him all he needs Just like his wife before she freezed on him Just like his wife when she was beautiful He shouted out, I'm All yours Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka-ya-ya!

A lot of people cut the cord when discovering their parents are liars and hypocrites who break their hearts.

But the writer wanted to punish her father for betraying her, by trying to force her mother to leave him, by spying on him, entrapping him and finally revealing him to their church.

The father is rotten to the core but his daughter is unhealthily obsessive about things she can’t change.

Are you all morons? An undercover cop busted the POS father years after she did. She did it to save her mom not realizing her mom didn't want to be saved. Good for her to not believe the dad's lies and for her to move on and make sense out of her life. It's hard when you find out your dad is a sociopath and you need to find the truth out because all they do is lie to you. Go girl!!!

r12, she says we will never have the cool gay dad.

He is hooking up with minors and a hypocrite. She wanted to expose that.

She writes:

That’s why it was strange when he suddenly started paying attention to me. It was the mid-‘90s and the Internet was still something you had to access with dial-up and a shrink-wrapped CD from AOL. Any time I’d walk in while he was on the computer he’d immediately turn to face me.

“Hey there,” he’d say, “how was school?”

I could hear the telltale sound of the mouse clicking to minimize a screen.

Dad had a secret.

And:

Once he finished, I pretended I wanted to get on Instant Messenger. Instead, I downloaded a hacker program that secretly logged all encrypted keystrokes on our family computer. By the end of the week I’d gathered the passwords for everyone’s email accounts, including several with names like “Porndog” and “Horny69.”

She is as much of a fucking asshole as he is. She didn't know what she'd discover after breaching his privacy. One thing's for sure, if he had done the same thing to her, then she'd have pitched a bitch fit for the ages AND SO WOULD YOU! I NEVER condoned his behavior or his betrayal to his family - his hypocrisy. I just never excused HERS! If he was busted by the police later on, then so be it - that's THEIR job and not hers. She is just as guilty of betrayal for disrespecting his right to privacy. And that was my gripe from the beginning. All the other stuff I IS NONE OF MY CONCERN. She wasn't a fucking hero, she was a fucking asshole! And somewhere along the line, a fucking HYPOCRITICAL asshole at that, I'm sure. I'd have felt the same no matter the man's race, profession, or political affiliation. For me, this story was about RIGHT TO PRIVACY.

How did a middle school aged girl know how to put a tracer on his computer?

Nancy Drew would have outed the dad much sooner!

LOL R94

This whole thing reeks of the same breathless sensationalism as "Go Ask Alice", the infamous "true" "real diary" of a teenage drug addict, which everybody believed, and which was ultimately judged to be a work of fiction once the scandal and buzz finally faded.

Are the brothers cut or uncut?

Not because he's gay, r12, but because he is a pathological liar.

That’s what I hoped r104. The father is a rotten cunt (and so is the mother to be honest, I’m surprised she’s not getting more shit here).

[Quote]It's odd that the daughter became so obsessed with unmasking him, usually children who figure out that their parents are living a life of lies become obsessed with just getting the fuck away, not destroying the lies. Did they raise her in a particularly judgemental, punishment-centric form of Christianity?

One aspect is when you've been gaslit this hard your whole life, you get to the point where you can't believe your own eyes and ears. It's unhealthy to be obsessed so long, but I understand the desire to have him absolutely dead to rights, to have rock solid proof for yourself, not just the mother.

[quote]How did a middle school aged girl know how to put a tracer on his computer?

Yeah, as soon as I read that I knew this tale was embellished. I believe the father was outed by the police and the mother stayed etc but the rest of the tale...well...

[quote]This whole thing reeks of the same breathless sensationalism as "Go Ask Alice", the infamous "true" "real diary" of a teenage drug addict, which everybody believed, and which was ultimately judged to be a work of fiction once the scandal and buzz finally faded.

LOL! yes, exactly.

R81 Is smart to point up the underage aspect. The father is not only hippocrate, serial cheater, liar, and master manipulator, but an Ephebophile to boot. Though not listed as a separate mental disorder in the DSM-5, it is recognised as pathology. The father is a bloody pervert.

Are there photos of the brothers?

[quote]I love how she wrote his Christianity was evident when he had offered to give " BJs" without any reciprocation. Right. So giving he was.

Many women have really odd preconceptions about sucking dick.

Pictures of the brothers can be found at the link. Scroll down to the set of five pics of them walking her down the aisle. Her husband is the bottom right. If husky, balding AWG in Oklahoma is your thing, you will find all four brothers hot.

With 4 brothers, you know at least one of them is gay.

People like him have no right to privacy, R98. When you hold yourself up as someone who gets to judge other people for their personal life, as he was clearly doing, going so far as to lobby against gay people at the state level, then you open yourself to judgement in return. That's how it works, only you and this douchebag don't seem to realize that.

[quote] The father is not only hippocrate

He's a doctor?

I think it is safe to say that closet-case christian dad will end up as one of the murdered- by -rough -trade- in- hook-up -gone- wrong headlines.

R99, hacker software is easy to download and install. What makes this story plausible, to me, is that she focuses most, not on her father’s sex prowling, but on his mistreatment of her for most of her life. Her anger over this makes her obsession believable.

Again, the credulity!

[quote] hacker software is easy to download and install

From the author:

[quote] It was the mid-‘90s and the Internet was still something you had to access with dial-up and a shrink-wrapped CD from AOL.

No, dear 117, hacker software was not easy to find or download from AOL's platform on a dial-up connection in the mid-90s. Never mind this chick was born in 1986, and the way she describes her upbringing it's barely plausible her parents would even let her access AIM.

I kind of get it. "Closet case fundie gets outed and punished!" is a story that's easy to celebrate. It's also common enough that you shouldn't be clinging so defensively to the attention-getting scheme of such an obviously crazy straight woman.

From what I can see, it's quite possible that she'll be wearing Mom's shoes her damned self at some point. He pings. Karma. It's a bitch or a blessing, and the beauty of it lies in the fact that you decide for yourself.

It's fascinating that some here take any comment about the daughter's obsession as taking the father's "side."

The father is a sick, crazy, asshole, yes... that doesn't mean that she also wasn't inappropriately obsessed and has issues of her own.

People like R98 seem to think there's some sort of universal right to live a lie, to lie to your family, to be a massive fucking hypocrite, which seems a very strange attitude to take. If you lie to people you claim to love, sometimes they react by getting angry at you, and that's why you shouldn't lie to people you claim to love. Also, if a family member is engaged in illegal activity such as using or selling drugs, or screwing the underage, sane family members might well take steps to put a stop to the illegal behavior before it destroys the life of the responsible person, and impacts everyone in the family.

That said, this was not a rational response to lied to, this was an account of someone responding to a life of lies and hypocrisy with some very unbalanced behavior. Which happens, in fact I'm watching "Sylvia" on HBO right now, seeing Sylvia Plath get more unbalanced every time her husband lies to her, and again - that's why you shouldn't lie to people you love or think it's okay to rope someone else into a dishonest life. At least this woman found peace in the long run, unlike Sylvia Plath.

That wife sounds like one smart cookie!

Also, the one part of her story that seemed unrealistic to me was her mentioning that she would sneak on to his laptop, download whatever, and make sure to drain the battery down to the exact same level.

That detail seemed like one of those unnecessary details that someone making up a story adds in order to make their story sound more realistic, but in reality, makes it sound fake.

[quote]Per this Reddit page, dad appears to be a guy named Thom Hunter

Thom NASTY!

R121 and all the rest. I never said that it was okay to lie. What I have said in each of my postings is that it's definitely okay to mind your own fucking business. R121, YOU are not squeaky clean, as none of us are. Forget the fact that just a few decades ago, YOUR life could be ruined beyond repair just because some hag knew that you were gay and set about to destroy you specifically for that issue. Everything. Your family, friends, employment, safety and well being. Today even, you will cross paths with those who would like nothing more than kill you dead just for being gay, and you know it. Furthermore, they would have felt completely justified in doing the deed be it a religious catalyst or just a hate-filled, intolerant society. Again, I reiterate, that I NEVER once said that this man's behavior was acceptable. But looking on the other hand, it was wrong what his daughter to him. It would have been just as wrong if she had done it to YOU by my estimation.

You don't seem to get it. What's more is that you don't seem to WANT to get it. You need your Orwellian "two minutes of hate." There is absolutely nothing about life which boils down to a simple matter of black or white. We are all creatures of circumstance and conditions. Go ahead. Call ME the fucking asshole for seeing the bigger picture, and for considering much more of what the issue entails instead of jumping on the fucking band wagon to chase his ass down like Quasimodo. In the end, I shut you down by stating it plainly: The consideration I've shown this man is only the same consideration I'd have shown YOU.

S H R I E E E E E E E E E K!

How's the wife and kids, R125?

TYPO created by auto-predictive text R115. Stay on point.

Look at Thom's Facebook page, the guy's a Trumpanzee.

To hell with him.

[quote]TYPO created by auto-predictive tex

Really? I can't understand how auto-predictive text would correct or type out "hippocrate."

Have any of these (underage) guys come forward to talk about hooking up with dad?

R130 Do you have an ipad mini? I have three different similar words which pop (in three windows directly above my "keypad") up and change as I type. By clicking any one of the three, I can mistakenly change a word, or get half of it. Sometimes touch screens do odd things against their owner's will: it just attempted to change somtimes to something ( as a prime example.)

I'm aware of how auto predict and correct works... I wasn't aware that it would generate a word that doesn't exist.

For all her crazy behavior this gal is going to be better off in the long run than someone like Paris Jackson, who is trying very very hard to believe all the bullshit her evil pedo hypocrite father told her. That's probably one of the reasons she's so drugged-up, that makes it easier to believe all the lies the father told her, and to hang onto the illusion of having been loved by a parent.

Given a choice between toxic lies and hurtful truth, better to choose the truth.

"Why I Answered My Dad’s Gay Sex Ad"

You wanted to have sex with your Dad? (I didn't read the long, LONG essay)

Ahem.

R133 To further try to satisfy your curiousity, I can only believe it was predicting hippocrates. I tried it again to see what had triggered the apple brain to generate it as one of the three. There seems to be no rhyme or reason. I had mistakenly typed hi- rather than hy- hippos, hippocrate, and hippo pops up in the three grey windows. If you have an ipad, play around with it, and you shall see. You can open the three windows (if you've never seen them before) by swiping up gently from the lighter grey area above the keypad.