Construction worker dad on Reddit has tough time accepting gay son

Damn, excuse the BOLD.

"My wife and ME"

Just appalling.

Dad needs attention.

It's easier to accept a gay son than ever forgiving an unaccepting father.

As all aparents should, get over yourself.

Your son’s sexuality has nothing to do with you.

Exactly what life did he envision for him? Striking out with women and playing video games in his basement? That's the reality of life for most straight men. Until of course they get married and strike out with their wives and play video games in the "man cave". I think dad is jealous.

"And just thinking about what gay men do behind closed doors disturbs me" but "thinking about what my porno fantasy version of lesbians do behind closed doors is the hottest thing ever and excites me!"

i think the man is haunted with images of a man going up into his son.

[quote]"And just thinking about what gay men do behind closed doors disturbs me"

Why would straight men think about men together sexually—or think about men at all?

To be fair, Construction Dad did add in this comment after receiving feedback and justifiable criticism.

[quote] Edit: I just want to say that I am very overwhelmed by all of the comments. Most of you guys have given me great advice. I still love my son and I always will. I agree that it's most important that he's happy. It's just that it's hard to change something that you've been hardwired into believing, but I will try my best to change my views if it means I can have a relationship with my son. I will definitely talk to my son and tell him that I love him and that I accept him. Thank you all for the great advice, it's much appreciated.

Does he also imagine his daughter giving blowjobs and doing anal? Sicko.

He’s quite articulate for a construction worker.

Dad is 46, son is 21. Isn't 46 too young to be having these homophobic hangups?

Good point r11.

did anyone on Reddit give the dad a 0/10?

"I don't want people to look down on me..."

Oh the struggle of straight men with gay sons...how DO they cope with this torture?!?

No more talk. It's time to dose Dad.

r46, he is a blue collar guy.

46 years old construction worker. He must be a hot DILF.

How is his gay son accepting his attitude? This is why we dread coming out to our parents, no? We fear they will be disappointed and disgusted.

[quote] I’m actually having a hard time accepting that my son is gay. It’s not the kind of life I envisioned for him.

That is more common than people think. It's the same with mothers expecting to be grandmothers. Parents have certain expectations (taking over the family business, kids getting a great and successful career so the parents can brag about in their social circle, etc.). And usually these expectations are not met (even when the kid doesn't turn out gay) because kids tend to find their own path that deviates from the path their parents envisioned and that can cause all kinds of arguments and rifts beftween kids and their parents. But the same thing can happen when kids go along with their parents' plan and vision for them and, as adult, resent their parents for pushing them to do things that never felt right for the kids. And then all it takes is one small thing and all of a sudden parents find themselves in big heated argument with their kids who throw all the bottled up resentment in their parents' face.

The sooner parents let go of this obsession to control their offspring (with shame, guilt, religion, money, conditional love, etc.) the better.

Love unconditionally even if your son turns out to be gay or *gulp* Republican.

The only fellow GenXers I know who are homophobic like this are conservatives. If this is true -- and I admit that I am not convinced that it is -- the son would have had an inkling that his dad would react this way.

But the vague story and the stereotypes just really don't ring true with me. this sort of week, sitcom style story has been told since the 1980s, and I find it difficult to believe that anybody finding themselves in this situation would need to ask advice on Reddit. Surely they saw an episode of Blossom or Melrose Place or something decades ago that addressed this exact issue.

* This sort of weak

His dad can accept his son being homosexual but aren’t there any homosexuals that date women?

At least he’s trying to deal with it. If he didn’t give a shit about his son, he wouldn’t be seeking advice. Everyone has their own journey.

If you have straight children, I don't imagine (or hope) you give much thought to what they do behind closed doors. Same goes for your gay soon. And, give yourself time to accept this. If you love your son, it will become easier and easier to accept it. Good luck.

In a support group I met a couple of fathers who were at odds with their sons one way or the other (sons being gay, drug addicts, different point of political views, choosing a different career path, etc.).

The most common thing is that these fathers were scared about not having a strong enough connection with their sons (or kids in general), because the kids chose do their own thing (being gay, choosing a different career path, etc). So they couldn't be helpful (giving career advice or pull some strings) or "geek out" about job specific things, or simply relate to each other, etc.

The "what will the neighbors think?" shame vanished pretty fast, because mostly then it turns out that these neighbors have their own "what will the neighbors think?" skeleton half way out of their closet.

You can’t choose to be gay, R28.

"Miss, with all due respect, I have my own problems."

He needs to be the new Streisand cd where she’s trapped in a well.

I don't think Blossom and Melrose Place were aimed at masc straight men, R23.

He wouldn't have been a masc straight guy back then. He would have been watching whatever dippy shows we watched in junior high and high school. They all had gay storylines, and these shows have continue to have gay storylines for the decades that have followed, all of which are the same standard cookie-cutter trope: a working class man is thrown by finding out his son is gay, but at the end of the 22 and a half minutes plus commercials, has learned to love and accept him.

I think he needs to meet some of the hot hung friends of the son, just for .... context.

R32, you don't think straight men watched Melrose Place to see Heather Locklear's power suit skirts get shorter and shorter each episode and see Courtney Thorn-Smiths big tits? Excuse me, I have to go jerk off.

I think straight guys rather watched something like Baywatch.

Its an EST. The language is better than the character being portrayed. Only a low IQ person could be truly stumped by this dilemma and think the (lack of) logic behind some of the expressions in that monologue.

R37 Plus it's on Reddit, and everyone on Reddit lies for those oh-so-important internet points. The amount of sub-Reddits which have rules banning people from calling out bullshit stories is hilarious.

R9 you must of never had straight guy friends?

They're OBSESSED at what gay/bi guts do and gay sex in general, constantly joking about it, even if they're "disgusted " by it

And then they turn around and accuse gay/bi guys of "shoving their sexuality down my throat " even though THEY'RE the ones always joking and mentioning it

Gotta love them

His genetics made his son gay. How idiotic to not accept his son because of his own genetics. It’s like hating his son if he’s left handed

Straight men don’t think about men, R39. Enough.

He should watch ‘Love Simon’ on HBO immediately.

You figure it out- I'm going to Europe!

He should watch 'Breeding the Wrigleyville Cumdump' on DL immediately.

R41 of course they don't but they're obsessed about joking about gay sex and gay shit, even if it's just that... joking

Get a bunch of straight dudes together and the gay sex jokes start flying fast

They're very insecure and look down on gay/bi men

Miss at R45? Stop.

Sounds to me like they're more curious about gay sex than repulsed by it.

I know this is still an issue in 2018. But I am too old and too tired to care. People are people. Some are gay and some are not. The "stigma" of being gay is SO yesterday. No, it's SO 20th century. Hey uptight dad? Nobody gives a flying fuck that your precious son smokes pole. This is YOUR problem, no one else's. Sympathy for the fact that your brain is so tiny.

R46 juat yesterday at my part time job at the warehouse some young guy dropped something, bent to pick it up and the in front of him said, "yo I don't go for that gay buttsex stuff!" And they started laughing

[quote]But I am too old and too tired to care.

About the parents, not about the victims (the kids).

Ma’am at R49?

R50, yes. Thank you for clarifying that.

[quote]Dad is 46, son is 21. Isn't 46 too young to be having these homophobic hangups?

The dad said he grew up in a household where his parents taught him that homosexuality was wrong and he said that in his circles that gay jokes are made often. I know people in their 40s who grew up in similar backgrounds and are still homophobic.

I have a sister who is 41 and is homophobic. I don't speak much to her. There wasn't really homophobia in our household growing up. My parents are practicing Catholics, but they are quite liberal and were accepting of gay people way before I came out.

He's probably grown up hearing dear old Dad and his uncles laugh about faggots and how much they hate them his whole life. Which is why coming out to parents that you KNOW won't accept you that much more courageous. Just read a news article about a lesbian attending college who was disowned by her parents and told her she was no longer welcome in their house. Packed up the things that she had left at their house, including things from her childhood, and threw them in her car. Stopped carrying her on their car insurance plan too so it made driving impossible. She is on scholarship. A friend started a GoFundMe page for her to cover living expenses and so far she has gotten 5OK. But then the college found out and threatened to rescind the scholarship. What a fucked up thing to do to a daughter you profess to "love". When her situation made the news the fuckers backtracked and said they never did any of it.

The idea that straight guys watch Melrose Place is hilarious. They also don’t think about what gay men do. The ones that do are curious and are thinking about jumping the fence.

R51 I'm a guy you stupid fuck and ANYTIME there's a group of guys whether it be a football team, military, work etc they ALJWAYS "joke" about gay sex, you know "butt buddies " and all or farting, it's the two CONSTANTS with men

[quote]And just thinking about what gay men do behind closed doors is very disturbing to me.

I wonder how many times a day he has these daydreams.

46 years old is still old enough to remember when the word Fag was being thrown around in John Hughes' teen movies, r13. I'm not surprised that there are at least a couple of straight, under-educated men who hold onto those prejudices.

R11 why the criticism? The guy is being honest. This type of thinking is at the root of much of the current trans child phenomenon especially involving trans girls.

People here make immature, gross out comments about women's body parts all the time and they're surprised that straight men would do the same about men?

[quote]The dad said he grew up in a household where his parents taught him

He’s still a child. Adulthood means taking responsibility as the owner and operator of your own brain. “Mommy says...” isn’t really a thing mentally developed adults fall back on.

[quote]My parents always told me growing up that homosexuality is wrong

What was happening in his childhood home that this his parents were “always” telling him this?

Modern day straight guys are much more open minded and so much more relaxed around their openly gay friends than previous generations. That's because they saw how stupid and hypocrital the Christian Church is with covering up their priests' pedo crimes. And more likely to reject their parents' attempt of brainwashing them into Christian bigots who think that being gay is wrong and a sin.

Of course older generations struggle with the idea of accepting gay people when they've been raised to reject and even fear gay people (and what they can do to the morality of this great country).

I think Dad is just jealous that Junior gets to have all the buttsex he is always fantasizing about.

No. You are wrong. Homophobia is alive and thriving. I agree that some guys don't really fear or hate gays but they will still make jokes about them.

[quote]He should watch ‘Love Simon’ on HBO immediately.

I believe this violates the Geneva Convention on torture.

The poster upthread who said now dad has to deal with his fear if not being able to relate to his kid has it, in my experience.

Yeah, dad was told gay was bad growing up. But now he knows that he can no longer joke about "f*gs" or butt fucking with his buddies.

He is also afraid his son won't be able to share any of the "normal" male bonding bullshit like talking about women and sex and degrading women sexually because his kid isn't in to it.

His kid doesn't share his values (to him) and therefore they have nothing to talk about. The kid might as well have come from Mars. Dad feels he has nothing in common with the kid because now they have nothing in common to discuss.

R63 the NASTIEST anti gay shit I've heard, numerous times, has come from Muslim minorities

It's a common belief among Muslim blacks that "white faggots " made gay black men because "it doesn't exist among black men", a lot of them feel that way .The homophobia and hatred from them is astonishing

He's just worried that his son is a bottom.

The father is an idiot.

You'd best believe straight fathers think about what their daughter does behind closed doors - or rather, what's being done to her. It's why they hate the teenage daughter's first real boyfriend. And if he happens to be older, or God forbid black, they'll look for an excuse to get violent. This is old news.

When I think of my daughter, who is married and has a toddler, the only vision I have of her is a portrait view, like seeing her on Skype. It's strange when the dad thinks about when men do behind closed doors. We all can control our thoughts, can't we?

Expect a post to /r/gayincest within the cumming days.

R23, Pardon me but you need to get out more if that's what you really believe.

Most parents of all political persuasions still believe they are raising mini-mes. I would ask most of those reading this post if they could be as open if their children or nieces or nephews followed lifestyles or had beliefs radically different from their own. Sorry but I've read some very racist & prejudicial posts on DL.

The "GenX" comments from DL posters of a similar age are odd. Really, don't kid yourself: people can be homophobic at ANY age.

Well to be fair, Cher had hard time accepting Chastity when she came out as a lesbian.

[quote]Sounds to me like they're more curious about gay sex than repulsed by it.

Well, that’s because you’re an idiot.

I think what’s hardest for most parents is “what will people think of me” syndrome. Especially if those same parents have expressed homophobia in the past. That was certainly the biggest struggle for my mother. Conversely, my father was super comfortable telling his whole family that I was gay.