When a Frau Suspects Her Son is a Gayling

When the cucumbers go missing.

Currently? Well, he just adores the music of Shawn Mendes.

Blood in his b.m.

He smiles when volunteering to bake and smell cookies in mom's stainless-look Jenn-Air double oven.

Jazz hands

When I asked my mother if she knew I was gay, she said, "Well....you DID rearrange your bedroom a lot."

When his walk to the breakfast table includes a runway twirl

When he looks prettier in yoga pants than she does.

he has a collection of fashionable jockstraps

When her husband spends more time in the son's bed than his.

A subscription to Architectural Digest when he's 12 years old.

When he blushes every time he sees a pepperoni stick.

When her five-year-old is already telling her what's wrong with her hair, makeup, and wardrobe, and he's absolutely right.

When her son knows all the names of runway models and she doesn't

When she sees Mediapolis $1.50 on her credit card statement.

When his mother is the most critically acclaimed singer in the world, but he locks himself in his room to listen to Donna Summer albums instead ... until his mom wisens up and records something with La Summer

When he swaps toys with the neighborhood lesbian.

When he asks her to hook him up with Adam Rippon.

When her son steals her copy of A Happening in Central Park

When he makes you breakfast crepes for Mothers Day and he’s wearing an apron that says “Mr. Good Looking Is Cooking.”

He gives his mommy advice on dressing to slim her hips....

As if! My 5 year old wouldn’t dare.

When he makes you an apron for Mother's Day that says "My Son Took Home Ec and All He Made Me Was This FABULOUS Apron!"

He sits in the "Pajama Party pose" while filing his nails and gossiping

When he has an entire video cassette collection of every Style with Elsa Klensch ever aired.

Dials his iPhone with a pencil

OP, why can't you say woman or mother? Why is every female a Frau?

R27 Maybe OP didn't write woman or mother because he meant Frau, which he may not consider synonymous with either "woman" or "mother"?

The 51st load.

He's saving himself for marriage without any trouble at all even with that little minx of a girlfriend.

He loves the Elaine Stritch documentary. And knows when she gets Sondheim lyrics wrong.

Hrs very good with colours.

Watches HGTV religiously

He's very good with shading (and pointless bitchery).

He's RAVING about "Maria by Callas."

He rearranges her shoe closet according to style, season, colour, and heel height.

He insists on having a lavender spray near his bed for nights when he has trouble falling asleep.

He demands the BRITISH cast recording of Les Mis and raises hell if it’s the original Broadway cast.

He calls breastfeeding Brunch.

Asks for a Golden Girls Chia Pet for Christmas

He has never left Missouri, but has a girlfriend in Canada.

When he uses his allowance to buy a subscription to Tiger beat.

When your son asks Santa to deliver 3 different Barbie dolls for Christmas, he might be gay.

When your son switches from Ken to G.I. Joe because G.I. Joe has ball-jointed limbs, he really really might be gay.

LOL, R41.

When he asks for a sewing machine for Christmas

When THIS is his audition song for the New Kindergarten Faces annual talent show.

“New Kindergarten Faces” annual talent show? Sounds like the whole school is gay as well.

For r43

I love that video in r46.

R39 - my mom figured I was gay when I asked her to buy me Tigerbeat when I was in Grade 6 and 7. I also told her I wanted to marry Donny Osmond. My dad discovered when I was 14. I went and saw Jackson Browne on my dad’s 45 birthday. I was so excited and blurted out “Jackson is so cute.” Garden State Arts Center, Holmdel, NJ, September 6, 1977. You Love the Thunder was recorded that night.

When he won’t stop putting things in his butt.

When he says he's a fag and you don't hear it????

He likes anything she doesn't.

He just cannot stop talking about one of the boys in his class.

When he says he wants to dress up as Snagglepuss for Halloween

bump

When he uses his birthday money for a facial.

The International Male catalog starts coming in the mail, but you just assume you got put on some junk mailing list.

[quote]When she sees Mediapolis $1.50 on her credit card statement.

Watch it fucker at r15.

Buck-seventy-five is ONE CLICK AWAY!

When he reads Playboy for the articles.

He can make a perfect Manhattan or martini before he's in junior high.

He has a favorite musical and differentiates between stage and movie musicals, and with movie musicals between live-action and animated.

He has a favorite diva and will throw shade on any of her rivals.

Prefers to go by his full first name and never the shorter nickname, e.g. Richard, not Rich, Rick or Ricky.

Has a large collection of Playbills from every show he's seen.

R48 - I was at that concert! Bonnie Raitt opened for him.

When she goes to him for approval before leaving for a night out -- "Are these earrings okay?" "What do you think about these shoes?" -- and he is able to provide good advice.

There are many benefits to having a gay son or brother.

When he becomes a YouTube sensation at 10 dancing to her Britney Spears cds

When he performs in his bedroom "Don't Rain on My Parade"

When he asks her to DVR shows on Bravo

...when THIS appears at the top of Junior's list to Santa.

when he marries arlene francis.

When his first word is "HAT".

Frequent sleepovers at his favorite uncle's house.

When he knows all the songs from Avenue Q by heart.

70s.

When she finds your stash.

sorry HIS stash.

When you're both listening to his favorites list on Spotify while puttering around .... and Mom does not recognize Barbara Cook.

And asks instead if it's Barbara Harris. Or "one of those other ladies."

And your 11-year-old son realizes that the student has, sure enough, outlearned his masters, oh Grasshopper...

It is a lonely but essential life, the Gaydom.

R13 et al, I so wish you were my brothers.

[quote]When her five-year-old is already telling her what's wrong with her hair, makeup, and wardrobe

Funny, I remember thinking it, but not saying it.

"Mother, think jewel colors, lighter and brighter. Those drab earth tones just wash you out."

Lying about his age and having drinks with Kevin Spacey

When he asks for a Seance game for his birthday because it’s close to being a dollhouse without actually being a dollhouse.

When she sees him gazing at cucumbers while biting his knuckle.

bump

R62, I was that boy!

I was making my mother cocktail dresses before high school- taught myself from library books on tailoring- no youtube in the 80s. She was so proud, and I have a career because of her encouragement.

When his favorite subject is Armie Hammer and he refers to Elizabeth Chambers as "that bitch."

R78, I was a huge fan of my Fisher Price castle for this reason. I had secret fantasies involving the prince and the woodsman.

So ARE you boys men who just happen to like men and are otherwise NO DIFFERENT from normal straight men, as the PC line goes these days, or are you actually women trapped in a man's body who grew from girls trapped in a boy's body? This thread would suggest the latter.

i wanted every goddamned barbie doll they made.

When he asks R84 if he can get her a Valium.

He knows you're on Datalounge

When he prefers to do his homework on the bench outside the men's room at the trucker rest stop.

When he dances in the backyard in his underwear during Pride month.

He knows who Joan Crawford was and can name her children and at least 5 films she was in.

He believes Anderson Cooper to be an extraordinary news journalist.

r88 I bet you worked some truck stops in your time.

When different men are always dropping him off at home from school

Haha, I was raised in a rural area in the middle of nowhere. It was 30 miles to the interstate and there was a truck stop there, and the closest we had to fast food. I was sitting eating one time in the common dining area when a guy sat down across from me. I was in my teens and he was in his 30s, bearded, and with a trucker cap. That was my first time, but not my last with a hot trucker at the truck stop. Fond memories.

He only gets "A's" on his report card from classes taught by male teachers.

If you say something that annoys or embarrasses him, and he responds "Mother, really!"

When he dresses better at 10 than his dad ever will.

When he'll only eat dark meat.

He successfully bakes a souffle in his Easy-Bake Oven.

He's the only kid in the first grade who seems to give a damn that Eva Gabor made a [italic]Green Acres[/italic] reunion and a [italic]Rescuers[/italic] sequel in the same year.

When your son says to you, as you enter his room, "Pray, mother, do sit down."

He's distraught and wearing black because Karl Lagerfeld AND Lee Radziwill died in the same week.

When his first words are "glory hole"

Is a Frau a regular woman? I ask because if a Frau is different type of woman these answers sound like generic answers for any mother. I'd wager she'd suspect because her gay-ling son broke ALL of her mugs. No mug cakes, no cradling mugs. GONE! ALL GONE I TELLS YA'!

When he comes home from school he looks around and says "What a dump."

When his first report card says "screams bottom"