Pushy trick demanded that I introduce him to my children
I am in a in open marriage with my husbear. I'm 53, but everyone says I look 35. I was cruising for dick at my local PTA meeting when a hot closeted guy in his 30s approaches me and taps my yoga sculpted bubblebutt under my cutoff shorts. My mancunt churned at the thought of the str8 dick I would soon receive and the fertile masc jism that would knock met up with this beautiful man's assbaby. We went to his car, where I eat his swamp hole and jacked his unwashed, cheesy cock. Then we went home. I made turkey meatball casserole and Apple crumble while he out on some str8 porn. I put my adopted sons to bed and returned to service my supperipr str8 top. My tiny cocklet was so puny and faggoty compared to his enormous fuckrod. He looked a bit like Heath Ledger. Anyway, he ducked my ass, dropped his load, then pissed in my gape. He queerbashed ame and called me degrading names and made me say humiliaring things. I told him to pipe down or he'd wake the boys.
He said, "Hey, bro, I've always wanted to meet Colton and Packer. My boy Hunter says they're good kids."
I replied, "this is just a hookup, bro, you can't meet my kids. My husbear will kill me."
He became angry and argumentative and I had to ask him to leave. When my husbear came home, we put on some Dick Wadd and started beating it together and I told him what had happened. He said, "Tricks don't get to meet kids and that's final."
I'm conflicted. He seemed like a nice guy and I wanted better relations with the rest of the PTA.
| by Anonymous | reply 50 | September 7, 2020 10:53 AM
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Update, the PTA is full of hot str8 married menu and they're all eyeing me now.
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | November 4, 2018 9:03 PM
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Was he a millennial? Millenials are pushy.
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | November 4, 2018 9:08 PM
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R4 he might have been an early millennial
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | November 4, 2018 9:11 PM
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An accurate depiction of the gay "lifestyle."
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | November 4, 2018 9:12 PM
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I’ve neen on DL since 2005. This is the worst EST I’ve ever read, insulting to the reader’s intelligence and patience and even sense of humor, and puerile all the same. Worse even then the couple with the guardian sooner the nephew with Down Syndrome who nevertheless wanted to convert the gym where the nephew would sometimes crash to a trick room/dungeon. Worse even than the alcoholic/Asperger’s Philly-Boston ginger co-dependent couple. Try harder next time, OP.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | November 4, 2018 9:14 PM
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Many typos, too appalled.
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | November 4, 2018 9:14 PM
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You left out the "shit brickhouse" part this time, OP.
[quote]Worse even then the couple with the guardian sooner the nephew with Down Syndrome who nevertheless wanted to convert the gym where the nephew would sometimes crash to a trick room/dungeon
I'm intrigued. Is that thread post-2008 and thus searchable?
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | November 4, 2018 9:15 PM
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OP is not nearly as clever as he thinks he is. What a shitty read.
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | November 4, 2018 9:17 PM
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Liar. No one wants to fuck you, OP
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | November 4, 2018 9:32 PM
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[QUOTE]"Hey, bro, I've always wanted to meet Colton and Packer. My boy Hunter says they're good kids."
Ha, that made me laugh. I wonder how many of the other posters haven't seen the other thread and so don't get the joke.
Link for those who haven't.
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | November 4, 2018 9:35 PM
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Ewww, OP watches Dick Wadd videos. Sad!
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | November 4, 2018 9:38 PM
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Condolences, OP. It’s been a challenging few days for you and your Husbear.
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | November 4, 2018 9:39 PM
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HAHAHAHA - thanks, R13. I did miss that thread, which does indeed contain "shit brickhouse".
Loved how the OP defined the meaning of the word 'husbear': [bold]as in a bear to whom a bottom is married[/bold]
| by Anonymous | reply 19 | November 4, 2018 9:43 PM
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"I made turkey meatball casserole and Apple crumble."
My favorite part of the whole thing. And the queer bashing and degrading names gives me an especially warm and tingly feeling.
Great job, OP.
| by Anonymous | reply 20 | November 4, 2018 9:51 PM
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Y’all bitches can hiss all you want, I laughed out loud.
| by Anonymous | reply 21 | November 4, 2018 9:58 PM
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I'm intrigued at your naming of Colton and Packer, OP.
| by Anonymous | reply 22 | November 4, 2018 10:01 PM
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Please stick to other married men.
| by Anonymous | reply 23 | November 4, 2018 11:28 PM
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These stories are great! “Kids don’t get to meet tricks. That’s final!” That was incredible! Thank you so much and please keep writing.
| by Anonymous | reply 24 | March 12, 2019 2:02 AM
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Cheers OP, first laugh of the hour. Very funny and silly
| by Anonymous | reply 25 | March 12, 2019 2:16 AM
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OP, you need to get some dick in that pussy which is actually a vagina and not your ass because of your female status.
| by Anonymous | reply 26 | March 12, 2019 2:20 AM
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Well it's not BILL TAYLOR but I guess these will do.
| by Anonymous | reply 27 | March 12, 2019 2:20 AM
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It should be COLT-EN or COLT-AN or COLT-IN!!!!
| by Anonymous | reply 28 | March 12, 2019 2:22 AM
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It tries WAY too hard to be funny.
| by Anonymous | reply 29 | March 12, 2019 2:27 AM
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Stopped reading at "husbear." Hope you and your family die in a grease fire.
| by Anonymous | reply 31 | March 12, 2019 2:30 AM
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#24 bumped his thread from November because he'd worked so hard on it, and because he didn't think it got the attention it deserved back then.
| by Anonymous | reply 32 | March 12, 2019 2:30 AM
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Is this trolling? It's filled with so many DL cliches, like looking almost 20 years younger than your actual age.
| by Anonymous | reply 33 | March 12, 2019 2:42 AM
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It definitely taps into the DL cliché of the worship and obsession with "masc str8" men, and it's hilarious.
| by Anonymous | reply 34 | March 12, 2019 2:45 AM
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No not funny. I agree it's trying way too hard.
| by Anonymous | reply 35 | March 12, 2019 2:53 AM
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well it made me smile, so I'm good with it
| by Anonymous | reply 36 | March 12, 2019 3:04 AM
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Thinly veiled gay-bash from the homophobic OP.
Some of the most homophobic gay haters are queers themselves.
| by Anonymous | reply 37 | March 12, 2019 4:16 AM
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R37 Well queer means straight so no surprise some straights are homophobic
| by Anonymous | reply 38 | March 12, 2019 5:03 AM
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R33, you shouldn't have to ask if it's trolling. Isn't it obvious?
| by Anonymous | reply 39 | March 12, 2019 5:07 AM
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[quote]My mancunt churned at the thought of the str8 dick I would soon receive and the fertile masc jism that would knock met up with this beautiful man's assbaby.
You had me at assbaby, baby.
| by Anonymous | reply 40 | March 12, 2019 5:24 AM
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Funny as hell. Is OP the author of my fave Goofy Raped Me?
| by Anonymous | reply 41 | March 12, 2019 5:37 AM
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I hate this OP. FF him to hell,
| by Anonymous | reply 42 | March 12, 2019 6:10 AM
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I prefer the earlier Montana years of OPs adolescence. These installments of married life are boring, similar to the later Anne of Green Gables books.
| by Anonymous | reply 44 | March 12, 2019 8:17 AM
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The stories about the abusive childhood in Montana were getting a bit repetitive. I'm liking this branching out to current scenarios.
"Colton and Packer" - that shit is hilarious.
| by Anonymous | reply 45 | March 12, 2019 8:35 AM
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You lost me at Apple Crumble. How gauche.
| by Anonymous | reply 47 | September 7, 2020 3:18 AM
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Please, it was fabulous! "Churning mancunt"!
| by Anonymous | reply 48 | September 7, 2020 3:18 AM
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[quote] I made turkey meatball casserole and Apple crumble while he out on some str8 porn.
Are you running a bed and breakfast, OP?
| by Anonymous | reply 49 | September 7, 2020 10:28 AM
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I liked the yoga sculpted bubble butt. 😂
| by Anonymous | reply 50 | September 7, 2020 10:53 AM
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