Princess Eugenie's Wedding: Official Thread

Does her fiancee look a little . . . gay?

Nah..... he’s just British!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

It’ll be Friday night here - I’m already planning the wine menu.

I might tune in to see if the Chapel Royal ( the choir of St. Georges Windsor attached to the royal household) might be singing some of their liturgical party pieces.

I don't feel any vibe of Royalness from those two princesses.

Great, I'll be watching. I love Sarah, Duchess of York.

I won’t watch - but eagerly look forward to pictures of Prince George and Princess Charlotte.

Can't wait to see MM's wedding get-up, and of course Fergie's.

I'm surprised this wedding is getting so much fanfare. Now, when Beatrice gets married, they'll have to have an equally big (or bigger) celebration, since she outranks Eugenie.

Other. We'll be looking for VPL on the groom to see if he's upper class cut or chav uncut.

So, is it also being broadcast in the UK? Or, just the US?

More than one thread on DL has suggested that Eugenie and the Yorks are basically ignored in the UK. Americans are more into all the various branches of the House of Windsor than the Brits.

I canceled cable two years ago.

Wonder if it will live stream on the TLC website?

It might get a bit of coverage on the news here , R12 but the whole event isn’t being televised.

The Telegraph will have live streaming of the wedding on the day.

Royal fans can follow the coverage live at Telegraph.co.uk. Bookmark this page and come back on Friday, October 12, to follow the action.

I will watch it if it's on Hallmark and there will be fairy lights and a autumnal colors.

R15, Thank you for that info. Will the commentators be as hysterically LOL as the very proper BBC gentleman commenting on MM's church service?

Apparently ITV is airing it in full in the UK.

If Eugenie wants to upstage her cousins' wives, she's going to have to do something outrageous. Pull an Avril Lavigne and wear a black wedding dress. Otherwise, the media will only focus on flavour-of-the-month Meghan or Kate and her cute kids.

R18 True, but sadly she won't. She doesn't seem to have much flair in her.

Shan't be watching live but I'll be following this thread closely for the snark. I wonder if Beatrice will get emotional and we'll see her buggy, over-kohled eyes well up. Looking forward to what Smegs trots out in.

Has Sarah lost a ton of weight?

The current makeup trend for heavy brows and nude lips is a disaster on Fergie.

She looks like she got her jawline/neck done. Not bad. Ageing is a BEAST for natural redheads.

[quote]Now, when Beatrice gets married, they'll have to have an equally big (or bigger) celebration

In fairness, miracles don’t happen every day.

SYH - the younger one is getting married FIRST?

I want to see Beatrice's wistful and miserable facial expressions.

[quote] Ageing is a BEAST for natural redheads.

Go fuck yourself.

I will record it so I can ff the boring stuff. Also I’m not getting up at 6 in the morning for it.

Is she showing?

R28, Will it really start at 6:00 am? What celebs will be in the pre-parade?

R30 You do understand the concept of “time zones”, don’t you?

So who will have to curtsy to whom?

I won’t watch but I have to say that Bea and Euge are my favorite characters on The Windsors.

Bea and Euge with auntie Anne

Sarah is a yo-yo dieter. I knew she’d go on a crash diet for the wedding. By the New Year she’ll have gained it back. I don’t like how she’s doing her makeup now, no flattering.

That is funny R34. Thanks for the link. It's on Netflix, right? How many seasons on there? According to someone posting on your YouTube link, Prince William finds the show hilarious.

I literally fought a war to get away from these fucking European royals. Fuck them and no I won't be watching.

Sorry that should be "We" not I.

I'm sure that someone(s) will throw it up onto YouTube that very day, so why not wait until then so you can skip around in the video instead of watching the whole thing. I mean you could be practicing your pole dancing routine during that time.....

[quote] I literally fought a war to get away from these fucking European royals

Britain is NOT part of Europe, you cunt.

R38 Maybe you and the other War of Independence vets could meet up for beers instead of watching the wedding.

Great Britain, while not attached to the rest of the continent, is still part of Europe just as Alaska and Hawaii are part of the US. NO! STOP IT! THAT'S IT! THERE IS NO "BUT......" GB = Europe

I might watch the rebroadcast in the evening but no way am I getting up at 4 something in the morning to watch a minor royal get married. Yes ninth in line is a minor royal.

Does Sarah Ferguson make such an ass of herself waving at the Queen to mock the Queen or is it a misguided attempt to curry favor?

When ever I see her waving at the Queen it is so much more exaggerated than everyone around her.

[quote]I want to see Beatrice's wistful and miserable facial expressions.

Preview.

[quote]Will it really start at 6:00 am? What celebs will be in the pre-parade?

Here's a short tutorial, r30.

[quote]I might watch the rebroadcast in the evening but no way am I getting up at 4 something in the morning to watch a minor royal get married. Yes ninth in line is a minor royal.

You're missing out.

If that is what I miss out on R47 I am completely fine with that.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Sloppy drunk pussy, r43?

[QUOTE] Does Sarah Ferguson make such an ass of herself waving at the Queen to mock the Queen or is it a misguided attempt to curry favor?

The Queen and Sarah have always enjoyed a warm relationship. Sarah’s been to tea with HM several times since the divorce, she’s sat in her box at races, and has been a guest at Sandringham and Balmoral. It’s Prince Philip, and The Queen’s courtiers, which keep Sarah at a distance in public. And Charles has a substantial influence on things now, so he’s going to make sure anything connected with his rival brother Andrew is pushed to the side.

I enjoy watching Fergie at these events for the train wreck that she is, but think that some of you need to realise that the key issue with her is that she was busted trying to sell access to her ex husband (at the time, UK Special Representative for Trade and Investment) for £500,000. Illegal, immoral and appalling behaviour.

The royal family, the courtiers and the UK aren’t just being mean because she’s a trashy old badly behaved drunk.

She’s a crook.

Where did you get this inside info from, r52?

R52 here, R53 - I didn’t claim that this was inside info. Why would I? It’s in the public domain.

At least they will know how to dress for a wedding.

Maybe Bea can wear this.

R46, Thank you for posting that very complete time-zone map.

Yes of course I realize England would be on a different time zone than EST, MST, or PST. I was just wondering what time the pre-parade and pre-wedding coverage would start, realizing I'd have to adjust for my own particular time zone.

“Pre-parade”, R57? It’s a royal wedding not Thanksgiving day!

No-one throws shade better than the Daily Mail

[quote]TLC's next big thing: The popular network, which is famous for shows like My 600lb Life and Dr. Pimple Popper, isn't the most obvious choice for a royal wedding broadcast

R58, What would you call the TV commentary reviewing the outfits of the celebs and major and minor royalty walking up the church steps before the ceremony? I thought pre-parade would be appropriate for DL.

Foreplay.

The Telegraph, well and truly taking the piss. Unfortunately, you have to subscribe to read the whole piss-taking.

‘Ratings flop? I don’t think so!’: Fergie’s wedding-planning diary*

*As imagined by George Jeffrie and Bert Tyler-Moore, writers of The Windsors

What a journey it’s been! This time next Friday I’ll be standing at the front of St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle, almost debt free. My rock, Prince Andrew, on one side, my eldest, Beatrice, on the other, as we watch Eugenie walk down the aisle to Purcell. I wanted The Circle of Life from The Lion King but Eugenie has always been head strong!

And then I’ll steal a glance behind me, at all those Royal faces, faces that once scorned and mocked me, but faces that now wear a new expression of respect, and yes, deference. And I’ll know, finally, I’m back!

But of course the wedding isn’t about me. It’s about Eugenie, that...

So what's the true story of how these 2 lovebirds really met?

R36 The Windsors are on Netflix with a couple of seasons available.

The makers of The Windsors should make an equivalent programme about the Trump White House.

[quote]So what's the true story of how these 2 lovebirds really met?

Meghan Markle

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Some details here...music, cake, etc.

She’s got a very square jaw.

R68, Thanks for your post, Andrea Bocelli will be singing 2 pieces.

Her music sounds a lot better than Meghan's. Also, she announced she will be using a British designer for her wedding dress. Smackdown?

She would have been crucified had she not gone with a British designer. We think MM has a tough body to dress, it's going to take quite a bit of talent to get it right for Yuge.

I bet we see a smile on The Queen’s face, unlike at Harry’s wedding. She’s supposed to be close to Bea and Yuge.

Eugene and Abbi Jacobson share the square jaw.

She's actually a pretty young woman, and very well-spoken. I've made fun of her fashion sense in the past, but I feel a bit guilty about that, since they seem rather earnest. Eugenie had surgery for scoliosis when she was younger, and still has two titanium rods in her back to keep her standing upright, so I don't think she can exercise down to a smaller weight very easily (unlike her sister, who actually managed to complete a marathon). I don't want to blame the York sisters for the transgressions of their parents.

Thank you for that charming and informative video, R49. love the narrator's Scottish accent.

As to Fergie being a crook, do you think she could have done that without Andrew's complicity? Considering Andy's close association with convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, I would say he is a far bigger crook than Fergie could ever be. You can look forward to Charles kicking the Yorks to the curb when he takes over.

So why hasn't DL been discussing the groom?

Because he's unattractive, bordering on ugly despite his family's wealth? I suspect folks think he's the type Yuge deserves., so no one goes out of their way to gossip about him.

I think the groom's cute.

[quote]We think MM has a tough body to dress, it's going to take quite a bit of talent to get it right for Yuge.

And white makes looks her that much Yuuuuger.

I think it's a foregone conclusion that Euge's attire will be unfortunate if not a disaster. There is almost no chance she will hit it out of the park. Can't help feeling sorry for her.

Andy and Fergie couldn't give a stuff if Jack looked like Quasimodo. He's wealthy and will keep Eugenie (and not so indirectly, Fergie) in the style that her rank warrants.

That British Vogue photo of the two sisters last month proved they can be downright lovely with the right styling, Eugenie especially. I hope she hires that team for her wedding.

Does this include their dogs randomly peeing on their borrowed clothes, R84? Everything from the shoot was ruined by their untrained terriers. How lazy can one be either not to housebreak a dog or instruct the servants to do it?

Of course, Vogue had to lap up the expense of urinated articles of clothing.

The dress will need industrial strength hooks to hold up that fort.

She really should get a breast reduction. If she already has back issues, her massive cans are only going to make the situation worse as she gets older, titanium rods or no. They throw her body out of proportion too which is why Yuge looks huge when she really isn't that bad.

She's practicing her elegant walk up the church steps.

I want Our Sparkle to cut her wedding dress to knee length, and wear that to the ceremony.

Stir things up...

R85 Vogue probably sent them to Dorinda's boyfriend's dry cleaning establishment Madame Paulette, their specialty is fancy frocks. With that, Yuge would be within six degrees of the Real Housewives of New York. Fergie should move to New York and become a Housewife. I'm sure Miss Cohen would snap her up in a heartbeat. Fergie certainly could use the money, and she ticks all the boxes for an entertaining train wreck. I'd watch the hell out of that show if she joined the cast.

I want MM to wear tuxedo shorts with a sheer silk top that shows her lace bra, paired with mile high stilettos. Go whore or go home.

After binge watching The Windsors on Netflix I wouldn't miss this for all the money in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you post any links to the Windsors, r92?

Only mug-cradling frauen are interested in this sort of thing.

^You have to watch on Netflix, R93. There are two seasons, plus a few hour long specials. Really, really funny shit! If you don't have Netflix already, then go ahead and sign up. It's customary that you get your first month free. Just remember to cancel within the time frame. Go binge on the Windsors.

I swear you'll love it if you've ever followed the Royal family. The second Season really does justice tothe Princess Royal, Anne Elizabeth Alice Louise. Actually I love all the characterizations especially Beatrice and Eugenie's... and Edward, Harry, Wills, Charles Kate, etc. Camilla. All of them. You must watch! You must!!!

I really wish they'd do a 3rd season. There is so so much more they could do.

I found this.

MY favorite character from The Windsors is Fergie. Haha. She's a barrel of laughs I tell you! Btw, I just tried to get another free month to watch again. DENIED! Bumming. Maybe I'll give 'em the money....

And yet you’ve navigated to this thread, read 93 replies and then posted yours, R94.

I love the guy who plays Charles. Shit. The whole thing is very well cast, and the back story for Kate & Pippa, Gypsies??? Really??? I love it.

Exactly r99 and by the way r94, the frauen will be watching for earnest reasons. We will be watching for bitchy reasons.

Why was Fergie invited to Harry's wedding but not William's?

R102 William's wedding was a State occasion, so perhaps that was one reason. I also get the feeling William is not as close to Fergie and her kids as Harry seems to be.

Sometimes the pants worn with a morning coat (suit? whatever) are great hunting ground for bulge watching and even VPL!

R102, I mentioned that back at the time of the wedding, but it seems that Harry insisted that Sarah be invited, knowing full well that his father and grandfather would not approve. I thought it was a great register of character for Harry. It was a kindness to his cousins, to whom he's close. I'm rather fond of Harry (from a great distance) because he's very human, with many foibles, but seems like an actually kind man. His interactions with children (I'm not good with children) are pretty adorable.

The groom is cute. Who's he? How'd they meet? These two sisters are so uninteresting I'm morbidly fascinated.

R106 He’s from the upper classes with close family links to the aristocracy. His family has ties as courtiers to the royal family going back at least four generations (back to King George V and Queen Mary).

They mix in the same social circles, which is how many couples get together.

Nothing especially fascinating to be seen here.

I read threads like this to smirk at the mug-cradling frauen like R99 and R101.

It takes so little to trigger you. Bless your heart.

Whatever it takes to make you feel validated, R108.

R107, Thank you for your answer. So has QE II invited him over for tea?

TLC will be airing the wedding from 4:30am to 7:30am. (Eastern time) Then they will show it again starting at 7:30. (I just set my dvr.)

R111, Thank you for that info. For those of us that haven't paid for TLC, any other alternatives to watch it online? Would be worth it just for the musical performances, as I predicted. Love Andrea Bocelli.

R112 see R15s post re: streaming

Will the Windors ever allow a same-sex wedding?

When Wills becomes king, I believe he would. Hell, he's half way there himself.

R115, Please elaborate. What do you mean when you say, "he's half way there himself?"

Lots of rumors keep swirling about Wills marriage.

Princess George is really cute when he's not doing his surly tantrum routine (wonder who he inherited that from? *cough*). When are we going to see a new photo of Louis? What's the holdup?

**cough Charles cough** is who you meant to say, right r117?

I was thinking Wills, but he inherited that trait from Charles so... both I guess?

Charles is the hot-headed spoiled rotten one in the Windsor bunch, r119.

R120 I think there is room for others in that bunch, but wherever it came from, George has it in him.

Harry has spent a lot of time at the Yorks' chalet in Verbier, staying up late drinking with Fergie. It would have hurt her terribly to not be included at his wedding. It remains to be seen whether his close r'ship with the Yorks will continue now he is married to MM.

R122 How do you know that he has been “staying up late drinking with Fergie”? While I don’t doubt that it’s likely, how can you say that unless you were there? This and other threads related to the UK royal family (and there have been a lot, lately) regularly include conjecture presented as fact. These then are subsequently quoted by other people as fact.

Not criticising you in particular, R122, just an observation and a concern about facts and “facts”.

I assumed Fergie was excluded from Williams wedding because the whole influence peddling scandal was pretty fresh. By the time Harry got married the world had moved on to other scandals.

I'll conjecture that The Queen sat Charles and Andrew down, both together and separately and insisted there was plenty to do and they needed to work together and be nice. And Andrew needed to get his life on track. She was prepared to give Andrew more responsibilities and even to put him on better financial footing (including for the girls and for Fergie, ) but he had to shape up. And Charles had to stop being petty and overbearing and rigid. She told them in no uncertain terms that she would by pass both of them and leave all her shit to Edward and William and Harry. Not the Crown shit, but her personal shit. Reason I say that is because I've noticed a higher visibility for Andrew at public functions escorting Mummy to various events ever since Phil packed it in. I think Charles sees the utility of using Andrew Edward & Sophie more because there are just too many events and he is older and only wants to do the top ones. The children are getting a good look at how much work Betty & Phil have been doing all these years , so much so that they are having to divide the tasks up among three or four or five people. Betty is quite the little dynamo!!!!

I can't believe Camilla is blowing this thing off for some vegetable festival or something. It's kinda rude. It's a family occasion. You show up .

[quote]I can't believe Camilla is blowing this thing off for some vegetable festival or something. It's kinda rude. It's a family occasion. You show up .

Camilla follows Charles orders.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Jack is pretty good looking. And the Bush family is no prize, but no one is uglier than the Windsors.

So the Telegraph is live streaming, did ITV pay for the rights to broadcast? Seems like that would be an issue. I hope the live stream isn't region-blocked.

[quote]Jack is pretty good looking

Especially when compared to James Matthews, Pippa's husband.

There's about a billion reasons to love James Matthews, R131.

James isn't cute but looks like he has a long dick

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Eugenie on the cover of Hello mag.

Pippa Middleton has sad eyes.

Can't wait for the hat procession at the royal wedding on Friday.

Poor Beatrice. Can't she find an ugly or gay duke?

What are some of the stories swirling about Wills and his marriage?

And what are some good stories about Charles being spoiled rotten? I've heard the one about him needing to take all the paintings from his walls and his own bed with him when he travels, and there is the same wallpaper from 1967 or so. But what else?

Probably good to keep this thread clear for things more York/wedding related r139 If there isn't a recent BRF gossip thread using the search button, this is the perfect time to start one.

I'm curious. Did Edward and Sophie have their wedding televised by the BBC because as I recall they did not. There were snippets, but no real coverage. I think when Andrew married Fergie she wanted a big splash like Diana and Charles, and since Andy is the queen's alleged favorite, she said yes. Of course at the time Andrew was third in line or fourth in line wasn't he? Whatever. I do get upset when people try to compare Harry's wild days to Andrew. At least Harry was never a perv dating porn stars. Koo Stark, anyone?

Ouch - OK! Magazine have gone with Harry & Meghan as their main feature. Jack & Beatrice are relegated to a corner.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

I wonder where Eugenie gets that weird shape from. Fergie can get fat but she's not hour glass like Eugenie. Maybe it's the Queen Mother's genes... she was always portly.

Eugenie could look great with a slimmer physique and the right hairstyle, makeup and clothes.

Beatrice needs to learn to smile.

R145 - I disagree. Beatrice looks better with her horse mouth closed.

R142 Ouch indeed, now THAT is a snub!

It's possible to smile with your mouth closed. The real smile is done with the eyes and cheeks.

Beatrice started the grille trend. Granted she started it with a bit, but still, she did start it.

R141 I think Andrew and Fergie got a big wedding because there really was a lot of interest at the time. These big regal events were considered good for promoting Great Britain. There had been a lot of interest in Charles and Di and Andrew and Fergie were like the sequel. The divorces caused the world to realize the fairytale was fake. There's footage of Edward and Sophie available, so I assume it was televised. It's just that the world wasn't all that excited by a royal wedding in 1999.

Oh phooey. I have to go to Windsor for work next week. Will just miss the wedding.

Wikipedia says the wedding was broadcast, for what's that worth. I mean, it also says there were a bunch of Martians in attendance.

Eugenie is a handsome woman. The other one is unfortunate. Isn't there a hidden room in some castle tower for that one?

I feel bad for Bea. It's really her tooth situation that screws her up. Is there no cosmetic dentistry that can shave them down or...? That and a very subtle chin implant would do wonders. In Yuge's case, a breast reduction and a few months on a strict low carb diet with intermittent fasting and she would look really good. Her tits are just WAY too big for her frame, and her frame is a bit too big for her height.

I think Bea’s issue is her eyes. She’s got the Hanoverian bug eyes, just like Queen Victoria and just like Edward VII and George V. In her case, it’s very pronounced and she looks like a deer in headlights. I don’t think there’s anything to be done about it though, except wait for the skin to stretch as she ages.

That's a large Hanoverian bosom

Agreed, R155, but she's her own worst enemy... she insists on making up in ways the emphasize her bug eyes.

I significant JOB would help Bea's attractiveness. She should emulate Eleanor Roosevelt.

As opposed to here where she's kind of pretty... never going to be an oil painting but it isn't impossible for her to stop looking like there's windshield coming at her.

I think Bea's eyes are quite pretty, especially in r159 's snap. She is constantly having to cover those awful teeth with her mouth and it fucks up the proportion of her face. She has very pretty lips too. Thank god they aren't super thin or it would really be a dreadful situation. I wonder if she has that condition that causes eye bugginess. Can't remember the name at the moment.

^ Inbreeding?

r161 = Sparkles

[quote]I wonder where Eugenie gets that weird shape from. Fergie can get fat but she's not hour glass like Eugenie. Maybe it's the Queen Mother's genes... she was always portly.

Is this helpful, r144?

The only thing Bea needs to do is find her a nice, horny BLACK stud to appreciate her curves and extra pounds. He'd take her from being a princess to treating her like a Queen. Go black, Bea. If Harry could make half the commitment, then you can do the whole bit.

Maybe she should go Asian.

The York girls are going to look terrible as they age. They both are heavy, Eugenie has big tits and Beatrice has a big butt, and they both have that giant jaw.

R143 “...perhaps granny suggested a stylist too”?

Yes, because most 92 year old women have access to a list of stylists from which they can choose one to recommend to their grand daughters.

R167 - I can just imagine Her Maj calling her up and saying 'Eugenie, dear, you looked like a whale in last week's Heat Magazine. Why not get some clothes that don't make you look like a pig in knickers or lose some weight you fat cow?"

One thing I don't get about celebs and royals who let themselves get fat or stay fat - if I knew I was going to be photographed in public and at private events on a regular basis, I would do all I could to look my best. Not everyone can be gorgeous, but most people can get their weight down, dress better, and have basic plastic surgery. The taunts directed to the Yorks are cruel and humiliating, and they have the means and the time to get their issues under control; ie, hire a stylist and trainer, lose weight, get some orthodontia and surgery, ie a breast reduction. Even Jug Ears Charles had his ears fixed.

R169 You’re looking at this from an American point of view. The upper classes and the aristocracy simply don’t care what people like you think. They come from generations of people raised with amazing self belief. If they wanted to lose weight, get cosmetic surgery, get a stylist and trainer etc they would do it and they’d do it for themselves, not for you.

This is London, Windsor, Balmoral and Sandringham that we’re talking about, not LA.

Actually, R169, I'm not American (or Canadian). The Yorks are not immune to criticism and have been hurt by it. They do not exude confidence and disregard for their appearance in the same way that Pss. Anne does. It's sad when Bea is so clearly trying not to show her teeth, and the result is a bad case of RBF. For awhile they were looking better cliothes-wise, and I think I read they'd hired a stylist. They were wearing blacks and greys instead of those ubiquitous print horrors. I really hope Euge looks at least presentable for her wedding, but I'm not optimistic....

R171, Print horrors are the latest travesty from the fashion industry. I refuse to wear something which makes me dizzy looking at it.

Beatrice doesn't necessarily need to go the cosmetic surgery route. All she needs is a stylist who will help her with a complete make over. She needs to cut her hair and do something about the color. The shade she wears it, it drains her complexion. She needs a hair color that flatters her complexion. She has good skin. She needs better make up. Stop with the raccoon eyes and this dark heavy brows. Ugh! And she needs her hair cut! She is not 16 any more. Lose some weight and start wearing more flattering styles. You can see very well that they spend money on expensive clothes, but expensive and flattering are definitely not the same thing for Beatrice. If it's true that Bea and Eugenie are close to Harry, and have become friendly with Meghan, certainly Meghan has access to people who might help Beatrice. Not that Meghan gets it right that often, but at least she knows that world.

Beatrice should try to snag herself a prince from Liechtenstein. They’re rich, and there’s a lot of them. Her children would be born princes as HSH, which is better than having commoner children. It would also be the first marriage between two ruling Houses in decades.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[quote]certainly Meghan has access to people who might help Beatrice

And Meghan has had such astounding success!!

Well clearly, R177, Meghan has to interpose herself into the recommendations of her stylists instead of doing what she's told. I suspect Bea would be much more compliant. She would be given a prescription and she would follow it. I doubt Beatrice is nearly as assertive as Meghan. And face it, there's so much room for improvement at this point that just getting rid of her raccoon eyes and getting a stylish hair cut would be an incredible improvement.

Well, there's just no excitement for it. Unless the Royal Family passes out free food and ale, no one will show up. THe public enjoys a good party, and there was genuine affection for Harry because he is so popular, but Eugenie? Really? I feel sorry for her and I have to wonder if it was her mother pushing her to do it this way. Seriously.

Two new photos have been released of the couple.

Eugenie was cute.

In R181, there is a photo of Jack too. They look related because they are related (third cousins?).

They're third cousins twice removed which is so distantly related it's barely worth mentioning.

The Queen and Prince Philip were much closer related. They were actual third cousins twice over which is much more worrying from a genetic viewpoint, though nothing new for royals of the past.

Jon Snow is fucking his Aunt

The British monarchy is a 1000 year old soap opera where, just like tv soaps, the roles change from year to year and decade to decade.

The "stars" are the Monarch and those in close succession to the throne.

OR, if you have sufficient star wattage of your own for some reason due to your looks or scandalous behavior.

Andrew was a "star" in the 80s because he was sexy and high up in succession, though he was always in support to the Charles and Diana storyline. He and Fergie had their own plot thread until they just started becoming embarrassing (also: no longer sexy) and the rise of William and Henry superseded the House of York. The Daughters of York weren't interesting enough, pretty enough, shocking enough or close enough in the line of succession to earn much public interest other than "Oh, god...what are those dreadfully dull girls wearing now?"

Basically, Andrew and the Yorks are the equivalent of aging tv stars bitter they aren't stars of their own show.

The Queen's great grandfather, Edward VII, and Prince Philips great grandmother, Princess Alice, were brother and sister - both being the children of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Well...it's way to small for Fergie's head so there goes that thought.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Seems George and Charlotte are in high demand for weddings. This may be the start of a whole new career for them. Wills & Katherine ought to charge fees and but in a special fund for when the monarchy dies.

Photos and more info here.

Will she wear her mother's tiara? Is that bad luck? Will she want a rich America to suck her toes if she wears the tiara?

No one cares about her tiara. No one. Fuck a tiara.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Hunny, Phil has to take care of his health. And he has an image to protect. He's not coming if it means he may shit his pants in church, or drool all over everyone. And if he can't walk on his own he will never allow himself to be photographed in a wheel chair. Never. He wants to be remembered as dashing right until the end.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Robbie Williams's 6-year-old daughter Theodora is also going to be a bridesmaid. That's... random.

The DM wrongly described George & Charlotte as 2nd cousins of Eugenie.

Wrong.

They are first cousins once removed.

George, Charlotte and Louis are first cousins only of the soon to arrive child of Pippa and her husband.

George, Charlotte and Louis are second cousins to the children of Peter and Autumn Phillips, and Zara and Mike Tindall.

Looking at those pics of the RF's children, it's clear that George and Charlotte are the most (actually only) attractive members of the BRF. Poor Lady Louise.

Lady Louise has a lot of personality, and quite a bit of the "it" factor. Self confidence, which is saying something considering what she went through with her eye situation. But really Charlotte is the STAH! I wonder if Louis has a third eye or horns or something. They are really keeping him under wraps.

Lady Louise is one of the plainest, gawkiest, least attractive teens in Britain. She hasn't got a single good feature. The clothes they buy her don't help either.

I was pretty fucking hideous at her age, 14. Two years later... not too shabby to put it mildly. [REDACTED] years later I am pretty fucking hideous. The circle of looks. Let's see how it plays out.

Lady Louise looks like her parents dropped her a lot when she was a baby.

Eugenie needs to wear red lipstick more often. She looks great in that photo taken in Verbier last winter.

[quote]Lady Louise looks like her parents dropped her a lot when she was a baby.

Lady Louise looks like she was born underwater, forgotten for a few minutes, resuscitated, shaken, dropped and resuscitated again.

I think Lady Louise looks fine. She's the grandchild who most closely resembles the queen. For too long, her parents dressed her like a small child. Let's see what happens when she grows into her own style.

How come we never see her younger brother James?

We didn't see Louise at all for years. It's only since she's become more active in carriage-driving that she's been seen more in public and photographed. The Wessex kids are brought up very privately cos that's what their parents want (and no-one cares about them).

I wonder if Prince Philip is really fading... not fast but steadily. Granted he is very old. But even though he hates Fergie it is well established he loves his grandchildren and is regarded with massive affection so I find it hard to believe he wouldn't just suck it up with the red head and attend the service and reception after. I wonder if he isn't much frailer than they let on.

Philip shouldn't make his decision based on whether Fergie will be there. He survived Harry's wedding with Fergie in the same room. He can go to the wedding and catch a ride home before the requisite group family photo. OR...the could do this. Instead of one photo with the bride and groom, and their parents, siblings, and grandparents, they could do two photos. One with just the bride and groom and their parents. Then the second photo could include the grandparents and also ALL the cousins, aunts and uncles. That way, he won't have to stand close to her in the same photo. They can still be yards away from each other.

Can we just get rid of the 'Koo Stark was a porn star' BS? She was a minor actress and went on to be quite a successful photographer. In hindsight, she would have been a much better choice for Duchess of York than Sarah. The children would certainly have been better looking.

Also everybody says she is really a lovely person.

I want to know what trick her dress designer is going to use to disguise her MASSIVE BAZOOMS!

^ A bustle and handstand lessons.

I've always thought Prince Andrew was the hot prince among the brothers. He and I are the same age and I got a hard-on whenever he was on the nightly news, back in the day. I wanted to be his valet. Yeah, I aimed high.

I did, too, R213, until sordid deviant predilections came to light.

Lord James is very cute. He’s going to be the Hot Windsor in his 20s, until he hits the brick wall like they all do.

Lady Louise....bless her heart.

Eugenie, seen here with her cousin, is jogging hours at a time determined to whip those jugs into place.

^ Yorkie Daniels.

R211 et al, Aren't you aware that many, many men are extremely attracted to super busty women, and believe the bigger the better? I've even met some bi & gay men that are convinced being with a woman with huge breasts makes them appear to be more straight and/or the subject of envy.

Eugenie should be choosing fashions that flatter her bust line .

r218 Agreed, but indulge me and show me some of these fashions you speak of that flatter such a massive bust yet retain modesty befitting her "station"? I would absolutely love to see her go full on tits up and out in a period costume. Think Elizabeth Berridge in "Amadeus". Sadly, I don't think that is going to happen.

R215 There is no Lord James - his courtesy title is Viscount Severn.

Those Wessex children always look like WW2 refugees. The Cambridge kids look like child models in a magazine for the upper classes. The Tindall girl looks like a future Honey Boo. And the older Phillips girl looks like a child of Satan, haha.

C'mon, r218, it's a wedding dress for bride of the BRF, not some Jersey dago mob wedding dress where the tits are featured!

R221 According to rules of eitquette for the BRF, all the other children must look mussed up and inferior to George Charlotte and eventually Louis. They all get their clothing for public appearances from a special "Rumpled Room" at Buckingham Palace, and an aide de camp musses up their hair for them just before they go out. Some times jam is smeared on their clothes for a special effect.

I stand corrected R220. I forgot about the courtesy title thing. Hes not frequently a topic of discussion.

R224 - the titles are interchangeable for me. Princess Margaret's son Viscount Linley was often known as "Lord Linley". He is now the Earl of Snowden after his father's death. His father was also known as "Lord Snowden" during his lifetime even though he was an Earl.

Diana's brother is Earl Spencer and he's referred to as "Lord Spencer" at times.

As far as Edward's son is concerned, I don't believe I've ever heard/seen him addressed as "Lord Severn". But then, his parents have given him a much more private childhood.

So Beatrice is the Maid of Honor. I wonder what she'll wear and how she'll look. I pray they have someone do their make up who is a professional and who will insist that Beatrice not look like a raccoon trapped in an attic. No news has "leaked" about who is designing the dress? I mean this is not Katherine Cambridge. This is not Meghan Wales. This is Eugenie. It needn't be a secret.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Eugenie should absolutely NOT wear a high-necked gown. It's the worst choice for a woman with with big boobs . That "fashion designer" is a moron.

R229, Those are just designs for a trim model-type made larger to accommodate full-figured women. Waistlines cut women in half and make them look heavier. I'd rather see her in a lengthening V-neckline with a see-through jacket overlay for modesty. Very full skirts also don't work.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Did the phone surrendering thng happen at Harry's wedding/reception?

Sleeveless lace deep v-neck with an industrial strength uplift bra and a mermaid silhouette to highlight her hourglass figure, ie fitting the waist and the hips and then flaring out, sweep train. Veil to the floor only.

I always love to go to Windsor! I've been several times and it's fun. The town itself is charming. Shopping, food, etc. When I have out of town guests Windsor is a great day trip. Other day trip I enjoy is either Oxford or Cambridge.

Andrew tried to talk Eugenie into inviting Melania, but Betty said don't even go there... Andrew has lots of old photos of Mel. Big fan.

So Camilla's grudge is about Andrew not supporting Charles when he was caught cheating on Diana!

She is a rottweiler!

R239 - are you writing fiction or just shit disturbing for fun? If you're going to lie at least try to make it believable.

I hope Eugenie takes some Udderall™ before the ceremony!

This potential shit show will also be livestreamed on the BRFs YouTube channel.

R243, Thank you, Hope they pick an entertaining host.

That's 5 AM on the east coast. Does that include the guests walking in or is it the bride's arrival at the church?

r245 I think the actual ceremony starts at 6 AM ET. Found this for even more viewing options (FB, Twatter, the aforementioned YouTube) and it says 6 AM ET for the ceremony.

So I read that both Meghan and Kate will wear something they have worn before. I know Kate has done that before; it will be interesting to see if Meghan does.

Did I read that article posted above right? Is Charles leaving after the Royal family lunch and pictures? He is not attending the reception at Andrew's place? I assume the Queen and Philip will retire after the lunch as well. And there's a party the next day too. Which Harry and Meghan will also miss because of their flight to Australia.

Poor Eugenie. This is really starting to feel like the Royal snub.

r245 - The wedding agenda or procession is all over the internet.

Thanks so much for your helpful link R248. Asshole.

This grifter bitch wont look better at her wedding than I did at mine...

r245 and r249 - Guests to meet at the Farm Shop, on the edge of Home Park

10.15am: Congregation to be seated in St. George’s Chapel

10.25am – 10.55am: Members of the royal family and Jack Brooksbank's family arrive at St George’s Chapel. The Queen is expected to be the last royal to arrive ahead of Princess Eugenie, who will be accompanied by Prince Andrew

11.00am: Princess Eugenie arrives and service begins

The happy couple will exchange vows in front of the Dean of Windsor, the Right Rev David Conner.

Eugenie appears to have paid a sweet tribute to her parents, the Duke and Duchess of York, by choosing the Archbishop of York John Sentamu to lead the prayers.

11.55am: Service ends

12.10pm: Guests will make their way on foot to the reception hosted by the Queen at Windsor Castle.

Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank embark on a 15-minute carriage ride around Windsor.

They will leave from the Royal Mews out of Windsor Castle and travel on to part of the High Street, before returning via Cambridge Gate, but they will not travel down the Long Walk like Eugenie's cousin and his bride.

3.30pm: Reception at Windsor Castle ends. Motor coaches will return guests to the Farm Shop

Evening: Although the venue has not officially been confirmed by Buckingham Palace, Eugenie and Jack are reportedly having their evening party at her father Prince Andrew's home, The Royal Lodge at Windsor.

Thanks R251 / R248 You have redeemed yourself! Seriously, very helpful, thanks!

I'm quite surprised Camilla isn't attending. You'd think she'd want to avoid bad publicity. I'd say she's the most widely-disliked member of the Royal Family (although she isn't as hated as she was about ten years ago). True, there are lots of people who hate the Cambridges and the Sussexes, but that's balanced out by the fact that they have many fans. Camilla doesn't. Skipping the wedding of her niece-by-marriage just seems petty. I know the official line is that she'd already committed to charity work but let's face it, the Royals already have plenty of time on their hands. She could easily have rescheduled, given how far in advance she knew about the wedding. She's going to become queen in the not-too-distant future and you'd think she'd want to improve her image.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

That's worthy of Amy Farrah-Fowler, R254

Imagine how Charles and Camilla are going to treat Andrew and fam when Queen Elizabeth dies? I don't think it will be pretty.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Is it over yet? How did it go?

Great, r260. They're honeymooning in Africa.

...Forgot to add ....'With Fergie", r260

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

That said, girl needs to get her eyebrows sculpted. A nice arch would work wonders.

If Meagain is recycling I pray it is that disastrous bedspread dress!

[quote]There is no Lord James - his courtesy title is Viscount Severn.

Correct. He would be referred to in conversation as Lord Severn.

Eugenie looks happy. Good for her.

For her processional down the aisle at St. George's, her sister has switched out the trumpet fanfare Fergie insisted on with this:

She looks like Frida Kahlo.

It must be fucking weird being a ten-year-old named Viscount Severn. I know they all just call him James, but still.

So will Prince George and Princess Charlotte make it down the aisle? Who was that wicked little girl that tossed him down the hillside? Will she be there? She will be aiming for him. I know the type.

That was Savannah Phillips.

Re that designer in the DM speculating on Euge's wedding dress - who the hell wears a turtleneck wedding gown? Definitely not someone with gigatitc ta-tas.

A line, scoop neck. Probably satin. Quite simple.

Nice girls don't show cleavage at their wedding.

R222, if I remember correctly, that dress is actually either a Russian or Russian satellite country wedding dress. The Russian style tiara is a clue.

If you want to see nightmares, google "revealing wedding dresses."

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

R23 if she's had work she needs to fire the doc.

She looks awful. Would a little Botox kill her??

R277, were those dresses some kind of period costumes for some special pageant? Atrocities all three of them. Beatrice actually looks quite pretty without all the make up.

Prince Andrew as he's portrayed in The Windsors on Netflix is probably close to the real Andrew. Same with Fergie and the girls. Every time I see any of them now I think of the way they come across on Netflix! Especially the Yorks, Charles and William and Harry. I like Netflix Katherine better than the real one. Edward too, and Netflix Princess Anne is priceless. All very well cast.

Her Majesty allegedly watches The Crown and likes it. She's reported as saying to friends that she liked The King's Speech and that it was 75 per cent accurate.

R279, That was supposedly for a ball thrown in honor of Bea's 18th birthday. I suppose 'ball' is the operative word, since they look like they're dressed in Disney costumes.

I just got home from work on the east coast, can’t decide whether to get up at 5 to watch it live or watch the repeat.

Who is this bitch?

I may need an intern, as I am on the west coast and fading fast. Anyone interested raise your R's, otherwise I will try to gut through. I can't imagine this going to 600 but if it does, and I flake out, let's call it Princess Eugenie's Wedding: Official Thread Part 2. Please add the word "intern" in your signature. I really have a vibe that there will be some good shit to heckle from this, like a drunk Fergie, or MM making a scene, but I could be sadly wrong. Let's hope that is not the case!

We will all pray for you...and hope we meet again on the other side of the thread.

Aww, thanks r285! I really thought I could go the distance, but it is looking kind of slim. I'll be fucking furious if I miss out on anything as you know they will take any untoward behaviour out in the replay.

Wait, I thought this wedding was already over. It's tomorrow morning? Whatever.

Bea's 18th birthday ball was fancy dress, I think it had a Victorian theme that ended up looking very Disney. If I recall correctly it cost 700,000 pounds.

Don’t worry, if there’s any scandal some bitch will see that it winds up on YouTube.

Countdown, bitches. 115 minutes

Perfect....

Arrivals underway! It's windy in Windsor!

Pretty funny site, watching the women clutching their hats against the gale force winds.

Was that Fergie having to show her pass? The one in the pink?

Kind of a tatty bunch...

All those expensive hairdoos ruined! All that's missing is pouring rain.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

They're all showing up now

Robbie Williams and His Mrs. are apparently the George and Amal of this wedding. She was waving! What a chav.

Ugh - some of the guests look so trashy

Pretty sad seeing some of the onlookers wearing wedding guest outfits and hats.

Robbie and his wife are neighbors of a friend of mine. They're disgusting cunts. Why are they at a royal wedding, even a second-tier one?

I don't remember guests having to show their invites at the gate as it were with Harry and Sparkles wedding, or am I remembering wrong? Seems odd.

Demi Moore and Naomi Campbell, too! When they ask to confiscate her phone, will she lob it at them?

Demi Moore is in attendance according to the Mail. Just saw Naomi Campbell and Liv Tyler arrive.

Pixie Geldof wearing.....something.

Is that Stephen Fry?

Whos that woman wearing the white socks with red sandals?

Some of these guests look like the just threw on the first thing they found on the bedroom floor. Some are quite natty though I must say. I wish there was someone narrating.

[quote] Can we just get rid of the 'Koo Stark was a porn star' BS?

No, of course not, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Koo Stark was the Megan Markle of her day. Pity she couldn't close the deal the way Megs did.

Was wondering that myself r307. God, this "crowd" gives a whole new meaning to "sparse"

What channel is this thing on?

Are the streets still filled with cops and no crowds?

Hah! The winds are really picking up. I hope a torrent of rain shows up when Harry and MM trot down the lane.

I'm watching the live feed on the telegraph website. Some of the guests have been ....... interestingly dressed. The attention seeking woman in the top hat was my last "Holy Shit" moment

Cara Delvigne turned up working her bullshit non binary identity in a fucking top hat and tails. She looks ridiculous. Such poor taste, showing up the bride by wearing something she knows will create controversy.

Ten years from now these two will be on DL cunting about what they witnessed at the wedding.

They'll be accused of lying.

Anne!

Stephan Fry & his sullen sugar baby...

Robbie Williams is chewing gum in the church.

As predicted, MM is wearing black/dark navy

Kate looks lovely though

Meg just arrived, dark navy blue knee-length dress and matching cape/coat. Didn't get a good look.

Here comes the royal minibus

Robbie Williams turned up clutching his poor mum who looked drunk and his anorexic wife who waved to the crowd! What a trashtastic event!

Princess Anne looks like a bird of prey.

What channel is this ON

No crowds at all on the Great Avenue. How pitiful.

MM looks, once again, trying to look pregnant in an I Love Lucy maternity coat. And, also once again, her hair is a fucking mess!

R324, I'm watching it on TLC.

Let's see if Phil decided to show up today.

[quote]Robbie Williams and His Mrs. are apparently the George and Amal of this wedding.

Aren't George and Amal the George and Amal of this wedding? I thought the groom worked for George's tequila company?

This is so embarrassing - I wonder if Andrew will regret forcing it on everyone

And now MM is scratching and picking at her head.

George and Amal aren’t there, neither is Cindy Crawford and her hubby.

Kate - Alexander McQueen

MM - Givenchy

So far, this is making Harry and MM's wedding look high fucking end. This really is sort of sad.

Fergiebhasvarrived after the groom.

Thanks to all who can add extra detail like r333. I am stuck with the BRF feed. No commentary, and I have no clue how far ahead or behind I am.

Fergie is drunk. Wandered over to the crowd before entering the chapel. What a clusterfuck.

Kelly Green, Fergie? Really?

OMG - someone throw Fergie back in the car and drive her home!

Yep Fergie is on something alright. How mortifying.

Oh shit. Look at this - how pathetic.

Beatrice was looking concerned. Fergie Osborn’s out of it. Sitting on the royal side making faces at people. NO SHIT!

Fergie's hat was ripped from the head of a gondolier.

live stream from chapel

I'm outside the US so am stuck watching a live feed, but i am seeing a lot of the bare streets and it's so sad.

Kate and Will holding hands. Meg’s talking to Princess Anne.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Charlotte working the crowd; George looking sour

And the other kid just fell up the stairs.

Robbie Williams is sitting opposite the royals, his daughter is a flower girl. Dreadful.

Thanks R344! I was sick of the feed I had been watching. I don't ever remember Will and Kate being so lovey dovey. Interesting.

No Philip.Figured that.

I hate to say it, but George is starting to look like Louie Armstrong.

The children's sashes are reproductions of a painting.

Phil and Liz have arrived.

Beatrice really is INCREDIBLY homely, isn't she.

Philip arrived with The Queen.

Phillip looks like a marionette

Phil's there, the old shit...

Beatrice has visible clumps of eyelash glue.

I was wrong! Phil made the scene! I love how it looked like Bea was lecturing her fucked up mum. Hah!

The groom is wearing specs! There are no words.

Sarah & Beatrice look like a couple of chubby barmaids.

Still working that phantom pregnancy

Fergie has 'calmed her nerves' quite considerably...

There's a woman behind the groom in a blue hat who is giving such an evil glare. Maybe there will be an objection moment

This is a lot more low rent than I expected, and my expectations were already pretty low.

Eug about to arrive. No veil.

The dress looks lovely though. She obviously didn't choose it then

Eug can’t walk in her thick, chunky gown

An exposed back. Let's see how those tits behave.

Oh god that fabric is WAY to heavy! How dreadful.

Too many steps to climb. I like her dress. The groom should have worn his contacts instead of glasses.

Queen Mum tiara. Exposed back. Yuck.

Can't walk in her dress and colour in her tiara...

This is the royal equivalent of a camo wedding.

Now the groom took off his glasses

She is literally LURCHING down the aisle! Holy fuck!

I think the dress is nice, but i have to admit I was expecting a complete disaster. Sweet that the groom looked tearful.

The lady in the blue hat and spotted outfit still looks incredibly sour

She has TENDRILS!

The fabric looks like embossed wrapping paper.

Eugenie looks like she's lost a lot of weight.

Kaye Moss is the lady in the spotted outfit.

Sorry, KATE Moss!

They are taking turns looking like they might vomit. That girl can't move in that dress for shit. Jesus.

Eugenie has her mother's walk.

The dress looks like it is made from the same fabric as my gran’s Xmas tablecloth!

The groom looks like he is going to faint.

He's probably just realised how many vacations he'll have to take with that revolting family.

Yup, R383, they are both as bow-legged as a couple of old cowpokes.

Tendrils: The Sequel

She keeps looking at him and he looks like he can barely stand up.

The stairs were a disaster. The dress is better than Meg's but that's not saying much. It's too heavy.

What's with the two stop wedding vows? That's a new one. The tiara's all wrong, big honking emeralds for a bride? Otherwise she looks very pretty and she has definitely lost weight.

The groom is either gonna barf or bolt....lookin' unsteady.

Poor Eugenie...she's WILLING him to get through this.

It was sweet that the ugly sister popped out into the aisle to fix the train of Eug's dess. Andrew was working it too, and he was fixing it outside.

She is putting on a cut glass accent.

He cannot get ring over her big knuckle. This is the gift that keeps on giving.

R394, on Australia we call that accent ‘piss elegant’.

Bea keeps trying to corral her mum, even during the vows. Yikes.

I'll bet that Beatrice will be crying into her pillow tonight. Not only is she the last to wed but now her sister is at least 3 sizes smaller than her.

Where is HM? I only saw her getting out of the car, and a bit of her walking in.

I'm not sure about the dress or the emerald and diamond tiara but the bride looks good.

Maybe cocaine Kate was glaring because she got stuck in the secondary room with the rest of the riff-raff. Why would she and Naomi and Demi Moore all be there anyway?

Are they friends of Eugenie's? No. The groom's? No. Fergie and Andrew's? No.

Man, that Karl Lagerfeld sure can sing!

Bocelli has facial wasting. He looks unwell

The groom looking nervous.

Who is this ghoul?

He's such a minor singer.

Meghan getting out of the car with her bird legs for all to see.

I like the dress, but then again, I was anticipating something more along these lines:

Reading from The Great Gatsby .Do they even know what this book is about?

Did she just give Jack's thumb a handjob??

Bea is working her cut glass accent as well. Ridiculous.

Lots of green outfits including pregnant Pippa.

I wonder how long she practised that - such enthusiasm, but so little ability.

Harry's old flame Chelsy Davy (spelling)?

Charlotte and George.

Jesus this is fucking dull. Not even a fun shit show, just a dud.

Perhaps scowly Kate Moss can take aside Fatty Beatrice and show her some of her best purging techniques.

Oh, shit.....the bloody blind Italian is bleeting again.

Just thinking the same thing, R409. Though it may qualify as The Great American Novel so far as any book can claim that title, I figure a book about a chameleon con artist not quite successfully passing himself off as a gentleman ought to translate just fine across the pond.

Bleating.

Eugenie looks very good.

Her dress >>>>>>>> Megan's mess

Flowers at St George's Chapel. A little too much. Click on for three photos.

Is this singer blind? Why the sunglasses?

It's turned very funereal. Perhaps Megs dressed for the occasion after all.

I think she looks beautiful.

Hahahahaha R419. I feel you.

I like the flowers. There's a lot of them but the colors are lovely.

Maybe r421, but not by much at all. I agree this has a very funereal vibe r424

Meghan and Kate's outfits.

Are they that fucking illiterate that they don't know what the fuck The Great Gatsby was about?

Has Eugenie actually READ The Great Gatsby?

It ends in tragedy with the hero dead.

Eugenie needs to stop grinning.

She read Gatsby and thought Jay reminded her of Jack. Crazy! Gatsby is a doomed fraud of a man helplessly in love with a rich bitch who leaves him for dead (literally). This is just bizarre.

It's an autumn wedding, can't compare with summer wedding.

The groom has developed a distinct expression of buyers remorse now

The actress always finds the camera even in church.

Gatsby is a weird choice but at least it's personal.

No Rogue Reverends or over-exuberant gospel choirs this time out, and Phil probably has the remote control to the trap door for any speaker or singer who goes over 2 minutes.

Fergie and Beatrice on the steps.

This sermon has such a "warning" vibe. How odd. This whole wedding is really off.

I'm guessing she liked the movie with Leo....

Charlotte's royal wave.

Jeebus...MeAgain's hair is looking nappy.

Dear god, Fergie just looks TERRIBLE.

R442 I just love her. She is so much the opposite of her brother.

Hasn't Jack had Royal lessons?

He has twitchy face.

Bloody Commoner.

Yes, it's all very "let's hope it works out" and now here are some funeral dirges.

Did Stephen Fry bring a Fraggle?

Fergie is WASTED. Poor Bea having to do the caretaker role. I see they are trying to keep the camera off her as much as possible

Those teeth.

The golden tapestry is gorgeous.

The back of the gown.

So....two more royal weddings then we get a funeral!!!

Is Meghan wearing a coat or is that her dress? Her skinny ankles look like they could snap.

Where the hell is Liz?

You gonna have the royal funeral LONG BEFORE the next royal wedding.

Fergie is ready to party!

I like her dress.

And, Eugenie has a Hermione Grainger thing going on.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

A wave from the bride.

Jack is either going to barf or faint.

Dear lord in heaven!

Fergie's hat is truly revolting.

Jack looks like a nervous mess, poor guy.

Fucking hell R457. I have to say the dressmaker did a great job of taming Yuge's tits. Do we know the designer yet?

Poor Louise, she doesn't deserve that.

Who chose the music? I would swear this was a funeral if I didn't know better.

Actually a lovely ceremony, Fergie looks wonderful, Eugenie is quite pretty

Fergie and her wild and wanton look.

The bride and groom with Kate Moss in the background.

Sorry, Yuge's hair is a disaster. She should have worn a veil. Not in a mean way, but her look is just so...janky.

Her hair looks better than Meghan's did.

Poor Fergie with pit stains.

Will Fergie's hat take off at the end of this dirge?

I hope.

She'll never live those pit stains down. Never.

How could she not take care of that ahead of time? What a slag.

R472 Fergie looks like she's about to have barf stains the way she's wobbling.

OOOOOH! Andrew is bossing people about!!!

The bride looked happy.

There they are! Phil looks more animated than HM. I wonder what's up?

The rhythm of the ceremony is off. Too somber in parts, jarring in others. Where are the Beckhams and the Clooneys? Andrew is a bossy prick and poor Lady Louise had her knickers on display as she tripped up the stairs.

That buttressing is amazing. Must be gorgeous to see inside.

Very funereal but Eugenie looked beautiful. Her makeup was a bit too heavy but still nice. The dress was perfect for her. Hair and tiara were good choices.

Jack was a red, wobbly mess.

It was a huge difference from the tone of the marriage of Meghan and Harry.

I like Beatrice's outfit.

It must be incredibly boring to be a guest to that, especially if you know you are only there are a "celebrity" showpiece, not that you actually know or like the couple.

Savannah Phillips and George acting up (two photos).

At least it will all over soon.

Well said r479 I did not know that about Louise. I have such a soft spot for her, and she is at that awful age. I hope no one teases her for it.

^^^ it will be over soon.

Eugene's dress was designed by Peter Pilotto and Christopher De Vos

Princess Eugenie is wearing the Greville Emerald Kokoshnik Tiara, lent to her by Her Majesty The Queen. The tiara was made by Boucheron for Mrs Greville in 1919 in the fashionable ‘kokoshnik’ style popularised in the Russian Imperial Court.

Poor Beatrice has one of those faces where it looks like you have been caricatured, but it's actually just your everyday, biological face.

R484 Great snap. Princess George is getting, um...happier...by the minute.

When the go to these overhead shots, I keep expecting a casket to enter. What a weird sense of foreboding.

OK, get the hook. Enough. Way too fucking long and turgid

Some of the guests: Cara Delevingne (in tux below), Naomi Campbell, Kate Moss, Stephen Fry, Ellie Goulding, Liv Tyler, Robbie Williams, James Blunt and Demi Moore.

I love George, He is so expressive. ThevQueen looks as fed up as the rest of us.

Liz seems to be shrinking by the second.

Someone done slipped that boy-child some go-go juice and a few pixy stix, R490.

Holy shit, HM does not look well at all. She is yellow, and she usually has that gorgeous glow. I am worried.

From Twitter:

"Princess Eugenie asked for her wedding dress be designed with a low back as a tribute to the hospital where she had a childhood scoliosis operation."

Lots of tweets about the open back dress showing the surgery scars.

Who chooses a dress to show their surgery scars? Everything has to be a bloody statement these days. So over it.

This is ridiculous and a bit sad. I've had more people at a backyard BBQ than this.

The dress was pretty. And, very flattering for her awkward figure.

Her back looked great!

She looked radiant.

They are not going to make her ride through town in that carriage with hardly anybody out to see them.

Oh how humiliating. Andrew's such a prick.

Cara Develigne looked like a tosser. What a nasty little attention whore.

did anyone else's feed cut out? I wanted to see the stupid carriage ride.

R503, Did you notice the toothpick in her mouth! Nasty bint.

[quote]Dear lord in heaven!

Poor Charlotte's perfect little pose -- upstaged by Lady Louise's knickers!

Take an early shower, Eugenie's Wedding Troll, you're bringing everybody down with your whiny remarks.

Andrew really is a nasty piece of work. We are going to get the full carriage horror, here in Australia, I’ll keep you posted.

AGREED R499!

So there are people on the streets. Not huge crowds but passable.

r507 you are new here, aren't you?

That was much shorter than Prince Harry's wedding

The Earl and Countess of Wessex (Edward and Sophie) with their son James

Getting sleepy... Good night, kittens, thanks for the commentary!

Super fast carriage ride. No crowds on the long walk at all. Sad!

Zara and her husband.

Another lady in green - Autumn and Peter Phillips.

R515 - I don't think the carriage went on the long walk so there wouldn't be too many in that location. It was a shorter procession for this wedding compared to Harry's.

The Queen.

Pippa Middleton was there along with her sexy bro. She is due to have a kid any day now. She looks rather vile in olive green.

The Queen is shrinking but Philip is still pretty ramrod straight.

I drifted off for a minute and snapped awake thinking a funeral was on. I even thought I heard a commentator say, "just think, a few months ago they were all gathered together for a wedding..." Jeez.

But on to more disturbing content, here's some nose-picking and snot-eating:

What the hell is that on her head?

I felt a bit sorry for Andrew. Sarah was so wasted and so busy mugging and waving at passers-by that he was forced into the 'mother of the bride' stuff like straightening Eugenie's train for her. Sarah either threw up or was given a stern talking-to during the bit where they disappeared into the vestibule. She emerged looking physically ill and Andrew looked well pissed off.

In the case we need a second thread, here you go. Off to sleep. I had a lovely time with you guys!

Will and Kate holding hands.

We're perfectly capable of doing our own new thread in a hundred posts if one is needed. Jesus.

Die in a grease fire r527

In the case we need a second thread, here you go. Off to sleep. I had a lovely time with you guys!

I wish we could say the same. Don't give up your day job, girl.

[quote]I hate to say it, but George is starting to look like Louie Armstrong.

Satchmo?

The bride's scar. Most people would cover scars up but I guess she's owning hers.

The kiss.

No, Satchmo's name is spelled "Louis" and the "s" is always pronounced. No one would spell it "Louie".

The radiant bride.

A wave to the crowd.

Oh no, R530. How did I do that?

I meant Louie Anderson.

The kiss from behind.

Leaving St George's Chapel.

She takes this ring.

Pre-wedding interview with the couple.

Who is the handsome guest with long gray hair?

The short carriage drive through the town of Windsor.

Bride looked radiiant. Do you think Jack was just nervous? Or something else involved? Really 7 years is a very long time to be dating.

How does Cara D know the bride/groom? Surprised there were celebs at all for this very low-key wedding.

Very formal and proper with the exception of the reading of The Great Gatsby. Would this be the norm for British upper crust and Royal weddings?

She found the camera!

Her makeup was a little heavy but she looked lovely.

Bride did look lovely. Poised and happy.

Poor Beatrice.

Poor Fergie's pit stains. All that gawping and face pulling. Dear Fergie. Chelsy Davy actually makes me think of Fergie. I think they're the same brash loud character. I think we probably would have hated her as much as Megain with her wishbones, but in a different way.

You have to give Meagain credit, her recycling rendered her unnoticeable. Kate shone in her jewel tone. And Kate has great, shapely legs.

I thought the flowers were terrific. It was beautifully done compared to the previous wedding, which was very plain.

Charlotte fell while walking up the steps.

Chelsy is back! Hang in there girl, it worked for Cammy!

Kate talking to Sophie Wessex.

Is PrinCESS Michael of Kent there?

Her hubby is gay

R546 - I agree. Chelsy and Fergie are similar in character and personality.

Does anyone notice that Yuge has no neck?

She looks better with her mouth closed.

She does have those huge Windsor horse chompers.

Demi Moore was there. Random.

Something borrowed - a tiara from the Queen.

I'm so glad to see Fergie slay it two weddings in a row. I've missed seeing her dramatic but unfussy style

Actress Liv Tyler.

Model Naomi Campbell.

Prince of Wales came solo. Camilla is up in Scotland and couldn't be bothered.

The wedding hat parade.

Poor Beatrice. Stress eating. Hope it's not a buffet.

What the hell happened to the father of the bride, Prince Andrew? He used to be handsome and physically fit.

Eugenie and her father.

Chelsy needs to stop braying when she is in the public eye.

A bow and a very deep curtsey.

Age... you gain weight in you're normal.. he looks not bad for a guy at his stage of life, with nothing to do all day.

Princess Michael of Kent in pastels, of course. She was allegedly heard by an unreliable source to be repeating a very awkward joke around the company, that pastels are her idea of "white adjacent".

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

A solemn moment during the wedding ceremony.

Eugenie does look great, I love that she's kept simple lines and focused on the foldings of the fabric for interest. The angularity of the folds offset her curves really well, showcasing her assets, like her dainty features. Her hair, everything great choices for her.

And let the Fergie Fun begin! She can't help herself.

An interesting angle on arrival.

Savannah Phillips seems very badly behaved in public. I'm surprised. With Princess Anne for a grandmother you'd expect the opposite.

Ferg's got some major crepe there. Not talking the dress either.

The sleeves were too long, three quarter would have been better, but overall well done.

The Charlotte Wave.

A well-dressed woman named Holly Valance.

Model Kate Moss in polka dots.

Fergie blowing in the wind.

Getting close to 600. Second thread here:

Even though she's back from a long Scottish vacation, the Queen looked more feeble than I've seen her. Her back is very curved and bent. I wonder if she has osteoporosis?

Singer Robbie Williams and wife Ayda.

Poppy Delevingne, Ellie Goulding and a woman in pants.

Nutmeg's frantic gestures and popping eyes.

Kate has worn a similar outfit.

r582 HM has been looking a wee bit like a comma of late, but I have NEVER seen her look so sallow and worn. It was upsetting to see her. I thought Philip would give me more cause for concern, but in comparison he was downright lively.

Demi Moore.

No one's mentioned the hot rugby player husband of her cousin?

R589 - just for you! This is a repost.

Two of Harry's ex-flames were in attendance - Cressida Bonas and Chelsy Davy. They're friends with the bride.

A video of the carriage ride.

Pippa is ready to pop. She came with her husband and brother.

Meghan and Anne.

Pretty in pink - Pixie Geldof.

At the altar showing lots of fabric in the back of the dress.

A windswept Charlotte.

The bride was more calm than the groom.

The York ladies sure have large derrieres.

Naughty George.

R600 So cute