Trade Chasing, and Exposing Down Low Men: Hell Hath No Fury Like A Gay Man Scorned

Very true. In this case, it fits into the “gay fantasy.” The idea of being gay and being intimate with the straight/masculine guy. It also is connected to the “not wanting to be associated with”other (effeminate) gay men in our community. “I don’t wanna date someone who’s gay, and I wanna date the not gay straight guy.”

[JBA]: Have you ever been in the situation of having the opportunity of messing with a REAL straight guy? How did that experience turn out for you?

I did once. For a while, I was….. 🤔 idk how else to describe it because we weren’t technically “dating” but I was involved with a guy who was in actuality living a double life. He had a gf and a few kids. Now and then he would tell me that he made up some lie to get out of the house and see me. Of course, it ended. I don’t believe there is ANY straight/DL guy out there that’s gonna one day say “I’m now gonna live my life with him.”

[JBA]: I have been with a few down low men in the past. The downside to it from my own experience was the fact that it’s always filled with lies and of course a lot of deception. The game of playing you before they end up getting played and fearing every possible thing including you exposing them. Those situations for me were terrible and was a complete waste of my time. I mean, I could have cuddled up with anybody, but I was entertaining somebody else’s man unbeknown to me. It was just another lesson learned, and experience gained.

Right! I don’t think a lot of gay guys understand that there is no happy ending when dealing with a DL man. It’s never going to be something long lasting, or that will last forever. Enjoy the brief moment(s) you have with him and let that be that. I don’t want to assume but in my experience, it’s most likely just going to be a few sexual encounters, and THAT’S IT. One of the things you asked me yesterday was if any of the hood guys, and I was around for a moment ever tried me? I think to be DL, and you must be very cautious about who you pursue if at all. DL guys are DL because they don’t want the neighborhood, the city, the world to know their secret. So imagine if there is a gay guy who is open about his sexuality. How will the DL man actually know that he won’t be outed?! HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A GAY MAN SCORNED. I think what happens when gay men want to BLAST the DL guy and it ends badly. The gay guy is hurt and has nothing to lose.

[JBA]: There have been some terrible outings, and even a guy online was rumored of being shot by one of his trade pieces after outing him on facebook. I believe his name is DL Detective. These men are not considering the dangers of exposing these men even in the moment of betrayal, rage, and heartbreak. You have to be smart about the decisions you make when dealing with a man’s livelihood and image.

I remember hearing about that. It’s not fair on either side. He didn’t deserve that, but I can’t ever find a reason. Aside from that story, I know of other accounts where gay guys have been killed, attacked, assaulted by DL guys for fear of being exposed.

[JBA]: Yes, so what do you think be going through these scorned gay men’s minds, when they plan on exposing these down low men? I mean, some of these men sometimes are gang affiliated and drug dealers. Like why do you think they carelessly risk their own lives and others around them?

I honestly don’t know. I think it’s very immature. I will give you two possible outcomes from exposing them.

Two scenarios: Either no one believes you and something bad happens to them. Or they do In both cases, and you end up being labeled the bitter, sad faggot. It comes from a place of anger and hurt. “I’m so upset that I want to make your life ruined, unhappy, etc.”

[JBA]: What’s been the craziest experience for you dealing with a down low man? Have that experience drove you to the point of not wanting to mess with them ever again?

The craziest? Not that there were many. I remember there was this one husband/father who literally had an entirely different life. He was living, that his wife didn’t know about. During sex, he didn’t want me to wear any lotion or fragrance because he was sure his wife would smell it and find out. He couldn’t use the soap; I had in the bathroom. So he would have to buy travel size soaps and throw them away. He would buy a box of condoms and leave them at my house. Being afraid she would find them in his clothes or the car. He wanted to take me to lunch but was too scared, she or someone he knew, would see him out with an unidentified young man. The one time he did take me out we drove almost 45 minutes away to somewhere where nobody knew him.

[JBA]: Damn, that’s the exact definition of down low and being scared of being your true authentic self. Now let’s speak on something severe. Because he did use protection, which ultimately protected his wife. At the same time, there are so many women mainly women of color, who are HIV positive due to their partners being on the down low.

I’m going to share something that still haunts me to this day! I met a young man, 18-years-old who lives in not too far from me. He deals with only straight-identifying men, married men, etc. He doesn’t go for the gay on gay sort of thing according to him it’s just not his thing. His wrap-sheet is long, and I mean long he’s been with a lot of heterosexual identifying men.

These men are married, engaged, committed individuals. He does not use protection, and he intentionally sleeps with these men as an HIV positive man, unprotected sex only from his own mouth. The moment he revealed this to me my soul crushed for those men more so their wives, girlfriends, fiances, baby mamas, side chicks, boy toys and everything else in between!

I was so disgusted even with myself, and I’m not the one doing the act but to know it, I felt sick, and I couldn’t get over it. He told me how he only does raw sex with straight men, STRICTLY with men who are in committed relationships. How do you feel about HIV positive gay men who are deliberately affecting our black sisters, cousins, friends, neighbors but most crucial somebody’s mama and each other?

"Trade Chaser" sounds so much nicer than "Desperate Old Queen"!

I'm going to use it the next time some idiot talks about his straight fuckbuddy.

These women are under the impression of having a committed, faithful man. These men are pastors, lawyers, doctors, teachers, some of these men are fathers who are supposed to be setting an excellent example for their children. He chooses to mess around unprotected with a gay man and doesn’t even know that he’s dealing with a black widow spider. These men are giving their sexual partners who he shares body fluids with nothing but venom. The fact that this young man is luring men in and knowingly potentially infecting them and those that they lay down with at night is the sickest individual known to man. That young man is demented. These men lay with him with the urge of having this secret fantasy and exploring their sexual appetite. Don’t even know they’re laying with the enemy.

[Omg.] Reading that hurts my heart. For the gay guy, I think it’s wrong to be deceitful when someone’s life/health is at risk. For the DL men who sleep with him. They should always protect themselves and their family at all costs even if you are living this double life at-least be smart and safe about it.

[JBA]: Yes, and this could also put his life in jeopardy. Let one of those men find out, and they come back to seek revenge.

I’ve seen guys make disclaimers about not wanting other openly gay men on their dating profiles. I never understood it. I mean, what’s the ratio of actually coming across 100% straight men who don’t deal with other men exclusively on a gay app? Plus, why chase after straight men knowing some of the risks of being with one?

Its kinda like when young girls wanna date the “bad guy.” You know nothing good can come from this, and hopefully, you learn it’s just a phase. It’s hard to explain, and most of the time they don’t even know any better. Shit happens, and then they are the first ones to cry about it.

[JBA]: That’s a perfect way to put it and in no way am I judging or shaming guys who like straight men only. We’re not casting judgment on any of you. I appreciate The Jerk Journal for joining me for this mind-blowing article of Gays Speaking Out. This is one of my favorites thus far. I must say, this one was a good one.

If you ever been in a situation with a down low man or have experienced a treacherous situationship with one. Share your story with us by filling out the ‘Share Your Story’ form on the side of the page, and I’ll feature your story exclusively on JBA. I hope you guys enjoyed this article as much as we did. Share it, and don’t forget to share your own stories with us as well.

Great article, OP. Thanks!

This is awful. Tawdry, shallow, yuck. It's not even very interesting or novel.

I think article speaks against Datalounge’s love for straight men.

*this.

Well I suppose it's progress that gay men can be just as disgusting as straight men.

Can someone give me a summary of this ill-written crap?

“I’ve seen guys make disclaimers about not wanting other openly gay men on their dating profiles. I never understood it. I mean, what’s the ratio of actually coming across 100% straight men who don’t deal with other men exclusively on a gay app? Plus, why chase after straight men knowing some of the risks of being with one?

Its kinda like when young girls wanna date the “bad guy.” You know nothing good can come from this, and hopefully, you learn it’s just a phase. It’s hard to explain, and most of the time they don’t even know any better. Shit happens, and then they are the first ones to cry about it.”

What do these down low black men look like? How do you spot them in public?

[quote]I think article speaks against Datalounge’s love for straight men.

I think the article supports Datalounge's bitterness regarding love for straight men.

[quote]Well I suppose it's progress that gay men can be just as disgusting as straight men.

Haven’t been gay long, have you? I’ve known for decades how awful gay men can be.

Yep—no interest here. Straight men is the Datalounge creed.

R13 says it best

No.

An awful lot of verbiage here, what does it , mean?

A lot of urban men strictly or exclusively seek very macho men who identify as straight but occasionally secretly have sex with men

DL Detective? Which one?

R19, they're doing God's work. Well, until they get HIV and pass it onto their wives.

Why do you assume that? Do you assume the same about openly gay men?

Summary:

gay men are the aggressors

closet cases are victims

What a bunch of self loathing bullshit

Well, if you out people, you are the villain

"Why do you assume that?"

Because it happens far too often and there's no reason to bring in a (usually unsuspecting) third party into something like HIV infection?

"Do you assume the same about openly gay men?"

No. Typically, they don't have wives.

[quote]Well, if you out people, you are the villain

Says homophobes.

Well there can be gay shame. A couple I know, nice enough, 30 years togther, picke up some hustler in Miami brought him north with them. Said it wasn't a threesome. His first night in town Jose came by my house when both guys were out buying him food and hit on me. He had the body of a short 50-year old Puerto Rican with a clipped big thick dick. He tried to fuck me, no, I tried to fuck him, no, impasse to our standing groveling, so he went home. "Don't tell Jim." The next day I told my friend thanks for sending me some meat, he had no idea what I was talking about I told him laughingly of Jose, realized he was quite hurt, almost to tears! Oops. Jose was there, enscounced. Life went on. I had nothing further to do with him. A couple of years later I began seeing a married local fisherman with a tight little hairy body and a really nice dick. He'd come round all the time. Well, it saved going out! I'd fuck him to his delight. Jose would see his truck, must have been jealous, or hated me enough to tell Woody's wife her husband was gay. He knew her from yard sales they worked. What was the gain of that for the filthy P.R. piece of shit?

I hate men.

[quote]I hate men.

They should be kept like piggies in a pen.

Take your meds r27...

Why does the author say:

[quote]For many gay men, that man is the DL man who has his hands in two cups instead of one.

Who can fit their hands in cups? Toddlers?

Why do they call them trade?

They call them trade because the author of the article has traded sanity, reality, and editing skills for that dull and messy article.

It’s a good article

The urban down low scene is huge. And a lot of hot macho guys

Interesting

[quote]His wrap-sheet is long,

Oh Dear!

is he a mummy?

Why can't we just let people be attracted to whom they're attracted to?

You should have tried the set of [italic]Amen[/italic] 30 years ago.

I was fine with this until I got to the part where the vengeful psycho deliberately infects partners with HIV. That's a well-documented urban legend so I'm very skeptical about its inclusion here.

“Listen… I mess with dudes, but I’m not out there with it. I’m not gonna hold you but I’m really attracted to you. If you are cool with me not being out there, we can mess around. I’m not looking for anything serious right now. If that isn’t what you’re looking for, I understand and that’s cool too.”

Creative

Grindr

Things DL bros say

A lot of this is just high theater.

Down Low guys have NO respect for the women they deal with, unless the women know then it’s really not “down low”. I think half the fun is thinking they’re pulling a fast one on someone but the truth is a lot of them have intimacy issues and hang ups. Hardly worth the chasing.

No sucking

Caught

trade. according to “urban dictionary“, the top definition is:

“A young hyper-masculine looking gay man, usually black or latino in urban contexts. Trade typically dress in urban clothing and play to the thug stereotype. The term “trade” originated from the notion that these men were only gay for pay– thus they would “trade” sex for money. In recent years, the term has come to refer to any gay men of color who dress in hip-hop inspired clothing and play into the masc fetish.”