Young Men of Datalounge - Please Explain Your Preference for Old Men

The referenced thread.

[quote]There's another thread about how 50-year-olds and up are successfully bedding scores of twenty-something-year-old men

Scores? Quantity over quality.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I love older men. I really wish there was more porn featuring men 50 and up. I guess I have a daddy fetish. Always have. I'm in my late 30's.

No, I don't care about money. I've dated sugar daddies and had lousy times.

[Quote]Because older gay men twice their age often still have much to offer besides money and gifts, and have for instance helped many a club twink to access and become part of a larger world where everything isn't about being gay.

[Quote]My first sexual experimentation with a man was when I was fifteen and he was in his fifties, and even though he wanted to offer me material things, I wasn't particularly interested in money and gifts. I liked that he was intelligent, civilized, gentle, took my writing seriously and told me I had a sensuous quality. He made me feel about myself the way I wanted to feel about myself, in a way no kid my age could've done and no other person had.

Younger men squabble and compete with one another. With an older man, none of that comes up.

Older men can validate and assure a younger man in ways that a peer could never do.

There are all kinds of problems with relationships between older and younger men. But when a young man is in one, the drawbacks are not immediately apparent.

When you're younger you want to fuck someone with experience, not someone like yourself who would be a waste of time.

I would have never looked at a man over forty when I was in my 20s. Now that I'm early 40s, I notice 50s/60s more.

That man in OP photo is not hot and looks about 60.

Plus, 20 yr old men are so cocky and annoying

Ryan Phillipe, Jared Leto, Jensen Ackles, Colin Egglesfield, are the only men in their 40s who I would let fuck me. Other than that my cut off is 35.

R9 are you over 35?

The man in OP’s photo is DAMN HOT, r8, and just my type (I’m early 30’s). Older men know a lot and they have a calmer vibe. It must be the confidence/assuredness. I also like being on different playing fields because I usually get competitive/jealous with men my age. Plus you’re maybe a little hotter, while with equals you’re nothing special, and I like to be thought of as the hot one(in his eyes).

I find it dubious. Spend a lot time in gay bars, and maybe 1% could fall into the daddy issue/like older men category. And that is being generous - including guys looking for sugar daddies. It is rare. Don’t believe the hype.

In a word -- masculinity.

True--older gay men didn't think they were straight just because they weren't flaming.

"With Child?" They got pregnant?

[quote]The man in OP’s photo is DAMN HOT, [R8], and just my type (I’m early 30’s).

You don't mind that he has no lips and the mouth of an ape?

Here I am boys. I'm all yours!

He's waiting to be serviced.

R13 but their testosterone levels have dropped a large amount by age 50

OP's old man looks like he's the head of one of those cults where they all commit suicide in somewhere like rural Iowa.

He reminds me of this guy.

Methinks that referenced thread has much fantasy material. Men don't like anything over 35, no matter what their age. But they will settle for what they can get.

Any guy in his 20s looking at guys in their 50s is looking for money.

Guys in their 30s who would settle for a fortysomething are less attractive than guys their own age. Same for any guy who would be "interested" in men 10+ years older: they're not qualified for the decent looking guys their own age, let alone younger.

I’m not invalidating any of the older men in the referenced thread who claim to have success with men in their 20’s/early 30’s, but I don’t believe for a second that their Grindr’s are blowing up/they’re getting mobbed in gay bars from younger guys on a consistent basis, as many in that thread claimed.

The truth is very few younger guys are interested in over 35 (unless you’re exceptionally attractive/fit). Now, if money is involved, that’s something different entirely. But as far as hookups, most guys over 40 are going to have a difficult time trying to hook up with guys in their 20’s/early 30’s.

But again, I know it happens from time to time.

Dammit. Just typed in a longer response, but it was tl;dr. This is re: sex, not relationships.

Me: 54. Hook up: 22. Few weeks ago. Chat after, asked him how often he scores on Grindr. He volunteers that he and a couple friends go after eldergays for several reasons:

- Young guys want to hook up at night, but haven't showered since AM.

- Young guys say they're okay with a hook up but get needy and want more.

- Young guys "choreograph" the sex and get pissed if something goes sideways.

- Eldergays survived the 1980's-90's and did not contract HIV, so they are experienced and safe.

This last one made me wince. He said that he and a few friends seek out eldergays to play raw, since they are "safe" and not going to pass along any STI's. I lectured him about how utterly stupid this assumption was.

R16 = Roseanne Barr

[Quote]Men don't like anything over 35, no matter what their age. Any guy in his 20s looking at guys in their 50s is looking for money.

R22, your "truth" is apparently untrue for many 20ish and 30ish year olds who prefer men over 50. This is why I started this thread - why do many young men NOT think like you? I'm surprised that a good percentage of young men (about 25-30%?) have no qualms about getting with a much older guy. (I'm excluding the golddiggers from my estimate).

Regarding the pic I posted - I've seen young guys talking to and kissing older men who look similar to him in some of the bars I've been to. I guess young guys like those aren't part of your clique.

Older men don't have vocal fry.

When I was in my 30s, I found and hooked up with a fuckbuddy who told me he was 69 (but was really 73... funny story! I've written about it on DL before) and he was awesome. Great, and I mean, incredibly awesomely great in bed. He was sweet, respectful, kind, honest, funny, and so not self-absorbed. I had to end it when he professed his love for me and asked me to divorce my husband and marry him, which I told him from the outset was not going to happen. But for a couple of years, it was great. I still miss him, 20 years later.

[quote][R9] are you over 35?

No. And I don't mean to be rude, but every gay guy I've met over the age of 55 are not very masculine.

[quote] "With Child?" They got pregnant?

[quote] —What A Fanciful World You Live In!

CISSEXIST!

I dated a man who was in his 50s when I was in my 20s. I’ve always been kind of an old soul, and found guys my age to be tedious and boring.

I appreciated a man who was sexually experienced and who cared about me having a good time. I learned a lot from being with him and look back fondly on our time together.

And he didn’t have money, so that was absolutely not the issue. We’re not all that shallow.

Why is OP's picture of an 80 yr old?

[Quote]Why is OP's picture of an 80 yr old?

Because he's OLD, and some young men are attracted to that.

In Trump were gay, I'm positive the misfits here with their numerous, unresolved "daddy" issues would be lining up to fuck him.

Younger guys who go after older guys only do it cause they can't get guys their own age.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Why else??

Fine, maybe a younger guy wouldn't "mind" a bit of hookup sex with an older guy, but he's not getting into any serious LTR with one unless money is involved or he's too fug for guys his own age and younger.

Like what this open-minded-to-older-men poster says upthead about his experience with an old guy:

[quote] I had to end it when he professed his love for me and asked me to divorce my husband and marry him, which I told him from the outset was not going to happen.

This "good percentage of young men who have no qualms" about older men are no different than young straight guus who go for "cougars." Good for some bucket list fucking but not going to take them seriously long term without some other compen$ation.

Your assumption that it's all about $$ and older men not being sexually attractive says way more about y'all than it does about reality.

I can see 20-something with 40-45. Or 35 with 45-50. But 25 and 55+ is rare and unique.

Simple, nothing is hotter than a man who actually LOOKS like a man, as opposed to younger men who often look pubescent, even if they are in good shape.

I've always been into older men and it has nothing to do with money. I'm sure it's the proverbial "daddy issues" as my real father didn't really factor into my childhood. I also think the youngest child tends to have these issues too. I was playing around with this hot older man and we were talking after sex. He asked me if I was the youngest in the family and I said youngest of four. He said he guessed correct. He was a psychologist and noted that the youngest child typically goes for older men (assuming he meant if the child is gay).

I'm in my mid fifties. When I was younger I always went for men 40 and up. Now that I'm older I still like 40 and up. Younger guys don't interest me at all. And, no, I'm not ugly and am in great shape so shut the fuck up.

[quote] Young guys want to hook up at night, but haven't showered since AM.

Uh, what? You saying older guys take showers twice a day?

Don't all normal humans that work out/work outside during the day shower twice?

Another vote for $$$. There are very few hot guys in their 60s.

Young guys who have emotional issues due to troubled childhoods do much better with older men. Let's face it, there are a lot of us out there.

I found that older men gave me the emotional security, acceptance, confidence and self-esteem that I never got from my family. They also mentored me. The only times I felt anxiety-free was when I was with older men.

I have always been attracted to older men. I spent a lot of time around adults as a child and never had an easy time relating to people closer to my age.

My own father was not around much when I was growing up—he and my mother divorced when I was a baby. Perhaps part of the attraction is trying to fill that void.

I have been intimate with guys my own age, but found most of them to be selfish, stiff lovers. I had an affair with a man in his sixties when I was in my twenties—he was incredible in bed. So confident and free in his body.

I don't like soft dewy baby skin that many young men have nowadays. Strange but I just don't. I also dislike immaturity.

When I was a teen I loved geriatric old fossils. Hit 20 and first guy I lived with was a year older. In 30s I went out with a guy 17 years older. Depends on the guy really.

There's something about a well-seasoned man. Not a boy or a twink or a gayling, but a MAN. A certain style and comfort in his own skin. The sureness of his touch, born of all the sweet wars of the flesh of which he is a veteran. The worldly wisdom and the quiet humor that inform his smile. The warm pillow of his manly chest. Heaven.

I always fantasized about the muscled, hairy older guys when I was younger (I was a skinny twinky thing). Now that I'm older and more muscled & hairy (and there are loads of hot, buff men in their 40s) I'm on the other side of the equation.

A lot of over-40 actors are keeping themselves together these days, so older men are following suit.

Josh Duhamel, 45:

Timothy Olyphant, age 50: